Why We Are Only Having One Child
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
- Why we are only having one child.
We decided after we got pregnant with our first that we would be a one and done family, these are our reasons. And no, she won't lonely just because she is an only child.
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Thank you to every single one of you. You all mean more to me than I could ever describe.
Sending you all the love in the world,
Alexi
Land Acknowledgement: I acknowledge that I occupy the lands of the chalá·at (Hoh), kʷoʔlí·yot’ (Quileute), qʷidiččaʔa·tx̌ (Makah), nəxʷsƛ̕áy̕əm̕ (Klallam), & t͡ʃə́mqəm (Chimacum) peoples.
I express my deepest respect and gratitude for our indigenous neighbors and leaders for their enduring care and protection of our shared lands and waterways.
So good to hear someone being unapologetic about having one child! I love having one kid. I mean, I still feel overwhelmed on an almost daily basis, lol, but especially when it's both of us parenting together, it feels so manageable and our life is so full and so fun
Nothing wrong at all with only one and people need to stick to their business lol. My sister is pregnant with their only one (she's too busy of a career woman and doesn't want to put her body through more than one pregnancy). My husband was an only child and turned out amazing. I was also a middle child of five in a mixed family and I was very lonely, too. I get you there so completely. I think putting all of your attention and resources into one child is a good thing.
Totally agree! I totally get where your sister is coming from, too! Pregnancy is so hard!
I’m 35 I’ll never have a child because I hate the idea of having to think about anyone else besides my self I’m more important then some child
At least you know what’s important to you
@@alexirossi yeah it all depends on the person
💝
@Tree707-t8j how we live once
@Tree707-t8j she sounds extremely selfish. I suspect she expects someone else's child to care for her in her later life.
I say I’m one and done for at least 5 years. I might change my mind later and that’s okay!
Yes! That’s totally okay!
Thank you for being open about this. I have a few personal points: I grew up with married parents and three full siblings, all under the same roof in a traditional household. Despite this, I am not close to any of them and felt very lonely as a child. Resources were stretched extremely thin due to all the children, and my mother was shamed for having so many.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years and have happily chosen not to have children. Although I love kids, I just don't want any. Approaching 40, I am extremely happy with my life, feel fulfilled, and love living on the Olympic Peninsula. Yet, people still give me a hard time about not having children.
Knowing all of this, I have had coworkers in the past who went from pressuring me to have a child to arguing amongst themselves about why I need to have more than one. They then argued about how the child (that doesn't and will never exist) will suffer because this imaginary version of myself that they have created isn't having more children.
Especially when it comes to the subject of parenthood, people can be crazy and love to tell others how they're doing it wrong.
I wish people would put all of that judgmental energy into just being kind, decent people.
That last sentence is gold!!
I’m 41 . I have one. I sincerely thank you for this This is exactly the best friend talk I needed to hear. 😢
Thank you for this video. I can relate to so much of it. I have a three year old daughter, and you are right - it does get better, and the experience just gets richer and richer.
At the same time, as she gets older, I feel more and more like myself and cherish the full night sleeps, that she can play for 5 min on her own, that she has a strong relationship with her father and isn’t relying on my body for sustenance.
I love our family life, as it is. I feel steady and strong and supported.
I’m still wavering about having another child, but your video has been so helpful to reflect on and normalise my feelings.
I relate a lot. I have a two year old little girl. My sister and I are not close, she’s 6 years older. She has a severe mental illness and my mom is her guardian. Growing up my sister had more needs than me. I felt like the little “big” sister a lot of times. My mom was amazing but she had so much on her plate that I didn’t get everything I needed emotionally. I am super close with my mom though. I just never want my daughter to feel that way. My mental health was awful from the lack of sleep for the first 8-9 months. It took 15 months to start feeling better. I have been thriving ever since. I can never go back to that dark place again…it was very scary. I have gone back and forth but if I am being honest, I know my marriage, daughter, and self would be happier and healthier staying just as we are. I love being able to give my daughter all my attention.
