I was hanging Christmas lights on my 20'+ high gutter while listening to this, and there were moments of uncontrollable laughter where I thought "Fuck, I'm gonna fall off this ladder and this is how I'm gonna meet my end".
You just know Jim is gonna give you a funny story when he prefaces it with "But on the one time..." In the words of the late Robin Harris: "...Gotta go, gotta go!"
How casually he mentions having a "burger towel" in his car gets me. Sure, I have a few napkins in my glove box. Nothing I refer to that indicates a size or specific job though. Classic.
AS an adult man who has shit himself more times than I like to admit, food poisoning at a music festival is not fun. Socks make terrible wiping material.
That I can understand…food poisoning is awful. I just…my kids’ father shit himself down the highway. His ex wife shit herself and had to use boutique bag tissue paper to wipe. I keep waiting in horror but thus far in my adult life it has yet to happen to me. Not looking forward to it.
@@marilynsgirl01 sounds to me like your baby daddy and all who love him are cursed to poop themselves. I hope you're deep enough in love to make pooping your pants worth it. 😂💩
This clip had me in tears laughing. It also reminded me of my father. Dad had had his gallbladder removed when he was in his 20s or 30s. As a result greasy food would go right through him. As he got older it got worse. He developed some form of IBS or something. He got to the point where he could go to a restaurant on a completely empty stomach and empty bowels and before the meal was finished he'd have to go to the bathroom. When it struck him that he needed to go number 2, he needed to go. We drove across Canada one summer and he marked a trail from one end of the country to the other. The sad thing is that the last few years of his life didn't have to be as difficult as they were in that regard if only his family doctor had listened to him. His family doctor always thought he was exaggerating when Dad would tell him how bad his bowels were. It took my Mom going into an appointment with my Dad and getting angry with the doctor and telling him that Dad wasn't exaggerating about his bowels. A trip to a specialist later and he was give a prescription that changed his life. A prescription that had been available for years and years. As a result of that medication Dad's last couple of years were much easier in relation to his bowels.
I remember when I was on a hike with the Boy Scouts. One of the juniors needed to go, so we stopped, gave him some toolet roll, and sent him into the bushes to do his business. 10 minutes went by, and he hadn't come back. We called out to him and got no answer. Me and another senior scout went into the bushes to find him. Thankfully he wasn't too far from the trail. He was dressed, and the toilet roll hadn't been used. We asked him if he was OK and if he was too nervous to go. He shook his head and said, "I was trying to go, and then the poo fell into my pants!" He then started balling his eyes out. We left that one for the Scout Leader to sort out.
I used to be in a band and we were staying at this dude's house we practiced in, anyway his toilet was backed up so I went outside to shit and conveniently placed myself two cinder blocks to sit on and shit between, not only did I have explosive diarrhea and get it all over myself but it was so goddamn cold outside the ice cold cinder blocks pulled the skin off my ass when I got up
@@DarksaberForce Absolutely. One of my favorites. I swear that is the kind of thing that only happens to a guy like Jim. It's a sick joke the world plays on folks like him simply to entertain the rest of us. Like the great George Carlin said "When you are born you get a ticket to the freak show, when you are born in America you get a front row seat." Or maybe I'm just a little too high. Lol
I will never, ever, EVER buy or use a burger towel EVER again. I will NEVER be able to undo these images in my brain. The awfulness will never be forgotten.
As much as I despise Hulk Hogan, his movie “No Holds Barred” has one joke, one juvenile stupid joke, that I will never stop laughing at; *WHAT’S THAT I SMELL?!* “D-D-Dookie!”
I remember the story when Jim was calling the debut match of Boogeyman in OVW and when he shit himself while scream to the fans to get out of the way, so the Boogeyman could walk through the crowd😂😂🤣 this is basically where the problem between him and Santino started.
i haven't heard it mentioned by him in years, but it's basically a large towel he would keep on his lap so he could eat fast food without spilling all over, while driving between towns. One of the first items he sold related to his podcast was a "Cornette Burger towel".
@@TheMistaRich Or when stone cold shit himself then Yokozuna was about to give him the banzai drop and he looked up and said "Yoke, go home" and Yokozuna said "Ok, brah" Then they finished the match.
These stories made me laugh so hard at work people were staring at me. I was dying listening to to explain how to shit while hanging on to the car. So classic
Up until now if I ever popped for a Cornette Action Figure or photo I always thought I'd get it autographed "Thank you, Fuck you, Bye!" but now I'm strongly considering "Shit Happens"
💩 Jimmy got a poo poo🤣🤣🤣 I swear just hearing Brian's laugh is just worth it all even if it was in my story telling him being s*** myself it would be worth hearing Brian's laugh
I Crapped My Pants One Time...OutSide a GasStation. So I Went Into TheGasStation RestRoom to Throw Away My Soiled UnderWear. Days Later...That Same GasStation *EXPLODED,* Due to an Alleged GasLeak Under TheFloor!
