0:00 - Dust Collector 0:26 - Just Take My Wallet (Jack Stauber) 1:45 - Still Life (Sitcom) 5:05 - Hey Kids (Molina) 8:56 - Six Forty Seven (Instupendo) 10:53 - Limerence (Yves Tumour) 16:23 - hi (temporex) 17:48 - Tidal Tempest Past (slowed) 21:58 - nice boys (temporex) (slowed + reverb) 26:06 - Deep Swim (Windows 96) 30:23 - school rooftop intro but sadder 32:29 - Homage (Mild High Club) 35:27 - Fallen Down (slowed + reverb) 39:36 - It’s just a burning memory (The Caretaker) 43:09 - Mice On Venus (but make it *E X T R A* nostalgic) 45:44 - We Don’t Have Many Days (The Caretaker) 49:16 - aglow (karamel kel) 51:35 - Id Rather Sleep (Kero Kero Bonito) 53:28 - New Normal (Jack Stauber) 54:50 - Never (Mag.Lo) 1:01:15 - Late afternoon drifting (The Caretaker) 1:04:50 - canals (pilotredsun) (slowed+reverb)
Why l feel ugly? Why they yell at me? Everything is my fault??? Do l need feel guilty? Why l alwasy trying think positive? Why l alwasy feel lost everything? Maybe l should forget these...and be happy! (Have good day cutie
as a 16 yr old I have w/ constant bullying, like everybody including my parents are bullying me, I even got SA'd by my own father, im trying so hard to stay on.
I’m so sorry. I hope you can feel better. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve dealt with bullies before, which often had me victimblamed by the school. I was also sexually harassed by the girls who bullied me in the seventh grade. I’m so sorry for what you went through, but this trauma won’t last forever. God bless you.
Hello Everyone, you may never know me and that's okay... but, my name is MaskyZard, and i was a sad lonely teenager like everyone else, i told myself i was going to end it all on my 18th birthday, but now... im 20 gonna be 21 soon... i have a good life and a good home now, yes i did things that weren't awesome like Hurting myself and smoking and drinking but... i got through it and i know you will all get through this i believe in every single one of you, and i know the world isn't fair right now but it will get better i promise, so please everyone stay alive and stay safe
"Mom, I think he's trying to do something with me.." "Don't mind him, just stop hugging him." ---- "Mom, his arms went lower than my shoulders.." "Why did you hug him again?" "He forces me.." "Oh, ok." ----- "My hips.." "Stop. Hugging. Him." "I can't.." _ "M-Mom, he.." "Mom..?" "Mom, please listen.." "Mom.."
hello. i'm a teenager, in middle school. i love my school, i trust my friends there. but one day it just broke. i was s/a'ed by my bestfriend. i have been suffering with mental health problems and i am on the urge of relapsing, i have been clean (SH) for 1 year, but im feeling shitty again. i tried to do the best i could in school, but my grades were dropping either way. my grades has been dropping ever since 2024, i used to get A+'s now its slowly turning into A's, A-'s, and slowly to F's. i did everything i could yet i was never enough. i tried being a good friend but at the end, i'm never a first option. im not even an option, i never was an option from the start. this is my last year, i feel sad but i feel relieved. i've been feeling really weird nowadays, everything feels so wrong. everything keeps getting bigger or smaller, and has been getting further and closer. but if i touch something that i see close, its further away then i saw it was. i've been hearing things and seeing things, but along the way- i've made some friends. they're black figures, they always appear when i'm down. they told me their names were Andy and Rindy. thats all, i hope you all have a nice day
Hello,have you tried contacting a help line?,i know its scary,but in times like these venting to someone who can listen to you could really help Sorry for my bad English
i cannot control how angry i get and i hurt my siblings physically and i isolate myself in my room to prevent fights because im actually a fucking monster when i get angry and i hate myself for it and i always wanna kms because of it. sorry i vented
I am so so sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I would usually try to give some advice but I'm still trying to find the answers after two psyche ward trips and the damage ive done to my relationships. if I could give advice, id say definitely listen to your body. where does it hurt the most when you feel that way? massaging those pressure points might help during a bad time. square breathing does work, but for me personally its just weirdly hard to do it. I just hate trying to relax when I want to explode, but I cant break old coping mechanisms with wishes alone, im afraid. its so hard trying to forgive yourself when you see how easy it is to slip back and lose everyones trust again. and its life's cruel joke that forgiving yourself is the only real way to learn from your mistakes. I'll finish my rant here but I'm genuinely wishing you and your loved ones the best.
I think you should get therapy, and you should apologize to your siblings:) don’t blame yourself, you deserve to be happy, and you are a good person ^^
I’m sorry. You will get through this. I’m going through a hard time right now, too! My parents have given me some great advice, but it’s hard to trust them unlike before. It doesn’t last forever, though. I’m so proud of you for making it here, and you’re never alone!
You know you shouldn't have been a father when your child asks your mother for a new daddy when they're 4. I dont care how much you change now. You loved showing me off to your friends as the "smart kid of the family" but you abandoned me as soon as I started disagreeing with you. You did the same to my older sister. It's too late for you to change, i wish you actually walked out on us instead of being a walking reminder of what I never got, a loving father.
