Become a true leader with my Leadership Gems 💎 Weekly Newsletter. Join over THOUSANDS of Leaders who are enhancing their skills and making their abilities impossible to ignore. Join here: www.mikeashie.com/Newsletter
Say there ..., Mind if I ask you a few questions if you don't mind but..., 1) In your opinion, What Percentage of people use profanity, And , What percentage dont, and why, 2) Also, dose it bother you to the point that you would get tired of it, And , 3) Now if it were up to you, would you do something about it, to change it ?
That's because toxic people are normalized, and professionalism is not taken seriously by the majority of people. Inevitably they get promoted, and then you deal with this once power dynamics have been introduced.
They're usually subtle... passive aggression that can infect the workplace - frankly they're weak on self management, always leveraging off others for energy...it's pathetic.
Not just weak on self-management, but also totally fake, empty and shallow deep inside. Moreover, they not just leverage off others for energy only, but at the same time for ideations, contributions, etc., knowing very well that they themselves are not creative, skilled or talented enough.
My current manager is very subtle. The first two months I started she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when we had a conversation. she makes me so uncomfortable that I’m so anxious when I’m at work.
I was in a double bind with my toxic boss because the better my performance was the more jealous she got of the praise I was getting from others. She would take it out on me by restricting who I was allowed to talk to in the company and would belittle me in meetings to show her power. I got out. Couldn’t win. I was damned if I did well and damned if I failed. I literally had to ask my coworkers to stop complimenting me ☹️
I'm dealing with this. It's being set up to fail the catch 22 do a good job no acknowledgement then nitpicking over the most minute mistake. I started feeling like the place is setting people up to fail & recently was told by a coworker that's worked there for yrs they started getting that feeling too that they are deliberately setting up employees to fail. That has helped me to put things in proper perspective because I never told anyone I feel like the company is setting employees up to fail I kept that completely to myself. Here I'm thinking we're basically on the same team it's about being as productive & as efficient as we can be & they are deliberately putting obstacles in employees way a lot of gaslighting is in this environment gobs of it. Turnover rate is extremely high & it's the voluntary termination. A lot of manipulation going on.
I believe this is a thing in large organizations with a lot of established hierarchy. When there is a team member who can get things done in a more cost effective, efficient, and innovative way there are OG’s there bogging everything down because you have to pay homage to all of their seniority by maintaining the status quo or letting 900 people weigh on everything… Someone always feels threatened and finds a way to undermine an up and comer. It’s the epitome of group think and it squashes passion and any intrinsic rewards for being creative and competent for folks who bring fresh perspectives. My antidote to this is to go the self employed route. It sucks when you are a fast learner but are told to stay in your box and grow slower than you’re capable of.
Toxic! In one of the meeting with my boss she literally told me after 18 years “you’re not here because you deserve to be . You’re here because I have allowed you to be here”. The many years of abuse have literally made me question the universe. I’m 50 years old. Starting over does not feel like an option. Praying for all of you with the same fate
I'm in the same boat as I am over 50 years old and have been with the company for 20 years. I don't want to start over, and who would even hire me due to my age? I feel I'm just screwed.
Don’t lose hope. Last year I interviewed a man in his mid 60s for an analyst role I was filling. He brought lots of experience and great energy to the interview. I gave the green light to be interviewed by my VP before drafting an offer and he was picked up by another company before we could even schedule the next round. While ageism definitely exists, if you bring experience and good energy you’re way ahead of the competition. Seasoned candidates are a gift to the right hiring manager.
That is crap! I’m in my late 60s and I will be moving away from my toxic boss/workplace as soon as possible. You can do it! Get the book “Ask the Headhunter” and move on! What a horrible woman.
@tracya8007 You don't have to start over, just be patient and start a side hustle in other words try another source of income while you still in your job anything that you are good at and you do it with little effort is a talent or a gift, use it to earn extra income so if push come to shove you will be still earning money in the meantime do a course outside your job description example online earnings, weekends or something extra in the evenings, think about it I'm doing it right now
I'm going through this hell right now. I don't want to quit and my only way to deal with the whole situation (favoritism, gaslighting) is to be patient, stay under radar and wait for my boss to be transferred to another store one day. Minimizing contacts with his favorites is a big help to surviving too.
@@tinamallin2570Truth! This favouriting certain coworkers is alive and well in my workplace. I’m secretly hoping one of them decides to leave. Divine timing!! 😅
So same! Ugh! I went from being unfairly fired by a horrid Narcissistic boss to 3 months later getting hired at my new job and now my new boss is showing HER true colors and has begun micromanaging me. I KNOW its not me, I've been in healthcare since 2005 and have always been fortunate to have kind managers and at the very least tolerable coworkers. But it seems things took a turn after 2020 cause it's been toxic workplace after toxic workplace. Its a friggin nightmare and I wonder if now I'm just a magnet for these types? Idk I can't reflect too much cause apparently I'm off to job hop YET AGAIN sigh
I am being micro managed then asked how will I show the other staff I’m a leader. I have been there 2 weeks and I am expected to be a leader…..this is a 18 month contract
I don't know why we don't have laws to protect the common worker from this nonsense. Yeah, we have commissions and unions, but they only apply to certain states and commissions hardly help at all.
I agree. I have a supervisor that is always verbally attacking me and one other person. The crazy thing is majority of my coworkers are black or mixed race. Only two of us are white. And the supervisor is white. But she will only attack the white people.., it’s crazy. All my coworkers have noticed. We have just chocked it down to her being insane..
If your boss is toxic don’t be excellent and go above and beyond - they will never be satisfied and will just press you more and more. Do what you need to stay under the radar and use your time and energy to look for another job asap!
I stayed for months cos I love my job. He said I had to learn his way and mind you only his way no way but only him. Ridiculous as it May seems, but I’m willing to learn and be open mind to learn his skills and unlearned mine to adapt his version and I succeeded months later and did well according to him. Mind you it wasn’t easy to change nor easy transition and daily criticism and scolded publicly every single day. But Im glad I made it and was looking forward for better days and soon to be one of their permanent employee. Never expected one day, i was called by HR and I was informed its time to confirm my permanent spot and yet to be given any feedback from my boss so I need to follow up. Little did I know drama awaits me thereafter. I was called in more frequent than usual. It wasn’t a good sight to others. It felt like I’m back to school days. The job wasn’t difficult but is the person that’s making it difficult. Hence, they concluded I will be laid off or I can choose to resign voluntarily to avoid bad review on my paper. I wasn’t given reasonable explanation I was adamant and it got ugly after that, I was convinced I done a great job privately behind the scene, but was severely verbally bashed gaslighted publicly and during HR session i was severely traumatised and mentally emotionally drained succumbed to gaslighted drama and documenting everything to proof my actions and presented to HR but to no avail. They rejected my appeal and I had no choice but to leave.😢
I’m in a situation at my work place. I’ve decided to stay working for a toxic boss for 4 yrs now. I knew who she is for a while now and there have been sooooo many time when I wanted nothing more than to walk out. So many other people have while I’ve been there! But I couldn’t afford to just quit so I stayed, I tried to reframe, I tried to look at and focus on the positives and while it helps me cope I can only hold it for so long. A recent incident brought me to my breaking point. I can’t allow myself to keep going through this! I’m DONE! She’s out of town this week so I have a little peace and figure out a new job so when she’s back, I can finally put in my notice. Wish me luck 🍀
Your mental health is all that matters. Maybe start your own business, it can boost your cv. I truly wish you all the luck should you put in your notice.
@@sigmawolf7898 Going through that right now. Sorry that you had the same. I'm nervous, but getting pumped about the next chapter in my life. Rooting for you! 💪 🙌
Doing everything right and I know I do one hell of a job cause my dad taught that in me never half ass anything do it right the first time and I’ll never have to go back . Boss favors a guy who should of been written up way befor me she took all my supervisor status away meaning I have no say so everything goes through boss and still except me to improve told her I took everything that I was comfortable with and made it uncomfortable if it’s about ur job I went to the hire ups reigional on. My case more then just one also have witnesses who say they micro managing
I had written proof of all events with my toxic boss when I was questioned. Still I lost. Nobody cared what I had documented. They didn't even care to look when I presented them. They just shook their heads. The decision was already made.
My current situation. The more competent you are the more work you get on your plate. It’s such BS because the dumb dumbs still get the favoritism and rewards.
A toxic boss will not be appeased so going above and beyond will just get the most insecure of that boss type targeting you to keep you in your lane. You should want to do a good job to win allies and gain influence to go around them. The best defense is to not let them get you out of character.
