The Decemberists - Once In My Life
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2018
- Statement from Colin Meloy:
We were searching for a video idea for “Once In My Life” that would somehow capture the spirit of the song. In my mind, the song is a meditation, a plea to the cosmos that I imagine everyone, at some point or another, has made. We asked our old friend and collaborator Autumn de Wilde to pitch an idea and she came to us with a simple but powerful story: a depiction of her brother Jacob, a man who has lived with physical and intellectual differences his entire life, dancing in the streets of Los Angeles. The song, in this light, becomes more than just a “celebration of sadness,” (which I have sometimes called it) but suddenly a longing holler to the universe against one’s perceived otherness.
This idea is particularly close to me as I’ve witnessed how the world sees my son Hank, who is autistic. When I’m out in public with Hank, I’m acutely aware of the world’s attachment to social and behavioral norms; in these situations, Hank’s otherness can suddenly be put in stark relief. Through the lens of Jacob’s joyful and defiant movement in Autumn’s video, we see a man shrugging off the constraints of an unaccommodating and judgmental world and truly reveling in his body and mind.
Statement from Autumn de Wilde:
My brother Jacob is 7’2”.
His feet are size 22.
He has Auditory Processing Disorder.
He likes to dress up as Chewbacca.
He is not a basketball player.
This video is my love letter to him.
My mother said to me recently when we were talking about the way the people tend to react to Jacob, someone who looks and sounds extraordinarily different from their opinion of what normal is: “When we see someone new or different, we have to stop thinking about ourselves for a moment in order to really experience them. As humans, we tend to want to put our fingerprints all over other people.”
The Decemberists’ song “Once In My Life” is the song I needed when I was young.... when I felt stared at, mocked or unseen for my heart and mind. Jacob also had an immediate emotional reaction to the song when I played it for him the first time. I had been wanting to explore a creative collaboration with my brother for a while, and this was the perfect song.
I have a very strong connection to Hank Meloy, Colin Meloy and Carson Ellis' son, who is autistic. He has very much inspired my mind and imagination as an artist and a thinker. Although Jacob and Hank's bodies and diagnosis are very different, Jacob, Hank and all of us who look different, sound different, or think different have a connection in our experience of otherness. There are many of us who feel sometimes like we live in a sort of dollhouse for the wrong doll but our perspective can shift dramatically when we realize, in fact, that our difference has simply redefined the space we are in. My brother is in his 40's and his long journey to achieve the comfort and understanding in how he moves, communicates and connects to others is inspiring to me. Self-love and acceptance are the real superpowers waiting for all of us.
Everyone featured in the video and working on the crew is a friend who gave 100% to this project. I wanted Jacob to be surrounded by friends who were committed to helping him tell this story, but also create a safe space for Jacob, which changed our pace and usual process for filmmaking. It was thrilling as a director and a sister to challenge Jacob and myself. I am honored to have put the spotlight on him, watched my brother flourish as an artistic human onscreen and show us how gorgeous different is.
Directed by Autumn de Wilde (autumndewilde.com)
Music video by The Decemberists performing Once In My Life. © 2018 Capitol Records, LLC
vevo.ly/J1jpzr 
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Manifest brought me here!! 😁 I’m only on episode 2 but such a great show already!! 👍🏼
Same here bro..that song caught my attention
OMG same here 😆❤
Facts
Word🤙🏾
Haha me to. Watched the whole 3 seasons in about a week. Hope it doesn’t remain canceled.
Oooof. As a disabled person, I've never seen myself so well represented in a music video before. My disabilities may not be the same as Jacob's, but that fear of ostracism and hatred is universal for us. This song will forever be more powerful to me.
I also understand that.
Never give up! Don't ever give up!!
My exact reaction as well. I wish I could dance with Jacob. I wish I could hug him, if he wanted that. For now, I'm crying and crying and dancing a little alone in my apartment.
You 4 are awesome. Even though you commented ages ago. I feel so good from watching this video. Just wanted you to know
yep
Self-love and acceptance are the real superpowers waiting for all of us.
This is my first ever RUclips comment. My son is almost five years old. He loves the Decemberists most of all. His best friend has autism. We watched the video together and talked about differences. This is a very powerful video and it inspired a very important conversation.
I have a child with autism. Thanks for trying to raise a kid who might help the world be a better place for folks with disabilities.
