Romney's Terrifying Google Search History Leaked

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  • Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
  • Subscribe to The Onion on RUclips: bit.ly/xzrBUA
    BREAKING: Analysts are scrambling to determine what leaked searches like "Blood child, blood on the child" and "must the president look at people" could tell us about Mitt Romney.
    For More War For The White House: onion.com/RnKrwY
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Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @johnmichael642
    @johnmichael642 5 лет назад +12787

    did I just hear "Holocaust bloopers" at the end

    • @thecoolestdaniel4554
      @thecoolestdaniel4554 4 года назад +454

      Yes you did and so did I

    • @joeblaster8770
      @joeblaster8770 4 года назад +279

      What do you get when you type that in, do I want to know.

    • @abegohr2576
      @abegohr2576 4 года назад +26

      John Michael HolocaustED

    • @emmalucas5379
      @emmalucas5379 4 года назад +173

      Joseph Christovich Mostly reenactments, bloopers from student films with titles related to "Holocaust", and documentaries.

    • @a_random_orthodox_Christian
      @a_random_orthodox_Christian 4 года назад +139

      Holocaust bloopers I’m going to search it right now good thing I’m not running for president

  • @CarryLarry
    @CarryLarry 10 лет назад +10613

    "Standing in the dark room, the baby yells, make the baby sleep once more" and "I demand who is the man with no eyes" is like modern Edgar Allan Poe.

    • @6iaZkMagW7EFs
      @6iaZkMagW7EFs 6 лет назад +115

      Soho Joe It's true. I find it quite poetic

    • @glowingdawn9179
      @glowingdawn9179 5 лет назад +53

      @@khamjaninja. I've googled that doing research for dungeons and dragons game ideas

    • @thealaskanbullworm1442
      @thealaskanbullworm1442 5 лет назад +76

      The screaming, the screaming

    • @klj2382
      @klj2382 4 года назад +24

      Quote the raven....

    • @Eisenwulf666
      @Eisenwulf666 3 года назад +25

      The man with no eyes is The Corinthian ,obviously . If the Corinthian is stalking him, i don't fancy his chances

  • @INRamos13
    @INRamos13 7 лет назад +4310

    Romney searched for "the screaming, the screaming" over 70 times in one week.

    • @owenfuertes8236
      @owenfuertes8236 3 года назад +17

      No replies? Don’t worry, I’m here to save you

    • @HairyJuan
      @HairyJuan 3 года назад +27

      Completely normal

    • @ACookingComb8707
      @ACookingComb8707 3 года назад +5

      @@HairyJuan yes

    • @None-Trick_Pony
      @None-Trick_Pony 2 года назад +12

      Are you insinuating that this is abnormal?

    • @progfox
      @progfox 2 года назад +9

      THE SCREAMING WONT STOP!!!!

  • @General_Nothing
    @General_Nothing 4 года назад +9240

    “Who will betray me question mark”
    I love the idea that he thinks Google is like some sort of oracle or prophet.

    • @starja4477
      @starja4477 4 года назад +122

      Right? What an idiot. He wants Ask Jeeves

    • @alec6583
      @alec6583 3 года назад +192

      Experts agree Romney sees Google as "some sort of lowly butler."

    • @thehammer3193
      @thehammer3193 3 года назад +16

      I love the idea that you think The Onion is an actual news program. It a joke news site. I'm not being condescending that is actually their hole purpose as a company. They take what is happening in the world and make up funny stories about it.

    • @StarWarsomania
      @StarWarsomania 3 года назад +48

      Ryan Heath You are a walking embodiment of r/whoosh

    • @mylifeismylife5056
      @mylifeismylife5056 3 года назад +4

      Damn girl you finer than a mug!!

  • @maxhydekyle2425
    @maxhydekyle2425 2 года назад +1674

    "A pile of hearts high quality" Is a genuinely terrifying search.

    • @simplepixel496
      @simplepixel496 2 года назад +38

      In another video a bag of human hearts is left/donated outside a hospital 🤔

    • @AdarshKumar-nj7rp
      @AdarshKumar-nj7rp 2 года назад +13

      What about "blood on a child" ?

