Feeling Shame | Matt and Blue
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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Today Matt and Blue visit the topic of shame and how they use it keep growing in life.
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ABOUT MATT AND BLUE: Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton are the dynamic duo you know and love: Matt and Blue! They enjoy making content that shows their everyday life, whether it be a new camping adventure, a fun DIY home project, or cooking up the tastiest new recipe for their son. Make sure to subscribe to Matt and Blue on RUclips so you never miss a new video!
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As a mental health professional, I LOVE this conversation. Everyone needs to experience shame, embarrassment, guilt, and even regret because they help us learn more about ourselves and the world around us. These really negative emotions are actually so beautiful because they are a learning opportunity waiting to happen. Giving yourself the space to feel negative emotions in how we connect deeper to ourselves and with others.
Love you guys so much. Beautiful family. Your banter is so sweet.
I'm 81 (with my partner for 41 years) and I continue to make mistakes. Why? Because I'm human. It's a part of life. Welcome to the living. Love you guys and your family, You continue to bring joy into my life. God bless.
loving your shirt Blue
As a young gay boy, I was terrified of pink. I thought people would know I was gay if I liked that color. Flash forward 40 years and the 5'2" straight little Tibetan monk who ordained me, his favorite color is pink. And, to top it off, the straight American monk who I lived with at the temple, his favorite color was periwinkle. I've gotten over my fear of colors as an old man. Colors are beautiful. We can consider ourselves lucky to experience so many gorgeous colors. 🏳🌈❤🙏🌈
It’s your body clearing memories (energy) from your past to give you more room for your future..❤🙏❤️
You two are so nice and cute talking about that. That’s only shows that you are good persons.
I have been dealing with this for months now more then usual, mixed with grief, regret. My mother passed away due to cancer earlier this spring. I often forget that she is gone, go to call her or check in on her. I often reflect on how I was not a good enough son, etc. etc. Then I feel guilt and shame for even sharing or even talking about she is gone. Life.
I lost my father after a 5 year battle with cancer, was at his bedside holding his hand when he took his last breath so I know EXACTLY what your going through. Lets break this down-wanting to call and check on her, sharing this experience and talking about her is not simply perfectly normal, it's critically important to do in order to process grief in a healthy way. And it will come up randomly and take a long time to get through. Took me 2 years before I could let go of not just grief but a kind of survivors guilt I was feeling because he was only 62 where as his father lived to be 84 and his father 102. As for your "not a good enough son"...do you mean in some abstract, too perfect, unobtainable by any normal human sense or you lived your own life on your own terms unconcerned with her unreasonable or selfish expectations for it or you were actually a neglectful person who didn't show her love/respect that she deserved? OR you did show her you cared, you did spend time whith her when you could, you did take care of her to the best of your abilitiy to the end? Think this through so you can be clear on what the reality of the situation is. There are two lines of dialogue from, of all things, Battlestar Galactica, that put into perfect relief how to approach life and death. 1) "I hope you won't rush to judgement, wait for all the facts to come in. Context matters". 2) "YOU were terrified. YOU saw only darkness. You can't possibly know what your mother experienced". Anyway I hope all this helps in some way to get you through this. peace.