You are not just a object to show off you are a amazing person a person that has been through a lot and deserves a rest you may be plagued by bad memories but you can replace them with better ones that make the pain hurt a little less he does not deserve to plague your mental space it is your and only yours keep it clean and happy
My traumas are horrible, yet i feel like i dont care about them anymore. If i could grow apathetic towards them so fast, maybe it wasnt even that bad lol
I understand you. My best friend wanted to give up. But the police found her and back her to home. I don't know what would be with my besty if not the police. I'm sorry for your loss (sorry for my bad English)
I feel that my life isnt so hard. Its really all in my head tbh. I overcomplicate things and feel strongly about small things. It's so easy to get in a slump, and its so difficult to get out. Happiness is in my hands, i can js do my work, maybe struggle abit here and there, go to school on time, eat on time, wake up and sleep on time. Its all simple things that shld be habits already. However, its js so hard to be consistent. Its harder to get out of a slump i know but its so familiar and comforting. I know im gna struggle either way, be it doing nth or working towards something. Its js hard to have good habits, and i hate being in control all the time. What if im js tired, what if i cant be my cheerleader all the time?? Im weak, comfortable with this familiar sadness, and im miserable. I'll have to pick myself up soon cuz i know it'l affect others, as well as my future. I js wish its easier each time i fuck up, im so tired. With all my experience, with all that ive learnt, applying them is so hard.
I understand that you're tired. I understand that you're sick of this. I understand that you want to give up. I understand that you're in pain. I understand that you're struggling. I understand that you're insecure. I understand that your trauma has affected you. I understand that you're feeling lazy. I understand that you're feeling angry. I understand that you're feeling sad. I understand that you feel different. I understand that your feelings misunderstood. I understand that you're feeling uneasy. I understand that you're feeling weird. I want you to understand what makes you human. You listen to me. It's okay to feel angry, sad, weird, sick, different, etc. There is NOTHING wrong with you for staying up all night crying. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling emotional or emotionless. Your age has NOTHING to do with how you act or how you feel your not too young to understand abuse. you're not too young to have trauma. you deserve to be understood. and you don't deserve to be suffering. you're not a bad person for trying to express emotions. people make mistakes and there's nothing wrong with you for it. It's okay. You're okay. you can cry It's healthy and good for you. don't bottle up emotions. I'm proud of you for getting this far in life. you are strong even if you don't feel like it. not everyone manages to get this far. so believe me when i tell you, you're strong. Ily guys we are just people we shouldn't be asked this much of. just be yourself it doesn't matter how you feel express your emotions. you're not attention seeking your being human. and there's nothing wrong with that
okay since we're venting in the comments i decided maybe i should let out my own feelings, too im sick of feeling abandoned, im so sick of feeling his hands on me, im sick of knowing he wants/wanted me in that way, im sick of remembering what he said to me, what he said he wanted to do to me, im sick of his stupid idea of a "joke" being a comment about borderline r@ping me. Why did I deserve to have to deal with all of this? Why do I have to have to deal with all of this? What did I do that was so awful to make me suffer so much??? its not fair.
I can't say your life will change tomorrow or it might be better when I say so... but, you're brave, you've been holding this a long time, am I right? You're strong because you're still here.... and I have faith that you are able to get help... but you know, help won't appear in front of you until you decide to seek it.
life is so bad, im gonna get so messed up tomorrow i hope i forget for a bit. my own dad has been doing stuff to me since i can remember but mainly in my sleep and probably whenever i was little and took a bath. i only noticed when i was 11 and just brushed it off. (im 15 now) i dont remember anything else, oh god im so sad about this
This isn’t okay does anybody know about this? Your school guidance counselor can help you cope but I can’t say they do much. Still worth a try telling them though.
Is it bad to want to die when I'm 14? Well... Mom said it's just my age. Maybe not. Maybe it will end... I hope. Maybe I could just die in that day and not stopping myself? That would be better.
@@aKyVa_u3_uKeu I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things work out with the psychologist and you feel better soon. We're just strangers, but whoever you are, I'm rooting for you.
Don't blame yourself or age, Mental health issues can happen at any age and it's not your fault. I started isolating myself when I was young, And my family told me that I was depressed (it was pretty obvious). I've been depressed since then, Never had a proper diagnosis since my family is struggling with money, So I have to depend on self-diagnosis and online tests. It's never your fault. I hope you figure it out with your psychologist soon.
