Story Time: 3 Things I Learned About Being Bipolar
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2021
- DISCLOSURE: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. THIS VIDEO SHOULD NOT BE INTERPRETED AS MEDICAL ADVICE OR OPINION. I'm just a person with a diagnosis and experience dealing with it. I highly recommend seeking help from a trained professional if you suspect you are Bipolar, or need guidance on treatment for Bipolar Disorder.
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MY FIRST BIPOLAR VIDEO:
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FYI I will be deleting all misinformation and pseudoscience in the comments. It's toxic and harmful and I want people who spread disinfo to be uncomfortable in my community.
I agree ❤
Thank you for this helps me know how to communicate better, also can't wait to listen to your music!
Hi , J from Pa. Thank you so much. This video really helped me. It’s so true and comforting to know that others understand. There are others such as my family members who don’t understand this and they are afraid of it so they just don’t get involved and they disappeared from my life because of my behavior before I was diagnosed. They don’t give anyone a second chance after they mess up one time.
I just got a new calendar so I’m going to monitor my disease on that. Great idea. Thanks
Good luck with your music you sound awesome.
I had to look up pseudo science , that’s a good idea
This is honestly just the best advice I've ever heard from one BP2 to another. I think the tension between adding activities while hypomanic and not being able to perform while depressed is one of the most difficult day-to-day experiences for me.
It's awful! But I find that if I take things day-by-day it makes a big difference.
It still sucks to feel like you can't confidently schedule things out a long way in advance, cause sometimes the day comes and it's just exhausting.
Stay well! Thanks for watching!
When I'm having a depressive episode I've found that trying to fix it makes everything worse. Sometimes the best thing to do is ride the wave and rest if you can. I definitely have to let my parents (who I live with) know when I'm in a mixed episode because I will become a snappy/nasty person at times but I don't mean anything I say or do. Thank you for this video, everything you said resonates with me. I think that this will be a good one to show the people in my life to give them a deeper understanding of how this effects me.
Also, when I'm hypomanic on meds (takes the edge off) I 100% use it to get shit done. I once went on a road trip with some friends as the sole driver and being in that up phase helped me stay alert for a very long time. So it can be helpful. Off meds though is so so dangerous, I reach absolutely delusional levels.
Even I could not have talked about my life this well the way you have described my life, Sir.
It's a little weird right! It's been reassuring for me to feel like other people have experienced the same thing, even if it can be tough for all of us.
Upswing always starts with early morning waking for me, like 4am kind of thing… then I start getting into some magical thinking and I want to listen to music a lot… and louder, hectic tempo/experimental.
I've been tracking my moods much more regularly by journaling every morning, and I'm learning the same thing about myself! I can notice an upswing a few days earlier if I notice I'm waking up in the middle of the night, even if it's not for very long.
Thanks again Alden: good advice. You're very eloquent. One thing I'd add is that sometimes the illness is too strong for insight. It becomes psychotic (delusional) and reason doesn't work well. That's where meds are very helpful, and life-saving - literally.
Thanks again. I'll be using your advice.
This is a very good point! Perspective will only take you so far, and I hope I didn't imply otherwise. I have another video that clarifies my opinion on meds and my experience with diagnosis. I'm medicated myself and very happy with my treatment plan. :)
Thanks for your perspective and thank you for supporting the channel!
My sis was recently diagnosed with Bipolar… thanks for this .
This helped so much. It’s been so weird finding out I’m bipolar and I’ve been aware but with no tools. Thank you
Wow... great informational video. I know those "up" episodes, when I have the feeling that I should and can help everybody and also offer that help. I throw myself in all kind of tasks and commitments. It's great in the beginning but after some weeks I start to lose all energy and struggle just to get my own things done... it feels horrible. And of course, it's hard to explain, what's going on with me, why I am not even capable of answering the phone anymore.
Unfortunately, I've made the experience, that many people, including very close relatives, did not really accept my explanation and indicated to me that I should please function as normal.