I'm autistic. We think think just as well as you do, but not _like_ you do.
Autistics are the future.
Sweetheart I'm near 60 and I don't understand how this is not life changing. Love you because you know how to love your son.
This made me feel something deep inside myself that I adore. I've played this over and over again and each time, I want to join him and show him that it's going to be okay. To all all the people who feel alone and singled out, keep being you. ❤
Beyond moving. I wept openly. Thank you for this beautiful piece of art. As a person living with a disability, this touched me deeply.
you go with yer bad self !!!
much Love!!!- me
Kim, we all are here for you... youre an all star and we all should look at you in awe... getting through life is difficult..much less having a disability...Kerp your head up sister!
Oh my.. me to.. 28yrs together,21yrs married,my wife told me she doesn't want to be a wife anymore last year.. I cried the majority of 2020,rejected,lost,numb,confused,depressed.the absolutely worst hurt,pain ive ever experienced in my life
That someone I've known since we were teens,raised 5 kids together,2 grandchildren now.. How do you say goodbye after countless memories,experiences together? I still haven't figured out how to do that.. life as I knew it.. changed FOREVER
Wasn't till about a month ago the acceptance stage finally came,I haven't cried like this since then
I definitely needed it,didn't realize I still had tears left to cry.. but apparently I do ✌😌
Totally crying-I recently moved from LA, they can be brutal. I know that restaurant-those bridges, that feeling. Thank you for capturing it. I lived with the awkwardness and cruelty of having a learning disability and later in life diagnosis of MS. There is something very special about finding yourself through all that and despite all that-that cannot be easily explained, but this does a good job. Thank you Jacob
I feel for you and am so sorry you experienced cruelty here (I still live in LA). I grew up in L.A. from 3rd grade on up, and the people were often brutal to me, too; especially growing up (I'm now 55). I'm glad you found yourself. Finding one's self is a beautiful thing, as I've experienced it, too.
fuck the fucking hell out of LA. the only city ive never been to and would never live in. bunch of pedos and sycophants
that last part when jacob spins skywards: that was my secret childhood dream - kind of still is at 41 - and I remember longing to just rise above it all, feel free and no longer weighed down. thank you for doing this and sharing it.
I dont think so, think he just felt free and light and soared. why do think he committed suicide?
I see it more as him being a super hero and learning he can fly.
ha funny because i got here from the florence machine video "Free" where she dances out her anxiety. similar very similar imagery/idea
My secret childhood dream - to dance in zero gravity - this video and song means so much to me. I was completely paralysed 15 years ago and couldn't sleep for the pain so closed my eyes and spent hour after hour in my oldest dream dancing . On the third day the nurse bringing round medicine said 'she's moving her toe'. I walked out four weeks later - that dream gave me my life back (with a few breaks to my nose and teeth cos I still faceplant often 😁!) and this song is amazing :)
@@pippanightingale9908 🤍🤍🤍
I have been listening to the Decemberists since I was about 15 and as a model with rare disease and multiple disabilities I have a special connection to this song. I'm seeing from the comments I am not the only one emotionally charged by this song. Thank you for making disability not only the convo but for making it about how strong and versatile and helpful we can and could be(with more access, empathy)Acceptance is not easy to come by when people view you differently. Thank you Decemberists and thank you to the people like Jake who dance it out instead of blaming others. I love you so much
yep this
Yes to this!
A simple song, a simple video, yet a powerful message
Normally, when I get attached to a song like I did with this one, I avoid watching the music video because the artist's interpretation is usually very different from mine, and I don't want to visualize the video when I hear the song. But after watching this video and reading Colin Meloy's and Autumn de Wilde's commentary on it, _Once In My Life_ has an even deeper meaning for me now.
Which means I can't listen to it in public anymore, because it'll probably make me cry now more than it did before.
I had a certain vision in my head every time I listen to the song(which has been on repeat for days), this video was surprisingly close my vision.
A beautiful knife to the chest. Literal poetry in motion ✌❤🌈
It is rare that a song has touched me so deeply. I had to explain to my mother why I was weeping when she called me right after I finished watching this.
The beauty of this song is that we all feel this way at some point. I'm 5'3", so this hits home, but whether you're unconventionally beautiful, seen as fat, too skinny, have unique features etc. We've all felt singled out and down because of it. The world would be pretty damn boring and uninteresting if everyone looked the same. Embrace who you are and let it shine on.
