Dear Iqra, I am fairly new to your channel and this is the first time I watched your dil ki baat series. MashaAllah I am blown away by your wisdom and gentleness and insight. I love that you are trying to help others through your channel. Keep up the great work and looking fwd to more. May Allah preserve your good intentions and accept your efforts.
There should be no kitchen sharing in joint family. It will end most issues.. wife should be provided with separate portion with her own kitchen.... seriously it will make alot of things easy
I’m living in joint family but Allahumduillah I am so much happy and want to live with my in laws happily the reason behind is my mil she is totally love she never treat me like dil she always treated me like her daughter and same with my sil they all are loving too koi rok tok nahi ane Jane mai khane penne mai sone jagne mai no never the reason behind all scene is my lovely mil ❤
Muje aap ka vlog es liye hi acha lagta hai k itna sakoon hota hai koi chik chik nai alhmdulliha or Allah pak hamesha es tara hi rkahe ameeeen or baki rehi sab k saath mil kar rehna muje apni saas k saath es liye acha lagta tha k ek baro ka dar rehta hai insan wo kaam nai karta jo hame badh mein pata lagta hai k ye bare hote to hum nai karte ek yani ek baat ye k jab merj saas zinda thi to mein aone miaa jee se itna jagra nai karti thi dar hota tha k wo sone gee to kia kehne gee ye nai wo bohat zalim thi itna hi jitna ekmaa baap apno beti ho kehte hao shaud ys b bohat kammaa to maar b leti thi par wo bas baat hi karte thy shayd meri baat samaj naa aay par es tara ki bohat sari bate hame rokti hai jo hamre liye theek nai hoti baro k gher par hone ki waja se ye muje on k jane k badh pata laga Allah pak on ko jannat mein aallah muqam de ameeeen ya rab
Bohat khoob... Kitni clear baten hai aapki... Not married yet but yes simple issues ko bada bana kar rishte kharab hojate hai... Agar ham aqal se kaam len tou bohat sarey masle hal honge... Rahi baat abuse ki tou woh sarasar galat hai... Islam mai koi jagah nhi uski.
Jo problem Apne batai me wo dono face ker Rai hon 14 Saal hogaey mere shadi ko 4 bachy hain mere or mjy nai permission k me mama k Ghar ja kar Raat rahon 1 month Baad he jati hon or bus kehna ye ha k AP agar apni feeling ko side me rakh ker husband or in k Ghar walo ka khayl rakho to boht cheezy theek ho jati hain jawab nai deti bus Jo good ho sakta ha wo kerti hon sari dunia Bhool chuki hon bacho or husband k lea .baqi Allah pak se Dua kia kro k sub ki life's ki problem door ho jaen wo din kehta me b kehti wo Raat boly me b bolti bus Kuch time kerti Rai to 100 me se 70 percent problem solve hui me ne khud ko Kuch time k lea sambhal dia or doosro k lea jeya but AJ khud k lea b boht kerti hon aik dukh ha Mera k mere mama foot ho Gai or mje UN k Sath time nai Mila k me guzarti bus 😭😭😭😭
I don’t think unke kehne ki raat ya din bolna,ya poori duniya bhooljana ya apni Maa se na milna koi healthy relationship define kar raha hai so aapke liye toh work kar raha hai lekin to advise that to others probably is not right.Yes,most sacrifices/compromises only the woman makes and then the relationship works but to make the man decide whether it’s day or night is wrong.Allah ne hum sabko shaoor aur aqal dee hai toh wo use karna hamara kaam hai.For eg agar wo kahen ke raat bhar so nahi toh hum kuch din toh karlenge lekin uske baad toh Soenge naa kyunki neend aajaegi kyunki aapki aqal aapse kahegi ke bus abh jism saath chodh raha hai.Bus usi tarah khuda ka nizam change karna unka ya kisi ka kaam nahi hai.Toh qudrat ne maa se mohabbat karna aur usko waqt dena ya duniya se waasta rakhna ye sab wajib rakha hai,kisi ek ke aas paas agar duniya sametni hai toh wo sirf Allah ke paas sametni hai na ke husband ke.
Assalamualikeum Iqra, just similar to your other vlogs this one's very productive too especially the one's that closely emphasises on the societal and patriarchal issues.With reference to the topic, I'd say most of what you said is accurate.Ignoring small things and letting go is not just a wise act but even in our beautiful religion it's appreciated on a vast magnitude.Whereas i believe in some cases letting go turns out to be an act of promotion as the person on the other end percieves it as innocence and lenience.This builds upto some extent where the situation eventually escalates thereof it's crucial to set healthy boundaries for people to share the same space in bliss and harmony.
Dear ap ne sahi kaha sb gray hn kahin py bahu itni toxic mentality rakhti hn k apki soch hy dunya ki hr naimat hony k bawajud love marriage or sb inlaws ki appreciation k bawajood b dill me bugz or sb zmany me unky khilaf bht kuch krti piren to ap bataen phir wo bichary kia kren tasveer k ak yeah rukh b hy
My husband is not doing any job and my mother in law dont want to send him out of city or out of country. He is not giving me money to fullfill my needs and my father is supporting me. I am worried what i can do.
Alhamdulillah.. bht sukoon milta hy apk vlogs s.. alhamdulillah im newly married in joint family ..bt alhamdulillah sum alhamdulillah im so much happy..
Salam, Im 19 yr old im nikkahfied and shifting to london at the end of this month. I dont know how i will treat my in laws and how they will treat me im soo confused at this point of my life. Everything will change for me at the end of this year and this scares me alot.
Sorry the cases which you discussed r not at all toxic... Their just a communication gap which can be solved by heart to heart talk too... But with truthful feelings only... Toxic people r narcissistic people....
With all due respect, unfortunately, you can not have a heart to heart conversation with everyone! If someone doesn't like you regardless of what you say to them, they will never even try to understand you!
