What Social Isolation Does To Your Brain - How To Undo The Damage
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- Опубликовано: 16 авг 2022
- Did you know that social isolation can actually cause your brain to shrink? Watch this video to learn more about the effects of social isolation and what you can do to undo the changes.
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References
Stern Y. Cognitive reserve in ageing and Alzheimer's disease. Lancet Neurol. 2012;11(11):1006-1012. doi:10.1016/S1474-4422(12)70191-6
Lieberz, J., Shamay-Tsoory, S. G., Saporta, N., Esser, T., Kuskova, E., Stoffel-Wagner, B., Hurlemann, R., Scheele, D., Loneliness and the Social Brain: How Perceived Social Isolation Impairs Human Interactions. Adv. Sci. 2021, 8, 2102076. doi.org/10.1002/advs.202102076
Feng C, Eickhoff SB, Li T, et al. Common brain networks underlying human social interactions: Evidence from large-scale neuroimaging meta-analysis. Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2021;126:289-303. doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.03.025
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I love being alone. I purposely isolate myself, although I recognize it may not be healthy; I think it goes beyond being an introvert, depression, and anxiety (generalized/social). It's literally a way of life and not many people can understand it.
It’s important to take time for yourself and be alone. I think we should have a personal relationship with ourselves just like we have with other people.
Hey girl,Are you wearing socks ??
It's only unhealthy if you are not feeling well. Otherwise keep going
Snap! I'm the same due to my upbringing and, naturally, over time embraced it.
As a substitute, taking up hobbies like playing a musical instrument or learning a new skill can replace people.
Edit: The most important thing is travelling every year for a month or 2. If you take that away from me, I have nothing.
@@user-pi3fc1qt1l Id like to know some of your hobbies and interests:)
having social anxiety from a young age really messes you up, more than people realize. prayers and action we can all get through this
Agreed.
Amen
I've been isolated for 10 years because of this
I've reached a point now where I love isolation. It fills me with such a feeling of tranquillity. I love it. But I still seek out contact with one person I can trust every now and then to remind myself how it feels then return to the tranquillity of joyous peaceful isolation again.
"More than people realize" lmfao. Tell that to the boomers who decided all of america needed to shut down for a few years because a wee virus was killing them.
Remember; your mental health is only important when it does not incovenience others ROFL
I didn't choose to be lonely, but society is full of bullies and narccsistes that socializing has become a nightmare.
@@RobertGarcia-wb4hy what a kind,considerate thing to say 😂
Please don't listen to these programmed Dr's and Psychiatrist. Isolation helps your find yourself and your purpose. All the negative affects she's talking about are for people who are on drugs, depressed or not doing anything recreational. Isolation with reading, learning new skills and finding god does way more than a social person going to a university. Once you leave your Isolation and enter the social world you'll have skills that you never had and more confidence. Being too social turns you into a programmed robot that plays monkey see monkey do.
@@RobertGarcia-wb4hythanks for proving their point
yeah, and it feels like people that socialize doing the stuff that makes u "cool" (u know """enjoy the youth""" f around, going parties, smoke, drink, post all of that on social media, etc...) they dont do it because they want, they do it cuz of what people would say, at least most of them... its sad
@@cs1645For real. I found myself being dragged around by people like that (I was like do you people ever sit still)? Most times it was just a drag, a waste of time and pointless and I wasn’t having “fun.” I think in their case it was more like wanting to get wasted all the time and escape real life and then telling me how I had issues and “need to get out more.” (Their lives were total train wrecks). I think it’s more sad to think they need all that to be happy only while high or drunk. Very sad indeed. And it makes you think more about what “living it up” or “having a life” really is and isn’t.
TRUST IS A BIG FACTOR. If people weren’t so darn untrustworthy most people wouldn’t isolate themselves from others.
True however isolating yourself for too long makes you more vulnerable to manipulation and daydreaming (since you only spend time for yourself you only get to talk to yourself...)
Too much and Too less is a bad thing.
Trust, empathy and reliability.
Yes life can have its challengers it will throw all sorts of things at you.
The mystery is: éwhy don't all the trusty people join to feel less alone ?" We all feel the same, so why not creating our own social media and network ?
Correct and true
I self-isolate to survive. I absolutely love and cherish being alone and being left alone. I am able to interact with coworkers and neighbors just fine, but when I get home I don’t have people over or answer the door for anyone unless it’s an emergency with a neighbor or something. I want to move to a very rural, private area where the closest neighbor would be a mile away. My solitude is my salvation. 🕉️🧘🏼
This is exactly me.
Same!
totally..!
Same
I do that as well and I value that time.
However I also do social things like playing board games and role playing games at a table with other people. I also socially connect with friends both in person and over communication tools, You need a balance.
I was practically raised in a social isolation environment full of bullying and mistrust. It is extremely difficult to combat social anxiety and re-wire your brain when you are lacking even the basic social skills that most children learn in a young age.
Same childhood here, you are absolutely right.
You are always on your guard, never truly relaxed.
Same here. I was raised off grid where there were very few, very far away neighbors. We were homeschooled , so we had no friends. Us siblings just had each other and that was pretty much it.
Sadly, you are not alone! No pun intended!!!!
Real
I resonate with this so much
I love being alone. I enjoy being around people in small doses. As long as you keep your mind active by reading and learning new things, I think you'll be fine.
I agree! I like to pick and choose being around other people and in small doses. I generally prefer to be alone
I used to be a people person, nickname Social Butterfly lol
Now that I’m slightly older (late 30s), I’m finding being alone is the way to be for me.
A lot of people are mental and emotional vampires, many like to gossip, others are just straight up rude and ignorant, and it’s increasingly harder to find people who are genuine and trustworthy.
Being around people is exhausting to me, and that can’t be good for my brain either. So I choose solitude 😊
I definitely agree with you! I spend the majority of my time alone ..always have.. I'm NEVER lonely nor lonesome. It seems that no one is freaking out about spending time alone but nay-saying societal freaks (those clingy weak folks who cannot stand to spend a second alone with themselves.). The only way one gets to know thy self is to spend time alone with the self. Society has many people brainwashed about a lot of bullshit that's simply not true.
@@AlteredEgo-tq1sd yes! The extroverts are constantly trying to save the introverts. People with children are constantly talking down on people who choose to not have any!
The fact that so many ppl are clueless that we are NOT all the same, is baffling to me.
If I were to have ppl around me, those ppl would have to be top tier in personality, ethics, integrity, intelligence and character. Anything less won’t do.
I don’t have any social media except RUclips and sometimes I’m thinking what am I missing out on?? Absolutely nothing at all. Fake posts, fake people.
No thanks.
So until I find a friend or two who are absolutely decent human beings, I will choose solitude.
You just described me. Actually, mine was a celebrity. Today, at 35, people call me a loner. A lot has really changed. I think as one gets older, they become calmer, embrace solitude and shed off a lot of friendship.
@@jilokizito1705 yes I absolutely agree. I’m 39 and oh boy have I changed, and I absolutely love it. The confidence to choose solitude is something so liberating. I chose this, it’s not because ppl don’t like me lol
Imagine loving yourself and respecting your own boundaries and standards, you choose YOU over superficial, draining “friendships”. Not many are that confident and I thank God I’m not desperate for connections where I’m compromising myself just to have ppl around.
Another thing is finding someone you click with, but they have a large friend circle and they think that because you told them that it's okay to tell everyone else. If I wanted everyone else to know don't you think I would've told them myself?
I have more damage caused by people. Prefer to stay alone, have my own peace. People traumatized my head terribly. Since I'm alone I feel much healthier mentally and physically.
Thank you for understanding, people are disgusting creatures that only want to cause harm to one another
I feel bad around people and being alone 😢
Amen. Stay strong.
Perfectly Said
Couldn't said it better. All of a sudden I stayed away and everybody thinks there is something wrong with me.
I think it’s important for people to understand how to be “alone”, but not “lonely.”
