4 Shocking & Disturbing Mysteries, SOLVED AT LAST!

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  • Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024

Комментарии • 6 тыс.

  • @LazyMasquerade
    @LazyMasquerade  6 лет назад +3648

    Happy (late) 2018!!! It's nice to be back. Had a bit of a cold recently, so if my voice sounds off you know why. Here's to a great year of spoopy horror stories! :D

    • @isiyami
      @isiyami 6 лет назад +31

      Lazy Masquerade spoopy horror

    • @NeutralNinetails
      @NeutralNinetails 6 лет назад +18

      Its not late until 2019 you're good!

    • @Lily10138
      @Lily10138 6 лет назад +5

      Lazy Masquerade are we gonna get Valentine scary stories?

    • @goatking2983
      @goatking2983 6 лет назад +2

      Lazy Masquerade ah the perfect way to start the day! Have a spoopy day!!

    • @LazyMasquerade
      @LazyMasquerade  6 лет назад +83

      Valentine's Day: Forever Alone Horror Stories.

  • @memaymoo8088
    @memaymoo8088 4 года назад +6018

    Susan cane home from a nursing shift, which is extremely tiring, she's also an older woman and she fucking killed that dude. She's a legend and a badass.

    • @luciddreamer4938
      @luciddreamer4938 3 года назад +154

      Totally, I'm in awe of her

    • @yunghunt2644
      @yunghunt2644 3 года назад +278

      Remember that the guy was also a VIETNAM VET as well!totally crazy, this story baffles me.

    • @rezzoc91
      @rezzoc91 3 года назад +102

      Don't mess up with nurses...

    • @HarleysCompass
      @HarleysCompass 3 года назад +198

      All that AND she still had it in her to offer to call him an ambulance if he stopped struggling. Like woah, ready to kill that dude to save her life, but still in nurse mode under it all.

    • @nobiep6133
      @nobiep6133 3 года назад +96

      I think the fact that she was exhausted made her more determined to get rid of anymore bullshit. As a teacher, if I'm exhausted and there is bullshit that requires more of my energy, it brinhs out the worst in me

  • @SkeleGem
    @SkeleGem 5 лет назад +8475

    Hitman: gets hired to kill Susan
    Hitman: “Why do I hear boss music?”

    • @scottcleveland6243
      @scottcleveland6243 5 лет назад +71

      This comment 😂😂😂😂

    • @crimsonair8890
      @crimsonair8890 5 лет назад +153

      Oh shit auto-save

    • @maivaiva1412
      @maivaiva1412 5 лет назад +276

      Hitman: opens the door
      Hitman: "...that's a really suspicious auto-save."

    • @nyx0781
      @nyx0781 4 года назад +40

      @SkeleGem HIS HITMAN WAS A VIETNAM VET TOO OMFGGG

    • @kaitoguy
      @kaitoguy 4 года назад +9

      Good thing that meme isnt dead yet...

  • @jesusfan355
    @jesusfan355 4 года назад +13292

    Susan wasn’t alone with the hitman the hitman was alone with Susan

    • @tootie8790
      @tootie8790 4 года назад +415

      Kyla Hall I’m reading all these Susan comments and this is the one that made me laugh the hardest 😂

    • @Allison_the_goober
      @Allison_the_goober 4 года назад +130

      Best Susan comment

    • @adambrown2814
      @adambrown2814 4 года назад +93

      @@Allison_the_goober It figures Susan estranged husband tried to have her killed by some bullshit Vietnam vet. Exmarriage IDIOTS will go to any lengths to get their way!

    • @nicolemeneses3323
      @nicolemeneses3323 4 года назад +43

      My god, underrated comment 😂

    • @adambrown2814
      @adambrown2814 4 года назад +86

      @@nicolemeneses3323 Okay! So this evil, greedy-ass soon-to-be exhusband tells his drunk ass Ex-Vet friend to kill his wife! Thank God the ex Vet tried to kill a smart, violent chick, who don't take NO SHIT! She whooped his ass! And killed him instead! She is the kind of chick I love!

  • @synderthmc
    @synderthmc 3 года назад +6952

    Susan's story is literally "Someone call an ambulance... But not for me."

    • @law9526
      @law9526 3 года назад +20

      449 likes 0 reply's

    • @synderthmc
      @synderthmc 3 года назад +30

      @@timferriss5905 congratulations, you are the second reply

    • @GyeongmiBaeb
      @GyeongmiBaeb 3 года назад +5

      Not literally

    • @santaclara6112
      @santaclara6112 3 года назад +14

      @@k.morningstar7983 I'd be interested in listening to that. Where could I find that call?

    • @cosmicaleclipse
      @cosmicaleclipse 3 года назад +27

      Same energy as "I'm a healer but"

  • @synestianinety
    @synestianinety 4 года назад +4549

    Killer: *tries to kill susan*
    Susan: *S O Y O U V E C H O S E N D E A T H*

    • @jayamsterdam
      @jayamsterdam 4 года назад +44

      COWABUNGA IT IS

    • @Ahrone1586
      @Ahrone1586 4 года назад +2

      @@jayamsterdam what

    • @Artorias269
      @Artorias269 4 года назад +20

      for anyone that does not get it it says "so you've chosen death"

    • @lc-mx1ir
      @lc-mx1ir 4 года назад +15

      Soy ou vecho sende ath

    • @drinkinbebop6231
      @drinkinbebop6231 4 года назад +3

      Quote by Saruman the white!

  • @silent0089
    @silent0089 5 лет назад +5762

    Killer: **tries to kill Susan**
    Susan: Oh, you're approaching me?

    • @TheDaibu
      @TheDaibu 5 лет назад +254

      Killer: [silent]
      Killer's Mind: "I can't beat the hell out of you without getting closer!"

    • @bruhman2396
      @bruhman2396 5 лет назад +208

      Daibuman *Susan* : HO HO! then come as close as you’d like..

    • @offbrandbleach2604
      @offbrandbleach2604 4 года назад +125

      *DIO SUSAN*
      *DIO SUSAN*

    • @Dawn-ux5ss
      @Dawn-ux5ss 4 года назад +31

      Yade yade daze

    • @darthfastball1150
      @darthfastball1150 4 года назад +78

      TELL ME WHY YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME HAPPY OR I WILL CONTINUE TO STRANGLE YOU. 5 SECONDS HAVE PASSED. WHY ARE YOU HERE? 6 SECONDS HAVE PASSED.

  • @vocexseta
    @vocexseta 5 лет назад +2588

    Hitman: You’re strong D’:
    Susan: YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL

    • @mel646
      @mel646 5 лет назад +1

      😂😂😂

    • @e_mily_
      @e_mily_ 5 лет назад +13

      cj and big smoke???

    • @hakuqtsukii
      @hakuqtsukii 5 лет назад +8

      BIG SMOKE 😥

    • @FreakoftheAngels
      @FreakoftheAngels 5 лет назад +59

      IM NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOURE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME

    • @Viktor007
      @Viktor007 5 лет назад +6

      Grove Street, home, at least it was before I fucked everything up

  • @EmmaMurgatroyd
    @EmmaMurgatroyd 3 года назад +1398

    Why is no one talking about how ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING that laughing was in the first story?

    • @melanielanphier
      @melanielanphier 3 года назад +97

      That legit terrified me.

    • @cathiebobble
      @cathiebobble 2 года назад +40

      Yeah it honestly sent chills down my spine

    • @joka_jinx
      @joka_jinx 2 года назад +68

      It sounded like a dying weasel

    • @sunflowerscreativeshowcase
      @sunflowerscreativeshowcase 2 года назад +83

      Because by the end of the video all anyone could think about was dropping everything to write fanfic about Susan. _Obviously._

    • @holembac
      @holembac 2 года назад +34

      Made me cringe a bit
      Edit:- grammatical error.

