Funny tho is he the guy who marched with BLM and was one of like three republicans who didn't suggest giving more blowjobs to putin? So dude is switching views more often than a man named Lindsey.
"Pepsi making refreshments a central issue in the election" at the beginning. "Everyone drink your chocolate milk" at the end. All hail Eternal President Romney.
Even that one episode with humanity building a device to make itself go extinct because the whole world is so terrible no one even wants to live anymore?
@@aidan4337 could you give some examples of marxist communist protest groups whose main interests were racial equality? Generally for hardline left wing groups (such as marxism) class consciousness, the redistribution of wealth/capital and the lower and working classes from the upper/ruling class owning the means of production (for example, the workers in a factory, owning said factory) and generally the violent overthrow of the existing system and regime, often through some form of revolution and the replacement of the former system with a socialist one, which will attempt to transition to a communist economic system. (Please note, this is why you get communist parties in socialist countries, such as the USSR, Cuba, Vietnam and china before the dengist reforms transitioning the state from Maoist communism to something more akin to a form of state capitalism with socialist elements.) However to truly understand what Marxism is that you need to know that none of what I've already said matters and there is at least one exception to each concept, the main reason for this is that Marx didn't finish his work so Marxism has branched from classical and revisionist marxism, and then from there into a host of splinter groups (Maoism, trotskyism, Leninism, stalinism, marxo - leninism, titoism, hoxhaism, Luxemburgism, etc) I would also like to note that not all forms of Marxism are authoritarian (the marxo-leninist ideologies are pretty much the only authoritarian/totalitarian ones, it was one of the things marx and engels didn't really get round to). Anyway sorry for the word wall, I don't want to antagonise you, just to explain why I disagree with you, I would argue that BLM as a movement is much closer to progressivism and some social democratic ideals, rather than Marxism.
@Mialisus Huh. I just had an interesting thought, reading this. When people write alternate history it almost always looks better than the reality we got. Not always; but most of the time. It's unforeseen events that cause issues, not predictable ones. If major issues were predictable, we would solve them before we had them. In fact we usually do. It's ill-preparedness for nonsense to rain down in the future that makes regimes fail.
@@amaz0nsmash I see. Temporary indeed, because that doesn't really _do anything_ to make you more safe from them. In fact, if the Seekers are after both of them, and they find one of them, then the Seekers could learn from that one some things to help them find the other one, too! 😒
@@amaz0nsmash Unless, there are a limited number of these Seekers, so they can't hunt down _everyone_ as efficiently because there is a lower ration of pursuers to pursued. Except, because the Seekers can go back in time, any one of them could exist in many locations at any given moment, so that doesn't help either. Actually, we haven't heard from "iknow things" for about five years. I wonder if they got him? 🤷♂️
I looked down, and suddenly there was a glass of chocolate milk in my hands. Had it been here all along? Just to be sure, I pledged allegiance to His Romnesty.
Indeed. I was not prepared for the time skip at the end. Though we seem to have veered off into another timeline where political power is in the hands of daytime tv stars. It was a weird timeline.
Piper was hot till the Romney time slip causality changed her . Damn you Romney and your master plan !! Wait....does that mean I can have multiple wives now ? Nevermind that would also mean multiple divorces too. There's always a catch .😫😔
I think this is honestly one of the best videos The Onion has ever done. It's right up there with the post-election Obama zombies and the panel discussing the regulation of suicide vests.
1:20 "More corporate money has been pumped into 2012 campaigns since the Ford Presents the Pfizer 2000 U.S. Election' Hey, we got the Pfizer 2020 election.
1. In his newsletter. The newsletter with his name on the cover. That he had complete control of. And he allowed this to happen MANY TIMES. AND HE NEVER FIRED THAT WRITER. Of course he's unfit, he can't manage to control something he has absolute authority over, let alone a country. 2. I don't believe he drafted, suggested, or got the absurdly overwhelming support of that bill. Not to mention, it was a REPUBLICAN who suggested that rider, in the GOP own House no less.