maybe it was all my fault, maybe i should just stay quite as she slowly slipped out of me, out of my mind, out of my life… did it even have a solution? or i was just fighting for a love not meant to be? i know it wasn't, i always knew that, but it still hurts to see her, laughing, smiling, forgetting about me… did she even love me back? or at least was she interested?… i mean, who would be interested in such a mentally unstable person… maybe i just need someone to tell me it wasn't my fault, but it won't work, i know it was all my stupid fault. maybe i just need her to hug me, to tell me why she did that, to kiss me again and never let me go, but that will never happen…
hey, i experienced that last year and i know how it hurts to love someone even more than we love ourselves, but if you allow me to give you an advice, id tell u to try taking care of urself and keeping distance from her (if its possible), like stop stalking her social media and stuff cause the best way to get out of an emocional dependency is forgetting her or trying it until u get todo it. i did that and its been abt 1 year i dont talk to my ''ex'' ,and i feel better now. i remember all we lived and now it doesnt hurt so much, cuz i can see everything with kinda other eyes. try to focus on urself and its NOT ur fault, no matter what happened, dont feel guilty for loving someone, its ok to fall in love and it happens to all of us everything will be ok at the end
You can’t people love you and deep down you know you love you to I may not even know you but I love you it’s not worth taking away years of bliss for a few minutes of pain I know it hurts right now but you will get through it because you are strong and you are loved I know it hurts and it feels like a black void that you can’t crawl out of but you can I believe in you I promise it will be ok no matter how much it hurt it will be ok I promise.
I don’t know who your asking but I will grant your wish I’m sorry…. I’m sorry that you had to go through the things you had to go through…. I’m sorry that you never got a apology sooner but I want to give you one now…. I’m sorry that the world isn’t as perfect as people like to make it out to be but it gets better I promise as long as you control your little world the way you want to then it’s perfect.
Im not perfect, im sorry to everyone, who believed i n me, im such a mess. Im sorry. Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry Im sorry
im sorry, my baby. Im a stranger but i love you deeply, i know this trauma has left a cut on you but remember, keep living life, alright? i don't want that bad man to be a barrier from all of the stuff a child or a human does like going to school, being productive and having friends. Being sa'd doesn't mean its the end of your life, i was once too. I know your in a rocky road currently but i promise it'll be alright, i love you! keep living, my baby! im proud of you 🫶
What made you think that I wanted this? I never wanted to move to another city in the first place... I miss her everyday, I was seven. A part of me will hate you forever, for what have you done to me, the traumas you've caused me will never dissapear, an empty apology is not going to fix it, you only make me wanna die more faster. SHUT UP.
I'm sorry if I wasn't a good person, it's just that your screams and your touches made my body uncomfortable. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please stop touching me Please, stop saying that I abuse you, you abuse of my kindness. I don't wanna to cut myself, please, stop hurting me like that.
I’m 12. I’m planning on kms at the end of this month or on November 15th. Why November 15th? Because every time I look at a clock it always says 11:15, AM or PM. Why at the end of this month well I wanted to do it earlier like right now and really everyday but it’s because school starts on august 26th and if I get bullied just ONE more time I will jump off my roof or shoot myself. My birthday’s in October so I kinda (?) wanna live till then just because I’ll turn 13 but at the same time nothings gonna change and life is just shitty so there really isn’t any reason. I’ll update this comment every month. When I stop is when I’m probably dead. Stay safe out there guys
@@Opened_Oats thank you, and I’m so sorry that someone so young would have to go thru something that would make them wanna kill themselves when they’re that age. I hope you’re doing amazing rn and if you aren’t I hope you will be doing amazing very soon 💗💗
Reading this broke my heart a bit. I remember being in your shoes like it was yesterday. I'm 25 now, and I know you've probably heard it a million times but... it does get, at least, easier. I remember feeling like it was hopeless, and I'll be real there are still days where its hard to find a reason to keep going- but the absence of you will always be felt. The world needs more good in it, more people that can look back and say "I stood where you stood. Let me take your hand, I'll help". Don't let the bastards get you down and remember its okay to cry and ask for help.
Nobody's a bad person. people may do things that others would say are bad but it's really about perspective I really don't believe anyone is bad because people can always do good things. who am I to tell someone they are evil when what they are doing may feel right to them. You can just follow your heart.. but it's understandable that when you try to help you sometimes hurt the ones you care for. but don't think of yourself as a bad person. because i have faith that you aren't. even if you're a stranger.
@@nicophu People act the way they do usually in a result of trauma. I'm not saying what he did was right because of course it is wrong very wrong and if i met someone like him in person i would prob start an argument with them- although he clearly wasn't in the right state of mind. Bad people don't think they are bad.what he did was wrong and I hope his victims are resting in peace. Mr. fish's family had a track of mental illnesses i believe he was affected with that, he was psychically abused in an orphanage he was sent too after his fathers passing he was NOT in the right mind and I'm glad he was caught. The things he did were wrong. his actions were wrong. But once again peoples behavior is because of environmental factors and genetic mutations. I have no right to just put someone into a category of bad because he did bad things. when someone can do good things and one bad thing and usually get scolded for that one bad thing. (Idk what to say bro i was just trynna help someone feel a bit better TvT)
@@allygamerkid0 i kind of agree but at the same time i dont, cause yes nobody is BORN a bad person, but they can be turned into a bad person. if that makes sense
Recuerdo que de niño estaba enamorado de Ruby Jerins a su edad de 12 y quería ir con ella a esos lugares, me gustaba mucho esa chica, y este video me recuerda ese viejo y hermoso amor de niño
Oh, I was about to be a little silly and then realized that this comment is really recent. I love you. I can’t promise shit, but I can tell you there’s a point where the concept of suicide doesn’t even feel real anymore. 💛💛💛💛
@@pipirrupfromuh there's a good video on every way and how it hurts to discourage suicide, if you can, watch it, it might help. It helped me when I was about to do something regrettable. Also off topic but Pip lovers unite.