Salaam at the beginning of the year,I have a mental breakdown due to toxic in law despite not living with them . I did 100 for them . I have a strong personality , but still I was touched by the toxicity 😢😢😢
Woww very nice and realistic vlog ... MashaAllah .By the way aap ny suna hoga k saas k baad husbnd mai wo rooh ajati hy 😂😂😂 agar aik orat kich time saas k saat guzary or phir alag ho jaye tho husbnd mai wo rooh bas jati hy phir so be careful😂😂 .2ndly saas hamare maa k tarah hoti hy agar kuch zyada bol b dy tho ignor krna chahiye agar maa ki nazar sy daikhy tho bohaf easy hoga ignore krna. .. anyway waiting eagerly for the next vlog
7 years ho gy han meri shadi ko..... Bht bari joint family ma rhti hn ma..... Susral waly achy han mery or husband b bht achy or spportive han...... Lakin itny saalon ma ma ny yhi dekha ha k susral walon k kam krty rho to wo khush han..... Or agr drmiyan ma kam chor do ya koi chota mota issue create ho jay to apki sari koshishayn itny salon ki mehnat susral waly zaya kr dety han jo unko khush krny k lea ki thin,....... To is condition ma ap kya kaho gy......
Assalamualaikum wa rehmatullahi wabarkatuhu meh India seh hoon Joint family ki baat hai toh mera yeh opinion hai ki jab apny husband hame bohot izzat mohabbat karty hai apna khayal rakhty hai ,tab aurat ko koi aur risty seh problem ho chae nand ho saas ho ya koi aur rista jaha woh rehti hoi useh sabar karlyna chaiyeh sirf aur sirf apny aur apny husband k liyeh is seh Miya biwi ka rista strong ho jata hai kyue ki ek mard sari zindagi mehnat karta hai apny bewi bachoo k liyeh toh woh Ghar meh hi sukoon talash karta hai Aurat kar sabr kar jaye toh us ki zindagi aur akhirat dono asaan hojainge inshallah ❤
I feel like zadatar domestic issues aurto ke overreaction se hoti hai … saas nand ke taraf se bhi or bahu ki taraf se bhi . That is because ye rishte hi aise hai ki dono party ke log ek dusre ko zada der tak tolerate nhi kar pate in most cases . 2 alag alag family ke log ek sath reh bhi kaise sakte hai ? Shauhar ki baat alag hai but in laws are not meant to live together. Allah tala ne jo shariah bnai hai vo hi sahi hai , seperate rehna is the solution. Dur raho khushi se once in a while milo . Allah ta’ala behtar jante hai apni creation ko . It’s high time , we should normalise living separately. Uske baad aati hai baat ki alag rehne ke baad bhi to masle hote hai . That is true . Aap us problem ko puri tarah se avoid nhi kar sakte , partner ke sath apko kaise deal krna hai that’s whole another topic . Seperate reh kar atleast ek problem se to dur rhnge .
Very good positive vlog iqra . For all those who are facing challenges, always work on your emotional health, develop n learn communication skills. Never giveup your growth for any abusive person or environment. Dr kanwal kaisser lectures are very beneficial n practical.They r on you tube
Main bhi joint family me nhi rahti, lekin in laws tarah ke Tarah ke baat banate rahte hain mere bare, aur mere husband ko koi fark nhi padta, Wo mujhe har cheez dilate hain even mere gharwalo ko bhi kharcha dete hain, daliy bahar lekar jate hain , ghar ka bahut Sara kam kar dete hain, har cheez me ache hain , lekin wo apne gharwalo ke samne meri izzat nhi karte, Apne gharwalo ke aage mujhe zra bhi value nhi dete😢
Jese mari baat meri shadi ko 6 saal huwe ham sirf shadi kar k ek saal hi saath rHe hai ayr 5 saal se mere sohar bahri mulq me rehte hai kayu k meri saas aur sasur kabhi nahi chahte k ham dono saath rahe mera ek beta hai jo 5 saal ka ho chuka usne baap se nahi mila ab to kaya saas sasur aaram se sath apni zindagi jee rahe hai aur me yaha mayke me hu apne bete k saath aur sohar abrode ab muje khud ko pata nahi chalta k to mere sohar ko mere saath nahi rehna honga k fir saas sasur jimedar hai i dont no aidia
Aoa ap kid hadh tak sahi keh rahi hai laqin mei aona experience batao meine apne in-laws mei bht kiya sab ko khidmat, sab ka khayal, ghr bhi mani jati thi or shohar ka dil se khayal or kidhar phir bhi unho ne mujeh chor dia or mentally torture de k. is k bare mei kay kahengi
Jab sa mana apko ek vlog dekha han ma 3 days sa apki sab ka sab vedios dekh re ho or waqi bhut maza arha han apki vedio dekh kar in future yeh sab cheez zaroor kam aye gi jis tarah ap smjha re han ör bata re han i love they way you talking❤
I come from a traditional modern family. And coming from that I understand the approaches shared here are very logical and not just based on emotions which like you said sometimes might not work in our favor ! Keep up the good work ❤
Ye ek bht sensitive topic hai mujhe apna time yaad aagaya it’s been 5yrs but abi bhi cheeze yaad aajati hai reh unke saath hi rahe hai toh kbi bhi bht kuch hota hai but jab partner achha ho toh aisi journey bhi nikal jati hai still i’m learning ki mai kaise seekhu aise logo ko handle krna jaha ek banda apse jealous hai apko bht zada copy krta hai or uske bhi apke samne boley ki tum kuch ni ho bas mai achhi ho har cheez mai aise logo k kya krey samjh ni aata jo sirf apse negative baat hi kre apko har baat mai burai nikale 😢
@@muslimah98762 Asy logo ko ignore krna chahiya..... Asy logo sy apni batain or mamlat jahan tk mumkin ho chupana chahiya..... Thori dori rakhni chahiya...... Ya to hadees ma b ha......