Many times “Growth” requires isolation.
I think it's more that growth can require less distraction and focus on things that matter.
Getting away from toxic people and situations and, of course, this includes toxic positivity.
This is true
I know this to be true, however it's such an infuriating comment to read. It makes me irrationally angry that some people are so blessed not being alone that they actively need to seek out aloneness. As someone who's been alone for years I am envious at how ignorant people who don't experience aloneness are.
this. im mentally challenging myself every day and i purposely have to isolate myself to grow on the tasks i want to work on. However, i will say that i usually have to talk to 2-3 people most days of the week but i dont spend long periods of time with them. I think it's still very good to get out and socialize with people (sports, hobby meet ups, etc.)
Indeed indeed
Whatever damage is allegedly done by being isolated can't be worse than what evil humans will do if you give them a chance.
Bro go touch grass
@@kymma2589 bro get out of your ivory tower and see what people are really like
@@themobilemage2137I don’t think you know what the phrase “ivory tower” means.
@@evalehde3869 aren't you snotty. You obviously don't know many people if you think they're just wonderful 😂😂😂 Precious little overprotected trust fund baby.
This is so real
I was isolated as a child, and had issues. When I got older I was a social butterfly. The butterfly syndrome drained me! As an middle aged adult now, the best thing that happened to me was learning to be alone. I absolutely love it!!!!
A middled aged...
Especially when you're experiencing what I term, 'A Job thing', i.e. processing grief and loss when others don't understand, and will say the wrong thing, and/or have intentional ulterior motives. 😶
Wait! You join YT 16 years ago? Wow
@@Sbsjakehsbive been on youtube since the annoying orange fred days but my acc isnt that old but ive been on yt for 15-16 years
Being bullied from the moment I started school to when I finished it, never learning how to make truthful and honest emotional connections has complete ruined me. I'm 25 now and all I do is go to work and go home - my only face to face social interaction is at work.
Never had close friends, never had a relationship, starting to feel like it's just not in the cards for me but the loneliness and need for physical touch is killing me on the inside.
My son is the same... it's heartbreaking to watch him have no close friends...I feel your pain😢... how about going to a small local Church...you're sure to make friends there...all ages go.. doesn't matter if you don't believe...you can say youre curious...they should welcome you with open arms ...they usually want you to belong if it's a legit Church..
@svetapnantom Do you have anything you would legit like to learn about? Like some language, dance or any other hobby in general. If so, joining some group related to that could be a good steping stone: even if at first you feel too awkward to talk about personal stuff, you can keep your talks focused on the groups nominal purpose. Even if they find you weird and awkward, some people in these places tend to like explaining things to newbies.
The church idea is also not bad, but I would actually recommend a big one since you might feel more comfortable with the relative anonimity and socializing at your own pace. But also only if you have genuine interest in knowing about a religion.
I understand what you’re describing! If you only knew how many others are living the exact same experience yet feel isolated and unique in their misery. Trust me, as hard as you feel things are, submitting to the hopelessness is not the way to go. Fight against your current beliefs about yourself and make the efforts to be healed from the past. For now it’s easier to be passive and avoid the pain, but you must resist sliding into the despairing belief that this is all life can be. It will only get worse if you don’t take action.
Embrace it. Trust me when you get older you're gonna love it. You are in the best spot right now.
@svetapnantom You're not alone in this, i'm in a similar spot, starting to embrace solitude completely and making inner talks with myself work like a conversation to compensate that need of having someone close to share with, it was a self-destructive descent into almost a schizophrenic behaviour fueled by the spite of wanting to love more than anything in the world but feeling like wasn't meant to at this point in life anymore.
Would've kept following that route if it wasn't for one person that approached me and made me feel genuinely appreciated, i'm currently taking small steps into reintegrating into a normal life thanks to her. I still have a terrible perception of myself, most of the time there's been ups followed by huge downs in mood, but it really fuels my motivation to keep going having someone like that take the initiative so i don't feel like i'm forcing myself where i might not belong,.
Hope you can find the same kind of motivation in something or someone, for me it's love in this case, i'm completely aware i might be too late to form a meaningful bond with her but i really feel so thankful with how she treated me at first, that the need to show how much it helped made me step out of the isolation to reciprocate that affection.
Crippling social anxiety, poorly managed depression/OCD/ADHD, and the pandemic took the last seven or so years from me, and the enormous weight of realizing just how much time I've spent in a state of derealization/depersonalization just recently hit. I feel absolutely crushed, but also grateful for insights from individuals like Dr. Marks. Sending an internet hug to anyone reading this, who may be trying to pull themselves out of their isolation. We can do this.
feels like i wrote this. :) Been having these problems lately and it is though. Keep it up. Drink water, read and exercise daily. Get your protein intake aswell and we can do this.
can i ask what makes you make the connection to derealization/depersonalization? why do you feel that's what you've experienced while isolating? I ask as i have experience with isolation also and wonder if i'm often experiencing something similar.
YES WE CAN and just remember WE are still here
Me too. You’re not the only one ⚠️🐐
You have been diagnosed with all that?
I'm 68 and retired. Live alone with my 3 dogs and love it. Social media is destroying kid's sense of reality and friendship.
Pets are man's best friend for sure. They are loving and loyal and don't hurt you like humans do.
I agree
There are so many people who are either bullies, jealous, thieves, liars, backstabbers, gossips, tattlers, etc., it is really hard to socialize. It can be a lot of trouble or even dangerous in some cases. Loneliness is a problem but life is a problem. Finding the right people to spend time with. It's more trouble than it's worth in many cases. I like my privacy and spending time helping innocent animals. At least I don't have to worry what they're doing behind my back
As someone who's struggled to form long lasting connections: I've learned focusing my energy on myself, my hobbies and my mental and physical health has helped me to fill in the need to have connections. Sometimes I feel lonely but then I remind myself of the inconsistencies, drama and heartbreak that are associated with connections and I refocus my energy on myself
Have you considered joining a local church or volunteering for a local organization in your city or community? My great aunt was very active in her women’s garden club, a docent at a local museum, and children’s library in her later years. It’s a win-win for everyone. Or if you can’t get out of the house, there are video apps to connect with people all around the world to have random chats. Praying for you!
I was like this at first, but then I realized that I was just telling these things to myself to hide the pain, deep down I knew the truth. Believe me everybody needs good socials connections. It will fill that empty feeling in your heart. You will experience what I mean when real social connection happens.
Isolation is a gift. It is the freedom to set your own schedule and use your time as you like. People can be fun, but many are just awful.
Yeah, I'd much rather be by myself.
The rare occasions where I wish I had a friend is if I'm needing to vent about a problem I'm having with another person.
By eliminating the person, I eliminate the problem, and therefore don't need someone else as a sounding board lol
Speak only for yourself @@l3gendbaap963
I have social anxiety, and I've been isolated from childhood. I've always had the feeling that I'm getting "dumber" over time, but everyone shrugs it off when I try to explain what I feel, so I stopped talking about it.
Thank you so much Doctor, This means the world to me, it really does … at least now I can show this to people so that they take it seriously.
Hi, I feel this too! I've been socially reclusive from 14 to this day at 19 because I lost my only friends and never had one since. It made me depressed, I lost any interest in hobbies, going out, socializing and was at home all day watching YT. It made me so dumb. I'm in my first year of uni and it sucks. I feel like the slowest person there. And the guilt of wasting all those years doesn't help either:(
@@TheLegless101 thank you for advice.
So what, you can play the pity card now?
What will happen if you show it to people (they take it seriously??)
Take responsibility and start exercising, reduce social media and games to 3 hours a day, and start learning new skills, before bed you can read some fantasy story to sleep better.
Social anxiety is a symptom of a problem, not the problem itself
Deep journal if you have no one to talk to when you need to express your emotions. Journal your thoughts for as many pages as you can write, they shouldn't be written in a way for others to understand, it's just a matter of brainstorming your worries and anxiety on paper so that your brain finally relaxes and stops thinking about that stuff (helps because the brain feels like you don't have to remember it if it's on paper)
If you want better more concise advice than mine, start watching Hamza, and maybe Andrew Tate.