    • @Dafoodmaster
      @Dafoodmaster Год назад +2

      i imagine it was "pile of hearts HQ"

    • @GynxShinx
      @GynxShinx Год назад +4

      buying or selling?

    • @timtheli0n
      @timtheli0n Год назад +2

      These were AI image generator prompts before their time...

  • @mchagnon7
    @mchagnon7 5 лет назад +4979

    17% of Romney's searches mention "captives."
    12% use the phrase "how to keep them quiet."
    40% touch on the theme of obedience.

    • @user-ov9bb8du9b
      @user-ov9bb8du9b 4 года назад +214

      Marcel Chagnon anyone else notice those numbers add up to 69

    • @randomcommenter395
      @randomcommenter395 4 года назад +24

      BMW Dude that’s the joke

    • @Ziedricht
      @Ziedricht 4 года назад +101

      @@randomcommenter395 nah the jokes is the violent nature of his search

    • @alexbohatch3503
      @alexbohatch3503 4 года назад +3

      Zacharie Richer dude your stupid

    • @viano9541
      @viano9541 4 года назад +27

      Marche Royale bro you so dumb

  • @coolreader18
    @coolreader18 3 года назад +1898

    I love how rather than the usual delay between people talking on tv news channels, they actually start talking before the other person is done lol

    • @thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083
      @thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083 2 года назад +186

      “Extremely caffeinated”

    • @Ijustdidthat
      @Ijustdidthat Год назад +14

      @@thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083 probably also the reason for the screaming and why he is "going through" the lists while screaming back at her

    • @aes0p895
      @aes0p895 Год назад +5

      Yeah the editing on these videos is really, really well done. I used to do video editing a lot, and this is basically perfect.

    • @badgermcbadger1968
      @badgermcbadger1968 Год назад +4

      The news I watch are exactly like that

    • @DoubleMonoLR
      @DoubleMonoLR 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@badgermcbadger1968 Probably not the news you should watch then.

  • @jn9047
    @jn9047 6 лет назад +2663

    How to convince them I can taste the food

  • @agastya2802
    @agastya2802 3 года назад +2496

    "How to convince them I can taste the food"
    *You're about...8 years too early*

    • @brandonm1708
      @brandonm1708 3 года назад +75

      Oh no. You didn’t... lmao

    • @bigmiki2620
      @bigmiki2620 3 года назад +35

      Me stupid,
      Me don't know what you're referring to.

    • @Theyluvalex2007
      @Theyluvalex2007 3 года назад +161

      @@bigmiki2620 covid symptoms

    • @kebab6438
      @kebab6438 3 года назад +14

      I see more the resemblance to zucc, something he would search for

    • @timothyjosephbonilla1108
      @timothyjosephbonilla1108 3 года назад +1

      @@Theyluvalex2007 This is disturbing...

  • @wolfae2837
    @wolfae2837 4 года назад +5100

    “Joe Biden goes as Obama for Halloween” even more relevant now

  • @redchris05
    @redchris05 10 лет назад +2797

    So many punchlines. "Tensile strength of dog skin". I wish there was some way to link onion uploads to my alarm clock.

    • @TheElvenKeys
      @TheElvenKeys 5 лет назад +10

      Google home

    • @Vasshell
      @Vasshell 5 лет назад +26

      There is now

    • @larrylentini5688
      @larrylentini5688 4 года назад +10

      Ah, technology...

    • @RonJohn63
      @RonJohn63 4 года назад +25

      Shockingly, scientists actually have studied the tensile strength of dog skin.
      core.ac.uk/download/pdf/82604643.pdf "The average tensile strengths + 1 standard deviation for ... 16-
      month-old (dogs is) 2670 psi. + 469 psi".

    • @DIBZ111
      @DIBZ111 4 года назад +11

      So you googled "tensile strength of dog skin" ?? Lol

  • @bluckfactory
    @bluckfactory 10 лет назад +3046

    This is one of my favourite Onion videos ever. LOL, "I demand who is the man with no eyes"

  • @insertunfunnyusernamehere1751
    @insertunfunnyusernamehere1751 6 лет назад +1665

    *must the president look at people*

    • @48917032
      @48917032 4 года назад +53

      Might that be related to the Man With No Eyes somehow?

