I can relate 100%. I felt like you were talking about my problems all the time. Always when someone random calls me on the phone, I can't really figure out who's behind the line, even after they tell it to me at the start of the call. I have tried to learn listening very carefully but still almost always I miss it. I let them say what they were about to say and then ask, "sorry, who was this again?" Same problem in school lectures, I never understand what the teacher is trying to explain, I just can't make those words meaningful in my mind. Only way I could learn is to DO something instead... I get tired easily when I am supposed to listen and listen, so I end up closing my eyes. This can help understanding to some extent, but i'm afraid people think I am just tired and not listening at all. If someone gives me instructions to anything, I always have the urge to ask them to repeat, to make sure I understand. The truth is, I never understood it on the first hearing, I just need to hear it once more. This has been a huge problem for me for quite long and I think I have finaöy found the answer for this, among all the other asperger problems you also have!
This is a slightly more severe form of what I experience, but it's almost eerie how similiar your description is. I'm actually very good at making eye contact, as long as I'm not the one talking. When I'm speaking, I have to look off as I'm thinking how to express myself. But every now and then, especially when I'm tired, my brain completely skips the first half of what someone is saying. I also do 10x better when given written instructions, as I'm too focused trying to process what people are telling me to do to be able to remember it, as well. Thank you for speaking about this. The few people I've talked about my suspicion of having aspergers tend to "poo poo" it, as I'm very good at disguising my symptoms. Also, females tend to be more mildly affected. Also, your description about an auditory overload is spot on. This speech dyslexia flares up the most when I'm tired or in a crowded room. I can hear what the person is saying perfectly, but my brain is overloaded and just doesn't process the meaning of it. I'm curious, does this also extend to movies for you like it does me? When I'm watching movies by myself, I almost prefer subtitles. I read fast enough that it doesn't affect trying to actually watch the movie, and I pick up so much more dialogue that way.
I realized that I couldn't process people's words while looking at them at some point too. I think it's noticeable that I strain when listening to people, and if they talk too fast or give me too many instructions at a rapid pace I have to make them slow it down, let me write things down as they tell me (and sometimes I comprehend the depth of what they said once I've seen it written on paper) or just hope and pray my brain collected it all and try my best
Fantastic video! I was searching for evidence that those with Aspergers speak with clear enunciation and perhaps an "accent" not shared with their family or geographic region. I've had people ask if I was British, teachers tell me to "stop talking in an accent", etc. I'm not sure if this is something you can relate to, but the "auditory dyslexia" is spot-on, including the reflexive "What?" while I'm still processing the meaning behind the jumbled syllables.
It really helps me to affirm what the other person is saying while they're explaining something to me. Let's say a teacher is telling me to go to a certain room and pick up a certain book, I will say "Okay, I'll go to room A233." then when they say which book I'll repeat the title back to them, for example I might say "Oh, you want a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. Okay." It's the only thing that helps me remember. Then after I'm done talking to them I'll repeat the directions over and over. Even then I usually need some clarification but being an active listener really helps. But if the person insists on making eye contact I really can't process what they're saying, especially if it's directions of any kind. Also I've found that whenever I ask someone a question, unless I remind myself to I usually don't listen to or process the answer. Auditory dyslexia is a great way to put this phenomenon.
Thanks - and I really really mean that. You've managed to articulate something I've had real problems with for nearly 70 years! A lot of the comments are reassuring too, including in the 'it's not just me' sense.
I can relate to this. My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome, I have it too, just not so much. Great video. Wish more people understood. You have genius intelligence, no need to apologize for that. Just be the brilliant person that you are. People should be more wise and more informed. You are doing great! Just stay positive and look for the positive side of things. It makes life so much easier. And what other people think of you is none of your business, it's their business and their problem. I pray you see yourself through God's eyes, you were made for a purpose, a great purpose.
I get this too, sometimes it's like people are speaking a foreign language. As you said, you know the words that are being said but you can't make out what is being meant by what they're saying. I get this even with people I'm more familiar with. I also get problems trying to put my thoughts into words and communicating verbally in general can be really difficult. It's very frustrating, I'm very socially awkward and introverted as a result.
Yes, I really have to fight with this as well. I got asked to be President of my local gun club, it's been a real reach to do public speaking and not shut down if I get stuck. Thankfully it's become easier with time but I still don't really enjoy it but figure it's good for me. Thankfully I have a very practical way of getting things done and can clearly see things in my head, even though I feel like I'm translating everything from another language.
Great Video. From one Dyslexic to another, I am going to suggest that you have a hearing test to find out if there is indeed a difference in your right side hearing as to your left, more than likely there isn't. Although you are saying you have a hearing problem more than likely you may be experiencing an eye to eye shyness problem. Being overly Shy is not all that uncommon. Also, shyness is not all that difficult to eliminate from one’s personally traits. Take your time and start looking in a mirror at yourself with a stopwatch in hand. Time yourself until you feel that you must look away. Try to increase your-face-time to yourself every time you do this exercise. ..After you accomplish looking in the mirror without a problem, then do the same thing and time yourself as you film yourself. Look directly into the camera lens until that reluctance has passed also. By the way Auditory Dyslexia has nothing to do with one's ability to hear. Good Luck, FR
You described me so perfectly... For me it's "Pardon?". For years I've wanted to do a write-up of what it is like for me. You touched on so many different pieces, and there was not one thing you said that didn't apply to me.
I have the same problem, and a similar solution. I cup my right ear, as that is the one that I seem to need to make speech clearer. Especially in noisy cafés etc. I also try to lip read as well. This is also why I don’t like meetings and parties. I cannot concentrate on one person, my mind goes from conversation to conversation and then I keep on tuning in and out, so the other person thinks I am rude. It is just I am being distracted. Music is important to me, I have an very good ear, but I hear more than most people, so what happens is there is too much sensory information. This I think is the same as what you have. I have carefully listened to your examples and videos of music and see a great similarity. For me it is sorry? Sorry, I didn’t get that and it happens all the time. If the speaker does not separate their words, it makes this worse.
This was really interesting. I've never heard anyone else describe the exact auditory processing issues I have before. I've found that if what the person has said to me isn't too long I don't need them to repeat it. I can hold on to and repeat their words in my head over and over until I can extract the meaning, but sometimes it takes a while. It feels like that pathway in my brain has shut off and I have to wait for it to turn back on if that makes sense.