WARNING! Do not take pills for mental health, they ruin you even more. Therapy is just a place where you pay to be heard and get validation for 99% of people. A place where you constantly talk about sad things, so you turn even more nihilistic.
Talk about happy things, go with the mindset that you are happy, your brain will trick itself.
You should only go to therapy if you have some serious serious trauma, not just a place to vent.
Isolated from childhood, but "everyone" shrugs it off when you explain what you feel, are you isolated or are you surrounded by people?
@@SmoltingWassie he just FEELS isolated because he has imposter syndrome most likely
I absolutely love being alone. I need very little interaction with others. I’ve always been this way
I need the right people, to interact with.
I'm surrounded by wolves in sheep's clothing
Commenting on videos is interaction with others. Do you mean you like to live alone? But still have contact with people? @@dennismclaurin1487
Doubt you’re truly alone
@@hilarykoppen2776 not sure what you mean?
@@hilarykoppen2776🤔
I love being alone and it is the best thing ever because people are worse than being alone.
It is my way of life since childhood
I thought I was autistic…now I’m realizing it could very well just be the fact that I’ve been homeschooled and completely isolated from the age of 12. I’m 20 now. There’s a lot of damage to be undone, but now I can at least start socializing with the intention of repairing my brain rather than coming off as “normal” to whoever I’m communicating with. The new intention should make things a whole lot easier :)
I wish I was homeschooled. I forced myself to be very social and that was a waste of time and health. I didn’t know I was that unhappy until the pandemic, when I could actually isolate myself.
It means that unfortunately your parents didn't know how important socialization is to a child. That is quite sad. If somebody homeschools a kid, they must know that developing friends, through extra curriculum activities or other homeschooled kids, is essential. I wish you the best on your road to recovery, you will make it! :)
Have you considered joining a local church or meetup groups, or volunteering for a local organization in your city or community? My great aunt was very active in her women’s garden club, a docent at a local museum, and children’s library in her later years. It’s a win-win for everyone when it comes to volunteering since you get to do good AND meet new people. Or if you can’t get out of the house, there are video apps to connect with people all around the world to have random chats. Praying for you!
I understand your struggles. Some I am still working on to overcome. You are fortunate to realize the cause of your issue young. Good luck to you. It sounds like you are on the right path!
While I'm not about to badmouth homeschooling in this day and age, I understand you completely and it's one of the reasons I'm completely against the spectrum theory of autism. Having been diagnosed myself but reaching the same conclusions you did was... infuriating. I have less hope than you do, but I wish you the best.
I have been socially isolated for years on years on years. Brain fog is definitely a thing for me, not understanding what people are trying to tell me when they're speaking plain English, losing empathy (I generally care about people I know but I don't know how to give them what they need in interaction) there is very little I can do about that at this point, at this point I'd like to just restore the clarity I used to have as a teenager, before I dropped off the face of the earth.
Same my dude, same
I can relate to the brain fog part. When I was a freshman and somehow got friends this would happen a lot to me. I wasn’t used to conversations with people since I was basically mute in middle school. And ya I feel I’ve been losing empathy aswell. That’s why I care for animals more now. I just don’t like most people
seems you might have autism spectrum.
same😿😭
This sounds like autism to me, my friend!
I am a 68 year old man diagnosed with autism at 60. I recognize that I am also an introvert and in many ways, I enjoy selective isolation and do not want deeper friendships.
And I don't even believe I can have much of a deep connection to persons who are uninterested in bettering their mind and body.
As a lifelong depressive who strongly leans into introversion, I've found that more isolation actually increases my happiness. I especially feel better when my job requires minimal socialization/supervision. I can't refute any of the research driven points made in this video, as they're probably true for most people. But I'm a weird loner outlier. And I feel better accepting that than trying to be normal.
I experience relief and peace of mind when I'm away from others----for the most part
As an elderly man living alone and having few others with whom I socialize, I am quite isolated. Dr Marks highlights effects in the brain resulting from isolation that I certainly identify with…slower thinking, forgetting words, brain “fog” and fatigue. It’s alarming. I exercise, read, and get what interpersonal and contact I can, but I’m lonely and frequently depressed and I know my intellectual abilities are decreasing.
Learn to play a musical instrument.A guitar will allow you to play those feelings.
Yes, we need to actively do new things and meet new people. It’s difficult.
Talking to yourself consciously is good for you. Don’t get stuck in your mind, always gently bring yourself back to mindful awareness.
Intellectual abilities are overrated anyway
It's the human experiment. There's nothing "wrong" with anything your doing. Anyone who thinks they have answers to this game are to entrenched in "societal norms" and full of bologna. Day by day, it's all we have. Take care man.
Praying for you ❤
As a truck driver, this video hits close to home. Can you do a video on the mental health occupational hazards of certain careers?
Same here, working in maintenance can be so mind crushing
Especially the days when you have to be at work although nothing really happens
Thank you for this comment. I noticed someone mention the easy example without considering it’s everyday ppl who deal with this as Dr. Marks eluded to.
That’s such a great video idea. I wonder if there are good studies in this area.
@c22tch Great suggestion, I'll look into that and see if I see patterns with certain careers.
I'd definitely watch that video! Great suggestion ☺️
Good to see there’s people out there like me it may feel like we’re alone but we stand out
.....as social outcasts
@@dennismclaurin1487 💯
lol there's nothing special about this
"The Needle & the Damage done" (NY). The aftermath of the covid isolation is apparent . I could not visit my best friend before he passed away because I didn't take the needles and since then we have avoided all crowds and we like keeping a low profile from others except a few friends and family . The money saved allows us to buy better quality food , clothing ect . while shopping on line. The world has changed and do not like what is happening .
3:40 Education, social interaction, cognitively challenging job, brain activities (games, reading, playing musical instrument), physical exercise
5:06 Diet, sleep, self-care
Damn, reading and exercising is what I spent most of my time doing as a kid because I was so isolated. It allowed me to maintain high level performance at school despite social isolation. Crazy how the brain adapts and unconsciously knows what to do to counter the problems it encounters. Prayers to all the isolated people out there. Let's try and form connections people 🙏🏾
If you was Doing school online, then that makes sense. But if you actually went to a building socializing surrounding yourself with people, rather you talk or not, that's still socializing. So what you said would make 0 sense😅 Because you'd still be socializing and not being isolated, but like. I said if it was on the computer I understand but I don't know how old you are or what generation you come from. So I'm just taking everything at face value.
me toooooo i was like so obsessed with reading when i was younger and j exercised a lot, luckily i was smart
No.
thank you doc 🙏🏾
@@user-pi3fc1qt1l How do you manage to make a living in isolation? I have a lot of trouble fitting into society, and I can relate to most of what you wrote...I'm studying computer science as well. Thank you in advance.
As an introvert "high levels of social interaction" is not healthy for me, in fact it makes me feel awful. When I was younger I thought something was wrong with me because I was constantly being told you need to get out of the house more, travel, go to social events. The message was, if you're not doing these things you're depressed and something is wrong with you. I thankfully learned about introverts and realized I don't have to conform to society's beliefs that constant interaction with people is the best and only way to live, and I'm not a bad person. I'm sooo much happier on my own and I no longer feel bad about myself for being who I am.
Facts man. I put myself in so many toxic environments with the hope that things would get better and they never did. Got tired of making a fool out of myself. I think I’m kind of autistic or just don’t have a good brain. Prolly the same but she talks as if the brain can be pumped up like muscles. Every has their limits on what they can maximize.
Amen!
