Let me tell you that once I started to watch your videos, I didn't stop.... You are being my light on my way to get out and rid of all this "inferno". Thank you Sam Vaknin
Ohmyghodd I listen to your lectures/teachings every morning before I wake get out of bed & start my day, and it’s the last thing I do after I get home from work, shower have dinner by myself (since I’m alone now divorced after 29yrs married to a narc DIVORCED but no financials yet after it signed the divorce decree and the court gave it “90 days” THREE TIMES as far as half of our homes worth since it doesn’t want to sell our home, half of its investment accounts oh! And didn’t think I deserved it’s retirement pension 🙄 It did give me 3 beautiful kids all ADULTS now, & is a cop, who knows how to work the law system! Oh we even got sealed in the LDS temple, our son went on a mission, my ex narc was actually a real Wolf in sheep’s clothing!! It Went to church every Sunday! Oh my! I was sleeping with thee enemy all these years! The longest time I was given the silent treatment was 6 months. I finally got out & survived! I can talk about it easier now but didn’t want to live anymore about a year and a half ago, my adult son had to help save my life. I remember my ex telling me four things the day I left our home, which I didn’t know what the hell it meant a year ago it said to me, “ I adapt, why would you want to stay with somebody like me, I will never change, I don’t need anybody in my life I am just fine, and I have no choice” now I understand through your teachings. It also texted me, “I feel empty, sadness & confusion” ALL that makes sense now. I finally Found my strength & courage to walk away.! It’s new supply was waiting in the wings for 2 years, and narc ex moved in with her and her 2 small boys like a month after I left our home. ..I got no closure and again I understand everything! I’m enjoying my own company and learning to love myself! Gosh I wish I could meet you in person and shake your hand and say Thank you for helping me to heal! I guess magical thinking! Anyway I went off track and I could go on and on! I was only supposed to say I listen to you every morning and night For the last year or so🙂 Aloha🌺🌋 all the way from Kona, Hawaii (oh and now I understand why I had to fix everything around our home and do all the adult chores over the years, it’s bcz it had a mentally thinking of a child not older then 9yrs old) sadly but truly
Sadly I can relate to your story in so many ways. Married to a covert religious narcissist for 19 years. On going 3 year divorce. Extremely Passive aggressive. He was a cop for 31 years. I always said he was trained to “handle” or “manage” people. So thankful to be away from his warped sense of reality. I have peace in my life that I did not have while being with him. He asked if I was leaving him for someone else. I said “Yes, I’m leaving you for ME.” Best decision I ever made.
Only now, looking back decades (3), can I see all of the abuses, public humiliation, deception for what they were. I used to cover for him all time, always to de escalate every situation. It’s been a little over a year since he’s passed and I’m finally feeling relief
Very important and informative lecture professor. By understanding the abuse processes one can heal quicker, clean up the mind and restore correct object positioning. Thanks for upload.
Thank you so much Dear Professor Vaknin. I remember my childhood that all what they did and what I felt . Just it's fact what happened. We all deserve LOVE. ❤❤❤.
Here’s a question. How do you convince a narc victim that they’re a victim? I ask because my brother won’t accept his situation, and I’m trying to convince him he’s being abused.
You don't. It's painful to watch. I have 2 friends and myself trapped in the abuse. If I could stop, I would. Neither of them want to stop and continue to live with their abusers.
If the abuser is a co-parent (separated) how do I support and encourage my stepsons to be themselves? They are nearly out of the home, but their mother has a strict idea of what their adult lives will be and has shown no signs of letting them go. What's even more strange is they don't seem to think they have a choice and often act unempowered in everyday situations. On occasion it seems like they have a glimmer of awareness and my husband (their Dad) wants to tell them everything...I am cautious to explain what is going on to them because I do not want them to feel triangulated or like they would have to choose a parent. They defend their mother fiercely and are convinced she is the victim in every circumstance - this has harmed their relationship with their father.
I would pursue it from the perspective of talking about others. Characters in movies/media, .... demonstrate how abuse can show up is spaces at work, landlords school,.... How would one know when X has gone too far. What behaviour is appropriate? what is a boundary violation? Ie calling at 7pm vs 2am. various curfews, ... I can give you some more examples if needed. Understanding the right to have boundaries is important for understanding abuse of privileges and hence outright abuse.
You are a very interesting to listen to...,and a very handsome man with a good sense of humor. I am a mother of a narcissist and he lives in my head,is so hard beacuse he is my son. In 20 years I have been hes victim and he has almost killed me,but talked hes way out of jail. Even in court I defende him! He dig grow up in a loving family but still I blame my self. I liste to everything You say and try to get my life back,I am now 77 years of age.I have to go on trying... Best regards from Sweden 🙏
Let me tell you that once I started to watch your videos, I didn't stop.... You are being my light on my way to get out and rid of all this "inferno". Thank you Sam Vaknin
Same here. I am so happy for you also that you're benefitting. He has the best information ever.
Yes
@@nulusan and
Same here 😊
I am not my abuser
This is how therapists should learn how to explain to victims.. who are crying out for answers..after horrific abuse and manipulation..