I made the choice to leave that environment and it was 100% worth it. I am me again. Happy bubbly wanting to be around people. Vs just going to work and home and not wanting to do anything
My boss bullies by proxy. She’s toxic because she listens to gossip then brings it to you. She’s insecure and the more you shine, the more insecure she gets. She constantly lies and is inconsistent. Anytime you have a good day, you can’t get comfortable because she will soon put you down with awful “false feedback.”
Exactly. And most of the time you’re (meaning people in general) are not TRYING to outshine e anyone. The BEST efforts are being put forward and insecure people can’t handle it. Or they may think that you want their job. It’s crazy.
Double whammy for me, I’m being bullied by my immediate supervisor and his boss. I chose leaving, life too short and they’re not worth my mental health.
I wish I could do that,Had the Main boss on my back the other week over another issie,She called me through again the 2nd time,Dale can I have a word please,I went through,I telling her what been going on,She back lipping me and talking to me at the same time,Also had the same problem of the other Manager,Back lipping,Means when two people talking both at once,How that gets problems solved,Also found all that rather RUDE as well
I change jobs maybe once every two years, so i have mastered the exit strategy. Most often, I leave because the environment is too harsh ( lots of cussing, gossip, bullying, heated exchanges), and the government tends to have the most toxic work environments, in my opinion. My recent position as a federal employee is making me seriously reevaluate this work thing, and i have been seriously considering self employment.
Excellent advice Mike. Number one goal must be to find a way for YOU to survive. The toxic boss and HR departments are not concerned with your health or well being. I have been so wrapped up in thinking about my career, about the company, and about my boss that I forgot I was tearing my body and brain apart trying to be everything to everyone. Thank you.
Had one Toxic boss in the past. "He micromanaged every day and almost just get my hand to do the work how he want it to be. Worst thing, he yell at you when things is not on his expected way.".
I'm a nurse and I have a good eye for detail. I notice little cues that indicate the patient is in danger, and so far, I have been right 100% of the time. Whenever I tell the nurse manager about the danger, she will turn it around on me and say I'm trying to get the team in trouble. I absolutely do not care about the gossip culture. I do not care about the drama. My SOLE RESPONSIBILITY is preventing the patient from harm and suffering. Often times the danger comes from things being missed. Just yesterday, a patient began to bleed into their abdomen because of a surgical error, and because the wound was not monitored or documented-on by the previous shift. If someone gets in trouble, I don't even think about that part. All I care about is the half gallon of blood pooling in the patient's abdomen. Yet I'm the bad guy for having found it and having prevented further complication and even death.
What's even worse about toxic managers are their insecurities. They just can't stand the fact that people who are junior to them in rank, or who simply report to them, can be more skilled and/or talented than them. Such constant insecurities displayed by some managers are what makes the working relationship all the more "toxic".
It doesnt help when your new job require your boss as a reference. I was offered a job, but they had to talk to my boss first, even though I had good references. Im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
I’m sorry they hurt you. This is the opportunity for you to take your power back. Do multiple things to improve your own self-esteem never put it in the hands of anyone other than God, and the very healthy people he will put in your pathway.
No feeling is final ,feelings are not facts, this happened FOR you NOT to you. I hope you can reframe re see and rethink this situation you benefit !!!!
I was going to quit the other week,I thought If I quit my Job to early,Don't really want to regret it,Wont regret it no more,Enough is enough now,Be cracking up next
The people at your former job helped you in some regard: they showed you how sh!tty they were, and, that they didn't deserve your time and effort. It's like that at my current workplace, and I'm looking for something better.
I'm 70. I work PART-TIME. The amount of poison directed at me on a daily basis feels like a tsunami. The company I work for is awful, but they were the ONLY employer that would hire me. In my eight months, 7 young workers quit with zero notice. Others acted insulted when paid $16 hr with NO experience. America is over with and I am saddened more each day.
I found out secrets, being homeless. I think. But me thinking big is ummm. If I ever start a business on anything I don't feel like I know that much about anything and I'm prob already making up excuses for myself but entering that kind of territory is like I can't even conjure up that many thoughts on how to. How to hopefully be successful (enough..) w/ out losing my head 🤔. I just wanna live like bobs burgers 😋. I'd never hafta walk outside. Or barelt
About that point "excel at your work", because it makes my toxic boss look good and me less of a target. Bad advice. Terrible advice in my case. My schizophrenic, narcistic boss doesn't even understand that context how my work makes her look good. She has an utter misperception of reality. No matter how hard I work, I remain the target.
I'm in the same place but my advantage is that I have a lot of visibility with the great work I'm doing with other top architects... He wants to shut me out of meetings with the powerful people but I don't let him... and they keep directing all their questions to me because they know I'm the guy who has the answers and does all the work... He absolutely hates me. He'll probably try to fire me soon because he sees me as a threat but I won't make it easy.
Document, keep your cool, and the grey rock method works like a charm. Don't respond to anything unreasonable and document. This way you will protect your peace, and they will eventually sabotage themselves. Remember, your boss is being watched more so than you!
I started a new job it’s been 5 weeks. He doesn’t like me talking to the head of our department acting very insecure he reports to him. He is very rude and has anger issues. But I like the job. Shall I leave ?
@@gurugamer8632 I would say weigh out the pro and cons. If the job is for the betterment of your career and lifestyle, then I would not let some fool stop me from my purpose or position. You may have his job sooner than later anyway. Protect your peace!
Absolutely fucking true. They make u feel like they’re ur buddy and then try to turn the other against you then say they’re “just joking” when u stand up for yourself
Most bosses need to be held accountable for their actions and send to a therapist. Idk why they think they can just project their misery onto others and think it's ok to abuse others
This is great advice. I’m without knowing doing all this. I keep my head down, deliver the best quality work. Try to stay ahead of the drama my boss brings up. I also don’t tell anything negative about my boss to my coworkers. It’s extremely hard but it is what it is. I love this advice. Taking it one day and a time is my approach right now!!
Evrybody just so toxic nowdays,I can't keep count, how many jobs I walked away from in the year of 2023,I just quit one,as I'm typing, not letting nobody stealing my joy.any sign of toxicity I'm out of the door.im a nurse it's easy for me to find work.
At a job i was at, this one guy got promoted to management after it was known he got two employees pregnant at the same time. We were speechless. Everyone's mouth drop when it was announced at our meeting.
I wish I heard this before I quit. I had 3 of them absolutely toxic and evil - team leader/ line manager and operation manager- all of them playing together. Absolute disgust honestly, I had to look for a mental health and still I am working on myself . What was more disturbing is that HR and company policies are not there for you, they protect the bullies. In my case I had to run from a job that I really enjoyed doing only because of them. Oh yes, forget to tell that there is no law to act agains bullying too…. So no help from nowhere whatsoever….
I think that only works if you're on the boss's is good side. If you're not on the bus is good side then you're damned if you do and damned if you don't and you're going to be chased out eventually
yep, had to deal with a toxic boss in my last company. the biggest give away was that i often felt uncomfortable around that person, i had to watch every word i said, and it felt like i was walking on egg shells. i didn't feel that way about other managers i had worked with at that company, nor do i feel this way about people at my current company.
Toxic - when I figured it out, I started writing everything she told me to do on one of those school notebooks. When she denied telling me to do something, I brought it out and she never did it again.
This is hands down the best advice I have watched. You nailed it. I work in this circus every day. A total Freak show! In order to keep a mental balance, I wear one pod in my left ear playing scriptures ( God reminds me what not to do, the flesh is weak) , so that the right ear taking in the garbage does not send the wrong message to my brain. My motto every day is head down, mouth shut until they deliberately drag you into their drama and you have no choice but to defend yourself. The sad thing is that when normal people join the company and then realize the freak show they are in, they begin to normalize the environment and take part in the behavior because they have bills to pay. I am the rumor on the gossip mill, (which the owners/management love, as they rule by favoritism not performance) because I do not engage unless I am asking for information to do my job, or saying "good morning, good evening, or good night".