  • @silviajimenez8523
    @silviajimenez8523 4 года назад +5431

    Hitman: *tried to murder susan*
    Susan: *reverse uno card*

    • @Oldfriend841
      @Oldfriend841 4 года назад +41

      Silvia Jimenez
      Reverse uno card... really-?
      It’s uno reverse you absolute window frame 😂

    • @silviajimenez8523
      @silviajimenez8523 4 года назад +10

      We are Doomed lmao, my bad-

    • @aditisonak
      @aditisonak 4 года назад +3

      Best comment on the Internet😂😂😂

    • @53subscribersnovideos35
      @53subscribersnovideos35 4 года назад

      *no u*

    • @word2927
      @word2927 4 года назад

      I hate Eggs lmao

  • @phlarbus7821
    @phlarbus7821 4 года назад +5493

    Guy: *tries to kill Susan*
    Susan: “Oh, that’s cute.”

    • @penelopespearhead868
      @penelopespearhead868 4 года назад +77

      @Aggressive Tubesock they were talking about the last story, not the first. Both women named Susan

    • @penelopespearhead868
      @penelopespearhead868 4 года назад +56

      @Aggressive Tubesockshush little girl

    • @penelopespearhead868
      @penelopespearhead868 4 года назад +58

      @Aggressive Tubesock told you to hush

    • @JarickKleinLViray
      @JarickKleinLViray 4 года назад +15

      Ara ara

    • @redcognito
      @redcognito 4 года назад +33

      @Aggressive Tubesock what? They are talking about the Susan in last story who killed the man who attacked her

  • @user-ik7vm1kt6q
    @user-ik7vm1kt6q 5 лет назад +3450

    Top 10 Most Overpowered Anime Characters:
    Number 1: Susan

    • @outragedartz6187
      @outragedartz6187 5 лет назад +21

      Number 2: Madara uchiha

    • @TheBlankInk
      @TheBlankInk 5 лет назад +28

      How dare you forget Shaggy?!

    • @anushasingh3548
      @anushasingh3548 5 лет назад +10

      loop zoop ur all wrong, it’s Cory in the house

    • @any5484
      @any5484 4 года назад +3

      loop zoop I made this comment 1k likes I am proud

    • @Sakura-nb3lk
      @Sakura-nb3lk 4 года назад +2

      Number 3: Shaggy

  • @ijusthappenedtonotlikecorn8086
    @ijusthappenedtonotlikecorn8086 3 года назад +229

    "If you can't run and you can't hide, you have to fight." Susan said.
    Mad respect for this woman.

    • @Chemical_Ali
      @Chemical_Ali Год назад +3

      Sounds like what the hitman was thinking once he realized Susan is a badass. 😁

  • @jessnewb5315
    @jessnewb5315 5 лет назад +2216

    I love that his last words were “you’re strong”. Susan you rock

  • @SamuraiCrackZ
    @SamuraiCrackZ 4 года назад +728

    Susan: "you think im in danger? I AM THE DANGER"

  • @nhilz
    @nhilz 5 лет назад +3093

    "if you ever wonder what the face of a man ready to kill looks like, well this is it"
    this dude: 😬
    edit: it has come to my attention that being funny on youtube was a mistake. 2.8k likes and i keep getting notifications from people commenting the dumbest shit on this. my crops are dying and family disowned me.

  • @Mymzuu
    @Mymzuu 2 года назад +280

    Why is no one talking about the fact that slavemaster sold a baby to his own family of a woman he just killed, imagine the kid hearing about this. That must so heartbreaking 😭

    • @tweezersalad4075
      @tweezersalad4075 2 года назад +19

      People only talking about Susan smh

    • @gogatsukun6893
      @gogatsukun6893 2 года назад +21

      RIGHT? I thought i was the only one who noticed this

    • @TerraCipher
      @TerraCipher 2 года назад +33

      That was the part where I cried. First, because I got relieved that he didn't kill the baby, then because I realized there's little to no chance of that kid never finding out about this terrible truth.

    • @ayylmao575
      @ayylmao575 Год назад +20

      @@TerraCipher Fortunately, well also unfortunately, the kid DOES know, she’s still alive and she discovered what happened to her biological mother, now she wants to find the remains to give her a proper burial, her step parents didn’t know anything about this either and were just as torn up about it since they might have lost her thanks to their psychotic serial killer relative’s actions.

    • @rachels6808
      @rachels6808 Месяц назад

      TIMESUCK podcast just covered this guy, highly recommended a listen.

  • @Cybermat47
    @Cybermat47 4 года назад +6140

    “Tell me, and I’ll call you an ambulance!”
    “Your... husband... hired... me...”
    “Okay. You’re an ambulance.”

    • @mrs.dr.spencerreid3992
      @mrs.dr.spencerreid3992 4 года назад +36

      Cybermat47 - GOOD ONE!!

    • @Marybestia
      @Marybestia 4 года назад +10

      😅

    • @menosbbgirl
      @menosbbgirl 4 года назад +8

      Cybermat47 😹😹😹 nice.

    • @Junokaii
      @Junokaii 4 года назад +68

      "You're an ambulance *chokes harder* "

    • @yungthug2403
      @yungthug2403 4 года назад +8

      @@Junokaii "What?!? AHRFFHDFRFGNFGUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............hh......h....................."

  • @alexandriaking8544
    @alexandriaking8544 5 лет назад +3941

    “He used to take his pet lizard on walks with a leash..”
    I see nothing wrong with this. Totally normal.

    • @dhaddine5472
      @dhaddine5472 5 лет назад +123

      Alexandria KING
      I’ve taken my lizards on walks. Depends on the lizard, size, etc.

    • @dylansolorzano5077
      @dylansolorzano5077 5 лет назад +76

      I ve seen snakes being walk on a leash

    • @dhaddine5472
      @dhaddine5472 5 лет назад +29

      Dylan Solorzano
      That’s awesome! I’d like to know how that works, but it’s awesome nonetheless!

    • @dylansolorzano5077
      @dylansolorzano5077 5 лет назад +41

      @@dhaddine5472 ball pythons can be really docile, he wasn't in public obviously but he's a friend of mine so I just watched as he put a leash on the snake and let him free roam around his backyard (huge one) he did it mainly for the joke because you can let a ball python free roam in a backyard if you keep on our eye on it but nonetheless it was awesome

    • @MissChiefs420
      @MissChiefs420 5 лет назад +7

      @@dylansolorzano5077 I love bps they're super cute

  • @TheFunniBaconMan
    @TheFunniBaconMan 4 года назад +4685

    Susan's husband: *_Hires hitman to kill his ex-wife_*
    Susan: *_Strangles the hitman to death_*
    Susan's husband: _chuckle_ I'm in danger.

  • @warriorface3609
    @warriorface3609 2 года назад +365

    Jenny's facial reconstruction is actually kind of accurate. the eyes are almost spot on, and the mouth almost the exact same.

    • @Rieky22
      @Rieky22 2 года назад +18

      Nightmare fuel

    • @PLASBEZ
      @PLASBEZ 2 года назад +12

      They have a crime scene video about it where you could actually see the corpse of Jenny herself but it's blurred, the originals gotta be out there somewhere

    • @ollieVR970
      @ollieVR970 2 года назад +34

      @@PLASBEZ why would you want to see that?

    • @PLASBEZ
      @PLASBEZ 2 года назад +2

      @@ollieVR970 because im curious and want to get spooked

    • @grimspound7981
      @grimspound7981 Год назад +29

      @@PLASBEZ She was badly decomposed and unrecognisable. There are body farm videos on YT if you want to see something like that…
      Or just go to your local museum and see some mummified remains :P

  • @lancejensen9750
    @lancejensen9750 4 года назад +1784

    "He used to take his pet lizard for walks around town on a leash, wearing a long leather coat and sunglasses, regardless of the weather"
    Thats one cool lizard.

