I've cried tears of happiness every time the Crash Course coin is released. I believe so much in this project, in this community, and in our shared values. Thank y'all for being here ❤❤
If you're 46, you have nothing to worry about, you've got 40 years left, and during that 40 years AI is going to discover medical advances that will extend lifespans to 120 years old, so you'll get an additional 40 years, and during that 40 years AI will undoubtedly "cure" aging. So you'll get to live forever.
I think the joke gets funner every year. If I was working in a hospital and asked an octogenarian their age and they said "87, halfway home" I'd be cracking up.
This comment / reply is reflective of the creativity of this amazing community. On a moist critical video this would just be a brain rot thread and instead we get incredibly thought insights 😊
One of my favorite posts basically says “since I have no idea when the middle of my life is, I have instead decided to have an ongoing crisis” and I feel like that’s somewhat applicable here lol
As a widow in her 60s. Priorities have to do the things that bring you joy. Priority. Health. Family. Faith. Without your health, you can't always be there for family. Take care of your health. See a dr. Exercise. Eat good food, with a few treats tossed in for joy. Love your partner. Love your kids. Make time for parents because they will be gone way too soon. Spend time in nature. Sit by a river and think long thoughts. And always be a nerd.
I can contest to how much love really helps your family. My dad just died and he was the most loving, caring person ever. And because of that my whole family knew that he loved us so much and that has been a huge help in continuing on. I can’t explain it but I feel like if he wasn’t as forward as he is about his love it would be a lot harder to accept his passing. Sorry for the dump but I thought it was relevant
@@placeholderdoe Tell those you love. Say it out loud. Parental love is the foundation we build our notion of what love looks like. Tell them often. It is so important
It is pretty amazing how, when you're younger, you understand that you'll age but you don't really get it beyond that. Once you hit middle age and you start to feel it, you know that sure, you may live into your 90's, but your 90's won't be your 30's. Every year the aches and pains get ever so slightly worse. Thinking gets harder. Remember gets harder. Aging is a real thing and you just don't know your priorities until you get there. I've spent a lot of time with my parents over the years which has also really helped me understand what aging will be like. The in's and out's of daily life can change a lot.
I'm a few years behind you, and yeah, I'll add my underline to all of this. Also, when I was making up nicknames for my siblings, I decided the younger of my siblings would get to be GG Dodson :)
46 is , according to studies, the age when we are at our lowest point in terms of mood, and things start going uphill after this. I am 52 and I can confirm this is real.
I am also 52 and find that slightly comforting, because it means that statistically, things will improve for me as well. And probably already are, and it's just that today I can't see that because mental health.
personally i think the “halfway home joke” only starts getting funny after you’re statistically after the halfway point, and only gets more funny from there.
LOL I was recently going through old poems of mine that refuse to leave the "unfinished" stage, & on one of them found I'd written myself the following notes (on 3 different spots): "Cut this. Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS." I think "Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS" has to be my mantra now.
@@Anberel Same, but less due to my disability (which is a chronic illness) & more due to socioeconomic class. (I'm almost making ends meet between my 4 jobs, but there's a lot I want or need to do that I can't - including professionally.)
John, I recommend you read these two excellent books called Looking For Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, they do a great job tackling mortality and discussing people’s impact on the world. Dunno if you’ve heard of them! :)
When you figure it out, please let us know. I haven't been paying much attention to where I've been going these last 37 years, but I figure I should probably put both hands on the wheel and set my GPS soon.
What brings you joy? If you know do more of it. If you don't just start experimenting 😄 Simple. And when you remeber to each day take a look around and out at this beautiful world with opportunities that may not stay forever. I am almost 3 years free of cancer and it was a wakeup call. Find the beautiful.
Ugh you don't know how _delighted_ it made me to hear someone reference Mary Oliver!! I never really hear anyone quote her randomly, and I adore her work and own her books. I'm so glad that you know her work too, John. Her words have helped me get through many a dark spot in life. If I may quote her back to you, a favorite of mine is from Black Oaks: "Today is a day like any other: 24 hours, a little sunshine, a little rain. Listen, says ambition, nervously shifting her weight from one boot to another -- why don't you get going? --And to tell the truth, I don't want to let go of the wrists of idleness, I don't want to sell my life for money, I don't even want to come in out of the rain." It reminds me that I don't have to sell my life for money. That not all of life has to be about the ambition of What You're Going to Do Next. That it's okay to just Be. Happy Tuesday, John.
If I may offer a thought, John: In the past year you've done an incredible job of turning the spotlight on other people's work. To name a few: the TATWD cast and crew, Katie Mack, and of course, hard-working TB advocates worldwide. It's been a true joy to encounter these people through you. While those engagements do take up some (lots!) of your time, you're lifting other people up in the process, allowing them to do more and better, AND you're de-centering yourself a bit, which does seem (from the outside, at least) like a more sustainable route, long term. In the same way, as you both continue this transition away from direct day-to-day leadership of Complexly and DFTBA, I hope that you'll be able to find roles that allow you to bring the best of yourselves, while letting other people do what they're great at. Thanks for being here. 💚
I feel like (for anyone) decentering oneself takes pressure off & might help with these kinds of crises. I can only imagine that having a bunch of eyes on you only makes you feel more like you have to keep performing - and trying to guess what all those people want/expect. Decentering yourself by empowering others, especially.
THANK YOU! I am turning 44 this year, definitely past half way, and I am freaking out wondering why more people aren’t talking about this. I feel like the expectation is that I’m supposed to be “done” and just gracefully decline *for half my fricken’ life*. I stopped working in my late 30s due to disability (thanks, cancer) and never had kids so I am effectively a retired empty nester, completing all the “adult” milestones that you prepare for in your teens and twenties. I am right there with you John, on this being one big shrug. My time and energy are limited by my health, but also my shrinking mortality. It feels like I spent the first half of my life flinging open every door, and now I am quietly pulling sheets over things and shutting doors for the last time, but…. I am only halfway through! Why am I “done” when I still have almost as much life I as I started with and am way more capable, financially independent, and unburdened by institutional responsibilities like formal education? It’s a heck of a conundrum. Please, if you figure out an answer, even if it’s only an answer that works for you, share with the group. I am open to inspiration.
I had a friend turn 49 in May, and I said "Wow, I didn't know you were 3 years older than I am," but then I realized/remembered I'm 48. I'm truly lucky in that I love what I do, but the rest of my life is in a bit of flux (she understated). I am with you in this extended moment of "what will the rest of my life look like?" It's really not comfortable overall, with valleys that feel lower than usual. I hope we're both able to reach out to the family who loves us all the time, the friends who want to help, and whatever other supports are in our grasp, while still finding the time to do the deep internal dive necessary to our own growth. Good luck, John. I'm certain you have a chunk of Nerdfighteria with you in this crappy liminal space.
Crash Course went from being something I watched to keep learning something well after I had finished school, to something I share with my kids to help them with what they are learning in school. I know there's been lots of work done with MOOCs and whatnot to make education accessible, but for me Crash Course is the only thing that feels close to what it was like to have a passionate teacher. And that's something that's missing for a lot of children.
when mary oliver wrote "tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?", i don't see as a call to action to do more / be more productive, but a call to be more present and mindful - which is a relief for me
I'm 38 and I'm going through this crisis too. I've sacrificed most of my adult life so far working around people I hate so I could help my parents and siblings while paying off student loans. Now, my siblings are married with stable careers, my student loans are paid off, and I'm basically at that point where I realize I have no idea where to go from here and I'm super burned out. I wish you the best of luck in figuring out how to overcome your midlife crisis because it can be rough.
John, I really respect your candidness about this topic. Being someone in her early 20s who just recently graduated college, quit an unfulfilling job, and is in the process of figuring out what's next, listening to you talk about your own "figuring it out" stage, albeit in a different regard, was both reassuring and grounding. Thank you for sharing what you're comfortable with the broader Internet knowing. It has certainly helped me feel less unnerved by finally being at the crossroads in life that I've been anticipating for so long, and I hope that the "figuring out" transition you're experiencing passes as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Wishing all the best from southern Indiana!
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: The "figuring it out" stage is your whole life. And that's okay. When I was in my mid-20s, my neighbor, who was a student teacher for my class when I was in third grade, told me that "life is what happens while you make other plans." In the intervening 3 decades of figuring it out, that little piece of wisdom has stood me in good stead.
