I live in Korea and my husband is Korean. We started living together after getting married so I definitely discovered some new things about him that way. Some things you mentioned in the videos were true for him. For example, everytime he didn't know something, he would call his mom. He also didn't know how to manage his money because his mom did it for him before. Luckily, compared to others in general, he was already quite indépendant because he lived in Australia alone as an exchange student. We watched a lot of financial content together and now he loves to be responsible with his money. He's always open to self improvement and I´m grateful for it.
I've been living in Korea for over 7 years and everything you've said in your video was spot-on. I've heard (and read) about soo many non-koreans who have married Koreans and experienced this exact same thing with their spouse and in-laws. Once (during my 2nd year here) I went out to dinner with 2 Korean coworkers (one in her 30s and the other in her 40's). They both lived with their parents at the time and they were surprised to hear that I'd moved out of my parents' home for university and had spent 9 out of the last 11 years (by that time) living on my own. I had to move back in with my parents for 2 years to save money and while with them, I helped them pay their bills, chipped in with groceries, helped clean around the house, and cooked for my parents a few times a week. My coworkers were SHOCKED that I did all of that. One of them admitted that she only knew how to boil water for ramyeon (in an electric kettle). They even wanted to know how I knew what things to buy for my home (groceries, cleaning products, and furniture). One was like "How do you know what you need?" I had a hard time answering that question.
… I’ve never even thought that way. How do you know what you need? Good grief. You don’t always, but then you realize you need something and go to the store. 😅
I have met similar people in Korea (oldest 39 yrs old). It is so hard to imagine how it is to live like that. I have really enjoyed being and living independent since high school (when at university I lived some years in shared appartments with friends or other students but totally independet of my parents).
This reminds me of learned helplessness. It makes me think people are used to total authority on the one hand and don't know how to self-direct. That poses a problem when you have to rely on yourself. On the other hand, some people are terrified of becoming independent out of college. Imagine how strong that fear gets into one's 30s and 40s, having to learn independence from scratch. It's so much easier to stay where they've always been. And this isn't even considering what the parents are like.
This really hit home. It happens in the USA as well. I have this very problem. it is cripeling. The guilt trips alone set my teeth on edge. And don't get me started about the things I want to accomplish in my life that always bring negative talk, and doom and gloom. But I'm carefully working on myself and standing up for my wants and goals.....Pray for me.
In most Latin Americans Families you can live with your parents until you get married or if you're ok after. But your parents won't push out at 18 y/o. They will push you to get a job and go to school. You need to do either school/ work or both. Most family give their kids responsibilities at home. In my house, I have two brothers and although in most Latin Americans the men are not expected to do anything at home, well, not at my house. We worked together and had a chore schedule. Not all Latin American Families are like this, some believe anything that have to do with house chores / cooking is a "womens job," and they will criticize those men who help out at home with things like doing laundry ect..
My Latin home was misogynistic where my mom and I were doing everything (even though my mom wears the pants) until I went to college and she had to do it all alone. She whipped everyone into shape and now the men do most of the chores (since there’s more of them)
A friend of mine here in the U.S. wouldn't leave his mom's house. He was 36 at the time. And I remember when she moved into a smaller home w/ 1 bedroom and a loft (for her grandkids when they visited) and he decided to take the loft. I asked him did he ever think his mom went from this 4 bedroom home to a smaller home because she wanted her own space. And his response was when he was stationed in Germany some "2,000 years ago" (pure exaggeration) families had 3 & 4 generations in one home, so he felt he should do that. His mom actually had to leave the state in order for him to move into his own space. And even then he was trying to go where she was but she finally said "NO."
Megan, you're the queen of Marriage/family content in korea! keep it coming, quite interesting as i live in korea for many years and still learning about this culture
As a person learning Korean, I really enjoy your videos about the Korean culture that you don't really hear about. Very interesting and informative. 감사합니다 😄
American married to korean and long time korea resident here. It's the weirdest thing, I have a job in Korea where I rub sholders with alot of executives from major companies and they brag that their kid lives at home. I think Megan really summed up the whole situation really well as to why. But it is seriously the strangest phenomenon. When I tell them I left home when I was 18, I get a pearl clutch and "is that safe?".😅 I would also like to add that the fact that most people, even wealthy families only have 1 kid... maaaybe 2, doesn't help the situation. All of their energy goes into that one golden child and it makes problems later. Fortunately, in my case, my korean husband has 4 siblings so my mother in law has other places to distribute her energy other than our family.
Im from the US and my cousins first husband was all these issues. So enmeshed with his mother that even after his marriage she handled his money and he consulted on all decisions rather than his wife. My cousin eventually divorced him for other reasoms but it mostly stemmed from this kind of parenting. Crazy situation. His second wife divorced him also. Dude needs to learn or he'll never stay married.
I am Korean who moved to Australia in my teens. Everything you mentioned is so true. There are many parents who are obsessed with their children or dependent on their children in many ways. I think a lot of it is just bad practices or just unnecessary burden for young couple. Ppl should do away with such practices in my opinion, which is actually thebcase in many families. I don't know exactly what percentages ppl are emotionally dependent on their children, but it must be decreasing over time. Even in Australia, I saw a very well to do family where the mother was very obsessed with her children and being over-protective. She struggled to let go of them. Her children discussed everything with her and the patents paid for ther children even into their adulthood. This included their fees and expenses during their tertiary education, their weddings and honeymoons, and for the married children's new homes. She even took her son-in-law to be to her (luxury)hair salon. The children were asking their mum for advice in everything they did. Eventually the parents were baby sitting and spoiling their grandson often. I felt like I was watching an obsessed Korean parents. I saw her crying while reading a book about letting the grown up children go. That's when I realised this can happen to any race, if parents become obsessive. The parents and the children all seemed to be happy with that kind of arrangement though. They are probably co-dependent. But it definitely is a societal issue in Korea.
The learned helplessness Korean men display in relationships is upsetting They expect their girlfriends to be their mothers and still expect them to work full time too
I am originally from Iraq, although I left the country when I was 18 my parents (mainly dad) still expected me to live the Iraqi way. Live with them till I got married. I was able to escape during university. This expectation is for both sons and daughters. If you liv3 in the same city or town then you live with your parents. It took me 2 years to convince dad that I needed to move out on my own for my own mental health. He just could not understand or fathom why. Why would I want to live on my own when he was providing me with everything? I finally managed to move out at 30. Lived about 2 km away from them. Dad had a friend whose apartment was across from mine. He was there every day for about a month watching me. I wasn’t having wild parties, I wasn’t going out and staying out all night I wasn’t bringing men into my home, I wasn’t doing anything that he would have disapproved of, so why? He really never understood. I was the youngest of 7. All my sibling were living in other countries, married, I was the only one who was living in Spain with them. I was single, did not meet my husband till I was 38. My dad thought that I was going to be their carer. Whenever I met a guy he would sabotage it. I don’t blame dad or resent him, I love him and miss him and would give anything to spend a few hours with him. Acknowledging his shortcomings doesn’t mean I did not like him. I understand that he was from another generation and lived a completely different life to mine, but it was hard trying to be myself and a loving daughter at the same time.
I feel like your story is going to become mine... I'm 27 and still living at home with my parents, I don't see myself moving out or meeting a guy I want to marry until my 30s. I'm not Iraqi but Bengali, parents from my culture have the same expectation of their children taking care of them when they're elderly - Either their daughters or their daughter-in-laws, god forbid their sons do any caretaking tasks 🙄
Seriously loving these new videos! I keep being shocked by how relevant your content is to the west!! Seeing so many parallels between adult child/parent relationships where the parents have been narcissisticly abusive! SO. MANY. SIMILARITIES.