This is very relatable - thank you for sharing : )
I think that, to add to the point about being okay with asking for and accepting help, it’s also important because it helps your loved ones hang out with you when they want to rather than being shut out. I just went through a depressive episode where I got to the point where I was sleeping all day (which to be sure was partly because of the meds I was on). When my partner got home from work one day, he coaxed my hand from my face, helped carry me into the bathroom, and washed me up. I was crying because it felt so embarrassing to sleep all day and then have someone bathe me, but it also helped him. Because after, he got to spend time watching TV with me in the living room after a day of work. Your loved ones want to enjoy your company and sometimes accepting their help is a part of that process.
Having support in those especially bad moments makes a world of difference. Even something as simple as ordering food delivery can be a world changing experience.
You're right. People feel good when they're able to make a difference in the lives of the people they love. If you don't allow them to help, you're doing them a disservice too.
Glad you have loved ones who support you! Thanks for sharing your experience!
Great story Alden! Great advice! Thanks for sharing and encouraging.
Thank you for this video, your information was really helpful to me!
Looking for your music and found this video. Thank you for making this and being so open about being bipolar. I have known people in my life who are bipolar and this helps me have a better understanding of them. Great video, Thanks again Alden
Wow, I’m surprised this video doesn’t have more views. Very well made, love your studio!
How do you hold down a regular job with your mood swings like you describe? This is a serious and honest question. I'm over a year in on my break from working. 10 months of that was me just sitting at home going through all these horrible emotions and body responses related to a combo of bipolar II and CPTSD. I was a mess. Had actually quit my job because it was too much. I'd never done that before. In the past (I'm 53) I've always been able to fake it, or something in my life would change and I'd have to change jobs or situations. I'm just now experiencing BPII without a lot of the CPTSD and it's quite a revelation. This spring I just experienced my first lengthy hypomanic episode in my life. Usually, they'd last for a couple days, then it was back to being depressed and anxious for months. Now, it's a whole new ballgame and I'm wondering how I'm going to manage a regular job. IF it's even possible. I want to find this out before I blow all my money on living expenses and a master's degree I cannot use. Any info would be super helpful. OH and BTW, in your other video I mentioned some supplements that helped me. I"m a super sciency, need some evidence, kinda person. When I told my new doc I wanted to try to manage my BP without meds he recommended Folid Acid and B-100s. I looked it up and there is some solid research behind it. In fact, you tell the story of how you finally were convinced that you really had BP, mine is kinda similar. I was diagnosed a few years ago, but the psychiatrist who tested me, nor his wife my therapist, could tell me why they thought I had it. So it went untreated and I kept thinking it was BS. But I continued to search for information online. Legit info... :) I finally found a book last year that helped me so much. The depression and bipolar workbook : 30 ways to lift your mood and strengthen the brain
by Aiken, Chris. It helped me see how many different ways BPII can manifest. THEN, in July last year I found myself unable to get out of bed. My cat needed food and I didn't care... it was that bad. But, I'd purchased a folic acid sublingual supplement and forced myself to try it. And I kid you not... 15 minutes later I could function. It doesn't always work that fast, and sometimes I'm just too gone, but I take 1200mcg twice a day with B12 AND a daily vitamin with B-100 twice a day. That reaction, and because it was repeatable for over a year, is why I've settled in with the diagnosis. The article I referenced in your other video got me to try the OTC Lithium Oratate 5mg sublingual and Taurine yesterday during an agitative hypomanic cycle... and the same thing happened with it that happened with the folic acid. Nevertheless, from what I've read, B-100 and folic acid help people who take meds too. So, there you are. If you want me to drop you the articles I'm happy to dig them out of my Favorites. Nice to "meet" you.
I've only worked 9 months out of the last 3 years. I'm working on disability
Hi Im 60 recently diagnosed BP2 . I now dont work and focus on my quality of life .
There are functioning alcoholics in great jobs . But thé question is maybe you need to réinvent your self and explore other meaningful activités . Gotta keep thé little monster in thé pocket . Cant have it leaping out and ruining your plans . I dont put any pressure on m'y self . I am mentaly handicapped and Im gonna enjoy thé avantages .
I tell everyone Im mentaly handicapped to help society accept this type of illness .
