Is This Your Real Personality? (5 Childhood Trauma Personalities)
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2024
- In this episode, I cover what I believe to be five trauma based personality types that are not our true personality. I cover the behaviors, intimacy problems, social problems, where it comes from, and how to work on it by being more real.
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For everyone confused, this is a podcast, which is just audio, it’s not a video.
Yeah ok, so why are pictures being mentioned- that we can't see....?
@@rheinhartsilvento2576 Because the audio is from a video he did a few months ago
You can see the original video, including pictures, if you scroll back on his channel about 3 months ago. With the same title...😊
It just doesn't make sense to do a simple conversation from video to audio, without removing the references to the images or describing them differently. Some RUclipsrs will record podcasts intended for both and they will say "let me describe this image for people who are only listening
Ghost, darkness, and are-we-good type here!
I find that connecting isn’t hard but once that connection becomes broken for whatever reason, it’s hard for me to want to fix it.
My marriage is a great example. My wife has allowed her family to disrespect me, and she herself has dissected me and betrayed my trust.
Wanting intimacy after that is like wanting to hug a cactus.
Same here. 90 percent ghost with a bit of the other 2. I run away when I've been hurt. My husband was a flying monkey for my mother for 47 years, but finally saw what she really is. Thankfully, he was lovely between the monkey business times. Being a ghost is very frightening and powerless, if yours manifests in the same way as mine. I'm terrified of anyone being angry, even when it's at someone else, and I'm too terrified to tell people if they're hurting me. Except hubby. I've always managed to tell him, even though he used to get defensive. He's finally realised where I'm coming from. I guess I had a rotten childhood, but an intermittently good and bad adulthood. I'm sorry for what you've been through with your wife.
I always find it stunning to hear someone describe early childhood memories since I only possess less than a dozen fleeting moments of memories prior to the age of seven.
It's the same for me.
@@stephaniegraham3774 Hopefully you have managed make progress. I now understand a great deal about what happened in my family and how it has affected my life, but where I am completely stuck is grieving. I don’t have a way to open my heart without processing the heartache and loss. My disassociation is like a concrete wall.
Me too and mostly not positive ones
Same here. Has anyone done any work to try to recover memories? I really dislike not having any good memories. Sometimes I see old family pictures and wonder where that memory went.
@@jessicatorres3679 Since I have isolated to do major healing work away from all the toxic ppl…and since I’ve researched narcissism & all it’s effects, I’ve felt a surge of memories pouring back in!!! Some good, some bad, but I’m sitting with all of them & pondering deeply to see the memory clearly & more deeply. All the noise & abuse or harshness, (gaslighting especially!) will cause memory loss because your mind wants to disassociate with that pain, but it doesn’t have to be permanent 🙌❤️🩹
That's brutal. As a lonely person. I don't like it when people are degraded and told they're not worth it. I want friends and these people who are gone, could've been my friends.
I thank you Patrick for 42 minutes of the best understanding I've listened to in a very long while. Many things I can put to rest because of it. Sad to see so many comments circled around not seeing the few pictures you mentioned in the beginning. Sadder still, with so much valuable information, THAT is what they came away with. You are here for us all. Personally, i didn't need to see an image of you at different stages, I recall the same description of myself there also. GOD bless you and your precious viewers also.
Some of the above comment is unkind, to say the least.
Got a lot out of this and I am mulling it over. I am autistic and have CPTSD and major depression. Very interesting and helpful. I am much more aware of my legitimite anger about how I was abused and am much less people pleasing. I love learning about this stuff. I live like a hermit and have some support but I am aware I actually do need a lot of time to myself to process the last 50 years. I like social contact in small doses. I am grieving a lot in my life and uncovered shame. Videos like this really help. Thanks Patrick.
Incredibly insightful, thank you! I'm a recovering ball of anger, I know a worker and an "are we good".
You should do a video about maladaptive daydreaming
Second !
I’d love to see that!
I found it helpful that evolving from one trauma based personality to another can be part of the process. Wasn't aware of that. I certainly have changed, but unfortunately, have not always been sympathic to the changes at times. Recently, I have been challenged by lots of family drama and loss due to illnesses and death. So my triggers have blossomed in not a comfortable way. , I am definitely learning and letting go of more issues through this process. It never seems pretty or easy. Simple, yes, but not easy. Thank you so much Patrick for your continuing to reach out and helping so many of us.❤ God bless you in your thoughtful and kind help.
Thank you Patrick for such an insight into healing and the evolution of our personality types as a result of toxic formative years. After following you for quite awhile, I finally confronted my 74yr old brother (via text, he lives thousands of kilometres from me), that I remembered when I was 4yrs old, he sexually molested me and sexualized me in his bedroom, in our home while he was supposed to be minding me. He has always been manipulative, has narcissistic traits and will not only sabotage his own life but that of others. I know he also was deeply affected by our toxic and dysfunctional family. From observing many of your RUclips topics I am learning how to heal, to know triggers and am at last finding the real me once again. Thank You again can't wait for your book.
Developmental Darkness + Real World Events = Depression. It’s difficult to value a life and efforts to see beauty feels unauthentic and dishonest.
yep i have this expereince
I believe I am in the realm of hostile and darkness, but ghost resonated as well. I’ve definitely been all three at various stages in my life.