My father, my eldest son, and I are all autistic, so I acutely get how the societal norms/actions can be to us, and how others treat us for it. This song speaks to my dad(along with a couple others from the album), and I think what you've written with the video will make it all the dearer to him.
Thank you, The Decemberists, your music has been with me through the good and bad these past 12 years. Now another generation is also loving your music, and I hope you all continue on for many years to come.
I wish this video reached more people, it is touching in so many ways. I'm a 30 yo with a speech impediment. I've pleaded with the universe a few times
Care for others eventually makes everybody (including oneself) happy.
Heard this song on the show Manifest the other night and fell in love with it. Watching this video and hearing the story really connected with me and now I love it that much more. Thank you Autumn, Jacob and The Decemberists.
Thank you Jacob. This video has meant a lot to me. Also, thank you Autumn (and everyone involved including the Decemberists) for making this video.
This is art
Agree'd my friend
much Love-me
I’ve devoted my adult life to supporting differently able people and was at the funeral of an amazing young woman we supported just hours ago.
The last time that I saw her was at her 21st birthday party, one month ago today. Doctors and all kinds of experts said that she wouldn’t see birthday after birthday but Eleanor just kept going.
She touched the lives of so many people in her short life. She loved music, clothes and laughing. Most of all she loved life.
Some people will always see differences. Education is obviously essential but while there’s people to look past the differences, sometimes, it’s better just to focus on the love that a human being can exude and garner, no matter what they may look, talk, act or speak like.
For every “celebration of sadness”, make sure you manage to have a celebration of life and love. Be good to one another.
well said my friend !.
much Love-me
I feel so happy and free when I see the man in the video dance. I can feel what he is feeling. I feel so happy for him and so proud of him for finding freedom for his spirit. I want this for everyone to feel. To whoever reads this, I believe in you and I support you feeling this free and loved.
I have always loved this song and just stumbled on the video. As the mom of a 12 soon to be 13 year old boy with Autism this video touched me deeply. I see him trying very much to connect to his peers and often he feels horrible about himself for his differences.
I come back and watch this video and listen to this song when I'm having a bad day. Sobbing of course haha, but the message behind the song and video alike is profound. It is beyond words and I love it with all my heart, thank you for sharing your art with us!!!!!! It helps more than you will ever know
7' 2" giant here. I CAN relate!!! :'(
God bless the Decemberists
He's lonely. So am I, for different reasons. Life can be brutal....and people very cruel or even indifferent.
I so hear ya.. major life transition over Labor Day weekend 2020.. nothing's the same.... It'll be ok... 😷😎
I have goose-bumpily, lump-in-throat tears. Autumn de Wilde never ceases to amaze. I already loved this song, and all of it's beautiful sadness, but its use as a piece of a puzzle box tribute really brings out the inner beauty of the song's message. It's great when true artists can unite, and create something this powerful together. The world needs less soul-suckers who want to take from one another, and more collaborators who want to give.
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Dank Hill, yup. Sure am.
... por que no los dos?
Let's be honest, we're both crying.
Andrew Bryson I am, it's just a silly joke. Most people will deny crying, and use an excuse like "There's something in my eye". But it's something I think anyone would cry about, so I was pretty much saying "everyone is crying" lol.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
You are beautiful Jacob! Blessings and gratitude to YOU for elevating all of our souls and reminding us of the power of our shared humanity. I am so grateful for every deeply felt emotion this exquisite video has evoked.
Gorgeous, perfect, powerful
The New York Times' Best Seller
Gut punched. Soul quenched. Tears streaming hot.
joshua wylie great words, I felt the same
I have autism, and have always been either invisible or misunderstood. Thank you for this song.
Who's here after the manifest ep2...!?
What a great video. Autumn De Wilde did a beautiful job, her brother is beautiful in this as well. Incredible idea for a video.
As a single dad of an 8 yr old , I know that feeling of trying your hardest and things still don’t go your way . All we can do is keep trying .. this song hit right in the feels 😣😔
Head up lad. Hope you and ya son are well. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Seasiders
I've heard this song before, but just discovered the video. The video, the song, Colin and Autumn's statements, all of them came together for me to make a really cathartic piece of art.
Thank you Colin, Autumn, Jacob and everyone else. I've been in a bit of a rough place and this is just the kind of thing I needed today.