Love the vulnerability! I can totally relate. Shame sucks! I think as LGBTQ+ people that shame and guilt become more powerful forces for us than they are for other people. For me it’s been a life long journey. “Feelings aren’t facts” is a saying that I tell myself fairly often to remind myself that just because I feel shame doesn’t mean that those feelings are coming from a place of reality but rather from a deeply rooted negative perception of events or myself. And there’s relief in that for me. Love you guys ❤️
I still feel guilt about leaving my Koi fish back in MA when I moved to FL the fish were only 2 inches when I brought them home e when I moved they were over10 inches I had like over 20 of them and kept them in a man made pond on 2.5 acres. I had a historic home that was built in 1798 that I restored over 18 years. There were 100 year evergreens that towered over the house. I felt that I let it down when I moved to FL. Now for the shame and guilt ...I a year later I flew north to visit with my sister for Christmas after she picked me up at the airport feeing sentimental I asked her to drive by the old house. Well I wasn't prepared for came next she pulled the car over to the side of the road and with tears in her eyes she shut off the holiday music took my hand and said "It's gone... all of it" I couldn't speak and when I did all I could say was what and why and when? Well evidently the new owners tore down the house to build a new one also had the trees cut down and pond filled in. Talk about guilt that so much was destroyed and the shame that everyone that knew me was aware of the situation. The embarrassment that I alowed this historic treasure to be violated haunts me to this day, It was listed on the historic register and was used as part of the underground railroad. History, the pond with Koi and those beautiful evergreen trees all erased from the earth. So yes I know what it feels like to put a shovel in the ground and feel all those emotions flood in and I am powerless to change any f those events. Now I mourn loss as I do family that have past and keep he memories of how fulfilled each project gave me. LOL When you first started talking I was like what are they talking about? But then I started to understand you all have been going through changes and some separation anxiety along with new life adjustments in the new place. Good luck with all that you are planning on. 🌈
Thanks for sharing. Having occasional focused memory of an interaction one feels some guilt or shame about is VERY common. You are so correct to keep it in perspective. As you said, your memory of it is most likely more intense than others involved at the time. They might not even remember it or perceived it differently. Take care guys! ❤🌈
I want that CROW sweat shirt.
Even though we know everyone has these feelings from time to time, it doesn’t make it any easier when we experience them.💛
I know I am my worst critic. I believe we need to give ourselves a break. We are human and humans do silly things. Laughing at your silliness is part of the cure. Brene Brown reminds us we are all doing our best. That is all we can do. Our best. Thanks for the chat. It was a really good one.🙂
It’s near xmas again. ❤love you guys.
One of the most attractive quality of man is to be able and accept to be vulnerable . It is far from being weak. Thank you for what you shared today.
I’m glad the white cat has a home!
Funny that you made this comment, it's the only thing I thought of during the whole video.
@@johntowner5906 - Great minds think alike!
Never be ashamed to express your feelings we are human beings and our emotions show that we are and should never hold it in. I also think of the stupid stuff l did when l was in school but you learn and grow from it that’s why it stays in our memories. I still do stupid things but some of it is funny and that is what makes you who you are. What a great video brings back a lot of memories.
You are so right it's very important to Express your feelings instead of just bottling things up
It's part of being alive, you are human, nothing is wrong with you, theres nothing wrong with expressing your feelings are crying, it will make you a better person. Love yourself and others.
The big difference between the two that I’ve gotten from Brene Brown’s books and podcasts is that guilt says you made a mistake, shame says you are a mistake. Guilt says I did something wrong, and I need to take the steps to fix it or at least make sure I try to never do that again. That’s healthy. Shame says you can’t fix the problem because there is something inherently flawed in you. Seems as though Blue’s tree memory is tied up in some shame of feeling like he was somehow broken. It could also be tied up to some grief from the loss of someone close to him at such a young age. Doesn’t sound like he got much instruction in how to process grief. In all of it, we hope we learn, we grow, and we do better going forward.
Hey guys love those chairs I hope you guys enjoy your weekend much love to you guys from Shreveport Louisiana peace to the world🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤😍😍😍
Good morning just want to give big boy a hug I'm 40 years old
Next time you’re digging a hole, bury your shame in it. Hold a ceremony: Write down those shame-filled memories on pieces of paper, burn them one by one with appropriate words of farewell for each and throw the ashes in the hole. Then fill the hole with dirt and bury the dead past.
Invite friends and relatives! Serve a feast with wine, laughter, and tales of the past! Celebrate the death of your shames with a ritual that has meaning for you.🎉😅❤
Wow road to 400k subscribers! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
We all done something in life or a few things in life that still hit us a certain way, I think we learn from them every time they randomly hit us
I love you guys. This is a constant discussion amongst my queer friends as we unlearn some behaviors and perceptions of ourselves that bring up these feelings of shame. It’s good to speak openly about it and acknowledge where it comes from for each of us! Love the differentiation of guilt and shame too, that’s huge! More discussion vids please!!
Matt and Blu, don't feel shame on anything you say, unless you say or do something to intentionally hurt someone. I'd call it learning. You 2 are the greatest. I look forward to everyone on of your videos. I'm also Gay. You kids are awesome. Thank you for adopting them!