Bad times in your life are only ever temporary and believe me, there are hundreds of people struggling alongside you. Mostly all of our lives are like this and by that I mean the general population. There are probably people close to you who have experienced similar things but you just don’t know. I say this because I know you could feel alone, or hopeless, but you’re not. Sometimes life hates us but not because it chose specifically us, it just happens. So you push through. Be “selfish”, take care of yourself, and do things that serve your best interest but don’t forget to be kind. Your life isn’t about others, it’s about you, and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. Once the bad moment (hours, years) is over, you’ll be like “ooh, that wasn’t too bad. Oh here comes another one. Oh! That was terrible but I got through it, so it’s proof that I’m strong. Now I know what I can handle, I should respect myself for that.” Most importantly, when you’re comfortable, focus on your future. Try not to let your present decisions hinder that, but if not, that’s okay I don’t mean to rant, but I hope something about that helps, if not now, then later.
please dont scream at me please dont touch there dont scratch me leave me alone i was 9 i had no idea how it would be like that. please leave me alone :(
0:00 - Dust Collector 0:26 - Just Take My Wallet (Jack Stauber) 1:45 - Still Life (Sitcom) 5:05 - Hey Kids (Molina) 8:56 - Six Forty Seven (Instupendo) 10:53 - Limerence (Yves Tumour) 16:23 - hi (temporex) 17:48 - Tidal Tempest Past (slowed) 21:58 - nice boys (temporex) (slowed + reverb) 26:06 - Deep Swim (Windows 96) 30:23 - school rooftop intro but sadder 32:29 - Homage (Mild High Club) 35:27 - Fallen Down (slowed + reverb) 39:36 - It’s just a burning memory (The Caretaker) 43:09 - Mice On Venus (but make it E X T R A nostalgic) 45:44 - We Don’t Have Many Days (The Caretaker) 49:16 - aglow (karamel kel) 51:35 - Id Rather Sleep (Kero Kero Bonito) 53:28 - New Normal (Jack Stauber) 54:50 - Never (Mag.Lo) 1:01:15 - Late afternoon drifting (The Caretaker) 1:04:50 - canals (pilotredsun) (slowed+reverb)
maybe i dont want to heal
maybe i just wanna lay here
and sleep
*forever*
0:00 - Dust Collector
0:26 - Just Take My Wallet (Jack Stauber)
1:45 - Still Life (Sitcom)
5:05 - Hey Kids (Molina)
8:56 - Six Forty Seven (Instupendo)
10:53 - Limerence (Yves Tumour)
16:23 - hi (temporex)
17:48 - Tidal Tempest Past (slowed)
21:58 - nice boys (temporex) (slowed + reverb)
26:06 - Deep Swim (Windows 96)
30:23 - school rooftop intro but sadder
32:29 - Homage (Mild High Club)
35:27 - Fallen Down (slowed + reverb)
39:36 - It’s just a burning memory (The Caretaker)
43:09 - Mice On Venus (but make it *E X T R A* nostalgic)
45:44 - We Don’t Have Many Days (The Caretaker)
49:16 - aglow (karamel kel)
51:35 - Id Rather Sleep (Kero Kero Bonito)
53:28 - New Normal (Jack Stauber)
54:50 - Never (Mag.Lo)
1:01:15 - Late afternoon drifting (The Caretaker)
1:04:50 - canals (pilotredsun) (slowed+reverb)
😊😊😊
Why l feel ugly?
Why they yell at me?
Everything is my fault???
Do l need feel guilty?
Why l alwasy trying think positive?
Why l alwasy feel lost everything?
Maybe l should forget these...and be happy!
(Have good day cutie
I hope u have the brightest future :)
@@Idkstuff_lmao thanks...You very nice :D
@@nilsimulator5525 Yw!! Ur nice 2 :3
@@Idkstuff_lmao aww thanks! Stop being sweet you make me so smiley :D
@@nilsimulator5525 Yw again!! Lol, I'm glad i make u smile. I'm sure ur smile is very pretty / charming :3
i wanna sleep till i can never wake up
Real
Mood.
Please don't do anything that will hurt you.
Can I join you
@@TwistedAgression no stay here
as a 16 yr old I have w/ constant bullying, like everybody including my parents are bullying me, I even got SA'd by my own father, im trying so hard to stay on.
I’m so sorry. I hope you can feel better. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve dealt with bullies before, which often had me victimblamed by the school. I was also sexually harassed by the girls who bullied me in the seventh grade. I’m so sorry for what you went through, but this trauma won’t last forever. God bless you.
Hello Everyone, you may never know me and that's okay... but, my name is MaskyZard, and i was a sad lonely teenager like everyone else, i told myself i was going to end it all on my 18th birthday, but now... im 20 gonna be 21 soon... i have a good life and a good home now, yes i did things that weren't awesome like Hurting myself and smoking and drinking but... i got through it and i know you will all get through this i believe in every single one of you, and i know the world isn't fair right now but it will get better i promise, so please everyone stay alive and stay safe
"Mom, I think he's trying to do something with me.."