One more thing I wanted to add - something that helps me always in difficult situations is : Read the Quran even if I page , even if it’s on ur mobile . Allah will solve ur matters inshallah 2nd I do astagfaar ki tasbih- naa mumkin ko mumkin kar dega Allah . 3rd - I also do Ho’oponopo technique 4th I do - meditation & mindfulness 5th I do journaling 6th I do breathwork 7th I make meaningful goals for life
Ma Sha Allah ap boht positive ha Kash ma b ap ki trah positive Hoti ma b joint family ma rahti hu Mary sat b ya sary masly han ap ny Jo 2 example di han Mary sat ya 2no masly han main bhi bahut irritate ho jaati hun main chahti Hun ki main separate ho jaaun lekin yah possible nahin hai mere husband Nahin mante 6 sal hai Meri Shaadi ko ho gy han har Tarah se Maine apny sasural ko sambhala hua hai leki kab b mare sasas ya dawro ku Sy ya kabi ne suna k humre bahu ya bhabi boht achi han hamysha yahe khty han k hum to khud apny sary Kam karty ha sasas tont karny ka koi moqa hat Sy Jany ne dyti husband khti hu to wo ak kaan Sy sun kar dosry Sy Nikal dyty han ab to ma itni
Ab to ma itni irritate ho gae hu k apni sasas Sy bat Kya ab to oun k mu ki trf dakhny ko Dil ne karta majbore ha k her Sara din ou k samny hi rhna parta ha
Basic issues start hee tb hoty haen JB husband wife aik dusray sy discuss Nahi krty blky apny apny gharo Mae discuss krty haen ya kesi aur sy krty haen. Agr Pakistan Mae partners issues room KY andr solve KR laen Tou dono sides ki family Mae koi Bura Nahi Hoga.
Assalamualaikum.. Your thinking power nd my mother thinking relates😊My mother nd I love watching ur vlogger..you always gives the motivation.. Really U r An Amazing Vlogger 🤩 Lots of love from India ❤May ur channel grow very fast😊....
Iqra, plz keep discussing dil ki baat. I just love ur advices ♥️ Comparison tou karna e nhi chahaye. Meri friend married hai, uss ka aik beta, or uss k husband Australia rehtyae. Itni toxic uss k inlaws hain, uss ko janaye e nhi detay ami abu ki taraf. Meri dosri friend b married hai, lekin uss ka husband b uss ko nhi jana detaye, bs kbhi kbhi jati thori dair k liye halan k she lives next to her parents street. I think ap ki friend ko shukar karna chhaye k wo k weekly ja sakti. Bht sa married women ko nhi allow hota hai. Or rhi bt uss ki saas ka pouchna bar bar tou wo bt galat hai. She should discuss with her husband. Ap ka husband ap ka bff hona chahye, or ap un ki, takaye easily tackle kar sakein life problems.
Dear..my SAAS is out of the world ..she is too good...3 baje uthein ratmei 3 baje soyein 6 din rehein maa k Ghar she doesn't say anythn ...but unk hissay Ka kaam jithani KR deti Hain...height to ye hai k Roz sunne KO milta hai AJ tum logon k berten garam Pani SE wash krwate aunty SE....tum log separate hojao...neeche Ka portion apna samaj k bethi Hain..hamara neeche Jana b Bura lgta hai unko berdaasht nai hota..bichari SAAS Kuch kehti nai unko support krti Hain..coz wo neeche rehti Hain...aur akele she can't live....plz Iqra pray for us k hamara b abroad Mei setting hojaye koi...I really love Ur vlogs...me n my kids too...n mere husband ne Aapka naam London wali rekhdiya hai 😂
Issues 1 . Jo lady h wo kr bhi kya skti h hmare mahasre me shohar ke sath ki zindgi ko hi acha smjha jata h I know itna kuch khud pr sehna shi nhi h mgar wo apne bache lekr kha jaegi kbhi kbhi majboriya hoti h ye sb sehne ki.. in case agar wo khud ke liye stand leti h to ldki ke gar wale aisa krne se rok dete h
Mera msla bas ye hai k Mere shohar itna kamate nahi hain jiski wajah sy hum in laws k sath rehty hain or wo log bht abusive hain Meri saas galiyan deti hai unhone ghr ma mahol bigarh k rakha hua hai or wo log chahte hain k hum unke hisab sy chalain or hum chalty b hain tb b wo log Khush nahi hoty bas financially msle masail honay ki wajah sy ye sb jhelna par rha hai pr jab paisa ata hai to SB achy ho jate hain
Mayka ho ya sasural parents tak thik h but baki log agar saath hote h jaise jeth etc to problem badhte h .. So 1. Separate kitchen 2. MIL should not control bahu guve them free hand they should take early retirement. Ye ni ki sara ghar k tension wo khud li h. 3. Husband ko friend bnaye and jo karna h dono decision kar k karye aur unko bta kar kare it will solve most of the problems. 4. Deen par chale namaz dua kare Allah behtar karega.
U can't heal in that situation which makes u sick. And ye itna easy nhi h jitna aap isko justify kr rahe ho ......how much mental health effects with a toxic sister/ mother in law you cant even imagine , itne mentally effect ho jayatein hain ki hum , kud k liye sahi choose hi kr patein ya situation asi hojati h ki hum cha k bhi nhi choose kr sakte, daily basis pe every min. Pe jo suffering h na ,to ignorance itna easy nhi hota h sab chijo ko ignor krna !! But kud ki fight kud hi ladni padti h , na parents ,na husband ....koi bhi tumhre liye stand nhi le sakta , humko bs kud apne liye stand lena padta h! !!! To speak for self/ peace.
Ive lived for a long time. Best idea is to put boundaries. Live ur life. And thats it. Trash every1. It doesnt make a big deal after boundaries.ntg has changed that ppl cant live without them. That is the fact and we r afraid to do this.