I have those random moments too about past experiences. Maybe awareness has something to do with it. I like how you both have articulated it in this video. Thanks for sharing!
Did anyone else zone out around the 2/3 minute mark? And then let Matt’s cuteness snap you back out of it.
Me too. Childhood things that do not mean anything they wrap in guilt and talk doesn’t work. The same stupid thing returns with the same level angst.
So the white cat stayed with the house and the new owners adopted him ? You still have the indoor black cat ... Oh the white cat is there
Yeah, Sue is the white cat that they've had the longest. That's the one they brought with them.
Great conversation! I absolutely have things that I have said, or done, or have happened to me, as far back as when I was a kid, pop up at random times that make me cringe and question! What’s unbelievable is that at my age (I’m a bit older than you two) that I still get bothered by them! There’s a quote by Maya Angelou “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better do better.” From the time we are born to the time we die we are constantly evolving, learning and changing as the world changes. I know for me, there are things I was taught, were ingrained in me as a child that I no longer agree with and it is a struggle dealing with the conflicting emotions! I have learned to recognize, check and correct myself when I say/do (or am about to) something inappropriate or cringe worthy, which is good and I like to think shows growth and maturity. Don’t get me wrong, I still make mistakes all the time! I am a continuous work in progress! Quickly, on the subject of men showing emotion/vulnerability, you are human and should feel no shame or embarrassment in expressing yourselves! I think that’s why we are in a mental health crisis in this country! We feel we are to suppress our feelings and emotions, especially men, because it’s a sign of “weakness”. All that bottled up frustration can only lead to a negative outcome so I say let the tears flow, speak out and share your vulnerability! It will bring much needed healing! Enough of my rambling! Take care guys! Much love and big hugs to the 4 of you!✌🏽
Not foolish at all. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your truth.
It’s very relatable. It’s the unnecessary shit that keeps you up at night. I wish we can simply acknowledge it and move on without any of the internal suffering.
Hmm happens to me all the time too. Next time it happens to you try to remember this moment when you made someone feel a little less alone instead of whatever other negative memory and the guilt/shame/embarrassment anything that comes with it.
I do so get what you guys are discussing, constantly going through "shameful" situation with my sister's, damned if, damned if I don't when it comes down to so, so much. Ditto on another comment I read, loving the Crow shirt!! ♥️🤘🙏
Thank you for bringing this subject to light. I know so many people hide these issue and don't know how to express their feelings. There is no reason to hiding your emotions or feelings so reach out to others and express whatever issues your internalizing.
thank you for being men and still be open about your feelings. such an important thing to do these days. So, one of the MANY fun things about getting older is things like that may bubble up more. it's ok, it happens to everyone. I know there is this whole stigma around therapy, that it's like going to the doctor, that it's only for really sick people. But it's really not like that a tall. If you find the right person to work with it can just be a good talk with an old friend. It can be so helpful even for just the little things that bubble up to get input from someone that is more objective and trained to help people sort things out. If that's not a step you can take right now, just let that shit go bro! life it too short to carry all those things with you. It's ok to consider the past, but when we bring it into the present and carry it like baggage we are trading our peace and happiness for a problem we no longer have, something that is in the past. guilt and shame seem like such a waste of energy. take care and be well ;) peace to the world!
Deep subject going on this morning (for me EST) fellas! But I know what you mean, thoughts popping up in your head for no reason when you are doing something or being somewhere that has nothing to do with your thought, lol. I call it the crazy side, so I just try and get it out of my head so I can be in that moment that I'm in! And I certainly don't deserve to beat myself up over things from the past to cause me continued emotions/stress of how they already made me feel before. Those thoughts, and everyone has their own and how they deal with them, just have no room in the present for me. And they probably been hanging around a long time for whatever reason in that brain of ours. Just for me I give them no more power. Doesn't mean they won't pop back up, but I just try and cut them off with other thoughts that matter. Your choice, it's up you. And I want to thank you for putting that song "Shame" from the 70's in my head (Evelyn Champagne King) for probably most of the day now (non comparable Shame) ! I had to even (already) go and pull up a music video of it! Take care and see you next time.