Ive succeeded in life because I am still alive after forty years of serious suffering and chaos .
Time out nothing more to prove .
This is most honest, thoughtful, inspiring, and legitimately helpful I’ve found thus far on this. Thank you ❤
you have no idea how helpful this video is! you phrased it so so well and put things into perspective
i hope you have all the success in life ❤ you deserve it!!
this just explains how important it is to have self awareness when you're mentally ill and distinguish what is and what isn't in our control
Thank you for sharing and being so honest! Your explanation about recognizing and checking in on where we are with our mood state is so helpful because I never thought how it can inform everything else and what you are able to do at any given date. Time and time again, I felt high mood and overcommitted to help others and thinking I will be able to ride it and then BAM, I start all of a sudden on day going down and can’t seem to stop. Then being in a low mood, feel so guilty for not being my “old state or ‘normal’ “ I can keep helping & feeling positive…. So powerful reflections. Thank you FOR supporting on my MH journey.
So glad I found you! I relate majorly!
Thanks for posting your tips/experience. As someone who has bipolar II, too, I find it hard to find peeps talk about bipolar 2 like this on RUclips, so this is really helpful!
Kia ora from NZ, Fellow bipolar 2 person, also musician, really digging the track.
Managing bipolar, having the support and being mindful of where your at for your self and those around you is so important, I really dig your thoughts on the disorder.
Keep up the mahi (hard work), we can only learn and grow.
Incredibly helpful ❤️
Very well said Alden thanks for sharing, helps me look at my life from the outside a bit better.
I'm glad it was helpful to you! Thanks for supporting the channel.
i was diagnosed last summer. Thanks for this video.
It feels good to hear someone who goes through the same things I go through day to day … thanks 🙏
Thanks for watching! Glad it was helpful to you :)
From another BP2 person, thanks for sharing. It helps out the community
I'm glad it was helpful. Thanks for supporting the channel!
This is the best advice i couldve received. Thanks a lot!
Hell yeah. Glad it connected. Hope it serves you as well as it's served me.
So helpful man, thank you. I’ll be revisiting this a couple of times I think…
I'm glad it was helpful to you! Thanks for watching :)
I feel so felt conscious drawing attention to myself by calling on my moods but that does make sense to be open
Ultimately we kinda don't get a choice, so having some self awareness can really help. I fully understand though. There is still some stigma surrounding the diagnosis and you never truly know how somebody will respond.
I would say that overwhelmingly I have good results being open about it when it's somebody important to me, and if somebody responds badly then it probably isn't that helpful to have them in my inner circle anyway.
There's such good information and advice here from you. I'm normally pretty easy- going, laid back. When I find myself getting moody and snappish, easily irritated or just mad at the world, I know I'm headed for trouble. I have to take steps to cope by making sure I'm taking my meds on a regular schedule which I can get careless about, take a sleep med to be sure to get good sleep, and tell people not to take whatever I say personally, it's just a mood I'm in. If needed, I'll talk to them about my diagnosis. Also BPD 2. The worst for me are the "downswings." The lack of energy, the numbness, feelings of an empty life, feeling the simplest things are overwhelming or just not caring. Communication is everything with those who are important to you. I try to remember to say I've been diagnosed with BP 2, and not say, "I'm Bipolar" because that's the way I keep from letting the disorder define me by owning it as my identity.
Making commitments in up swings and then not being able to follow through in a down swing lead to me not talking on any responsibilities for like a year or two and that was also bad but I did gain a lot of knowledge on what I can and can't handle and what I want to take on and what I don't want to take on from going through that. I still struggle with balancing commitments and saying no but it's definitely a skill you can learn. The biggest thing I still struggle with when it comes to commitments is feeling guilty that I can't see my friends and family as much as I feel like I should see them.
I fully get this. It's tough because a lot of people don't really understand, and take it very personally. You have my full understanding and support!
Thanks for watching :)
I really appreciate this video. It lays out so much in a not so clinical manner that i think we need more of. I dont suffer from this condition I live with it.
Absolutely! I think there's a time and a place for discussions about neurotransmitters, and I think it's not always super useful when we're newly diagnosed.