Very wise to listen to the gospel. I have to pray on the way to work that I don’t lose my cool and say things I will regret. Jesus is always looking out for His children. I always keep in mind that one day we will be in glory with Him and this will all just fade away. God bless you
A toxic boss will destroy your life. Sleep deprive you. Micromanage you. Berate you. Instruct othets to mob you. And bc of the power imbalance, they destroy you
I put in my resignation yesterday. It's one week but I had to do it. I'm going on vacation the following week, which will become a little bit of a work vacation. This is why you always keep a 2nd and maybe even 3rd income. I have been working a part-time weekend job since the holiday season of 2023. I'm also able to sub if need be to pick up more slack. If you don't see a real future, then let it go to keep your mental health. It's just not worth it. I realize that I will never have peace until I have my own business. My vacation will be utilized to plan. You're always going to have haters in the workplace. Some people are just miserable and will do anything to bring others down, if you let them
My last Mgr was toxic. She destroyed my reputation thru lies and gossip. She also had a coworker harass and bully me in front of all my coworkers. Thankfully I’m no longer in this job 🙌
6:32 You do want to document everything so that if HR comes after the toxic boss, you can help the company get rid of him. But that will only happen if someone above the toxic boss complains first. If you volunteer the documentation, then HR will ignore the evidence and YOU will become the target.
Sadly, this happened to me. I brought documentation to HR to report my toxic boss & in the meeting (with my boss present) they flipped the entire meeting on me & it became about my performance as an employee. They completely dismissed everything.
@@HisExcellencyx Managers never say what they mean... except when they yell at you in the office with your supervisor present. The Supervisor quit the next day... never saw her again. I knew the manager wanted me to quit, that's why he was quiet firing me, but I resisted him at every step. Pissed him off good. He was transferred to another store because a PhD therapist reported that I shouldn't be returned to the same environment. I got fired by his successor. The story is much much longer. But I've bored everyone enough. lolz Thanks for replying.
@@HisExcellencyx You said it. I hold no hope in getting hired. Employers see me and my size and instantly think I can be the heavy lifter they've been looking for. My c5-c6 disk is gone and I'm 57... doesn't seem to matter. Now, I am trying to deal in rare stones. Wish me luck. lol
Put a friendly coworker (preferably senior in rank- ie., supervisor or manager in another section) as your contact and brief them about the possibility that they’ll get a reference call about you. Because a bad boss will give you a poor reference and will try to destroy your future opportunities. Also, HR is NOT on your side - they only care about the company’s image and in protecting management and the structure. Junior staff can be replaced and simply aren’t valued.
You can set boundaries in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "no" in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "don't" in a polite manner and I am absolutely sure you can ask your boss to send his requests in an email, yes, "black and white" instead of writing stuff down that can be easily thrown out. This is not fighting at all. To be honest this doesn't do much if nothing at all in a situation like that. Especially if lines are being crossed and lines will be crossed with a toxic boss. Based on experience and I have done what you said 10 years ago, you'll set yourself up to be taken advantage of. With anyone who is toxic the objective is to "put your foot down" In a polite manner I'm sure. That's how you realize you have power you thought you never had. Because living with anxiety has taught me that the only way to through is to stand up.
I’m in hell working for a toxic boss and she’s the company owner. The only thing keeping me from quitting is that my salary is extremely high for what I do and I need the money to support my family. I have an exit strategy and that’s to start my own company. I’ve already registered it and now just need to do the legwork of getting clients. I pray every day that I can leave this job and never work for another narc for the rest of my days.
Toxic - had a boss who disliked honesty. I made the mistake of being honest. She targeted me so hard - I’ve that place now. She was manipulative, a liar, gaslighter, would get colleagues to report back to her everything and anything I said. It was hell. Constantly giving me her work which would remove me from my own work and destroy my stats. She was sick alright.
Toxic: all the points mentioned in this video matches exactly to what I am facing with that person right now. It's mental stress and nightmare. I figured this out and was left shocked and frozen. I suffered a lot. now I am going to watch other videos to get clarity if the whole workplace is toxic or is it only one person. It's close to a year now with this guy and in my career this is first time I experienced this.
Toxic is toxic. Even if we can prove it and that person is reprimanded, they become vengeful and even more passive, and the environment becomes even more hostile than it was before you said something. Best just to leave.
Thanks for your video. It has given me the clarity of how to take things into our control. I am going to make this trauma in office as a spring board for my future. At the moment I am not sure what it would be but I would not let the toxic situation in my office spoil my life. As a first step I have decided to quit smoking and look forward for a healthier life. Thanks once again.
Do yourself a favor and don’t go to HR. HR is NOT there for the employee. HR is for the company. They will always protect the company. If your toxic boss in the position they are, it is because they know how to sell themselves better than you. They will sell to HR how it is not them.
After a toxic session, I go back to my office and email my wonderfully toxic little man, stating, "Thank you for meeting with me today. Just to be clear with your expectations, you wanted me to do a, b, c, d, etc." Now you have a record email for your file. If they answer, they may just fix what they were saying, or they may not answer, which means you just clipped his wings. There is always a way to protect yourself - well, almost always.
My boss likes to yell out peoples names at random to get a rise out of them resulting in people starring. Feels demoralizing says he just likes yelling out my name sometimes it’s confusing if he’s yelling for me if he needs to ask me a question.
Filing a report to the state labor board, filing a lawsuit, quitting, baiting them into firing you without breaking the law or making yourself ineligible for unemployment (when possible). Works for me.
Thank you for the advice, my boss hates me, his calling HR on me for a second time in a row. I’m so sick of this, it’s never ending. I can’t leave since I don’t have any job lined up and need this job to pay my bills. 😢
I have a toxic boss now. He says things like man I wish I would have hired someone else. He also will take my employees that are under me sitting in my chair and say you'd make a better manager than him. Things like that all the time. Gets very upset when he has to teach me the same thing two or three times because the way he teaches is very hard to comprehend what he's trying to teach me. Just very difficult person to work for
@@LeadershipwithMike problem is I moved 600 miles of my family South to take this job. It was a promotion in my company that I was already with and I love the company. This man just does not want to give, you make me push my workers to the point they want to quit. I understand because I was my employees just a year ago. It's been a little bit of time for him I think you forgot where you came from so I always seemed like I'm buffering between him and them just taking the brunt of the hit and constantly being pulled down by him
Reading the comments, now I know why I have no energy and just want to go home to do nothing! It’s amazing how stress at work can affect your health! My current boss is toxic, sadly have had toxic bosses in the past and none of them are as toxic as this one! Have worked with him now for 6 years, 3 of them him being my boss and dreaming of the day he gets the boot! Getting tired hoping this and wondering if I should leave
I was a 'rising star' at my company..My sponsor encouraged me to join her department and have her manager (ie. His team) train me. Big mistake. My trainer and manager have gossiped about me to others behind my back and unbeknownst to me now have my sponsor believing their lies as well. It hurts and I feel so alone. Looking for my exit now. I hate going from being labeled a rising star to now a dud on a PIP due to his "leadership"
Incredible that so many people around the globe are going through the same crap. And so many people will mental instability/jealousy/ extreme insecurities are in management positions. Just crazy. I hope everyone finds the employment where they belong and where they can be long. Lol. Blessings to all. And those evil bosses and/or managers, may they get whatever they deserve.
After 3 yrs in. I’m finally am about to get out. Definitely continued to do the job and yes it’s burns me up seeing her taking credit for all my work, however, now that she knows I’m leaving she’s crying making promises begging me not to leave she’ll change, all bc the person that makes her look like they’re doing their job is finally leaving from the abuse, unexpected. It suck’s bc I have to take a step down, however I know I will work my way up again and I’m finally can be free and gain my peace, mental health and control back
Thank you for this had 15 minutes of no self worth after a gaslighting at work before realsing and getting my head clear. Went searching for help and advice and has validated everything. Along with the support of my coworkers really really helped me get out of a terrible head space. Thank you so much. I will be sharing this video. ❣
I’m working for one right now and my life is miserable… it’s a catch 22 all around . It’s a family business and the son is just out of control and no matter what I say or tell the owner he does no wrong .
Man it would have been nice if this could have been my reality at my last job. My toxic boss had created an environment where it was an authoritarian system under his control and approval, so much so that before the time I was there he fired/got rid of the HR team because he felt it was an annoyance. It’s a long story, but it appears that was worse than a toxic work environment. May I learn the skills to serve my future no matter than space, and have healthy boundaries went interacting with the toxic ones!
We had a coworker once who was ready to be fired by a boss who has been described as vindictive. So she was ready to say what she really thought of him. His response before she quit or got fired was. He laughed and then said I make the big bucks now
It sucks when your manager turns everyone against you. She tells them to not talk to me or ice me out. They do it. I'm singled out and not sure why. I quit once to go back to my old job but they were no better so i got hired back at my first job and they all acted super nice so i would not leave. Then they went back to treating me bad. They all lied to me ugh
I’m going through this right now. I’ve been at this job for 6-7 months and he’s told me that “ I will not get fired because of you” and “I haven’t dealt with situations like this since you got here”. Today he said I was storing data in my phone… and I’ve had enough. I have to keep focus, stay positive and let things play out. I don’t want to leave, but my peace of mind is everything to me.