I really appreciate your videos and I hope you continue to make them. I've found all of them fascinating, and I find a lot of similarities between you and myself, even though I don't have Asperger's syndrome or any form of autism. I do have social anxiety disorder, and as a result am introverted, which contributes to the similarities in the way we think and perceive things.
Thank you for sharing this information. I think you are very good at explaining what your experiences are, which helps me understand myself and my husband much better. You are educating me, and I am grateful for that.
like when someone talks down to you when they think you cant hear them, tell them not to do that. you can train the human apes around you. its not there fault there intelligence isn't on par to your situation awareness
I have both ASD and central auditory pressing disorder (CAPD) which seems to be your problem too. The hearing in both my ears is fine but my brain is not. One of the new solutions for this that many doctors are hesitant to try is being fitted with hearing aids (they improve the smaller sounds of speech so recognition occurs quicker and also have setting that block out back ground noise brings forward the sound that you are looking at) Since being fitting i would not give my hearing aids up for the world i can now hear in noisy envioments before i was practically deaf, my word processing is much faster so i don't sound so "slow" because there is a less of a delay in response time and mentally iam not as fatigued trying to hear people i last longer in conversations now look up the book when the brain can't hear its very insightful
I had that problem all of the time. My mother would think I was ignoring her or not listening and hit me. She knew I had been born 4 weeks premature and later ignored repeated requests from the Children's hospital to bring me in for to be assessed for autism. She said sometimes I could mimic songs or what people were saying. She knew I was different. I still have these problems now at times, but the autism diagnosis has made it easier to understand why I had so many problems at school and from my siblings and mother in childhood and into adulthood.
THANK YOU. I was only diagnosed with Asperger's in the last month - I thought I was going crazy. I used to overhear people ask "is that girl deaf?" often at work - which is pretty funny, because I could easily decipher what was being said ABOUT me - just not what was spoken TO me, especially if I was trying to maintain eye contact, which causes me to almost go into a zoned-out trance state where I remember nothing informational about the interaction.
Have all of these issues. Was working in a cafe for the past year. Was so loud and I had to cock my right ear close to everyone who came in. Found that, on reflection, I was often not staring at them when I was listening. Also, based on your last video about authority figures, really struggled especially to look my manager in the eye. He really scared me to be honest even though he was genuinely a nice person. He would sometimes get mad that I couldn't remember all the orders as they came through, but I was honestly listening the best I could. When I had registered and categorised all the drink options in my auditory memory and on the till system, this all became a lot easier. It took me a while though. Damn I hated doing that job, so stressful!
Recently self-diagnosed with AS or ASD. Wow, yet another one of those AHA moments where I am laughing at the fact that this is related to AS. Even after I started looking at my life through this lens... I hadn't thought of this as being part of my AS. My teachers always said I was hard of hearing but when I got tested I was fine. They were stumped and suggested it was allergies. Yeah no maybe it was the processing part, not the hearing part. That makes so much sense haha. Thanks for posting!
Almost sounds like I have the opposite on the speech end at times. The last incident at Home Depot, I was told where the item I wanted was to such precision that I wanted to let her know how well the picture she gave me was. At the moment I was going to tell her this, I realized I was about to stammer with no practice to smoothly state this. I just told her "thank you" while still holding my finger to my head. Ugh and LOL.
Singing is largely unintelligible to me. When I am out at Chinese buffet, they play Chinese pop music. I was finally able to explain to my loved ones what it's like for me even in English. The words of the song are just tones with random consonants. Funny though, I can sing professionally for four hours of one song after another and never miss a word of the lyrics once I have memorized them!
I finally got around to teaching myself Gregg Shorthand in my 30s. Difficult. It took three months to start working well. But made a ~huge~ difference. Lecture comprehension went from 3% to 99%. Wished I'd taught myself it back in High School.
I guess not everyone has this issue. I didn't mean to imply actual dyslexia. You are right about replaying the sound, and I can once I learn it, but it's the initial hearing speech that's the problem. I hear music in my mind very clearly and specific sounds, words, names as well. These things sound very clear, like a recorded tape.
Interesting you said you understand speech better through your right ear. I'm thinking I use my left ear more for it. Will have to pay attention for a few days and see. You also talked about being more of a visual learner and thinker. I've found that I don't actually process spoken language auditorially. For as long as I can remember, in my mind I "convert" verbal speech into written language in order to understand what is said. The words "scroll" past my visual field in a sort of ticker, and I read the words on the ticker in order to understand what was said. This is kind of a slow process (although I'm a very fast reader), but it also helps me remember what was said a whole lot better. I also have grapheme-color synesthesia, so the letters scrolling across on the ticker are in color. To remember what people said in a conversation, I look at the color patterns of the words spoken, see the words themselves, and then read back from the ticker. I do the same in order to speak. I "write" what I want to say onto the ticker, and then read off the ticker in order to speak out loud. Sometimes my speech is choppy doing this, because it's hard to write and read out loud at the same time. Every now and then, if I'm talking about something that has me totally engaged, I don't need this process and then my speech flows fluidly and rapidly, and sometimes even I'm surprised at the depth of insight on a topic that I'm able to communicate in those times.
do you have a hard time hearing people on the phone, or over a radio? i avoid phone calls like the plague; because i tend to miss the most important parts of what people say. i really like talking to extroverts because they talk so much, that they will follow up one statement with two more that are some how related to the first one. so if i didnt undersdand the first one; i can at least put two amd two together and figure it out.
I have this problem, it's pretty impactful, since i work as an operator at my work and i need to pick up on what people say the first time, so what i'v ended up having to do alot of the times is, repeating back what i'v heard to confirm it.
Yes, I believe my 9yr old son experiences this very same auditory processing problem - he has ASD, but he is constantly asking for verification of what has been said - he has had his hearing several times, but this seems to be more of a problem with making sense of sentences - I don't mind repeating or changing the sentence to make it easier for him, but I think it is harder for his teacher to understand why she needs to say things several times - I may talk to her about this! Thanks!
I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but I really relate to this guy. I remember when I was in elementary school, I would often saying "I don't know" quite often. I was told that was rude, so now I just pretend to understand, and hope that I figure out the question in time. Otherwise, I go, "sorry! what?". I still struggle hearing someone in loud environments, even though I actually have better than average hearing. It also is much more difficult to pick up works with strangers vs. a close family member
Well said. I can really relate to it. Thanks for the suggestions. And I also have a hard time when words are spelled out to me. I need to write the letters down to figure out the words.