@@apriluno7210 You're welcome! Also, I realize that part of why it's okay is because there's always something new to figure out. Thank whoever you (generally) don't have to keep figuring out the same thing all your life :)
As someone in the midst of a quarter life crisis, feeling expected to know the point of my life, it's oddly reassuring that even in "middle age" we don't have to know the point
Reassuring isn’t exactly the vibe I’m getting here. More like, your crisis will just extend throughout the remainder of your life as you simultaneously get closer And more aware of your impending death. And every second goes by without fail. Even our idols, the great successes of our society like the Green brothers find themselves increasingly anxious and worried by it. Whether it’s the fear of losing everything or the sadness of not being able to complete it all. Why are you so assured? It doesn’t get better. You can invent a revolutionary treatment for cancer next year and be held as a hero and be awarded billions of dollars and still you will find yourself some days sitting alone in a dark room thinking about death. You will cough and wheeze and be reminded of your mortality. You will remember that Ozymandias stands alone in that vast desert surrounded by sand. We are hairless apes in a chaotic, random universe and we will all die and that’s it. That’s life. Breathing for a bit then dying. Isn’t that nice? No
@@mrgrorkWhen you know people older than you don’t have it figured out, it takes the ticking clock off of you. It’s okay to not know for a little while. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.
@@mrgrork I'm noticing strong "nihilistic desperation" vibes in your comments. Kinda reminds me of Hazel's stance on oblivion in TFIOS, tbh (which is not a critique mind you - I absolutely love that book, and also consistently frequent the potholes of nihilism masquerading as existentialism, whilst meandering through the waves of pseudointellectual philosophizing). I just wonder if that is a worldview that is helpful to you. Not to say it isn't true - it is unimaginably hard to conjure a purpose in that which is inherently futile in its finiteness - but just because there is truth in such despair, does not mean there isn't truth in hope... that there isn't purpose in striving to find one... that our efforts mean nothing now because they will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. To quote John Green (I believe) "We don't live in the grand scheme of things. We live in the here and now". The crisis comes from trying to make our present align with our hopes for the interim future, whilst balancing that with our eschatological anxiety about the long-term future. OP finds comfort in knowing that this crisis is not something you're supposed to have resolved by the time you're 25, so they're not running behind. I think OP's feelings are valid (as all feelings are), understandable, and frankly, the best takeaway one can take from John's video that does not lead into its own crisis. Anyway, I hope you're having a good day! :)
@@Karishma_Unspecified is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? I used to believe all the pain in life was compensated by small moments of bliss. When compared with the alternative of non-life - of not being able to strive and gain fulfillment. Amadeus, being loved by god. Certainly many of our myths and legends revolve around the concept of sacrifice. It’s held up as a virtue, usually with some sort of abstract compensation like life after death or realized stoicism. But I don’t believe that anymore. It’s a fabrication upheld by our ignorance of the true reality of suffering. If you are or ever go vegan you understand and accept the tragedy of life. You see just how messed up is the world we’ve created. You look back at the arguments which justify Sapiens (by Sapiens) that separate us from all the other animals. Then you look out at nature and find the savagery which we are apparently separate from. Perhaps you read a smattering of German 18th century musings on the nature of the universe. That all things which exist necessarily ‘strive’ by some means (whether consciously or unconsciously in the case of minerals and perhaps plants) without rest. That in order to continue striving we must consume other things which are striving. Nietzche would later adapt this line of thought and replace the word striving with willpower. Nevertheless we must consume each day just to carry on this ultimately futile existence. And now in modern day we have created such behemoths of machinery to automate this process on a massive scale. Now we enslave hundreds of billions of animals and dominate the natural world around us. Not that we are any closer to meaning as a society, or are morally superior to our past selves in any way. In fact we are not morally superior to the animals we enslave. But in order to circumvent the Schopenhauer dilemma (and other such moral quandaries) we pretend that Sapiens alone are conscious and worthy of moral status or freedom. Of course that’s not true. But all we seem to do with our ‘advanced’ intelligence is enslave and kill and pollute and create weapons of mass distraction and write poetry about death. We croak like the rest though, no matter how fanciful our poetry. And that’s the world we live in, it’s cruel and uncaring and full of plot holes and fantasies. And the next Great Ape over has just as little clue as you do. And the apes who parade around as if they do are a ruse. And all your loved ones will die. But first you have to watch them get old and unhealthy and suffer physically. And you have to watch them clutch to their religions to cope with the unyielding terror of mortality. What hope do I have left? What reason would I have to hope for life after death. Is it much the same as this life? There are no satisfactory proofs for the existence of God. Can we trust reason and rationality alone to guide us towards meaning? All the enlightenment era thinkers are dead, what good came of their scientific breakthroughs? There are more hairless apes suffering on this floating rock than ever before. More aware of their suffering. More ignorant willfully in a world with an increasing pool of knowledge. And then there are the hopeful young progressives - the atheists and agnostics just trying to leave the world better off. Knowing you will die and accepting it. Admitting many of the truths which I admit. Well then that is fine. I’m sure you live busy lives full of things to keep you occupied. That seems necessary to stave off the demons. But how much do you participate in the tragedy of our world? Do you eat meat, dairy or eggs? Is your happy life based on the suffering of many others? Are we privileged and blind to it? I mean really blind. So blind that we have arguments for why we aren’t blind, arguments defending why we should be eating meat or dairy. Arguments which call upon nature itself. Anyhow, that just gets me back into the ‘nature itself is cruel and indifferent’ spiel. Thanks for your thoughtful response though, I hope you’re having a good day 🙏🏻
I found you guys YEARS ago because of Crash Course! And I am so proud to be an ASU employee and alum because of their affiliation with Crash Course. Love you!
When my daughter was born when I was 35, I was in ecstasy for over a YEAR. My family was finally complete! I was married, and had a son and a daughter! Granted, son was from previous marriage, but… well, close enough! But then, “what now?” came creeping in on little cat feet. What was my goal now? What would drive me into that good night as the dream of a family of my own had driven me up life’s great hill? Well, raising those kids… and surviving the death of my husband from cancer as our daughter was entering kindergarten… has kept me pretty busy thus far, and now I have a full-time job… but I see the day coming when I will have FREE TIME, and also FREEDOM (which I didn’t really have when last I didn’t have young kids to hover over), and I do feel the need to do some stuff to help my community, such as I am able to. In particular, I want to do an annual “Longest Night” prayer service at my church acknowledging that Christmas isn’t a joyful time for everyone. It’s beautiful when we get the opportunity to support others as age gives us more resources to work with, but it is indeed a very serious matter to ponder! 🤔
As a teacher, crash course has been an amazing tool for me and my students. I teach fourth and fifth grade gifted students so not everything applies (and I have to adjust the speed of the video to slow John down), but they always enjoy getting to here people talk about interesting stuff. Thank you for making it and thank you to everyone who buys a coin!
Maybe the point is that there is no point, we’re here because we’re here? Maybe a full and meaningful life isn’t knowing exactly which one road you are going down, but having built up a range of things that you place such value on it feels almost too much to hold it all in the same moment. I hope I have a midlife crisis, because I think it will mean my early life has had many different pockets of joy and discovery that continue to pull at my attention.
As far as I can tell, any definition of "meaning" requires a consciousness to decide that something has meaning. In that sense, as far as we currently know, the human species is what gives meaning to the universe. A full and meaningful life is whatever each individual decides that means for them. Too much anxiety exists because people feel like someone else (society, celebrities, what have you) are the arbiters of what makes for a meaningful life. Having to choose between multiple equally desirable options is never fun, but it tends to work itself out in the end. After all, it's not easy to make a genuinely poor decision if every option is one you enjoy.
Boy, can I relate. When you hit a certain point, you suddenly realize that the childhood dream you had about being a marine biologist? Yeah, probably not gonna happen. And then you think of all the things you won’t get to do, and it sucks. So hard. But the benefit to that realization is that you will ultimately be forced to narrow your focus to who and what you CAN be. And that can be truly amazing.
I'll be 60 in about 2 weeks. This birthday seems to be hitting me harder than my birthdays up until now. I have never been very ambitious, but now that I have a few things I would like to do, I feel like I am out of time. Don't wait!
46 here too. This is the first year I “felt my age” but it hasn’t slowed me down. I did start checking off a lot of bucket lists three years ago. I too have back pain, most of us do. Staying active, yoga, and pt are my best friends. Good luck with your writings John.
My (late) grandmother once said, "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I looked like an 82 year old! And I'm only 81!" I've always wondered what different ages are supposed to feel like. How does one feel their age? And how does 82 look different from 81?!?
Lucky you! I'm 37 and have had 2 partial knee replacements. Getting to the point of being able to function mostly normally, but this past 2 years had me feeling like I was in my 70's. "You're only as old as you feel" can be a curse.
I turned 40 this year and a month later got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, so I am quite literally feeling the pain of my mid-life crisis right now.