I recently discovered that my boss hired me intending to help him forget the woman he almost left his wife for... After putting in hours of my own personal time researching more about my job and getting heavily invested in it, this is what I get revealed to. I no longer have the care or pride in the job. I never stay at a job just for the money and this is a prime example. I've been in leadership positions before and it takes a certain mentality and personality to be a genuine boss that helps employees feel comfortable working for. The job-hopping train is getting old, but I'd rather go back to that than work for someone who projects their personal problems onto others. My time is too precious to spend in the shadows of another person's unresolved struggles.
I have a toxic boss and didn't even realize it for a long time. You mentioned like 5 things that fit the description, and he has little man syndrome. Thanks for helping me realize what i must now do.
Going through this now. But I refuse to leave to make her happy. I know she's jealous of me because of my work ethics. She's trying so hard to push me out. Then minutes later she wanna talk to me like we're friends lmao I'm like OKAY I peep game "HEYY, GIRL HOW YOU DOING TODAY " I can play the game too. She will be out before I do ❤❤❤
Same to me girls.. My boss she is jealous and never compliment me. She just called me when i made mistake. But when im improving my self she didnt care. So i guess she is just toxic and narcistic. She hate if everybody in the office admire me. So i can feel it. I resign
Companies who don’t value their workers are slowly going down hill because people who would have once stayed and put up with the disrespectful treatment are realising they don’t have too. Which is why a lot of companies that don’t treat their employees with the respect they deserve are having trouble keeping and even finding staff to hire. The workers that keep them in their high paying jobs are getting sick of sacrificing themselves and their own health to keep the business and management that take them for granted in business. I for one will keep walking away from companies that don’t respect or appreciate my great work ethic. They are loosing good workers they need to keep their company going by under appropriating and devaluing them as human beings with wants and needs of their own. Some companies are a wake up to or have been all along treating their employees with common courtesy respect and genuine gratitude have a low employee turnover. They are wise enough to realise they need the workers to run a business. The happier and more valued the employees feel the more successful the business. Happy valued workers are good for the company’s success. If they can’t see ur worth shame to them.
It's the assistant manager at my job. She has created conflicts with a previous employee who felt no choice but to walk out. Then again with a brand new employee training, telling this employee if she's short changed that money will come out of her pocket. Now with me, she approached me after I was clocked out, shift over, saying goodbye to a fellow coworker, the A.M then approached me and chose that moment in front of staff to tell me going forward I can't continue on with new tasks until the previous tasks are completed. Confused and frustrated I tried to explain how busy it was (definitely not a good idea on my part).... mind you I was clocked and at that point no longer in the store but standing on mall property. She is now taking me to HR...
I told my boss that I will be looking for a new job if the situation carries on the same in our department. Short staffed and orders not going out of the door. We've since had two more people set on. Wouldn't worry me one bit if I had to leave as like you say, I'm in control.
Without a doubt. In fact, I have found that one of the best things you can do is do an email to reiterate what you and your toxic boss discussed, however irrelevant it may seem. If you do this, it can never be denied. It also makes your toxic boss prick their ears up and realise that they gad better be very cautious about what the do or say to you.
I’m dealing with someone who has been told they are going to be my boss, but they are not yet my boss. But have been making my life hell and I’m ready to leave the company I’ve been with for 7+ years.
Toxic...called numerous times to her office...bunch of known bullies in my department. Started documenting every little thing that could be misconscrewed and sure enough she brought up something on it. I read back exactly what happened. Even went to administrater of clinic on her numerous times...she finally retired. Adminintrater was supportive and kind to me. Other people in the clinic said she either liked u or she didnt. The stress if it all probably led to me getting cancer after that tho
Toxic.Currently dealing with one and emailed her boss and felt good as now it was out.Heading was “feeling undervalued”.Got the usual corporate blab of needing to discuss with her firstly.Now I have an email trail and going to point out thing’s,that I need help with and then have copy and write my responses as well as hers .Then forward it for her n her bosses for his catch up about me with her☘️.Sad but can’t have a coffee off record anymore as things get twisted.Thanks for advice as I keep telling myself “It’s business and not to take it personally 👍
While I understand what you are saying, if there is someone else who is already the golden child in the group, then you can do the most perfect work in the world, and it won't help. This happened to me. My boss already had a person who worked perfectly and who my boss needed. That person is now silently doing all the work in the group and working about 180 hours/week. Meanwhile, I was put on PIP which, at our company, is just the excuse to get rid of someone. HR is there to protect the company. They don't care about employees. They made that clear with several employees that were there. In most toxic situations, especially with a direct narcissistic boss and/or toxic leadership, the only thing you can do to get peace is leave. I'm now with a company that is not toxic, and with a boss who is the polar opposite of my nBoss. It took me a month after I quit, to find that new situation. For me, it was the only answer.
Become a true leader with my Leadership Gems 💎 Weekly Newsletter.
Join over THOUSANDS of Leaders who are enhancing their skills and making their abilities impossible to ignore.
Join here: www.mikeashie.com/Newsletter
Say there ..., Mind if I ask you a few questions if you don't mind but..., 1) In your opinion, What Percentage of people use profanity, And , What percentage dont, and why, 2) Also, dose it bother you to the point that you would get tired of it, And , 3) Now if it were up to you, would you do something about it, to change it ?
It’s insane how common this has become. Having a toxic manager has a huge impact on our mental health as well
And the mental effects your physical
That's because toxic people are normalized, and professionalism is not taken seriously by the majority of people. Inevitably they get promoted, and then you deal with this once power dynamics have been introduced.
Crazy how it’s legal unless it’s discrimination. It’s no joke people end up suicidal over toxic work places they are stuck in to collect a check
Yeah you telling me...
( They make you freaked in the head , because thier freaked in the head themselves🤪🤪🤪🤪 )
@@ryanbarker3978 Big facts💯%
They're usually subtle... passive aggression that can infect the workplace - frankly they're weak on self management, always leveraging off others for energy...it's pathetic.
This is exactly it. The subtle passive aggression then favorable treatment of a few others makes me feel incredibly gaslit at times
they pretend they care for you, but they just enjoy hot and cold treatments, they view you as a toy
Not just weak on self-management, but also totally fake, empty and shallow deep inside. Moreover, they not just leverage off others for energy only, but at the same time for ideations, contributions, etc., knowing very well that they themselves are not creative, skilled or talented enough.
My current manager is very subtle. The first two months I started she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when we had a conversation. she makes me so uncomfortable that I’m so anxious when I’m at work.
@@elexuswhitaker9401 Believe me I would get the same subtle / silent treatment , from my supervisor as well ( that jeckle and hyde persona... )
I was in a double bind with my toxic boss because the better my performance was the more jealous she got of the praise I was getting from others. She would take it out on me by restricting who I was allowed to talk to in the company and would belittle me in meetings to show her power. I got out. Couldn’t win. I was damned if I did well and damned if I failed. I literally had to ask my coworkers to stop complimenting me ☹️
Common
I'm dealing with this now. It's an awful situation to be in.
I'm dealing with this. It's being set up to fail the catch 22 do a good job no acknowledgement then nitpicking over the most minute mistake. I started feeling like the place is setting people up to fail & recently was told by a coworker that's worked there for yrs they started getting that feeling too that they are deliberately setting up employees to fail.
That has helped me to put things in proper perspective because I never told anyone I feel like the company is setting employees up to fail I kept that completely to myself.
Here I'm thinking we're basically on the same team it's about being as productive & as efficient as we can be & they are deliberately putting obstacles in employees way a lot of gaslighting is in this environment gobs of it. Turnover rate is extremely high & it's the voluntary termination. A lot of manipulation going on.
I believe this is a thing in large organizations with a lot of established hierarchy. When there is a team member who can get things done in a more cost effective, efficient, and innovative way there are OG’s there bogging everything down because you have to pay homage to all of their seniority by maintaining the status quo or letting 900 people weigh on everything… Someone always feels threatened and finds a way to undermine an up and comer. It’s the epitome of group think and it squashes passion and any intrinsic rewards for being creative and competent for folks who bring fresh perspectives.
My antidote to this is to go the self employed route. It sucks when you are a fast learner but are told to stay in your box and grow slower than you’re capable of.