I am a single mother of 2 in the USA. My daughters are 14 and 17 and it's been a very difficult road. I am ashamed to say I have had a bit of this behavior, being too controlling and then they rebel even more. I look forward to the day that they go off to college. I insist that they live in a dorm or an apartment of their own, so they can experience that independence and be happy while they are attending college. I still want to help them with meals and snacks and laundry on the weekends. I will long for their phone calls I am sure. I love them very much, but in a way I want to live vicariously through them. I had to drop out of college due to my pregnancy. It was my happiest moment in life, and I want them to experience it as well, in the best way. I tear up thinking about living alone for the first time in 2 decades, and how I will have more time to focus on myself. What that will be like... having to face the mirror. I know how these attached parents feel. But we have to let our babies spread their wings, and we have to teach them how to be independent so they can be successful once they're on their own.
Kudos to you for recognizing it and doing something about it! Would you consider getting counselling to help you strengthen your relationship with your kids and help with that transition?
@@je9417 I tried therapy for awhile but they paired me with someone who I went to 4 appointments, and every time she didn't remember anything about me and re-introduced herself every time lol. Then she would ask me very few questions and spent the rest of the time typing on her laptop. I wasn't really getting anything out of it so I stopped going. My daughters are both in therapy though. I read self help books and try to meditate when I can, but really I am just doing my best. A lot of these parents I think you need patience with. Age does not equate to maturity. But we are trying.
@oxoelfoxo I plan to. :) I struggled financially for as long as I can remember, but I'm planning to pay off some old college debt next month, and I'll be free to re-enroll. I think I'll do a class or maybe two at first, online. I still work full time and I don't want to overdo it.
Megan I REALLY LOVE THESE SIT-DOWN TALKING VIDEOS! Not only does it shed light on other cultures but people all over the world go through these things and these videos really me to tap into some self-reflection.
Whether it is children who don’t want to give up the comforts of home or parents who do not want to let their children go, both situations end up with parents and children losing out in the long run. Both my parents urged me and my sisters out of the nest but we were always welcomed back if necessary and we were all better off. Granted the cultural and economic situations in the US are different but the end result is the same.
i think if the child is lazy, doesn't work, doesn't pay bills, is filthy, isn't doing household chores etc, then yes they need to go. But if the child is doing all that and contributing to the household, there's nothing wrong with staying as long as your parents aren't abusive and are ok with it. it's too expensive with these minimum wage jobs to live on your own these days, atleast in America, i can't speak for Korea. I worked full time back in 2017 and i only made $10/hr at that job. Not enough to support myself even if i wanted to.
Yeah. Even here in America, I pay for half of the bills, cook (purchase food), clean (because my mom has bad eyesight) and try to manage the outside of the property. My siblings and neighbors probably think shit of me but I really don't care that I'm living at home. I know my parents are taken care of and won't need to waste money NOT having the same care in Assisted Living centers like we saw my grandparents go through.
No wonder 🤦🏾♀️ . So many things make a whole lot more sense now. I think God just used you to make the answer He gave me make more sense. I’ve been praying about this Korean guy I met a few months ago, and efforts to get close to him seem to keep getting blocked. Now I understand why God’s answer is NO. I didn’t know about this part of Korean culture, so I definitely would’ve had in-law issues if it ever turned into something tangible. Keep making these videos, Megan! You’re out here protecting people’s peace in these RUclips streets! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I am a mother of six children all adults living in the USA. Two of my children still live with me and my husband. And they a not home because of us. I do not get involved in their personal lives. They an independent I don’t wash for them or cook or clean for the them. They an adults am not responsible for them anymore. I will help if it is a situation where they can’t help themselves. Parents have to let their children be adults and live their own lives.
Some kids choose not to leave their parents’ nest because one reason is to keep rent money within the family vs paying rent for apartments in which they’ll never see that money back, ever again. In the long term, their family may be able to give that money back to their children after doing whatever with their property since they’ll have that extra cash to re-invest with. The kids would be able to pay lower rent and have that emotional support until they can buy their own property in the future, if they come from a supportive family of course. Others may want to stay with their parents until they find a job that they actually like or finish education that they really want. But I think the big elephant in the room with living alone that most people think about is that you’ll be able to date as many people as you want and no one would care since they won’t be sharing that same space. As a guy, that’s what some guys highly value but gotta understand that some cultures don’t work that way sometimes depending on family values. Plus 1 out of 3 American people in their twenties chose to stay in the nest longer to have that head start financially and I don’t blame them due to rising living costs and lack of raise with incomes. So some just don’t mention they still stay with their parents because a lot of people consider it weird just cuz it’s a different culture than theirs and they don’t wanna get judged just for getting more out of their finances or pursuing goals that would be easier if they don’t gotta pay a lot of rent money. If one has the funds to buy a full house right out the gate at 18, props to that, but that’s just not most people. Around that age, individuals who wanna live alone will typically be in apartments. There’s just no right or wrong, just different
not living in korea but i still live with my parents at 32 years old haha mostly because they have sacrificed a lot so i bought an apartment for my family so they can be safe and then in a couple of years i'll try to buy a small one just for me. although maybe i have been gaslighted too haha
Even in my Country Tanzania people kids still live with their parents untill they get married. The different in Tanzania or Africa general after age 14 or 16 it depend on the family the Mom stop doing laundry for kids.And also boys start doing outside chores and girl kitchen and house chores so in other words you became Maid for family especially a girl and the Mom start to rest and do other things. -That why in Africa if a girl get married The Mom miss her so much. -If the boys or girl get jobs also start to pay for her or his share of food only.
People fail to realize that it's not always a bad thing, sometimes the kids want to live with their parents AND the parents want them to stay - So why should they leave in that situation? As long as everyone is happy and no one is preventing you from moving out if you wanted to, it is okay 👍
Culturally, in my Haitian household, I still live with my parents at 30. It's normal to stay at home till marriage, and it's more about my family being my community and support system than being dependent on them. I still do chores, I help my mom and dad with their business, and we live communaly.
I am always grateful for having had a mother who taught me to be independent, to take care of the home, to be responsible in many ways, and gave me room to grow my confidence all while ready to open her arms to me when I needed it.
Love this new video format you’ve been doing following you for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of growth and every time I love it so I appreciate your hard work.!!!
I really enjoy some of this content that you've been posting. It's really interesting to dig deep into the habits of other cultures and seeing just how different it can be compared to your own.
Honestly, as a foreigner living alone in Korea, I am paying rent outta my ass because I don't wanna live in a tiny studio too 😅 coming from a culture where even the poorest live in small houses (and having experience this first hand), living in a tiny apartment the size of a student dorm just feels so suffocating to me. I'm also a collector and dreamed of owning a cat for a long time (which I now do!) but those things take space. Housing in Korea is ridiculously expensive, so I fully understand staying at home in your nice big apartment rather than living in a tiny box - however I do think these adult kids should be contributing if theyre staying home
On the other hand I prefer to have no money and live in a tiny home all by myself vs with my parents and having to put up with their shit 😅 then again my bedroom at theirs is also very tiny so not really suited for adult life.