    • @Sanity851
      @Sanity851 3 года назад +29

      Lmfao

    • @k.morningstar7983
      @k.morningstar7983 3 года назад +128

      if he just painted instead of murdering, he could have been the next Salvadore Dali. but he chose to be trash

    • @karnerblue7658
      @karnerblue7658 3 года назад +11

      🦎 🕶 😎
      😆

    • @actuallyapathy
      @actuallyapathy 2 года назад +28

      it is a shame he was a bad person cos honestly otherwise that sounds cool as hell

    • @toxicperson8936
      @toxicperson8936 Год назад +15

      I can’t help but wonder what happened to the lizard after the man, rightfully so, went to prison. I hope someone was able to give the lizard a good home.

  • @clownteeth
    @clownteeth 5 лет назад +1856

    In case anyone is interested, Susan was on an episode of "I survived" (season 5 episode 2) where she tells the story in her own words

    • @unclewiley1986
      @unclewiley1986 5 лет назад +120

      Hear that? That’s the sound of me opening up Investigation Discovery

    • @windybishop
      @windybishop 5 лет назад +22

      Reuben Knight -Thank you! VERY interested to know this & will look it up to watch. Appreciate it!

    • @dimonddragon5546
      @dimonddragon5546 5 лет назад +8

      Bless you

    • @P9rkour90
      @P9rkour90 5 лет назад +12

      Susan died though

    • @Jeannette311
      @Jeannette311 5 лет назад +11

      Parker Dolan the other Susan

  • @Yasminh-
    @Yasminh- 5 лет назад +1987

    Its not good to read comments first. I really thought that Susan from the first story will get out there alive, but then she's been killed and I'm like WHAT? because of the comments lol..

    • @lilstardreamer_etsy1679
      @lilstardreamer_etsy1679 4 года назад +80

      same I was so confused

    • @midnighttsukky3459
      @midnighttsukky3459 4 года назад +10

      Lol same

    • @jorheine8063
      @jorheine8063 4 года назад +6

      same i was just hiding here

    • @DD-oi3vh
      @DD-oi3vh 4 года назад +53

      Me too- I was waiting for guy to say she wasn't actually dead and came back to kill the freak🤦‍♀️

    • @aaliyahstevenson2291
      @aaliyahstevenson2291 4 года назад +54

      Guys they meant the Susan at near the end of the video

  • @evie5375
    @evie5375 3 года назад +424

    breath play is no joke, even within the bdsm community it's acknowledged as one of the most dangerous kinks. that being said this guy wasn't doing "breath play" he was intentionally killing people. bdsm has to be "safe, sane, and consensual" otherwise that's assault, not bdsm.

    • @anyellyday
      @anyellyday Год назад +37

      Yeah, I got a bit of "victim blaming" from the host, here. "Why would anyone want to do this?" ...idk don't judge people?

    • @SimonPetrikov12
      @SimonPetrikov12 Год назад +21

      @@anyellyday yeah definitely got that vibe too are various points. Pretty ignorant

    • @fritzy3057
      @fritzy3057 Год назад

      How do you know!?

    • @fritzy3057
      @fritzy3057 Год назад

      @Mario FR BRO

    • @alexfc679
      @alexfc679 Год назад +3

      The no true scotsman argument lmao

  • @LamGorYun
    @LamGorYun 4 года назад +1511

    Hitman tries to kill susan
    Susan: YOu should've gone for the head
    Hitman: i did...

    • @yerinko8169
      @yerinko8169 4 года назад +11

      i would like but it's at 420 so

    • @gertrud8274
      @gertrud8274 3 года назад +2

      @@yerinko8169 like it now

    • @yerinko8169
      @yerinko8169 3 года назад +3

      @@gertrud8274 just did

    • @gertrud8274
      @gertrud8274 3 года назад

      @@yerinko8169 bless you

  • @SayderCascading
    @SayderCascading 6 лет назад +2247

    "What this guy didn't realize was that Susan Kuhnhausen...WAS A BADASS."

    • @mirza6399
      @mirza6399 5 лет назад +10

      I mean who wouldve guessed a woman was a badass , lol :p

    • @loll1265
      @loll1265 5 лет назад +30

      Dr.B Mirza ooo mate I’m gonna guess there’s gonna be a war for because of this soon...

    • @hotep360
      @hotep360 5 лет назад +34

      Dr.B Mirza yikes

    • @Komobear
      @Komobear 5 лет назад +2

      Read more I’m guessing they were being sarcastic

    • @filypa101
      @filypa101 5 лет назад +3

      Someone give her a bravery medal.

  • @jummygmv3194
    @jummygmv3194 5 лет назад +1525

    3% - other
    97% - I want Susan to be my mom

    • @Chris-dy1cb
      @Chris-dy1cb 5 лет назад +5

      JummyG MV pointing this out doesn’t differentiate you from the rest in any manner

    • @Chris-dy1cb
      @Chris-dy1cb 5 лет назад +3

      richard killface “hEy u sUrE aRE a SoYbOY”

    • @on723
      @on723 5 лет назад +1

      “97 perce-“
      Shut the fuck up

    • @carriepop1888
      @carriepop1888 4 года назад

      And therefore you wish a dead corpse to be your parental guardian

    • @carriepop1888
      @carriepop1888 4 года назад

      Not only do you need to stfu but so do the others

  • @shadowaccount123
    @shadowaccount123 Год назад +192

    Jenny Gamez’s case is so sad because I remember being a 19 y/o girl in 2013 meeting guys online. That could’ve been me.

    • @Aetheriem
      @Aetheriem Год назад +44

      She had a kind face too. Just looking at her photos I can tell she was a good soul. It's a shame what happened to her.

    • @wilts8965
      @wilts8965 Год назад +1

      Why on earth would you do that though? I never understand why anyone would be willing to trust a stranger

    • @marcello7941
      @marcello7941 Год назад +5

      1. Why needs a girl to find guys online in the first place?
      It is kinda understandable for guys but unless a girl is fcking ugly or completely isolated ( no friends, no party/social girl) , she always finds more than enough guys in real life. It is also very dangerous for girls.
      2. Why the hell would a 19 year old girl meet up and have sex with a 51 year old man? It is one thing if he was at least attractive but this guy looked like he was living on the streets. As if you couldnt find a much younger and more attractive one.
      Of course she didnt deserve what happened to her, but my pity for her is kinda limited.

    • @Inactive_06
      @Inactive_06 Год назад +16

      ​@@marcello7941 thats the most wildest comment ever, you dont know what she was going through personally?? Thats wild that your pity is "limited"

    • @sacabambasspis
      @sacabambasspis Год назад +4

      ​@@marcello7941bro, I am not ugly or isolated and I dont even have more that 4 male friends 💀

  • @nakoete8521
    @nakoete8521 5 лет назад +3972

    Susan; the only human that can defeat Thanos.

  • @Maxthekillbot
    @Maxthekillbot 6 лет назад +718

    Damn, I remember seeing the Crossbow Cannibal on the news when I was little. Jeez man that's just fucked. Also, that woman at the end is a badass, I remember reading an article about her that was titled something along the lines of, "Husband hires hit man to kill wife, she ends up killing the hitman with her bare hands".

    • @brookeconsole5719
      @brookeconsole5719 6 лет назад +44

      Badass old ladies are the most badass kinds of old ladies!

    • @johnhein2539
      @johnhein2539 6 лет назад +22

      When she got him in that headlock, I just couldn’t stop smiling!

    • @kellyalves756
      @kellyalves756 6 лет назад +20

      Practical Paranoia also, do not fuck with nurses! 👩‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️

    • @truedarkness4052
      @truedarkness4052 6 лет назад +4

      Joanna Wick is her name (not really)

    • @Maxthekillbot
      @Maxthekillbot 6 лет назад +1

      Omg Lazy Noticed me.