We remember those cringeworthy moments from our youth and even things that occur today because we attach an emotional component to those moments and emotion has long lasting staying power. If you rethink about those incidents you will remember how you FELT at the time and it’s that which gives it gravitas. So it’s about forgiving yourself and realizing how healing self-forgiveness is. Once you can do that, shame and especially guilt, which is completely useless, dissolve. It takes practice and commitment but it works.
When an embarrassing thought floods my memory bank I verbally utter "What a fool I am." And then there are those times that I need to say "Satan, get behind me!" I can go long times remembering none of the embarrassments and suddenly "bam!" my mind is a washed with those times when I cried, or misspoke, or almost did something stupid and I'll lay in bed thinking of the consequences if I had actually done the deed truly incurred some ridicule upon myself. One example was supposing a friend was the same orientation as I am and I came real close to acting when he announced he hated "queers" (probably dating myself using queer). I am so glad I didn't act but every so often the event creeps back into my consciousness and a wave of embarrassment flows over me. I've even looked in the mirror to see myself blushing 😡
Reminds me of being a Catholic facing my confession. You guys are so kind and make me a better person by talking over important stuff normally not discussed. Your son has brought you so much joy. Thanks for sharing. Jim Colahan
There is no shame in feeling shame sometimes, as long you stay humble. ❤ love always.. always love ❤️
Brene Brown also talks about vulnerability which you two beautifully displayed in this video. Thanks for being open and sharing your light with the world around this important topic.
This a good video. It was informative and I heard so many things. Matt is right about people's social skills have suffered because of the pandemic. People's skills suffered because I work in an academic environment and there are issues and people need to be aware of things changed and not in a good way. I think we all regret things we said or do or feel we should handle them differently. We all experience shame. We learn by doing. We learn from our mistake. I know recently I have become aware o my own actions and have made changes to those actions. Tone and infliction mean a lot. It is also a mindset too when things happen. Brene Brown is a professor at the university where I work in academics. Thank you for this video.
I see where your coming from.
I have put my foot in my mouth lot in growing up. As I still do it to this day.
As you both have talk about something that is important to everyone.
You will always be in our hearts when you feel like a fool. We really care about you.
Thanks for this video. Verbalizes things I have thought about for years. Growing up in the South, and closeted until my 30's, I had my share of things of this nature. Thanks!
Just now saw this and you speak red life and what's marvelous is that you could be superficial attractive people but as a COUPLE you have such introspective discussions between you
Being single and living alone during COVID, I have found that my social skills are very lacking. I was alone for way too long and it is going to be a process to get back to normal. I realize that I now tend to "over share" or ramble, and then feel embarrassed after the fact. Now I tend to be more silent for fear of rambling. You guys are amazing - Loved this conversation. WHERE CAN WE GET THAT CROW SHIRT?
Thank you for the conversation. I especially appreciate acknowledging the relearning of social graces after the pandemic. I find myself wanting to and being more comfortable staying home. I had a panic attack at a memorial service where I knew all the people and was once professionally and actively involved with them. I'm now taking a class at a local junior college just to be around people again and not feel the shame of the panic attack. I'm feeling much better and appreciate the chance to voice my thoughts.
So the white cat stayed with the house and the new owners adopted him ? You still have the indoor black cat
Just the opposite. Guess you didn't watch the video if you didn't see the white cat in Blue's lap. The black cat stayed with the new owners.
@@zrp8y23 I guess you didn't read my comment I stated that the white cat was with them
You guys are amazing!!! Don’t feel shame about be who you are or sharing your thoughts. We all humans. 😊 and peace to the world now have two voices 🥰
Great conversation. Love that you referenced Brene Brown. I have come to understand shame in this way. Shame that devalues our person or that makes us feel that we aren’t good or worthy enough compared to others is Toxic Shame. Shame that convicts our behavior in a way to want to improve or do better is Healthy Shame.
Great video! Your deep discussion of guilt and shame was beautiful!
Guilt is a useless emotion unless you do something to purposely hurt someone else. Shame comes from others and how they make us feel, or how we perceive they feel about us. Embarrassment comes from us feeling self conscious about ourselves and our lack of confidence I ourselves. Love those red chairs BTW.