I can relate 100%, last year I turned 40 and ended up in the ER with Anemia, had infusions, and ultimately had major surgery. Not the best way to start a new decade of life.
At 41 I was diagnosed with two different skin cancers... And I'll take that over RA. I'm sorry friend. There's some good meds to help you. It'll be a while to figure it out though.
John! It’s ok to not have a point. You don’t owe us any points. Also, I’m reminded of some Ze Frank said in his video “Be Yourself”: “Do you want a point? I hope not, because I’m all out of points. But I have a confusion if you have the time.” We do have the time and we’re happy for you to share the confusion.
I love a lot of things about being a nerdfighter but I think the thing I love the most is hearing John, put so well into words, the exact things that bring me anxiety.
I'm only 25 but I have also been having issues with mortality and how little time in life I have to do all the things I want to do. At some point, it'll sink into my brain that some things have to be sacrificed, but for the moment, I'll live in my delusion that I can do it all.
I have followed John and Hank for more than 10 years, and listening to this makes me aware of how much time has passed since University, and I also feel blessed and fortunate to not being dead.❤❤❤
I demand a POINT! T_T (i get it though, there is not enough time, but you have already demultiplicated your time so much, by being so effective about helping not just one, but multiple important causes, i think you also deserve a little rest, and enjoying your family and friends, and decide on what to do "next" when you feel like it's going to be not just worth your time, which is sadly limited, no need to sugarcoat it, but also bringing you joy and satisfaction, no matter how incomplete it'll ever feel). Take care.
As a fellow halfway-home-er, trying to prepare for a job interview tomorrow at which I'll no doubt be forced to justify why I'm a perfect fit for this job which by right should go to a much younger person, but meanwhile also trying to make a big decision about whether to even stay on this career path, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Same same same samesamesame SAME.
I used to watch your videos ages 12-16. I listened to your podcast at my first job when I was 17. Now I am 22 and returning to your videos. I feel really existentially lost but I find these videos comforting. Thank you.
Puff levels are high today. Thinking carefully about the direction you're walking is great, just don't let the thinking interrupt the doing. Trust yourself to make the best decision for you with the information you have right now, not the information you might have later with hindsight, and start walking. Even if it ends up being the wrong direction, that just means your story has turns.
John - I have spent most of my life contemplating this question. I have come to realize that no matter what that anxiety mosquito will be there by my side when death comes to greet me. In my low moments I am reminded of the first vlogbrothers I ever watched. I was in my first apartment hundreds of miles from anyone I knew in a job I hated. I had resolved to take the long nap and even had the logistics in order. I was scrolling RUclips stumbled upon Hank Green who told me about "The Game" and informed me that I lost it somehow. (Readers of this comment, you know what you need to do.) In recent years I have come to identify other games of like nature and realized that life is quite literally that same game. It is the game we cannot not play...When that hit me I kind of got mad at first. But then I realized it didn't matter. All that mattered was the mission that I felt was necessary in order to leave the world better than when it started. How long I have until I hit the great filter is no longer material. If you have a grand dream not yet fulfilled then that is your answer. If you don't, congrats! Enjoy the heaven you helped build. P.S. For me the point is to bring about true global democracy, in hopes it is World Peace and not Warp Drive that is the prerequisite First Contact. If I'm right I'm on the first shuttle to Risa. If I'm wrong at least we got World Peace.. 🤞
(well, the little mental The Game. It's good to put the "long game" in perspective sometimes, and like... yeah, it's a really good way of putting it to say, "life is a game we cannot not play".)
@@puppyDawg128 If you are interested in metaing "the game" to get victory consider this: You spend most of your life in a state of not losing the game as you spend most of your time thinking about other things. You could reason that if you take the aggregate time you spend losing the game and compare it to the aggregate time you weren't then you will find that you have, on balance, WON the game.☯
What raises my anxiety the most besides reading all the stories I read about people leaving us too early, I sense my memory not being as good as it used to be. My grandmother suffered with dementia and scares me that I could too in the future. In all reality it probably won’t happen for a long time. She didn’t get bad til her 80s, but doesn’t ease my fears.
As a fellow forty-something, in a different kind of therapy, a lot of my mental energy lately has been focused on making the second half better than the first half both for myself and those around me as a byproduct.
I went through a big midlife crisis for most of my forties. My therapist explained it as what happens when you switch from looking at your age as time since birth to looking at it as time until death. The thing that ultimately cured it is realizing that there is no time until death, you never know when it's going to happen.
So I’m currently 30 and having a very intense mid/quarter life crisis. And I cannot tell you how comforting this video was for me. Just…the not being alone of it all.
Release those parts of yourself that you can trust in others and give those actions away completely. Touch only that which is too precious to give away and that is you and your purpose. Do not feed the hunger of what might be or could be for it already is and will be.
I doubt you will ever see this, John, but if you do, know you are not alone. (Yeah... you already know that. I get it. Sorry.) People take different paths to the thing you called "a smidge of a crisis". My path started at age 25 or so, when I realized I had done already accomplished all my big, preprogrammed goals at that point. And now, well over three decades later, the crisis persists. It's just a low simmer now, but it's still there, and I suspect I will have to live with it forever. I hope you have better luck!
I think a lot of us here might be too young to understand what sort of perspective we’ll have in midlife, but I do always wonder whether I should be worrying more about how little time I have left, or not worry at all. Becuz when I seriously consider the things I do with my day, usually sleeping through most of it, procrastinating the rest, avoiding the work and actual studies and even hobbies, then I really wouldn’t get anywhere because I’d be feeling like a failure most of the time. I think we all expect to be somewhere satisfactory by the time we’re in our 40s-50s but thats not assured or inevitable. At least one of my parents has their dream job and the other has seemingly been in a midlife crisis since their 30s and taken it out on everyone around them in bitterness, but now at 60 seems to be somewhere satisfactory for themselves. But I myself have no idea if I’m gonna end up anywhere good at the rate I’m living life, maybe I should finally take the time to read Turtles All The Way Down though because I felt the movie had a great ending that talked about this fear.
as someone far, far younger, but also currently jobless and similarly directionless - thank you for being honest with us, your audience. it's appreciated more than you know.
Nearly 45 and I feel this deeply. Pretty sure I will not read all my books and knit all my yarn and visit all the places I wish I could see, which is a sobering thought. One silver lining - My patience for things I feel will waste my time is pretty much gone and I give myself grace for letting them go. Films that upset me, books that irritate me, people that are toxic. Life is too short and I am more than half way there.
At some point after 40 you will experience what skydivers call 'ground rush'. What at one time was in the far distance growing imperceptibly slowly, suddenly appears to approach at breakneck speed. I'm now 68 and the last decade seems to have passed like a single year in my teens.
I literally watched this right after talking to my therapist about mid-life priorities and existential dread, with a little touch of "what's even the point". Wow. It's comforting to see this sentiment shared by someone I can relate to, even though our circumstances are very different (although we're both middle-aged white guys, well-off in our own ways). Thank you, John.
Not knowing what the point is or if there even is one is something I struggle with regularly. But for now, at least we have each other on this wild journey. Thanks John.
I've been watching vlogborthers videos since 2012. So over 12 years now. Every couple of years I will hear John talking about some new "crisis" he's having 😅 Keep on keeping on John. good luck.
I turned 40 this year and lost my mom this past September so I definitely get the mortality thing. Now I also have a daughter who will be 5 in two months who can both make me feel young and incredibly old often at the sametime.
Thank you for reminding me of something that has been weighing on me as well. At 62 with several health issues , it is a reminder of our finality on this beautiful planet with our families. Much Love to you and Hank.
This reminds me of the Wendell Berry poem: "It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings."
Something I think is really powerful, that I want to emphasize is that he said, "My greatest PROFESSIONAL Passion in life..." I know for myself I tie my art with my career (I'm an actor/writer) and have had a hard time separating the self from the actor. So speaking like this is super powerful for preserving our dignity when the art is not wholly recognized or praised in the way we think it deserves to be. It also keeps the value on the self and doesn't let anyone else determine your value.
What I learned studying Camus is so long as you dont take the other options (checking out early, taking up a religious faith) you're doing the thing. Sometimes our purpose involves scouting what to do next.
Not having an answer is the best way to find an answer to these types of problems, I have found. Sitting deeply within the uncertainty and anxiety gives you a chance to start a conversation with parts of you far deeper than the one posing the question. Good luck to you, John.
You're so right about nerdfighteria, it's a beautiful, vital community that is so, so important to so many of us! I initially connected with my friend Bex over p4a and I'm so incredibly grateful!