Well you trained your brain to do what it's doing now
Congratulations and hooray! There is nothing wrong with you. 💕
@@BecKintheBox Exactly. If socializing makes you feel bad it's most likely because you spent so much time isolated. I remember when I was younger I used to just play video games all day and then whenever I went out I felt out of place or awkward. It wasn't until I got up off my ass that I pretty much relearned how to socialize with out feeling immensely out of place. It's good for your brain to get out once in awhile.
Having a relationship with yourself is the best. Only going within we find truth.
🙏 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?"
Jeremiah 17:9 in
the Word of GOD 🙏
"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man cometh to the Father but by Me."
Jesus Christ's loving, SAVING words. John 14:6
ROMANS 10:9, 13
💜🤍💜🤍💜🤍💜
This is not church
I was neglected physically and emotionally my whole life. So I just trust like a needy kid and it’s human nature to destroy weakness. I stay away from people now, I just don’t understand why people are so evil.
I chose to be isolated. The less interaction the better for me. Infact this is how I pursue my life now. But I do realize that the more I tried to isolate myself, I can feel that I definitely get tired of interactions easily. It's been years since I had proper interaction with people. I'm afraid of getting too much joy from interaction.
Thank you for sharing.
Dont b afraid any longer
Kind regards
🤗
Autistic????
Why the fuck are you wearing a mask in your profile pic?
I resonate with this and live my life similar and not worried about it as isolation suits me particularly after dumping toxic friends
This happened to my daughter. She was a lively 11 year old before the pandemic. She is 13 now and has anxiety, social anxiety, and panic attack. We are trying to help her rewire things now.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Poor thing, I’ll pray for you
@@Jeremy-mu6cd thank you 🙏🏽
This same thing happened to my sister, hoping you can help her regain some sense of control over her emotions, mental health issues are a painful thing for all involved. ❤❤❤
@@SpaceWalkerReal thank you so much. I will 🙏🏽 for your sister as well?
These things are permanent.this video is being politically correct..the real scientific research shows something entirely different than whats shown on this video.the longer it is the worst....I'm telling from experience
I've lived isolated for 45 years, not everyone has a destiny to be with people, some people are born to be alone....
Damn
Valid 💯
If you had past relationships, you can get future ones
@@livingtheloop3539 not really I used to be a model I'm too old and hideous now.
No one is born to be alone. In fact, you aren't born to be anything. You just be.
Isolation showed me how to become more in touch with inner self through my inner dialogue. This taught me how to socially engage myself internally minimizing effect of external separation.
Through inner dialogue and using your phone.
But ask yourself without a phone who are you?
Depression isolation for 5 years, even before COVID, has seriously damaged my brain. I've felt it. Thanks for doing a video on this. I regret not pushing myself out there more before so much damage was done. But after a long time of feeling constantly suicidal, I am finally realizing not only can I fix myself with God's help (I have to give Him the credit, I would not have survived my attempts without Him), but I WANT to. I want to get better. I want to and I can. I can be there for myself. I can be okay. If you're still in that dark place, they were right. It does get better. You can beat this. Take your meds, take a shower, brush your hair, don't give up. Don't brush me off. You will see the light on the other side of this tunnel. Even if you can't believe it yet, don't let the words leave your heart: I can. I will. Praying for you all. Thank you for the likes and lovely responses. I am touched you have all opened up to me. It's very brave. I know you can all get better. God bless. 💜🙏
I feel ya!! I literally had my own emotional global shutdown 2 years before Covid. I guess I’m ahead of the curve! 😂😭
I feel it too. I go to do something, and by the time I've walked to the other room, I've forgotten what it was and I have to go back to remember. This happens all day every day.
Did you have a job during the depression or isolation? I’m just asking because I don’t hangout with people anymore, but I’m still cool with my coworkers when I come to work.
This is an elite comment top to bottom.
Hoping to convince her if having live group
I’m going to say this. If you’re not already socializing then there has to be a powerful reason why you’re not already doing it. It doesn’t help to be told that we need to stop isolating ourselves. What we need help with is how to go past this isolation mindset.
Ty well put
THANK YOU! 👏👏👏
💯 yes
Literally. These videos always make me feel bad but I isolate myself becasue my past relationships (friendships, family, whatever) have all been super toxic to me. During the time I’ve been isolated I have stayed sober and made positive changes for my diet and there is no way I could have done that with my family or old friends in my life. I think people isolate themselves to grow and maybe when the right time presents itself we will find healthier and better relationships than ever before.
I think the answer is find like-interests. Play flag football or join a plant collectors club.
You are an amazing human being, touching on topics that no one talks about which shows how much effort and time you spend educating yourself to educate us. Thank you
YOUR free RUclips videos have been an incredibly important part of my daily progress. Finding a good therapist is an extra hard challenge beyond finding one at all due to schedule availability or lack there of.
I have to sincerely thank you for your regular entries.
I love being alone. I’m an introvert and I feel nervous around people, I’m shy. I had to many bad experiences with people. Being isolated is beautiful to me.
you might also check if you're on the spectrum
I do get anxious and shy but depends on the environments,
Can relate to your comment
I’ve become addicted to being alone. I love it. Everytime I try to go out or hang with friends the only thing on my mind is how I can’t wait to get back home, put on comfy clothes, wrap myself in a huge blanket and watch The Parkers.
Always a relief to get home! 🎉🎈🎇
It’s because you have friends to hang out with. I hope one day you know what it feels like to not have a choice.
@@chisomudeze7706 that is a horrible thing to wish on anyone. this one knows that pain. it needs humans and humans want it to go away.
I really only interact with family, pets, and co-workers, and honestly, that's good enough for me.
The quality of your mental health education Dr. Marks is unsurpassed. I learn so much that helps me in my personal life and in my work with other people as a coach. ❤
Social anxiety guy here, like many people in this comment section I assume. When it hit, when I was around 17, I did the first thing I suspect anyone does when confronted with this: I isolated myself. Of course it was a downward spiral from there, I dropped out of college, lost all my friends, went through constant anxiety all day long and frequent panic attacks. The fact I was a fairly popular kid constantly surrounded by other kids only served to pull me lower, the comparison with the "old days" (which felt like they were from another life entirely) was killing me, I kept chasing that image of my former self, while I was... just not at all able to be the same person anymore. My self esteem was annihilated, I ended up not even being able to follow a conversation, feeling like I was crazy, I'd let myself starve for days because I couldn't muster the courage to get some groceries. This total isolation lasted for 5 years, which I would consider totally lost if I didn't learn english during that time, at least there is that. One day, I went to see a psychiatric nurse, she offered to take me in a psychiatric clinic for a month, in which I was forced to interact with others. Just that, proved I was still able to interact, to get others to like me, and this was the begining of my journey to healing. This was in 2017, and the healing is still an ongoing process. Over two years ago, I accepted a job at the frontline in a post office, directly welcoming and orienting customers. I saw it as a big challenge that could allow me to move forward, didn't allow myself to overthink it, just said yes. And so I started working, completely untrained, thrown right away into the lion's den. The first months were terrible, I didn't know what to do, what to say to customers, I'd go back home oftentimes feeling humiliated, out-of-place and exhausted. Since then, at the begining of this year, I got promoted. Turns out people think I'm very outgoing and chill. Don't know where the hell they get that impression from, but I'll take it. Still working with the public, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. It allows me to keep going forward. I ditched my very toxic two friends that I had, I started working out, recently took a big interest in hiking too and had the chance to meet a group of very chill people a few months back who turned out to share this interest too, and we regularly go on hikes together when our schedules allow it. Planning on going to a mountain hike together that'll last a few days soon. I'm doing better. Still struggling with anxiety and unhealthy amounts of stress on a daily basis, still have highs and lows, but I'm okay, overall. Today is a low, as was yesterday. Feeling anxious and stressed out, which might be a good time for me to take a step back and reflect on how far I've come over the past years, which would explain the damn wall of text I just wrote. Watching this video reminded me of these times where I was constantly fumbling on my words, couldn't even finish a single sentence. I was so miserable, alone and sad. Godness that was tough. Had to build myself back up essentially from the ground up, and I might as well try to become a better person than I was, that too is an ongoing process.