  • @cami3616
    @cami3616 4 года назад +3752

    Hitman enters Susan’s home:
    *GAMEMODE HAS BEEN CHANGED TO SURVIVAL*

    • @livewithme1109
      @livewithme1109 4 года назад +11

      Lmfaooooo

    • @youravggamer
      @youravggamer 4 года назад +32

      There was a pressure plate with a command block below it

    • @synestianinety
      @synestianinety 4 года назад +10

      PRESS THE SAVE BUTTON

    • @enderslot467
      @enderslot467 4 года назад +24

      Mission: Survive
      Details: you were hired to hunt but the target is much worse than you
      so you became the hunted.
      Rewards: Your life
      Failure: Death

    • @user-of3pg4zz6j
      @user-of3pg4zz6j 4 года назад +13

      Nah nah nah. It's been switch to adventure. And Susan's in modded creative.

  • @litete2512
    @litete2512 3 года назад +67

    Mike's hitman got killed, he's down about 50k, got jail time and died on Friday the 13th, 3 months from release, with cancer.
    That's bad luck to the definition.

  • @crabs4sale825
    @crabs4sale825 4 года назад +1104

    Jokes aside, what an incredible story with Susan. I'm so happy to hear that she was able to survive and the guilty got their justice. These stories don't often end well, but this was a great note to conclude your video with!

    • @cb-9938
      @cb-9938 Год назад +5

      Sad part is she had to strangle someone. Even in self defense killing someone isn't forget quickly. Most people feel guilt even if it was life or death. Strong woman

  • @Kai-qu6ch
    @Kai-qu6ch 6 лет назад +362

    "Or I'll smash you"
    Well
    I mean
    Buy me a drink first

  • @microbeeom430
    @microbeeom430 5 лет назад +1677

    Susan: "tell me who send you and I'll call you an ambulance"
    Hitman: "call Mike"
    Susan, leaning in as she proceeds to choke him to death: "you're an ambulance"

    • @BrokeNerfing
      @BrokeNerfing 5 лет назад +69

      I'm sad to say it took me a few seconds to get that 😆

    • @77SilentAssassin77
      @77SilentAssassin77 5 лет назад +5

      I don't get it..

    • @microbeeom430
      @microbeeom430 5 лет назад +69

      @@77SilentAssassin77 instead of calling him an actual ambulance (to save his life) she names him an ambulance (and kills him eventually), it's really just a silly pun :)

    • @TomF1180
      @TomF1180 5 лет назад +38

      I want to see this line in a kickass action movie!

    • @M.E.N.E.M.
      @M.E.N.E.M. 5 лет назад +7

      Son you re a genius

  • @markchalled3976
    @markchalled3976 4 года назад +48

    I never knew why the reconstructions looked so unlifelike. Thanks LM for helping me know more about how these unknown victims are recognized.

  • @Hierarkh
    @Hierarkh 4 года назад +571

    "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!" - Susan the Badass

  • @burritobear4954
    @burritobear4954 4 года назад +2504

    “Who would volunteer to travel the world with someone as their slave?”
    *nervously glances at Navy contract*

    • @jaiden494
      @jaiden494 4 года назад +76

      I JUST BUSTED OUT LAUGHING🤣🤣🤣

    • @GenXfrom75
      @GenXfrom75 4 года назад +17

      ahahahaha.... touche!

    • @roolenoir3183
      @roolenoir3183 4 года назад +30

      I breezed by this, then reversed!!! Lmao!!!!

    • @mmmichellenicole
      @mmmichellenicole 4 года назад +9

      Hahahhahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I spit out my water 🥴

    • @LTPottenger
      @LTPottenger 3 года назад +14

      Still beats a Sea Org billion year contract.

  • @kasenrin3
    @kasenrin3 6 лет назад +614

    Man that last woman was badassery personified. Good on her, fighting for her survival. I hope she's doing well now.

    • @Komobear
      @Komobear 5 лет назад +4

      She is! You can find her on the show “I Survived” season 5 episode 2 :D

    • @kate3808
      @kate3808 5 лет назад

      @@Komobear is it on Netflix?

    • @Komobear
      @Komobear 5 лет назад +1

      Kate N I don’t think so, sadly. But you can find the episode on RUclips. Right here ruclips.net/video/treWQV5KH3U/видео.html

  • @riri9087
    @riri9087 3 года назад +67

    _"Tell me and I'll call you an ambulance"_ watta a badass lady ! same energy with "Call an ambulance but not for me" meme 😂😂😂

  • @chuchorodriguez1893
    @chuchorodriguez1893 5 лет назад +577

    Use her “superior weight” ...... nice way to call someone fat 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @ilovefabricandflowers8543
      @ilovefabricandflowers8543 5 лет назад +59

      I'm too fat to kidnap too.

    • @Raeprim
      @Raeprim 5 лет назад +82

      She would kick your inferior ass.
      She's not fat, her weight is
      Superior.

    • @castaspellacrowley1751
      @castaspellacrowley1751 5 лет назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣 dying

    • @SaltyFloridian
      @SaltyFloridian 5 лет назад +25

      Sometimes being chonky comes in handy.

    • @PatilRoupelian
      @PatilRoupelian 5 лет назад +12

      And here my parents keep telling me to lose weight but worry about me moving out of state alone. Um hello no one is gonna attempt to kidnap this fatty so who's winning here? Me I'm winning....I'm the winner.

  • @bended6927
    @bended6927 5 лет назад +711

    U come across Susan fighting a bear in the woods ,you better get out there and help that bear 😂😂

    • @sarahb4356
      @sarahb4356 5 лет назад +58

      Do you have a death wish, you don’t pick the side that is against Susan if you want to live.

    • @LuLu.Leigh420
      @LuLu.Leigh420 5 лет назад +27

      The bear probably deserved it.

    • @heathertaylor1723
      @heathertaylor1723 5 лет назад +6

      This one made me seriously lol

    • @lemmythebulldog8812
      @lemmythebulldog8812 4 года назад +5

      I saw peter griffin kill yogi

  • @depressedfrenchfry5118
    @depressedfrenchfry5118 5 лет назад +1338

    Most powerful anime characters
    1.Susan
    2.Susan
    3.Susan
    4.Susan
    5.Susan
    6.Susan
    7.Susan
    8.Susan
    9.Susan
    10.Susan
    11.Susan
    12.Susan
    13.Susan
    14.Susan
    15.Susan
    16.Susan
    17.Susan
    18.Susan
    19.Susan
    And last but definitely not least
    20.Susan

    • @Chloe_2442
      @Chloe_2442 4 года назад +9

      Depressed French fry error, speedwagon is 20th

    • @acreativeaccountname
      @acreativeaccountname 4 года назад +24

      Eh I think Susan wasn’t that good, but Susan was WAY better

    • @TBH13579
      @TBH13579 4 года назад +16

      You forgot Susan

    • @kosuzuu
      @kosuzuu 4 года назад +12

      The most bet one was susan

    • @ava8016
      @ava8016 4 года назад +1

      Depressed French fry how long did it take you to make this?

  • @jomorkenstrseth3526
    @jomorkenstrseth3526 3 года назад +380

    I have been into bdsm since my teens. Predators try to hide in those places as well.. All we can do is educate everyone how to be safe and know predatorial behaviours. We had to deal with a lot of those over the years, practicing a persona non grata for those known predators at events and making sure people know to ask for referances when meeting new playmates. (Esay tip: If someone calls themself f.ex Slavemaster, Mr...this and that, Alpha, Dom or something similar.. They are probably a noob or maybe even a predator. Remember there are predators amongst the more practiced ones too)

    • @Lumos89
      @Lumos89 2 года назад +52

      i was going to comment that breath play is not dangerous, if done correctly but saw your comment and upvoted, coming from someone, active in bdsm community for 10 plus years

    • @chunkystickers
      @chunkystickers 2 года назад +12

      Yes! This!! Educating people on these things is so important

    • @kirillp.4630
      @kirillp.4630 2 года назад

      Degenerate

    • @seanambrose7051
      @seanambrose7051 2 года назад +10

      why tf yall into bdsm and how is it entertaining and so satisfying? What is wrong with you?