Hello, I do the same thing. It is very difficult for me to look someone in the eye and listen to them at the same time; never mind intelligently respond.. When I started looking away as a kid/teen, sometimes down and to the side, I started getting feedback about "Listening" and “Respect”. So I practiced adding a 'Slight Nod', to 'let them know I'm listening'. Decades later and this still seems to 'keep the Normals at bay'.
Yes, sometimes I need things to be repeated a few times, it's quite embarrassing. Trying to understand people with accents is especially challenging, even when others around me seem to understand them just fine.
Me too. I get so distracted by things on their face, like their makeup, piercings, the way a woman tweezes her eyebrows, etc. If I have to try to look someone in the eye when they're talking to me, I'm going to remember a lot less of what they said. Once, after I rinsed out my ears with peroxide, my brother covered his mouth and whispered something from across the room, and I was able to tell him what he whispered. But talk right next to me in a noisy room and I'm lucky if I understand 2 words.
Just wanted to add a bit more to my other comment. I often feel that people think I don't know what I'm talking about because I have trouble forming the words to say what I want to say, sometimes I just can't find the words and when I do it's too late. Other times I can blurt out just the right words and surprise myself. I also feel that people don't take my opinions seriously and that I'm not worth trying to have a conversation with.
I have never been diagnosed but this resonates with me 100% . I have had numerous hearing test and my hearing is fine. I found thinking of the picture or looking at what the person is saying like a movie helps. This only works for me if I’m concentrating 100% though. If my concentration stops at any point then I don’t get it at all. I hate to ask the person to repeat more than once because they get frustrated and think I’m not paying attention. I never knew if was called something. I knew it was a glitch but didn’t know how to explain it without sounding stupid, which I know I’m not. I have proof on the contrary.
Thank you for this. I’m going through an adult diagnosis process and I am learning a lot about myself. (Female though, but similar experience and speech to you)
interesting. i dont really do it as much anymore but it's happened a lot, someone would say something to me, I'd hear it, i can't immediately process it so i'd ask them to repeat it, and then process it before they even get a chance to repeat it or they say the first sound and the rest would click. and i also have trouble processing speech when i'm looking at the person i'm talking to. like they might as well not be talking it just goes in and out. but if i'm looking away or at some inanimate object i can really take it in. and if i'm the one talking and i decide to look the person in the eyes, i instantly draw a blank and completely lose my train of though (all terrible habits for interviews). i didn't know it was a problem for other people too.
This describes me perfectly, although it's my left ear that I tilt to people talking to me. And I tend to stare at people's shoulder when talking to them rather than the floor I volunteer at a charity and usually answer the phones, I need to take their name and address and a lot of times it just doesn't click what they are saying and repeating never works. I learned that asking them to spell it works a charm, although sometimes their voice does get a confused tone as they end up spelling something like Smith or Green Street for me.
I guess we have a lot of the same sensory issues because this also sounds just like me as well. I've had a hard time finding anything referring to this, so it's nice to know it's not just me!
This is why I prefer people to leave a voicemail instead of talking directly. I miss a good chunk of what they say, except it's somehow there in my subconscious.
This is the most difficult part of my disability. I lose a huge part of what other people are saying most of the time. It’s way more difficult when it’s a new person, and unfamiliar situation, a loud environment, too much going on, I’ve got something else on my mind. Aside from that, I literally cannot force myself to stay focused, and I just totally drift off
I've had this problem very frequently and never heard of anyone else having it. I never asked others about it. I guess what they say because I have felt like asking can be rude. My speech can be muttered and muffled sometimes, so I often got embarrassed by being misunderstood all the time.
Many with AS actually test positive for hearing difficulties, but it's often the case that the difficulties are in processing rather than "raw" hearing ability. I went for two hearing tests when I was younger. Both tests were tone tests so they didn't see a problem (I tested higher than average!). Speech processing proved to be more difficult, this might probably be the case with you as well.
This happens to me a lot as well. I assumed this happens to everyone (which usually is the opposite of me assuming I'm the only one with such issue). Many times, I just fake like I understood. But how can anyone understand sounds exiting a humans mouth with such loud competing music or environmental sounds?!?!? In a quiet environment, I hear everything, but since I'm a sound processor, loud /”distracting” sounds compete 500% against a person’s voice. I also never ever pick up lyrics to songs. Ppl might as well sing in Chinese. The only lyrics I can catch is country music and some show tunes. However, I can recognize a song just by the first 2 or 3 bars or chords of a song. Lastly, staring into someone’s eyes is EXTREMELY DISTRACTING to my brain and thinking ever!! The harder I need to concentrate, the more I need to stare against a non distracting blank wall and rock. And the more I need to concentrate, the harder I need to rock. Swinging and rocking is very soothing and helps me relax and concentrate WAAAAAYYYY MORE than being still like a statue, which is more like torture m EXTREMELY DISTRACTING!!
I experience this as well. I often run into situations where someone is talking to me and it is clear that I am familiar with the words but I can't make sense of them. Sometimes if they repeat just a few words I am able to connect the dots. Sometimes I get it after a few repetitions. Sometimes I don't get it at all and it doesn't become clear no matter how many times its repeated. I also experience something similar with reading sometimes which worsens with stress. Its very frusterating.
I've taken up the horrible habit of just nodding and pretending I understood what a person said after the second time. After asking the person to repeat themselves for the third time, they start to notice or get irritated. I usually make exceptions for cases when I cannot comprehend something in the middle of an important conversation, or if it is my boss/professor.
Eating 1 amount if patassium a day such as a banana helps with motor skills, but only 1 a day, no more than 1 a day everyday, i have autism and my roomate has asspergers and eating 1 banana a day helped us be more relaxed
I believe you are right about the music. I almost can't take it seriously I garble up the lyrics. I thought the lyrics in bon jovi's song "living on a prayer" was "living on a bridge". The line right after that is "take my hand we'll make it swear" -- I thought this was referring to the dangers that might generally be experienced by those who choose to live on bridges. My roommates told me about my error. Go figure :p
In other situations, like for example a career night assembly thing we had to go to for college, students were asking the people on stage questions. I was 10 feet away from the students asking the questions, and the person on stage 40 feet or so. I couldn't understand what the students were asking most of the time, but the people on stage understood perfectly. I was like WTF!? I know my ears aren't clogged with wax. As you say, I only pick up little bits and pieces.