"Don't mind him, just stop hugging him."
----
"Mom, his arms went lower than my shoulders.."
"Why did you hug him again?"
"He forces me.."
"Oh, ok."
-----
"My hips.."
"Stop. Hugging. Him."
"I can't.."
_
"M-Mom, he.."
"Mom..?"
"Mom, please listen.."
"Mom.."
Are you okay? Do you need somebody to talk to?
hello. i'm a teenager, in middle school. i love my school, i trust my friends there. but one day it just broke. i was s/a'ed by my bestfriend. i have been suffering with mental health problems and i am on the urge of relapsing, i have been clean (SH) for 1 year, but im feeling shitty again. i tried to do the best i could in school, but my grades were dropping either way. my grades has been dropping ever since 2024, i used to get A+'s now its slowly turning into A's, A-'s, and slowly to F's. i did everything i could yet i was never enough. i tried being a good friend but at the end, i'm never a first option. im not even an option, i never was an option from the start. this is my last year, i feel sad but i feel relieved. i've been feeling really weird nowadays, everything feels so wrong. everything keeps getting bigger or smaller, and has been getting further and closer. but if i touch something that i see close, its further away then i saw it was. i've been hearing things and seeing things, but along the way- i've made some friends. they're black figures, they always appear when i'm down. they told me their names were Andy and Rindy. thats all, i hope you all have a nice day
Hello,have you tried contacting a help line?,i know its scary,but in times like these venting to someone who can listen to you could really help
Sorry for my bad English
i cannot control how angry i get and i hurt my siblings physically and i isolate myself in my room to prevent fights because im actually a fucking monster when i get angry and i hate myself for it and i always wanna kms because of it. sorry i vented
I am so so sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I would usually try to give some advice but I'm still trying to find the answers after two psyche ward trips and the damage ive done to my relationships. if I could give advice, id say definitely listen to your body. where does it hurt the most when you feel that way? massaging those pressure points might help during a bad time. square breathing does work, but for me personally its just weirdly hard to do it. I just hate trying to relax when I want to explode, but I cant break old coping mechanisms with wishes alone, im afraid. its so hard trying to forgive yourself when you see how easy it is to slip back and lose everyones trust again. and its life's cruel joke that forgiving yourself is the only real way to learn from your mistakes. I'll finish my rant here but I'm genuinely wishing you and your loved ones the best.
@@maggies.2037 ty
I think you should get therapy, and you should apologize to your siblings:) don’t blame yourself, you deserve to be happy, and you are a good person ^^
@@H4rumii_1 thank you
Let's be the prettiest girl in the morgue
You’re already one of the prettiest girls outside the morgue though! You’re beautiful right now. Kind, pretty, smart, and amazing.
i don't wanna die, i just hate the life in reality i'm forced to live in
I’m sorry. You will get through this. I’m going through a hard time right now, too! My parents have given me some great advice, but it’s hard to trust them unlike before. It doesn’t last forever, though. I’m so proud of you for making it here, and you’re never alone!
Same...
You know you shouldn't have been a father when your child asks your mother for a new daddy when they're 4.
I dont care how much you change now. You loved showing me off to your friends as the "smart kid of the family" but you abandoned me as soon as I started disagreeing with you. You did the same to my older sister. It's too late for you to change, i wish you actually walked out on us instead of being a walking reminder of what I never got, a loving father.
You are not just a object to show off you are a amazing person a person that has been through a lot and deserves a rest you may be plagued by bad memories but you can replace them with better ones that make the pain hurt a little less he does not deserve to plague your mental space it is your and only yours keep it clean and happy
My traumas are horrible, yet i feel like i dont care about them anymore. If i could grow apathetic towards them so fast, maybe it wasnt even that bad lol
No, they were bad.
i can never get an apology because they are dead
I understand you. My best friend wanted to give up. But the police found her and back her to home. I don't know what would be with my besty if not the police. I'm sorry for your loss
(sorry for my bad English)
I feel that my life isnt so hard. Its really all in my head tbh. I overcomplicate things and feel strongly about small things. It's so easy to get in a slump, and its so difficult to get out. Happiness is in my hands, i can js do my work, maybe struggle abit here and there, go to school on time, eat on time, wake up and sleep on time. Its all simple things that shld be habits already. However, its js so hard to be consistent. Its harder to get out of a slump i know but its so familiar and comforting. I know im gna struggle either way, be it doing nth or working towards something. Its js hard to have good habits, and i hate being in control all the time. What if im js tired, what if i cant be my cheerleader all the time?? Im weak, comfortable with this familiar sadness, and im miserable. I'll have to pick myself up soon cuz i know it'l affect others, as well as my future. I js wish its easier each time i fuck up, im so tired. With all my experience, with all that ive learnt, applying them is so hard.
Change your routine.
I want an apology, but i know i dont deserve it. i never will.
I’m sorry:(( u do deserve love and apology’s. You deserve to be happy, I care abt you
you will ALWAYS deserve an apology, you didnt do anything wrong
Why do I only forget about it when I’m crying?