I worked for a very kind Korean-American family when i was younger. The daughter lives her own life. The son (who i worked for) had his practice out of his dads office. He went to the schools he was told. Now his whole life is dictated bt his mother and wife. It's actually heartbreaking how unhappy he seemed but how hard he tried to find joy
These videos of family relation topics in S Korea are really interesting! I have been in and out of South Korea many times since the pandemic and it is always nice to learn new things. I am Finnish and the culture here is like totally opposite. The children are raised very independent very early and when I left home after high school my parents were like: "Now you are on your own, we won't support you anymore.." Sometimes it was hard but I was also free. So if my parents did not agree with my life choices or what ever, they had no influence on me cause I earned my money and took care of myself. I have travelled and lived a lot abroad, always gone to new places alone, never been afraid I could not handle things in a new environment. So although I sometimes hear people saying the way I was raised was quite brutal (if they come from a different culture) I have no complains. 😊
I'm an only child in Ireland living with parents. I can't work fulltime due to a disability so my monthly income is €928. I would love a tiny studio apartment just for myself but bedrooms in shared houses start at €900 per month so I'm priced out of all of them. It took years after moving back in (I used to rent before becoming disabled) to teach my mom to knock on the door before entering. Now that they're both entering their 60s I feel more like my mother's maid than her child. So much of the everyday life skills I have I learned in school and from my friends - my dad taught my handiness but my mom taught me no life skills. Now I'm expected to clean up after her because she thinks she doesn't have to do it herself. I'm not interested in marriage so I see no way out. I definitely empathise with Koreans in their 30s who feel trapped at home.
Also, 15% of people are disabled. So, it's a blessing for some people to even BE able to ever live independently. I feel like that is so easily forgotten.
I can’t imagine being dependent on my parents when I’m in my 30s and 40s. If life throws you a curve ball and they’re gone, you gotta be ready to stand on your own two feet! At least that’s what I was taught 😅
This was definitely an interesting watch; I was aware that it’s common for adults to live with their parents in SK until marriage but for whatever reason it never occurred to me that, for some, this is an involuntary move. I like the idea of multi generational living but not in these particular circumstances 😅. My jaw was on the floor when you showed the clip of the young lady purposely not leaving the family home because she didn’t want to cook, clean, or have a small place; that’s when I really felt the cultural difference because even as kids/teens we needed to contribute to the household and do chores. But I guess it goes back to what you were saying about how a lot of mothers are taught and conditioned to “stick to their role” and their role in this case I guess is being the sole caretaker of the house. My hope is that the current generation experiencing this can break the cycle but it definitely sound like it will be tough (especially considering the cost of living and birth rate crisis)
Alot of adult children live with their parents in various cultures because they contribute to the household. My friend is of African descent and just moved out of her parents' home because she got married. I think it's only strange in America. Where we get kicked to the curb at 18. 😂
Especially in AA culture my parents were like at 18yr old your out. I had to get an apartment while I was working, going school full time, and just learning about adulthood. My parents made my siblings and I lives harder doing BS like this.
I'm so sorry you had to struggle like that. you didn't even get to enjoy that part of your life after highschool because you were pounding the pavement trying to afford rent@@serenity8901
I live in America and feel like my mom did this to us. My dad is always awful to her but she won't leave him and pours all her time into her kids. After hitting 18, I went to college and would pay her rent money and buy whatever else she wanted even though I couldn't afford to move out on my own. Finally got a great job and relationship and left but I didn't get out until I was 27 and feel like it stunted my personal growth as an adult. My sister is mid twenties and still living there and has to pay nothing or do nothing and they do everything for her so she won't leave like I did.
Good that's their family. They need to build on their families. The sons and daughters should you remember to honor their mother and father and great-grandparents during ancestral rights.
Where I live, we have family homes where there are two or three apartments on two or three floors in the same house. So technically, the children don't live with their parents, but they are in the same building.
same arrangement here with a multi gen family of 8 people incl kids in 3 apts of a 6 apt building we have personal space but all 3 gens as well our pets are all still up in each other's bizness most days ..lol...it's crazy but it works🙏
I’m Korean but grew up overseas so I moved out pretty early because I wanted to be independent and feel accomplished but moving out initially was difficult because of mom’s separation anxiety. She made me feel guilty for ‘abandoning’ the family. So initially when I moved out, I had to ease into it by staying weekdays at my place and weekends at parents’ or vice versa. Now they’re used to it but it was not easy convincing her initially
In my West Indian background, most children stay home until they get married or sometimes they even stay after they get married until they can afford to build a house (cash!). I grew up in the states so my mom pushed me to leave at 17 to go away to college. It was fun but I’m in so much debt it’s not even funny 😢. My husband mostly lived at home throughout undergrad and had no debt from college. So, we have children today. Our children will stay home through college, get a good job and then hopefully move out. Hopefully 🤞. I won’t force them out, unless they are terrible which I don’t see happening since so far they are wonderful children. But I will encourage them to live their lives post college/certification. The debt isn’t worth it for early independence. I studied abroad in SK and I actually loved that the culture is so close. I wish my parents held more firmly to the West Indian way of keeping close to family. I think my mom wanted bragging rights 😅.
I live in the UK in my 30s still live with my Colombian mum and Colombians families also have this same issue while we live with mum and dad, mum will be the one cook my meals and do the laundry
I'm south asian and this is true in my country as well.. I'm 31 and still living with my parents because I'm still unmarried.. Here unless you're married or works so far away from home then they're still living with their parents.. The cost of living and house cost is too high 😢
A lot people wants to live in big houses until they realize how much chores and bills they actually have to do on their own. Also, what some adults don't realize before moving out is how much their parents do stuff for them: household budgeting, groceries, laundry, house cleaning, meals.
Korean born and raised in Germany and moved out for uni right after high school - any my mom hated it 😂 i think she just recently made peace with me not living at home anymore - and I'm 42 now
I currently don't live in Korea but that girl saying she doesn't want to live in a small rented place makes me think, at least she has that option to rent a small place and she can choose, but in Europe in a lot of the capitals that one small place is ridiculously expencive and even harder to secure that rent because of not enough places available and lots of people "fighting" for the same place.
Nobody wants to start out, if not at the bottom then at least at entry-level, and then earn their way up, whether its a job or housing or their first house or whatever. Its not about fear, they just expect to be supported in the manner to which they've become accustomed. And thats not just a Korean thing!
Alot of young people doesn't have a realistic expectation of what life in early 20s is like. You don't move out to a big house like the one you live with your parents. Young people don't want to downgrade without realizing that their parent also had to live in a small house before moving to a big house after 10 years of working....
I live with my mother. When I was 18 I moved to NY to go to college and was iving with my grandmother. She got sick so my mom moved NY to help take care of her. Grandma got worse and then she passed away. Queu depresion period. Decided to stay with mom until I could get a job and save up for my own appartment. Queu unsussesful job search and interviews. Another period of depresion. Got into educational programs. Mom got sick, longest 6 months without her of my life. She needed a home care aid to be able to be dischard. Got myself approved and assinged as her care aid. After years of not having a stable job I get one taking care of her.
I'm Bengali and our culture is very similar, sons are expected to live with their parents their whole lives even after they're married and daughters are expected to live at home until they're married. Overall I'd say living with our parents is pretty normal for us at any age, the whole "moving out as an adult" thing is a pretty western concept - I don't see an issue with it until it comes to the people who WANT to move out but can't bc of cultural norms/expectations. We're not just freeloading either, many adult sons and daughters start contributing towards bills etc or just straight up give their parents money once they land a stable job/career.
I moved back in with my parents here in America. Thankfully, I was home when my mom fell and broke her hip and wrist. Sure my siblings and sister in law would always say shit like when you move out, we can be friends. But who was there to take care of my mom? I was. They didn't come around but to give her flowers, spend less than an hour visiting her and were on their way. I like being there to take care of my parents and as the eldest, will more than likely need to do so.
N here in India, we live our whole life with parents or in laws😂. I don't hate the system if in laws know how to behave. It provides grandkids a safe space after parents. We have a saying that "grandkids r last frnd of grandparents and grandparents are first frnd of tge child"
I remember when my son turned 18 he said i guess i have to move out now .i was suprised i said no but i would like for you to find something that interest you in collage or get a job and save some money so when you do decide to go you wont have to struggle so now he has a job going to collage and playing in a sport he really likes so im happy.