Just cried like a baby. Great song. Most needed.
So powerful. So gorgeous. So much love.
I am strangely comforted by this song, during this pandemic of 2020-2021
Just thinking the same thing.
Back for my fifth watch in as many days - one of the best videos / songs I've seen in the last decade, thank you.
Not me sobbing hysterically today when this came on. ❤
This adds even more to this song....the concert that I saw in Red Rocks of "The Decemberists" was perfect....everything about it. If you haven't seen them on this tour - you are missing out. Wonderful. Just pure wonderful...
I was at the Red Rocks show as well. I cannot describe how amazing their performance was. Thinking about it still gives me chills and brings me so much joy.
I've recently discovered I've been neurodivergent my entire life, after decades of believing myself to be "typical" -- capable but not in a way that fits in with the rest of society. I've been a Decemberists fan since the early 2000s, and when this song came out I immediately connected with it, even though I didn't know I was neurodivergent at the time. Love to my neurodivergent and disabled community. I am only beginning to discover how amazing this community is, and I only regret not having been able to do so sooner.
Once in a while a song will come into your life that will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end! It will make you smile it will make you cry. And personally thats what this song has done! If i could change anything it would to be of found this song sooner! Its such a beautiful song and think it can have so many different meanings to different people. The video is amazing and Jacob is one of this worlds most perfect imperfections! Living life to his fullest is just my opinion Its not always easy to see the light in the darkest of times!!!!!
Jacob, that was fantastic! It was a joy watching you dance, you have great energy that comes through clearly.
Love the Decemberists and I'm learning with my step daughter. Just hope I'm doing right by her.
I am undone. This is everything, and I am completely undone.
I burst into tears as soon as the video ended. What an incredible message. I already loved this song and now it has reached a new peak. Thank you for this.
Julia Charvat What is the message you took?
Reject the world's bullshit judgments and elevate to a celebration of the uniqueness of self
PURE BEAUTY!!
I love the message of this video….. Never Judge and just spread LOVE !!!!!! This song made me really cry… Nothing goes right in my life… so this really hits hard!!!!!
This is the greatest song/video combination ever. I'll fight anyone who disagrees.
This is a wonderful song and I couldn't agree more with everything Amber said. Meet people , adults and children where they are and as they are. Don't make them step into your world all the time.
This song is very apt about my own experience, growing up I knew that I was different from my friends and family, and never. I got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016, when I was 48, and suddenly everything made sense. My brain worked differently than others. And I knew why. I realized then that there wasn't anything wrong with me; my whole life up until that point was just a developmental disorder asserting itself.
As a person who lost one of the most important people of my life, this song completely captures my feelings because my relationship with him was considered non-traditional by his family and friends - he was my boyfriend and very LDS and I'm not sorry or embarrassed for saying that. And everytime I see this video, I can't help but sob... but it's a good sob... like someone out there really understands me. I say thank you for this video and thank you for this song.
Sterling, i understand how you feel. I lived in SLC during my H.S. years and was rejected by many in the LDS community. 30yrs ago i was hung up and hurt by a girlfriend who wanted me to convert, and i couldn't as i disagreed with their beliefs. Its really worked out well for me as I learned compassion for them. I moved to the South and the Lord saved & healed me of the pain this life can bring, and i hope He does for you as well. He introduced me to my wife and we were engaged on our first date, married 4months later. Tomorrow is our 27th wedding anniversary 😊
How dare any of you act like victims when you're why lgbt Americans have less rights in over half the country. Trans Americans, and their kids, and Americans of color. LDS people shun others for not behaving just like them, and their violence doesn't deserve "compassion." A civil war officer had the right of it over 100 years ago, but instead we slaughtered the natives and let Utah continue to be an embarrassing monument to white mediocrity for over a century.
I love this, I watched and as he raised his hands in the air I was caught in awe and felt overwhelmed with emotion. Thank you for this gift.
It´s done, thank you for your motivation....
I have watched this video probably a dozen times today. I can't get enough of it. It's so beautiful!
This really hit me in my heart and I cried while reading it. My son has autism and I can identify with this story. Thanks so much for sharing. We all need this humanity.
Been watching this video for months now with my kids, one of which has special needs.. Huge thumbs up to the Decemberists for going out on a limb to represent. Great song, great video. Keep coming back to it over and over again.