    • @bruhsoundeffect1903
      @bruhsoundeffect1903 4 года назад +43

      @@48917032 He is the Man With No Eyes. He was seeking himself all along.

    • @juantistic3855
      @juantistic3855 3 года назад

      no.

    • @averagefreedomenjoyer8209
      @averagefreedomenjoyer8209 3 года назад +6

      I feel like that is what every politician thinks to themselves constantly

    • @raftlack4326
      @raftlack4326 3 года назад +1

      @@bruhsoundeffect1903 maybe the man with no eyes was the friends we made along the way.

  • @DannySullivanMusic
    @DannySullivanMusic 5 лет назад +2986

    I think we're all missing the point here
    Who _IS_ the man with no eyes?

  • @SliceOfDog
    @SliceOfDog 12 лет назад +438

    "Standing in the dark room, the baby yells, make the baby sleep once more" just kills me every time! Beautiful, whoever came up with that should win pride of place at the Human Teeth Parade!

  • @mace5932
    @mace5932 3 года назад +545

    Dude the last one “Holocaust bloopers” fucking killed me🤣

    • @DominikRoost
      @DominikRoost 2 года назад +22

      6 million can relate to your comment

    • @Dubadubadu123
      @Dubadubadu123 2 года назад +3

      @@None-Trick_Pony the holocaust is not the same as ww2

    • @breakfaith3031
      @breakfaith3031 2 года назад +7

      It killed alot of people

    • @None-Trick_Pony
      @None-Trick_Pony 2 года назад +4

      @@Dubadubadu123 17 million total were killed in the Holocaust. 6 million Jews and 11 million of other minorities. 70 - 85 million total people died during WWII.

    • @Tulanir1
      @Tulanir1 2 года назад

      @@None-Trick_Pony No, 17 million is completely made up. You've made a blunder here -- 11 million is the total number of deaths in the holocaust, not the number of non-jewish deaths. The number you're looking for is 11 million, not 17 million. This means that jewish people make up a considerable majority of those killed in the holocaust.

  • @BippyTheGuy
    @BippyTheGuy 4 года назад +494

    "Human Teeth Parade" is now, apparently, the name of a band in Omaha.

    • @EGarrett01
      @EGarrett01 4 года назад +52

      Most random phrases you google will turn up some crappy indie band with that name. It used to happen so often to me that I used to put "-band" or "-music" at the end of my searches to filter them out.

    • @Vingul
      @Vingul 3 года назад +27

      @@EGarrett01 what the, I only just learned that you can filter out search words that way. Thanks.

    • @blacklisted351
      @blacklisted351 3 года назад +21

      @@Vingul You can find more tips like that on Google's advanced search page

    • @Vingul
      @Vingul 3 года назад +18

      @@blacklisted351 cheers.

  • @Qieth
    @Qieth 12 лет назад +718

    For the future, I'll start all my Google searches with "I demand" :P

  • @LancasterResponding
    @LancasterResponding 5 лет назад +838

    “Names of the men who put out the fires.”
    Hi my name is James

  • @vm9522
    @vm9522 8 лет назад +492

    "funeral woman crying, blonde"

    • @jackreid2664
      @jackreid2664 3 года назад +13

      Jesus Christ I'm getting flashbacks to wonder bread guy already

    • @raftlack4326
      @raftlack4326 3 года назад +2

      lol i didnt get that one, is he intersted in a girl he saw at a funeral?

    • @wasdwasdedsf
      @wasdwasdedsf 3 месяца назад

      @@raftlack4326 the kind of porn he likes

  • @supermarc
    @supermarc 4 года назад +430

    I would've paid a lot to be at this brainstorm session.

    • @breakfaith3031
      @breakfaith3031 2 года назад +35

      Bring $8000 to dock 7 at midnight. Come alone.