Thanks for supporting
Definitely agree with ‘allowing’ oneself to just ‘have’ and ‘be’ within the shitty negative slump that comes. Fighting it by distraction and forcing dopamine into the brain has elongated and made me take longer to process the blacker parts of the illness.
I know this video it’s two years old but thank you kindly for putting this out.
I recently was diagnosed and everything you are mentioning makes so much sense. People with bipolar disorder need to live a life intentionally and discipline, only because that’s the only way we get control over our lives 🥲💓 thank you again! Excited to hear you music, you are an angel!
Ahh thanks so much! I really appreciate the support. I've got a new song coming out tomorrow so it's perfect timing actually! I'm glad the video resonates with you and I appreciate your comment.
One of my friends recommended your video to me. I really enjoyed it, thank you for creating this and I look forward to watching more. I'd love to have a conversation with you one day. You might even consider coming on our show, The Bipolar Now Podcast. Take good care and keep up the great work. Warmly, Matthew
Hey Matthew! I would love to come on your podcast. Will you shoot me an e-mail at evokehop@gmail.com?
Thank you so much, so helpful!!!!!
Glad it was helpful! Thanks so much for watching and supporting :)
Praise Jesus 🙌💕🙏! Thank u sooo much! U r real, u r one of us, u get it! I am soooo grateful for all that u r sharing, bless u 🙏💕🕊! This really helped me, I needed it desperately 🙏💕🕊
Thanks so much
For sharing
I have co morbid down swing of bipolar . Holding on to hope .
Great advice man
Glad it resonated! There is absolutely hope. This video was years ago and things have only gotten better and more stable since.
Thanks for watching!
@@evokehop thanks so much man x
I needed this
Glad it connected with you, and thanks for watching!
When I catch myself being too loud too pushy too snappy too edgey and aggressive I tell myself Im not fit to in public and I take myself home untill I calm down. I find staying amoung people makes it worse.
It's like the world is made of sandpaper or something. It's so easy to get frustrated when we're in a state like that.
Thanks for watching and supporting the channel!
Bravo. 22+yrs dx. Your items are right on point.
Thanks for watching :)
From someone new on the journey you help put perspective so love to see more videos of your journey you relate your journey with lots of people me included what watching your other video realise I’m not same meds 2 weeks down so slowly raising dose. How was your journey on them
Great question! I know it's been a while (so hopefully your journey on meds is smoothing out! I'd love to know more.)
My experience was that I didn't start noticing a big change until I'd upped my dose to 100mg of lamotrigine. I don't know how well this applies to other people's experiences though.
I also just want to vent how tiring it is, as a person who also has a lot of anxiety and has anxious and rigid-thinking parents, to try and keep everything under control. I hope it changes as time goes by, but my mum for example has such a hard time putting herself in my shoes and not deeming me as crazy and unstable. In times I went psychotic they understandably got sooo worried and kept looking at me in a weird way and challenging my delusions and it just made the delusions worse. I found an article saying the dos and don'ts when someone you know is in psychosis and I'm going to show her, but she's the type of person who always let's me feel her anxiety (and I also happen to turn more sensitive and empathetic when in episodes so it's all a snowball)
all in all what I think is essential for ppl 'like us' is to focus on the good things in life that bring us joy when we can and feel stable (often very hard). I think that pays off long term
I’m curious about how you manage a relationship with BP II. I was with a person that was very upfront about their BP 2 in the beginning of our relationship and 5 months in this relationship , this person decided to break up. I’ve read that it is very common for people with BP to break off a relationship. All this time I thought I was very patient, communicative, understanding, and educated myself on BP. I actually expected this person to eventually break up with me during a down phase. Do you enter a relationship on the upswing ? Thoughts ?
I stumbled upon your previous bipolar disorder video and am in the middle of this one and was very moved to just say, "THANK YOU." You are so articulate and great at describing these experiences and what you're saying makes 100% in relation to my own experiences with bipolar disorder 2. I tried therapy and meds in the past but am about 3 yrs into trying to live with and manage my sympotms without meds.