I have never been so moved to tears at the first notes of a video. Just overwhelmingly beautiful. So looking forward to seeing these guys live this weekend for the first time!
De Wilde's statement about her brother sank into my heart and made me laugh, thinking about how many times I've been asked if my brother is an athlete or that he should be one. How every year buying clothes for school was a journey of failures and stares. How grocery stores are the worst because he clears over most shelves and everyone wants to point, talk about, give advice, and ask him to touch the ceiling. How people laugh when he admits to getting panic attacks in crowded places sometimes. 'But you're the tallest person here, no one is going to want to mess with you!'
My brother is also around 210cm/7ft.
He has Marfan syndrome.
No, he is not a basketball player.
He will always be my little brother and love him no matter what challenges he faces.
It must have been so hard for him as a kid, always being taken for much older than he actually was. I hope his panic attacks grow less frequent and that he finds that special someone who makes all of that disappear and happiness take its place.
Class. Real Class. Love me some Decemberists. Their harmonies,are just sublime. Class vocals,class lyrics,and wonderful musicianship. Thanks for This Fantastic Upload. Regards Frank
Watching manifest great series enjoying it very much
Love these guys!
I love you guys so much, please come to Brazil!
I could not love you guys more, my favorite band for the last 15 years or so. This video is perfection.
This is so beautiful, so moving, so uplifting. Rarely does a music video exude such love. Thanks very much for making it and for the Decemberists for another cracking song.
The Decemberists produce the most beautiful music and the most poignant videos. Love this
this is just straight up beautiful.
I heard this song first the first time this morning in my car, and the tears just started rolling down my face. After reading Jacobs story and watching this beautiful video, I realized I've been through similar experiences. I was bullied as a child, although not diagnosed then, I believe I do suffer from ADHD, and slight autism. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as an adult. At 52 I do function, and appear "normal", whatever that is. I've never truly fit in, never married, and although studied at an acting conservatory, never fully realized my dreams. maybe there is still time. Thank you for this powerful song and video.
There is still time.
Colin Meloy, I love you.
The simplicity of this song belies its profundity. Beautiful, simple, declarative and true.
Incredibly awesome video for an incredibly powerful song.
I needed this song when i was younger as well . Absolutely beautiful description and song. I love all of you 💛
It didn't take very long for me to burst into tears. It instantly brought to mind all those in my life that have been different.
Especially the folks I got to know and love at a group home for those suffering from schziophrenia. All they want is to be talked to like a "normal" person, to have someone look them in the eye without seeing a threat, or worse, pity.
Thank you Autumn, and blessings to Jacob. Thank you Colin, and blessings to Hank. I'll be seeing you and your cohorts on the 27th in Tahoe. If I may request this song in your set list? Safe journey.
If I needed any more reason to call you guys my favorite. Sending so much love to Jacob and Hank
This moved me immensely before I even read the story behind it. After I read it, I had tears in my eyes. Just lovely!
Amen to this song
This one is...beautiful ! I love this so much...a heavy round of applause !
JUST AN INCREDIBLE SONG, when I needed it!!
Thank you!!@❤❤❤❤
Oh, God - How much beauty! I adore this band!
Something went really, really right, here :)
Beautiful. Perfect. Moving. Brilliant!
I cried. Real tears. This is what a great video does: elevates an already great song to the stratosphere.
Just beautiful....
Beautiful. Thank you so much.
This is absolutely perfect! I'm blown away.
This is wonderful! Sometimes (most of the time) I feel alone in the world but for reasons I don't understand this song makes me feel like maybe we are many. Thank you The Decemberists!
Wow. I was asked recently when was the last time I cried and I had to think. . . I've teared up here and there over the years; but tonight, my face broke. Thank you.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
Wow.. goose bumps, tears.. the video is great, the song is amazing.. the words are like they were written for me. Pretty much blown away. 😢
This is great
Love this, love it to bits.....
What a beautiful song, we are different/weird in our own way. There is no one that should be made fun of or ridiculed. Ever
Just wonderfully inspirational - Thank you to all
This is so powerful, so poignant. It’s like he is an angel! Kudos to all involved!
Moving, beautiful, perfect, you did it again my friends!!!
Emotivo, bello, perfecto, lo han hecho de nuevo amigos!!!
Absolutely perfect . Love this so much
Beautiful.