I understand that you're tired.
I understand that you're sick of this.
I understand that you want to give up.
I understand that you're in pain.
I understand that you're struggling.
I understand that you're insecure.
I understand that your trauma has affected you.
I understand that you're feeling lazy.
I understand that you're feeling angry.
I understand that you're feeling sad.
I understand that you feel different.
I understand that your feelings misunderstood.
I understand that you're feeling uneasy.
I understand that you're feeling weird.
I want you to understand what makes you human. You listen to me.
It's okay to feel angry, sad, weird, sick, different, etc. There is NOTHING wrong with you for staying up all night crying.
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling emotional or emotionless. Your age has NOTHING to do with how you act or how you feel your not too young to understand abuse. you're not too young to have trauma. you deserve to be understood. and you don't deserve to be suffering. you're not a bad person for trying to express emotions. people make mistakes and there's nothing wrong with you for it. It's okay. You're okay. you can cry It's healthy and good for you. don't bottle up emotions. I'm proud of you for getting this far in life. you are strong even if you don't feel like it. not everyone manages to get this far. so believe me when i tell you, you're strong. Ily guys we are just people we shouldn't be asked this much of. just be yourself it doesn't matter how you feel express your emotions. you're not attention seeking your being human. and there's nothing wrong with that
okay since we're venting in the comments i decided maybe i should let out my own feelings, too
im sick of feeling abandoned, im so sick of feeling his hands on me, im sick of knowing he wants/wanted me in that way, im sick of remembering what he said to me, what he said he wanted to do to me, im sick of his stupid idea of a "joke" being a comment about borderline r@ping me. Why did I deserve to have to deal with all of this? Why do I have to have to deal with all of this? What did I do that was so awful to make me suffer so much??? its not fair.
I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that at all people will love you and not in a disgusting way
I can't say your life will change tomorrow or it might be better when I say so... but, you're brave, you've been holding this a long time, am I right? You're strong because you're still here.... and I have faith that you are able to get help... but you know, help won't appear in front of you until you decide to seek it.
@@CyzarusAlexandrovich oh my god ily (platonically) this means a lot to me youre awesome sauce tysm
you deserve better attitude, i hope you will be okay
@@Hi_fRIendSsS tysm man:(
life is so bad, im gonna get so messed up tomorrow i hope i forget for a bit. my own dad has been doing stuff to me since i can remember but mainly in my sleep and probably whenever i was little and took a bath. i only noticed when i was 11 and just brushed it off. (im 15 now) i dont remember anything else, oh god im so sad about this
This isn’t okay does anybody know about this? Your school guidance counselor can help you cope but I can’t say they do much. Still worth a try telling them though.
@@BabyFacedDolly don’t worry I live far far away from him now,, I was just in my feels last night
@@edensilly I do suggest therapy.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. It wasn’t tour fault and he shouldn’t have done that to you. I’m proud of you for making it here.
I think its kinda ironic that people find this kind of music to be weird or unsettling when i genuinely enjoy it. I don't know maybe I'm weird
Is it bad to want to die when I'm 14? Well... Mom said it's just my age. Maybe not. Maybe it will end... I hope. Maybe I could just die in that day and not stopping myself? That would be better.
14 was a miserable time for me too, but life gets better as the world opens up. Sometimes, it's all about finding what makes you happy.
@@Smigsby Unfortunately, my condition got to such a point that I almost jumped in front of a train. I'm currently working with a psychologist.
@@aKyVa_u3_uKeu I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things work out with the psychologist and you feel better soon. We're just strangers, but whoever you are, I'm rooting for you.
@@aKyVa_u3_uKeu Yg? Research mental health please.
Don't blame yourself or age, Mental health issues can happen at any age and it's not your fault. I started isolating myself when I was young, And my family told me that I was depressed (it was pretty obvious). I've been depressed since then, Never had a proper diagnosis since my family is struggling with money, So I have to depend on self-diagnosis and online tests.
It's never your fault. I hope you figure it out with your psychologist soon.
I feel like getting an apology but at the same time i feel like i dont deserve one. :/
You are worthy and important and DESERVE an apology!
Yes you do.
you deserve it YES
I love u all
we love u too
maybe it was all my fault, maybe i should just stay quite as she slowly slipped out of me, out of my mind, out of my life… did it even have a solution? or i was just fighting for a love not meant to be? i know it wasn't, i always knew that, but it still hurts to see her, laughing, smiling, forgetting about me… did she even love me back? or at least was she interested?… i mean, who would be interested in such a mentally unstable person… maybe i just need someone to tell me it wasn't my fault, but it won't work, i know it was all my stupid fault. maybe i just need her to hug me, to tell me why she did that, to kiss me again and never let me go, but that will never happen…
hey, i experienced that last year and i know how it hurts to love someone even more than we love ourselves, but if you allow me to give you an advice, id tell u to try taking care of urself and keeping distance from her (if its possible), like stop stalking her social media and stuff cause the best way to get out of an emocional dependency is forgetting her or trying it until u get todo it. i did that and its been abt 1 year i dont talk to my ''ex'' ,and i feel better now. i remember all we lived and now it doesnt hurt so much, cuz i can see everything with kinda other eyes. try to focus on urself
and its NOT ur fault, no matter what happened, dont feel guilty for loving someone, its ok to fall in love and it happens to all of us
everything will be ok at the end
I'm very like this style of images, it makes me feel both uneasy and calm at the same time.
hugs for yall
I am tired of trying to reason why I should be alive. Even the people who are supposed to take care of me say I should kms. Maybe I should.