Just got the 20k coin for the second year in a row. I've been watching since 2009 when I couldn't reliably afford to eat outside of my food service job. The entire way you have helped me find hope to keep going and it's incredible how far along I am when I look back. Thank you for being here
Same age. Thanks for validating the fact that sometimes we have no answers to the questions we feel are the most important to us. People tend to post "end results" or what makes them proud. The space between the question and the answer disappears from view which each time makes me feel as if I am not supposed to be there... even if it is actually the place where life is constructed.
I think you can choose to devote your time to any of those worthwhile causes, and any of those possible choices is the correct choice. You are a good person, and you will contribute positively to the world no matter what you choose. No one expects you to solve every problem because that's impossible. Wishing you clarity and peace with your process ❤
Thanks for keeping it honest and open John, we're enriched by the transmission of humble truth and perspective 🥰 You might not have free will, but you cannot fail at being you whatever choice you make, as long as you make a choice 🙏
"Early late life crisis" makes my knees hurt. Also, why are we having the same-ish life crisis, you have done so many good things. I know brains do not work this way but I think you are doing wonderfully.
It’s comforting when you make a video that makes me feel less alone. I’m around your age, and I, too, have no idea what the hell I’m doing or should be doing.
When I was 25, I did warehouse work with a bunch of 50+ guys. They loved to gripe about their backs and whatever. My response was always the same: Yeah, being old sounds awful and I don't want to do it. I'm thinking of a hard cap at 40. I turn 39 in a few weeks. I don't think I've told the joke in 3 or so years. And it was to someone that had heard it a billion times. I'll start telling it again at 41 with an extra line. "Wait, I missed it?! Aww shucks, I'll get it time."
I turned 26 on the 26th (only now that I’ve written that do I realize that particular coincidence), and as someone who also is entirely incapable of going a single day without contemplating his death and just what the finite and families of human existence means for me personally, both day to day and by the time I actually die, it’s kind of encouraging to hear someone whom I respect a great deal also have no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going. You’ve got 20 years on me, John, and yet as I pass the first quarter ( if I’m lucky) of my life, having recently been rejected from every grad school that I applied to in the hopes of someday becoming an English, creative writing, or literature professor, I feel paralyzed regardless. The world gets more complicated and harder to handle. To quote a Hozier song, “It’s not my arms that will fail me, / but this world takes more strength than it gave me.” It’s been a real struggle to find what I want to do with myself while I wait the full calendar year until I can reapply and hopefully get accepted and continue my life plan (all the while anxious that I might have to change that plan entirely). I think about the transition of act 4 and act 5 of Hamlet a lot. The change in Hamlet when he returns to Denmark, clearly a different man from when he left. No so paralyzed by the enormity of the actions that lay before him. I sometimes wonder what it was like, what it felt like, to have that near serenity of certainty in yourself, regardless of the outcome of what you finally choose. I feel like I’m trying to find that sensation. Anyway, this is a long way for me to say that I suppose it feels good to know that finding “the point” doesn’t have to be immediate or otherwise bedrock. It can shift, change, get delayed, or be missed entirely, and that’s okay. We’re all just trying to find or make that meaning for ourselves. Whatever the point is, I hope it’s a good one, whichever we all land on.
A lovely vlogger I've been following since 2007 shared with me once that destiny is something we can only see in hindsight. Keep going John. You're getting there.
I feel your directionless vibe. I am constantly looking for a way. “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 ESV My faith informs so much that I cannot discount the effect.
I am 53, a bit older than John, and definitely feeling the finite quality of life in full effect. It’s sobering to suddenly realize you are in the early part of late life. Also, much like John, I haven’t quite nailed down those priorities of focus. The playing field keeps shifting…so it’s not so easy.
You've been figuring out how to prioritise up to now, and you've been doing a pretty good job of that. Having long term goals is important too, but the best we can do is to take things one day at a time, to decide how to spend today, rather than trying to figure out some priority on the scale of an entire life. And while you worry about the latter, I'm sure you'll continue doing a pretty good job prioritising all the todays, day after day.
screamed and freaked out when one of my favorite people in the planet referenced one of my favorite poets and one of my favorite poems and lines (I have that poem framed and hung in my bedroom so I’m reminded every day) extra grateful today for the John Greens and Mary Olivers of the world
John you have OCD, you've been having an ongoing life crisis since you were born. 🥲 But you've been a fucking rockstar so far, so keep on keeping on and you'll be fine! 💚
I feel this. While I am far younger than the average for a keen awareness of mortality (20s, at least for a little longer), I went to far too many funerals before my 18th birthday to not be aware. Here's what I've found: -Prioritize how you feel first. Prioritize your rest, your health, your physical, mental and emotional self. Ignoring these things saps your energy to do the things you love most, and over time will leave you with less energy to do them. -Next, prioritize the important people in your life. The people who make you happy because they like who you are first, and what you do a distant second. These are the people who care about your whole being, the ones who will grieve you most deeply when you're gone. These are the people who love you deepest, and time with them is precious -Third, prioritize the things that make you feel energized from investing in. There's good work to do everywhere, but work that fills you on the way costs less energy. It's down here though, because work of any kind should not be a coping skill, it makes work too important. If you need to work to feel okay with your brain, that's a recipe for overworking, burnout, and neglected relationships. Work doesn't grieve you when you're gone, it just grieves the output you could have had. No matter how vital, how necessary the work, the work must come after self and important relationships, as the work will never know you or love you or tend your needs
Thanks for being here with us. Check out the Crash Course coin: complexly.info/cccoin24-8 -John
I've cried tears of happiness every time the Crash Course coin is released. I believe so much in this project, in this community, and in our shared values. Thank y'all for being here ❤❤
I'm really sorry dude but at this point the 214 game only really looks weak.
Sounds like a NFT pyramid scheme
good luck on "the back nine" as the golfers say
If you're 46, you have nothing to worry about, you've got 40 years left, and during that 40 years AI is going to discover medical advances that will extend lifespans to 120 years old, so you'll get an additional 40 years, and during that 40 years AI will undoubtedly "cure" aging. So you'll get to live forever.
I think the joke gets funner every year. If I was working in a hospital and asked an octogenarian their age and they said "87, halfway home" I'd be cracking up.
Full agree. Subversion of expectation is a cornerstone of humor!
I intend to tell them I'm having a midlife crisis when I'm in a nursing home. 😂
I believe the graph of the humor of this joke is a parabola.
That’s like RuneScape math
This comment / reply is reflective of the creativity of this amazing community. On a moist critical video this would just be a brain rot thread and instead we get incredibly thought insights 😊
One of my favorite posts basically says “since I have no idea when the middle of my life is, I have instead decided to have an ongoing crisis” and I feel like that’s somewhat applicable here lol
That’s been my cover photo on Twitter since I was like 24 and I’m coming up to 30 this year and it’s still very applicable 😅
That post continues to be the realest thing ever.
@@camillelee-own8380 lol same but it was my instagram bio for like two years
I feel this, deeply.
This 😂
As a widow in her 60s. Priorities have to do the things that bring you joy.
Priority. Health. Family. Faith. Without your health, you can't always be there for family. Take care of your health. See a dr. Exercise. Eat good food, with a few treats tossed in for joy.
Love your partner. Love your kids. Make time for parents because they will be gone way too soon.
Spend time in nature. Sit by a river and think long thoughts.
And always be a nerd.
I can contest to how much love really helps your family. My dad just died and he was the most loving, caring person ever. And because of that my whole family knew that he loved us so much and that has been a huge help in continuing on. I can’t explain it but I feel like if he wasn’t as forward as he is about his love it would be a lot harder to accept his passing. Sorry for the dump but I thought it was relevant
@@placeholderdoe Tell those you love. Say it out loud. Parental love is the foundation we build our notion of what love looks like. Tell them often. It is so important
I'm 62. I'm glad there are other Hank & John fans my age.
It is pretty amazing how, when you're younger, you understand that you'll age but you don't really get it beyond that. Once you hit middle age and you start to feel it, you know that sure, you may live into your 90's, but your 90's won't be your 30's. Every year the aches and pains get ever so slightly worse. Thinking gets harder. Remember gets harder. Aging is a real thing and you just don't know your priorities until you get there. I've spent a lot of time with my parents over the years which has also really helped me understand what aging will be like. The in's and out's of daily life can change a lot.
I'm a few years behind you, and yeah, I'll add my underline to all of this. Also, when I was making up nicknames for my siblings, I decided the younger of my siblings would get to be GG Dodson :)
46 is , according to studies, the age when we are at our lowest point in terms of mood, and things start going uphill after this. I am 52 and I can confirm this is real.