    • @alexgosling5550
      @alexgosling5550 Год назад +11

      Yeah, I wanna hear the stuff they came up with that was too dark to air

  • @HarvestingThings
    @HarvestingThings 4 года назад +313

    The Onion PLEASE BRING THESE SKITS BACK WE NEED THIS

    • @Lightningflamingice
      @Lightningflamingice 3 года назад +8

      @@froginatophat1042 its not that they would be cancelled, it's that they have no money to pay all the people required to make video skits.

    • @Nana-wi4gi
      @Nana-wi4gi 3 года назад +5

      @@froginatophat1042 Lol no. They wouldn't get cancelled

    • @froginatophat1042
      @froginatophat1042 3 года назад +1

      @@Nana-wi4gi Really? I feel like with the way things are going now and the way their old skits used to be they wouldn’t be able to keep making them without getting outrage

    • @Nana-wi4gi
      @Nana-wi4gi 3 года назад +6

      @@froginatophat1042 I doubt it would receive any significant outrage. Maybe some idiots wouldn't understand the satire but it definitely wouldn't make them cancelled lol

    • @froginatophat1042
      @froginatophat1042 3 года назад

      @@Nana-wi4gi that’s a relief lol
      ByM

  • @aes0p895
    @aes0p895 Год назад +98

    I used to be an aspiring video editor with a heavy preference for comedic content, and I'm just now realizing The Onion was truly a dream job for someone like me.

    • @petargolubovic5300
      @petargolubovic5300 Год назад +5

      They still do videos... But not like these, yeah. I pray every day that the onion yt channel get their movie budget back

    • @LocestSwarmSC831
      @LocestSwarmSC831 9 месяцев назад +1

      Well don’t keep us waiting make some quality videos like these

  • @TheOnion
    @TheOnion  11 лет назад +90

    This Week Last Year: Romney’s Terrifying Google Search History Leaked
    Subscribe to The Onion’s RUclips Channel bit.ly/xzrBUA

  • @shilelea
    @shilelea 12 лет назад +127

    Good work onion, you are truthfully the tomahawk of truth in the skull of lies

  • @fruithoops4532
    @fruithoops4532 6 лет назад +213

    "Making the man eat garbage" was my favorite.

    • @stuflames4769
      @stuflames4769 5 лет назад +21

      I liked "Convincing them you can taste the food."

    • @amadross9781
      @amadross9781 5 лет назад +15

      Blood child, blood on a child 😂

    • @smoog
      @smoog 4 года назад +3

      Penis tears

    • @emiledlund9559
      @emiledlund9559 4 года назад +21

      Mine was “Holocaust Bloopers”

    • @Vingul
      @Vingul 3 года назад +3

      @@emiledlund9559 based

  • @BarbaricGoose
    @BarbaricGoose 12 лет назад +120

    I can just imagine Romney in an isolated cave eating raw meat and repeating the phrase "Who is the man with no eyes?" over and over again.

  • @patrickking9600
    @patrickking9600 3 года назад +70

    “Who will betray me question mark” gets me every time 😂

  • @Square_Peg
    @Square_Peg 12 лет назад +216

    In Romney's defence, I have searched for exactly the same stuff.

    • @stupendoushorrendous8258
      @stupendoushorrendous8258 3 года назад +10

      Before or after watching this video?

    • @rainofrest7778
      @rainofrest7778 3 года назад +7

      @@stupendoushorrendous8258 lol its been 8 years he might not even be alive 😳

    • @stupendoushorrendous8258
      @stupendoushorrendous8258 3 года назад +10

      @@rainofrest7778 Well... I like to think he is.

    • @rainofrest7778
      @rainofrest7778 3 года назад +2

      @@stupendoushorrendous8258 its not bout what u like doe 😳

    • @Square_Peg
      @Square_Peg 3 года назад +22

      @@rainofrest7778 I'm alive, lol

  • @alvin4100
    @alvin4100 4 года назад +108

    "Average wife Lifespan" Lol

  • @thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083
    @thewayhobibrokeitdowninhan6083 2 года назад +34

    Love how they stayed true to “extremely caffeinated” the whole way through

  • @cnj420
    @cnj420 8 лет назад +81

    "local, isolated caves, Des Moines" @1:14

  • @rubenjapp7626
    @rubenjapp7626 2 года назад +15

    "opposite of doctor" 1:30. These guys were on fire back in the day. Every single detail is purely hilarious.