Salaam Iqra, this topic was interesting. I found the story about your friend quite interesting. I think root causes need to be addressed. Not everything is always black and white. I think some details haven't been provided. For example, who was stopping your friend from staying with her parents? Was it her husband or was this directly or indirectly advice from her parents in law? Secondly, what are the reasons she wants to be able to stay with her parents every month? What are the reasons she feels threatened by her nand? Is it because she has more pressure when she visits? Is her privacy invaded when her sis in law visits? Does she have to do more cooking and cleaning? Has her husband actually explained to her with love that he does not want her to stay overnight because he misses her. If he has done so, why is it that your friend is still coming to terms with not being able to stay overnight? I also think this topic is pretty sensitive in general. There is epidemic of girls in Pakistan who are either not allowed at all to visit their parents or allowed on a very limited basis. This background can help us understand why girls are very sensitive about having to seek permission about visiting their own parents. I got married 2.5 years ago. I never lived with my in laws as they live overseas. As I lived alone with my husband and I did not have interference from anyone, I didn't really have much desire to always visit my parents. I live in Australia and m y parents and whole family live here. The truth is, girls love spending time with their husbands. I don't think your friend has an issue with her husband. I think that she is facing some sort of control from her in laws which has caused friction. The truth is if her nand is visiting home continuously and she is invading your friends privacy or there is excessive pressure on her to cook and clean, this is not Islamic.
Joint family system mei bhot se problems hoty hain bs ignore krna parta hai... Husband acha ho to sb ignore kia ja skta h or bonding husband k sat honi chaye baki sb khud hi thek ho jaty
And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good.( 4:19). Our judging criteria is Quran. Allah guides us on this topic by saying that every person has some flaws if you be patient on the things you dislike in your partner then Allah brings about much good in other areas of your life. Therefore have taqwa of Allah over the things you dislike in people around you and expect your reward for Allah and see the immense blessings in your other affairs and know that this is the fruit of your patience in one matter that caused you distress.
Asalam o alikum sukar hai aap aagai kab sey Mey aapko RUclips par dond rahi ti😅 bilkul correct life eysi nahi banti bohat Kuch bardasht karna avoid karna or sabar karna phir insaan wact or halat sey kod hi teek hojata hai but in sab Mey aapka partner bohat important role play karta hai mey ney bi bohat Kuch bardasht kiya sacrifice kiye sabar Kiya but meyrey husband ki ik Aachi or tasali wali baat muj Mey phir sey dam bardeyti hai Allah sab key husband ko salamat rakey aamin
Inam from India and loved listening u...I simply love u...I really admire u and boost up in my daily life ..pls take my name in your blog once 😊...Keep up the good work and be cheerful .You have a beautiful voice
Thts good tht u helped the other lady to reflect on themselves first .. but this culture must b stopped any how ..sharing with in laws and if u wid a toxic partner then move on .. Allah bahot bada hai .. sb kar dega
Aoa! Iqra ap ne buht achi baten ki hy yaqeen mane meri tu zehan sy boj hat giya. Ap bhut Acha bolti hy or muje buht achi lagti hy I love you so much. Ap ne next vlog main mera name zaror laina hy main peshawar k eik choti sy gaon ki pathani hun .Allah ap ko hamesha khush or abad rakhen ameen.Urdu main agr ghalti hun tu ignore kardy q k main pushto bolti hun😊
Jab apka vloge ata hai mai ktna khush hoti hu ap yakeen he nhi kar paoge love from kashmir ❤ aur mre liye dua kro tuhajud k tym mra nikah raza se ho plz plz plz plz
No disrespect to u Iqra but 1 baar humari Balaji serials dekho in mahila-on kahiyye . Sara handle karna aa jayega ! Komolika yaad h in - Kasauti xindagi ki And Tulsi of Kyuki saas bi kabhi bhu thi I would say just choose your approach from these 2 characters 😅. Ya to Kamolika ban jao Ya Tulsi ban jao
Dear Iqra, I am fairly new to your channel and this is the first time I watched your dil ki baat series. MashaAllah I am blown away by your wisdom and gentleness and insight. I love that you are trying to help others through your channel. Keep up the great work and looking fwd to more. May Allah preserve your good intentions and accept your efforts.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot ❤
There should be no kitchen sharing in joint family. It will end most issues.. wife should be provided with separate portion with her own kitchen.... seriously it will make alot of things easy
Exactly...mostly ghar mein fasad ki jar kitchn ka kam hy... Werna safae n laundry tu aj kal hr jgga masi kr jati hy... Bs reh jata hy khana pkana
I’m living in joint family but Allahumduillah I am so much happy and want to live with my in laws happily the reason behind is my mil she is totally love she never treat me like dil she always treated me like her daughter and same with my sil they all are loving too koi rok tok nahi ane Jane mai khane penne mai sone jagne mai no never the reason behind all scene is my lovely mil ❤
Muje aap ka vlog es liye hi acha lagta hai k itna sakoon hota hai koi chik chik nai alhmdulliha or Allah pak hamesha es tara hi rkahe ameeeen or baki rehi sab k saath mil kar rehna muje apni saas k saath es liye acha lagta tha k ek baro ka dar rehta hai insan wo kaam nai karta jo hame badh mein pata lagta hai k ye bare hote to hum nai karte ek yani ek baat ye k jab merj saas zinda thi to mein aone miaa jee se itna jagra nai karti thi dar hota tha k wo sone gee to kia kehne gee ye nai wo bohat zalim thi itna hi jitna ekmaa baap apno beti ho kehte hao shaud ys b bohat kammaa to maar b leti thi par wo bas baat hi karte thy shayd meri baat samaj naa aay par es tara ki bohat sari bate hame rokti hai jo hamre liye theek nai hoti baro k gher par hone ki waja se ye muje on k jane k badh pata laga Allah pak on ko jannat mein aallah muqam de ameeeen ya rab
Bohat khoob... Kitni clear baten hai aapki... Not married yet but yes simple issues ko bada bana kar rishte kharab hojate hai... Agar ham aqal se kaam len tou bohat sarey masle hal honge... Rahi baat abuse ki tou woh sarasar galat hai... Islam mai koi jagah nhi uski.