You’re a great person and parent for thinking this way. Sadly, I struggled due to my parents lack of support once my siblings and I turned 18. I thought even at 18 you had me and brought me into this crazy world. I wasn’t a problem child got mostly As, worked and was headed to community college before attending a university. They are the money hungry type but had 4 kids. Why would a 18 yr old going to a community college 10-15 mins away from home need an apartment instead of saving. Plus I didn’t get financial aid because my parents made to much so I paid for my schooling and books. let me just say I’m in my 30s and fully cut my parents off for many reasons.
Hi Megan Moon, your thumbnail really stood out! With professional video editing, you could boost your views significantly. Would you be interested in discussing this further?
I think some parents breed an anxiety into you that you can't survive without them. Only once you move out do you realize life is not that complicated. This coupled with high rent prices means more ppl stay at home.
I have kicked out my children several times but they keep coming back, even bringing the grandkids with them. I bought them each an apartment and one of them rented it out and came back home. 😢 I love them all but….please, right now we have 2 grandkids and their parents, one son and his girlfriend plus hubby and me. I want to run away to an apartment and leave them all in the house.
I could see the perfectionism and gaslighting. Each culture around the globe has their own issues and downsides. Here in the states we have large chunks of families that might have the likeness of family w/ little substance and a lot of ok there’s the door at 18. Abandonment to sink or swim. Focus on self vs connection. a lot don’t successfully transition out of that or into successful healthy adulthood. What SKs dealing with seems slightly different. same stew with just a different flavor.
I think parents kick their kids out at 18 only if they’re trouble makers or maybe the parent can’t afford to take care of them. But a lot of adults live with their parents nowadays. I think the difference is that most parent don’t try to guilt the kids to stay home. That’s weird.
some children don’t even make it to 18 but end up in the system. Some children escape at 18 cuz the home they are in is hell and not a home. Some children escape at 18 to just continue a life of abuse as they experienced. Some children are raised in such strict and unbending realities that they crumble under the strain or escape to spend decades attempting to learn how to self parent and become a person who doesn’t do the same to their kids. But if a parent “kicks” their kid out at 18… there is a lot more going on and very most likely not a bad kid.
@@michellek6581Exactly my siblings and I were told at 18 we had to go. This was my dad money hungry decision. My mom never went against him even when he was wrong. We had to pay for college, car, and apartment ourselves. U.S. school system had us add our parents who made too much money which prevented financial aid. My sister and I fully cut ties with our parents. We’re both in our 30s now and still struggle and suffer from childhood trauma. I went to sleep at the wheel of my car in my 20s trying to get through life in a world I never asked to be in. I was so tired from working and stressed about test and paying bills. Did my parents care that we suffered no. It was a narcissistic game. Yet, they talked to people about God and made people think they were good people by giving them money while we suffered. It’s a crazy mind game to understand for some, but it happens. Reason I don’t judge people or give my opinion on certain things. After talking to family members in 2024 I finally found out they all knew my parents we’re apiece of S*** It was a relief and helped my mental health because my parents went around telling lies like they helped us become what we are. 😂 I just 🙏🏾 and keep it moving.
I’ve noticed that a lot of men who are older live with their mom and dad. They date around just to get sex but have no intention of getting married or being committed even up into their 40s. And now I wonder if it’s because they are taking care of their parents and they don’t think they can find somebody who would understand that.
This kind of thing happens in a lot of cultures. Two of my BILs in their 30s still live at home, and now a girlfriend has moved in. They had a chance to buy a small apartment on a social housing scheme for like half of what they usually cost and with us chipping in they could have owned it outright within two years. But they didn't take it, because their adult sons wouldn't have had space. So they prefer living in a delapitated house with steep stairs and the kids don't even pay rent. And that's in Central Europe. MIL also does all of the housekeeping for everyone.
I’ve heard about this a lot… but then I am curious what would happen if there is a fatal accident and the person left alone but previously they lived only with parents… been taken care of parents…? What that kind of person would do then when they haven’t been any issues previously because of their parents taking care of them? No judgment or anything but just a bit curious and maybe a bit worried in general (?). In our culture we want to separate as soon as possible from our parents (that is the norm). If you can’t then it is more financial issue or if there is health issue. But other than that, as soon as possible we move out. We care about our parents of course, but we want to make our own path and lives. But yeah it is just culture thing. It’s just so fascinating to get to know more about different culture aspects ❤
It makes for a very unhealthy, codependent relationship. I am not opposed to my adult children living with me when they are going to college but once they graduate and find a job, I expect them to want to move out to be their own person. Because at home, they still have to live by their parent's rules. Also, there is no expectation of kids looking after their parents here in the US. My kids say, "mom we will look after you in your old age". And I am like, "don't worry about me, please just worry about looking after yourself." Which is realistic because the world is getting so much more competitive, what with AI and climate change disruptions, that I will just be happy if my kids make it on their own.
All of my siblings and me lived with our mom until we were financially stable to move out or got married. It wouldn't bother me if my spouse still lived with his family. It would bother me if they didn't teach him no life skills. Also, if you are living at home with your parents you definitely should contributing to the household. My mom and stepdad charged me and my sister $300 a month while we lived there.
That pattern is seen also in a lot of third world countries (in my experience in latin america). Generational poverty may have a lot to do with it too in the latin american countries.
Living in 🇺🇸 and some of what you've spoken about happens here. Some seniors are afraid of living by themselves and many ( when they worked in their younger years) did not participate in retirement programs offered by employers, believing that drawing Social Security would be enough.😢😢 01/20/2025
07:45 that reminds me of Cersei Lannister from Game of thrones survival guide to marriage Especially her speech to Sansa during Season 2 That’s not a good sign
I live in Korea and my husband is Korean. We started living together after getting married so I definitely discovered some new things about him that way. Some things you mentioned in the videos were true for him. For example, everytime he didn't know something, he would call his mom. He also didn't know how to manage his money because his mom did it for him before.
Luckily, compared to others in general, he was already quite indépendant because he lived in Australia alone as an exchange student.
We watched a lot of financial content together and now he loves to be responsible with his money. He's always open to self improvement and I´m grateful for it.
I've been living in Korea for over 7 years and everything you've said in your video was spot-on. I've heard (and read) about soo many non-koreans who have married Koreans and experienced this exact same thing with their spouse and in-laws. Once (during my 2nd year here) I went out to dinner with 2 Korean coworkers (one in her 30s and the other in her 40's).
They both lived with their parents at the time and they were surprised to hear that I'd moved out of my parents' home for university and had spent 9 out of the last 11 years (by that time) living on my own. I had to move back in with my parents for 2 years to save money and while with them, I helped them pay their bills, chipped in with groceries, helped clean around the house, and cooked for my parents a few times a week. My coworkers were SHOCKED that I did all of that. One of them admitted that she only knew how to boil water for ramyeon (in an electric kettle).
They even wanted to know how I knew what things to buy for my home (groceries, cleaning products, and furniture). One was like "How do you know what you need?" I had a hard time answering that question.
good gracious
… I’ve never even thought that way. How do you know what you need? Good grief. You don’t always, but then you realize you need something and go to the store. 😅
I have met similar people in Korea (oldest 39 yrs old). It is so hard to imagine how it is to live like that. I have really enjoyed being and living independent since high school (when at university I lived some years in shared appartments with friends or other students but totally independet of my parents).
Big yikes. Women in their 30s and 40s who can't do basic things like grocery shopping and cleaning.
that shows that they really weren't doing much around the house... wow.
I love this new content you’ve been putting out on Korean culture so much!!! Thank you.
Me too! Very interesting.
This reminds me of learned helplessness.
It makes me think people are used to total authority on the one hand and don't know how to self-direct. That poses a problem when you have to rely on yourself.
On the other hand, some people are terrified of becoming independent out of college. Imagine how strong that fear gets into one's 30s and 40s, having to learn independence from scratch. It's so much easier to stay where they've always been.