I never realized how good me and my brother have it the fact that our brotherly bond is still in tact im about to be 23 he is 25 like we have always been close no matter what mainly cause i never wanted to lose that bond i mean my brother has literally held me while i cried that i tried to end it and he’s been my rock through depression and anxiety but i understand not all siblings are the same
I’m so glad that you have that bond! That’s awesome!
So sweet , glad you have such close bond with your brother. ❤❤
This is so beautiful. Thank you for your time in this video
Valued ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So true. I'm a very attentive parent and hang with my son ALOT so he shouldnt feel very lonely. And i have a mum friend with 2 children we visit now. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Alexi.
Love your well thought out response to this question 🌸 it’s crazy to say but I’m so excited for olive having a mom like you in her life. I always appreciated the thoughtful comments you share about life and now motherhood- the insight is really giving me a more well rounded perspective
That’s such a nice thing to say. Thank you ❤️
Bless you❤I felt this on a personal level. I also come from a broken family background, and it’s amazing how all it takes is one decision from you to be the cycle breaker and try to create a better situation for your own.
So true!
I love this topic Alexi. I hate how the two camps are so extreme. I'm a mom of 3 as I've said, but I always get asked the question if I'm going to try for a boy because I have three girls?? I don't know why anyone assumes that if you only have girls the only logical thing to do would of course to be to try for a boy. I don't even see myself being a boy mum at all. Yes, having siblings does not guarantee they will have a good relationship at all. I've always been the black sheep personally, so I can attest to this as well. And my pregnancies were all horrible as well to the point where I'd say I prefer labor over pregnancy. Great video girl! Do youuu ❤❤❤
I think having three girls sounds perfect!! It's the patriarchy holding on by a thread that makes people think we still all need to have boys. If I didn't have to be pregnant again/or have a newborn again lol I would LOVE another girl.
So true! And even my husband is happy to be a girl dad!! I actually wanted girls each time lol! @alexirossi
Had a girl first. That was what I wanted and only wanted one child. I wound up having a boy 5 years later. Boys are the BEST! Mom’s and their sons. Don’t knock it till you try it. I am so glad I had him. I don’t think patriarchy has anything to do with wanting a boy. My opinion.
@hockeyfan1934 I would have been thankful regardless of the gender, but God gives us all different lots and I'm thankful for mine as you are for yours and as Alexi is for hers. ❤️ I don't think either of us intended to knock having a boy, but more so of the perspective that everyone is different and that's okay.
That’s why I said it’s my opinion. I agree, to each her own. You do you. Nothing but happiness to all!
I relate. Pregnancy morning sickness and then no sleeping for years lol really put me off! And my bladder issues are worse now. I have anxiety snd insomnia and my child is 11 😅 so motherhood is tough. He's still in my bed lol sensory overload having a child. Best of luck ❤
My mom is 1 of 9 kids and she isn’t close to any of them, she feels like the black sheep of the family. I’m an only child and I did have some lonely times (early teens) but my parents were always involved and spent time with me when they could. I did wish I had siblings at times, but for the most part I do appreciate it bc it made me who I am. I love my time alone and love to be creative.
I love to hear that! ❤️
Thank you so much I completely totally agree with you and I so much would love that majority of families in our world would be a family like you! Mother father and only child and you're only child will get really a wonderful development If you parents will keep going stain together this Child will developed your potential much More better than arrest of Kids because she will have enough of attention, advices from you at time love kindness at the same time she will not be Ableton Priest and egoist because except of child in the family also exist marriage and couple relationship end of course in order to have healthy relationship people have to dedicate time to each other to contribute to relationship of each other. So that's why only child incomplete family will never grow up to egoist selfishness and spoiled because exist couple relationship which will also motivate this child have San Francis share with Souls friends because mother and father and the relationship are a great example for this child to be friendly!
Good luck to three of you guys!
