@@Blue-dragonfire there is a massive maturity gap between 19 and 30. it's not the same as 25 and 35. my god i'm 41 and work with 19 year olds and i can't believe how little they know.
if should have been handled better, but he should have taken the hint when you said absolutely fucking nothing about the note he gave you. he didnt have the nerve to confess to your face the first time, so you shouldnt have had to coddle him about it, it should have been enough to ignore it and steer clear for a while. you didnt play games with him, you were just acting like a friend in a WORKING ENVIRONMENT. theres no excuse for his assumptions, it wasnt his business, and he had no right to blame you for his feelings.
There’s a sentence a like about consent that applies well here: The absence of a “no”does not mean “yes”. The guy should have directly asked OP for a yes to pursue their relationship or clarify her intentions instead of simmering in frustration and assumptions. Communication is key in a relationship, and dude failed this aspect even when still single
Oh sweety, even if he knew you had a boyfriend he would have fantasized about how he is the right man for you and one day you will be together. He was just a creep who latched on to the one girl that was nice to him.
Man child needs therapy. You are under no obligation to tell anybody anything about your private life. For God sake you can’t even talk to a guy without him thinking that you’re flirting with them?
That guy was abusive to you when you rejected him. You need to stay far away from this person. It's 100% on him and his dysfunctional social life. You didn't lead him on you just existed near him and he pulled a full incel on you.
@martynrich5187 as far as I can tell these stories are all made up by writers. And even the real ones you aren't commenting to the author. I should block the page but I watch it mindlessly
NTA. Honey, it's not your fault. He's 100% delusional. I'm positive he'd have the exact same reaction if you had rejected his advances right after the letter. On top of that, an ABUSIVE reaction. He needs professional help for the issues he caused himself. And I'm so happy that everything turned out great for you!
NTA, people you work with aren't entitled to know anything about your personal life. It sounds like that man was forming a weird parasocial relationship with OP. It's likely just immaturity when it comes to relationships and stuff, but the much kinder thing to do would have been to turn him down quickly after getting that note. Not addressing it at all is very weird, and by not addressing it, OP basically told him that she was fine with his feelings. You can certainly say that the man should have taken the hint, but some people are just oblivious to social cues, so it's way easier to just nip it immediately, rather than letting them continue with their feelings and be more hurt down the line.
NTA. You prob should have mentioned your boyfriend or defo should have addressed the note, as it is soul crushing to be in that position as a guy. However, his mental health isnt your responsibility and if he got that irritate he was prob was hurt & embarrassed - it was probably just a pebble in a much bigger issue.
It seems from your description of your own personality, that you may have been diagnosed with the diagnosis former called Asperger’s Syndrome (high functioning autism)? Bc I recognise many of the personality traits you seemed to have at that age; you were more introvert than most people, obviously very good at organising, probably a personality trait that’s showed in more ways than just how you helped Kyle change his whole “work area” . And these organisations should most likely have led to both easier to manage & overlook everything for Kyle & also larger sales. That if the usual customer felt he got any advantages when it had been reorganised, for example how easily it now was to find the products needed & then the customer maybe also spend more money… And if you actually had/still has the AS, then you would also have problems recognising when the too shy men (like Kyle) tried to show that they were romantically interested in you. Bc you never even saw the small, hardly noticeable clues & just continued to treat them as friends & they never had enough courage to speak out about their feelings for you & probably it seemed even more difficult for them when you never even showed the least bit of understanding their true feelings. And you on the other hand, was already totally lost in another man & how you would be able to at least find out if there’s a chance for you… Of course it never was your fault for not understanding how Kyle truly felt for you & I’m just happy that it ended best way possible for you, getting your true love! ❤️
How do you hear all of this and still somehow think OP is the AH??? Socially awkward ppl have a hard time with this bs and on top of it, her silence should’ve been taken as a “no”, as she made it obvious through her actions that she wasn’t interested Saying that she was playing “mind games” is sorry- complete bs and I’m just going to assume that the story went through one ear and out of the other Could it have been handled better? Sure, but Kyle is the actual weirdo for not seeing that she’s not interested and took her not responding as a tease and leading him on rather than a “not interested”/“no”
@@ginger_artz8412 This, not to mention OP wasn't even 20 and Kyle was LATE 20s possibly early 30s. He shouldn't have even been pining after an 18-19 yo.
@@atlasbread right? i'm 41 and work with a bunch of girls around 19-20 and yes i like chatting with them and joking around, but good god not in a flirting or pining kind of way
Technically ITA because you aren't obligated to tell, however OP was playing mind games with that boy and gaslighting him. It's her choice, but let's keep it real on what she did.
How was she playing mind games? It's not her fault Kyle misinterpreted her joking for flirting. Just because someone is being friendly doesn't mean they're flirting 😐
@@ketienne1021 so you can give a negative opinion on an absolute stranger but when someone does the same about you it’s “slander”. Hypocrites just can’t help out themselves can they 😂
![[Full Story] My Mil Tried to Ruin My Daughter's Birthday by Accusing Me of Having an Affair With...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gS0VEIz63Bw/mqdefault.jpg)
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late 20s to early 30s hitting on a 19 yearold? nah dude was creepy
It’s only a 10 year age gap
@@Blue-dragonfire there is a massive maturity gap between 19 and 30. it's not the same as 25 and 35. my god i'm 41 and work with 19 year olds and i can't believe how little they know.
its not bad unless its like this. if its friendly and both feel the same way its ok.
NTA: if a person is in their late 20s or early 30s they have no business trying to be with an 18/19 year old.
