A Parent with Mental Illness Can Affect a Child Custody Decision
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
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The mental health of a parent can affect a child custody decision so it is very important to take steps to evaluate and make an accurate assessment.*
Please read the Disclaimer below:
*This video recording is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as the rendering of legal advice. The viewing of this recording does not create an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is only formed when you have signed an engagement agreement. We cannot guarantee results. Past results do not guarantee future results. Consult with a licensed attorney for information regarding the specifics of your case.
Today I want to talk about mental health and how it comes into play in your child custody case, whether it be parenting time or decision making regarding joint or sole custody. One of the factors a judge looks at when making a decision about the best interests of the child is the mental, emotional and physical health of all of the parties including both parents and the child.
What I see in these cases is either one parent blowing the condition way out of proportion or not taking the mental health condition seriously as they should. This is hard to gauge if you are not a mental health professional. Even I as an attorney has trouble determining whether the parent has a mental condition or not.
The best way to provide evidence of a mental health issue is to get a hold of the medical records of the person who may be suffering from this. Depending on what state you live in, there are various ways to obtain these records. The way I get the documents is to ask the other party to sign a medical release (HIPAA). Then I send those releases out to the doctors.
Once I receive the records I look for any mental health issues or any medications they may be using to treat this. I also look at the length of time the person has been treated. I also look at the proposed treatment and if the person is following it.
Since as a custody lawyer, I am not in a position to make an evaluation of the diagnosis in some situations you may have to hire a nurse practicenor or even a doctor or psychiatrist to testify at the custody hearing and to make an assessment of the condition. Although it does cost money to hire a mental health evaluator your custody court case, it is very important for the sake of the child and when the judges decide on your custody case it be in the best interest of the child.
Furthermore, just because a parent is diagnosed with a mental health issue it does not mean that they are not fit to be a parent.
So again, the first step in determining these things is to obtain the medical records of the party.
Wendy Hernandez is a family law attorney in Phoenix, AZ and founder of Command the Courtroom which teaches you how to handle yourself in court and achieve the best outcome when representing yourself in your divorce or child custody case.
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What is we refuse to sign a HIPPA release? The kids dad NEEDS mental help himself but his Narcissistic behavior makes him 'above' getting help or therapy. He believes he can think or do no wrong. He has such a good "faux" personality in the public perception yet a completely awful spouse and father. Yet he has everyone that matters convinced he is such a perfect husband and father! OMG, I'm so scared to file yet if I don't I seriously might lose my mind. He is the reason I take depression meds. I know my life and health would be so much better if I could go thru with a divorce. But I'm so afraid to lose my children, so I've put off filing 10 yrs straight.
This sounds like my wife...I will say this, I believe it is you with the problem. BE HONEST.
I'm in the same exact boat as you and to add insult to injury, hes a police officer so he walks around like he is perfect and unfortunately too many people believe him. He of course would never admit he has any issues to be resolved, yet bc I'm the one who's very open and honest about my depression, which he exasturbated, they are able to paint me as this horrible mother who literally cannot think for herself much less take care of her kids when the reality is that even when he and I were still a couple, I did EVERYTHING for those kids and still do. Smh it's a sad world when the "justice" system rewards narcissistic liars......so what's it all for anyway then???
As an adult who survived a mentally ill parent and now works around the legal system, these issues should be looked at one-by-one and examined carefully and respectfully in court. It should impact a custody case -- but that doesn't mean it should be overblown or under-blown. Some parents will do great, others have no business holding custody. Attorneys have an important role in keeping these cases calm and fair to everybody. While attorneys have the obligation to represent their client, they also have a responsibility to the court. And they aren't providing competent representation by handling health issues as anything other than that -- health issues. Worthy of exploration, but not exploitation.
Not every person who suffers from mental illness is a bad or unfit parent. I am a single mother who have been mother and father to my daughter because her father to this day lives with his family he has not grown up and he is over age 40 years old. Our daughter who is now a wonderful woman now at age 20. Her father knew I was mentally ill and I begged him to ware condoms and he said no. So I decided to became Mother and father to my child when I got pregnant by him. Because he has never wanted to be a parent I tried her whole life for her to have her Dad in her life. But he just didn't want the parental respondsibility of helping me guide and teach and care for OUR daughter. Please Society remember this please 😔
Not every Mental illness person is a danger. That is a very horrible Stigma of society!