And this isn't even considering what the parents are like.
SOOO many Korean men arr like this
They’ll mess up a simple dish like pasta on purpose so that u will cook it instead
This really hit home. It happens in the USA as well. I have this very problem. it is cripeling. The guilt trips alone set my teeth on edge. And don't get me started about the things I want to accomplish in my life that always bring negative talk, and doom and gloom. But I'm carefully working on myself and standing up for my wants and goals.....Pray for me.
In most Latin Americans Families you can live with your parents until you get married or if you're ok after. But your parents won't push out at 18 y/o. They will push you to get a job and go to school. You need to do either school/ work or both. Most family give their kids responsibilities at home. In my house, I have two brothers and although in most Latin Americans the men are not expected to do anything at home, well, not at my house. We worked together and had a chore schedule. Not all Latin American Families are like this, some believe anything that have to do with house chores / cooking is a "womens job," and they will criticize those men who help out at home with things like doing laundry ect..
Yes, I'm Haitian, and it is exactly the same.
My Latin home was misogynistic where my mom and I were doing everything (even though my mom wears the pants) until I went to college and she had to do it all alone. She whipped everyone into shape and now the men do most of the chores (since there’s more of them)
Loving this series - more informative than gossip but just as satisfying! 😂 Thanks as always❤
Hahaha. I’ll do gossip again soon~~~ hehehe. I just also find these topics interesting. I might also start throwing in more gossip between each point.
That's what I like. It's not gossip is based on real people experiences
A friend of mine here in the U.S. wouldn't leave his mom's house. He was 36 at the time. And I remember when she moved into a smaller home w/ 1 bedroom and a loft (for her grandkids when they visited) and he decided to take the loft. I asked him did he ever think his mom went from this 4 bedroom home to a smaller home because she wanted her own space. And his response was when he was stationed in Germany some "2,000 years ago" (pure exaggeration) families had 3 & 4 generations in one home, so he felt he should do that. His mom actually had to leave the state in order for him to move into his own space. And even then he was trying to go where she was but she finally said "NO."
😂wow!
Megan, you're the queen of Marriage/family content in korea! keep it coming, quite interesting as i live in korea for many years and still learning about this culture
As a person learning Korean, I really enjoy your videos about the Korean culture that you don't really hear about. Very interesting and informative. 감사합니다 😄
American married to korean and long time korea resident here. It's the weirdest thing, I have a job in Korea where I rub sholders with alot of executives from major companies and they brag that their kid lives at home. I think Megan really summed up the whole situation really well as to why. But it is seriously the strangest phenomenon. When I tell them I left home when I was 18, I get a pearl clutch and "is that safe?".😅 I would also like to add that the fact that most people, even wealthy families only have 1 kid... maaaybe 2, doesn't help the situation. All of their energy goes into that one golden child and it makes problems later. Fortunately, in my case, my korean husband has 4 siblings so my mother in law has other places to distribute her energy other than our family.
Im from the US and my cousins first husband was all these issues. So enmeshed with his mother that even after his marriage she handled his money and he consulted on all decisions rather than his wife. My cousin eventually divorced him for other reasoms but it mostly stemmed from this kind of parenting. Crazy situation. His second wife divorced him also. Dude needs to learn or he'll never stay married.
good lord... man child
I am Korean who moved to Australia in my teens. Everything you mentioned is so true. There are many parents who are obsessed with their children or dependent on their children in many ways. I think a lot of it is just bad practices or just unnecessary burden for young couple. Ppl should do away with such practices in my opinion, which is actually thebcase in many families. I don't know exactly what percentages ppl are emotionally dependent on their children, but it must be decreasing over time.
Even in Australia, I saw a very well to do family where the mother was very obsessed with her children and being over-protective. She struggled to let go of them. Her children discussed everything with her and the patents paid for ther children even into their adulthood. This included their fees and expenses during their tertiary education, their weddings and honeymoons, and for the married children's new homes. She even took her son-in-law to be to her (luxury)hair salon. The children were asking their mum for advice in everything they did. Eventually the parents were baby sitting and spoiling their grandson often. I felt like I was watching an obsessed Korean parents. I saw her crying while reading a book about letting the grown up children go. That's when I realised this can happen to any race, if parents become obsessive. The parents and the children all seemed to be happy with that kind of arrangement though. They are probably co-dependent.
But it definitely is a societal issue in Korea.
The learned helplessness Korean men display in relationships is upsetting
They expect their girlfriends to be their mothers and still expect them to work full time too
I am originally from Iraq, although I left the country when I was 18 my parents (mainly dad) still expected me to live the Iraqi way. Live with them till I got married. I was able to escape during university. This expectation is for both sons and daughters. If you liv3 in the same city or town then you live with your parents.
It took me 2 years to convince dad that I needed to move out on my own for my own mental health. He just could not understand or fathom why. Why would I want to live on my own when he was providing me with everything? I finally managed to move out at 30. Lived about 2 km away from them. Dad had a friend whose apartment was across from mine. He was there every day for about a month watching me. I wasn’t having wild parties, I wasn’t going out and staying out all night I wasn’t bringing men into my home, I wasn’t doing anything that he would have disapproved of, so why? He really never understood.
I was the youngest of 7. All my sibling were living in other countries, married, I was the only one who was living in Spain with them. I was single, did not meet my husband till I was 38. My dad thought that I was going to be their carer. Whenever I met a guy he would sabotage it.
I don’t blame dad or resent him, I love him and miss him and would give anything to spend a few hours with him. Acknowledging his shortcomings doesn’t mean I did not like him. I understand that he was from another generation and lived a completely different life to mine, but it was hard trying to be myself and a loving daughter at the same time.
الرد على تساؤلاتج سهله جدا لانه احنا كمجتمعات عربية اسلامية الاب يكون مسؤول لحد الزواج فطبيعي فكرة انه نكون معزولين عنهم ماتناسبنا
I feel like your story is going to become mine... I'm 27 and still living at home with my parents, I don't see myself moving out or meeting a guy I want to marry until my 30s. I'm not Iraqi but Bengali, parents from my culture have the same expectation of their children taking care of them when they're elderly - Either their daughters or their daughter-in-laws, god forbid their sons do any caretaking tasks 🙄
@ ليس له علاقه بالإسلام، بل بالتراث والمجتمع. هناك مسيحيون، يزيديون، بهائيون والكل عندهم نفس العادات. هذه عادات اجتماعيه وليس دينيه
Seriously loving these new videos!
I keep being shocked by how relevant your content is to the west!! Seeing so many parallels between adult child/parent relationships where the parents have been narcissisticly abusive! SO. MANY. SIMILARITIES.
Meghan’s hair~~ so beautiful! I’m really enjoying learning about Korea through these videos!
Loving these videos so much! So interesting - great job Megan!💕👏🏼
Yaaay! Glad you enjoy it! ❤❤❤ thanks for watching and supporting ❤❤❤
I am a single mother of 2 in the USA. My daughters are 14 and 17 and it's been a very difficult road. I am ashamed to say I have had a bit of this behavior, being too controlling and then they rebel even more. I look forward to the day that they go off to college. I insist that they live in a dorm or an apartment of their own, so they can experience that independence and be happy while they are attending college. I still want to help them with meals and snacks and laundry on the weekends. I will long for their phone calls I am sure. I love them very much, but in a way I want to live vicariously through them. I had to drop out of college due to my pregnancy. It was my happiest moment in life, and I want them to experience it as well, in the best way. I tear up thinking about living alone for the first time in 2 decades, and how I will have more time to focus on myself. What that will be like... having to face the mirror. I know how these attached parents feel. But we have to let our babies spread their wings, and we have to teach them how to be independent so they can be successful once they're on their own.