To the person reading this, even though I don't know you. I wish you the best of what life has to offer. 🙏 🤗❤️
How nice of you. A big hug from Argentina.
😁😍❤️
@@kelelithabane2849 🥰🤗❤️
@@lilianadoval8927 👍🤗
Amen
I absolutely love y'all and what you bring to the world. Your take on life is so refreshing and relatable. I have been following you both for years and am always amazed at how awesome you both are. I forget y'all are actually famous lol. I literally listen am like "Wow such wisdom and wonderful perspective, why did I start following them again? OOOH they are famous and I wanted to know what they life was like outside of the media, that's why. LOLOLOL." No matter how you feel, you have been a blessing to the world and all that shame and guilt that you may feel is nothing when compared to the love, peace, and comfort you bring to your community both wherever you call home and to the alphabet mafia that you have paved the way for. I've never commented before because i feel like you get so many comments that you can't possibly see them all so I always feel guilty for writing these and adding to your plate, but in the spirit of the video I am putting out there that you are loved in so many ways and that we all have our moments and sharing yours makes me feel like i am perfectly imperfect and these feelings don't define me. Thanks again for the great video.
This was a great discussion. I totally agree that we all make mistakes and say things we regret. I look back at things I’ve said to my children and I cringe and feel so bad. I have apologized to my kids and nine times out of ten they don’t even remember it. I try very hard to learn and grow from my shame.
I feel we are all imperfectly perfect human beings just as long as we’re being our authentic selves. A favorite quote of mine by Terrence I am human therefore nothing human is foreign to me.
I think Blue was embarrassed by the public tree-planting surprise, and in retrospect is ashamed that he let his cousin's death embarrass him.
We must never be ashamed of who we are. If you are not appreciated as you are, it means that you are not worthy. Everyone makes mistakes, and there is no going back. You just have to try not to reproduce it and move on. He is very lucky who bought your house. He must say wow I live at Matt and Blue. It's sad that ralph stayed there, i really liked that cat. And i also like sue and airliss, and Crow and Rosa and Matt and Blue. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Those moments are to be learned from,but you must also be able to forgive yourself to move foward,lesson learned on to the next one mabe if they keep coming to mind in the quiet moments you are human this is how we learn .🤗
I guess I am fortunate that my most regretful memories don't induce shame. They most certainly do induce embarrassment; momentous, I want to crawl under a rock embarrassment. Even forty years later, I feel that burn from time to time. Whether it's shame, guilt or embarrassment, we have to forgive ourselves so that we can evolve and move on.
I think it's good that we are occasionally reminded of those huge, regretful blunders. Being a "good and decent" person isn't something you accomplish "once and done." It's a lifelong endeavor.
The next time you want to jump into one of the holes you've dug, own what you did, why it was bad and promise yourself you will never make that blunder again. Say, "Yes, I did that stupid, STUPID, careless, thoughtless, selfish thing. I know I (example) made so-and-so feel small. But I'm not that person, anymore. I've grown. I'm better than that now. I know better now. I promise myself and the universe that I will never do that again; that's really all I can do."
When we feel guilt about something from our past, we have two choices. We can determine if there is anything we need to do to repair/repent and do it, including apologizing. If there is nothing to be done, we can forgive ourselves and move on. Let it go. We can’t let mistakes from our past govern our future.
Great videos guys. Matt I can't ever imagine you not being a people person. Blue to grieve, to cry is human. It shows you care. I hate it when people shame talk a little boy or man for showing their emotions by crying. Big hugs to you guys as always.👍
Really enjoyed this video. Matt, your "foolish rambling" is filled with intuition and insight, not to mention on point. Thanks for sharing. As for that guy sitting to your left.....🔔 SHAME!! ✌️💙
Certainly one major change is that many politicians seem to have no shame especially when caught in lies or crimes or hypocrisy. I think Matt hit the nail on the head when he said about people being sociopaths.
Several years ago I got my husband a plot of land for Christmas through Established Titles. He loved it and loves throwing his newfound “Lord” title around. Heehee.