Eternal President Romney has 47% chance of accomplishing that goal and with 53% chance of failure. All Hail Eternal President Romney. GOOD MITT TO YOU!
Because he botched it. He didn't have the guts to kill himself, and merely tackled himself instead. This is not a great enough event to meaningfully change history.
![Six Hundred Strike [EPIC: The Musical] Full Animatic](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zov6NXIAuow/mqdefault.jpg)
Romney coldly raising that pistol to Romney's head. I legit Loled.
no
@@rohitrai6187 Yes. It was funny. If you didn't find it funny, oh well. Not everyone can have a sense of humor.
@@JacquesLapeyre holy fuck I didn't think you would respond to that after almost a year.
You... “legit loled”... Jesus Christ, you come straight from 2010?
@@warrcoww6717 it may come as a surprise to one so young as you, but people existed before the 21st century. I actually come from the year 1981.
“As of later today, Romney never supported gay marriage”
Reminds of of when Hillary tried to make people forget she used to be against gays.
Funny tho is he the guy who marched with BLM and was one of like three republicans who didn't suggest giving more blowjobs to putin? So dude is switching views more often than a man named Lindsey.
I love how absolutely insanely over the top the intro graphics are. You were glorious while you lasted, Onion News Network. Thank you for your service
now they have a podcast. they have fallen so far
@@richardai1894 ikr, podcasts are the worst
@@richardai1894
They created so many parodies that they are now a parody of themselves.
@@richardai1894 They don't even have that podcast anymore either.
Clickhole is still great though
@@matthew8153 it’s actually just funding reasons why they stopped making videos like thus
"Pepsi making refreshments a central issue in the election" at the beginning.
"Everyone drink your chocolate milk" at the end.
All hail Eternal President Romney.
Praise be to his Romnesty
Happy Mitt to you my good sir
I remember 2008 election
Chocolate milk is the best man, been saying it for years
They predicted the creation of pilk 9 years ago
I want to live in the onion reality
Open your eyes. You're already there.
Even that one episode with humanity building a device to make itself go extinct because the whole world is so terrible no one even wants to live anymore?
@@f4tornado450 especially that one
Where America is in crumbles and China is all but ash.
we alredy are you fool!
"Wait, I'm a conservative?"
"Always have been." *CLICK*
Underrated comment ^^^
@@aidan4337 he's a conservative. Why can't he march with BLM? They are not the violent ones.
@@aidan4337 I think Romney is fine. Even if BLM is for communism, I'm sure Mitt Romney wasn't doing it for that.
@@aidan4337 could you give some examples of marxist communist protest groups whose main interests were racial equality? Generally for hardline left wing groups (such as marxism) class consciousness, the redistribution of wealth/capital and the lower and working classes from the upper/ruling class owning the means of production (for example, the workers in a factory, owning said factory) and generally the violent overthrow of the existing system and regime, often through some form of revolution and the replacement of the former system with a socialist one, which will attempt to transition to a communist economic system. (Please note, this is why you get communist parties in socialist countries, such as the USSR, Cuba, Vietnam and china before the dengist reforms transitioning the state from Maoist communism to something more akin to a form of state capitalism with socialist elements.) However to truly understand what Marxism is that you need to know that none of what I've already said matters and there is at least one exception to each concept, the main reason for this is that Marx didn't finish his work so Marxism has branched from classical and revisionist marxism,
and then from there into a host of splinter groups (Maoism, trotskyism, Leninism, stalinism, marxo - leninism, titoism, hoxhaism, Luxemburgism, etc) I would also like to note that not all forms of Marxism are authoritarian (the marxo-leninist ideologies are pretty much the only authoritarian/totalitarian ones, it was one of the things marx and engels didn't really get round to). Anyway sorry for the word wall, I don't want to antagonise you, just to explain why I disagree with you, I would argue that BLM as a movement is much closer to progressivism and some social democratic ideals, rather than Marxism.