Jo problem Apne batai me wo dono face ker Rai hon 14 Saal hogaey mere shadi ko 4 bachy hain mere or mjy nai permission k me mama k Ghar ja kar Raat rahon 1 month Baad he jati hon or bus kehna ye ha k AP agar apni feeling ko side me rakh ker husband or in k Ghar walo ka khayl rakho to boht cheezy theek ho jati hain jawab nai deti bus Jo good ho sakta ha wo kerti hon sari dunia Bhool chuki hon bacho or husband k lea .baqi Allah pak se Dua kia kro k sub ki life's ki problem door ho jaen wo din kehta me b kehti wo Raat boly me b bolti bus Kuch time kerti Rai to 100 me se 70 percent problem solve hui me ne khud ko Kuch time k lea sambhal dia or doosro k lea jeya but AJ khud k lea b boht kerti hon aik dukh ha Mera k mere mama foot ho Gai or mje UN k Sath time nai Mila k me guzarti bus 😭😭😭😭
Allah apko sabar ka phal dega
I don’t think unke kehne ki raat ya din bolna,ya poori duniya bhooljana ya apni
Maa se na milna koi healthy relationship define kar raha hai so aapke liye toh work kar raha hai lekin to advise that to others probably is not right.Yes,most sacrifices/compromises only the woman makes and then the relationship works but to make the man decide whether it’s day or night is wrong.Allah ne hum sabko shaoor aur aqal dee hai toh wo use karna hamara kaam hai.For eg agar wo kahen ke raat bhar so nahi toh hum kuch din toh karlenge lekin uske baad toh Soenge naa kyunki neend aajaegi kyunki aapki aqal aapse kahegi ke bus abh jism saath chodh raha hai.Bus usi tarah khuda ka nizam change karna unka ya kisi ka kaam nahi hai.Toh qudrat ne maa se mohabbat karna aur usko waqt dena ya duniya se waasta rakhna ye sab wajib rakha hai,kisi ek ke aas paas agar duniya sametni hai toh wo sirf Allah ke paas sametni hai na
ke husband ke.
Very touchedddddd Allah Har khusi se nawaze apku
Yes you said very much true.. Gut feeling.... Intuition never mislead us...
Assalamualikeum Iqra, just similar to your other vlogs this one's very productive too especially the one's that closely emphasises on the societal and patriarchal issues.With reference to the topic, I'd say most of what you said is accurate.Ignoring small things and letting go is not just a wise act but even in our beautiful religion it's appreciated on a vast magnitude.Whereas i believe in some cases letting go turns out to be an act of promotion as the person on the other end percieves it as innocence and lenience.This builds upto some extent where the situation eventually escalates thereof it's crucial to set healthy boundaries for people to share the same space in bliss and harmony.
Dear ap ne sahi kaha sb gray hn kahin py bahu itni toxic mentality rakhti hn k apki soch hy dunya ki hr naimat hony k bawajud love marriage or sb inlaws ki appreciation k bawajood b dill me bugz or sb zmany me unky khilaf bht kuch krti piren to ap bataen phir wo bichary kia kren tasveer k ak yeah rukh b hy
My husband is not doing any job and my mother in law dont want to send him out of city or out of country. He is not giving me money to fullfill my needs and my father is supporting me. I am worried what i can do.
Alhamdulillah.. bht sukoon milta hy apk vlogs s.. alhamdulillah im newly married in joint family ..bt alhamdulillah sum alhamdulillah im so much happy..
Aap ki baat mujhe bilkul sahi lagi in-law wali aap ne bilkul sahi kaha bahut si baton ko Nazar andaz karna padta hai
Bed sheet kahan sy buy kiya hay yellow one?
Salam, Im 19 yr old im nikkahfied and shifting to london at the end of this month. I dont know how i will treat my in laws and how they will treat me im soo confused at this point of my life. Everything will change for me at the end of this year and this scares me alot.
Congratulation sister and I'll also go uk bcz my husband live in uk but I'm in fix I'm going to be late to go in uk
Just respect them and it will take time to get to know each other so don't rush and don't make small thing big, good luck
Sorry the cases which you discussed r not at all toxic... Their just a communication gap which can be solved by heart to heart talk too... But with truthful feelings only... Toxic people r narcissistic people....
With all due respect, unfortunately, you can not have a heart to heart conversation with everyone! If someone doesn't like you regardless of what you say to them, they will never even try to understand you!
👍👍
Couldn't be more agree with you
May Allah pak bless us all the righteous spouse and good in-laws Ameen Sumameen
Lol not only narcissistic dude!!
U cant change the nature and the mindset even. Negative people are negative always .
Salaam at the beginning of the year,I have a mental breakdown due to toxic in law despite not living with them . I did 100 for them . I have a strong personality , but still I was touched by the toxicity 😢😢😢
Woww very nice and realistic vlog ... MashaAllah .By the way aap ny suna hoga k saas k baad husbnd mai wo rooh ajati hy 😂😂😂 agar aik orat kich time saas k saat guzary or phir alag ho jaye tho husbnd mai wo rooh bas jati hy phir so be careful😂😂 .2ndly saas hamare maa k tarah hoti hy agar kuch zyada bol b dy tho ignor krna chahiye agar maa ki nazar sy daikhy tho bohaf easy hoga ignore krna. .. anyway waiting eagerly for the next vlog
7 years ho gy han meri shadi ko..... Bht bari joint family ma rhti hn ma..... Susral waly achy han mery or husband b bht achy or spportive han...... Lakin itny saalon ma ma ny yhi dekha ha k susral walon k kam krty rho to wo khush han..... Or agr drmiyan ma kam chor do ya koi chota mota issue create ho jay to apki sari koshishayn itny salon ki mehnat susral waly zaya kr dety han jo unko khush krny k lea ki thin,.......
To is condition ma ap kya kaho gy......