I am also 52 and find that slightly comforting, because it means that statistically, things will improve for me as well. And probably already are, and it's just that today I can't see that because mental health.
The Happiness Curve. I’m 54 and can confirm also. However, it’s even better if you do a lot of self reflection and work on your demons.
I'm so happy to hear this. I'm turning 47 on Sunday and the last year and a half has been awful!
I was at my lowest around 41-43. It's been pretty steady uphill ever since and I'm 47 now.
@@sarahvnyc I certainly hope for better for you. It is nice to know that statistics are in your favor!
personally i think the “halfway home joke” only starts getting funny after you’re statistically after the halfway point, and only gets more funny from there.
My dad is over 90. He loves to say: "Well, you just feel you're no longer 80 ..."😊
It’s a little funny when you’re young & have a darkish sense of humour lol
This is easily the strangest cover of Fleetwood Mac Changes I've heard
Superb comment.
do you mean landslide?
You win this comment section.
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"just a smidge of a crisis" feels like my motto for 2024 so far
Progress...right?
Same, but ironically.
LOL
I was recently going through old poems of mine that refuse to leave the "unfinished" stage, & on one of them found I'd written myself the following notes (on 3 different spots): "Cut this. Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS."
I think "Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS" has to be my mantra now.
Same.
Are you gonna keep saying that every year
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I remember you quoting Annie Dillard once and I think that line is appropriate here.
Such a brilliant line. That "of course" makes it just perfect.
I'm surprised John didn't quote it in this video. Although this line, depending on context, does come with "just a smidge of a crisis" sometimes
As a disabled person who is frequently too ill to use my precious time in the way I would like, this quote gives me massive anxiety.
@@Anberel Same, but less due to my disability (which is a chronic illness) & more due to socioeconomic class. (I'm almost making ends meet between my 4 jobs, but there's a lot I want or need to do that I can't - including professionally.)
We're here because we're here because we're here
GD it this is gonna go through my head all day now
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because we’re here because we’re here
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we're here because
John, I recommend you read these two excellent books called Looking For Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, they do a great job tackling mortality and discussing people’s impact on the world. Dunno if you’ve heard of them! :)
He might have heard of them, but sure he hasn't read them since they're published.
Cute
Yes, this. I think he has a better handle on this than he gives himself credit for :)
Watched this from the floor of my kitchen while hiding from my impending thesis deadline. Here's to crises, may we live to see many more. DFTBA.
You can do this! You'll feel so great when your thesis is done :)
Amen
You probably need to get up and drink some water
Good luck with your thesis! Sending positives vibes!
@@maryjewell461 I can attest to that!
My grandpa always said, “I’m over the hill & gaining speed!” (with a smile stretched from ear to ear)
3:41 A+ use of the dramatic pause, John
I thought my internet was on the fritz
@@mariannetfinches Lol!
I started watching y'all when I was 17. I am almost 35 now. This video really had me feeling the passage of time.
I am turning 35 next week. I was 21 when I started watching. That passage of time thing is absolutely true.
I started watching at 12 and am now 25, vlogbrothers is one of the few things that has grown with me, I feel you acutely!
Wait til you get to the point where you realize there are people outside your family who you've known for half a century.
💯💯💯
hey now I'm 25 and I've also gone to physical therapy for chronic back pain sooo
I would hope that I'm not middle aged 💀
Whoa, hello there back pain twin! It's not fun out here!
I’m 27 and same!
@@angrycharizard Misery loves company...
You're going through a different life crisis. DFTBA from a fresh 54
When you figure it out, please let us know. I haven't been paying much attention to where I've been going these last 37 years, but I figure I should probably put both hands on the wheel and set my GPS soon.
If it ain’t broke
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What brings you joy? If you know do more of it. If you don't just start experimenting 😄
Simple.
And when you remeber to each day take a look around and out at this beautiful world with opportunities that may not stay forever. I am almost 3 years free of cancer and it was a wakeup call. Find the beautiful.
@@FuncleChuckthis is an excellent point. If you're happy that's an achievement itself
Ugh you don't know how _delighted_ it made me to hear someone reference Mary Oliver!! I never really hear anyone quote her randomly, and I adore her work and own her books. I'm so glad that you know her work too, John. Her words have helped me get through many a dark spot in life. If I may quote her back to you, a favorite of mine is from Black Oaks:
"Today is a day like any other:
24 hours, a little sunshine, a little rain.
Listen, says ambition, nervously shifting her weight
from one boot to another -- why don't you get going?
--And to tell the truth, I don't want to let go of the wrists
of idleness, I don't want to sell my life for money,
I don't even want to come in
out of the rain."
It reminds me that I don't have to sell my life for money. That not all of life has to be about the ambition of What You're Going to Do Next. That it's okay to just Be. Happy Tuesday, John.
If I may offer a thought, John: In the past year you've done an incredible job of turning the spotlight on other people's work. To name a few: the TATWD cast and crew, Katie Mack, and of course, hard-working TB advocates worldwide. It's been a true joy to encounter these people through you.
While those engagements do take up some (lots!) of your time, you're lifting other people up in the process, allowing them to do more and better, AND you're de-centering yourself a bit, which does seem (from the outside, at least) like a more sustainable route, long term.
In the same way, as you both continue this transition away from direct day-to-day leadership of Complexly and DFTBA, I hope that you'll be able to find roles that allow you to bring the best of yourselves, while letting other people do what they're great at.
Thanks for being here. 💚
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I feel like (for anyone) decentering oneself takes pressure off & might help with these kinds of crises. I can only imagine that having a bunch of eyes on you only makes you feel more like you have to keep performing - and trying to guess what all those people want/expect. Decentering yourself by empowering others, especially.
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I enjoy you framing your lifespan as "going home", that adds a comfort to the idea where it wouldn't be usually
THANK YOU! I am turning 44 this year, definitely past half way, and I am freaking out wondering why more people aren’t talking about this. I feel like the expectation is that I’m supposed to be “done” and just gracefully decline *for half my fricken’ life*. I stopped working in my late 30s due to disability (thanks, cancer) and never had kids so I am effectively a retired empty nester, completing all the “adult” milestones that you prepare for in your teens and twenties. I am right there with you John, on this being one big shrug. My time and energy are limited by my health, but also my shrinking mortality.
It feels like I spent the first half of my life flinging open every door, and now I am quietly pulling sheets over things and shutting doors for the last time, but…. I am only halfway through! Why am I “done” when I still have almost as much life I as I started with and am way more capable, financially independent, and unburdened by institutional responsibilities like formal education? It’s a heck of a conundrum. Please, if you figure out an answer, even if it’s only an answer that works for you, share with the group. I am open to inspiration.
I had a friend turn 49 in May, and I said "Wow, I didn't know you were 3 years older than I am," but then I realized/remembered I'm 48. I'm truly lucky in that I love what I do, but the rest of my life is in a bit of flux (she understated). I am with you in this extended moment of "what will the rest of my life look like?" It's really not comfortable overall, with valleys that feel lower than usual. I hope we're both able to reach out to the family who loves us all the time, the friends who want to help, and whatever other supports are in our grasp, while still finding the time to do the deep internal dive necessary to our own growth. Good luck, John. I'm certain you have a chunk of Nerdfighteria with you in this crappy liminal space.
Crash Course went from being something I watched to keep learning something well after I had finished school, to something I share with my kids to help them with what they are learning in school. I know there's been lots of work done with MOOCs and whatnot to make education accessible, but for me Crash Course is the only thing that feels close to what it was like to have a passionate teacher. And that's something that's missing for a lot of children.
when mary oliver wrote "tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?", i don't see as a call to action to do more / be more productive, but a call to be more present and mindful - which is a relief for me
I'm 38 and I'm going through this crisis too. I've sacrificed most of my adult life so far working around people I hate so I could help my parents and siblings while paying off student loans. Now, my siblings are married with stable careers, my student loans are paid off, and I'm basically at that point where I realize I have no idea where to go from here and I'm super burned out. I wish you the best of luck in figuring out how to overcome your midlife crisis because it can be rough.
John, I really respect your candidness about this topic. Being someone in her early 20s who just recently graduated college, quit an unfulfilling job, and is in the process of figuring out what's next, listening to you talk about your own "figuring it out" stage, albeit in a different regard, was both reassuring and grounding. Thank you for sharing what you're comfortable with the broader Internet knowing. It has certainly helped me feel less unnerved by finally being at the crossroads in life that I've been anticipating for so long, and I hope that the "figuring out" transition you're experiencing passes as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Wishing all the best from southern Indiana!
