Heroin Addict-Heather
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- Опубликовано: 15 май 2020
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Heather, a heroin addict living on Skid Row.
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Wow thank you for this video she use to be a good friend of mine and I haven't heard from her in over a year wow it breaks my heart if there s anyway of getting a hold of her I would love to talk to her and get her some help 💕 this purpose of these videos are to show you and learn from what real life people go through shmm some of you literally are straight pigs to talk the way you do about another human being you don't like what you see don't watch it and or leave negative comments this one hits home for me ....
Samantha Cadaret Hi Samantha- Heather reminds me of me. She can get help but she also needs to climb out of that self pitty well shes in right now. Self pity never did any addict any favor. Look into Delancey Street Foundation where they have facilities in LA, SF, NY, NC, NM. I swear to God that can help her out of this.
Please get her into the Delancey Street Foundation.
respectfully the first thing she did was start stripping - I do not see this as the usual option for a normal 17 year old - whoopsie - ill just make easy money because I'm lazy and entitled. sorry not sorry.
@Lynn Hexler-Haan yes high and mighty and we are pigs - well why do these people go on RUclips anyway?
@@trixiedelight9874 That's extremely rude to say about someone that actually has the heart to care about their friend.. Some people feel as though they have no choice but to go into this lifestyle because of the trauma they have been through. Their self worth depletes and they fall into broken lifestyle. I was stealing for my mother because she raised me to believe that it was acceptable. It takes certain events and certain circumstances to snap out of it. Just because they have done wrong doesn't mean they can't change. I'm sure you've done something disgraceful, you're just to high up on your high horse to admit it.
Hi Heather, my little sister died in her sleep from using and drinking. She was in her 40's and left 5 children. Today is the best day to get clean.
@love 0919 you're so sweet to comment, thank you! God bless you and your family! I often type this comment to addicted ppl, there's always HOPE! It has kept me off drugs for many years now! I know I'll see my little sister again, and all the pain and torment will be gone. Heaven awaits us, and I serve God hoping to make him proud. I'm the only one in my family left alive, it's lonely, but I look forward to a time when the anguish of being alone is lifted. God has REDEEMED me! Much love to you! Take care my friend ❤️
RiverRat RVR I wish i couldn’t sympathize with that but getting the phone call puts your whole life on hold
RiverRat RVR Sorry that happened- same thing happened to my sister. She died at the age of 27 and left 3 kids. Such a shame and waste of talent.
@@chonch7441 yes, I know what you mean friend! Take care always! I appreciate your comment ♥️♥️
@@therealelgwapo oh dear, I'm so sorry! I totally understand, it's sureal sometimes, yes? My heart aches knowing it, seeing what it did to my parents.. but you'll see your sister again! This old world isn't really our true home. Take care friend, I hope you're all right and your grief isn't too heavy. ♥️♥️
Growing up with my mom and step dad being addicted to prescription pills my mom Over dosed in my basement last month. I made a choice early in life to NEVER go down the same road as them. I can't imagine doing to my daughter what my mom did to me. The cycle stops with me.
Well done more power to you
She’s telling her story. Just because you feel she should move on from her trauma doesn’t mean she’s at that place yet. Sometimes just speaking these things help. We are to love and not judge.
I used to be an addict. Some may say I’m still an addict b/c I’ve been on Methadone for 15 years. Methadone saved my life. I’ll be a MD lifer before I go back to a street addict. This channel centers me. Whenever I get an itch I watch these kinds of channels and it keeps me sober. TY Mark. Your channel helps keep me grounded . TY again~~
@@faithvalentin1403 fuck you shes right. Methadone is a life saver that should not stigmatized. I used to kick in doors and be crazy as fuck. methadone saved my life.
good for you. i've been on met off and on for like the past 8 years. ALL the good times have been on methadone. I work I have a house for people like us its a miracle. Fuck what people say i'm proud of you and i dont even know you.
Methadone is a life saver.
@@faithvalentin1403 Cause you know .
@@faithvalentin1403 How’s it your business? Criticizing someone else’s treatment plan is the height of narcissism.
This is my story to a tee but with two kids ..baby daddy now in Attica prison for murder...I'm four year clean with my kids back..they hold the emotional scars of MY past life...I hold my guilt that will NEVER let me free... BUT... Life it's good and gives us what we need when we need and deserve it! To everyone battling inner deamons..... Never ever never ever give up!!!!!!!
Well done for beating your addiction! I wish you happiness with your babies xxxxxxx
@@pudddingpie thank you for real !!!!!!! And thanks for spreading the positive energy AND love❣️💗 💕 needed for every human being to 💙🙏 stay well!!!!!!!
Elizabeth Sheehan you are more than welcome hun, sending lots of love and positivity xxxxx
Very well done, Warrior Queen💛
I lived with guilt too...then I found Jesus. All the holders on my shoulders were gone. The chains of guilt and remorse just faded away. REDEEMED.
congratulations on your sobriety and being the mother you should be...take care
i think it’s really good you do these interviews, it really humanizes them and shows that they are real people with real problems and not just some “addict”
You are a fruit all they do is talk about doing drugs they are just drug addicts
@@rockland3593 An your an Ass head. Cruel you are
I pray for Heather as I have an adult daughter named Heather also addicted to heroin.