Assalamualaikum wa rehmatullahi wabarkatuhu meh India seh hoon
Joint family ki baat hai toh mera yeh opinion hai ki jab apny husband hame bohot izzat mohabbat karty hai apna khayal rakhty hai ,tab aurat ko koi aur risty seh problem ho chae nand ho saas ho ya koi aur rista jaha woh rehti hoi useh sabar karlyna chaiyeh sirf aur sirf apny aur apny husband k liyeh is seh Miya biwi ka rista strong ho jata hai kyue ki ek mard sari zindagi mehnat karta hai apny bewi bachoo k liyeh toh woh Ghar meh hi sukoon talash karta hai
Aurat kar sabr kar jaye toh us ki zindagi aur akhirat dono asaan hojainge inshallah ❤
Very nice insight mashaaallah
The only thing unbearable thing is disrespectful inlaws who crosses your bounday passes racial remarks and taunts
Dear ap ne ye bedsheet kahan sy lia.. bht achi ha
Api ap bedsheet kah sy lati hain uk ma ..?
I feel like zadatar domestic issues aurto ke overreaction se hoti hai … saas nand ke taraf se bhi or bahu ki taraf se bhi . That is because ye rishte hi aise hai ki dono party ke log ek dusre ko zada der tak tolerate nhi kar pate in most cases . 2 alag alag family ke log ek sath reh bhi kaise sakte hai ? Shauhar ki baat alag hai but in laws are not meant to live together. Allah tala ne jo shariah bnai hai vo hi sahi hai , seperate rehna is the solution. Dur raho khushi se once in a while milo .
Allah ta’ala behtar jante hai apni creation ko . It’s high time , we should normalise living separately.
Uske baad aati hai baat ki alag rehne ke baad bhi to masle hote hai . That is true . Aap us problem ko puri tarah se avoid nhi kar sakte , partner ke sath apko kaise deal krna hai that’s whole another topic . Seperate reh kar atleast ek problem se to dur rhnge .
Mashallah Iqra your contents are so so good , watching your vlogs are now a therapy for me, you deserve more followers.
Very good positive vlog iqra .
For all those who are facing challenges, always work on your emotional health, develop n learn communication skills. Never giveup your growth for any abusive person or environment. Dr kanwal kaisser lectures are very beneficial n practical.They r on you tube
Where do you get your bed covers from and is your double or king size??
Main bhi joint family me nhi rahti, lekin in laws tarah ke Tarah ke baat banate rahte hain mere bare, aur mere husband ko koi fark nhi padta,
Wo mujhe har cheez dilate hain even mere gharwalo ko bhi kharcha dete hain, daliy bahar lekar jate hain , ghar ka bahut Sara kam kar dete hain, har cheez me ache hain , lekin wo apne gharwalo ke samne meri izzat nhi karte,
Apne gharwalo ke aage mujhe zra bhi value nhi dete😢
where do u buy ur bed sheets from
Jese mari baat meri shadi ko 6 saal huwe ham sirf shadi kar k ek saal hi saath rHe hai ayr 5 saal se mere sohar bahri mulq me rehte hai kayu k meri saas aur sasur kabhi nahi chahte k ham dono saath rahe mera ek beta hai jo 5 saal ka ho chuka usne baap se nahi mila ab to kaya saas sasur aaram se sath apni zindagi jee rahe hai aur me yaha mayke me hu apne bete k saath aur sohar abrode ab muje khud ko pata nahi chalta k to mere sohar ko mere saath nahi rehna honga k fir saas sasur jimedar hai i dont no aidia
Aoa ap kid hadh tak sahi keh rahi hai laqin mei aona experience batao meine apne in-laws mei bht kiya sab ko khidmat, sab ka khayal, ghr bhi mani jati thi or shohar ka dil se khayal or kidhar phir bhi unho ne mujeh chor dia or mentally torture de k. is k bare mei kay kahengi
Please tell me from did you get your bedsheets??
Jab sa mana apko ek vlog dekha han ma 3 days sa apki sab ka sab vedios dekh re ho or waqi bhut maza arha han apki vedio dekh kar in future yeh sab cheez zaroor kam aye gi jis tarah ap smjha re han ör bata re han i love they way you talking❤
I see your vlog full without skip.first about surah Bakra and 🎉
I come from a traditional modern family. And coming from that I understand the approaches shared here are very logical and not just based on emotions which like you said sometimes might not work in our favor !
Keep up the good work ❤
Ye ek bht sensitive topic hai mujhe apna time yaad aagaya it’s been 5yrs but abi bhi cheeze yaad aajati hai reh unke saath hi rahe hai toh kbi bhi bht kuch hota hai but jab partner achha ho toh aisi journey bhi nikal jati hai still i’m learning ki mai kaise seekhu aise logo ko handle krna jaha ek banda apse jealous hai apko bht zada copy krta hai or uske bhi apke samne boley ki tum kuch ni ho bas mai achhi ho har cheez mai aise logo k kya krey samjh ni aata jo sirf apse negative baat hi kre apko har baat mai burai nikale 😢
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@@muslimah98762
Asy logo ko ignore krna chahiya.....
Asy logo sy apni batain or mamlat jahan tk mumkin ho chupana chahiya..... Thori dori rakhni chahiya...... Ya to hadees ma b ha......
Who copied you darling 😂..
I have similar case of copying 😂
How do we reach out to u
Without instagram like what other way.
Plz reply?
Iqra aapki baat bilkul shi hai, aap narrate bhut acha krty hain!
If i can go back i would have my mum in law living with us as Alhumdulillah she is the best. Now gone Heaven.
very niceee
aainda me b friday kp special banao gi me akeli hoti to souchti hu k choro but abb beti bhari ho ri usko b batao gi
Actual point to be noted 12:30
Mje Apka blog dekh k bada Sukun milte h ek positive vibes aati h I love your vlog plz daily upload.specially dil ki baat ❤very well Said
One more thing I wanted to add - something that helps me always in difficult situations is :
Read the Quran even if I page , even if it’s on ur mobile .
Allah will solve ur matters inshallah
2nd I do astagfaar ki tasbih- naa mumkin ko mumkin kar dega Allah .
3rd - I also do Ho’oponopo technique
4th I do - meditation & mindfulness
5th I do journaling
6th I do breathwork
7th I make meaningful goals for life
How do you know which one of these actually works for you?
what is your bed size and which foam is this ?