To everyone who suffers from social anxiety, I want to say it gets better. Hang in there. That's what I clung onto when I felt at the lowest of lows: it will get better, eventually. Oh, and when you feel something's getting out of control, remember to breath, as calmly as can be.
Hey man, this helped me, thanks :)
Hey bro. Your story resonates with me. I was having depression and panic attacks at age 15. My parents do not how to handle it. I always got the blamed. Like you, I chased and prayed for my former self, former life to comeback. I cry so hard everytime I see myself at the mirror. I was a popular kid, top of the class, Mr. President chuchu. A lot of people expected I would achieved greag things in life.
Yet, here I am now. My body wakes up in a tired mood. Idk why. The back of my neck just feels so painful. It has been at least a year since I went to self isolation. I gave up.
I just celebrated my bday last sept. 10. I wanna die. Truthfully. I wanna undo all the memories the world have about me. I wanna slap and punch my irresponsible parents, for abandoning their duties or at least coaching me on little things about life.
I always wonder what went wrong. I did everything to make my parents proud, but they did not even bother to ask me why I am crying. They only talked to me when I am already throwing things out, and causing them embarrassment to the neighbors.
I hated my family. I wanna flip my life or just die. I always dreamed about the life I had. How happy I was. Perhaps this is the signal for me to stop?
All I want was someone to talk to. Someone to hug. I begged for it to my parents. None happened. Kept explaining things to them. None happened. I hated them to the bottom of my soul. If there is a deathnote in my hand, I would write all their names.
Life was so hard for me since little. I worked hard everytime just to put myself to school, and in college. Yet pandemic happened and my depression came back. None helped so I gave up. I am so angry and infuriated over the fact that I did the duties of my parents while they are lazying their life away.
My rage, perhaps, is the only thing that keeps me adhere to this funereal flesh. I lost my touch.
Idk how you are right now nor would I know you'll be reading this, but just know I appreciate your story.
im not reading allat
@@theyhatedenzel5163you missed out- was a great read!
@@theyhatedenzel5163lol
I have forced myself to live in SOLITUDE. Being “socially isolated” has given me PEACE! No more drama! I want nothing to do with society! I love the SERENITY that I have created. No stress, no false expectations or hypocrisy’s. Living SOLO, avoiding fake people is better than absorbing the BS that you are exposed to! KEEP YOUR EDUCATED ADVICE! Words matter. The word ALONE, is a word that feeds and justifies a void, a sadness, no purpose.
The word SOLO.. is a choice, a person who is not co-dependent, a person who is in control, a person who is an observer, a person that knows that their Greater Power is always with them!
Correct
True words right there
Yeah whenever people come into my life they don’t reciprocate energy thus ultimately dragging me down, I’m open to having people around but I’m not forcing it that doesn’t make things better it makes it worse!
Wouldnt it be a good idea to find good people instead of making yourself sick with isolation? Ive met some great people the last three years who are wide awake to all the bullshit.
No! If you get sick from isolation, it's because you don't like yourself very much. You'll never sort out a problem like that when you're surrounded by people, you're just hiding from yourself. @@sandrashane677
I am going to recommend this video to all my colleagues at work. It is brilliant. Dr Marks you are a breath of fresh air. Thank you❤
I don't go out of my way to avoid people; I enjoy authentic interaction. But if I have to change who I am when around them in order to be accepted I'd rather be alone.
This. I have not met but two people that genuinely like having conversations AND let me talk about my interests without immediately changing the subject and shutting it down as I do listen and discuss their interests too. I can't stand talking to people who only want to gossip negatively or insult others, especially people I never met because they can't defend themselves. There's so much in this life to talk about, it pains me that most people would rather spend their energy on tearing others appearances, weight, and personalities down as the main focal point of any conversation. Space, the ocean, new scientific developments, anything in the world except gossip and negatively talking about other people would be great for once.
Beign "isolated" might not be the healthiest option for people like us that like to be alone, are introverted, or just don't feel the need to be around people to feel good in general, but still, being around people often brings its own problems too. Stress, anxiety, expectations or having your inner peace messed up by other people are equally serious problems as the ones described in the video, in my opinion at least.
I share this opinion, it's been much healthier for me to stay away from people, perhaps because I don't have a lot of great people to be around, but still, better. Being in spaces I didn't belong in wasn't helping me long term, I might get endorphins from the interaction, but the effect it has on my self-perception, my ideas, what I'll tolerate, what I won't tolerate,...people 'train' you to be a certain way if you hang around them enough, but if you're on your own you get to decide who you are.
@@ebbyc1817 Exactly. There's a fine balance to keep between being with people and being alone, to maintain your integrity and personality. Still, I believe that learning to be enough for yourself is a really key aspect people often overlook.
It's a way to cope. You never really know what someone's true intentions are. Finding healthy people to be around is exhausting and definitely comes with risks of its own. Plus people change.
The dilemma....
Being isolated is being trapped in an environment that ceases to change. People who like to be alone are capable of that change. If you're isolated you're trapped with NO ONE at all. No connections whatsoever.
It was truly heartbreaking working in a nursing home to see how the elderly folks were barely encouraged or accommodated to receive mental stimulation. Of course they don't want to attend activities - they are in pain, they are exhausted, and their generation certainly never learned about neuroplasticity. And by far, most places do not do enough to reach out and teach other humans because they are 'already' in 'a state of decline.' As if people don't deserve mental healthcare through the end of their days. I felt like a crazy person for being scolded for trying to take a resident on a walk outside; this type of care seemed so intuitively obvious to me. Dealing with depression myself, it quickly became too much, and I had to quit from empathetic burnout in less than 2 years.
You were unaware of how NHs work. No place for people who want to do a good and humane task. You are fighting a frightening business model.
God bless you for trying to help people who have the misfortune to end up in a skilled nursing facility. Their lives could be so much better if the businesses would increase their staffing ratios a little so staff would have time to perform these deeply meaningful acts for their patients.
The theory of neuroplasticity was formed in 1948. By the 1960s it was mostly common knowledge. Even before the aspect was discovered then given a name, it was known by many.
Just as people have known for a very long time that tobacco, when used as anything other than a poultice, can cause disease, many would start or continue to smoke it or chew it. My gr grandmother was staunchly against tobacco usage for anything, she knew.
She also lived in goods health past the age of 100, was very sharp minded until the day she died.
Funny how if you dont post a comment with an idea or puffing smoke up her arse it gets ignored... I totally agree, nursing homes are a place to die and that's wrong on so many levels, we need more community engagement, school and college input and better government input with pay. In the UK theres a Tiny bit of social care funding and then its sell their house to fund the rest... careers are on minimum pay so get minimum care (especially when they dont get fuel allowance and UK fuel is ridiculously shit and no Grant's for hybrids or electric because we left Europe and are shit anyway) not saying that's the right attitude but below national average low pay attracts alot of people with no skills who csnt give a shit because they're not paid to. Polar opposite to Japan and their elders
thank you for trying, it's a Lot more than Most people do. those Old-age Warehouse's are Holocaustic and a Disgrace to "Humanity" as we use to know it. Would never call them a Home
Wish I could find a Dr. or Psychologist like this woman!! Amazing!! First time watching her content!!
GREAT DOCTOR , she explains everything in a simple clear way
This explains so much. When I went back to school after the pandemic, I thought I was slower in everything, as if I was getting dumber each day regardless of how much I studied. And socializing? It was almost impossible. Even though I felt (and still feel) profoundly lonely, I didn't know how to make new friends.