You can’t people love you and deep down you know you love you to I may not even know you but I love you it’s not worth taking away years of bliss for a few minutes of pain I know it hurts right now but you will get through it because you are strong and you are loved I know it hurts and it feels like a black void that you can’t crawl out of but you can I believe in you I promise it will be ok no matter how much it hurt it will be ok I promise.
I want an apology. I know it's not coming, But I want one nevertheless.
I don’t know who your asking but I will grant your wish I’m sorry…. I’m sorry that you had to go through the things you had to go through…. I’m sorry that you never got a apology sooner but I want to give you one now…. I’m sorry that the world isn’t as perfect as people like to make it out to be but it gets better I promise as long as you control your little world the way you want to then it’s perfect.
Im not perfect, im sorry to everyone, who believed i n me, im such a mess. Im sorry.
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
Im sorry
xd
@@hjlkllm6608 ?
You're not mess, I know you're very nice and beautiful person, your parents love you. and you should love yourself
This is actually rly comforting i love this
Sometimes I just want to sleep and not wake up...
I still feel his hands on me. I still sense eyes looking at it happen. At school, in class, why me?
im sorry, my baby. Im a stranger but i love you deeply, i know this trauma has left a cut on you but remember, keep living life, alright? i don't want that bad man to be a barrier from all of the stuff a child or a human does like going to school, being productive and having friends. Being sa'd doesn't mean its the end of your life, i was once too. I know your in a rocky road currently but i promise it'll be alright, i love you! keep living, my baby! im proud of you 🫶
HOLY SITCOM??!?!?!?!??!!?/ IM GONNA EXPLODE EVERYTHINGS OKAY NOW I LOVE SITCOM THIS IS MY FAVORITE HAPPY SONG
I literally can feel this in my soul.
What made you think that I wanted this? I never wanted to move to another city in the first place... I miss her everyday, I was seven. A part of me will hate you forever, for what have you done to me, the traumas you've caused me will never dissapear, an empty apology is not going to fix it, you only make me wanna die more faster. SHUT UP.
Why is youtube recommending this a year late
fr :(
Fr
frr
I don't think playlists ever become late the music still like. exists
@@Unoriginal-Username69 yea but playlists are convenient yk
I pooped my pants
Real
I feel u brotha
Man this hits
I started hurting myself since 5.. i was only 5. for some reasons... :(
(now im 11 and i still hurt myself..)
why do i like the music even if i dont have trauma
Why do i hate myself? My life isnt that bad?
me
i'm so tired lmao
Dw
it might be getting better for once
❤️
I was four. What made you think I knew any better?
This is a good playlist to listen when on the floor staring at the ceiling
Day three of staying up all niht with anxiety
Do you want to share more about that experience?
@@Mr.Axolotl347 i mean all it is me sleeping like normal then BAM awake totaly wired and covered in sweat then i stay up all nitgh
@@bugbites-j7f What do you think some possible reasons for that might be?
@@Mr.Axolotl347 no idea it just happens so i stay up all nt and slee during the day
@@bugbites-j7f I think it's good that you're thinking about it
ezra, i hope you know that you matter to me more than anything, my bestfriend in my heart forever until then.
yo thats my baby brothers name
@@QueenPorphyria cool
@@user-un7cl3ut5c ye
It’s a Great playlist omg ❤❤❤
❤❤❤ Thank you for this
underrated
this sound like disassociation
Freaking out about guilbert grapes mom again...
I'm sorry if I wasn't a good person, it's just that your screams and your touches made my body uncomfortable.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
please stop touching me
Please, stop saying that I abuse you, you abuse of my kindness.
I don't wanna to cut myself, please, stop hurting me like that.
I’m tired
Real
Same
ily Lilyx
just vibin' 17:48
I’m 12. I’m planning on kms at the end of this month or on November 15th. Why November 15th? Because every time I look at a clock it always says 11:15, AM or PM. Why at the end of this month well I wanted to do it earlier like right now and really everyday but it’s because school starts on august 26th and if I get bullied just ONE more time I will jump off my roof or shoot myself. My birthday’s in October so I kinda (?) wanna live till then just because I’ll turn 13 but at the same time nothings gonna change and life is just shitty so there really isn’t any reason. I’ll update this comment every month. When I stop is when I’m probably dead.