  • @alexanderhough9175
    @alexanderhough9175 3 года назад +142

    “Convincing them you can taste the food”
    Is Romney that one guy in the zombie apocalypse who is trying to hide the zombie bite? Except instead of zombies it’s corona

  • @Byrnzi360
    @Byrnzi360 12 лет назад +35

    The ticker was the funniest part: "The screaming, the screaming" 70 times in one week...

  • @MAlatinboy
    @MAlatinboy 11 лет назад +70

    I didn't expect "Hair Olympics" to be a real thing....

  • @andrewbloom7694
    @andrewbloom7694 3 года назад +58

    And now Romney is the most moderate, normal republican. That's frightening

    • @stephaniegreen59
      @stephaniegreen59 2 года назад +9

      Romney has always been extremely moderate. He had to pander to the far-right when he was running for President.
      His dad was a pro-civil rights, pro-union Republican Governor in the 1960s (Michigan).

    • @nts4906
      @nts4906 10 месяцев назад +7

      @@stephaniegreen59 Yeah he went from being a normal conservative to the only normal conservative left

    • @Dtitilator
      @Dtitilator 10 месяцев назад +2

      A rhino in elephant's clothing...

    • @deiansalazar140
      @deiansalazar140 9 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@DtitilatorApparently being sane makes you a RINO.

  • @stekenxu
    @stekenxu 5 лет назад +111

    Reminds me of Ted Cruz for Human President.

  • @shunalicekazami
    @shunalicekazami 5 лет назад +53

    "Joe Biden goes as Barack Obama for Halloween"

  • @thesinaclwon
    @thesinaclwon 3 года назад +26

    “A pile of hearts high quality “ 😂😂😂😂

  • @danieldaniels7571
    @danieldaniels7571 4 года назад +580

    At least Joe Biden doesn’t have to worry about his google search history being leaked since he uses a phonograph

    • @danieldaniels7571
      @danieldaniels7571 3 года назад +26

      @@liamsmith5013 nope. Phonograph. You know, the record player. C’mon man! ruclips.net/video/8iQuvb8yue4/видео.html

    • @aprilfoster2261
      @aprilfoster2261 3 года назад +15

      Hunter on the other hand...

    • @beep-beep
      @beep-beep 2 года назад

      @@danieldaniels7571 C’mon man! C’mon, listen fat! C’mon, get your act straight, Jack! Let’s do some push-ups right now, man! You’re a dog-faced pony soldier, man! Eat some chocolate chocolate chip, fat!

    • @linkhankinss
      @linkhankinss 2 года назад

      biden is 4 years older than trump

    • @danieldaniels7571
      @danieldaniels7571 2 года назад +2

      @@linkhankinss true, but Trump has been online handling his own social media for over a decade.

  • @stuflames4769
    @stuflames4769 5 лет назад +176

    I like that they went more inhuman than bizarre porn.
    Everyone that's me has weird porn searches.
    I do not have... these.

    • @whimsy5623
      @whimsy5623 3 года назад +1

      Lame.

    • @jackreid2664
      @jackreid2664 3 года назад +25

      Yeah it's excellent. I love how it is well genuinely esoteric weird shit

  • @leminjapan
    @leminjapan Год назад +18

    "Joe Biden goes as Barack Obama for Halloween" god damn I love the Onion

  • @nothingnoone8752
    @nothingnoone8752 3 года назад +20

    "I demand who is the man with no eyes"
    Ah yes, John Mulaney

  • @bloodstoneore4630
    @bloodstoneore4630 9 лет назад +37

    "tentacles made of feet" is what I remember

  • @JunohProductions
    @JunohProductions 11 лет назад +15

    WHAT IS CHINA?
    Opposite of doctor.
    Oh god, that list of searches is hilarious.

  • @alec6583
    @alec6583 3 года назад +27

    I love this. It's so chaotic because there are so many.