I am also an aspiring (or maybe in my case, hopeful) musician and have struggled to make progress in large part due to my struggle to manage my mental health.
This video was EXTREMELY helpful for me. Just to hear someone take a lot of the things I've been experiencing and sew them all together with thoughtful advice. I'm sending a link to this video to my partner to help him understand me a little better as I've told him many of the things you mention here and i think you add depth and validation in our case.
I'm also sending the link to a good friend of mine who is a little earlier in his journey to understand and manage his diagnosis. I'm also excited to check out your music. THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🎉
Thanks so much! I'm glad it was helpful to you. It's been a while since I made a video about the subject but I want to revisit it because things have been going great recently!
@@evokehop you helped inspire/motivate me to keep pushing with my music too. So good to see your comment bc I had looked to see what you might be up to musicly lately and seemed like you had gone dark. I hope all is well and you keep producing! Sounds like it is 👍
@@matthewstarek5257 New release is coming out Nov 10th :)
@@evokehop Your Favour pops into my head all the time. Great hook on the chorus there and cool sounds throughout the song. Looking forward to your new stuff!
Spot on!
Thanks for watching!
Hit like for the GREAT information of course, but mostly the cat cameo...
He's truly the best! He IS the great information.
Love your new song! Is it available on Apple Music?
Yes it is! Thanks for your support. Plenty of new music on the way :)
excellent...but if this is a down turn (rapid speech pattern) what is your highs like? lol
You don't wanna know 😭
"I'm the common denominator here..." lol. I feel very seen and also called out 😅
🫣 We've all been there
I have a question , So I as well am diagnosed Bipolar 2 a while back and don’t have therapy atm but , You say some days are up and down, in my case I feel some days aren’t full blown depression or hypomania, but feel as if some days could be more energetic or in my head down fatigued, so what I’m saying is , you feel it coming to a more depressive state or hypo and it just really depends on the day like people believe it’s either ima feel like this for 2 weeks but it’s not the case at times but it doesn’t feel normal say like it’s much more than a typical downswing or upswing as you said it can be more depressing or one day you can feel like you got much much more energy , idk if I am making sense here
I always described it like I was a battery and I needed to recharge for a few days....I'm no longer allowed to recharge though. I'm the sole care giver of a 2 1/2 yr old. So, I'm always drained more than a neurotypical person would be. It sucks that I can't fully enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Ugh this sounds exhausting. I'm sorry that you haven't been able to have the chance to rest when needed. Hoping things get a little bit more possible as your kiddo ages and can spend some time in school!
Hope you're doing well and able to take a break. Thanks for the support in watching the video!
And another serious question... not snarky... promise. If you still cycle through all this so horribly, what is the medication doing for you? I'm trying to stay off meds if I can, and it will be interesting to hear your experience.
No worries! I appreciate the direct and honest questions. I've been in therapy for a long long time. I originally got sober at the end of 2011, and have had a therapist pretty consistently since then. There were a lot of coping mechanisms that really helped me to manage my emotions so that I wouldn't go back out and use, and many of those were really useful for Bipolar too. Probably so much so that my diagnosis was super late!
The mood swings only really became unmanageable once I started experiencing something called "conversion disorder" and "Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures (PNES)". Basically the stress became so intense that my brain couldn't handle it and passed it off to my body. I was literally having seizures or going catatonic for hours at a time during my episodes. There wasn't really a lot I could do to think my way out of that, so I started on my meds to try and help make it a brain problem again. So far it's been working great! I don't need to feel great all the time, but I can't let it fully incapacitate me, so that's what I had to avoid.
@@evokehop Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I hadn't heard of what you experienced and am looking it up when I'm done writing this. I got under a lot of stress but I just became unable to function at work or in life... never that.
I'm so glad you were able to get therapy early and in abundance. When I was your age I couldn't afford therapy even if I did have insurance. Intense therapy over the span of Covid with a therapist willing to do most of it pro bono helped me more than anything ever.