👪
Im 35 soon and have 1 11 year old. Im single so i mightve missed out on having another. Few more years to find out but decided to stop rushing just for that reason. ❤ my son is very close to both me and his dad and we have lots of fun. I have 2 sisters, hated them and hated my parents lol bringing up a child with love is whats important.
BLESS THIS VIDEO!!!! we needed this. Exactly why we have ONE. I LOVE it! I was an only child, my husband has 2 sisters. I’ve seen both. This is what we want. Weird how it blows people’s minds.
It’s so weird that people are so opinionated about it!
I have a 13 year old daughter and I’m one and done, good luck to those who want more. ❤❤
I always thought i would have 2 children but then i had the most horrific pregency, my c-section got badly infected, the hosptial treated me like dirt and i got put on a gestional diabetes diet when i didnt need to be.
Postpartum i had horrible depression and i think i went a bit mad seeing things that werent really there, i honsetly thought our flat was haunted at one point 😅😅.
Also i never ever wanna go through a newborn stage again 😅😅. Plus i wanna be able to give our daughter all our energy and time. We also dont want to be struggling with money.
So yeah we are 100 % one and done. 😅😅
No, my child doesn’t need a sibling to fight with.!! I’m enough to fight with her. That’s me telling those who bother me with these dumb questions. 😂😂😂😂
I can do one. But I don’t want to do it again.
My parents each have 3. My mom and her siblings wish death upon each other. I resent my dad’s for stealing our inheritance and constantly inconveniencing.
I grew up poor and teased for it so having one child is all i can handle financially while im single or always in this economy lol
You may have made up your mind but also dont forget in 5 or 10 yrs you can change your mind or your body might accidently change your mind for you haha
Rather than having just one..have NONE... that saves your child from a lifetime of misery, loneliness and missing out on the most important aspect of life: Sibling bond.
I have zero sibling bonds but I can promise I’m not miserable 🙃
@alexirossi being selfish like that is miserable. Others will keep reminding you, if you can't admit to it. Don't think about yourself alone. Your child's future. He will hate you for what you've denied him. I'm an Only child, so I know exactly how it is.
@alexirossi yeah you do not need to come to me with that cr*p.
@@alexirossi people that have only one child on purpose should be criminalised.. it is beyond cruel.
A sibling is the greatest gift you can give to your child.
So is a healthy and happy mother ❤️
I also entirely disagree. If you listened to the video you know how I understand both worlds. My siblings destroyed my confidence and sense of self. They’re the worst relationships I have. They’re definitely not always a gift
@amysill3815,
I am the youngest of 5 children. I am NOT close with any of my siblings. They have all screwed me over. Giving your child a sibling is not always the greatest gift you can give your child. The greatest gifts you can give your child are a quality life and relationship with both parents. Also a healthy life and healthy relationships. Have you ever heard the story of Cain and Able ?
Not when your mother treats you all differently….
I'm the 3rd of 4 kids. (Would be 5/6 but mom had 2 miscarriages before me) Two older sisters and a younger brother by 1 year. Sister #1 is 8.5 years older than me. Sister #2 is 3 years, 7 months older.
The oldest, we are not close at all. The second oldest, occasionally. And I absolutely loathe and despise my so called brother. He was physically abusive when we were in our teens til mid 20s when I cut off all contact. Also threatening to kill me twice.
There is no benefit whatsoever to having, really any kids, but specifically more than 1.
How many adults do you know that are close with their siblings? Or were growing up?
My dad is the oldest of 3. He had one sister and one brother. Only ever close to his sister.
Mom was the youngest of 6. She had 3 brothers and 2 sisters. She was close to one of her sisters and reasonably close to one brother.
My other aunt (mom's oldest sister) and three other uncles, (dad's 1 brother and mom's other 2) I barely knew, if at all.
All these arguments for having multiple kids, particularly these days when everything, from birth to medical bills to cost of living, childcare, food and college, pretty much rules out anyone not making 5 or 6 figures, minimum, a year, being able to afford a kid.