Either that, or when I look someone in the eyes, everything in the periphery of my vision starts to go dark, and everything in the middle of my vision gets brighter and sharper, and I get so distracted by it that I have no idea what the person just said. Sometimes my hearing fades out, too.
Yeah it's like I can "see" the "shape" of the sentence sounds (only in auditory format) as they enter my brain but can't make out the words until I try to let in sink in or something
I went on a hike today, and didn't realize how much difficulty I have interpreting what people are saying, compared to others. I was constantly asking my friend to repeat what he said, in addition to strangers passing by who would say a few words. I'd try to fill in the blanks and end up completely messing up what the person was saying. It really started to bother me towards the end of the day.
Again, really similar to my own experience -- except for me, it's the left ear that perceives speech better. I have had to transition to working in an extremely noisy environment, so this has become a major issue for me. One other thing -- I also have something similar but with recognizing people. I'm often not sure if I've recognized someone correctly, so there is a delay in my response to their greeting. I get that sense of needing additional info to verify their identity.
To concentrate on what someone is saying I have to turn my ear to their mouth and look down or away from them too. However, no one has ever brought that up to me. Maybe because I’m quiet so people just think I’m shy to justify my no eye contact
Wait I have questions on my self now 🤔 In my meeting I often find my self asking ppl to repeat the question (in a different format) or I am able to concentrate on what was said if I am looking at my laptop typing rather then looking at the person
Regarding "I'm not sure who the culprit is for this auditory problem, AS or my ADHD?" My 2 cents: Neither. They are both Conceptual Abstractions (i.e. Syndromes), which box you put a specific symptom in is a further Abstraction - an attempt to explain Reality. Boils down to "You" (not meaning to pick on..) experience *Blank*, and how *that* affect you and those around you...
I don't have aspergers but I have this auditory processing disorder which I also called auditory dyslexia until I found out what it was actually called. The worst is when you ask someone to repeat themselves but they say the same thing just in a different way and you don't understand that either. :/
brokenharbour I was classed as disabled learning when I was a kid and have struggled with Dyslexia, looking at words knowing what they are but they dont make sense, what you explained with intake verbally, its now affecting me at work to the point where my blood pressure is always high because I also have trouble speaking too and unable to connect sentences, I thought it suppose get better and never worse? every shift I work now brings me to the edge and I just cant control it. did you ever come across any quick fixes? I tilt my ear and look away when someone speaking to me too, but I thought that was just me, really not coping any more and no matter what doctor I see for some sort of treatment they almost prescribe me anti-biotics lol
I have difficulty understanding my teacher often and i am forgetful. I find it frustrating asking my teacher to repeat often. I réally learn better by doing. And when i understand why. When i dont understand why it is more difficult for me to remember.
I am the same way treble out one and bass out the other ear but lost some my hearing out the one for treble in a accident. that made hering people even worse than it already was. It seem you also have a issue with keeping a constant speed and thought to keep from stuttering
I have the exact same thing with my ears, except I can hear better out of my left ear. When I'm on the phone, I have to put it to my left ear in order to be able to understand. It's not that I can't hear as well out of my right ear, I can. I just don't understand as well when I have the phone to my right ear. It's almost like a bad phone connection when I try to listen with my right ear. The same when someone talks to me in my right ear. Between the two of us, we have one good pair of ears. lol
i so get u ive the same shit and if im not instrested in what they say its worse i kinda feel like like a nodding dog alot i pretend i get them cant wait 2 escape the situation makes me on edge
I was also originally diagnosed with ADD (I was 11) and this could have been a factor in why they diagnosed me with it. I still do have the diagnosis and it's not entirely unreasonable that I was diagnosed in the first place...the organizational issues are still there, though I'm not on amphetamines anymore though. I'm not sure who the culprit is for this auditory problem, AS or my ADHD? From what I've read it's likely the former. Thanks for the interesting observation.
This got really bad for me in my later 20s (the last few years), and at one point I had to start using subtitles with movies :( In a classroom setting I can't follow instructions unless I read it on paper :/
I was diagnosed as dyslexia when i was in highschool and i have had severe troubles understanding instructions i got a job at Arbys and they said they can work with me on the dyslexia "because its a reading difficulties." So he says and i knew it wasn't only reading i can read i have had trouble with some mispellings and reading sentences twice. However i lnow there had to be something different i am a visual learner i right things down and he got mad i did that rather than matching up the numbers on the receipt to match up counting the $. He was kinda rude. Also i have trouble spitting something out
This happens to me as well. Often, however, I say "what?", but then it "clicks" before they even get the chance to repeat it.
VisserZer0 same
For me is the same, i feel like it is a delay. I hear it, there is a processing time and then i understand the whole sentence.
Sometimes I replay the sound bite in my head and then process it. Sometimes I will look at them and nodd without knowing what they said.
Me exactly! It's so frustrating at times and time consuming!
Lindz1spec - I do this too
I can relate 100%. I felt like you were talking about my problems all the time.
Always when someone random calls me on the phone, I can't really figure out who's behind the line, even after they tell it to me at the start of the call. I have tried to learn listening very carefully but still almost always I miss it. I let them say what they were about to say and then ask, "sorry, who was this again?"
Same problem in school lectures, I never understand what the teacher is trying to explain, I just can't make those words meaningful in my mind. Only way I could learn is to DO something instead... I get tired easily when I am supposed to listen and listen, so I end up closing my eyes. This can help understanding to some extent, but i'm afraid people think I am just tired and not listening at all.
If someone gives me instructions to anything, I always have the urge to ask them to repeat, to make sure I understand. The truth is, I never understood it on the first hearing, I just need to hear it once more. This has been a huge problem for me for quite long and I think I have finaöy found the answer for this, among all the other asperger problems you also have!
Yes, I very much feel the same way. I learn better from reading or watching than I do listening to someone.
This is a slightly more severe form of what I experience, but it's almost eerie how similiar your description is.
I'm actually very good at making eye contact, as long as I'm not the one talking. When I'm speaking, I have to look off as I'm thinking how to express myself. But every now and then, especially when I'm tired, my brain completely skips the first half of what someone is saying. I also do 10x better when given written instructions, as I'm too focused trying to process what people are telling me to do to be able to remember it, as well.