Kudos to you for recognizing it and doing something about it! Would you consider getting counselling to help you strengthen your relationship with your kids and help with that transition?
@@je9417 I tried therapy for awhile but they paired me with someone who I went to 4 appointments, and every time she didn't remember anything about me and re-introduced herself every time lol. Then she would ask me very few questions and spent the rest of the time typing on her laptop. I wasn't really getting anything out of it so I stopped going. My daughters are both in therapy though. I read self help books and try to meditate when I can, but really I am just doing my best. A lot of these parents I think you need patience with. Age does not equate to maturity. But we are trying.
you can still get a college degree for yourself if you want to
@oxoelfoxo I plan to. :) I struggled financially for as long as I can remember, but I'm planning to pay off some old college debt next month, and I'll be free to re-enroll. I think I'll do a class or maybe two at first, online. I still work full time and I don't want to overdo it.
Be careful sending them off to college alone when they hit 18. The bad influences are ABUNDANT. I'm currently in college and its baddd
I appreciate this format
Megan I REALLY LOVE THESE SIT-DOWN TALKING VIDEOS! Not only does it shed light on other cultures but people all over the world go through these things and these videos really me to tap into some self-reflection.
Your content is helping me to understand the context and sub context of many kdramas better.
You are always sharing things I never knew was happening in other places as well.
Whether it is children who don’t want to give up the comforts of home or parents who do not want to let their children go, both situations end up with parents and children losing out in the long run. Both my parents urged me and my sisters out of the nest but we were always welcomed back if necessary and we were all better off. Granted the cultural and economic situations in the US are different but the end result is the same.
Not always with losing out in the long run
I'm addicted to these, keep it up!
I am binge watching all your videos 🫶🏻 can’t wait for the next video ☺️🙏🏽
i think if the child is lazy, doesn't work, doesn't pay bills, is filthy, isn't doing household chores etc, then yes they need to go. But if the child is doing all that and contributing to the household, there's nothing wrong with staying as long as your parents aren't abusive and are ok with it. it's too expensive with these minimum wage jobs to live on your own these days, atleast in America, i can't speak for Korea. I worked full time back in 2017 and i only made $10/hr at that job. Not enough to support myself even if i wanted to.
Yeah. Even here in America, I pay for half of the bills, cook (purchase food), clean (because my mom has bad eyesight) and try to manage the outside of the property. My siblings and neighbors probably think shit of me but I really don't care that I'm living at home. I know my parents are taken care of and won't need to waste money NOT having the same care in Assisted Living centers like we saw my grandparents go through.
Cool unless you’re trying to date.
@ I don't date. so, I don't have any problems.
Big difference between being filthy and not doing laundry
No wonder 🤦🏾♀️ . So many things make a whole lot more sense now. I think God just used you to make the answer He gave me make more sense. I’ve been praying about this Korean guy I met a few months ago, and efforts to get close to him seem to keep getting blocked. Now I understand why God’s answer is NO. I didn’t know about this part of Korean culture, so I definitely would’ve had in-law issues if it ever turned into something tangible. Keep making these videos, Megan! You’re out here protecting people’s peace in these RUclips streets!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Loving the sit-down and talking videos!!!! ❤❤❤ The topics are so good, on-point, and I love the psychology and development psych commentary, as well.
I am a mother of six children all adults living in the USA. Two of my children still live with me and my husband. And they a not home because of us. I do not get involved in their personal lives. They an independent I don’t wash for them or cook or clean for the them. They an adults am not responsible for them anymore. I will help if it is a situation where they can’t help themselves. Parents have to let their children be adults and live their own lives.
I could listen to your videos for hours! You should do hour long videos about topics! I listen while at work 😌
Some kids choose not to leave their parents’ nest because one reason is to keep rent money within the family vs paying rent for apartments in which they’ll never see that money back, ever again. In the long term, their family may be able to give that money back to their children after doing whatever with their property since they’ll have that extra cash to re-invest with. The kids would be able to pay lower rent and have that emotional support until they can buy their own property in the future, if they come from a supportive family of course.
Others may want to stay with their parents until they find a job that they actually like or finish education that they really want. But I think the big elephant in the room with living alone that most people think about is that you’ll be able to date as many people as you want and no one would care since they won’t be sharing that same space. As a guy, that’s what some guys highly value but gotta understand that some cultures don’t work that way sometimes depending on family values. Plus 1 out of 3 American people in their twenties chose to stay in the nest longer to have that head start financially and I don’t blame them due to rising living costs and lack of raise with incomes. So some just don’t mention they still stay with their parents because a lot of people consider it weird just cuz it’s a different culture than theirs and they don’t wanna get judged just for getting more out of their finances or pursuing goals that would be easier if they don’t gotta pay a lot of rent money.
If one has the funds to buy a full house right out the gate at 18, props to that, but that’s just not most people. Around that age, individuals who wanna live alone will typically be in apartments. There’s just no right or wrong, just different
not living in korea but i still live with my parents at 32 years old haha mostly because they have sacrificed a lot so i bought an apartment for my family so they can be safe and then in a couple of years i'll try to buy a small one just for me. although maybe i have been gaslighted too haha
Even in my Country Tanzania people kids still live with their parents untill they get married.
The different in Tanzania or Africa general after age 14 or 16 it depend on the family the Mom stop doing laundry for kids.And also boys start doing outside chores and girl kitchen and house chores so in other words you became Maid for family especially a girl and the Mom start to rest and do other things.
-That why in Africa if a girl get married The Mom miss her so much.
-If the boys or girl get jobs also start to pay for her or his share of food only.
People fail to realize that it's not always a bad thing, sometimes the kids want to live with their parents AND the parents want them to stay - So why should they leave in that situation? As long as everyone is happy and no one is preventing you from moving out if you wanted to, it is okay 👍
i love this video series so much ^^ thank you dear megan ♡ couild you make them a little bit longer? ♡
Culturally, in my Haitian household, I still live with my parents at 30. It's normal to stay at home till marriage, and it's more about my family being my community and support system than being dependent on them. I still do chores, I help my mom and dad with their business, and we live communaly.
I am always grateful for having had a mother who taught me to be independent, to take care of the home, to be responsible in many ways, and gave me room to grow my confidence all while ready to open her arms to me when I needed it.
Thess videos are really fun to watch and informative ❤
I’ve been loving your new informational videos!
I'm 28 and I'm still in the pouch! 😂😂
It's hard out here stay there 😅
Love this new video format you’ve been doing following you for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of growth and every time I love it so I appreciate your hard work.!!!
Love this style of video! So glad to see you have a little more time to do things for yourself now that the kids are getting older.
Love the format🥰
I really enjoy some of this content that you've been posting. It's really interesting to dig deep into the habits of other cultures and seeing just how different it can be compared to your own.
Honestly, as a foreigner living alone in Korea, I am paying rent outta my ass because I don't wanna live in a tiny studio too 😅 coming from a culture where even the poorest live in small houses (and having experience this first hand), living in a tiny apartment the size of a student dorm just feels so suffocating to me. I'm also a collector and dreamed of owning a cat for a long time (which I now do!) but those things take space. Housing in Korea is ridiculously expensive, so I fully understand staying at home in your nice big apartment rather than living in a tiny box - however I do think these adult kids should be contributing if theyre staying home
Congratulations on getting a kitty!
On the other hand I prefer to have no money and live in a tiny home all by myself vs with my parents and having to put up with their shit 😅 then again my bedroom at theirs is also very tiny so not really suited for adult life.
Love your videos Mrs. Moo 😁😎
I absolutely love these videos you've been making
I totally agree with this co-dependency. Some Asian parents like the fact that they can still have their children depend on them.