It has improved recently, I've gotten into clubs and participated in activities, which I think has helped my mental clarity, but talking to people doesn't feel natural anymore. All interactions are superficial and feel fake :[
Thanks Lord for your peace
Thanks Lord for the lockdown 😛
I completely relate to what you’re saying- and now that I’ve graduated college it seems even more challenging to form genuine connections with others
Your last paragraph hit me hard. I'm Brazilian and I feel absolutely the same, it's like I lost the faith in me, or have lost, but only now I'm aware of it, so I keep on thinking all the time if the other people are also aware of the efforts they're doing to socialize or if it's coming about really naturally, and meanwhile, time is passing by and I'm not answering the person properly bc of all this thinking, then later I regret everything I said, which makes me want to less and less try to socialize again 😓 it's a looping
@@nunes_6maybe practice your social skills on those video chat apps with people all around the world? It could help you exercise those social skills. It’s like a muscle. The more you do it, the stronger the bonds and relationships you form.
You're missing out on a whole life of social drama.
I socialized way too much in my life and realized I was super unhappy. Just in the pandemic I realized that life could be incredible, because I could actually isolate myself 😂. I’m so happy now, knowing that I’m the exception to that rule.
How sad
@@xEcuador1 that’s actually not sad at all, I’m super happy now
NOT SAD AT ALL. SALVATION!!@@xEcuador1
Love that phrase, "Stay curious". Depression had me lose interest in a lot of things and people. Always sad even in the brightest of days. It felt like drowning in an ocean of negative thoughts and I can't seem to resurface for air. I'm scared of what it's doing to my brain. Thank you for this short yet informative video.
Thank you. I needed to run in to this. Love your work.
As an introvert, I absolutely LOVED the isolation. Not sure if I could do it for more than a few years, but a solid year without socializing did wonders for my mental health!
Ditto. But I believe now the party may be over with this information the Dr. Is giving us. 🤔
Agreed! It was like heaven on earth for me too! 🙌 Don't really want to get fully integrated back into the pre-isolation phase of life either. 🤷🏽♀️
No more going out, pretending and masking in front of people. That in itself was a stressful experience. It really is about finding the balance you need as an individual imho.
I don't know man, at first I thought I had been "training" my whole life for that time, and then I started talking to myself and losing track of time. Even introverts need _some_ interaction.
Yes this is true. We are all different and this video is brainwashing people to be in fear of being with self.
I love that you didn’t necessarily suggest interacting with people, but suggested learning new things. Presenting the mind with new data for new stimulation.
I have ADD and I suspect autism as well, and so I am a social disaster, so learning new things or doing puzzles or whatever is right up my alley
I’m on the autism spectrum, and one of the things that helped me a lot was learning another language. After gaining competency at the conversational level (as of now I’m near-fluent) I rewarded myself with a trip to a country where that language is spoken, and found the people to be warm, friendly and happy that I went to the trouble of learning their language and a few things about their culture. They knew right away that I was a foreigner, and I felt really awkward at times, but I think they figured it was due to cultural differences and they didn’t judge me negatively for it.
Just a thought as to some things you might consider, eg breaking out of your bubble/comfort zone a little at a time
I wouldn't survive without youtube and discord
So much the same. I have craved isolation my entire life but love reading and learning new things.
❤
@@devilsadvocacycool.
Short, simple, to the point. I love this content
I'm french and I listen your video to improve my oral comprehension, it's good 'cause you speak slowly and you articulate
Im 22 and im very introverted because of my past trauma. I've been isolating myself for years. I tried to be social and go out with people everyday after 1 week I gott mentally exhausted. I'll feel so bad afterwards that it affects my sleep and eating routine. I've notice that I don't pick up things as fast when I was younger. My brain has become very slow even when it comes to problem solving. I'm bad with words, having difficulty to explain certain things. It feels like I'm aging faster and it terrifies me.
I feel exactly the same
Go therapy, please please please. You're young enough that this problem is much easier to fix. Also, the stress you're giving yourself is making things far worse than they actually are. You're still super young, everything will work out. Trust me.
Pls check out crappy childhood fairy’s channel on healing trauma. She will tell you how to do daily practice that she recommends for free. You can heal
First start to exercise..
Go out or take a walk
If ur a guy don't watch porn or masturbate.
Get engaged in activities and avoid being home..
Try go to club one day not to chill but just be exposed to the loud music and euphoria of people there..
Trust me u will be normal within one month..
Survey for autism, in my case it has explained my wellbeing with alone time.
thing is, making friends as an adult is impossible. especially if you’re not part of a couple or have kids and the friends you did have are all too busy with that and you need to find people you can actually relate to and spend time with which makes things even more complicated. makes me wish humans still lived in like small little groups like they did long long ago
Yes. In a small group, everyone is aware of all the others, and any gain or loss for one is a gain or loss for all making everyone important.
I recommend starting with finding people who have similar interests to you! C:
You can start by being the change. At least when you go out, like shopping, be more slow, relaxed, and aware of the people around you, instead of hyperfocused on the errand. Then you can better interact with others by being that way to joke or chat.
Also, we used to have that small group feel more in small towns and the events theyd have, and extended families used to stick together more. Try to start reunions or potluck events!
Being around people worsens my depression. I even feel more alone and mentally exhausted when I interact with people. I really prefer being isolated, and I actually enjoy being alone. I feel more calm, safe, at peace, and less stressed. Even receiving texts from family and friends makes me feel overwhelmed. I have always been very shy and introverted, but my social anxiety has gotten worse as I get older, but it has started since childhood.
Back when I was in 2nd grade, a teacher told me to stand up and go to the chalkboard to point at the right answer. She had previously asked a question to the class and then wrote multiple answers on the board. When she said my name and asked me to go to the front of the class, I froze and didn't get up, I couldn't speak. I was so afraid. I nodded my head to let her know I didn't want to get up. She then insisted and said that it didn't matter if I chose the wrong answer, but I was so frightened and didn’t get up, just kept nodding. She then said she was going to count to 3. After counting and seeing I was still sitting, she came over to me and grabbed the chair desk I was sitting on and threw me to the floor with me still sitting in it. I started bursting into tears and couldn't stop crying. I was having uncontrollable sights and gasping for air. I don't remember what the teacher said or did after having her Karen episode. I only remember getting out of class when it had ended and as I was walking, the teacher from the next classroom approached me and asked if I was ok and said that she heard yelling and the disturbance, but I don't know if she said something to the mean teacher or if she reported the incident. Probably not, but if she did, the school didn't notify my parents. I didn't tell them either for fear of getting in trouble. I was terrified. My dad used to hit my younger sister and I with a belt and leave bruces. It was painful and many times for insignificant things like jumping on the bead.
Anyhow, all that happened around 1980. We were living in Chicago at that time, and the school my sister and I attended was a Catholic school named St. Procopius. But in 1981 we moved to Mexico but sadly school was not going to be better over there. I was bullied from 2nd to 6th grade by students and my 6th grade teacher, neighbors, and even strangers. The reason.... religion. My dad was a catholic but only by name, he never went to church. B😢ut my mom became a christian and she would takes us with her. We were living in a small town where eveybody knows everyone and the grand mayority were catholic, but not normal religious people, they were extreme fanatics. Many kids and grown womens would yelled at us insults while walking on the street, it was crazy. We always ignored them and kept walking. Not once did we respond. Going forward, 10 years later, we returned to the US when I was 17🎉, and we have stayed here ever since. I'm now 49 years old and have several health issues, chronic illnesses including immunodeficiency, so I had to stop working, and it has been tough. My husband works, but he doesn't make enough for all the hospitalizations, procedures, and medication bills. We bearly complete our rent and yet don't qualify for any assistance because 60,000/year is way over the limit to qualify for disability. I don't go out anymore, don't go anywhere except to Dr's appts. In the last decade, I had several nervous breakowns, and some happened while I was at work. I couldn't handle the pressure from demanding supervisors, and neither could stand anymore the harassment, bulling, and rudeness from some co-workers. In a way, Im glad I don't have to interact with people and crowds anymore. Home is my safe heaven. I live with my husband, my 26 years old son, my 16 years old nephew, and our 2 year old female dog.