Thank you for speaking about this. The few people I've talked about my suspicion of having aspergers tend to "poo poo" it, as I'm very good at disguising my symptoms. Also, females tend to be more mildly affected.
Also, your description about an auditory overload is spot on. This speech dyslexia flares up the most when I'm tired or in a crowded room. I can hear what the person is saying perfectly, but my brain is overloaded and just doesn't process the meaning of it.
I'm curious, does this also extend to movies for you like it does me? When I'm watching movies by myself, I almost prefer subtitles. I read fast enough that it doesn't affect trying to actually watch the movie, and I pick up so much more dialogue that way.
Sometimes I feel dumb since I cant pick up what other people are saying. Is everyone else like this, or is it just me
I feel the same way.
r u kidding me i can understand only concrete language i have 0 reasoning skills
My friend, you're not alone. Same thing happens to me
I tend to hear a lot better in my left ear. Meanwhile, people sound like adults from Charlie Brown when I try to listen through my right ear
Omg! I didn't know other people dealt with this problem! I have aspergers and I just thought I couldn't focus.
I realized that I couldn't process people's words while looking at them at some point too. I think it's noticeable that I strain when listening to people, and if they talk too fast or give me too many instructions at a rapid pace I have to make them slow it down, let me write things down as they tell me (and sometimes I comprehend the depth of what they said once I've seen it written on paper) or just hope and pray my brain collected it all and try my best
Fantastic video! I was searching for evidence that those with Aspergers speak with clear enunciation and perhaps an "accent" not shared with their family or geographic region. I've had people ask if I was British, teachers tell me to "stop talking in an accent", etc. I'm not sure if this is something you can relate to, but the "auditory dyslexia" is spot-on, including the reflexive "What?" while I'm still processing the meaning behind the jumbled syllables.
It really helps me to affirm what the other person is saying while they're explaining something to me. Let's say a teacher is telling me to go to a certain room and pick up a certain book, I will say "Okay, I'll go to room A233." then when they say which book I'll repeat the title back to them, for example I might say "Oh, you want a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. Okay." It's the only thing that helps me remember. Then after I'm done talking to them I'll repeat the directions over and over. Even then I usually need some clarification but being an active listener really helps. But if the person insists on making eye contact I really can't process what they're saying, especially if it's directions of any kind. Also I've found that whenever I ask someone a question, unless I remind myself to I usually don't listen to or process the answer. Auditory dyslexia is a great way to put this phenomenon.
Wonderful description of life with APD and ASD of the Asperger's Type. Thank you for sharing.
This is very interesting. Thank you so much for this video. It explains 40 years of my father's behaviour that I had misunderstood.
Thanks - and I really really mean that. You've managed to articulate something I've had real problems with for nearly 70 years! A lot of the comments are reassuring too, including in the 'it's not just me' sense.
I can relate to this. My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome, I have it too, just not so much. Great video. Wish more people understood. You have genius intelligence, no need to apologize for that. Just be the brilliant person that you are. People should be more wise and more informed. You are doing great! Just stay positive and look for the positive side of things. It makes life so much easier. And what other people think of you is none of your business, it's their business and their problem. I pray you see yourself through God's eyes, you were made for a purpose, a great purpose.
I get this too, sometimes it's like people are speaking a foreign language. As you said, you know the words that are being said but you can't make out what is being meant by what they're saying. I get this even with people I'm more familiar with. I also get problems trying to put my thoughts into words and communicating verbally in general can be really difficult. It's very frustrating, I'm very socially awkward and introverted as a result.
Yes, I really have to fight with this as well. I got asked to be President of my local gun club, it's been a real reach to do public speaking and not shut down if I get stuck. Thankfully it's become easier with time but I still don't really enjoy it but figure it's good for me. Thankfully I have a very practical way of getting things done and can clearly see things in my head, even though I feel like I'm translating everything from another language.
Great Video. From one Dyslexic to another, I am going to suggest that you have a hearing test to find out if there is indeed a difference in your right side hearing as to your left, more than likely there isn't. Although you are saying you have a hearing problem more than likely you may be experiencing an eye to eye shyness problem. Being overly Shy is not all that uncommon. Also, shyness is not all that difficult to eliminate from one’s personally traits. Take your time and start looking in a mirror at yourself with a stopwatch in hand. Time yourself until you feel that you must look away. Try to increase your-face-time to yourself every time you do this exercise. ..After you accomplish looking in the mirror without a problem, then do the same thing and time yourself as you film yourself. Look directly into the camera lens until that reluctance has passed also. By the way Auditory Dyslexia has nothing to do with one's ability to hear. Good Luck, FR
I love your videos; you articulate yourself very clearly and have such interesting things to say.
You described me so perfectly... For me it's "Pardon?". For years I've wanted to do a write-up of what it is like for me. You touched on so many different pieces, and there was not one thing you said that didn't apply to me.
I have the same problem, and a similar solution. I cup my right ear, as that is the one that I seem to need to make speech clearer. Especially in noisy cafés etc. I also try to lip read as well. This is also why I don’t like meetings and parties. I cannot concentrate on one person, my mind goes from conversation to conversation and then I keep on tuning in and out, so the other person thinks I am rude. It is just I am being distracted.
Music is important to me, I have an very good ear, but I hear more than most people, so what happens is there is too much sensory information. This I think is the same as what you have. I have carefully listened to your examples and videos of music and see a great similarity.
For me it is sorry? Sorry, I didn’t get that and it happens all the time. If the speaker does not separate their words, it makes this worse.
This was really interesting. I've never heard anyone else describe the exact auditory processing issues I have before. I've found that if what the person has said to me isn't too long I don't need them to repeat it. I can hold on to and repeat their words in my head over and over until I can extract the meaning, but sometimes it takes a while. It feels like that pathway in my brain has shut off and I have to wait for it to turn back on if that makes sense.
I really appreciate your videos and I hope you continue to make them. I've found all of them fascinating, and I find a lot of similarities between you and myself, even though I don't have Asperger's syndrome or any form of autism. I do have social anxiety disorder, and as a result am introverted, which contributes to the similarities in the way we think and perceive things.
My right ear is more sensitive than the left. I believe I am more of a visual learner.