Stay safe out there guys
NO DONT PLZ, THINGS WILL GET BETTER (im turning 12 on nov 15th)
i almost killed myself when i was 7 its painful please dont. your loved 💗💗
@@Opened_Oats thank you, and I’m so sorry that someone so young would have to go thru something that would make them wanna kill themselves when they’re that age. I hope you’re doing amazing rn and if you aren’t I hope you will be doing amazing very soon 💗💗
Reading this broke my heart a bit. I remember being in your shoes like it was yesterday. I'm 25 now, and I know you've probably heard it a million times but... it does get, at least, easier. I remember feeling like it was hopeless, and I'll be real there are still days where its hard to find a reason to keep going- but the absence of you will always be felt. The world needs more good in it, more people that can look back and say "I stood where you stood. Let me take your hand, I'll help".
Don't let the bastards get you down and remember its okay to cry and ask for help.
@@itsEmiko stay safe ok? your strong!!
Am I a bad person?
Nobody's a bad person. people may do things that others would say are bad but it's really about perspective I really don't believe anyone is bad because people can always do good things. who am I to tell someone they are evil when what they are doing may feel right to them. You can just follow your heart.. but it's understandable that when you try to help you sometimes hurt the ones you care for. but don't think of yourself as a bad person. because i have faith that you aren't. even if you're a stranger.
@@allygamerkid0 Wait what about albert fish
Well, why are you asking that?
@@nicophu People act the way they do usually in a result of trauma. I'm not saying what he did was right because of course it is wrong very wrong and if i met someone like him in person i would prob start an argument with them- although he clearly wasn't in the right state of mind. Bad people don't think they are bad.what he did was wrong and I hope his victims are resting in peace. Mr. fish's family had a track of mental illnesses i believe he was affected with that, he was psychically abused in an orphanage he was sent too after his fathers passing he was NOT in the right mind and I'm glad he was caught.
The things he did were wrong. his actions were wrong.
But once again peoples behavior is because of environmental factors and genetic mutations.
I have no right to just put someone into a category of bad because he did bad things. when someone can do good things and one bad thing and usually get scolded for that one bad thing.
(Idk what to say bro i was just trynna help someone feel a bit better TvT)
@@allygamerkid0 i kind of agree but at the same time i dont, cause yes nobody is BORN a bad person, but they can be turned into a bad person. if that makes sense
12:33
..................
🤍
Recuerdo que de niño estaba enamorado de Ruby Jerins a su edad de 12 y quería ir con ella a esos lugares, me gustaba mucho esa chica, y este video me recuerda ese viejo y hermoso amor de niño
how to end it without feeling Pain😀
Please dont do it
Oh, I was about to be a little silly and then realized that this comment is really recent. I love you. I can’t promise shit, but I can tell you there’s a point where the concept of suicide doesn’t even feel real anymore. 💛💛💛💛
there is no way, im sorry. even oding you will feel pain, which ive tried. you just gotta go through it, be safe.
@@pipirrupfromuh there's a good video on every way and how it hurts to discourage suicide, if you can, watch it, it might help. It helped me when I was about to do something regrettable. Also off topic but Pip lovers unite.
Bad times in your life are only ever temporary and believe me, there are hundreds of people struggling alongside you. Mostly all of our lives are like this and by that I mean the general population. There are probably people close to you who have experienced similar things but you just don’t know. I say this because I know you could feel alone, or hopeless, but you’re not. Sometimes life hates us but not because it chose specifically us, it just happens. So you push through.
Be “selfish”, take care of yourself, and do things that serve your best interest but don’t forget to be kind. Your life isn’t about others, it’s about you, and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. Once the bad moment (hours, years) is over, you’ll be like “ooh, that wasn’t too bad. Oh here comes another one. Oh! That was terrible but I got through it, so it’s proof that I’m strong. Now I know what I can handle, I should respect myself for that.” Most importantly, when you’re comfortable, focus on your future. Try not to let your present decisions hinder that, but if not, that’s okay
I don’t mean to rant, but I hope something about that helps, if not now, then later.
Underated
Yg>
Папа, почему ты делал больно мне и маме? Мне было примерно 4.
Let me vent? Imposter? 🤨
please dont scream at me please dont touch there dont scratch me leave me alone i was 9 i had no idea how it would be like that. please leave me alone :(
want a virtual hug bby!🩷?
@@kittyChanHikkichan yes please
0:00 - Dust Collector
0:26 - Just Take My Wallet (Jack Stauber)
1:45 - Still Life (Sitcom)
5:05 - Hey Kids (Molina)
8:56 - Six Forty Seven (Instupendo)
10:53 - Limerence (Yves Tumour)
16:23 - hi (temporex)
17:48 - Tidal Tempest Past (slowed)
21:58 - nice boys (temporex) (slowed + reverb)
26:06 - Deep Swim (Windows 96)
30:23 - school rooftop intro but sadder
32:29 - Homage (Mild High Club)
35:27 - Fallen Down (slowed + reverb)
39:36 - It’s just a burning memory (The Caretaker)
43:09 - Mice On Venus (but make it E X T R A nostalgic)
45:44 - We Don’t Have Many Days (The Caretaker)
49:16 - aglow (karamel kel)
51:35 - Id Rather Sleep (Kero Kero Bonito)
53:28 - New Normal (Jack Stauber)
54:50 - Never (Mag.Lo)
1:01:15 - Late afternoon drifting (The Caretaker)
1:04:50 - canals (pilotredsun) (slowed+reverb)
thank youuu!!
Epik