    • @eggsandyolks
      @eggsandyolks 2 года назад +46

      ​@@seanambrose7051 Everyone has their interests man. No one asked you to take part or anything. If you don't like it, keep it to yourself and move on. Harassing people is not cool

  • @Gaffer96
    @Gaffer96 4 года назад +818

    Why did his lizard wear a long leather coat and sunglasses??

    • @MinatheRaichu
      @MinatheRaichu 4 года назад +96

      Because he stylin

    • @neenzipan
      @neenzipan 4 года назад +7

      This is a MFM minisode.

    • @DeliriousSquid
      @DeliriousSquid 4 года назад +48

      Not gonna lie I laughed my fat ass off when he said he walked his pet lizard down the street on a leash 😂

    • @melanietoth1376
      @melanietoth1376 4 года назад +3

      That's what I heard as well, lol

    • @ghedebaronsamedi
      @ghedebaronsamedi 4 года назад +31

      Because it wasn't Griffiths walking his pet lizard, but the lizard walking its pet human...

  • @solohymbloodborne5406
    @solohymbloodborne5406 4 года назад +982

    That reconstruction of Jenny is my sleep paralysis demon

    • @beyondunreasonabledoubt1951
      @beyondunreasonabledoubt1951 4 года назад +8

      Solohym Bloodborne I know I don’t like it eugh

    • @Ahrone1586
      @Ahrone1586 4 года назад +56

      The other with the neck broken... is so scary man. I remember a page of disturbing images where they put a video with extremely loud sound with that woman, was late night in the bathroom

    • @Ahrone1586
      @Ahrone1586 4 года назад +4

      7:51

    • @GoldenWind5
      @GoldenWind5 4 года назад +6

      She looks like Jenny Humphrey from gossip girl

    • @jarrodedson5441
      @jarrodedson5441 4 года назад +6

      @@beyondunreasonabledoubt1951 yeah no neither do I.... Infact that horrifies me

  • @dcfanchris
    @dcfanchris 4 года назад +789

    Stephen’s laughing tape would be enough for me to go to the cops.That’s Joker-esque.

    • @zoe4299
      @zoe4299 4 года назад +36

      I think it's a recording. You can hear him clicking his mouse in the call, suggesting he was on a computer. It didn't sound like him at all.

    • @Luipaard005
      @Luipaard005 3 года назад +8

      Probably why he did it, he thought it made him sound tough.

    • @r.e.d.docena5957
      @r.e.d.docena5957 3 года назад +6

      IMO he did it better than Jared Leto.

    • @Rogue.Rainbow
      @Rogue.Rainbow 3 года назад +6

      Anyone can do better than Jared Leto

    • @benn7718
      @benn7718 2 года назад +2

      Yeah it’s very unsettling & chilling

  • @Nova-sg8ug
    @Nova-sg8ug 3 года назад +18

    My friend in school had an experience with a murder-suicide...her mother being the victim and her stepfather the murderer, it was horrible. Her mother's name was shelly harris nelson, her murderer, Jeff nelson. you can find article on it, my friend was the at the time five year old, it's horrible and disgusting what he did to her mother, as she now has to live with her aunt and uncle through the foster care system. I hope this can spread some awareness.

  • @wrestlingenjoyer
    @wrestlingenjoyer 4 года назад +2108

    i laughed so hard the "You're strong' sounds like one of those honorable anime villains 😂

    • @7kVestra
      @7kVestra 4 года назад +90

      He was on cocaine so he was more like *"Y oURe S tR oNg!!!"* with wide eyes.

    • @yeadontwearitout
      @yeadontwearitout 4 года назад +80

      Nah he muttered that in a meek, whimpering voice for sure as Susan was overpowering him

    • @cbs577
      @cbs577 4 года назад +1

      Hahaahaha!! 🤭🤭

    • @yumyum1002
      @yumyum1002 4 года назад

      Fr hahahahaha

    • @yumyum1002
      @yumyum1002 4 года назад +4

      DIO Brando Hahahaha DIO

  • @penpad5555
    @penpad5555 4 года назад +1001

    Haffey: Great, first job as a hit man. What can go wrong?
    Susan: I’m about to end this man’s whole career.

    • @mirrencorin
      @mirrencorin 4 года назад +6

      I breathed loudly through my nose reading this :D :D :D

    • @321wack
      @321wack 4 года назад +14

      *I’m about to end this man’s whole life

    • @p27ch
      @p27ch 4 года назад +6

      and his life!

  • @FairyBogFather
    @FairyBogFather 5 лет назад +361

    The second suitcase woman lived next to my grandmother. I hung out with her kids in the backyard when I was young! It was CRAZY to hear about.

  • @lilsempai
    @lilsempai 3 года назад +34

    The other Susan taking vengeance for the first. I stan

  • @dumbledink2434
    @dumbledink2434 6 лет назад +508

    The writing and presentation in this one is so spot on! Explains why Lazy's so good at reading other people's stories- he has a great affinity for storytelling.

    • @thatweirdgurl8118
      @thatweirdgurl8118 6 лет назад +5

      Who else's stories has he read other than the ones on his channel? ❤ 💞 Lazy's voice too n would like to here more! I'm just sad he doesn't produce videos regularly 😭

    • @dumbledink2434
      @dumbledink2434 6 лет назад +1

      I meant stories that other people have written, like subscriber submitted stories or stories from forums :) He does guest narrate on other people's channels too though if you want to hear more! Can't think of a lot of them off the top of my head but I know for sure he did one with Reignbot.
      I wish his videos came about a little more frequently too, but with quality like this I can't really complain :P

    • @shrill_2165
      @shrill_2165 6 лет назад +2

      He's good, but I think most horror narrators get set in the habit of using the exact same pattern of tones no matter the thing actually being said. He's better than most in this category though.

    • @dumbledink2434
      @dumbledink2434 6 лет назад +1

      Super true, I guess its just about finding the ones that you're comfortable listening to

    • @Dev-dn4uu
      @Dev-dn4uu 6 лет назад +2

      The ones I am comfortable listening to are Lazy Masquerade, Be Busta, Mr. nightmare and Let's Read. The others kinda have a "I don't do horror narrations" vibe in their voices. Idk if Chills narrates but I despise his voice so much.

  • @MrsJasmyn45
    @MrsJasmyn45 6 лет назад +961

    She has some great advice.. "If you can't run, and you can't hide, you have to fight."

    • @justjess-zl3pm
      @justjess-zl3pm 5 лет назад +20

      Thats not really advice is it? Its just facts.

    • @johnsavior2883
      @johnsavior2883 5 лет назад +14

      @@justjess-zl3pm forreal shit makes no sense, what else are you going to do if both options of hiding and running away are gone? coward in fear in a corner? the fuk

    • @mirahgirl01
      @mirahgirl01 5 лет назад +31

      Most do nothing and die... You're totally correct! Fear is a hell if a drug.. Adrenaline is just natural cocaine!

    • @foxhoundp9949
      @foxhoundp9949 5 лет назад +20

      @@johnsavior2883 to be honest it's shocking how often people actually just sit down and die or allow themselves to be taken I wish it was more common to fight but in many cases exspecily with women your often taught to not fight and you may survive so people do.
      In college we were forced to take a "self defense" class or else we would be kicked out, all they taught us to do was lay on the ground and scream... Ya know basically what an assaulter wants and if you've ever been in a big city you know screaming doesn't do a damn thing.

    • @artchic528
      @artchic528 5 лет назад +14

      @@foxhoundp9949 What kind of self defense class is that? More like hurry up and get killed class.

  • @robins.9700
    @robins.9700 4 года назад +601

    I think I saw Susan's story on "I survived." She's my hero and properly described as a bad ass

    • @carebear5465
      @carebear5465 4 года назад

      She isn’t dead?

    • @nicholaspetrizzo7357
      @nicholaspetrizzo7357 3 года назад

      Mate all she did was run and get he head shot.