🌴☀️🌴
I think it's great that you get pictures from the previous-house new-owners. I'm still in contact with my exes too. Aw. Love you guys. ❤🏳🌈
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
What a gift you gave fellow travelers today. Thanks and thanks 🙏
I carried Shame over an event when I was 16 until I was 31. Once this event happened, I felt my Mom must have seen me in this disgusting light. When I was 31 I brought it up to my Mom and she said she had long ago forgotten it even happened. She did not judge me in that light for all those years. My shame kept me on the straight and narrow, but Mom never thought ill of me. Hmmm...is this part of what your ramble was about? Our own internal checks that help make us better people?
So I realized some years ago, when those memories pop up - and you describe the random spontaneity of it perfectly - that I had already lived through them and what I was feeling was a sense memory rather than a current reaction. It took me a while to separate the two. Basically, you’ve survived all of your “worst days” so far and that realization healed some of those memories for me.
You're right on point here. Nothing cringy at all. I just had to talk myself down from a horrible dream I had last night that left me with all the shame feelings. It wasn't real, but I felt it. Old issues of being gay and bullying about it. And some old regrets about life choices mixed in. Thanks for sharing and normalizing feelings we all have, and particularly gays!
Sioux is so white and fluffy now. Indoor life looks so good on that furball!
Matt, if you’ve failed, I want to fail like you, & I would love to be as successful & human as you. I watch you guys, because I love you, & I admire you, & I’m on a quest to find my version of you.
There are good things about getting older but one down side is that the list of cringe moments just keeps getting longer. 😢 Yeah, their purpose is to improve our future but it still would be nice to be able to lance them and reduce the pain. 😖
Totally relate..I think it is a matter of acknowledging , valuing coz those all went together to make you who you are today...but to then turn and live now and look to the future...to grow. You know I always get happy..love the shirt..I was told forever ago that the crow is my spirit animal..they are my positive...so you two are one of my positives so thank you for that..and thank you that I am not the only" I wonder 🤔" . ☺💪👏❣💋
Thanks for doing this video,I got a lot out of it,I have such admiration for you both.😀❤❤
Love your shirt ,Blue
Glad to know where the cat and chickens went and hsve a hsppy home
This is like a therapy session lol. No, really, I enjoy your ramblings and musings, keep doing it
Shame is not a present feeling. It lies in the past. One can only change the past by changing the present through removing false narratives and learning to respond differently.
I love you guys. ❤
LMAO DAYUM 😭😂 the story from Macy’s. I woulda died inside hahahaha. Oh god. I’m sorry for laughing but that shit is hilarious haha. Yeah I woulda never used that word again too from that
We might all have moments of shame, but you've got to let go and move forward. You two have those beautiful children, you've built a wonderful life and you have each other 🥰🥰
There are times when we all need to stop and think before we speak, that's all. Keep up these fabulous videos!!
Shame keeps us together as a community/tribe. A useful emotion.
I don’t. I don’t feel shame, nor am so I feel embarrassed of my actions from when I was younger. I know there were people that tried to make me feel ashamed for being overweight, or nerdy, or not being in style with everyone else, but it never worked. I’m just one of those people. I love public speaking, and I love screwing up when I do it. I love owning my error’s because I turn it into a teaching moment for me and everyone else that we are all human and we make mistakes and there’s never a reason to feel foolish. DUDE, I fell into an open grave during a funeral service once!! I crawled out and laughed it off, seriously!! The mistakes we make as kids are expected, and never as bad as we think they are. We say things that we didn’t know better, or like me, I knew better but didn’t care because I wanted people to have a good laugh!! I had a hippy friend in High School, she had a pair of jeans that she had all her friends write on. They were covered in signatures, and peace signs, and statements like “Free Mandela” and “Stop apartheid”!! She asked me to sign them… I said, “You sure you want that”? She said Yes. Across her right butt cheek I wrote “I Own Slaves”. 35 years later, she still owns those jeans. Through a multitude of washings, everything has faded with the exception of what I wrote on her right butt cheek. Am I embarrassed by it, hell no I still think it’s funny! Does that make me a bad person? Absolutely not do I feel shame for no I was a kid and we still laugh about it to this day.