Hello,I have depression,anxiety and other related mental illness.my ex uses this against me in our child custody battle case.all probably to get my daughter to hate me and to not want to be around me.your comment meant a lot to me.its making my day a little better.i hope your situation gets better.hugs
I have mental illness but have had success and law support so I'm confident in all my inquires about situations about such cases thank you and want success for people who check their best!!!!
Why will they not look at the mothers d.v history ,or drug abuse history , and prior suicide attempts , overdose and child neglect thats documented , a very lengthy list as well , they seem to focus on the fact that prior to the child being born,father that hasnt had any prior issues , any convictions or use of drugs , goes out to his garage and works on his cars , this seems one sided , all of this is pretty shady
I was diagnosed with depression at 7 years old. I've been off meds 3 years ago cause I can't afford to see doctors. But I'm doing my best to fight it. As a single mom. I hate depression I wish I didn't have it. : (. Thanks for your video very helpful. I do get worried that I'm not a fit mom cause of my mental illness.
The fact that you know you have an illness and are trying puts you lightyears ahead of many if not most mentally ill parents.
Federal health care has options for all income brackets
My ex is a diagnosed bipolar with history of self mutilation and is no longer on her meds but uses cannabis because she says it helps her. Her last episode was last December and she can become really distant and goes into her lows or highs. In my experience with her its like looking into a 1000 yard stare. Can this be used as an argument as her being unfit? In the years we were together she was pretty much unavailable because she was in these different mindsets.
I'm going through this right now my ex has tempary custody I'm fighting and have mental illnesses but am a great mom you have given so much advise thanks thanks thanks
Michaela Woolridge hope all is well!
I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I know this was a year ago but I’m praying things got better.
Thank you for this video. Great advice.
My husband is totally mental, but he doesn't get help. Yet he makes everything think I am mental. Only mental in a way because I live with him. He could make any spouse mental. He refuses marriage counseling or any kind of counseling due to his narcissistic behavior.
Michaela I hope all went well with you last year, but this year I'm going thru what you went thru. I have not seen my babies since February.
Michaela Woolridge
This world has Mental Health issues...you alright girl
How could I request a psychological evaluation? I filed a motion but never received a response and my ex-lawyer told me that they wouldn't grant it unless he was doing something over the top crazy, recently. Even though DOR has dropped his child support case due to him receiving SSI for being "permanently disabled"
do you have to sign these consent forms if the motion is made by child protection, who is blowing things out of proportion after a hospitalization. /I think these records can and would be used to exploit me when upon release the hospital said I was not a danger to anyone. My psych says the same.
Hello Wendy- what if the opposing party will not sign a HIPPA release?
Then they get mandated to do so or contempt of court. They jail them until they are signed.
I'm fighting this right now. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back around 2007-2008. I was also dating someone who was extremely abusive at the time. all the bipolar medicine I took (I tried alot) only made my bipolar symptoms worse. so when I left my abuser and I stopped taking the medicine everything was fine until now. I'm in a custody battle and my husband is using the bipolar diagnosis against me. I've been through hell. I started back going to the psychiatrist and started back on the medicine. again it made me start to feel overwhelmed so I stopped taking via doctor's orders, my husband and the guardian ad litem made a huge issue with that and both want me back on taking it (though I had a discussion with my husband before the divorce ever started about the meds having an opposite effect). I had a doctor come to court and testify that she believes that my bipolar was a misdiagnosis due to the abuse I was going through at the time can have similar symptoms as bipolar and I have shown no signs of bipolar during our visits. my husband hit me the last night I stayed in the same house as him. though I didn't call the police I have a pic of the bruise taken by my stepfather who is law enforcement the next day and my daughter heard it when it happened and testified I had another character witness that was once my husband's friend but distanced himself from my husband due to odd behavior that made this guy uncomfortable. I have all of this and my husband is now dating a woman that lost her own children in a custody battle and he admitted to this in court but she babysits our daughter on the weekends when he has her. my husband was the only person that testified on his behalf in court. he had no other witnesses because he lives a lie with everyone he knows and all he has is a bunch of false accusations like I bear him up (he's 6'2 and in the army reserves) and i was abusing drugs (I was breastfeeding and the only thing I took was advil or whatever the dr recommend) and he has my past diagnosis. I'm scared though because the guardian ad litem seems to have something against me. maybe it's the bipolar issue but he has totally ignored my doctor's testimony, the time he hit me, and my witnesses. he doesn't believe my doctor because the doctor was hired by me therefore she's going to jeopardize her profession and lie for me in court (I guess for the few hundred dollars I had to pay her to go to court with me). he said my witnesses testimony held no weight because they were "self-serving and far-fetched that he didn't believe it. he even said that I refused to take my bipolar medicine and I refused to receive treatment by a doctor of psychiatry though the doctor told me to stop taking the meds and one of my doctors (psychologist) was in court and he had also called the place where I was seeing a psychiatrist and talked to my therapist. I don't think my therapist would have anything bad to say about me. it scares me to death because the guardian ad litem has already put in his opinion that my husband should have custody of our daughter. I've never done anything to harm or put her or my other daughter in harm's way. I don't feel like I'm having fair judgement. it feels pretty one sided and I hear that the judge usually goes what the guardian ad litem's opinion and I feel like there's nothing I can do to change his opinion. I feel helpless. and my husband is the controlling type. she's not in a healthy place with him. but this post is long enough so I won't go there. I know most people say it's not fair when things don't go their way but in this case "not fair" is an understatements. when he hit me I was holding our baby and he came close to hitting her.