I love how you are so open
Thank you for sharing this information. I think you are very good at explaining what your experiences are, which helps me understand myself and my husband much better. You are educating me, and I am grateful for that.
like when someone talks down to you when they think you cant hear them, tell them not to do that. you can train the human apes around you. its not there fault there intelligence isn't on par to your situation awareness
I have both ASD and central auditory pressing disorder (CAPD) which seems to be your problem too. The hearing in both my ears is fine but my brain is not. One of the new solutions for this that many doctors are hesitant to try is being fitted with hearing aids (they improve the smaller sounds of speech so recognition occurs quicker and also have setting that block out back ground noise brings forward the sound that you are looking at) Since being fitting i would not give my hearing aids up for the world i can now hear in noisy envioments before i was practically deaf, my word processing is much faster so i don't sound so "slow" because there is a less of a delay in response time and mentally iam not as fatigued trying to hear people i last longer in conversations now look up the book when the brain can't hear its very insightful
I had that problem all of the time. My mother would think I was ignoring her or not listening and hit me. She knew I had been born 4 weeks premature and later ignored repeated requests from the Children's hospital to bring me in for to be assessed for autism. She said sometimes I could mimic songs or what people were saying. She knew I was different. I still have these problems now at times, but the autism diagnosis has made it easier to understand why I had so many problems at school and from my siblings and mother in childhood and into adulthood.
THANK YOU. I was only diagnosed with Asperger's in the last month - I thought I was going crazy. I used to overhear people ask "is that girl deaf?" often at work - which is pretty funny, because I could easily decipher what was being said ABOUT me - just not what was spoken TO me, especially if I was trying to maintain eye contact, which causes me to almost go into a zoned-out trance state where I remember nothing informational about the interaction.
Have all of these issues. Was working in a cafe for the past year. Was so loud and I had to cock my right ear close to everyone who came in. Found that, on reflection, I was often not staring at them when I was listening. Also, based on your last video about authority figures, really struggled especially to look my manager in the eye. He really scared me to be honest even though he was genuinely a nice person. He would sometimes get mad that I couldn't remember all the orders as they came through, but I was honestly listening the best I could. When I had registered and categorised all the drink options in my auditory memory and on the till system, this all became a lot easier. It took me a while though. Damn I hated doing that job, so stressful!
Recently self-diagnosed with AS or ASD.
Wow, yet another one of those AHA moments where I am laughing at the fact that this is related to AS. Even after I started looking at my life through this lens... I hadn't thought of this as being part of my AS.
My teachers always said I was hard of hearing but when I got tested I was fine. They were stumped and suggested it was allergies. Yeah no maybe it was the processing part, not the hearing part. That makes so much sense haha.
Thanks for posting!
Almost sounds like I have the opposite on the speech end at times. The
last incident at Home Depot, I was told where the item I wanted was to
such precision that I wanted to let her know how well the picture she
gave me was. At the moment I was going to tell her this, I realized I
was about to stammer with no practice to smoothly state this. I just
told her "thank you" while still holding my finger to my head. Ugh and
LOL.
You've described my whole life perfectly in this aspect.
Excellent video, thanks
Singing is largely unintelligible to me. When I am out at Chinese buffet, they play Chinese pop music. I was finally able to explain to my loved ones what it's like for me even in English. The words of the song are just tones with random consonants.
Funny though, I can sing professionally for four hours of one song after another and never miss a word of the lyrics once I have memorized them!
Wow! This describes me so well. I may have to get a diagnosis.
Yes, the slight nod is a must!
I finally got around to teaching myself Gregg Shorthand in my 30s. Difficult. It took three months to start working well. But made a ~huge~ difference. Lecture comprehension went from 3% to 99%. Wished I'd taught myself it back in High School.
I guess not everyone has this issue. I didn't mean to imply actual dyslexia. You are right about replaying the sound, and I can once I learn it, but it's the initial hearing speech that's the problem. I hear music in my mind very clearly and specific sounds, words, names as well. These things sound very clear, like a recorded tape.
Interesting you said you understand speech better through your right ear. I'm thinking I use my left ear more for it. Will have to pay attention for a few days and see.
You also talked about being more of a visual learner and thinker. I've found that I don't actually process spoken language auditorially. For as long as I can remember, in my mind I "convert" verbal speech into written language in order to understand what is said. The words "scroll" past my visual field in a sort of ticker, and I read the words on the ticker in order to understand what was said. This is kind of a slow process (although I'm a very fast reader), but it also helps me remember what was said a whole lot better.
I also have grapheme-color synesthesia, so the letters scrolling across on the ticker are in color. To remember what people said in a conversation, I look at the color patterns of the words spoken, see the words themselves, and then read back from the ticker.
I do the same in order to speak. I "write" what I want to say onto the ticker, and then read off the ticker in order to speak out loud. Sometimes my speech is choppy doing this, because it's hard to write and read out loud at the same time. Every now and then, if I'm talking about something that has me totally engaged, I don't need this process and then my speech flows fluidly and rapidly, and sometimes even I'm surprised at the depth of insight on a topic that I'm able to communicate in those times.
do you have a hard time hearing people on the phone, or over a radio? i avoid phone calls like the plague; because i tend to miss the most important parts of what people say. i really like talking to extroverts because they talk so much, that they will follow up one statement with two more that are some how related to the first one. so if i didnt undersdand the first one; i can at least put two amd two together and figure it out.
I struggle to hear through a phone, especially at work. At time I recall what the customer said just to clarify and meet the customer's satisfaction.
@@yaggayaggaya9918 Same!
I go through the same problem i also enjoy talking to extroverts as well i learn a lot from them and i prefer texting over phone calls
Wow, glad you could relate!
Dude, thank you. This is great information. I've been trying to help my girlfriend with this problem, and it can be really frustrating.
I have this problem, it's pretty impactful, since i work as an operator at my work and i need to pick up on what people say the first time, so what i'v ended up having to do alot of the times is, repeating back what i'v heard to confirm it.
Yes, I believe my 9yr old son experiences this very same auditory processing problem - he has ASD, but he is constantly asking for verification of what has been said - he has had his hearing several times, but this seems to be more of a problem with making sense of sentences - I don't mind repeating or changing the sentence to make it easier for him, but I think it is harder for his teacher to understand why she needs to say things several times - I may talk to her about this! Thanks!
I think this is what seals the deal for my potential aspergers. I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist.
People get angry at me because of this. I say "what's that" And they get upset as they have to repeat themselves.