Hey. Jim Cornette is a goddamned national treasure and I’ll hear no debate on the matter. Also, I really appreciate that they bleeped out the first two uses of “shit”. Those were really offensive instances.
I once was passing a freeway and there was this woman next to a Mercedes shitting in the middle of the street. 3 minutes from there there was a mall. I thought to myself "How desperate you need to be not to be able to arrive to the mall and shit in the middle of the freeway to everyone to see"!
Finally, Cornette Mudshow
Take a bow sir.
Golden comment 😄
That was totally worth scrolling down for. 🤣
That's a good one.
This is the quality content that I tune into to hear every week.
I was hanging Christmas lights on my 20'+ high gutter while listening to this, and there were moments of uncontrollable laughter where I thought "Fuck, I'm gonna fall off this ladder and this is how I'm gonna meet my end".
Death by Corny 😄
Even funnier if whoever finds you, and sees this as the preview on your phone and wonders what in the blue hell were you listening to this for.
You almost had a Clark Griswald moment brother. Glad to hear you made it down safe. Merry Christmas!
@@scottthegeneticfreaksteine393 holla if ya hear me 🚨🚨🚨
Cool story
Jim is gold. Whether shittin in the woods, or shittin on Elite, he's the guy who can cure depression, or make my day.
Brilliant!
20 minutes of Jim Cornette talking about taking a shit. Life is good
This is one of the greatest 22 minute segments ever in the history of podcasting . The man is a national treasure.
You just know Jim is gonna give you a funny story when he prefaces it with "But on the one time..." In the words of the late Robin Harris: "...Gotta go, gotta go!"
Imagine driving along and look over to see Jim Cornette holding on to his bumper like he’s water skiing and shitting himself.
How casually he mentions having a "burger towel" in his car gets me. Sure, I have a few napkins in my glove box. Nothing I refer to that indicates a size or specific job though. Classic.
I needed this gem today.. Thanks guys!
This is classic! - your on the beach with tennis shoes and socks?
Thank you again Jim and Brian !!!
Friend of mine was playing in the woods, forgot to pull his shorts out of the way and laid an epic King Kong's finger sized dump right into the gusset
Jim’s gotta do more stories like this
I thought this would be a story about Jim taking a bump and shitting himself. This is even funnier
AS an adult man who has shit himself more times than I like to admit, food poisoning at a music festival is not fun. Socks make terrible wiping material.
My idea of hell.
That I can understand…food poisoning is awful. I just…my kids’ father shit himself down the highway. His ex wife shit herself and had to use boutique bag tissue paper to wipe. I keep waiting in horror but thus far in my adult life it has yet to happen to me. Not looking forward to it.
@@marilynsgirl01 sounds to me like your baby daddy and all who love him are cursed to poop themselves. I hope you're deep enough in love to make pooping your pants worth it. 😂💩
This clip had me in tears laughing. It also reminded me of my father. Dad had had his gallbladder removed when he was in his 20s or 30s. As a result greasy food would go right through him. As he got older it got worse. He developed some form of IBS or something. He got to the point where he could go to a restaurant on a completely empty stomach and empty bowels and before the meal was finished he'd have to go to the bathroom. When it struck him that he needed to go number 2, he needed to go. We drove across Canada one summer and he marked a trail from one end of the country to the other.
The sad thing is that the last few years of his life didn't have to be as difficult as they were in that regard if only his family doctor had listened to him. His family doctor always thought he was exaggerating when Dad would tell him how bad his bowels were. It took my Mom going into an appointment with my Dad and getting angry with the doctor and telling him that Dad wasn't exaggerating about his bowels. A trip to a specialist later and he was give a prescription that changed his life. A prescription that had been available for years and years. As a result of that medication Dad's last couple of years were much easier in relation to his bowels.
The clarification of the beach and the tube socks. I keep rewinding, it's making me laugh so hard. Hope I actually get to the end of this 🤣🤣🤣
This is the content I keep coming back for
"What happened to your socks?"
"Shut up!"
🤣
I remember when I was on a hike with the Boy Scouts. One of the juniors needed to go, so we stopped, gave him some toolet roll, and sent him into the bushes to do his business. 10 minutes went by, and he hadn't come back. We called out to him and got no answer. Me and another senior scout went into the bushes to find him. Thankfully he wasn't too far from the trail. He was dressed, and the toilet roll hadn't been used. We asked him if he was OK and if he was too nervous to go. He shook his head and said, "I was trying to go, and then the poo fell into my pants!" He then started balling his eyes out. We left that one for the Scout Leader to sort out.