I was also the guy that stopped a woman from beating her in a drug store. Do I feel bad for my actions? Nope. I warned her that if she smacked her child one more time she’d regret it… and she hauled off and slapped that little girl like she was Rocky Balboa!! Then asked me what I was going to do about it? So I smacked her in the face, wrapped my fist in her ponytail, and literally dragged her out of the store kicking and screaming. On my way out I told the counter girl to call the police and CPS. Do I feel ashamed of my behavior? Nope. I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. She got arrested for child abuse and the kid was taken away from her.
I fell off a stage once during a performance, thought I was hitting my mark but was off by 3 feet, and it wasn’t a graceful fall… it’s just life. You have to embrace it no matter what it is.
We are allowed to make those mistakes in high school. Remember that. As long as we learn from it, better to do it then, rather than as an adult. We are all ignorant, until we make the mistake and don't repeat it.
Love You Both More. Please dont soak up guilt like a sponge as I allowed myself to. At 17 I was disinherited for coming out and the shame I experienced has followed me to this day. So I have tried to somehow thought living my whole life without experiencing my sexuality and living a lonely life would make me acceptable. I missed my opportunity to experience true love and have kept myself volunteering to help other people and animals. A rewarding life but not the same as being loved. So Im pretty much over myself now and instead of the cat lady I was the Dog Man with a Rescue for many years. I have kept the last four that no one wanted and they are between 9 and 16 years and what a Joy they have been. What you can do differently going forward Change. Its OK. Im so Proud of You for Your family as well as for how you have treated all of your pets and other animals. You are an inspiration!!!!!!!!🙂
Let it go. You are the only one who remembers this. Move on. Make the ‘now’ about the good that you can do. Your videos are helping people. Remember that.
I thoroughly enjoyed this video, like I enjoy all your videos!🙂
Memories are a funny thing in that abt of current actions can cause a memory to resurface. These memories serve as reminder to never forget a moment in our lives.
Addionally, I feel that the small difference between feelings of shame & embarrassment can cause confusion.
In my opinion shame is felt when you know the outcome of your actions has caused discomfort or pain for someone else. When you feel your actions could've been handled better can create shane
Embarrassment is felt when you know your actions were different than society norms, but no harm was done to anyone else. Blue's experience when he was 10 during the tree planting for his deceased cousin would've been embarrassment. I agree with Matt in that society's view that "boys don't cry" is embedded in kids from a young age that it has a long lasting impact on our lives until we reach the mindset, as told to Crow self ownership and non embarrassment for something you enjoy is what matters.
Personally speaking, growing up with my family was them being over- bearing about what boys should do and not do. As an adult i have purposely blurred those lines to reduce my family's expectations and thought processes, thankfully to some success.
Thank you for all your videos, especially those that open up your lives and share deep thoughts and moments as such. I love being able to see your beautiful family.
Much blessings to your family, Peace to the World 🌏🕊✌️
Lovely Ones!! Always !!
Guilt is from words or actions we do to others that are inappropriate. Embarrassment is when we're not good enough or we make a public mistake where judgment by others is often involved. Shame is an internalized feeling that we generate on ourselves which can also be triggered by someone else's words or actions on us.
Men whether gay, trans, or straight aren't supposed to be vulnerable. It's labeled a feminine quality or weakness. I say 💩. Why? Vulnerability requires courage ! Courage has a masculine energy of chivalry. Hope my $.02 helps
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Love you guys 💙💚💛🧡
Sometimes it pops in my head things from years ago.. for example.. senior year of high school I stuffed the ballot box at our school's "Most Likely" and I can't believe I ever did something like that. And I know they knew I did it because they cancelled doing it for the yearbook. I can't seem to ever let go of that. lol
Where’s Crow and Rosa? Always great to see them. Love you guys.❤️
I also "Love that you referenced Brene Brown"
One of your most loyal fans...I think it was a great video topic. Reflective! If we did that more often then we as a society wouldn't be so screwed up! My opinion only! Glad you guys came home! Hugs! Oh heck when are you going to do a live feed to raise some money for the Foster Kids program??!? Be well!
Love you matt 💖😘😍
Great discussion, thanks for putting it out there.
This is one of the best videos you put out in a while love it