I was in an identical situation
Toxic! In one of the meeting with my boss she literally told me after 18 years “you’re not here because you deserve to be . You’re here because I have allowed you to be here”. The many years of abuse have literally made me question the universe. I’m 50 years old. Starting over does not feel like an option. Praying for all of you with the same fate
I'm in the same boat as I am over 50 years old and have been with the company for 20 years. I don't want to start over, and who would even hire me due to my age? I feel I'm just screwed.
Don’t lose hope. Last year I interviewed a man in his mid 60s for an analyst role I was filling. He brought lots of experience and great energy to the interview. I gave the green light to be interviewed by my VP before drafting an offer and he was picked up by another company before we could even schedule the next round. While ageism definitely exists, if you bring experience and good energy you’re way ahead of the competition. Seasoned candidates are a gift to the right hiring manager.
That is crap! I’m in my late 60s and I will be moving away from my toxic boss/workplace as soon as possible. You can do it! Get the book “Ask the Headhunter” and move on! What a horrible woman.
Find a male boss/supervisor instead. You don't know until you try. So much for girl power :(
@tracya8007 You don't have to start over, just be patient and start a side hustle in other words try another source of income while you still in your job anything that you are good at and you do it with little effort is a talent or a gift, use it to earn extra income so if push come to shove you will be still earning money in the meantime do a course outside your job description example online earnings, weekends or something extra in the evenings, think about it I'm doing it right now
I'm going through this hell right now. I don't want to quit and my only way to deal with the whole situation (favoritism, gaslighting) is to be patient, stay under radar and wait for my boss to be transferred to another store one day. Minimizing contacts with his favorites is a big help to surviving too.
I feel this. I understand your struggle
Favoritism stinks it’s not fair for the other coworkers it’s really not
@@tinamallin2570Truth! This favouriting certain coworkers is alive and well in my workplace. I’m secretly hoping one of them decides to leave. Divine timing!! 😅
Retail is a breeding ground for toxicity…modern day slavery and abuse
I hate job hopping, but here I go again. Awful people everywhere.
So true. The corporate world is full of them. I’ve had the same experience.
So same! Ugh! I went from being unfairly fired by a horrid Narcissistic boss to 3 months later getting hired at my new job and now my new boss is showing HER true colors and has begun micromanaging me.
I KNOW its not me, I've been in healthcare since 2005 and have always been fortunate to have kind managers and at the very least tolerable coworkers. But it seems things took a turn after 2020 cause it's been toxic workplace after toxic workplace. Its a friggin nightmare and I wonder if now I'm just a magnet for these types? Idk I can't reflect too much cause apparently I'm off to job hop YET AGAIN sigh
I am being micro managed then asked how will I show the other staff I’m a leader. I have been there 2 weeks and I am expected to be a leader…..this is a 18 month contract
You will find something better Pal.
Just quit a toxic place where my ex boss was mad even what I throw on the garbage lol and how many bolts I used 😅
I don't know why we don't have laws to protect the common worker from this nonsense. Yeah, we have commissions and unions, but they only apply to certain states and commissions hardly help at all.
Dont let a Toxic Boss devalue you!☝
I agree. I have a supervisor that is always verbally attacking me and one other person. The crazy thing is majority of my coworkers are black or mixed race. Only two of us are white. And the supervisor is white. But she will only attack the white people.., it’s crazy. All my coworkers have noticed. We have just chocked it down to her being insane..
They are devalued , because there devalued , weather if it's by thier own boss ( es ) , or at home , its a domino effect...
Mine nearly did but I am rising up in the Name of Jesus
If your boss is toxic don’t be excellent and go above and beyond - they will never be satisfied and will just press you more and more.
Do what you need to stay under the radar and use your time and energy to look for another job asap!
Play the idiot and leave
Staying under the radar is important with a toxic boss
So true
I stayed for months cos I love my job. He said I had to learn his way and mind you only his way no way but only him. Ridiculous as it May seems, but I’m willing to learn and be open mind to learn his skills and unlearned mine to adapt his version and I succeeded months later and did well according to him. Mind you it wasn’t easy to change nor easy transition and daily criticism and scolded publicly every single day. But Im glad I made it and was looking forward for better days and soon to be one of their permanent employee. Never expected one day, i was called by HR and I was informed its time to confirm my permanent spot and yet to be given any feedback from my boss so I need to follow up. Little did I know drama awaits me thereafter. I was called in more frequent than usual. It wasn’t a good sight to others. It felt like I’m back to school days. The job wasn’t difficult but is the person that’s making it difficult. Hence, they concluded I will be laid off or I can choose to resign voluntarily to avoid bad review on my paper. I wasn’t given reasonable explanation I was adamant and it got ugly after that, I was convinced I done a great job privately behind the scene, but was severely verbally bashed gaslighted publicly and during HR session i was severely traumatised and mentally emotionally drained succumbed to gaslighted drama and documenting everything to proof my actions and presented to HR but to no avail. They rejected my appeal and I had no choice but to leave.😢
Yes! Or they're threatened because you're better than them
I’m in a situation at my work place. I’ve decided to stay working for a toxic boss for 4 yrs now. I knew who she is for a while now and there have been sooooo many time when I wanted nothing more than to walk out. So many other people have while I’ve been there! But I couldn’t afford to just quit so I stayed, I tried to reframe, I tried to look at and focus on the positives and while it helps me cope I can only hold it for so long. A recent incident brought me to my breaking point. I can’t allow myself to keep going through this! I’m DONE! She’s out of town this week so I have a little peace and figure out a new job so when she’s back, I can finally put in my notice. Wish me luck 🍀
Your mental health is all that matters. Maybe start your own business, it can boost your cv. I truly wish you all the luck should you put in your notice.
Do they try to trigger you on purpose? My worst mistake was confiding in them with personal life situations.
@@sigmawolf7898 Going through that right now. Sorry that you had the same. I'm nervous, but getting pumped about the next chapter in my life. Rooting for you! 💪 🙌
@MetallicBluegreenFlame I'm still going through it. Other people at work see it too. Hope you get through this and grow, my brother!
Doing everything right and I know I do one hell of a job cause my dad taught that in me never half ass anything do it right the first time and I’ll never have to go back . Boss favors a guy who should of been written up way befor me she took all my supervisor status away meaning I have no say so everything goes through boss and still except me to improve told her I took everything that I was comfortable with and made it uncomfortable if it’s about ur job I went to the hire ups reigional on. My case more then just one also have witnesses who say they micro managing
I had written proof of all events with my toxic boss when I was questioned. Still I lost. Nobody cared what I had documented. They didn't even care to look when I presented them. They just shook their heads. The decision was already made.
That is definitely 💯 my work place‼️
You document it to have a solid court case, you don't document it to win with a HR. Are you silly?
I have actually found that the harder I work, the more they bother me and the more work ends up on me
Can relate
Same here😢😢😢
This summarizes my last job.
Experiencing this for the past 6 months
My current situation. The more competent you are the more work you get on your plate. It’s such BS because the dumb dumbs still get the favoritism and rewards.
A toxic boss will not be appeased so going above and beyond will just get the most insecure of that boss type targeting you to keep you in your lane. You should want to do a good job to win allies and gain influence to go around them. The best defense is to not let them get you out of character.
I made the choice to leave that environment and it was 100% worth it. I am me again. Happy bubbly wanting to be around people. Vs just going to work and home and not wanting to do anything
Love it.
My goal right now 😁
I'm at this place.
I stayed for 15 month extra at my job I found a exit strategy Yes I made my decision and felt my control coming back
@hygienistcindy6107 love this response!!!!
My boss bullies by proxy. She’s toxic because she listens to gossip then brings it to you. She’s insecure and the more you shine, the more insecure she gets. She constantly lies and is inconsistent. Anytime you have a good day, you can’t get comfortable because she will soon put you down with awful “false feedback.”
Try to find a male boss in your organisation. if you don't try, you won't know.
Exactly. And most of the time you’re (meaning people in general) are not TRYING to outshine e anyone. The BEST efforts are being put forward and insecure people can’t handle it. Or they may think that you want their job. It’s crazy.
Is it my imagination or are the toxic bosses usually a SHE? The comments are replete with evidence of this.
Double whammy for me, I’m being bullied by my immediate supervisor and his boss. I chose leaving, life too short and they’re not worth my mental health.
My toxic manager just got fired today ! Me and my workmates reported him to operation manager and to the senior managers .
In my case, all the managers will listen to my toxic boss. So it won't work for me as I am a contract employee.