  • @Hatecrewdethrol
    @Hatecrewdethrol 4 года назад +186

    Man remember when Romney and then Palin were the craziest the republican party had?

    • @ThirdLawPair
      @ThirdLawPair 3 года назад +26

      Apparently whoever the party nominates becomes the craziest one ever.

    • @elchuzalongo4339
      @elchuzalongo4339 3 года назад +9

      @@ThirdLawPair i can tell Democrats didn't even try to find a good candidate for this election lmao.

    • @CityWhisperer
      @CityWhisperer 3 года назад +19

      @@elchuzalongo4339 well, that candidate won the election. By the way he was vice-president with Obama for 8 years, so he is a good candidate with experience.

    • @elchuzalongo4339
      @elchuzalongo4339 3 года назад +5

      @@CityWhisperer he's a racist creep.

    • @JJ-hm9ni
      @JJ-hm9ni 3 года назад +10

      @@elchuzalongo4339 charismatic war criminal vs charismatic war criminal.
      Yeah the people didn't have a lot of choice

  • @bisanopait9790
    @bisanopait9790 5 лет назад +91

    "average wife's lifespan" lol

  • @emperorconstantinexipalaio4121
    @emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 4 года назад +29

    “Holocaust bloopers” lmao

  • @kezkriune
    @kezkriune Год назад +23

    Fun fact: A large amount of furry porn was found in a USB in the pentagon, and since it was a secure USB, they couldn’t figure out which senator it belonged to.

    • @goober3889
      @goober3889 Год назад +5

      Obviously it belonged to all of them

    • @Phantastically
      @Phantastically Год назад

      can you provide a link with more information? this sounds hilarious but i cant find anything about it

    • @cellularautomaton.
      @cellularautomaton. Год назад +1

      ​@@Phantasticallyjust look up "furry porn" you should find the news story pretty quickly

    • @0_dearghealach_083
      @0_dearghealach_083 10 месяцев назад

      WHAAAAATTT??

  • @laurafrakinroslin
    @laurafrakinroslin 3 года назад +44

    I’m from the future of 2021 and I have some bad news about Romney’s ability to seem human compared to the rest of the GOP

  • @VestinVestin
    @VestinVestin 12 лет назад +10

    "the screaming, the screaming" roughly 10 times a day, huh ?

  • @rosearachnid879
    @rosearachnid879 3 года назад +6

    Oh my god I didn’t know this was the Onion until the end of the video

  • @squamish4244
    @squamish4244 4 года назад +53

    Remember when Mitt Romney was all we had to worry about?

  • @SovereignMoney
    @SovereignMoney 3 года назад +7

    For how old this is, its rare for it not to come true.

  • @SirzSirzWasTaken
    @SirzSirzWasTaken 3 года назад +49

    I can’t tell if they’re making fun of “unbiased” media (CNN, Fox News, etc) or Romney.
    Probably both tbh

  • @thehumungus9066
    @thehumungus9066 6 лет назад +48

    I’m gonna have a fun time google searching all of these.

    • @confusedowl297
      @confusedowl297 4 года назад +17

      What did you find? I'm scared that I'd end up on some list if I searched them.

  • @oliviaadams1432
    @oliviaadams1432 3 года назад +3

    1:29 “WHAT IS CHINA?” All caps too, jeez. 😂

  • @sameggenton1077
    @sameggenton1077 3 года назад +5

    Romney is concerned with fixing the economy and making the screaming stop

    • @anna8328
      @anna8328 3 года назад

      why would you write this kind of a comment - genuine and defending someone - on an Onion video?

  • @garycrowder
    @garycrowder 4 года назад +43

    2020: Mitt Romney doesn't seem so bad now, does he?

    • @ethanstump
      @ethanstump 3 года назад +1

      still part of a cult, he's just a part of a richer, more powerful cult.

    • @jonahwilhelm8409
      @jonahwilhelm8409 3 года назад

      Libertarian/Republican here. Romney sucks. Trump sucks too, but not nearly as bad as Romney or anyone on the left.