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: The "figuring it out" stage is your whole life. And that's okay. When I was in my mid-20s, my neighbor, who was a student teacher for my class when I was in third grade, told me that "life is what happens while you make other plans." In the intervening 3 decades of figuring it out, that little piece of wisdom has stood me in good stead.
@@rmdodsonbills thank you for this
@@apriluno7210 You're welcome! Also, I realize that part of why it's okay is because there's always something new to figure out. Thank whoever you (generally) don't have to keep figuring out the same thing all your life :)
As someone in the midst of a quarter life crisis, feeling expected to know the point of my life, it's oddly reassuring that even in "middle age" we don't have to know the point
Reassuring isn’t exactly the vibe I’m getting here. More like, your crisis will just extend throughout the remainder of your life as you simultaneously get closer And more aware of your impending death. And every second goes by without fail. Even our idols, the great successes of our society like the Green brothers find themselves increasingly anxious and worried by it. Whether it’s the fear of losing everything or the sadness of not being able to complete it all.
Why are you so assured? It doesn’t get better. You can invent a revolutionary treatment for cancer next year and be held as a hero and be awarded billions of dollars and still you will find yourself some days sitting alone in a dark room thinking about death. You will cough and wheeze and be reminded of your mortality. You will remember that Ozymandias stands alone in that vast desert surrounded by sand. We are hairless apes in a chaotic, random universe and we will all die and that’s it. That’s life. Breathing for a bit then dying.
Isn’t that nice? No
@@mrgrorkWhen you know people older than you don’t have it figured out, it takes the ticking clock off of you. It’s okay to not know for a little while. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.
@@larsatticus6807 the clock never stops ticking it ticks without purpose. An almost malevolent apathy compared with our quest for meaning
@@mrgrork I'm noticing strong "nihilistic desperation" vibes in your comments. Kinda reminds me of Hazel's stance on oblivion in TFIOS, tbh (which is not a critique mind you - I absolutely love that book, and also consistently frequent the potholes of nihilism masquerading as existentialism, whilst meandering through the waves of pseudointellectual philosophizing). I just wonder if that is a worldview that is helpful to you. Not to say it isn't true - it is unimaginably hard to conjure a purpose in that which is inherently futile in its finiteness - but just because there is truth in such despair, does not mean there isn't truth in hope... that there isn't purpose in striving to find one... that our efforts mean nothing now because they will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. To quote John Green (I believe) "We don't live in the grand scheme of things. We live in the here and now". The crisis comes from trying to make our present align with our hopes for the interim future, whilst balancing that with our eschatological anxiety about the long-term future. OP finds comfort in knowing that this crisis is not something you're supposed to have resolved by the time you're 25, so they're not running behind. I think OP's feelings are valid (as all feelings are), understandable, and frankly, the best takeaway one can take from John's video that does not lead into its own crisis.
Anyway, I hope you're having a good day! :)
@@Karishma_Unspecified is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? I used to believe all the pain in life was compensated by small moments of bliss. When compared with the alternative of non-life - of not being able to strive and gain fulfillment. Amadeus, being loved by god. Certainly many of our myths and legends revolve around the concept of sacrifice. It’s held up as a virtue, usually with some sort of abstract compensation like life after death or realized stoicism.
But I don’t believe that anymore. It’s a fabrication upheld by our ignorance of the true reality of suffering. If you are or ever go vegan you understand and accept the tragedy of life. You see just how messed up is the world we’ve created. You look back at the arguments which justify Sapiens (by Sapiens) that separate us from all the other animals. Then you look out at nature and find the savagery which we are apparently separate from.
Perhaps you read a smattering of German 18th century musings on the nature of the universe. That all things which exist necessarily ‘strive’ by some means (whether consciously or unconsciously in the case of minerals and perhaps plants) without rest. That in order to continue striving we must consume other things which are striving. Nietzche would later adapt this line of thought and replace the word striving with willpower. Nevertheless we must consume each day just to carry on this ultimately futile existence.
And now in modern day we have created such behemoths of machinery to automate this process on a massive scale. Now we enslave hundreds of billions of animals and dominate the natural world around us. Not that we are any closer to meaning as a society, or are morally superior to our past selves in any way. In fact we are not morally superior to the animals we enslave. But in order to circumvent the Schopenhauer dilemma (and other such moral quandaries) we pretend that Sapiens alone are conscious and worthy of moral status or freedom. Of course that’s not true. But all we seem to do with our ‘advanced’ intelligence is enslave and kill and pollute and create weapons of mass distraction and write poetry about death. We croak like the rest though, no matter how fanciful our poetry.
And that’s the world we live in, it’s cruel and uncaring and full of plot holes and fantasies. And the next Great Ape over has just as little clue as you do. And the apes who parade around as if they do are a ruse. And all your loved ones will die. But first you have to watch them get old and unhealthy and suffer physically. And you have to watch them clutch to their religions to cope with the unyielding terror of mortality.
What hope do I have left? What reason would I have to hope for life after death. Is it much the same as this life? There are no satisfactory proofs for the existence of God. Can we trust reason and rationality alone to guide us towards meaning? All the enlightenment era thinkers are dead, what good came of their scientific breakthroughs? There are more hairless apes suffering on this floating rock than ever before. More aware of their suffering. More ignorant willfully in a world with an increasing pool of knowledge. And then there are the hopeful young progressives - the atheists and agnostics just trying to leave the world better off. Knowing you will die and accepting it. Admitting many of the truths which I admit. Well then that is fine. I’m sure you live busy lives full of things to keep you occupied. That seems necessary to stave off the demons. But how much do you participate in the tragedy of our world? Do you eat meat, dairy or eggs? Is your happy life based on the suffering of many others? Are we privileged and blind to it? I mean really blind. So blind that we have arguments for why we aren’t blind, arguments defending why we should be eating meat or dairy. Arguments which call upon nature itself.
Anyhow, that just gets me back into the ‘nature itself is cruel and indifferent’ spiel.
Thanks for your thoughtful response though, I hope you’re having a good day 🙏🏻
Happy Tuesday! Hope everyone is having a great day!
You too.
Thank you! You too!
I found you guys YEARS ago because of Crash Course! And I am so proud to be an ASU employee and alum because of their affiliation with Crash Course. Love you!
When my daughter was born when I was 35, I was in ecstasy for over a YEAR. My family was finally complete! I was married, and had a son and a daughter! Granted, son was from previous marriage, but… well, close enough! But then, “what now?” came creeping in on little cat feet. What was my goal now? What would drive me into that good night as the dream of a family of my own had driven me up life’s great hill? Well, raising those kids… and surviving the death of my husband from cancer as our daughter was entering kindergarten… has kept me pretty busy thus far, and now I have a full-time job… but I see the day coming when I will have FREE TIME, and also FREEDOM (which I didn’t really have when last I didn’t have young kids to hover over), and I do feel the need to do some stuff to help my community, such as I am able to. In particular, I want to do an annual “Longest Night” prayer service at my church acknowledging that Christmas isn’t a joyful time for everyone. It’s beautiful when we get the opportunity to support others as age gives us more resources to work with, but it is indeed a very serious matter to ponder! 🤔
As a teacher, crash course has been an amazing tool for me and my students. I teach fourth and fifth grade gifted students so not everything applies (and I have to adjust the speed of the video to slow John down), but they always enjoy getting to here people talk about interesting stuff. Thank you for making it and thank you to everyone who buys a coin!
Maybe the point is that there is no point, we’re here because we’re here? Maybe a full and meaningful life isn’t knowing exactly which one road you are going down, but having built up a range of things that you place such value on it feels almost too much to hold it all in the same moment. I hope I have a midlife crisis, because I think it will mean my early life has had many different pockets of joy and discovery that continue to pull at my attention.
As far as I can tell, any definition of "meaning" requires a consciousness to decide that something has meaning. In that sense, as far as we currently know, the human species is what gives meaning to the universe. A full and meaningful life is whatever each individual decides that means for them. Too much anxiety exists because people feel like someone else (society, celebrities, what have you) are the arbiters of what makes for a meaningful life. Having to choose between multiple equally desirable options is never fun, but it tends to work itself out in the end. After all, it's not easy to make a genuinely poor decision if every option is one you enjoy.
Boy, can I relate. When you hit a certain point, you suddenly realize that the childhood dream you had about being a marine biologist? Yeah, probably not gonna happen. And then you think of all the things you won’t get to do, and it sucks. So hard.
But the benefit to that realization is that you will ultimately be forced to narrow your focus to who and what you CAN be. And that can be truly amazing.
I'll be 60 in about 2 weeks. This birthday seems to be hitting me harder than my birthdays up until now. I have never been very ambitious, but now that I have a few things I would like to do, I feel like I am out of time. Don't wait!