@@aidan4337 why is communism laced into every civil rights movements?
Even MLK was with them
The 2012 election was even more convoluted than I remember it being.
Oh, yes!
Don't forget how contentious things used to be just because they are even worse now!
2024: meh, who cares anymore?
@@babyvision6924 JLC2024 cares. we need more time traveler presidents.
So this is where Amelia’s time machine went.
Yup.
I'm not a fan of Mitt Romney, but I approve of this cunning use of time travel.
Just reminding you of this video and your comment after 7 years. 😂
@@EnggBear I’m pretty sure they are joking
@@funkyfinn1 there is no joking here. Good Mitt to you sir
I approve of chocolate milk
Then I hope u are prepared to dump all your income into the money hole
I love getting recommended political parodies of elections I'm too young to remember
Oh my
Take a gander at Six Million Dollar Man, s01e01 (1973)
Cool to watch how much has changed, and how much has not.
thanks now I feel old for remembering
@@Line... yeah wtf its only been 8 years im not that fuckin old
oh my god how young are you? I'm only 20 and i remember. Wait... that means the first election you remember was Trump's... Jesus
"Future Romney from 2016"
That didn't age well.
No, the 2016 Romney killed the 2012 Romney thus he lost the election.
Honestly seems like current Romney would actually do this lol
Somewhere between when this video was posted and 2016, the timeline deviated from a timeline where Mitt Romney is the president of the US
@@newbrood87
Time splits are what you get for killing your past self.
they just got the date wrong. That Romney is actually from 2024
1:49 "Candidates Courting America's Only Remaining Small-Business Owner"
Yesterday's satire is tomorrow's reality
+
I DEMAND WHO IS THE MAN WITH NO EYES?
I still want to know too!
It’s a scp reference
@@rag3ac334 nawh
Standing in the dark room, the baby yells, make the baby sleep once more.
WHAT IS CHINA
"Brief glimpses of faceless men" Is that a Doctor Who reference I hear? Kudos if it is.
And that chocolate men in black reference.
The graphics are just ridiculous.
ElleRoni this was 5 years ago you idiot. Of course the quality is not 100
Kalfrey lol do u read when the comment was made? The original comment was made the year this was posted
@@mynameisblue6964 lol!
Kalfrey So stupid...
@@kalfrey534 r/woosh this is satire so the over the top graphics are poking fun of news channels that do this lol
Apparently, he failed to kill the Future Romeny that's giving out 1,000 checks to everyone.
@Mialisus Huh. I just had an interesting thought, reading this. When people write alternate history it almost always looks better than the reality we got. Not always; but most of the time.
It's unforeseen events that cause issues, not predictable ones. If major issues were predictable, we would solve them before we had them. In fact we usually do. It's ill-preparedness for nonsense to rain down in the future that makes regimes fail.
If you are talking about that two trillion stimulus, Romney abstained on that bill.
And that voted to impeach Trump
@@dashiellgillingham4579 nah. Folks have warned us About Climate crisis, horrific inequality and the rise of neofascism the last fifty years.
@@sleepyleftie And they were wrong on all 3 counts lol.
The fact that Romney made recent statements criticizing both Trump and Biden make this all the more hilarious
Not really. A lot traditional conservatives, especially in Utah, hate Trump.
@@rum-hamNever Trump republicans are primarily Mormons,most likely due to Romney
What a relief. I thought I was the only one being pursued by the Seekers of NeverWhen.
We are coming for you yesterday. Bad Mitt to you.
How does other people being pursued by Seekers help _you_ ?
@@TheNoiseySpectator it's merely a temporary ease if knowing you're not the only one struggling. Others know your pain
@@amaz0nsmash I see.
Temporary indeed, because that doesn't really _do anything_ to make you more safe from them.