    • @subifyouhatetiktokandreddit234
      @subifyouhatetiktokandreddit234 3 года назад

      Trump's personality is terrible but outside covid his presidency was not that bad

    • @Klokinator
      @Klokinator 3 года назад +1

      Romney is far, far worse than Trump. Same for Mccain. Both swamp creatures. Trump is so violently opposed by the media because he reveals how corrupt and vile they are. That's why they will tell any lie to trick the gullible into believing them. They claim the moral high ground, while in truth standing within a crater of lies.

    • @JoKn21
      @JoKn21 3 года назад +1

      @@ethanstump not a cult

  • @paytonkilmer1920
    @paytonkilmer1920 3 года назад +6

    "Tensile strength of dog skin" fucking killed me.

  • @XSilentDiscipleX
    @XSilentDiscipleX 11 лет назад +13

    "Who is the man with no eyes?"
    I guess Slenderman wasn't a big fan of Romney.

  • @BippyTheGuy
    @BippyTheGuy 7 лет назад +36

    She trying her damnedest not to lose it.

  • @exzisd
    @exzisd 2 года назад +8

    Seriously some genius level comics over at The Onion. I'll never forget the first time I visited Chicago before I moved. I got off the L train in this area that hipsters buy clothes (I was a hipster that was buying those clothes) and I walked up to what to my eyes was a random red news paper stand. It was free if I remember correctly I opened the red door and began reading the paper feeling as if I had slipped into some alternate dimension or as if I was losing my mind reading the stories in the Onion newspaper. Fortunately it didn't take long for my brother to explain what The Onion was. I loved the idea at the time and would read it whenever I saw a copy. Years later as political turmoil continues and seems to have created more pressure in my life as an adult and my perception of the the state of the world at large I appreciate The Onion all the more. It's really the better version of "happy news". I always wished there was a happy news station where all they talked about was sunshine, and new born puppies, and shit like that. With a little thought beyond a week of novelty it's obvious that would grow boring. There's a platitude that says "It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it." With The Onion I am laughing although I'm aware of the true horrors waiting around every corner for me painted by 'real news'. Thanks for the years of laughs to everyone who's ever worked at The Onion and those continuing to contribute to the Onion. These clips have aged really relevant and funny a decade later. While I don't think the happy news is the solution, nor is The Onion the answer, but the Onion isn't attempting to answer the question.

  • @packblixty2147
    @packblixty2147 3 года назад +7

    “Joe Biden goes as Barack Obama for Halloween” 😂

  • @pamy913
    @pamy913 3 года назад +3

    2012... was... almost 9 years ago😨

  • @treyholyfield9913
    @treyholyfield9913 2 года назад +19

    As a Jew, I didn't mean to giggle at "holocaust bloopers" as loudly as I did.

  • @wimpwampwomp
    @wimpwampwomp 2 года назад +4

    Fun fact: 'Human Teeth Parade' is not a good name for a band because there's already a band called 'Human Teeth Parade'.

  • @sambringit7859
    @sambringit7859 5 лет назад +7

    If Romney says to Google: "I demand"
    Then our new president must be saying: "Siri call me Sir."

  • @EclecticSceptic
    @EclecticSceptic 3 года назад +13

    Definitely one of my favourite Onion sketches. Fucking hilarious.

  • @theLaserblue
    @theLaserblue 12 лет назад +39

    "name for guys who put out the fires" hahaha

  • @IAmTheInternets
    @IAmTheInternets 12 лет назад +9

    "the screaming, the screaming" is my favorite

  • @mateoramirez9003
    @mateoramirez9003 3 года назад +1

    1:29
    >WHAT IS CHINA?
    >WHAT -------
    >opposite of doctor

  • @arempy5836
    @arempy5836 3 года назад +3

    The phrase "Human teeth parade" still pops up in my now and then.

  • @davissae
    @davissae 10 месяцев назад +1

    They missed “dog distress urine more potent?” and “I demand the bubbles stop”

  • @BALJIT147
    @BALJIT147 12 лет назад +4

    This is probably as factual as fox and three times less biased.

  • @e-towncoz9897
    @e-towncoz9897 6 лет назад +103

    Am I the only who immediately searched ‘holocaust bloopers’ after this video?