Sorry for the long comment 😬
There are many commenters that are explaining "why" they isolate or the reasons they don't want to socialize. This presentation is not about why you isolate or the reasons you may feel lonely, it's about how to heal or regenerate your brain when you're experiencing isolation for long periods of time.
When I left college and lost most of my social support and quickly became depressed, I found it much more difficult to do mentally challenging work due to how sad I was. Pretty sure I'm still not at my full mental capacity potential because of the continuing isolation and depression. We need to do better as a society and have more IRL social outlets for adults out of college.
Exact same experience for me 😩
I understand.
I definitely agree. Mental health is just as important as physical health. It is sad that it is so taboo to talk about it.
So true
Same happened with me.
I grew up in normal social environments but as a young adult chose isolation.
Now im older (36) and still totally isolated.
Honestly it has come back to bite me.
There were times where I chose to walk away from people
who had an interest in me, but now I really am off anybody's
radar and it is kind of scary. It is hard, nearly impossible, to make
friends now at my age.
Trying to get in touch now would feel like loneliness or desperation.. maybe pride.. people change as they get older
@@adamloveless3576
yeah im toast no more coming back.
I’m similar at 37. People don’t get that it’s hard and confusing to get out of this situation. I feel like friendships aren’t very valued nowadays to adults and it’s sad.
@@aquarius1986
they are not. Even young people today are totally isolated. Something has shifted in society that people do not appreciate each other anymore.
@@matisyahup613 Yeah and sadly I find myself becoming that way, because I feel like every time I've tried to make friends with someone I really liked, they didn't bother to keep up with me. Starts to make a person jaded.
Rock solid info, im new to the channel but i live now you've presented this info in as informative but simple format as possible❤
I love being alone. I'm fed up of controlling people who try to own me. They are everywhere. But I own myself, no boss, no government, no significant other half will ever own me. That makes life a perfect bliss.
I noticed you didn't mention pets and nature. I got stuck living alone in the woods after husband left. I do not have anyone I see regularly. I can go for weeks. I make long trek to town once a month. Been here for years. I do most of the good things you mentioned like vigorous excersise, piano, educating myself but also find the company of pets, trees, other animals, plants to be very comforting. I do have to disagree with one point that was made. Isolation has made me a more compassionate person. I meditate and have had more time to read about human psychology so have come to understand that everyone is fighting some kind of battle. Use to think many people were just jerks. Thanks for your videos!
Yeah, this video doesn't seem to apply to introverts, LOL
That is such an awesome life, and yeah i totally agree, isolation can be a real gift if you do it the right way. It's pretty obvious that sitting in a room all day everyday DOING NOTHING is gonna damage our brains.
Yeah, it may need to be a bit of everything? Cities are also insufferable and deliberatly crammed to feed the colonial capitalist, marketed consummerist agendas and with noise, let alone when at home and you get spontaneous noise from neighbours, like doors slamming and also from cars?
@@shripadgoenka8066 Yeah - Solitary will absolutely induce insanity, HOWEVER, isolation is healthy. Learning to be alone is healthy...
@@wetter4293 I think it's about getting the balance right; As a human, we need social interaction as much as we need solitude. We need to be connected to other humans just as much as we should be connected to the world around us. Being in peace with both these aspects of our life and being happy with them, in my opinion, is the ideal perspective. :)
As someone who can never fit in anywhere, I kind of have no choice, but to chill at home and do my own thing I kind of have no choice and I love it. I’ve been like this, my whole life.
Tracey, great that you focused on the solutions.
If we build a growth mindset, we can tackle any challenges that arise. 💯
With one video, you might have saved my life. Reminding of the principles for my mental health and focus.
I am a high school student who has been completely socially isolated for the past 2½ years since the beginning of the pandemic.
I have had brain fog, depression, anxiety & a lot, lot more.
This is just what I needed. Thank You So So Much!❤️
How are you NOw?
Same.
This is normal for a person your age where you are supposed to interact. Overall in life, social interaction is less important and does not have the effects she claims.
If you socially interact with toxic and dysfunctional people, the negative effects could be even worse for you.
It’s really unhealthy, especially for young people who are still developing.
As a person who went through neglect from a narcissist family structure i can concur that these happen and that the way to protect yourself is exercising, learning, socializing with others, puzzles, and mentally challenging work. I feel myself decline when I can't do those things so bless you for validating me
People will say all this then still vote for politicians who are pushing for more lockdowns and masks
when a narc takes over your life, believe me, you will be too distressed by the abuse to do any of these things, living on edge and fear does that to you unfortunately
@@realAfrican facts
Dr. Marks, thank you for the high quality of the information you share.
My pleasure!
After hard work and decades of social contact and a form of decay, silence is everything. Solitude and individual choises are bliss!!
I absolutely love social isolation. I’ve built my life around it. True it can be challenging at times and I do find myself seeking a change of environment. But that’s ok. I don’t think it’s possible or practical to be in complete social isolation 100% of the time. But I do feel it is healthy to practice it just enough to rest and recharge. Modern society is psychologically taxing.
Id rather be lonely then fake anyday
Don't forget god loves you. If you truly try to reach him and just trying your best to Abstain From the world and get closer to him he'll work in your life more. Also never forgot the holy spirit is always by you side and your angels are around you fighting to protect you. Don't stay asleep and confined to the world but wake up and truly live in the spirit fo the Most High. May you be blessed in all endeavours you partake in. Stay prayed up.
@@stefonvarnedoe4375stop it please
If you have enough negative experiences with "friends" and "family" then being alone feels pretty good.
Relatable
I’m happier on my own tbh don’t have to deal with peoples’ constant drama, it’s much more peaceful. Isolating myself from society has been an absolute blessing 😌
I get your point but when you will need to start interacting with people then you’ll realise you’ve lost a lot of social skills and this will start troubling you.
@@speedoflight3395 you are right but I worked on my social skills and associate with others as much as I need to which is not a lot and now I’m not caught up in other peoples’ negativity now. I keep people at arms length and it brings me peace.
@@wonkygustav4457 I know what you mean exactly. Although I would love to be able to socialize and have a small group of friends… There’s so much drama that goes along with everyone. Stupidly I haven’t given up Hope on people…all I want is a friend. 😢
I like being on my own most of the time but I've been basically solitary for a couple of decades and I've experienced everything mentioned in this video in a big way the last ~5 years. I need SOME social interaction, maybe an hour per day or something but I can't really acquire it.
@@cockoffgewgle4993 why can’t you acquire it?
This video describe myself at 100% I feel exactly they way you talk in first 3 min of the video. I am 35 years old and I feel anti social for last couple years. Thank you for the video I will try these steps to try improve my brain. This video is really helpful and encouraging. God bless you.
I’m thankful for the video and comment section, I thought I was alone in this world. Not that I don’t like being alone, I thought I was weird or something for liking to be alone a lot
I have terrible social anxiety. I feel uncomfortable and awkward around people. And it doesn’t matter if I I don’t actually do anything wrong, I’ll find any aspect of the interaction to judge myself harshly about. I’ve always been a kind of a loner but I am very lonely and can’t suffer much more.
It's gotten very bad for me compared to past. I am being like a deer in headlights even during commute, taking a public transport
I reckon you need to come out of your comfort zone at some stage..Id suggest try going to small local Church with a family member.. why?....because the people are mostly lovely..warm and welcoming plus they will usually approach newcomers so they will initiate a conversation.. you will make friends there who won't judge you and who knows..you may even learn about God who heals us ..if you don't already🙏
I was totally socially isolated from the age of 9-15. I’ve spent the years since trying to recover but it’s not easy.
Didn't you go to school?
@@danielwells774 homeschooled probably
@@danielwells774 Some people didn't have the structures in their lives growing up that many take for granted.
Not everyone has access to a school environment, whether this is because of forced isolation caused by controlling family/guardians or for less malicious reasons like living somewhere so remote there simply are no schools.
Some kids grow up isolated because their peers want nothing to do with them (kids can be cruel), others have such severe anxiety they cannot handle levels of interaction most people consider the norm.