You’re so dope
Hi can u share what medications you take
Sure! This is not medical advice at all, just my specific treatment plan. Just need to clarify that.
but right now I take 250mg of Lamotrigine daily. That's all I'm on right now, though I have hydroxyzine to take as-needed if I have a hypomania induced anxiety attack. This combo works really really well for me.
how do I recognize what mood I'm in?
It can definitely be a little challenging! It's all relative, which can make it a little more difficult to do in any given moment, but I've found that there are certain signifiers.
One I mentioned is that other people seem to suddenly start to annoy my a lot more when I'm in an upswing. On the opposite end, I tend to feel hopeless when I'm in a downswing. These patterns weren't obvious at first, but once I put a name to them and started paying attention, I started to notice the phases.
Hope that helps, and good luck!
Thank you! =) @@evokehop
While I appreciate your video saying you will delete "misinformation" is a mistake. I am 56 and the majority of "science" or "medical info" listed as fact has since been proven wrong. (example- through out the 70s' any doctor or "expert" said butter is horrid and use margarine. If back then we had the internet and I posted avoid margarine and use butter "experts" would say that is "misinformation" and push to ban that communication. I am for ALL information available and the antidote for false info is better case for good info.
I understand this view point, but I want to push back on it a bit.
Firstly, "the majority" of science and medical info has not been proven wrong. It's absolutely fair to say that there are many things in the history of nutritional and medical science that have been discovered to be incomplete, inaccurate, or often the exact opposite of the truth. Our understanding of our bodies and the world is constantly evolving. Finding accurate results from studies is hard, and it's made harder by the profit incentives and interference of large corporations in the funding of studies on our health. I support skepticism about the way these studies are conducted and the results they sometimes find.
In my view, there is a difference between suggesting an alternative treatment and spreading misinformation. For example, folks in the comments have mentioned the Ketogenic diet as a treatment for Bipolar. While not extensively researched, the Keto diet seems to be helping many people with Bipolar Disorder. I tried it myself for about 2 years and had really great results. You'll notice that I haven't deleted those comments because they aren't spreading misinformation. They're just mentioning treatments that haven't been extensively researched yet.
An example of spreading misinformation would be comments that say things like "Bipolar disorder isn't real. It's a scam designed to trick people into (etc etc)" or some garbage like that. Things that are fundamentally anti-science, meaningless speculation, uninformed ramblings, or an attempt to politicize the experiences of people with this disorder. If somebody is confidently, factually stating something that has zero evidence or research behind it, that's just misinformation. There's no excuse for it.
I personally don't believe those conversations are even worth starting, and I don't feel any moral obligation to allow those conversations to take place in my communities when I have the ability to shut down that kind of fire-starting. It's the same reason I wouldn't invite a hateful and toxic liar to a party. I don't think they have anything to offer to me or the people I choose to surround myself with.
@@evokehop the majority of medicine IS very different than even when I was a kid. I’ve save several lives and been in emergency medicine since 1985. Majority of what we thought was right has been reversed. Example? Drowning victim, roll to one side to get them to expel water. Now it’s immediately breaths as brain oxygen deprivation is paramount. Then AED. Your page your call. Ultimately it ends up one person (you) becoming the arbitrator of what is fact and what isn’t. While I could piece meal pick apart your long response it will waste both of our time as you won’t bend no matter the case laid out. Medicine isn’t math, it’s not concrete. In 50 years most of what is FACT will be reversed history is replete with examples. For me? Lay out any and all information and let individuals decide for themselves. To not do so is narcissistic and close minded. Someone MAY say “try this herb” we can shut it down until “peer reviewed study” and maybe it turns out it works. No one one know as people who think like you will not allow it to be posted. My two cents. Btw I for one don’t have the solution but neither does any one person.
@@evokehop also you mixed “hateful and toxic” with alternate views. Isn’t that hateful and toxic? Toxic to me isn’t toxic to you. Toxic in any institution I’ve worked with is when they won’t allow differences in opinions.
Boils down to YOU are in charge and YOU will decide. If you had someone else do that to you I assure you that you would see THAT as hateful and toxic. It’s the new trend. Narcissistic behavior.
@@rmooremarine I understand how it could be seen that way. I stand by what I said.