Ma Sha Allah ap boht positive ha Kash ma b ap ki trah positive Hoti ma b joint family ma rahti hu Mary sat b ya sary masly han ap ny Jo 2 example di han Mary sat ya 2no masly han main bhi bahut irritate ho jaati hun main chahti Hun ki main separate ho jaaun lekin yah possible nahin hai mere husband Nahin mante 6 sal hai Meri Shaadi ko ho gy han har Tarah se Maine apny sasural ko sambhala hua hai leki kab b mare sasas ya dawro ku Sy ya kabi ne suna k humre bahu ya bhabi boht achi han hamysha yahe khty han k hum to khud apny sary Kam karty ha sasas tont karny ka koi moqa hat Sy Jany ne dyti husband khti hu to wo ak kaan Sy sun kar dosry Sy Nikal dyty han ab to ma itni
Ab to ma itni irritate ho gae hu k apni sasas Sy bat Kya ab to oun k mu ki trf dakhny ko Dil ne karta majbore ha k her Sara din ou k samny hi rhna parta ha
Iqra aap kitna accha bolti hain
Basic issues start hee tb hoty haen JB husband wife aik dusray sy discuss Nahi krty blky apny apny gharo Mae discuss krty haen ya kesi aur sy krty haen. Agr Pakistan Mae partners issues room KY andr solve KR laen Tou dono sides ki family Mae koi Bura Nahi Hoga.
Assalamualaikum..
Your thinking power nd my mother thinking relates😊My mother nd I love watching ur vlogger..you always gives the motivation.. Really U r An Amazing Vlogger 🤩 Lots of love from India ❤May ur channel grow very fast😊....
Aslam o alikum api.m SBB sy pehly ap ka thnxxx krti hn k ap ka vlog aya.nd now comment kr k pora vlog dekho gi😂
Iqra, plz keep discussing dil ki baat. I just love ur advices ♥️
Comparison tou karna e nhi chahaye. Meri friend married hai, uss ka aik beta, or uss k husband Australia rehtyae. Itni toxic uss k inlaws hain, uss ko janaye e nhi detay ami abu ki taraf. Meri dosri friend b married hai, lekin uss ka husband b uss ko nhi jana detaye, bs kbhi kbhi jati thori dair k liye halan k she lives next to her parents street. I think ap ki friend ko shukar karna chhaye k wo k weekly ja sakti. Bht sa married women ko nhi allow hota hai. Or rhi bt uss ki saas ka pouchna bar bar tou wo bt galat hai. She should discuss with her husband. Ap ka husband ap ka bff hona chahye, or ap un ki, takaye easily tackle kar sakein life problems.
Exactly I agree
Dear..my SAAS is out of the world ..she is too good...3 baje uthein ratmei 3 baje soyein 6 din rehein maa k Ghar she doesn't say anythn ...but unk hissay Ka kaam jithani KR deti Hain...height to ye hai k Roz sunne KO milta hai AJ tum logon k berten garam Pani SE wash krwate aunty SE....tum log separate hojao...neeche Ka portion apna samaj k bethi Hain..hamara neeche Jana b Bura lgta hai unko berdaasht nai hota..bichari SAAS Kuch kehti nai unko support krti Hain..coz wo neeche rehti Hain...aur akele she can't live....plz Iqra pray for us k hamara b abroad Mei setting hojaye koi...I really love Ur vlogs...me n my kids too...n mere husband ne Aapka naam London wali rekhdiya hai 😂
Mari 5 nandy hy mashaAllah say or husbnd bhe booht caring hy
Mujhy ap ki videos dekh k bht acha lagta h r ap ki is video sy mane bht kuch seekha
Issues 1 . Jo lady h wo kr bhi kya skti h hmare mahasre me shohar ke sath ki zindgi ko hi acha smjha jata h I know itna kuch khud pr sehna shi nhi h mgar wo apne bache lekr kha jaegi kbhi kbhi majboriya hoti h ye sb sehne ki.. in case agar wo khud ke liye stand leti h to ldki ke gar wale aisa krne se rok dete h
I seriously love love love your vlogs 💖💖💖 such a feeling of calmness after watching them 💖
You are such a beautiful soul
❤❤❤
Zabardast vlog 👌
Es py mzeed bt honi chahye n yes you are absolutely right...... gut feelings to true hoti bs hm hi neglect kr rhy hoty
Mashallah very nice 👍way of explanation 😘😘😘😘ur great sister
True true true aisa ni hota bilkul Iqra me bhi Germany me hu bs dooor se sb acha lgta h
Bahut shii kaha h aapne ..
Assalamualaikum IQRA
Well said👍... Totally agree with your point of view
Lovely vlog Iqra! ❤
Mera msla bas ye hai k Mere shohar itna kamate nahi hain jiski wajah sy hum in laws k sath rehty hain or wo log bht abusive hain Meri saas galiyan deti hai unhone ghr ma mahol bigarh k rakha hua hai or wo log chahte hain k hum unke hisab sy chalain or hum chalty b hain tb b wo log Khush nahi hoty bas financially msle masail honay ki wajah sy ye sb jhelna par rha hai pr jab paisa ata hai to SB achy ho jate hain
Mayka ho ya sasural parents tak thik h but baki log agar saath hote h jaise jeth etc to problem badhte h ..
So
1. Separate kitchen
2. MIL should not control bahu guve them free hand they should take early retirement. Ye ni ki sara ghar k tension wo khud li h.
3. Husband ko friend bnaye and jo karna h dono decision kar k karye aur unko bta kar kare it will solve most of the problems.
4. Deen par chale namaz dua kare Allah behtar karega.
U can't heal in that situation which makes u sick.
And ye itna easy nhi h jitna aap isko justify kr rahe ho ......how much mental health effects with a toxic sister/ mother in law you cant even imagine , itne mentally effect ho jayatein hain ki hum , kud k liye sahi choose hi kr patein ya situation asi hojati h ki hum cha k bhi nhi choose kr sakte, daily basis pe every min. Pe jo suffering h na ,to ignorance itna easy nhi hota h sab chijo ko ignor krna !!