Lotta ways people fall through the cracks both today and throughout the ages.
My family was basically a cult of doomsday preppers, so I grew up in an extremely closed social environment. No friends, no peers, no school, limited contact with extended family. No internet access and rarely left the house. Books were the only real way I gained access to different narratives and ideas about the world, and those were in most cases extremely restricted. I barely made it out of there and to this day I struggle a lot to adapt to a world that doesn't match up with my formative experiences. It's extremely hard to interact with others when you've gotten accustomed to being alone, harder still if you were ingrained with the beliefs that others want nothing more than to hurt you or that you aren't worthy of anyone's time.
To any others entangled in situations like the one in which I grew up, I'm so sorry. Know that there are people on the outside who care and there is hope for a good life outside those walls. Your future is not defined by these circumstances and there are so many wonderful things to see and experience that are well worth surviving for. You may not yet be able to imagine finding meaning or happiness for yourself, but those will come in time. Don't give up, you have a lot of good discoveries and healing ahead!
@@Noahdaz I was raised in a cult/religion known as the two by twos. I broke away about 3 years and now consider myself agnostic. We were "lightly" homeschooled and didn't have nuch formal education. When I was 9 we moved from where I was born and raised (I loved it there and was happy) and basically had no social interaction or internet access for 4 years. It. Was. Awful. It still is pretty bad as we live rural. The internet (another huge source of frustration because rural internet so slow) is where I found differing ideas. It's my information source and where I basically have 90% of social interaction outside of my immediate family. It isn't the best but it sure is better than nothing. I was suicidal at one point. I am scared for the future as I am not in a position to move out but definitely don't want to stay as it feels like it is killing me and my spirit.
@@danielwells774 Ostracization frequently happens in schools, you're lucky you weren't a target of it
WOW. You packed in a lot of ideas in 6 minutes. Well done.
Thank you for this clear, concise, and well-presented video!
Over the years I have learned that I absolutely LOVE being alone. I am happiest when I am alone. Of course with the exception of my wife and kids, I freaking love isolation and being a lone ranger. It's the best. I even keep my phone on silent so I'm never disturbed.
I absolutely refuse to over exert my energy dealing with people. I only deal with people when necessary. Deal with people too long, they’ll find way to exploit you & take advantage of you.
Right? That's the fate of the people that are too honest to live in this rotting planet
There's nothing more destructive than the rotten human spirit of those who think all is well with their soul
Excellent video, I feel the isolation since the pandemic, and working from home now means that you never see your colleagues. You never see people or have a conversation because you are alone all day working at home. It feels so isolating, boring, lacks purpose. Having alone time is great but when it's all the time you need a break from it. You need social interaction, you do literally forget how to socialise. It's a different world now and because companies have stuck to home working, not because of COVID now, just because it saves them office space to rent.
This psychiatrist lady is helpful and appealing in a multitude of ways
Soooo.... I'm in danger of getting Alzheimer's because I'm very very introverted and a little bit of a misanthrope and I self-isolate all the time and still want more isolation! I don't believe it! My brain hurts when I have to deal with people too much.
I grew up socially isolated as a kid. I was “homeschooled” too. I do have a lot of siblings but other than my family i had no to talk to. Occasionally I’d have my grandparents or other extended family come over but that was about it besides going in public and meeting kids at the Walmart gaming section. I learned social skills when thrown into public school but the damage has been done. Being alone feels safe and relieving yet at the same time like a curse. I want human connection, but I also fear it.
Every kid, whether homeschooled or not, is different. My kid was homeschooled for 4 yrs, he loved it, i loved it, it was the best 4 yrs of my life. He interacted with his friends after school with no issues. hes very social today also.
You had me at Mind Wondering, and confirmed my subscription at Social isolation. I'm listening.
Thanks for perpetuating a cultural/social stigma. Some individuals are just that, individuals who do not wish to conform to social pressures of XYZ. To assume there's damage from that choice, whether forced or not, we know where your head is at.
Been by myself for 7 years no friends no family no significant other. I like being by myself and I feel like you don’t waste energy on short term people it takes a lot for someone to be in my life because I like my solitary . A lot of people are fake.
As long as u balanced it’s all good
A lot of people definitely feel fake.
A person is the most dangerous thing on the planet.
I don't understand being so nonchalant about having whoever around.
Same. Very few people are worth knowing - and those only for short periods at a time!
I used to have a social battery that was basically endless but after years of mistrust, bullying, and being made an outcast throughout highschool I started to isolate myself more and more. Apparently most of this came from my "strange behavior" (which turned out to be early signs of depression) I was ignored and treated like ass simply because I was depressed which... you guessed it... made me more depressed. I'd love to get myself out there and build social connections again, but even now I'm having trust issues for personal reasons I'm not willing to divulge. Hopefully things will get better for me, and for others who're possibly experiencing the same or similar things like me sooner than later. It's very hard to hold onto hope and keep on going.
I’ll give you an advice I wish someone told me sooner. 1. Find something you’re passionate about and go for it at full speed whether it’s through College or entrepreneurship or even starting a family. Friendships are overrated and 9/10 if you’re not on your purpose people will take advantage of you and bully you
I find it unlikely for me to trust anyone, when the false ( treacherous; deceitful) Christs and false prophets are spreading their gospel
Mat.24:-5,11,24 is happening now!!! (+ 1TIM.4:1,2: 2 Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30)
I appreciate the information and will start on a productive path to recovery. ❤
I have been isolated for 3 years. Never been better. Allowed ne to learn so much. I dove into myself. Any situation can be good or bad. It depends on the clarity of mind. I now have access to bothe sides of my brain.
As an introvert I thoroughly enjoyed the lockdowns although I acknowledged that generally it's not good for the society, but of course in the case of a pandemic, necessary. I spent almost two years as a hermit and it was really difficult to start living more "normal" life. I had a severe social anxiety and I'm still struggling with that
It was not necessary. It was a disaster.
@DarkPrince07 hence the quotation marks
Same. I actually love meeting and getting to know people, but best only in small amounts. One on one, or small groups. I get overwhelmed easily, and it is just too difficult trying to stay in touch with many people. I like many, but most don't seem to have the patience for me to stay friends. It seems only those who strongly share the same hobbies or are wired the same as me can. I did feel relief and less stress during the pandemic, but now its difficult for me to want to start to go out to things again to upset the self improvement and healthy routines ive been trying to build.
I loved them too! I was an online student when we locked down in NY so I just applied for unemployment and continued school until I graduated, then I applied for an online job that paid about minimum wage. I just existed in an insular little world where my rent couldn't be raised and I didn't have to interact with people. I did yoga, went for walks, read books, watched a lot of tv and movies.
I loved the isolation from the pandemic. No traffic , empty stores. Didn’t have to see people. Loved it
It felt like heaven shopping in empty stores, driving on empty roads and having excuses to avoid answering the door.
Yes! Also wearing masks everyone complained but I loved it lol, was my excuse to hide/cover up
It was taken for granted low key
@@I1K5 right, I honestly feel bad admitting I was grateful for those times. I wouldn't tell anyone.. Ik people died and I would never want to be insensitive and disregard the pain caused; but what those times did for my introverted/isolated/insecure self. Oh man only a select few can understand 😭 truly the definition of bittersweet.
Sure but if you have this kind of life for the next 10 years you'll suffer immensely.. anything extreme has its consequences
Thankyou doctor.
This was very helpful and thorough
Thank you Dr. Marks! I am currently in nursing school and I believe you are spot on here. I am excited about entering into healthcare and I plan to write a paper on the changes in socialization that have taken place since Covid. I believe there are going to be very negative repercussions in the future with the younger generation becoming so comfortable with anti socialization and what affect this will have on society in the future. There will be far less people willing to make careers in areas that require social interraction with other human beings such as healthcare and education. I am really concerned about what will happen in the next 10 to 20 years as a result of anti social behavior.