wow that was long!
I had a restraining order on my sons father and he has a long history of mental health including multiple suicide attempt. My son is saying he's scared of his dad and does not want to see his dad. We have no custody agreement in order so for the well being of my son I'm keeping him away from him. What are my chances of getting sole custody?
Pre assumed neglect,because I have ptsd,ocd,51a on me,it's wrong and unfair, been getting help for my illness, however, more and more trama,never ends,mother,grandma of child hate my guts,and dcf,harsh in dealing with me,saying I need supervised visits by grandmother that hates my guts,and said she will say I'm verbally abusive,I'm waiting till court,to get my visits,this is discrimination.
How do you convince the spouse to sign a release/consent form to get their medical records? If they don't voluntarily provide one, what are your options?
Maybe sometimes people who call you crazy in a mean way will try to drive you crazy just to be right.
There was another of her videos that was maybe more about acting mentally ill. I respect all opinions on this because it's such a dramatic topic. And I think she made a good point. Staggering may be the rewards for resisting the temptation to flip out.
What if my ex uses my mental illness against me,makes fun of me for it? Can I do anything about it?
What happens when the person with mental health issues refuse to sign a Hippa form? When he has a prior DV case where sexual abuse as well as physical and psychological abuse were present as well as drug and gambling addiction and now I am in court for the same reasons and they keep granting him more unsupervised visits with my son? This is my dilemma for over a year in court and still he will be granted overnight weekend time with my son to a home where he lives with his wife whom he had the afore mentioned DV case and she is a schizophrenic? I just don't understand how he is allowed to be around my son.
How can i prove mother is unfit to care for a 4 month old. We had out Daughter almost 4 months ago. She s been arrested for DV hit her mom. Did all courts asked her to. She once wouldn't let me leave my residence and pushed me back not allowing me to leave. I filled a report nothing was done due to no marks or witnesses. Shes verbably abusive and threatens that if i leave her she will leave with my child. I took all her crap so i could be in my Childs life. Didnt care to live a miserable life as long as i got to see my daughter andbhave her with me. This person cant be with just one person. Is a cheater and i didnt want my daughter to be left who knows where while she does her stuff. She isna controlling and jealous person. I have an 11 year old son who she so much hates. She tried to attack him once. Now i finally had enough and she did as she said she would. She left with my Baby to another state. How can i go on to prove she is unfit or does all that even qualify to be determined shes unfit? Thank you so much in advance.
Well my ex has pyhisal custody he keeps on doing over the top craziness and is mentally unstable can I ask the judge to test him
Absolutely!
LIABILITY is why the system does not want to talk about one or the other having mental illness issues. The system will throw your family under the bus to avoid any discussing on exactly this. They do not want to rule on Children when mental illness plays a part.....................Anyone want to help write my book on this topic?? contact me
lamont_23@hotmail.com and documentary
How can you make a spouse take an evaluation to see if they are mentally unstable?