But kud ki fight kud hi ladni padti h , na parents ,na husband ....koi bhi tumhre liye stand nhi le sakta , humko bs kud apne liye stand lena padta h! !!! To speak for self/ peace.
Iqra hamesha acchi baate batati h god bless you dear
Hey mujy apsey baat krne hai
Kitchen sharing is mothing kitchen sharing to kaam baat ti hain but aik dusre say respectful home ki shadeed zururi hai
A. O. A Kasi hn ap iqra iss Desi issu ka koi hll nahi ha ya issu tha ha aur hamesha rahy ga ma ap k point of view sy agreed hon
MashahAllah you are very positive person ....
Ive lived for a long time. Best idea is to put boundaries. Live ur life. And thats it. Trash every1. It doesnt make a big deal after boundaries.ntg has changed that ppl cant live without them. That is the fact and we r afraid to do this.
Salaam Iqra, this topic was interesting. I found the story about your friend quite interesting. I think root causes need to be addressed. Not everything is always black and white.
I think some details haven't been provided. For example, who was stopping your friend from staying with her parents? Was it her husband or was this directly or indirectly advice from her parents in law?
Secondly, what are the reasons she wants to be able to stay with her parents every month? What are the reasons she feels threatened by her nand? Is it because she has more pressure when she visits? Is her privacy invaded when her sis in law visits? Does she have to do more cooking and cleaning?
Has her husband actually explained to her with love that he does not want her to stay overnight because he misses her. If he has done so, why is it that your friend is still coming to terms with not being able to stay overnight?
I also think this topic is pretty sensitive in general. There is epidemic of girls in Pakistan who are either not allowed at all to visit their parents or allowed on a very limited basis. This background can help us understand why girls are very sensitive about having to seek permission about visiting their own parents.
I got married 2.5 years ago. I never lived with my in laws as they live overseas. As I lived alone with my husband and I did not have interference from anyone, I didn't really have much desire to always visit my parents. I live in Australia and m y parents and whole family live here. The truth is, girls love spending time with their husbands. I don't think your friend has an issue with her husband. I think that she is facing some sort of control from her in laws which has caused friction.
The truth is if her nand is visiting home continuously and she is invading your friends privacy or there is excessive pressure on her to cook and clean, this is not Islamic.
Plz daily velog banaya kry.amy both besabri sy intezar rahta a app k velog ka
You should do more videos like this ❤
Bahot bahot achhi baat huyi is topiq pe par kahi jaga baat bilkul alag hi hoti hai 😢😢😢😢😢
Mujhe ap k sb vlogs buht buht achy lgty
Joint family system mei bhot se problems hoty hain bs ignore krna parta hai... Husband acha ho to sb ignore kia ja skta h or bonding husband k sat honi chaye baki sb khud hi thek ho jaty
And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good.( 4:19).
Our judging criteria is Quran. Allah guides us on this topic by saying that every person has some flaws if you be patient on the things you dislike in your partner then Allah brings about much good in other areas of your life. Therefore have taqwa of Allah over the things you dislike in people around you and expect your reward for Allah and see the immense blessings in your other affairs and know that this is the fruit of your patience in one matter that caused you distress.
Asalam o alikum sukar hai aap aagai kab sey Mey aapko RUclips par dond rahi ti😅 bilkul correct life eysi nahi banti bohat Kuch bardasht karna avoid karna or sabar karna phir insaan wact or halat sey kod hi teek hojata hai but in sab Mey aapka partner bohat important role play karta hai mey ney bi bohat Kuch bardasht kiya sacrifice kiye sabar Kiya but meyrey husband ki ik Aachi or tasali wali baat muj Mey phir sey dam bardeyti hai Allah sab key husband ko salamat rakey aamin
Very well said ❤❤
Inam from India and loved listening u...I simply love u...I really admire u and boost up in my daily life ..pls take my name in your blog once 😊...Keep up the good work and be cheerful .You have a beautiful voice
Thts good tht u helped the other lady to reflect on themselves first .. but this culture must b stopped any how ..sharing with in laws and if u wid a toxic partner then move on .. Allah bahot bada hai .. sb kar dega
12:29 exactly bhut sare roop hote hsin ❤❤❤❤❤
Very nice sharing ❤
Comparison itself is wrong... Every person is unique n so his or her fate too...
Aoa! Iqra ap ne buht achi baten ki hy yaqeen mane meri tu zehan sy boj hat giya. Ap bhut Acha bolti hy or muje buht achi lagti hy I love you so much. Ap ne next vlog main mera name zaror laina hy main peshawar k eik choti sy gaon ki pathani hun .Allah ap ko hamesha khush or abad rakhen ameen.Urdu main agr ghalti hun tu ignore kardy q k main pushto bolti hun😊
Assalamualaikum appi plz emotional strong kaise bane pe next vlog banaiye plz plz I request you in detail
Thank you iqra for discussing this topic ... I really want to share something without about my in laws
Jab apka vloge ata hai mai ktna khush hoti hu ap yakeen he nhi kar paoge love from kashmir ❤ aur mre liye dua kro tuhajud k tym mra nikah raza se ho plz plz plz plz
No disrespect to u Iqra but 1 baar humari Balaji serials dekho in mahila-on kahiyye . Sara handle karna aa jayega !
Komolika yaad h in -
Kasauti xindagi ki
And Tulsi of Kyuki saas bi kabhi bhu thi
I would say just choose your approach from these 2 characters 😅.
Ya to Kamolika ban jao
Ya Tulsi ban jao
Mujhe hamesha intezar rehta hai apk vlogs ka ❤
I am your fan here . Aisa lagta hai k own sis bat karrahi hain
I love your Dil ki baat. May Allah bless you.
Love u Iqra app nay meray dil ki baat kerdi 😊
MashaAllah you so young
But more 😊sensible
Aap kitna v due chali Jaen ye toxic in-laws apka pichha nhi chhorte mai v gulf me rahti hun lekin ye log kahin jine nhi dete 😢
Nice vlog mashallah
Walaikum assalam api ❤
👌
💐
Nice video mashallah ❤
Nice dil ki baat aur beautiful vlog de❤