Praise Jesus Hallelujah get behind thee Satan
I wish I could do that,Had the Main boss on my back the other week over another issie,She called me through again the 2nd time,Dale can I have a word please,I went through,I telling her what been going on,She back lipping me and talking to me at the same time,Also had the same problem of the other Manager,Back lipping,Means when two people talking both at once,How that gets problems solved,Also found all that rather RUDE as well
I change jobs maybe once every two years, so i have mastered the exit strategy. Most often, I leave because the environment is too harsh ( lots of cussing, gossip, bullying, heated exchanges), and the government tends to have the most toxic work environments, in my opinion. My recent position as a federal employee is making me seriously reevaluate this work thing, and i have been seriously considering self employment.
OMG so true!!! 😢
Healthcare is rife with toxic individuals too. 😢
Education and restaurants have been the most toxic for me. But I really do think it is very widespread.
The government is where all the demons reside.
@@SongofaBeach2012 healthcare is pretty much government
Excellent advice Mike. Number one goal must be to find a way for YOU to survive. The toxic boss and HR departments are not concerned with your health or well being.
I have been so wrapped up in thinking about my career, about the company, and about my boss that I forgot I was tearing my body and brain apart trying to be everything to everyone.
Thank you.
Had one Toxic boss in the past. "He micromanaged every day and almost just get my hand to do the work how he want it to be. Worst thing, he yell at you when things is not on his expected way.".
I'm a nurse and I have a good eye for detail. I notice little cues that indicate the patient is in danger, and so far, I have been right 100% of the time.
Whenever I tell the nurse manager about the danger, she will turn it around on me and say I'm trying to get the team in trouble.
I absolutely do not care about the gossip culture. I do not care about the drama. My SOLE RESPONSIBILITY is preventing the patient from harm and suffering. Often times the danger comes from things being missed. Just yesterday, a patient began to bleed into their abdomen because of a surgical error, and because the wound was not monitored or documented-on by the previous shift. If someone gets in trouble, I don't even think about that part. All I care about is the half gallon of blood pooling in the patient's abdomen. Yet I'm the bad guy for having found it and having prevented further complication and even death.
What's even worse about toxic managers are their insecurities. They just can't stand the fact that people who are junior to them in rank, or who simply report to them, can be more skilled and/or talented than them.
Such constant insecurities displayed by some managers are what makes the working relationship all the more "toxic".
I don't have a boss, I have a 'manager'. I resent having to share oxygen with that demon.
😂❤
He literally calls himself a demon as a joke lol well I don’t think he’s funny he really might be a demon 😞
😂
😂😂😂😂😂
HAHAHAH true
Toxic bosses target non neurotypical people in particular. It's awful. Like having an alcoholic parent. I hope my next company is better.
Or a school bully smh...
Best option: get your CV, apply for jobs, and prepare for interviews! You got it!
It doesnt help when your new job require your boss as a reference. I was offered a job, but they had to talk to my boss first, even though I had good references. Im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
CV??
@@paubloblanco2828currículum vitae. Basically a resume. The term is more common in academic and research fields.
@@RosemarieFit ook coo thanks! Lol
Never gossip with your co-workers about your boss.
I have a jealous boss and nearly left.
I decided to stay and fight
No more running
I’ve confided my frustration with one coworker (and over text 😅) I trust him but I do regret it. Tempted to ask him if he would delete those texts
I should’ve quit earlier. I waited too long and it weakened my confidence level.
I’m sorry they hurt you. This is the opportunity for you to take your power back. Do multiple things to improve your own self-esteem never put it in the hands of anyone other than God, and the very healthy people he will put in your pathway.
No feeling is final ,feelings are not facts, this happened FOR you NOT to you.
I hope you can reframe re see and rethink this situation you benefit !!!!
How do you get a new job then. They always require your boss as a reference. I should never had quit. Now im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
I was going to quit the other week,I thought If I quit my Job to early,Don't really want to regret it,Wont regret it no more,Enough is enough now,Be cracking up next
The people at your former job helped you in some regard: they showed you how sh!tty they were, and, that they didn't deserve your time and effort.
It's like that at my current workplace, and I'm looking for something better.
I'm 70. I work PART-TIME. The amount of poison directed at me on a daily basis feels like a tsunami. The company I work for is awful, but they were the ONLY employer that would hire me. In my eight months, 7 young workers quit with zero notice. Others acted insulted when paid $16 hr with NO experience. America is over with and I am saddened more each day.
Quit. Start working for yourself. That is what I had to do. Left the world of laboratories behind and became a contractor. Best thing I did.
Challenging, but the payoff is soooo good
I found out secrets, being homeless. I think. But me thinking big is ummm. If I ever start a business on anything I don't feel like I know that much about anything and I'm prob already making up excuses for myself but entering that kind of territory is like I can't even conjure up that many thoughts on how to. How to hopefully be successful (enough..) w/ out losing my head 🤔. I just wanna live like bobs burgers 😋. I'd never hafta walk outside. Or barelt
About that point "excel at your work", because it makes my toxic boss look good and me less of a target. Bad advice. Terrible advice in my case. My schizophrenic, narcistic boss doesn't even understand that context how my work makes her look good. She has an utter misperception of reality. No matter how hard I work, I remain the target.
I'm in the same place but my advantage is that I have a lot of visibility with the great work I'm doing with other top architects... He wants to shut me out of meetings with the powerful people but I don't let him... and they keep directing all their questions to me because they know I'm the guy who has the answers and does all the work... He absolutely hates me. He'll probably try to fire me soon because he sees me as a threat but I won't make it easy.
Just do the absolute minimum and disengage never to engage again.
It was so released at the moment when my toxic boss fired me. I am so happy now
Document, keep your cool, and the grey rock method works like a charm. Don't respond to anything unreasonable and document. This way you will protect your peace, and they will eventually sabotage themselves. Remember, your boss is being watched more so than you!
I started a new job it’s been 5 weeks. He doesn’t like me talking to the head of our department acting very insecure he reports to him. He is very rude and has anger issues. But I like the job. Shall I leave ?
@@gurugamer8632 I would say weigh out the pro and cons. If the job is for the betterment of your career and lifestyle, then I would not let some fool stop me from my purpose or position. You may have his job sooner than later anyway. Protect your peace!
@@gurugamer8632how are you doing? I hope all worked out for you
Absolutely fucking true. They make u feel like they’re ur buddy and then try to turn the other against you then say they’re “just joking” when u stand up for yourself
Most bosses need to be held accountable for their actions and send to a therapist.
Idk why they think they can just project their misery onto others and think it's ok to abuse others
This is great advice. I’m without knowing doing all this. I keep my head down, deliver the best quality work. Try to stay ahead of the drama my boss brings up. I also don’t tell anything negative about my boss to my coworkers. It’s extremely hard but it is what it is. I love this advice. Taking it one day and a time is my approach right now!!
Evrybody just so toxic nowdays,I can't keep count, how many jobs I walked away from in the year of 2023,I just quit one,as I'm typing, not letting nobody stealing my joy.any sign of toxicity I'm out of the door.im a nurse it's easy for me to find work.
At a job i was at, this one guy got promoted to management after it was known he got two employees pregnant at the same time. We were speechless. Everyone's mouth drop when it was announced at our meeting.
Well...sounds like he could use the extra money
I wish I heard this before I quit. I had 3 of them absolutely toxic and evil - team leader/ line manager and operation manager- all of them playing together. Absolute disgust honestly, I had to look for a mental health and still I am working on myself . What was more disturbing is that HR and company policies are not there for you, they protect the bullies. In my case I had to run from a job that I really enjoyed doing only because of them. Oh yes, forget to tell that there is no law to act agains bullying too…. So no help from nowhere whatsoever….
I think most toxic bosses are threatened by good workers. Once i become a crappy worker they leave me alone lol
My work is rife with surprisingly bad employees. Once I found out and got to know the boss I now understand why.
I think that only works if you're on the boss's is good side. If you're not on the bus is good side then you're damned if you do and damned if you don't and you're going to be chased out eventually
@@yodaleiheehu3280 just need to lower the bar and play stupid
I’m about to go in tomorrow. I needed to hear this. Thanks for the strength while waiting for a new offer.
yep, had to deal with a toxic boss in my last company. the biggest give away was that i often felt uncomfortable around that person, i had to watch every word i said, and it felt like i was walking on egg shells. i didn't feel that way about other managers i had worked with at that company, nor do i feel this way about people at my current company.
Toxic - when I figured it out, I started writing everything she told me to do on one of those school notebooks. When she denied telling me to do something, I brought it out and she never did it again.