46 here too. This is the first year I “felt my age” but it hasn’t slowed me down. I did start checking off a lot of bucket lists three years ago. I too have back pain, most of us do. Staying active, yoga, and pt are my best friends. Good luck with your writings John.
My (late) grandmother once said, "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I looked like an 82 year old! And I'm only 81!"
I've always wondered what different ages are supposed to feel like. How does one feel their age? And how does 82 look different from 81?!?
Lucky you! I'm 37 and have had 2 partial knee replacements. Getting to the point of being able to function mostly normally, but this past 2 years had me feeling like I was in my 70's. "You're only as old as you feel" can be a curse.
I turned 40 this year and a month later got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, so I am quite literally feeling the pain of my mid-life crisis right now.
I can relate 100%, last year I turned 40 and ended up in the ER with Anemia, had infusions, and ultimately had major surgery. Not the best way to start a new decade of life.
At 41 I was diagnosed with two different skin cancers... And I'll take that over RA. I'm sorry friend. There's some good meds to help you. It'll be a while to figure it out though.
John! It’s ok to not have a point. You don’t owe us any points. Also, I’m reminded of some Ze Frank said in his video “Be Yourself”:
“Do you want a point? I hope not, because I’m all out of points. But I have a confusion if you have the time.”
We do have the time and we’re happy for you to share the confusion.
i like reading these comments and knowling none of us are alone in our crises and uncertainty.
I love a lot of things about being a nerdfighter but I think the thing I love the most is hearing John, put so well into words, the exact things that bring me anxiety.
I got a John Green ad when I clicked on this video 😂 and was very confused. (It was a NOCD ad)
I did, too! The algorithm was paying attention.
I think this is the first time in like a week that I haven’t gotten one
which will come out next year!!! omg!!! I love something to look forward to in 2025!!!
Spot on, as always! I just turned 45 and am having the same crisis. And similarly, no answers. But at least, we know the question.
I'm only 25 but I have also been having issues with mortality and how little time in life I have to do all the things I want to do. At some point, it'll sink into my brain that some things have to be sacrificed, but for the moment, I'll live in my delusion that I can do it all.
I have followed John and Hank for more than 10 years, and listening to this makes me aware of how much time has passed since University, and I also feel blessed and fortunate to not being dead.❤❤❤
I demand a POINT! T_T
(i get it though, there is not enough time, but you have already demultiplicated your time so much, by being so effective about helping not just one, but multiple important causes, i think you also deserve a little rest, and enjoying your family and friends, and decide on what to do "next" when you feel like it's going to be not just worth your time, which is sadly limited, no need to sugarcoat it, but also bringing you joy and satisfaction, no matter how incomplete it'll ever feel).
Take care.
as a 15 year old, this is extremely comforting to know that we will be scared and confused even when we're halfway home
As a fellow halfway-home-er, trying to prepare for a job interview tomorrow at which I'll no doubt be forced to justify why I'm a perfect fit for this job which by right should go to a much younger person, but meanwhile also trying to make a big decision about whether to even stay on this career path, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Same same same samesamesame SAME.
I used to watch your videos ages 12-16. I listened to your podcast at my first job when I was 17. Now I am 22 and returning to your videos. I feel really existentially lost but I find these videos comforting. Thank you.
Puff levels are high today. Thinking carefully about the direction you're walking is great, just don't let the thinking interrupt the doing. Trust yourself to make the best decision for you with the information you have right now, not the information you might have later with hindsight, and start walking. Even if it ends up being the wrong direction, that just means your story has turns.
John - I have spent most of my life contemplating this question. I have come to realize that no matter what that anxiety mosquito will be there by my side when death comes to greet me.
In my low moments I am reminded of the first vlogbrothers I ever watched. I was in my first apartment hundreds of miles from anyone I knew in a job I hated. I had resolved to take the long nap and even had the logistics in order. I was scrolling RUclips stumbled upon Hank Green who told me about "The Game" and informed me that I lost it somehow. (Readers of this comment, you know what you need to do.)
In recent years I have come to identify other games of like nature and realized that life is quite literally that same game. It is the game we cannot not play...When that hit me I kind of got mad at first. But then I realized it didn't matter. All that mattered was the mission that I felt was necessary in order to leave the world better than when it started. How long I have until I hit the great filter is no longer material. If you have a grand dream not yet fulfilled then that is your answer. If you don't, congrats! Enjoy the heaven you helped build.
P.S. For me the point is to bring about true global democracy, in hopes it is World Peace and not Warp Drive that is the prerequisite First Contact. If I'm right I'm on the first shuttle to Risa. If I'm wrong at least we got World Peace.. 🤞
I lost the game. ruclips.net/video/mxIL4thb3NA/видео.html
Dangit, you made me lose the game!
(well, the little mental The Game. It's good to put the "long game" in perspective sometimes, and like... yeah, it's a really good way of putting it to say, "life is a game we cannot not play".)
@@puppyDawg128 If you are interested in metaing "the game" to get victory consider this:
You spend most of your life in a state of not losing the game as you spend most of your time thinking about other things.
You could reason that if you take the aggregate time you spend losing the game and compare it to the aggregate time you weren't then you will find that you have, on balance, WON the game.☯
What raises my anxiety the most besides reading all the stories I read about people leaving us too early, I sense my memory not being as good as it used to be. My grandmother suffered with dementia and scares me that I could too in the future. In all reality it probably won’t happen for a long time. She didn’t get bad til her 80s, but doesn’t ease my fears.
As a fellow forty-something, in a different kind of therapy, a lot of my mental energy lately has been focused on making the second half better than the first half both for myself and those around me as a byproduct.
I went through a big midlife crisis for most of my forties. My therapist explained it as what happens when you switch from looking at your age as time since birth to looking at it as time until death. The thing that ultimately cured it is realizing that there is no time until death, you never know when it's going to happen.
So I’m currently 30 and having a very intense mid/quarter life crisis. And I cannot tell you how comforting this video was for me. Just…the not being alone of it all.
Release those parts of yourself that you can trust in others and give those actions away completely. Touch only that which is too precious to give away and that is you and your purpose. Do not feed the hunger of what might be or could be for it already is and will be.
good way of putting it
I doubt you will ever see this, John, but if you do, know you are not alone. (Yeah... you already know that. I get it. Sorry.) People take different paths to the thing you called "a smidge of a crisis". My path started at age 25 or so, when I realized I had done already accomplished all my big, preprogrammed goals at that point. And now, well over three decades later, the crisis persists. It's just a low simmer now, but it's still there, and I suspect I will have to live with it forever. I hope you have better luck!
As someone going through a one-third life crisis, thank you for this ❤.
I think a lot of us here might be too young to understand what sort of perspective we’ll have in midlife, but I do always wonder whether I should be worrying more about how little time I have left, or not worry at all. Becuz when I seriously consider the things I do with my day, usually sleeping through most of it, procrastinating the rest, avoiding the work and actual studies and even hobbies, then I really wouldn’t get anywhere because I’d be feeling like a failure most of the time. I think we all expect to be somewhere satisfactory by the time we’re in our 40s-50s but thats not assured or inevitable. At least one of my parents has their dream job and the other has seemingly been in a midlife crisis since their 30s and taken it out on everyone around them in bitterness, but now at 60 seems to be somewhere satisfactory for themselves. But I myself have no idea if I’m gonna end up anywhere good at the rate I’m living life, maybe I should finally take the time to read Turtles All The Way Down though because I felt the movie had a great ending that talked about this fear.
as someone far, far younger, but also currently jobless and similarly directionless - thank you for being honest with us, your audience. it's appreciated more than you know.
Same, seeing John being relatable is very comforting.
Nearly 45 and I feel this deeply. Pretty sure I will not read all my books and knit all my yarn and visit all the places I wish I could see, which is a sobering thought. One silver lining - My patience for things I feel will waste my time is pretty much gone and I give myself grace for letting them go. Films that upset me, books that irritate me, people that are toxic. Life is too short and I am more than half way there.
At some point after 40 you will experience what skydivers call 'ground rush'. What at one time was in the far distance growing imperceptibly slowly, suddenly appears to approach at breakneck speed. I'm now 68 and the last decade seems to have passed like a single year in my teens.
If you need someone to have a midlife crisis with, welcome, we are all there with you. You aren’t alone John.
I'm 71. I TOTALLY get it. (My back is killing me, and I should get knee surgery, and... blah, blah, blah...)