    • @Slenderslayer351
      @Slenderslayer351 3 года назад +1

      @@nicholaspetrizzo7357 Her death ensured that no one else gets killed by him

    • @Zarinah
      @Zarinah 3 года назад +22

      @@Slenderslayer351 wrong Susan, the original comment was about the Susan in the 4th story who killed the hitman her husband hired to kill her. Definitely a badass.

    • @amazingnicole4847
      @amazingnicole4847 2 года назад +1

      @@carebear5465 23:06

  • @sophieholdsworth9240
    @sophieholdsworth9240 3 года назад +17

    Having grown up in Bradford, hearing about the crossbow cannibal again gave me a weird wave of unsettling nostalgia. I have forgotten about that whole story and tried to keep my distance from it as I was in very very early teens at the time and it wasn't exactly comforting to know that this kind of things was going on in a place I called my home.
    Having since moved away and grown up I had forgotten all about it, so it's interesting to know what really happened, even if it's still super uncomfortable to think about.

  • @uservenny84
    @uservenny84 5 лет назад +2042

    There should be a movie about Susan.

    • @Carol-D.1324
      @Carol-D.1324 5 лет назад +12

      v3nny
      THAT and THIS 🖕🏻

    • @brendanfoehr5086
      @brendanfoehr5086 5 лет назад +109

      Did anyone else notice that almost every woman in this video was named Susan, Suzanne, or Suzette?

    • @jokerjay6975
      @jokerjay6975 5 лет назад +24

      Hitchcock's - Dial M for Murder has a very similar plot as the Susan story.....although the film was made long before the incident. Maybe Susan could be in a much more badass remake version!

    • @SaintElmo8
      @SaintElmo8 5 лет назад +4

      @@jokerjay6975 oooh yeah i remember that really old movie, Dial M For Murder, I'd forgotten all about it.

    • @i_hate_twilight_sparkle
      @i_hate_twilight_sparkle 5 лет назад

      Which one?

  • @germantennesseean8438
    @germantennesseean8438 6 лет назад +409

    Susan is such a bad ass . I have very high respect for her . Not everyone manages to have such a incredible will to survive and has the strenght to over power their attacker .

    • @germantennesseean8438
      @germantennesseean8438 6 лет назад +4

      I thought about taking one as well

    • @raaston9761
      @raaston9761 6 лет назад

      I do I have enough that when someone shot me in the gut I pulled the bullet out and I used my finger covered in gauze after I sterilized both my finger and gauze to stop the bleeding

    • @chickenpermission2122
      @chickenpermission2122 6 лет назад +14

      adi yaf Fuck you

    • @BlackGirlLovesAnime6
      @BlackGirlLovesAnime6 6 лет назад

      really now..? lol

    • @zombi05
      @zombi05 5 лет назад +2

      @adi yaf You're a dumbass. You can't imagine being put in a situation like that.

  • @C03-T3
    @C03-T3 4 года назад +398

    "If you can't run and you can't hide, you have to fight." This was an unexpected upbeat end for the video, I'm glad Susan survived. Imagine her (ex)Husband hearing about it even before being caught.

    • @gregoriuspascalis500
      @gregoriuspascalis500 Год назад

      The easiest to be killed on the battlefield is the one who turn their back on you

    • @ChristianCarloLlobrera
      @ChristianCarloLlobrera Год назад +1

      Susan : "you're next and probably gonna be "ex-alive".

  • @laurahenriksen19
    @laurahenriksen19 2 года назад +17

    Susan's story is awesome inspiring. After all the horror, she survived. That is very encouraging 👏🏻

  • @rivaille5361
    @rivaille5361 4 года назад +572

    Hitman: set a foot in Susan's house
    *Objective updated: Survive*

  • @VerchielxKanda
    @VerchielxKanda 6 лет назад +580

    "What this guy didn't realize, is that Susan was a badass." is my favorite part! Susan's so awesome!! =D

    • @catnewskawai9367
      @catnewskawai9367 5 лет назад +3

      And ha ha, her husband didn't know how much of a badass she was.

    • @cracyzero777rat
      @cracyzero777rat 5 лет назад +8

      Never underestimate your opponent.

  • @spunttt._.
    @spunttt._. 4 года назад +1548

    "he confesesed to have murdered the 3 women"
    my mother: starts bursting out with laughter next to me because she saw something funny on her laptop

    • @kittykatrinrinnyloveshugst4913
      @kittykatrinrinnyloveshugst4913 4 года назад +54

      I was about to freak out before I read the whole comment lmaooo

    • @walsh9080
      @walsh9080 4 года назад +66

      I had a funny one with the Nexpo channel the other day. "When he confessed details of the grizzly murder he said... Discover Audible with a free audio book on us" Such a bad place for an advert haha

    • @Takinthehobbitstoisengard
      @Takinthehobbitstoisengard 4 года назад +40

      The "funny" thing on her laptop was probably a minion meme

    • @brandonhodges6010
      @brandonhodges6010 4 года назад +2

      @@walsh9080 i had that exact thing its so funny

    • @chip5892
      @chip5892 3 года назад

      That fool! He owned up to it!

  • @Nihilanth1982
    @Nihilanth1982 4 года назад +30

    Susan: YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!
    lol

  • @RaveBabyFuu
    @RaveBabyFuu 5 лет назад +352

    that lady at the end was BADASS though!
    cocaine is a hell of a drug and she faced someone who was raging on it.
    that old lady is my hero!

    • @sadie_cat
      @sadie_cat 4 года назад +1

      Not just crazy on coke, but he was a Vietnam vet

  • @sailor3583
    @sailor3583 4 года назад +115

    Mad respect for Susan. what a strong, powerful, and beautiful woman. She did not deserve that at all and I'm glad she got the justice she deserved and lived to tell it.❤️

  • @AutomHatter
    @AutomHatter 3 года назад +18

    Your videos never disappoint Lazy! I love your serious tone, with just a splash of comedic value. (And never in a disrespectful way to the victims) Thank you for making this fantastic content!

  • @CWM-xl8ki
    @CWM-xl8ki 4 года назад +2746

    Susan is a legend, definitely the anti-Karen we all need right now.

    • @aubreyshelton6331
      @aubreyshelton6331 3 года назад +19

      I can't wait until the guy who's JOKE started the whole KAREN thing ..is OVER!!!

    • @clarencetuurngait7628
      @clarencetuurngait7628 3 года назад +68

      @@aubreyshelton6331 okay karen

    • @blitzkrieg2928
      @blitzkrieg2928 3 года назад +27

      @@aubreyshelton6331 Would you like to speak to his manager ? :p

    • @zathtanks
      @zathtanks 3 года назад +7

      @@aubreyshelton6331 k karen!

    • @GyeongmiBaeb
      @GyeongmiBaeb 3 года назад +20

      @@aubreyshelton6331 me too..mainly because the people who use it all the time don't even know what a real Karen is

  • @fishtales4657
    @fishtales4657 5 лет назад +1592

    Plot twist: Susan is John Wick's mother

    • @dotonburi2232
      @dotonburi2232 5 лет назад +8

      YES!!! 😂😂😂

    • @ThatOneLeek
      @ThatOneLeek 5 лет назад +48

      No
      Susan is Chuck Norris's mother

    • @yourgaydad5490
      @yourgaydad5490 5 лет назад +1

      @@ThatOneLeek BAHAHAHA

    • @TruthNerds
      @TruthNerds 5 лет назад +47

      Susan is the mother of John Wick and Chuck Norris but threw them out of the house because she thought they were p***ies.

    • @downiemcsyndrome8067
      @downiemcsyndrome8067 5 лет назад +8

      John Wick and Chuck Norris had a baby together and the baby was Susan

  • @taliat1971
    @taliat1971 5 лет назад +721

    Any man that laughs like that guy is definitely a psychopath.