This is hands down the best advice I have watched. You nailed it. I work in this circus every day. A total Freak show! In order to keep a mental balance, I wear one pod in my left ear playing scriptures ( God reminds me what not to do, the flesh is weak) , so that the right ear taking in the garbage does not send the wrong message to my brain. My motto every day is head down, mouth shut until they deliberately drag you into their drama and you have no choice but to defend yourself. The sad thing is that when normal people join the company and then realize the freak show they are in, they begin to normalize the environment and take part in the behavior because they have bills to pay. I am the rumor on the gossip mill, (which the owners/management love, as they rule by favoritism not performance) because I do not engage unless I am asking for information to do my job, or saying "good morning, good evening, or good night".
Very wise to listen to the gospel. I have to pray on the way to work that I don’t lose my cool and say things I will regret. Jesus is always looking out for His children. I always keep in mind that one day we will be in glory with Him and this will all just fade away. God bless you
A toxic boss will destroy your life. Sleep deprive you. Micromanage you. Berate you. Instruct othets to mob you. And bc of the power imbalance, they destroy you
The problm with my boss she is jealous with, she is not profesional at all. She never value or compliment my job. But others yes. So i resign better.
@@emaria7244 8 years from retirement and financially well off. There are ways to turn it back on them and make it a game.
Yes this is happening to me now
@@MichelleBradley-zd5fv Michelle I’m so sorry to know you’re experiencing this. How are you holding up ?
I put in my resignation yesterday. It's one week but I had to do it. I'm going on vacation the following week, which will become a little bit of a work vacation. This is why you always keep a 2nd and maybe even 3rd income. I have been working a part-time weekend job since the holiday season of 2023. I'm also able to sub if need be to pick up more slack. If you don't see a real future, then let it go to keep your mental health. It's just not worth it. I realize that I will never have peace until I have my own business. My vacation will be utilized to plan. You're always going to have haters in the workplace. Some people are just miserable and will do anything to bring others down, if you let them
My last Mgr was toxic. She destroyed my reputation thru lies and gossip. She also had a coworker harass and bully me in front of all my coworkers. Thankfully I’m no longer in this job 🙌
With such a red flag boss she has another thing coming
@@christianbenn316 yes she does.
I like the way this question gets at the core: reclaiming your agency over the situation.
6:32 You do want to document everything so that if HR comes after the toxic boss, you can help the company get rid of him. But that will only happen if someone above the toxic boss complains first. If you volunteer the documentation, then HR will ignore the evidence and YOU will become the target.
Sadly that is very true
Or, if a group of you complain is works to remove the person.
Sadly, this happened to me. I brought documentation to HR to report my toxic boss & in the meeting (with my boss present) they flipped the entire meeting on me & it became about my performance as an employee. They completely dismissed everything.
Toxic, in my case a lot gaslighting, disrespect, favouritism etc
I’m going into work this morning. I feel empowered now after listening to your video!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Go get’em
I have a pair of toxic bosses and Im pregnant 😢 Just trying to get to maternity leave. 6 weeks to go and never thought 6 weeks could feel so long 💔
I’m in the same situation as you… I have 3 months left before I go on leave and I’m trying so hard to not quit on the spot everyday
He didn't ruined my life. He ruined my ability to get another job. Guaranteed that if I ever get the actual evidence there will be charges laid.
@@HisExcellencyx Managers never say what they mean... except when they yell at you in the office with your supervisor present. The Supervisor quit the next day... never saw her again.
I knew the manager wanted me to quit, that's why he was quiet firing me, but I resisted him at every step. Pissed him off good. He was transferred to another store because a PhD therapist reported that I shouldn't be returned to the same environment. I got fired by his successor.
The story is much much longer. But I've bored everyone enough. lolz
Thanks for replying.
@@HisExcellencyx You said it. I hold no hope in getting hired. Employers see me and my size and instantly think I can be the heavy lifter they've been looking for. My c5-c6 disk is gone and I'm 57... doesn't seem to matter.
Now, I am trying to deal in rare stones. Wish me luck. lol
Put a friendly coworker (preferably senior in rank- ie., supervisor or manager in another section) as your contact and brief them about the possibility that they’ll get a reference call about you. Because a bad boss will give you a poor reference and will try to destroy your future opportunities. Also, HR is NOT on your side - they only care about the company’s image and in protecting management and the structure. Junior staff can be replaced and simply aren’t valued.
Damn. This made my eyes water from hope. Thank you.
There’s always hope. If nothing else.
You can set boundaries in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "no" in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "don't" in a polite manner and I am absolutely sure you can ask your boss to send his requests in an email, yes, "black and white" instead of writing stuff down that can be easily thrown out. This is not fighting at all. To be honest this doesn't do much if nothing at all in a situation like that. Especially if lines are being crossed and lines will be crossed with a toxic boss. Based on experience and I have done what you said 10 years ago, you'll set yourself up to be taken advantage of. With anyone who is toxic the objective is to "put your foot down" In a polite manner I'm sure. That's how you realize you have power you thought you never had. Because living with anxiety has taught me that the only way to through is to stand up.
I went through this twice in my life, Never again, Great words and points
I’m in hell working for a toxic boss and she’s the company owner. The only thing keeping me from quitting is that my salary is extremely high for what I do and I need the money to support my family. I have an exit strategy and that’s to start my own company. I’ve already registered it and now just need to do the legwork of getting clients. I pray every day that I can leave this job and never work for another narc for the rest of my days.
Take her clients mate...
Toxic - had a boss who disliked honesty. I made the mistake of being honest. She targeted me so hard - I’ve that place now. She was manipulative, a liar, gaslighter, would get colleagues to report back to her everything and anything I said. It was hell. Constantly giving me her work which would remove me from my own work and destroy my stats. She was sick alright.
Toxic: all the points mentioned in this video matches exactly to what I am facing with that person right now. It's mental stress and nightmare. I figured this out and was left shocked and frozen. I suffered a lot. now I am going to watch other videos to get clarity if the whole workplace is toxic or is it only one person. It's close to a year now with this guy and in my career this is first time I experienced this.
Toxic is toxic. Even if we can prove it and that person is reprimanded, they become vengeful and even more passive, and the environment becomes even more hostile than it was before you said something. Best just to leave.
Thanks for your video. It has given me the clarity of how to take things into our control. I am going to make this trauma in office as a spring board for my future. At the moment I am not sure what it would be but I would not let the toxic situation in my office spoil my life. As a first step I have decided to quit smoking and look forward for a healthier life. Thanks once again.
Do yourself a favor and don’t go to HR. HR is NOT there for the employee. HR is for the company. They will always protect the company. If your toxic boss in the position they are, it is because they know how to sell themselves better than you. They will sell to HR how it is not them.
After a toxic session, I go back to my office and email my wonderfully toxic little man, stating, "Thank you for meeting with me today. Just to be clear with your expectations, you wanted me to do a, b, c, d, etc." Now you have a record email for your file. If they answer, they may just fix what they were saying, or they may not answer, which means you just clipped his wings. There is always a way to protect yourself - well, almost always.
I needed this, thank you!
It’s a lot of energy to experience all the bs document all the bs and do a spectacular job
Iam crying and my heart is aching of what he did infront of everyone.
Mike! Thank you for what you do here. Your tips and advice is helping. Thank you!
Glad if it helps :)
My boss likes to yell out peoples names at random to get a rise out of them resulting in people starring. Feels demoralizing says he just likes yelling out my name sometimes it’s confusing if he’s yelling for me if he needs to ask me a question.
Filing a report to the state labor board, filing a lawsuit, quitting, baiting them into firing you without breaking the law or making yourself ineligible for unemployment (when possible). Works for me.
Toxic
I have been the scapegoat for many toxic bosses. I am a woman in a non traditionally line of work.
I’m in maintenance.
Thank you for the advice, my boss hates me, his calling HR on me for a second time in a row. I’m so sick of this, it’s never ending. I can’t leave since I don’t have any job lined up and need this job to pay my bills. 😢
I have a toxic boss now. He says things like man I wish I would have hired someone else. He also will take my employees that are under me sitting in my chair and say you'd make a better manager than him. Things like that all the time. Gets very upset when he has to teach me the same thing two or three times because the way he teaches is very hard to comprehend what he's trying to teach me. Just very difficult person to work for
This SUCKS!
@@LeadershipwithMike problem is I moved 600 miles of my family South to take this job. It was a promotion in my company that I was already with and I love the company. This man just does not want to give, you make me push my workers to the point they want to quit. I understand because I was my employees just a year ago. It's been a little bit of time for him I think you forgot where you came from so I always seemed like I'm buffering between him and them just taking the brunt of the hit and constantly being pulled down by him
@@LeadershipwithMike get out and do what's best for you. There are better employers out there. Get out of the situation.