I’m so grateful for your channel! It has helped me give myself grace with some of my behaviors, but also made me so aware of them that I feel I’ve been able to actually work to change them. (Still in progress).
Thank you Mr. Teahan 🙏🏻
I’m still getting out of the “are we good” trauma response 😅
This is fantastic. I feel seen and find myself in a lot of these types. Also, it is evolving. Thank you for sharing this and doing this talk. I am going to find professional help.
Just recently I found my way out of a very unhealthy coping mechanism.
Darkness and Are We Good is a hilarious but tough combination 😅
Thank you for all you're doing, Patrick
So far I think I’m all 3 that you have mentioned The doer who helps me avoid people The hostile I get very angry when I’m screamed at The darkness absolutely I’ve been negative. And suicidal my whole life However I’m still here Havinb both parents die by age 5yo and been used by an abuser I never wanted to live Nothing makes me happy I can pretend to be happy but it’s fake
Wow Patrick, this really hit home. Thank you!
I’ve been both ghost and are we good in my relationships. I’m working on being more expressive and not holding onto feelings.
I'm the ghost! 👻 ..I have a lot of work to do on getting better as I am still much a loner kid.
I see myself as a doer and possibly a ghost, and are we good. Great podcast.
I'm a ghost and are we good.. 😱😅
Thanks patrick. Love your channel. You really hit me with the first and last types. I'm trying to get back into therapy.
Thank you, Patrick
This is very helpful. Thank you very much ❤❤
really accurate. it's scary to not know who you are without these things.
holy cwap... I cannot unhear this
I've always struggles with the American concept of an "Irish Goodbye". I don't know if you're being ironic or sarcastic.
As an Irish person living in Ireland, there is no such thing as a quick exit during a family gathering such as a wedding. You need to srtart making your preparations to leave at least an hour before you want to go. If you miss out on saying goodbye to one great aunt, they will hold it against you forever!
Anyway I digress.
I've been a hostile, especially as a teenager, when I raged against the unfairness of how I was treated in relation to my Golden Brother, and how my Flying Monkey sister aided and abetted my mother. A darkness as a young adult at Uni, when I was probably actually depressed. I am now probably more of a do-er, although I struggle to get projects started due to perfection procrastination, and I hate giving over projects to others as I see it as a personal failing on my part.
Excellent! Thank you!❤
the all good, i believe came out in me as the 'easy child' , people pleasing never actually worked, so I also for sure, and I think even as a teen said, I choose darkness this all fucked. (i used horror movies as very young child to deal with my family patterns as well). i got jealous the fighter types because it looked better to me and usually they were boys
Mostly, my life has been The Ghost, with lesser extents as Hostile and Are We Good modes.
That “spark” I have always been able to see in people’s eyes since I was very little. I’ve learned the Thai call it our “Original face”… the YOU before the trauma ❤️🩹🙏💫
This is a great study of personality studies, I am very interested since their was no interest in the 60’s and 8 of us siblings grew with not much throughs about us each individually missing our special gifts. Later Divorse made everything worse for us all last children. Parenthood is a serious job and a gift. Looking forward for more pot casts.
Thanks!
Thanks, Patrick. This is so helpful. I see myself in a couple of these personalities. Definitely worth a re-listen and note--taking session! 🙂
It seems like we all go through the same sort of things.
Got to say that I'm a little bit surprised the two that I'm most associated with are hostile and are your analysis insinuates that those are not compatible... I've been looking for a therapist for months and haven't found a good match and I'm in so much pain and intense crisis and I cannot seem to find the help i need
The darkness is like Lydia in Beetlejuice.
my mother used to say 'hey that's you'
I would be interested in hearing about a related topic if you have not already discussed it. What are the "worst" or "most difficult" or "unworkable" combinations in your opinion. I understand it would be based on your experience and studies so not 100% citable. To explain more: I think I am "Doer" primary and "Ghost" secondary. My mom sounds like a "Are we good?" type and that fits because she experienced a lot of physical punishment and fundamental attitudes (i.e. sexism) as a child not just from others but from her parents. Anyway, my mother drives me crazy. We have no relationship because she is infuriating. So I am wondering if we are opposite sides of the spectrum and if that leads to more relationship issues. This example is an example of the topic. What types have the most issues dealing with each other which leads to more difficulty resolving issues in counseling?
I feel like all of these but more so the do-er/are we good
It would be nice if there was a link to the original video somewhere, like in the description
No childhood photos can be seen. Just the one photo of you grown up stays up, so you know .
What do I do if I relate to all of them😅
Therapy
Is the "doer" the same as advoidant?
I feel I’m a doer
27:16 🤚🏼🐺🕸️✂️🍄🌻🐞⏳🕯️🌕🩰
28:27
30:30
31:48 🤚🏼
The Ghost!
Realizing I was raised by two hostiles lmao No wonder I was so angry…
Photos aren't visible.
I’m not seeing the photos of you as a child, etc
Can't see my comment, might be because of the link. But the audio is from a video he did a few months ago.
This is just audio.
@@melere777 thank you. I thought it sounded like a video I watched before.
Thank you
Got it. Thanks.
All of them😅😅😅
🫂sharing🫂thankYOU 👑
Tfw you’re kind of all of them…
Just DID things, I guess lol