    • @MissChiefs420
      @MissChiefs420 5 лет назад +30

      I found his laugh more funny than disturbing

    • @qook1543
      @qook1543 5 лет назад +45

      Then I guess Elmo is a psychopath🤤

    • @AmandaVieiraMamaesouCult
      @AmandaVieiraMamaesouCult 5 лет назад +18

      and annoying

    • @theracoon8807
      @theracoon8807 5 лет назад +1

      @@MissChiefs420 I Acctualy laught like that when something is funny...Some of my Friends call me Elmo...😂😂

    • @anityyu
      @anityyu 5 лет назад +33

      nah he was trying too hard

  • @bananapanic4213
    @bananapanic4213 3 года назад +19

    I love that Susan!!!! She fought back and won. It’s so good to hear the ex-husband was found out. Long live Susan!

  • @smartzrandom7856
    @smartzrandom7856 5 лет назад +2011

    There are two susan in the vid guys.
    Thanks me later

  • @erikaromee
    @erikaromee 5 лет назад +1242

    the facial reconstructions deadass scared the hell out of me lmaoooo

    • @Hekeepblessingme
      @Hekeepblessingme 5 лет назад +18

      erikaxo same 😭

    • @erictruong324
      @erictruong324 5 лет назад +26

      I’m not gonna be able to sleep for a couple days

    • @fakecore9811
      @fakecore9811 5 лет назад +40

      SAME especially the one that stayed on screen for like a minute and i just looked away from the screen lmfao

    • @fz7091
      @fz7091 5 лет назад +10

      Spanky Sauce It happened to me. I became paranoid and addicted to the unidentified wikia.

    • @Gr47372
      @Gr47372 5 лет назад +32

      imagine being a kid watching the news and seeing that shit

  • @blacksabbitha
    @blacksabbitha 6 лет назад +684

    it’s weird how most serial killers either killed like 5 people or 100

    • @lastplace199
      @lastplace199 6 лет назад +94

      tabitha randklev If they're bad at it, they get caught quick. If not, they kill a lot of people.

    • @brookeconsole5719
      @brookeconsole5719 6 лет назад +90

      I'm gonna go ask my serial killer friend about why that is.

    • @shrill_2165
      @shrill_2165 6 лет назад +34

      Because most killers are caught after their first. Fewer are good enough to get past 3. And fewer still get caught past that point.

    • @sarawilkinson6766
      @sarawilkinson6766 6 лет назад +25

      I think there becomes a point where they get complacent. And eventually the thrill of killing becomes a thrill of maybe getting caught instead.

    • @SilentDarkAngel16
      @SilentDarkAngel16 6 лет назад +7

      "Serial" Killers tend to mean multiple so yes what you said is exactly the def of a serial killer

  • @blazedgoddess710
    @blazedgoddess710 2 года назад +15

    I absolutely love your channel I'm so shocked I just found you last year and you've been here so long! HIGH QUALITY stuff Lazy is literally JUST a name as you are anything but! Thank you for all your hard work and dedication AND keeping me company as I struggle through lupus and heart failure

  • @vanessacarlson606
    @vanessacarlson606 5 лет назад +766

    “If you’ve ever wondered what the face of a man about to kill looks like, that’s it”
    3:19
    Me when I run.

    • @kittykatrinrinnyloveshugst4913
      @kittykatrinrinnyloveshugst4913 4 года назад +14

      I cannot stop LAUGHING god dang it and that case is very sad tho

    • @lo0neyt0ons44
      @lo0neyt0ons44 4 года назад +1

      Mee

    • @2020girlygirl
      @2020girlygirl 4 года назад +4

      Kiara Kloss I did too and feel really guilty about it. I think it’s the narrator saying it, that made me laugh out loud tho.

    • @theblackryvius6613
      @theblackryvius6613 4 года назад +1

      Vanessa Carlson this dude looks like Nick Kroll in this image

    • @neogold4796
      @neogold4796 4 года назад +1

      This looks like any dad or crazy in any reality tv show when they get mad or exposed.

  • @adueso3287
    @adueso3287 4 года назад +247

    17:17 Susan’s story if u r confused lol

    • @Josh-pl9kl
      @Josh-pl9kl 4 года назад +40

      adueso thanks I was confused cuz there was another Susan at first lol

    • @abhishek3667
      @abhishek3667 4 года назад +5

      @@Josh-pl9kl lol same.

    • @jamasa007
      @jamasa007 Год назад +1

      Susan looks like a female elon musk

  • @catdragon404
    @catdragon404 5 лет назад +810

    me: this probably ain’t even gonna scare me
    the video: *n u m b e r o n e*
    me: :O

    • @catdragon404
      @catdragon404 4 года назад +2

      thot destroyer 9000 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH yeah

    • @alexpearson9615
      @alexpearson9615 4 года назад +3

      numbe rone

    • @thighhighsenpaioof7423
      @thighhighsenpaioof7423 4 года назад +1

      Oneophibia, a phobia that makes people scared of the number one

    • @yuckciera
      @yuckciera 4 года назад

      THATS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST DID HAHAHA

    • @dadae_pig3465
      @dadae_pig3465 4 года назад

      @@thighhighsenpaioof7423 that's a thing?😭

  • @carmensavu5122
    @carmensavu5122 4 года назад +36

    Moral of the last story: when your ex moves out, change all the alarm codes and the keys.

  • @jalepenopvp2300
    @jalepenopvp2300 5 лет назад +416

    SUSAN IS IN CREATIVE MODE

    • @ohoh5438
      @ohoh5438 5 лет назад +6

      Isaac Stop I CACKLED
      boy that was a good laugh its been a while lol

    • @aga3852
      @aga3852 4 года назад +1

      Oh God no-!

  • @hankhill4101
    @hankhill4101 5 лет назад +1441

    *Susan has joined the chat*
    *Haffey has left the chat*
    *Mike has left the chat*
    *Chuck Norris has left the chat*

    • @patriciaroysdon9540
      @patriciaroysdon9540 5 лет назад +5

      Susan rocks chat.

    • @SaintElmo8
      @SaintElmo8 5 лет назад +1

      Shit i thought he was saying happy... its haffy? Lol

    • @jojifox834
      @jojifox834 5 лет назад +11

      *jackie Chan is typing* ...

    • @windybishop
      @windybishop 5 лет назад

      Hank Hill - LOVE THIS! 😆😆😂😂🤣🤣

    • @waycnf7229
      @waycnf7229 5 лет назад +6

      Bruce Lee joined the chat

  • @yui-hb8ys
    @yui-hb8ys 4 года назад +674

    susan said *”vibe check”*

    • @metravis4077
      @metravis4077 3 года назад

      Wat

    • @jazfraz6099
      @jazfraz6099 3 года назад +7

      he failed the check

    • @Xdqer.Yxw0
      @Xdqer.Yxw0 3 года назад

      Erm... hello choice?

    • @5to122
      @5to122 3 года назад

      This was the worst Susan comment I've read. No funny joke detected

    • @Xdqer.Yxw0
      @Xdqer.Yxw0 3 года назад

      @@5to122 I found it funny babes. Maybe ur sense of humour is just dry or we may all just have different tastes... as humans tend to have.

  • @diaryofseresha
    @diaryofseresha 2 года назад +7

    Weird fact: Lazy masquerade's voice the only one that help me fall asleep so fast. He has really calming voice combined with best creepy dark topics

  • @inertiafinder5160
    @inertiafinder5160 4 года назад +477

    Oh, you didn't know? The plot twist?
    That Susan IS Hitman.

    • @The_Custos
      @The_Custos 4 года назад +14

      Susan: "You are like a small puppy. So young and weak."

    • @lilianflower3017
      @lilianflower3017 4 года назад +2

      Hitwoman or I prefer hit lady. Susan

    • @luisf2793
      @luisf2793 4 года назад

      Now am imagining her taking out a wig

  • @mommysatan6778
    @mommysatan6778 4 года назад +316

    why does "slavemaster" sound exactly like what Onision does..

    • @LooDoesStuff
      @LooDoesStuff 4 года назад +3

      oof

    • @habibishapur
      @habibishapur 3 года назад +13

      why tf do womem agree to meet a random guy called "slavemaster" while convinced hes a handsome millionaire. seriously at that point i feel no pity. how stupid can someone be

    • @Googilius
      @Googilius 3 года назад +41

      @@habibishapur Dawg they didn’t know, it doesn’t matter if it was obvious, whenever you want to meet someone in the moment, you don’t realize you’re in danger until it happens.