Tell him kiss you're ass it's been along time waiting
@@russlardinois5751 I wonder what HR's position is on toxicity.
Reading the comments, now I know why I have no energy and just want to go home to do nothing! It’s amazing how stress at work can affect your health!
My current boss is toxic, sadly have had toxic bosses in the past and none of them are as toxic as this one! Have worked with him now for 6 years, 3 of them him being my boss and dreaming of the day he gets the boot!
Getting tired hoping this and wondering if I should leave
I was a 'rising star' at my company..My sponsor encouraged me to join her department and have her manager (ie. His team) train me. Big mistake. My trainer and manager have gossiped about me to others behind my back and unbeknownst to me now have my sponsor believing their lies as well. It hurts and I feel so alone. Looking for my exit now. I hate going from being labeled a rising star to now a dud on a PIP due to his "leadership"
Incredible that so many people around the globe are going through the same crap. And so many people will mental instability/jealousy/ extreme insecurities are in management positions. Just crazy. I hope everyone finds the employment where they belong and where they can be long. Lol. Blessings to all. And those evil bosses and/or managers, may they get whatever they deserve.
After 3 yrs in. I’m finally am about to get out. Definitely continued to do the job and yes it’s burns me up seeing her taking credit for all my work, however, now that she knows I’m leaving she’s crying making promises begging me not to leave she’ll change, all bc the person that makes her look like they’re doing their job is finally leaving from the abuse, unexpected. It suck’s bc I have to take a step down, however I know I will work my way up again and I’m finally can be free and gain my peace, mental health and control back
Thank you for this had 15 minutes of no self worth after a gaslighting at work before realsing and getting my head clear. Went searching for help and advice and has validated everything. Along with the support of my coworkers really really helped me get out of a terrible head space. Thank you so much. I will be sharing this video. ❣
Glad to help.
I dont really view my boss as my boss. Just someone i have to deal with for the time being.
I’m working for one right now and my life is miserable… it’s a catch 22 all around . It’s a family business and the son is just out of control and no matter what I say or tell the owner he does no wrong .
Man it would have been nice if this could have been my reality at my last job. My toxic boss had created an environment where it was an authoritarian system under his control and approval, so much so that before the time I was there he fired/got rid of the HR team because he felt it was an annoyance.
It’s a long story, but it appears that was worse than a toxic work environment. May I learn the skills to serve my future no matter than space, and have healthy boundaries went interacting with the toxic ones!
We had a coworker once who was ready to be fired by a boss who has been described as vindictive. So she was ready to say what she really thought of him. His response before she quit or got fired was. He laughed and then said I make the big bucks now
It sucks when your manager turns everyone against you. She tells them to not talk to me or ice me out. They do it. I'm singled out and not sure why. I quit once to go back to my old job but they were no better so i got hired back at my first job and they all acted super nice so i would not leave. Then they went back to treating me bad. They all lied to me ugh
I’m going through this right now. I’ve been at this job for 6-7 months and he’s told me that “ I will not get fired because of you” and “I haven’t dealt with situations like this since you got here”. Today he said I was storing data in my phone… and I’ve had enough. I have to keep focus, stay positive and let things play out. I don’t want to leave, but my peace of mind is everything to me.
You have to take care of yourself. So I say quit
I recently discovered that my boss hired me intending to help him forget the woman he almost left his wife for...
After putting in hours of my own personal time researching more about my job and getting heavily invested in it, this is what I get revealed to. I no longer have the care or pride in the job. I never stay at a job just for the money and this is a prime example. I've been in leadership positions before and it takes a certain mentality and personality to be a genuine boss that helps employees feel comfortable working for. The job-hopping train is getting old, but I'd rather go back to that than work for someone who projects their personal problems onto others.
My time is too precious to spend in the shadows of another person's unresolved struggles.
I have a toxic boss and didn't even realize it for a long time. You mentioned like 5 things that fit the description, and he has little man syndrome. Thanks for helping me realize what i must now do.
Going through this now. But I refuse to leave to make her happy. I know she's jealous of me because of my work ethics. She's trying so hard to push me out. Then minutes later she wanna talk to me like we're friends lmao I'm like OKAY I peep game "HEYY, GIRL HOW YOU DOING TODAY " I can play the game too. She will be out before I do ❤❤❤
Same to me girls.. My boss she is jealous and never compliment me. She just called me when i made mistake. But when im improving my self she didnt care. So i guess she is just toxic and narcistic. She hate if everybody in the office admire me. So i can feel it. I resign
Companies who don’t value their workers are slowly going down hill because people who would have once stayed and put up with the disrespectful treatment are realising they don’t have too. Which is why a lot of companies that don’t treat their employees with the respect they deserve are having trouble keeping and even finding staff to hire. The workers that keep them in their high paying jobs are getting sick of sacrificing themselves and their own health to keep the business and management that take them for granted in business. I for one will keep walking away from companies that don’t respect or appreciate my great work ethic. They are loosing good workers they need to keep their company going by under appropriating and devaluing them as human beings with wants and needs of their own. Some companies are a wake up to or have been all along treating their employees with common courtesy respect and genuine gratitude have a low employee turnover. They are wise enough to realise they need the workers to run a business. The happier and more valued the employees feel the more successful the business. Happy valued workers are good for the company’s success.
If they can’t see ur worth shame to them.
Jeff Bezo has a solution to that.... Robots.
It's the assistant manager at my job. She has created conflicts with a previous employee who felt no choice but to walk out. Then again with a brand new employee training, telling this employee if she's short changed that money will come out of her pocket. Now with me, she approached me after I was clocked out, shift over, saying goodbye to a fellow coworker, the A.M then approached me and chose that moment in front of staff to tell me going forward I can't continue on with new tasks until the previous tasks are completed. Confused and frustrated I tried to explain how busy it was (definitely not a good idea on my part).... mind you I was clocked and at that point no longer in the store but standing on mall property. She is now taking me to HR...
I told my boss that I will be looking for a new job if the situation carries on the same in our department. Short staffed and orders not going out of the door. We've since had two more people set on. Wouldn't worry me one bit if I had to leave as like you say, I'm in control.
Without a doubt. In fact, I have found that one of the best things you can do is do an email to reiterate what you and your toxic boss discussed, however irrelevant it may seem. If you do this, it can never be denied. It also makes your toxic boss prick their ears up and realise that they gad better be very cautious about what the do or say to you.
I’m dealing with someone who has been told they are going to be my boss, but they are not yet my boss. But have been making my life hell and I’m ready to leave the company I’ve been with for 7+ years.
Toxic...sociopath...no empathy...evil...
Dropping gems. I think the part about having control is the most important.
Appreciate you.
Toxic...called numerous times to her office...bunch of known bullies in my department. Started documenting every little thing that could be misconscrewed and sure enough she brought up something on it. I read back exactly what happened. Even went to administrater of clinic on her numerous times...she finally retired. Adminintrater was supportive and kind to me. Other people in the clinic said she either liked u or she didnt. The stress if it all probably led to me getting cancer after that tho
i screenshot everything and cc my personal email when it’s shady
Another disappointment when you love your job and you know there’s no growth and that you’re not valued😢
That’s tough!
Getting it rough now.
Thank you for making this video! This is happening to me RIGHT NOW!!! I'm LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!
You’re very welcome
Toxic.Currently dealing with one and emailed her boss and felt good as now it was out.Heading was “feeling undervalued”.Got the usual corporate blab of needing to discuss with her firstly.Now I have an email trail and going to point out thing’s,that I need help with and then have copy and write my responses as well as hers .Then forward it for her n her bosses for his catch up about me with her☘️.Sad but can’t have a coffee off record anymore as things get twisted.Thanks for advice as I keep telling myself “It’s business and not to take it personally 👍
How did it go?
Needed this cause I was lost with there dumb Fs thank you
While I understand what you are saying, if there is someone else who is already the golden child in the group, then you can do the most perfect work in the world, and it won't help.
This happened to me. My boss already had a person who worked perfectly and who my boss needed. That person is now silently doing all the work in the group and working about 180 hours/week. Meanwhile, I was put on PIP which, at our company, is just the excuse to get rid of someone.
HR is there to protect the company. They don't care about employees. They made that clear with several employees that were there.
In most toxic situations, especially with a direct narcissistic boss and/or toxic leadership, the only thing you can do to get peace is leave.
I'm now with a company that is not toxic, and with a boss who is the polar opposite of my nBoss. It took me a month after I quit, to find that new situation. For me, it was the only answer.