I literally watched this right after talking to my therapist about mid-life priorities and existential dread, with a little touch of "what's even the point". Wow. It's comforting to see this sentiment shared by someone I can relate to, even though our circumstances are very different (although we're both middle-aged white guys, well-off in our own ways). Thank you, John.
Not knowing what the point is or if there even is one is something I struggle with regularly. But for now, at least we have each other on this wild journey. Thanks John.
I've been watching vlogborthers videos since 2012.
So over 12 years now.
Every couple of years I will hear John talking about some new "crisis" he's having 😅
Keep on keeping on John. good luck.
I turned 40 this year and lost my mom this past September so I definitely get the mortality thing. Now I also have a daughter who will be 5 in two months who can both make me feel young and incredibly old often at the sametime.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :-(
Hiiiii, Im an avid reader of your books John. Your books changed my perspectives about life and inspired me to be better, thank youuu ❤
Slightly younger then you and I lost my little brother 2 years ago to a very short fight with cancer.
Life is one he'll of a Rollercoaster ride
On the last day with my 18 year old dog and in the midst of chronic pain, this video hit hard.
Sending so much love and peace your way
Hugs to you 😔I am so sorry that you are going through that.
I turned 24 this week and I’m feeling quite similar. The desire to maximize my one life while still enjoying it is a constant struggle.
I don't recommend focusing on maximizing. It's enough, I think, to just make things better.
Thank you for reminding me of something that has been weighing on me as well. At 62 with several health issues , it is a reminder of our finality on this beautiful planet with our families. Much Love to you and Hank.
I've been watching since vlogbrothers started when I was in college. It has always been so helpful to watch you guys do hard stuff before me.
This reminds me of the Wendell Berry poem:
"It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings."
Something I think is really powerful, that I want to emphasize is that he said, "My greatest PROFESSIONAL Passion in life..."
I know for myself I tie my art with my career (I'm an actor/writer) and have had a hard time separating the self from the actor. So speaking like this is super powerful for preserving our dignity when the art is not wholly recognized or praised in the way we think it deserves to be. It also keeps the value on the self and doesn't let anyone else determine your value.
I love you guys so much. That's all, watching the video now.
What I learned studying Camus is so long as you dont take the other options (checking out early, taking up a religious faith) you're doing the thing. Sometimes our purpose involves scouting what to do next.
I really appreciate these thoughts, and all those sharing their feelings in the comments too. Making me feel not alone today.
Not having an answer is the best way to find an answer to these types of problems, I have found. Sitting deeply within the uncertainty and anxiety gives you a chance to start a conversation with parts of you far deeper than the one posing the question. Good luck to you, John.
You're so right about nerdfighteria, it's a beautiful, vital community that is so, so important to so many of us! I initially connected with my friend Bex over p4a and I'm so incredibly grateful!
Just got the 20k coin for the second year in a row. I've been watching since 2009 when I couldn't reliably afford to eat outside of my food service job. The entire way you have helped me find hope to keep going and it's incredible how far along I am when I look back. Thank you for being here
Thank you!
Same age. Thanks for validating the fact that sometimes we have no answers to the questions we feel are the most important to us. People tend to post "end results" or what makes them proud. The space between the question and the answer disappears from view which each time makes me feel as if I am not supposed to be there... even if it is actually the place where life is constructed.
I think you can choose to devote your time to any of those worthwhile causes, and any of those possible choices is the correct choice. You are a good person, and you will contribute positively to the world no matter what you choose. No one expects you to solve every problem because that's impossible. Wishing you clarity and peace with your process ❤
Praying for you, John. The big questions can get overwhelming sometimes.
Thanks for keeping it honest and open John, we're enriched by the transmission of humble truth and perspective 🥰
You might not have free will, but you cannot fail at being you whatever choice you make, as long as you make a choice 🙏
"Early late life crisis" makes my knees hurt. Also, why are we having the same-ish life crisis, you have done so many good things. I know brains do not work this way but I think you are doing wonderfully.
It’s comforting when you make a video that makes me feel less alone. I’m around your age, and I, too, have no idea what the hell I’m doing or should be doing.
When I was 25, I did warehouse work with a bunch of 50+ guys. They loved to gripe about their backs and whatever. My response was always the same:
Yeah, being old sounds awful and I don't want to do it. I'm thinking of a hard cap at 40.
I turn 39 in a few weeks. I don't think I've told the joke in 3 or so years. And it was to someone that had heard it a billion times.
I'll start telling it again at 41 with an extra line. "Wait, I missed it?! Aww shucks, I'll get it time."
Bro, you're nailing it, when I hit my early late life crisis I can only hope I've had 1 tenth the impact for good you've had
42 and RIGHT there with you, John.
I turned 26 on the 26th (only now that I’ve written that do I realize that particular coincidence), and as someone who also is entirely incapable of going a single day without contemplating his death and just what the finite and families of human existence means for me personally, both day to day and by the time I actually die, it’s kind of encouraging to hear someone whom I respect a great deal also have no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going.
You’ve got 20 years on me, John, and yet as I pass the first quarter ( if I’m lucky) of my life, having recently been rejected from every grad school that I applied to in the hopes of someday becoming an English, creative writing, or literature professor, I feel paralyzed regardless. The world gets more complicated and harder to handle. To quote a Hozier song, “It’s not my arms that will fail me, / but this world takes more strength than it gave me.” It’s been a real struggle to find what I want to do with myself while I wait the full calendar year until I can reapply and hopefully get accepted and continue my life plan (all the while anxious that I might have to change that plan entirely).
I think about the transition of act 4 and act 5 of Hamlet a lot. The change in Hamlet when he returns to Denmark, clearly a different man from when he left. No so paralyzed by the enormity of the actions that lay before him. I sometimes wonder what it was like, what it felt like, to have that near serenity of certainty in yourself, regardless of the outcome of what you finally choose. I feel like I’m trying to find that sensation.
Anyway, this is a long way for me to say that I suppose it feels good to know that finding “the point” doesn’t have to be immediate or otherwise bedrock. It can shift, change, get delayed, or be missed entirely, and that’s okay. We’re all just trying to find or make that meaning for ourselves.
Whatever the point is, I hope it’s a good one, whichever we all land on.
A lovely vlogger I've been following since 2007 shared with me once that destiny is something we can only see in hindsight. Keep going John. You're getting there.
I feel your directionless vibe. I am constantly looking for a way.
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 ESV
My faith informs so much that I cannot discount the effect.
I am 53, a bit older than John, and definitely feeling the finite quality of life in full effect. It’s sobering to suddenly realize you are in the early part of late life. Also, much like John, I haven’t quite nailed down those priorities of focus. The playing field keeps shifting…so it’s not so easy.
You and Hank have truly been forces for good, and... And that's it. Even if you feel you don't know the point, you do good. Thank you.
You've been figuring out how to prioritise up to now, and you've been doing a pretty good job of that.
Having long term goals is important too, but the best we can do is to take things one day at a time, to decide how to spend today, rather than trying to figure out some priority on the scale of an entire life. And while you worry about the latter, I'm sure you'll continue doing a pretty good job prioritising all the todays, day after day.
screamed and freaked out when one of my favorite people in the planet referenced one of my favorite poets and one of my favorite poems and lines (I have that poem framed and hung in my bedroom so I’m reminded every day)
extra grateful today for the John Greens and Mary Olivers of the world
John you have OCD, you've been having an ongoing life crisis since you were born. 🥲 But you've been a fucking rockstar so far, so keep on keeping on and you'll be fine! 💚
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings here, John. Really lovely to see other people struggling with similar things 💜
I feel this. While I am far younger than the average for a keen awareness of mortality (20s, at least for a little longer), I went to far too many funerals before my 18th birthday to not be aware. Here's what I've found:
-Prioritize how you feel first. Prioritize your rest, your health, your physical, mental and emotional self. Ignoring these things saps your energy to do the things you love most, and over time will leave you with less energy to do them.
-Next, prioritize the important people in your life. The people who make you happy because they like who you are first, and what you do a distant second. These are the people who care about your whole being, the ones who will grieve you most deeply when you're gone. These are the people who love you deepest, and time with them is precious
-Third, prioritize the things that make you feel energized from investing in. There's good work to do everywhere, but work that fills you on the way costs less energy. It's down here though, because work of any kind should not be a coping skill, it makes work too important. If you need to work to feel okay with your brain, that's a recipe for overworking, burnout, and neglected relationships. Work doesn't grieve you when you're gone, it just grieves the output you could have had. No matter how vital, how necessary the work, the work must come after self and important relationships, as the work will never know you or love you or tend your needs
Thank you for this comment. Seriously. Reminds me why I care so much about health and good people and purpose, and in what order is healthiest.