    • @e-towncoz9897
      @e-towncoz9897 6 лет назад +31

      Oh

    • @garetclaborn
      @garetclaborn 6 лет назад +24

      no

    • @RonJohn63
      @RonJohn63 4 года назад +10

      Yes. The rest of us Googled "Tensile strength of dog skin".

    • @cart4092
      @cart4092 4 года назад +1

      n n stop advertising your shitty band

  • @philbertphettbart7930
    @philbertphettbart7930 4 года назад +15

    Recently I found myself rewatching old news like this, because in the age we live in now they remind me of the good old times, when I was terrified by Romney's search history.

  • @adawn9291
    @adawn9291 Год назад +1

    I'm glad to discover that my own search history is completely normal.

  • @njjcarter
    @njjcarter 12 лет назад +4

    Seriously one of the funniest Onion videos in a long while. My only problem is that there is too many funny things on screen to process at a time. I'll just have to watch it again.

  • @yikes2837
    @yikes2837 3 года назад +3

    "convincing them you can taste the food" is very relevant 8 years after this was released O_O

  • @coolbob5781
    @coolbob5781 6 лет назад +8

    its funny when i send this to people and they think its real

  • @klaytonkent5203
    @klaytonkent5203 3 года назад +2

    “Who will betray me?” 💀😂

  • @fogelmclovin2694
    @fogelmclovin2694 Год назад +3

    Obama seems like he would use accurate punctuation in his searches

  • @DylanBoeck
    @DylanBoeck 3 месяца назад +1

    "Must the president look at people" is a Calvin Coolidge search lol😂

  • @highlander2319
    @highlander2319 3 года назад +17

    "fair" "unbiased" that's how you know it's satire.

  • @depressednapoleon9745
    @depressednapoleon9745 3 года назад +2

    All presidents should have to release their search history.

    • @jackreid2664
      @jackreid2664 3 года назад

      I feel like that's a breach of privacy.

  • @npoirierart
    @npoirierart 3 года назад +3

    Holocaust Bloopers had me dying

  • @kfibcudwiefjw7428
    @kfibcudwiefjw7428 Год назад +2

    “holocaust bloopers” at the end had me dead

  • @ehhhhcudddddddd
    @ehhhhcudddddddd 5 лет назад +24

    I've watched so many of these lately from 2008-2012. Its crazy and scary how accurate most of them are. Be good to eachother y'all we only have so much time until we get obliterated.

  • @SpirusOfH
    @SpirusOfH 3 года назад +1

    The last two though. "Who will betray me" and "Holocaust bloopers". That's fucking brilliant!

  • @nicholasrodinos4701
    @nicholasrodinos4701 4 года назад +3

    Mitt Romney: I demand teach I to grammar good.

  • @x0cx102
    @x0cx102 9 месяцев назад +1

    the 2023 version is getting your chatgpt history exposed. now that would actually be incredible.

  • @darthadipose1920
    @darthadipose1920 Год назад +10

    Other searches include:
    “Where are the centipedes coming from”
    “Why are the children crying”
    “I demand what does the bright light mean”
    “Normal person being scared reaction”
    and perhaps most bizarrely:
    “Deep sea exploration smiling purple monkey footage explanation”

    • @pizzalock1760
      @pizzalock1760 Год назад

      Plot twist he some sort of alien trying to take over government

  • @chrisgarry22
    @chrisgarry22 3 года назад +2

    I’m gonna start all of my google searches with “I demand”

  • @guywhoneversleeps
    @guywhoneversleeps 3 года назад +5

    how does this after 8 years still get me to laugh?

  • @roryvonbrutt7302
    @roryvonbrutt7302 3 года назад +1

    I thought this is supposed to be a satire not an absolute blow by blow description of the minute by minute, second by second newscasting TRIPE ! ! ! lol

  • @s4dg
    @s4dg 2 года назад +6

    0:39 "convincing them you can taste the food" bro the fucking onion just predicted covid!

  • @MistahFox
    @MistahFox 3 года назад +1

    I like that all of the stars in the Onion's news room are upside down