NTA he seems like a typical "nice guy"
Right! Girls like nice guys, they don’t like pu$$ies. Very typical “why don’t women ever date the “nice guy”.
if should have been handled better, but he should have taken the hint when you said absolutely fucking nothing about the note he gave you. he didnt have the nerve to confess to your face the first time, so you shouldnt have had to coddle him about it, it should have been enough to ignore it and steer clear for a while. you didnt play games with him, you were just acting like a friend in a WORKING ENVIRONMENT. theres no excuse for his assumptions, it wasnt his business, and he had no right to blame you for his feelings.
There’s a sentence a like about consent that applies well here:
The absence of a “no”does not mean “yes”.
The guy should have directly asked OP for a yes to pursue their relationship or clarify her intentions instead of simmering in frustration and assumptions. Communication is key in a relationship, and dude failed this aspect even when still single
Oh sweety, even if he knew you had a boyfriend he would have fantasized about how he is the right man for you and one day you will be together. He was just a creep who latched on to the one girl that was nice to him.
he does not need to know
Man child needs therapy. You are under no obligation to tell anybody anything about your private life. For God sake you can’t even talk to a guy without him thinking that you’re flirting with them?
That guy was abusive to you when you rejected him. You need to stay far away from this person.
It's 100% on him and his dysfunctional social life. You didn't lead him on you just existed near him and he pulled a full incel on you.
@ii2bcnii - you dont know if any of that is true and are adding detail to the story that is not there, your making huge assumptions.
@martynrich5187 as far as I can tell these stories are all made up by writers. And even the real ones you aren't commenting to the author. I should block the page but I watch it mindlessly
NTA.
Nta but should have said something after the note
NTA. Honey, it's not your fault. He's 100% delusional. I'm positive he'd have the exact same reaction if you had rejected his advances right after the letter. On top of that, an ABUSIVE reaction. He needs professional help for the issues he caused himself.
And I'm so happy that everything turned out great for you!
###-#####-####- 2:18 😂
NTA, people you work with aren't entitled to know anything about your personal life. It sounds like that man was forming a weird parasocial relationship with OP. It's likely just immaturity when it comes to relationships and stuff, but the much kinder thing to do would have been to turn him down quickly after getting that note. Not addressing it at all is very weird, and by not addressing it, OP basically told him that she was fine with his feelings. You can certainly say that the man should have taken the hint, but some people are just oblivious to social cues, so it's way easier to just nip it immediately, rather than letting them continue with their feelings and be more hurt down the line.
NTA. You prob should have mentioned your boyfriend or defo should have addressed the note, as it is soul crushing to be in that position as a guy. However, his mental health isnt your responsibility and if he got that irritate he was prob was hurt & embarrassed - it was probably just a pebble in a much bigger issue.
No dude u dodged a bullet
It seems from your description of your own personality, that you may have been diagnosed with the diagnosis former called Asperger’s Syndrome (high functioning autism)?
Bc I recognise many of the personality traits you seemed to have at that age; you were more introvert than most people, obviously very good at organising, probably a personality trait that’s showed in more ways than just how you helped Kyle change his whole “work area” .
And these organisations should most likely have led to both easier to manage & overlook everything for Kyle & also larger sales.
That if the usual customer felt he got any advantages when it had been reorganised, for example how easily it now was to find the products needed & then the customer maybe also spend more money…
And if you actually had/still has the AS, then you would also have problems recognising when the too shy men (like Kyle) tried to show that they were romantically interested in you.
Bc you never even saw the small, hardly noticeable clues & just continued to treat them as friends & they never had enough courage to speak out about their feelings for you & probably it seemed even more difficult for them when you never even showed the least bit of understanding their true feelings.
And you on the other hand, was already totally lost in another man & how you would be able to at least find out if there’s a chance for you…
Of course it never was your fault for not understanding how Kyle truly felt for you & I’m just happy that it ended best way possible for you, getting your true love! ❤️
Nta. But you should have involved your manager or HR sooner
0:58 for those coming from the short
thank you!!
YTA for just ignoring the note. Op is yapping that she cant take hints but then expects him to take her hint...
i did think that was ironic
ESH
You are weirdo you should have told him you were not interested in him instead of playing mind games with him and acting like nothin happened poor guy
How do you hear all of this and still somehow think OP is the AH??? Socially awkward ppl have a hard time with this bs and on top of it, her silence should’ve been taken as a “no”, as she made it obvious through her actions that she wasn’t interested
Saying that she was playing “mind games” is sorry- complete bs and I’m just going to assume that the story went through one ear and out of the other
Could it have been handled better? Sure, but Kyle is the actual weirdo for not seeing that she’s not interested and took her not responding as a tease and leading him on rather than a “not interested”/“no”
@@ginger_artz8412 This, not to mention OP wasn't even 20 and Kyle was LATE 20s possibly early 30s. He shouldn't have even been pining after an 18-19 yo.
@@atlasbreadnot to mention the whole power imbalance between a new hire and a department head.
@@aroshootingarrows That too. It just overall makes him look really creepy, even if it wasn't necessarily intentional.
@@atlasbread right? i'm 41 and work with a bunch of girls around 19-20 and yes i like chatting with them and joking around, but good god not in a flirting or pining kind of way
Technically ITA because you aren't obligated to tell, however OP was playing mind games with that boy and gaslighting him. It's her choice, but let's keep it real on what she did.
How was she playing mind games? It's not her fault Kyle misinterpreted her joking for flirting. Just because someone is being friendly doesn't mean they're flirting 😐
@@atlasbreadignore this person they almost alway find a way to say op ITA even if they are a victim..
crazy to call a ~30 yo man trying to date a teenager a “boy”
@@BASIC8584 I don't go around slandering you under your comments, so please give me the same curtesy.
@@ketienne1021 so you can give a negative opinion on an absolute stranger but when someone does the same about you it’s “slander”.
Hypocrites just can’t help out themselves can they 😂