    • @squidwardtortillini8816
      @squidwardtortillini8816 3 года назад

      @@Googilius
      You can use your fucking head and not make bad decisions.

    • @kittikattt
      @kittikattt 3 года назад +10

      @@squidwardtortillini8816 everyone makes bad decisions, u can't avoid em squidward :c

  • @JudgeDrey
    @JudgeDrey 2 года назад +83

    Susan, God bless you. You're an inspiration for women to fight back against the vile scum that plague women everywhere.
    I can't help but be reminded of my own beloved wife may she rest in peace. She would have been the same type of woman who would have given any man a hell of a fight God forbid if she were to have come across someone like that.
    I miss you so much Lori, my soulmate! 💔

    • @lilywhite7456
      @lilywhite7456 2 года назад +4

      Im sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing what you wrote. I hope you are doing as well as possible. It must be devastating to lose one's long-term partner. RIP Lori 💙

    • @aaronthekidofficial9912
      @aaronthekidofficial9912 5 месяцев назад +1

      I'm sorry for your loss, but what you wrote was beautiful. Thanks for sharing something so heavy, but so touching. I hope you're doing well, and I hope Lori is enjoying Paradise.

    • @JudgeDrey
      @JudgeDrey 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@aaronthekidofficial9912 Thank you. I am doing ok. One day at a time.
      ❤‍🩹

    • @aaronthekidofficial9912
      @aaronthekidofficial9912 5 месяцев назад +1

      I'm glad you're getting through it. Be proud of yourself. You were able to pick yourself back up, which is something amazing.
      @@JudgeDrey 👍

    • @JudgeDrey
      @JudgeDrey 5 месяцев назад

      @@aaronthekidofficial9912
      Yeah. God Bless.

  • @graveescapes
    @graveescapes 5 лет назад +181

    DAMN SUSAN GOOD FOR YOU!!!! THAT'S AMAZING I HOPE SHE'S ALIVE AND HEALTHY AND LIVING HER BEST LIFE

  • @DarkSorcerer13
    @DarkSorcerer13 6 лет назад +230

    Damn Susan, what a legend

  • @wompwomp2977
    @wompwomp2977 4 года назад +278

    The suitcase body image was terrifying

    • @jarrodedson5441
      @jarrodedson5441 4 года назад +20

      Well no shit in fact that thumbnail of this video is enough to keep me away from this video

    • @imtoostonedtocomeupwithaus5976
      @imtoostonedtocomeupwithaus5976 4 года назад +20

      Jarrod Edson and yet...
      Here you are

    • @cxarhomell5867
      @cxarhomell5867 4 года назад +4

      @@imtoostonedtocomeupwithaus5976 same, and its bas bruh

  • @fionamacdonald3904
    @fionamacdonald3904 3 года назад +91

    Poor Jenny! I have no idea how anyone could link that picture of an alien with someone who was so beautiful in life!?

    • @user-qo9is7sh2i
      @user-qo9is7sh2i 2 года назад +28

      She was drawn badly decomposed, because they thought that if she was dead she would be found like that.

    • @dondog3123
      @dondog3123 2 года назад +4

      @@user-qo9is7sh2i yea i think like 3 stage of decomposition

    • @ghostly1225
      @ghostly1225 2 года назад +3

      It's kinda easy, while the drawing looks messed up it vaguely looks like her

    • @BanJunky
      @BanJunky 2 года назад +4

      @@ghostly1225 only the mouth does

    • @ghostly1225
      @ghostly1225 2 года назад +2

      @@BanJunky perhaps, though i think the eyes as well, just a little

  • @radinan
    @radinan 5 лет назад +828

    Someone : you can't survive this
    Susan : hold my needlepoint napkin

  • @sonadowfangirl30869
    @sonadowfangirl30869 4 года назад +180

    At the Suitcase Body section of the video, I can actually see the resemblance between the artist's picture and Jenny. The teeth, the cheek bones, and eyes are the biggest giveaways.

    • @melanielanphier
      @melanielanphier 3 года назад +17

      I can see it. That's why they accentuate those kind of traits.

    • @nuancedproductions3548
      @nuancedproductions3548 3 года назад +9

      @@melanielanphier honestly it's fucking creepy how it looks almost like her if someone had posed her corpse.

    • @neru1584
      @neru1584 3 года назад +17

      @@nuancedproductions3548 Lmao looks like some sort of walten files character even

    • @alejandravelascobarboza1167
      @alejandravelascobarboza1167 2 года назад +12

      Well, when your reference is a heavily decomposed body you only have so much to work with... bones

  • @hollyinhell
    @hollyinhell 4 года назад +107

    "yes officer it was that man over there, that's the man who stole my sex toys!"

  • @jamasa007
    @jamasa007 Год назад +7

    5:29 "I'm not gonna go away, so I guess you better. *Maniacal laughter* "
    He told the worst joke anyone has ever said and laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard

  • @des1528
    @des1528 6 лет назад +385

    Damn Susan’s a baddie

    • @moo9561
      @moo9561 6 лет назад

      Ya boi Is JUNGSHOOK JUNGSKOOK

    • @moo9561
      @moo9561 6 лет назад

      Ya boi Is JUNGSHOOK -@-@-@-@-&-&-&-&-@-@-@-@@@-@-@-@

  • @lordscott7552
    @lordscott7552 6 лет назад +1286

    Return the slaab or suffer my curse!

    • @kuramayoko23
      @kuramayoko23 6 лет назад +29

      Smash the liiike button or I'll smash youuuu!

    • @Lucidfilth
      @Lucidfilth 6 лет назад +4

      Lord Scott But ramasis.. Can I use it a little more?

    • @lordscott7552
      @lordscott7552 6 лет назад +22

      RAMSIS. THE MAN IN GAUZE THE MAN IN GAUZE

    • @Lucidfilth
      @Lucidfilth 6 лет назад +3

      Lord Scott Fiinne. Have the a slab. Sigh. Its hard having fun in nowhere. 😥

    • @rachelwesley2045
      @rachelwesley2045 6 лет назад +33

      What's your offer???

  • @sarenap1409
    @sarenap1409 6 лет назад +194

    What a brave and amazing woman! She definitely proves that if you have it in you, you can certainly fight back!

    • @starlitdream1749
      @starlitdream1749 6 лет назад +7

      Rifles First where the hell did you get that? No source I could find claimed she was dead.

    • @Pariroach
      @Pariroach 6 лет назад +8

      +Rifles First The Susan in the fourth story that killed her attacker? You're thinking of the wrong Susan.

    • @jacyaug
      @jacyaug 6 лет назад

      She lived due to luck. Nothing else.

    • @g1ng3rsn4ps
      @g1ng3rsn4ps 6 лет назад +3

      @@jacyaug You're a fucking idiot. Luck in shit like this doesn't exist. Every choice you make within the microcosm of an experience like that makes a difference. Have you ever survived a murder? Most have not.
      Her actions, adrenaline surge, and will to fight definitely played a part in survival rather than just lying down doing nothing. If you think shit like that is pure luck there's a lot of survival stories and metrics on the art and anatomy of survival in life threatening situations you are clearly ignorant of.

    • @kirylovk9278
      @kirylovk9278 6 лет назад

      @@jacyaug "luck" against a Vietnam Veteran!?!? Luck is obviously a part, but a little part!
      Huge respect for Susan 🙏 What a Woman!!!!

  • @ACustodian
    @ACustodian Год назад +6

    Walking my dogs out by the forest behind my apartments and seeing Jenny's recreation is an unnerving duo.

  • @kellylewisfischer181
    @kellylewisfischer181 6 лет назад +263

    Susan is a B.A.M.F.! Such an incredible story of her absolute will to survive!