I have never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but I really relate to this guy. I remember when I was in elementary school, I would often saying "I don't know" quite often. I was told that was rude, so now I just pretend to understand, and hope that I figure out the question in time. Otherwise, I go, "sorry! what?". I still struggle hearing someone in loud environments, even though I actually have better than average hearing. It also is much more difficult to pick up works with strangers vs. a close family member
I was told that it is auditory processing disorder.
Well said. I can really relate to it. Thanks for the suggestions. And I also have a hard time when words are spelled out to me. I need to write the letters down to figure out the words.
Hello,
I do the same thing. It is very difficult for me to look someone in the eye and listen to them at the same time; never mind intelligently respond.. When I started looking away as a kid/teen, sometimes down and to the side, I started getting feedback about "Listening" and “Respect”.
So I practiced adding a 'Slight Nod', to 'let them know I'm listening'. Decades later and this still seems to 'keep the Normals at bay'.
Yes, sometimes I need things to be repeated a few times, it's quite embarrassing. Trying to understand people with accents is especially challenging, even when others around me seem to understand them just fine.
Me too. I get so distracted by things on their face, like their makeup, piercings, the way a woman tweezes her eyebrows, etc. If I have to try to look someone in the eye when they're talking to me, I'm going to remember a lot less of what they said.
Once, after I rinsed out my ears with peroxide, my brother covered his mouth and whispered something from across the room, and I was able to tell him what he whispered. But talk right next to me in a noisy room and I'm lucky if I understand 2 words.
Just wanted to add a bit more to my other comment. I often feel that people think I don't know what I'm talking about because I have trouble forming the words to say what I want to say, sometimes I just can't find the words and when I do it's too late. Other times I can blurt out just the right words and surprise myself. I also feel that people don't take my opinions seriously and that I'm not worth trying to have a conversation with.
I have never been diagnosed but this resonates with me 100% . I have had numerous hearing test and my hearing is fine. I found thinking of the picture or looking at what the person is saying like a movie helps. This only works for me if I’m concentrating 100% though. If my concentration stops at any point then I don’t get it at all. I hate to ask the person to repeat more than once because they get frustrated and think I’m not paying attention. I never knew if was called something. I knew it was a glitch but didn’t know how to explain it without sounding stupid, which I know I’m not. I have proof on the contrary.
Thank you for this. I’m going through an adult diagnosis process and I am learning a lot about myself. (Female though, but similar experience and speech to you)
interesting. i dont really do it as much anymore but it's happened a lot, someone would say something to me, I'd hear it, i can't immediately process it so i'd ask them to repeat it, and then process it before they even get a chance to repeat it or they say the first sound and the rest would click. and i also have trouble processing speech when i'm looking at the person i'm talking to. like they might as well not be talking it just goes in and out. but if i'm looking away or at some inanimate object i can really take it in. and if i'm the one talking and i decide to look the person in the eyes, i instantly draw a blank and completely lose my train of though (all terrible habits for interviews). i didn't know it was a problem for other people too.
This describes me perfectly, although it's my left ear that I tilt to people talking to me. And I tend to stare at people's shoulder when talking to them rather than the floor
I volunteer at a charity and usually answer the phones, I need to take their name and address and a lot of times it just doesn't click what they are saying and repeating never works. I learned that asking them to spell it works a charm, although sometimes their voice does get a confused tone as they end up spelling something like Smith or Green Street for me.
It's even worse when u have derealization
I guess we have a lot of the same sensory issues because this also sounds just like me as well. I've had a hard time finding anything referring to this, so it's nice to know it's not just me!
This is why I prefer people to leave a voicemail instead of talking directly. I miss a good chunk of what they say, except it's somehow there in my subconscious.
This is the most difficult part of my disability. I lose a huge part of what other people are saying most of the time. It’s way more difficult when it’s a new person, and unfamiliar situation, a loud environment, too much going on, I’ve got something else on my mind. Aside from that, I literally cannot force myself to stay focused, and I just totally drift off
Have you ever been listening to music and you pick up on the words, and then you can hear the beat?
Yessssssssssssssss! One of the reasons why I love listening to music! 😎
And the harder you try to proses what they are telling you the worse it gets. It is very frustrating.
People get really annoyed sometimes when I ask to repeat themselves. It makes me feel bad.
I've had this problem very frequently and never heard of anyone else having it. I never asked others about it. I guess what they say because I have felt like asking can be rude. My speech can be muttered and muffled sometimes, so I often got embarrassed by being misunderstood all the time.
Many with AS actually test positive for hearing difficulties, but it's often the case that the difficulties are in processing rather than "raw" hearing ability. I went for two hearing tests when I was younger. Both tests were tone tests so they didn't see a problem (I tested higher than average!). Speech processing proved to be more difficult, this might probably be the case with you as well.
This happens to me a lot as well. I assumed this happens to everyone (which usually is the opposite of me assuming I'm the only one with such issue). Many times, I just fake like I understood. But how can anyone understand sounds exiting a humans mouth with such loud competing music or environmental sounds?!?!?
In a quiet environment, I hear everything, but since I'm a sound processor, loud /”distracting” sounds compete 500% against a person’s voice.
I also never ever pick up lyrics to songs. Ppl might as well sing in Chinese.
The only lyrics I can catch is country music and some show tunes. However, I can recognize a song just by the first 2 or 3 bars or chords of a song.
Lastly, staring into someone’s eyes is EXTREMELY DISTRACTING to my brain and thinking ever!! The harder I need to concentrate, the more I need to stare against a non distracting blank wall and rock. And the more I need to concentrate, the harder I need to rock.
Swinging and rocking is very soothing and helps me relax and concentrate WAAAAAYYYY MORE than being still like a statue, which is more like torture m EXTREMELY DISTRACTING!!
I experience this as well. I often run into situations where someone is talking to me and it is clear that I am familiar with the words but I can't make sense of them. Sometimes if they repeat just a few words I am able to connect the dots. Sometimes I get it after a few repetitions. Sometimes I don't get it at all and it doesn't become clear no matter how many times its repeated. I also experience something similar with reading sometimes which worsens with stress. Its very frusterating.
When my boss gives me instruction I wait till we part and THEN I text him asking to repeat what "I forgot".. that way I have it written down lol
I've taken up the horrible habit of just nodding and pretending I understood what a person said after the second time. After asking the person to repeat themselves for the third time, they start to notice or get irritated. I usually make exceptions for cases when I cannot comprehend something in the middle of an important conversation, or if it is my boss/professor.