I worked for a very kind Korean-American family when i was younger. The daughter lives her own life. The son (who i worked for) had his practice out of his dads office. He went to the schools he was told. Now his whole life is dictated bt his mother and wife. It's actually heartbreaking how unhappy he seemed but how hard he tried to find joy
Ready to learn more! 🍿🍿
Yaaay!! Thanks for watching and supporting. I’m glad that you enjoy it ❤❤❤
@MrsMeganMoon - 'Twas my pleasure and thank YOU!! 😁
Sounds like what we call “Boy moms” in the US
These videos of family relation topics in S Korea are really interesting! I have been in and out of South Korea many times since the pandemic and it is always nice to learn new things. I am Finnish and the culture here is like totally opposite. The children are raised very independent very early and when I left home after high school my parents were like: "Now you are on your own, we won't support you anymore.." Sometimes it was hard but I was also free. So if my parents did not agree with my life choices or what ever, they had no influence on me cause I earned my money and took care of myself. I have travelled and lived a lot abroad, always gone to new places alone, never been afraid I could not handle things in a new environment. So although I sometimes hear people saying the way I was raised was quite brutal (if they come from a different culture) I have no complains. 😊
Love love love your videos!! And the setup😁
I'm an only child in Ireland living with parents. I can't work fulltime due to a disability so my monthly income is €928. I would love a tiny studio apartment just for myself but bedrooms in shared houses start at €900 per month so I'm priced out of all of them. It took years after moving back in (I used to rent before becoming disabled) to teach my mom to knock on the door before entering. Now that they're both entering their 60s I feel more like my mother's maid than her child. So much of the everyday life skills I have I learned in school and from my friends - my dad taught my handiness but my mom taught me no life skills. Now I'm expected to clean up after her because she thinks she doesn't have to do it herself. I'm not interested in marriage so I see no way out. I definitely empathise with Koreans in their 30s who feel trapped at home.
Different strokes, each culture has their way of life 👍
Also, 15% of people are disabled. So, it's a blessing for some people to even BE able to ever live independently. I feel like that is so easily forgotten.
I can’t imagine being dependent on my parents when I’m in my 30s and 40s. If life throws you a curve ball and they’re gone, you gotta be ready to stand on your own two feet! At least that’s what I was taught 😅
This was definitely an interesting watch; I was aware that it’s common for adults to live with their parents in SK until marriage but for whatever reason it never occurred to me that, for some, this is an involuntary move. I like the idea of multi generational living but not in these particular circumstances 😅. My jaw was on the floor when you showed the clip of the young lady purposely not leaving the family home because she didn’t want to cook, clean, or have a small place; that’s when I really felt the cultural difference because even as kids/teens we needed to contribute to the household and do chores. But I guess it goes back to what you were saying about how a lot of mothers are taught and conditioned to “stick to their role” and their role in this case I guess is being the sole caretaker of the house. My hope is that the current generation experiencing this can break the cycle but it definitely sound like it will be tough (especially considering the cost of living and birth rate crisis)
Alot of adult children live with their parents in various cultures because they contribute to the household. My friend is of African descent and just moved out of her parents' home because she got married. I think it's only strange in America. Where we get kicked to the curb at 18. 😂
Especially in AA culture my parents were like at 18yr old your out. I had to get an apartment while I was working, going school full time, and just learning about adulthood. My parents made my siblings and I lives harder doing BS like this.
I'm so sorry you had to struggle like that. you didn't even get to enjoy that part of your life after highschool because you were pounding the pavement trying to afford rent@@serenity8901
Megan you look more beautiful every single damn video! I’ve seeing your growth for so many years 😭😭👏🏾👏🏾💛
I live in America and feel like my mom did this to us. My dad is always awful to her but she won't leave him and pours all her time into her kids. After hitting 18, I went to college and would pay her rent money and buy whatever else she wanted even though I couldn't afford to move out on my own. Finally got a great job and relationship and left but I didn't get out until I was 27 and feel like it stunted my personal growth as an adult. My sister is mid twenties and still living there and has to pay nothing or do nothing and they do everything for her so she won't leave like I did.
Good that's their family. They need to build on their families. The sons and daughters should you remember to honor their mother and father and great-grandparents during ancestral rights.
Please pllleeeeeaae upload tomorrow so we have something positive to watch 🙏🏽♥️
Where I live, we have family homes where there are two or three apartments on two or three floors in the same house. So technically, the children don't live with their parents, but they are in the same building.
same arrangement here with a multi gen family of 8 people incl kids in 3 apts of a 6 apt building we have personal space but all 3 gens as well our pets are all still up in each other's bizness most days ..lol...it's crazy but it works🙏
I’m Korean but grew up overseas so I moved out pretty early because I wanted to be independent and feel accomplished but moving out initially was difficult because of mom’s separation anxiety. She made me feel guilty for ‘abandoning’ the family. So initially when I moved out, I had to ease into it by staying weekdays at my place and weekends at parents’ or vice versa. Now they’re used to it but it was not easy convincing her initially
In my West Indian background, most children stay home until they get married or sometimes they even stay after they get married until they can afford to build a house (cash!). I grew up in the states so my mom pushed me to leave at 17 to go away to college. It was fun but I’m in so much debt it’s not even funny 😢. My husband mostly lived at home throughout undergrad and had no debt from college. So, we have children today. Our children will stay home through college, get a good job and then hopefully move out. Hopefully 🤞. I won’t force them out, unless they are terrible which I don’t see happening since so far they are wonderful children. But I will encourage them to live their lives post college/certification. The debt isn’t worth it for early independence.
I studied abroad in SK and I actually loved that the culture is so close. I wish my parents held more firmly to the West Indian way of keeping close to family. I think my mom wanted bragging rights 😅.
I’m going to the moon: I like your hair?! Lol
I live in the UK in my 30s still live with my Colombian mum and Colombians families also have this same issue while we live with mum and dad, mum will be the one cook my meals and do the laundry
I'm south asian and this is true in my country as well.. I'm 31 and still living with my parents because I'm still unmarried.. Here unless you're married or works so far away from home then they're still living with their parents.. The cost of living and house cost is too high 😢
I wish you would translate the Korean parts, because I listen to it like a podcast on my walk to work.
People don’t talk about how parents can be toxic and not everyone wants to live at home and it’s not always a beautiful amazing thing.
A lot people wants to live in big houses until they realize how much chores and bills they actually have to do on their own. Also, what some adults don't realize before moving out is how much their parents do stuff for them: household budgeting, groceries, laundry, house cleaning, meals.
Korean born and raised in Germany and moved out for uni right after high school - any my mom hated it 😂 i think she just recently made peace with me not living at home anymore - and I'm 42 now
I currently don't live in Korea but that girl saying she doesn't want to live in a small rented place makes me think, at least she has that option to rent a small place and she can choose, but in Europe in a lot of the capitals that one small place is ridiculously expencive and even harder to secure that rent because of not enough places available and lots of people "fighting" for the same place.
Nobody wants to start out, if not at the bottom then at least at entry-level, and then earn their way up, whether its a job or housing or their first house or whatever. Its not about fear, they just expect to be supported in the manner to which they've become accustomed. And thats not just a Korean thing!
I have family members in the US that live this way and it was expected.
Alot of young people doesn't have a realistic expectation of what life in early 20s is like. You don't move out to a big house like the one you live with your parents. Young people don't want to downgrade without realizing that their parent also had to live in a small house before moving to a big house after 10 years of working....
Hello Moon Family💕💕💕💕
Please do more vlogs!
I live with my mother. When I was 18 I moved to NY to go to college and was iving with my grandmother. She got sick so my mom moved NY to help take care of her. Grandma got worse and then she passed away. Queu depresion period. Decided to stay with mom until I could get a job and save up for my own appartment. Queu unsussesful job search and interviews. Another period of depresion. Got into educational programs. Mom got sick, longest 6 months without her of my life. She needed a home care aid to be able to be dischard. Got myself approved and assinged as her care aid. After years of not having a stable job I get one taking care of her.