Having a lot of problems in my marriage when it’s all my job to do everything I just want out
Who can help me out I have temporary gardenship for Nephew mom stated to me she didn't want them anymore now dad wants to get in and say I can't talk to mom.. now what do I do to fight for full gardenship
I have proof of neglect
My wife has and is diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Throughout the marriage she mistreated me and controlled me to alleviate her anxieties and told me what I could and couldn't do. She had all kinds of kookie fears like I can't be trusted to take the kids to the pool because "a friends husband took her kids to the pool and one drowned but the lifeguard brought him back" so therefore I am going to not trust you.... She set so many rules and stated she "couldn't trust me" which pissed me off because the Army gave me a Secret Security Clearance and decision making choices in Iraq about routing convoys with Billions of dollars of equipment and Multiple lives! My Cousin was like "she has a dark tale for everything" she also is an RN who tried to act as my "social worker" as she is obsessed with counselling and a shrink at the VA told me your wife was wrong to do that as she was to close to the issue plus it wasn't what you wanted or needed at that time.
She is actually projecting her anxiety disorder onto the kids.
In court her lawyer constantly says I have an anger problem (it's not anger it's frustration with the system) based of "her beliefs" and my idiot lawyer instead of saying my client has no problem instead confirmed it by saying "of course he is angry he is going through a divorce" but not stating what my wife said to elicit responses or anything else such as my wife's opinion is just that an opinion.
My lawyer did not command the court room I felt sick everytime I went in. My wife violated the coparenting agreement yet former attorney FAILED to file contempt of court and instead emails wife's attorney. Wife's attorney agrees it is a violation but says wife did not understand even though she is smarter than me supposedly. My Attorney refused to file contempt charges because "your kids need therepy, and the judge will see you filing this as anti therepy" um NO that's still contemptuous behaviour that the judge needs to be aware of ASAP because what else is she doing?
When I spoke with therepists they thought I was out of the picture.
Precisely why contempt needed to be brought to the table.
This is rubbish.. my ex husband was physically abusing my daughter. He has a list long of mental health issues, he has attempted to take his own life a number of times. I’m managed to maintain supervised contact visitation fir the past 2 years. Now the recommendation is that he spend time with the children unsupervised.. how is this logical?? What ever happen to ‘what’s in the best interest of the children?’
Great video
My ex lied about my mental health issues to doctors and I was falsely diagnosed he used it against me in court to get custody and my lawyer didn't care that he was abusive because they were so focused on his lies. But now I have proof he lied because he was jealous of me leaving for another man and I intend to sue hospital as well as go back for custody.
What if the person won't sign the Hippa release
Bm isn't going to give up any information. How do I go about getting her information from Greer stay in a mental institution plus background on her heroin abuse?
What kind of psych doctor do I go to to get a new evaluation from a psych that is not working with them
Does an alleged non verbal learning disability cause problems with taking care of a baby?
How about if i am koo koo and the Mom is a Crazy .....
And we both think that we are normal...but we can't tell because all our co- workers are insane and our family members have lost their mind...
You know what i mean jelly bean?
how do we contact you
Also dcpp psych Dr won't give me those papers
What can be done about a mean father's girlfriend whose mean to my daughter when he's not home. they live together
My question would be in regards to mental illness and religion and religious Dogma. My ex-wife is in a cult called The World Mission Society Church of God well known for family alienation and parental alienation in fact they're alienated from the rest of the world. This is your classic Korean doomsday Moonie cult. How do I argue the stability of the mother's mental Bean along with her debilitating migraines and her actions over the last six years of Parental alienation using the children as tools killing their heads full of just nonsense. Literally this is a doomsday cult so she's not planning a future for the children so their school suffers their medical. Been going on for 6 years I've been telling the court and nothing has changed but yet you can't argue the church is the problem although it may be her reasoning. How do I separate the two in the judges eyes or within the court and how do I tie that to her behavior with all these crazy allegations she's been making over the years. I thought I was through this all already but we have a new judge that took over and seems like the petitioner went back to square one with all the lies and everything else she's been doing. Why should I have to prove myself to the court again because the judge that was not tolerating it anymore there's no longer in the court and the new judges just taking it Hook Line & Sinker. I shouldn't have to discredit the petitioner as a pathetic liar for the second time
My wife has got a mental illness from past sexual abuse, I am in desperate need to get the kids from her. She is very damaging to them, and she has not been diagnosed yet or given any medication. So, I am getting everything suicidal thoughts now, anger, rage, cussing, lying, mistreatment, abuse she goes on to try and twist it back onto me to say i am those things. She has not been working, etc. Hippa release everyone... I have had enough...
you need to get release to talk to THErapist