Bet he was bullied after that
What nickname did they come up wit to call him after that
@nigel1823 if I remember right they teased him by singing an ad jingle for big boy diapers
I used to be in a band and we were staying at this dude's house we practiced in, anyway his toilet was backed up so I went outside to shit and conveniently placed myself two cinder blocks to sit on and shit between, not only did I have explosive diarrhea and get it all over myself but it was so goddamn cold outside the ice cold cinder blocks pulled the skin off my ass when I got up
All part of the rockstar lifestyle
LMFAO
“My wife saud what “happened to your socks? “I said shut up.”
As someone who could basically care less about modern wrestling, this is the kind of content I stick around for.
Remember the car on the fence story?
@@DarksaberForce Absolutely. One of my favorites. I swear that is the kind of thing that only happens to a guy like Jim. It's a sick joke the world plays on folks like him simply to entertain the rest of us. Like the great George Carlin said "When you are born you get a ticket to the freak show, when you are born in America you get a front row seat." Or maybe I'm just a little too high. Lol
Jim Cornette keeps that same Energy with AEW because he Soils on them whenever he Reviews their Product
Or shall we say bi-product💩
You know the product is Bad when Jim only reviewed the MJF segment
LMFAO this is Absolutely Hilarious this story is no pun intended Such Good Shit Pal 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, forget about the bear. "Does Corny shit in the woods?"
Also... The way Jim says "Poopy." 😂
I will never, ever, EVER buy or use a burger towel EVER again. I will NEVER be able to undo these images in my brain. The awfulness will never be forgotten.
"The perpetrator of the shart" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Literally in tears the entire time
As much as I despise Hulk Hogan, his movie “No Holds Barred” has one joke, one juvenile stupid joke, that I will never stop laughing at;
*WHAT’S THAT I SMELL?!* “D-D-Dookie!”
Cornette’s droppings still would put on a better match than Twinkletoes and the trampoline gymnasts
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@jaysonraphaelmurdock8812 Only worthless pieces of shit spam stupid shitty emojis.
Thoughts and prayers with Barry Windham and he's family
Shit stories are some of the best stories to tell, we’ve all shit ourselves at least once.
Bro! I can't stop laughing at your profile pic! 🤣🤣🤣
Great avatar.
No they really aren't gross humor is disgusting.
@@skyblaze2156 grow up
Reminds me of Steve Austins story when Yokozuna slammed him and he shit himself lol.
There are many stories involving Yokozuma and shit 😀
Austin or Yokozuna?
Now I’ve got to look
I remember the story when Jim was calling the debut match of Boogeyman in OVW and when he shit himself while scream to the fans to get out of the way, so the Boogeyman could walk through the crowd😂😂🤣 this is basically where the problem between him and Santino started.
it’s happened to the best of us, jim.
As a man with Crohns, yeah ive been there Jim i feel for you
Irony is I did this at work the other day. I work at a hospital. It was terrible but hysterical
Jimbob Cornpants: *”SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!”*
Dear Jim and Brian
I live in the UK and was wondering when the phrase "burger towel" is said. Do you mean hand wipes?
i haven't heard it mentioned by him in years, but it's basically a large towel he would keep on his lap so he could eat fast food without spilling all over, while driving between towns. One of the first items he sold related to his podcast was a "Cornette Burger towel".
@@takerdust thanks for filling me in; I can truly appreciate that segment now lol
Reminds me of the story when Yokozuna had to shit outside a plane due to Mr Perfects patented cookies
He was once going to give Brett Hart the Banzai drop when he had diarrhoea 🤦♂️
Or Dave Schultz putting Ex-Lax in the cookies 💩
@@williammitchell4417 or when austin shit himself in Japan I think? When wrestling yokozuna
@@TheMistaRich Or when stone cold shit himself then Yokozuna was about to give him the banzai drop and he looked up and said "Yoke, go home" and Yokozuna said "Ok, brah" Then they finished the match.
@@deathmauler181 Yep.
Wow this is interesting how the s*** off the bumper of a car I better write this down🤔🙂😲🤭🤣🤣🤣🍻👍
I’m full of flu but had to work today and legitimately almost shit myself on the drive home while listening to this
This clip and the clip that Jim spoke about the guy trapped in the chimney are his funniest clips. 😂 😆 😂
Add his meltdown over the car that landed on his fence
@@madringking1119 yes!! Come to think of it, there’s like 30+ clips that will make me laugh out loud 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@Mandrahale Especially when the topic is food
As a kid I used to shitn the road of my development and watch cars drive over it. I was 19 then, good times!
If a wrestling manager shits in the wood does it make a sound?
Cornette never fails to make me laugh.