In fact, if the Seekers are after both of them, and they find one of them, then the Seekers could learn from that one some things to help them find the other one, too! 😒
@@amaz0nsmash Unless, there are a limited number of these Seekers, so they can't hunt down _everyone_ as efficiently because there is a lower ration of pursuers to pursued.
Except, because the Seekers can go back in time, any one of them could exist in many locations at any given moment, so that doesn't help either.
Actually, we haven't heard from "iknow things" for about five years.
I wonder if they got him? 🤷♂️
I looked down, and suddenly there was a glass of chocolate milk in my hands. Had it been here all along? Just to be sure, I pledged allegiance to His Romnesty.
Any man who gives chocolate milk to all deserves to be president for life.
@@brooklyna007*eternity
31 people didnt have a good mitt
All hail his Romnesty!
This is genius; really one of the Onion's best yet.
Indeed. I was not prepared for the time skip at the end. Though we seem to have veered off into another timeline where political power is in the hands of daytime tv stars. It was a weird timeline.
I love the over dramatic intro. It's so hilarious and typical of most news stations.
When I saw that detailed 3D model of the time machine spinning around with lightning and shit I spat my drink all over my desk.
Ah yes, the classic chocolate milk spit take. We've all had them and it's oft a point of discussion on national chocolate milk day. Good Mitt to you!
Glad to know everything went ok
JD Vance is furiously researching to create his own time machine
The Onion could be so great in the age of deepfakes
The Onion invented deepfakes, and now reality as we know it is a deepfake
How did they predict Endgame?
I love how they both have Mitt-hair at the end of the video. Hahahahilarious. Good Mitt to you.
Excellent shift to the newscasters change because of time travel. You should do more of these
Piper was hot till the Romney time slip causality changed her .
Damn you Romney and your master plan !!
Wait....does that mean I can have multiple wives now ?
Nevermind that would also mean multiple divorces too.
There's always a catch .😫😔
"New abstinence program to focus on how much sex hurts."
So our romney is going to kill 4 year younger romney?
maybe 2020 romney is going to kill the 2012 Romney that actually acted like a Republican instead of impeaching a Republican incumbent.
@@redcoat4348 well describing trump as a republican is putting it strongly.
2021 Romney is probably just gonna go back and tell 2010 Romney not to run for president until 2016.
I think this is honestly one of the best videos The Onion has ever done. It's right up there with the post-election Obama zombies and the panel discussing the regulation of suicide vests.
Chocolate milk as the national drink? Best Romney plan I've heard so far.
1:20 "More corporate money has been pumped into 2012 campaigns since the Ford Presents the Pfizer 2000 U.S. Election'
Hey, we got the Pfizer 2020 election.
The onion always predicts everything.
As Seen On: Marijuana Growing.
oh my god its daddy shaym
Damn, after all these years.
Dr gayim why are you gay.
I like the implication that everyone would notice what changed and would know who was responsible.
Proof that onion actually has a time machine.
btw, this is 900th comment
Congrats! 🎉
This has aged extremely well
5 years, 531 videos and I'm still unconvinced the Onion is a parody news source.
Good Mitt to all of you too!
I died at the "brief glimpses of faceless men" part 🤣🤣🤣
And a blessed Mitt to you, my dear.
Well Fox news & the Daily Mail are trying their best to catch up with the high water mark the Onion has set for them
Great comment Psykomancer!
Good Mitt to all and to all a Good Mitt!
"You can't do that! You'll cause a Time Paradox!"
TIME PARADOX
Game Over.
I hate politics I can only watch the onion. You keep all of this sane
That intro makes me so happy.
The TVA is definitely going to prune him...
If everyone gets free chocolate milk, I'd be willing to get behind an eternal president Romney 🤣🤣🤣
This was such a trip! The Onion is amazing
So, about those time wraiths chasing him....