AAAAAAMEN to that
Ohmyghodd I listen to your lectures/teachings every morning before I wake get out of bed & start my day, and it’s the last thing I do after I get home from work, shower have dinner by myself (since I’m alone now divorced after 29yrs married to a narc DIVORCED but no financials yet after it signed the divorce decree and the court gave it “90 days” THREE TIMES as far as half of our homes worth since it doesn’t want to sell our home, half of its investment accounts oh! And didn’t think I deserved it’s retirement pension 🙄 It did give me 3 beautiful kids all ADULTS now, & is a cop, who knows how to work the law system! Oh we even got sealed in the LDS temple, our son went on a mission, my ex narc was actually a real Wolf in sheep’s clothing!! It Went to church every Sunday! Oh my! I was sleeping with thee enemy all these years! The longest time I was given the silent treatment was 6 months. I finally got out & survived! I can talk about it easier now but didn’t want to live anymore about a year and a half ago, my adult son had to help save my life. I remember my ex telling me four things the day I left our home, which I didn’t know what the hell it meant a year ago it said to me, “ I adapt, why would you want to stay with somebody like me, I will never change, I don’t need anybody in my life I am just fine, and I have no choice” now I understand through your teachings. It also texted me, “I feel empty, sadness & confusion” ALL that makes sense now. I finally Found my strength & courage to walk away.! It’s new supply was waiting in the wings for 2 years, and narc ex moved in with her and her 2 small boys like a month after I left our home. ..I got no closure and again I understand everything! I’m enjoying my own company and learning to love myself! Gosh I wish I could meet you in person and shake your hand and say Thank you for helping me to heal! I guess magical thinking! Anyway I went off track and I could go on and on! I was only supposed to say I listen to you every morning and night For the last year or so🙂 Aloha🌺🌋 all the way from Kona, Hawaii (oh and now I understand why I had to fix everything around our home and do all the adult chores over the years, it’s bcz it had a mentally thinking of a child not older then 9yrs old) sadly but truly
Yes!!! We were sleeping with the most terrible enemy... But we are out!!! And learning a lot from these videos a lessons from Mr. Vaknin
What an excellent comment! Thank you for the insight. Enjoy your peace, freedom and remaining family. 💗
Sadly I can relate to your story in so many ways. Married to a covert religious narcissist for 19 years. On going 3 year divorce. Extremely Passive aggressive. He was a cop for 31 years. I always said he was trained to “handle” or “manage” people. So thankful to be away from his warped sense of reality. I have peace in my life that I did not have while being with him.
He asked if I was leaving him for someone else. I said “Yes, I’m leaving you for ME.”
Best decision I ever made.
Sometimes when I think I'm halfway there, videos like this remind me I'm only 2 feet forward in the game!
Only now, looking back decades (3), can I see all of the abuses, public humiliation, deception for what they were. I used to cover for him all time, always to de escalate every situation. It’s been a little over a year since he’s passed and I’m finally feeling relief
Its this, we are all reliving our childhoods, all along thinking otherwise 😮
You are incredibly amazing ...u help alot of people who got abused to find their own path after being manipulated and hurt harshly and mercilessly .
It’s like every baby do with they’re parents, good or bad . we have to love someone how is abusing us in order to attempt survive . 🇩🇴
Thank you. Prof Sam Vaknin for enlightened me.
Thank you for your great lecture.
I’m very grateful for this video!
Very important and informative lecture professor. By understanding the abuse processes one can heal quicker, clean up the mind and restore correct object positioning. Thanks for upload.
Narcissism is prolonged grief disorder :20:30
Thats exactly it
Thanks for the informative video.
Thank you so much Dear Professor Vaknin. I remember my childhood that all what they did and what I felt . Just it's fact what happened. We all deserve LOVE. ❤❤❤.
Great! It alo explains to me the process which happens in Cults. Thanks
50:00 Very good discernment
For me it was a way to survive.
Thanks for the video!
Identification
Thank you ❤
ENLIGHTENMENT!
Here’s a question.
How do you convince a narc victim that they’re a victim?
I ask because my brother won’t accept his situation, and I’m trying to convince him he’s being abused.
You don't. It's painful to watch. I have 2 friends and myself trapped in the abuse. If I could stop, I would. Neither of them want to stop and continue to live with their abusers.
Too painful, he’d be abandoned has to come naturally
“If you can’t beat em, join em”
If the abuser is a co-parent (separated) how do I support and encourage my stepsons to be themselves? They are nearly out of the home, but their mother has a strict idea of what their adult lives will be and has shown no signs of letting them go. What's even more strange is they don't seem to think they have a choice and often act unempowered in everyday situations. On occasion it seems like they have a glimmer of awareness and my husband (their Dad) wants to tell them everything...I am cautious to explain what is going on to them because I do not want them to feel triangulated or like they would have to choose a parent. They defend their mother fiercely and are convinced she is the victim in every circumstance - this has harmed their relationship with their father.
I would pursue it from the perspective of talking about others. Characters in movies/media, .... demonstrate how abuse can show up is spaces at work, landlords school,.... How would one know when X has gone too far. What behaviour is appropriate? what is a boundary violation? Ie calling at 7pm vs 2am. various curfews, ... I can give you some more examples if needed. Understanding the right to have boundaries is important for understanding abuse of privileges and hence outright abuse.
You are a very interesting to listen to...,and a very handsome man with a good sense of humor.
I am a mother of a narcissist and he lives in my head,is so hard beacuse he is my son.
In 20 years I have been hes victim and he has almost killed me,but talked hes way out of jail.
Even in court I defende him! He dig grow up in a loving family but still I blame my self. I liste to everything You say and try to get my life back,I am now 77 years of age.I have to go on trying...
Best regards from Sweden 🙏
I wish I would unterstand English 😭