Travis art glorious!!!!😂😂😂😂
Jim wearing tennis shoes in the beach saved his life. 😂
The level of thought on how best to shit behind a car. I love it. 👍
That was the hardest I've ever laughed listened to Jim. That's saying a lot. 😂😂
Prayers up for Barry Windham
I have a whole new respect for Jim after this conversation!! 😂😂😂😂😅😅 Love u JC!!!
Jim you want to go for a witte boat wide 😂
All that hiding in the house still didn't pay off? Hum?
-- “Mark Schlereth’s Stinkin’ Good Green Chili Sauce” --
Is that a bush or a shart cloud creeping from behind the tree?? Lol
This clip made me….
… wait for it…
… wait for it…
… sh!t mys@lf!!!!!!
This is the funniest corny segment I've ever heard. I'm dying laughing and driving lol
These stories made me laugh so hard at work people were staring at me. I was dying listening to to explain how to shit while hanging on to the car. So classic
Ditto. The part of falling into cow pat
"Even if your pants are above the knees there's drippage when you go to wipe"
Nah just wipe before standing up.
Up until now if I ever popped for a Cornette Action Figure or photo I always thought I'd get it autographed "Thank you, Fuck you, Bye!"
but now I'm strongly considering "Shit Happens"
This was a perfect episode to listen to while getting ready. I laughed so hard that I pooped myself twice but it's ok because I was in the shower.
Ahhhh, good ol fashioned waffle stomp.
That's still not okay
@@archiemisc 🤣
Everyone has missed judged a fart at least once.
And don't forget those instances where you have a bad cough and diarrhea at the same time....
Most People have ran into [ Toilet Troubles] one time in their life 😅😅
Tree or walking all the way back to the house. Walking back to the house every time. But I’m a secret crapper. No one ever knows.
I’m gonna try that bumper technique. Cheers corny!
Jim is somehow even more funny when he's sick 😆
Somewhere in the Caribbean lie Corny's shitty socks, like a horrible pirate treasure.
💩 Jimmy got a poo poo🤣🤣🤣 I swear just hearing Brian's laugh is just worth it all even if it was in my story telling him being s*** myself it would be worth hearing Brian's laugh
Man I majorly sharted my pants last week it was SOOOOOO terribly embarrassing!!!
“You see Matthew” I caught that
Think this is my new favourite segment.
Crappin' In TheWoods Creates TheBiggestChance to "Fall Back In It".😜
I Crapped My Pants One Time...OutSide a GasStation. So I Went Into TheGasStation RestRoom to Throw Away My Soiled UnderWear. Days Later...That Same GasStation *EXPLODED,* Due to an Alleged GasLeak Under TheFloor!
when i did it once no one noticed, havent ate a lot since unless its in my house..
Why does he call napkins, burger towels?
"Gawd damn now I'm dizzy!" 😂
There are no words….
I like it when they post the beginning of the podcast. Always nice for people to hear the podcast is better when they aren't talking about rasslin
New “Experience” is online. Now I’M running late.
I'm literally crying my ass off listening to this.......
Already listened to this 3x !!
Are you sure it's not #2??
The best there is,the best there was, the best there ever will be - the Shitman Wet Fart. 😂😂😂 Good ol' Cornolhio
If this doesn't land them a Dude Wipes sponsorship, I don't know what will
hahahaha does Jim poop in the woods joke :P
I hope this is the story tony schiovanni told about cornette having to pull over and shit in the woods and wipe with the burger towel.
Old school rasslin and taking dumps .... More entertaining than anything on wrestling these days!
Hey. Jim Cornette is a goddamned national treasure and I’ll hear no debate on the matter.
Also, I really appreciate that they bleeped out the first two uses of “shit”. Those were really offensive instances.
Now this is the s**t I tune in for.
Jim Cornette is the best any story he tells is funny as fuck but this is one of his best
Content like this is why I'm a member of the cult of Cornette 😀
If you're going to fall asleep to Jim Cornette clips, make sure this isn't the one, or that you have youtube autoplay off.
I once was passing a freeway and there was this woman next to a Mercedes shitting in the middle of the street. 3 minutes from there there was a mall. I thought to myself "How desperate you need to be not to be able to arrive to the mall and shit in the middle of the freeway to everyone to see"!
Her name must be "classy"
how fat was she
he forgot his napkins hahahaha
The best thing to happen to the wrestling business in 20 years is a 22 minute Jim Cornette video about pooping. I'll take it as a win💩🤘
This is just as good as George Brett's story about shitting himself at the Mirage.
Corny beyond wrestling is why a lot of us stick around.
I hadn't had a deuce accident since I was a baby and Jim is doing it regularly... What's wrong with me?
The Zubaz. That's good stuff.
This is comic gold.
Shitting yourself is apart of life.
This was still a better story than the whole Katie Vick saga.