This is my situation now ,got married and moved out but my mum wont let me be,i have to give back to her on whatever i get and she is on her 40s.
I'm Bengali and our culture is very similar, sons are expected to live with their parents their whole lives even after they're married and daughters are expected to live at home until they're married. Overall I'd say living with our parents is pretty normal for us at any age, the whole "moving out as an adult" thing is a pretty western concept - I don't see an issue with it until it comes to the people who WANT to move out but can't bc of cultural norms/expectations. We're not just freeloading either, many adult sons and daughters start contributing towards bills etc or just straight up give their parents money once they land a stable job/career.
I moved back in with my parents here in America. Thankfully, I was home when my mom fell and broke her hip and wrist. Sure my siblings and sister in law would always say shit like when you move out, we can be friends. But who was there to take care of my mom? I was. They didn't come around but to give her flowers, spend less than an hour visiting her and were on their way. I like being there to take care of my parents and as the eldest, will more than likely need to do so.
jajaja creo que en méxico también hacemos eso .
N here in India, we live our whole life with parents or in laws😂. I don't hate the system if in laws know how to behave. It provides grandkids a safe space after parents.
We have a saying that "grandkids r last frnd of grandparents and grandparents are first frnd of tge child"
I remember when my son turned 18 he said i guess i have to move out now .i was suprised i said no but i would like for you to find something that interest you in collage or get a job and save some money so when you do decide to go you wont have to struggle so now he has a job going to collage and playing in a sport he really likes so im happy.
You’re a great person and parent for thinking this way. Sadly, I struggled due to my parents lack of support once my siblings and I turned 18. I thought even at 18 you had me and brought me into this crazy world. I wasn’t a problem child got mostly As, worked and was headed to community college before attending a university. They are the money hungry type but had 4 kids. Why would a 18 yr old going to a community college 10-15 mins away from home need an apartment instead of saving. Plus I didn’t get financial aid because my parents made to much so I paid for my schooling and books. let me just say I’m in my 30s and fully cut my parents off for many reasons.
@@serenity8901tbh 18 is too young to expect a child to move out and be gone. what money do you even have at that age
Latino families are the same!! Brazil and Korea have so much in common when it comes to family!!
Hi Megan Moon, your thumbnail really stood out! With professional video editing, you could boost your views significantly. Would you be interested in discussing this further?
I think some parents breed an anxiety into you that you can't survive without them. Only once you move out do you realize life is not that complicated. This coupled with high rent prices means more ppl stay at home.
I have kicked out my children several times but they keep coming back, even bringing the grandkids with them. I bought them each an apartment and one of them rented it out and came back home. 😢 I love them all but….please, right now we have 2 grandkids and their parents, one son and his girlfriend plus hubby and me. I want to run away to an apartment and leave them all in the house.
I could see the perfectionism and gaslighting. Each culture around the globe has their own issues and downsides. Here in the states we have large chunks of families that might have the likeness of family w/ little substance and a lot of ok there’s the door at 18. Abandonment to sink or swim. Focus on self vs connection. a lot don’t successfully transition out of that or into successful healthy adulthood. What SKs dealing with seems slightly different. same stew with just a different flavor.
I think parents kick their kids out at 18 only if they’re trouble makers or maybe the parent can’t afford to take care of them. But a lot of adults live with their parents nowadays. I think the difference is that most parent don’t try to guilt the kids to stay home. That’s weird.
some children don’t even make it to 18 but end up in the system. Some children escape at 18 cuz the home they are in is hell and not a home. Some children escape at 18 to just continue a life of abuse as they experienced. Some children are raised in such strict and unbending realities that they crumble under the strain or escape to spend decades attempting to learn how to self parent and become a person who doesn’t do the same to their kids. But if a parent “kicks” their kid out at 18… there is a lot more going on and very most likely not a bad kid.
@@michellek6581Exactly my siblings and I were told at 18 we had to go. This was my dad money hungry decision. My mom never went against him even when he was wrong. We had to pay for college, car, and apartment ourselves. U.S. school system had us add our parents who made too much money which prevented financial aid. My sister and I fully cut ties with our parents. We’re both in our 30s now and still struggle and suffer from childhood trauma. I went to sleep at the wheel of my car in my 20s trying to get through life in a world I never asked to be in. I was so tired from working and stressed about test and paying bills. Did my parents care that we suffered no. It was a narcissistic game. Yet, they talked to people about God and made people think they were good people by giving them money while we suffered. It’s a crazy mind game to understand for some, but it happens. Reason I don’t judge people or give my opinion on certain things. After talking to family members in 2024 I finally found out they all knew my parents we’re apiece of S*** It was a relief and helped my mental health because my parents went around telling lies like they helped us become what we are. 😂 I just 🙏🏾 and keep it moving.
This is normal for all Asian countries though and most of the world really. Its only Europe and USA where parents kick you out at 18 years old lol
I’ve noticed that a lot of men who are older live with their mom and dad. They date around just to get sex but have no intention of getting married or being committed even up into their 40s. And now I wonder if it’s because they are taking care of their parents and they don’t think they can find somebody who would understand that.
those are the men we drop. ain't nobody got time for that
@ Absolutely but I just talk to people because I genuinely am baffled by the men here in Korea 😂
This kind of thing happens in a lot of cultures. Two of my BILs in their 30s still live at home, and now a girlfriend has moved in. They had a chance to buy a small apartment on a social housing scheme for like half of what they usually cost and with us chipping in they could have owned it outright within two years. But they didn't take it, because their adult sons wouldn't have had space. So they prefer living in a delapitated house with steep stairs and the kids don't even pay rent. And that's in Central Europe. MIL also does all of the housekeeping for everyone.
that's sad... bunch of lazy people
I’ve heard about this a lot… but then I am curious what would happen if there is a fatal accident and the person left alone but previously they lived only with parents… been taken care of parents…? What that kind of person would do then when they haven’t been any issues previously because of their parents taking care of them? No judgment or anything but just a bit curious and maybe a bit worried in general (?). In our culture we want to separate as soon as possible from our parents (that is the norm). If you can’t then it is more financial issue or if there is health issue. But other than that, as soon as possible we move out. We care about our parents of course, but we want to make our own path and lives. But yeah it is just culture thing. It’s just so fascinating to get to know more about different culture aspects ❤
It makes for a very unhealthy, codependent relationship. I am not opposed to my adult children living with me when they are going to college but once they graduate and find a job, I expect them to want to move out to be their own person. Because at home, they still have to live by their parent's rules. Also, there is no expectation of kids looking after their parents here in the US. My kids say, "mom we will look after you in your old age". And I am like, "don't worry about me, please just worry about looking after yourself." Which is realistic because the world is getting so much more competitive, what with AI and climate change disruptions, that I will just be happy if my kids make it on their own.
❤ your mindset
I’m early again
All of my siblings and me lived with our mom until we were financially stable to move out or got married. It wouldn't bother me if my spouse still lived with his family. It would bother me if they didn't teach him no life skills. Also, if you are living at home with your parents you definitely should contributing to the household. My mom and stepdad charged me and my sister $300 a month while we lived there.
That pattern is seen also in a lot of third world countries (in my experience in latin america). Generational poverty may have a lot to do with it too in the latin american countries.
Living in 🇺🇸 and some of what you've spoken about happens here. Some seniors are afraid of living by themselves and many ( when they worked in their younger years) did not participate in retirement programs offered by employers, believing that drawing Social Security would be enough.😢😢
01/20/2025
07:45 that reminds me of Cersei Lannister from Game of thrones survival guide to marriage
Especially her speech to Sansa during Season 2
That’s not a good sign
Wooo Go Knights!! 🌴