Eating 1 amount if patassium a day such as a banana helps with motor skills, but only 1 a day, no more than 1 a day everyday, i have autism and my roomate has asspergers and eating 1 banana a day helped us be more relaxed
I sometimes just blackout if someone talks to me, mostly i just react with"yea" and a smile
im dyslexic and i can relate to the not being able to understand speech well but much more mildly :)
Auditory Processing Disorder
I believe you are right about the music. I almost can't take it seriously I garble up the lyrics. I thought the lyrics in bon jovi's song "living on a prayer" was "living on a bridge". The line right after that is "take my hand we'll make it swear" -- I thought this was referring to the dangers that might generally be experienced by those who choose to live on bridges. My roommates told me about my error. Go figure :p
In other situations, like for example a career night assembly thing we had to go to for college, students were asking the people on stage questions. I was 10 feet away from the students asking the questions, and the person on stage 40 feet or so. I couldn't understand what the students were asking most of the time, but the people on stage understood perfectly. I was like WTF!? I know my ears aren't clogged with wax. As you say, I only pick up little bits and pieces.
Great how you can break this down to explain it...thank you! Cute too :)
Either that, or when I look someone in the eyes, everything in the periphery of my vision starts to go dark, and everything in the middle of my vision gets brighter and sharper, and I get so distracted by it that I have no idea what the person just said. Sometimes my hearing fades out, too.
Yeah it's like I can "see" the "shape" of the sentence sounds (only in auditory format) as they enter my brain but can't make out the words until I try to let in sink in or something
What remedies do you recommend? Anything online by way of say neurotraining or neurofeedback or brain games etc?
I went on a hike today, and didn't realize how much difficulty I have interpreting what people are saying, compared to others. I was constantly asking my friend to repeat what he said, in addition to strangers passing by who would say a few words. I'd try to fill in the blanks and end up completely messing up what the person was saying. It really started to bother me towards the end of the day.
Again, really similar to my own experience -- except for me, it's the left ear that perceives speech better. I have had to transition to working in an extremely noisy environment, so this has become a major issue for me. One other thing -- I also have something similar but with recognizing people. I'm often not sure if I've recognized someone correctly, so there is a delay in my response to their greeting. I get that sense of needing additional info to verify their identity.
Damnit this happens to me. When I don't know someone, I ask them to repeat it and then I realize I heard them the first time.
For me it's even worse cuz I have some minor speech disorders and people often ask me to repeat something for them.
To concentrate on what someone is saying I have to turn my ear to their mouth and look down or away from them too. However, no one has ever brought that up to me. Maybe because I’m quiet so people just think I’m shy to justify my no eye contact
Davis Approach will help this. You need auditory orientation.
Wait I have questions on my self now 🤔
In my meeting I often find my self asking ppl to repeat the question (in a different format) or I am able to concentrate on what was said if I am looking at my laptop typing rather then looking at the person
can you do a video on how you feel about the opposite sex? and intimate relationships? I think it would be interesting to hear your opinion.
Regarding "I'm not sure who the culprit is for this auditory problem, AS or my ADHD?"
My 2 cents: Neither. They are both Conceptual Abstractions (i.e. Syndromes), which box you put a specific symptom in is a further Abstraction - an attempt to explain Reality.
Boils down to "You" (not meaning to pick on..) experience *Blank*, and how *that* affect you and those around you...
I don't have aspergers but I have this auditory processing disorder which I also called auditory dyslexia until I found out what it was actually called. The worst is when you ask someone to repeat themselves but they say the same thing just in a different way and you don't understand that either. :/
brokenharbour I was classed as disabled learning when I was a kid and have struggled with Dyslexia, looking at words knowing what they are but they dont make sense, what you explained with intake verbally, its now affecting me at work to the point where my blood pressure is always high because I also have trouble speaking too and unable to connect sentences, I thought it suppose get better and never worse? every shift I work now brings me to the edge and I just cant control it. did you ever come across any quick fixes? I tilt my ear and look away when someone speaking to me too, but I thought that was just me, really not coping any more and no matter what doctor I see for some sort of treatment they almost prescribe me anti-biotics lol
This is not anxiety.....I have the same exact problem......severe dyslexia. Auditory and verbal dyslexia is a real problem.
I have difficulty understanding my teacher often and i am forgetful. I find it frustrating asking my teacher to repeat often. I réally learn better by doing. And when i understand why. When i dont understand why it is more difficult for me to remember.
I am the same way treble out one and bass out the other ear but lost some my hearing out the one for treble in a accident. that made hering people even worse than it already was. It seem you also have a issue with keeping a constant speed and thought to keep from stuttering
I have the exact same thing with my ears, except I can hear better out of my left ear. When I'm on the phone, I have to put it to my left ear in order to be able to understand. It's not that I can't hear as well out of my right ear, I can. I just don't understand as well when I have the phone to my right ear. It's almost like a bad phone connection when I try to listen with my right ear. The same when someone talks to me in my right ear.
Between the two of us, we have one good pair of ears. lol
i so get u ive the same shit and if im not instrested in what they say its worse i kinda feel like like a nodding dog alot i pretend i get them cant wait 2 escape the situation makes me on edge
some one close to me has this overlap. He has tinnitus now. A ringing in his ears. Do others have this too?
I was also originally diagnosed with ADD (I was 11) and this could have been a factor in why they diagnosed me with it. I still do have the diagnosis and it's not entirely unreasonable that I was diagnosed in the first place...the organizational issues are still there, though I'm not on amphetamines anymore though. I'm not sure who the culprit is for this auditory problem, AS or my ADHD? From what I've read it's likely the former. Thanks for the interesting observation.
This got really bad for me in my later 20s (the last few years), and at one point I had to start using subtitles with movies :( In a classroom setting I can't follow instructions unless I read it on paper :/
I was diagnosed as dyslexia when i was in highschool and i have had severe troubles understanding instructions i got a job at Arbys and they said they can work with me on the dyslexia "because its a reading difficulties." So he says and i knew it wasn't only reading i can read i have had trouble with some mispellings and reading sentences twice. However i lnow there had to be something different i am a visual learner i right things down and he got mad i did that rather than matching up the numbers on the receipt to match up counting the $. He was kinda rude. Also i have trouble spitting something out
I have that issue sometimes but I am not on the spectrum.