It's wonderful that RUclips allows us to relive the glory days of the Onion
I miss this production value from the onion. They still do a lot of good work, but these TV news segments are missed.
That was the best clip I have ever seen from the Onion! Perfect title too...
Love the opening Graphics
Time travel is not a short-cut. It's hard work.
I’m calling it now, when the Loki TV show comes, a lot of people are going to be in these comments talking about the time travel and faceless men.
A less than a 3-minute sketch with a high sci-fi concept you could make a movie out of.
Hmmm, this is actually more believable than Fox News.
And CNN
And OAN
And SANTA
@Pecu Alex I mean yeah, one of them could be plausible and truthful and the other is Fox News
And DIBF
Thank you! Cutting the departemtn of edu and the EPA and no regulations etc
Romney still has that time machine.
Time machine is a recurring topic of onions. Perhaps they really DO have a time machine
Turns out his liberal version tricked him .
Lol at the intensely conservative ad before an Onion video. Way to know your audience
I laughed when I was drinking chocolate milk and she was like, "let's drink chocolate milk"
Hey, you're right. I wonder if the editors were aware of that.
Is no one gonna talk about that amazing fucking intro
It used to be so simple
wait. He flip flopped again LOL
Damn it worked… Romney actually did it, and it’s affected my RUclips algorithm all the way in 2022.
2:11
Good night sweet Prince.
Romney said he would not use the time machine anymore and then an hour later said he will.
Funny that, now he's known as a 'Rino' by the newly radicalised party majority.
Thank you so much for this video.
This is why I never play poker. There are people who can keep a straight face no matter the content. Lol
Ah yes the first election I remember, man I forgot how wild it was
2:30 top line:
*Show your allegiance to his Romnesty*
Note how at 1:48 the Mitts, plural in the news ticker changes to Mitt, singular LOL
That's what would happen if Romney was elected
Speaking of taking your medicine. Take your medicine!
"Show allegiance to his Romnesty"
Great graphics my dudes. Hilarious. Top work
because of the butterfly effect
Finally a broadcast from the future. How long ago did they promise us this?
1:05
Wait, how do they have the original photo if it was never taken in our timeline? PARADOX!
clever plan for Romney, his past has come back to bite him for sure
I love how overly dramatic the intro is
1. In his newsletter. The newsletter with his name on the cover. That he had complete control of. And he allowed this to happen MANY TIMES. AND HE NEVER FIRED THAT WRITER. Of course he's unfit, he can't manage to control something he has absolute authority over, let alone a country.
2. I don't believe he drafted, suggested, or got the absurdly overwhelming support of that bill. Not to mention, it was a REPUBLICAN who suggested that rider, in the GOP own House no less.
Eternal President Romney has 47% chance of accomplishing that goal and with 53% chance of failure.
All Hail Eternal President Romney.
GOOD MITT TO YOU!
This is literally a paradox.
In 2012 this was satire.
In 2020, this is reality.
You mean the Pfizer election? Yeah
And we don’t even get chocolate milk this time :(
They got chocolate milk. I mean.. Its not all bad, I suppose.
Thank you
cunning, but how come they still knew about the old photo of Romney? It was erased from history after all.
Because he botched it. He didn't have the guts to kill himself, and merely tackled himself instead. This is not a great enough event to meaningfully change history.
god i wish i were living in the forever president romney timeline instead of the shit we got ourselves into now
He's a neocon, with emphasis on "Con."
Wow, what a mature way to deal with not getting your way.
I think this is what Trump did...he is after all used to be a "Democrat". Lol!
"If there's one person I can trust with knowledge of the future, it's my fellow rich liberal yankee Donald!" -Mitt Romney, alternate 2012.
As a person trump is actually liberal, but as a businessman, he realized he had a better chance of winning the election as a Republican
and it worked
That is the most amazing intro ever. Its all epic and dramatic!
OMG! Could you exaggerate anymore on the graphics!?
Heavyboxes DIY Master That's on purpose