🙏to you and your daughter..may she find the right path.
@@carlaosborne160 🙏😘
May your daughter overcome her addiction and remain sober all the days of her life. It is possible. Don't ever lose hope Sandy. Remember, God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. In the times you feel weak, He is strong!! 🙏🏽💛
@@erikalittle3676 Thank you love.
I am in the same boat as you and i feel helpless sometimes how do you do it
Amazing insight to this womans world. Hope she finds peace within herself and the happiness she is after.
She is so intelligent 💕
Randy Marsh no she’s numbing pain... stay safe
Beautifully said
I’m rooting for this woman. She’s bright and insightful but in pain. This isn’t feeling sorry for oneself. That implies this is simply black and white and she should just “snap out of it”. She missed a childhood, she didn’t feel wanted or loved being sent back and forth from mom to dad. Her dad exposed her to debauchery at a young age. For those with no compassion, I hope when you need or want to be heard with compassion and no judgment, that you think twice about not giving it to others. This woman has so much to offer. She’s defeated right now but she has it in her to have a better life. I truly hope she finds the strength soon to get some help. She’s smart, she knows she has to be ready for it. I hope that day comes soon. ✌🏼💛
If you’ve ever questioned the damage a partner with narcissistic personality disorder can do, this is your antidote.
I wonder if this show will ever expand to other cities. These short stories are intriguing and eye opening.
There's a guy in Detroit that interviews the women who work the streets, not all of his videos are interviews though. Maybe Soft Underbelly will inspire others to do interviews in their cities, afterall there are homeless in nearly every city across America now. The guy in Detroit's channel is: Chosen Won. There's also a guy that does interviews in Pennsylvania and, can't remember his channel, but it's something Kennsington?
I hope so, the stories are part of a major issue that reflects the world.
@Tae Johnson Thanks, I just watched one and its got the same feel as this.
@Badaboom 88 Well, shit, so was I-- I was stationed at RAF Lakenheath from 2009-2011. We must've just missed each other!
morals over money (philly) , aml films, chosen won (detroit)
There’s something I love about this girl. She’s still humble and can still see happiness sometimes. Not a lot of happiness, but she still smiles and still has a good head on her shoulders. She just lost her way, but it’s not too late. Praying for you Heather. For what it means.
i wish you luck Heather, no daughter is better without mum...YOU CAN do it, you can, for her.
Ur so sweet))
So many of these interviewees seem to have moved to LA with big dreams and money to burn and have ended up on Skid Row. It really lives up to its reputation as a town that chews you up and spits you out!!! So sad 😞
Or they go to a rehab and end up there
🤔 a lot of people just end up there out of necessity. It’s where the resources are. It’s where you can live on the streets year round more comfortably than in the Northeast. The homeless population in Maine is a gritty bunch- they are out even in the winter during blizzards like the one we are in for today… I’m thinking of them today. It’s not fair that I’m warm and they aren’t.
Or for they go for rehab or “sober living” like the commenter below said and get stuck. Happens a lot in FL too. It also happens when people come up here to Maine to get clean. Peeps get stuck here too. Not an easy life and yes- super sad.
Sensitive people have a higher addiction rate.
I think so too. Things just hit them harder, deeper. The cruelty of the world that they may encounter is much harder for them to process and put behind them. I truly believe that these people can be our artists, our creatives, but they are also some of our addicts.
I remember being a shy, soft spoken girl, next thing I knew, I was a pill addict going to biker bar's and dressing like a prostitute basically. I'm not shy at all anymore but I'm also numbed to alot of things I would have feared before. I'm clean now after 12yrs woohoo!! I'm the lame friend now😊 but I survived DRUGS ❤️
Define "sensitive," because if it isn't blatantly obvious to you, the most salient features in these videos is that almost EVERY single case is a victim of some form of abuse, often during their childhood. That's not factoring in other socioeconomic issues either.
@@hellosweetheart3350 I'm so proud of you.
@@gSWG3R I am not the OP but I do believe that inherent traits like sensitivity and being artistic/creative does indeed lend itself to addiction. Of course not all sensitive and creative types are addicts, but In every addict I've known those two pieces were seen as prevalently in addicts and childhood trauma.
That being said I'm not a huge fan of the word "sensitivity" in this context. I think _empathic_ fits best but some people think sensitive = empathic and while they're different they're also close enough for government work, as the saying goes.
Look at the morbid yet fascinating 27 Club - as far as empathic and creative go they all fit the bill spectacularly. And you're 100% spot on as regards trauma. You put those three things together? All too commonly addiction and self-torture are the end phase(s) of an artistic and "sensitive" and traumatized soul, if not an early death via suicide or overdose (sometimes one in the same). Just fucking sad.
When visiting LA I have driven down skid row and I promise you she is not the only white woman there - there are people there from all walks of life and it really just shows and shines a light on the discrepancies in our society and that no matter what your color - no one is above this. I am making this statement because she alluded to the fact that she was one of the only white women there.
Exactly! Addiction does not discriminate!
Tracy , you are right. It is a cross section of people who are just lost.
@Tracy P. Very true! Well said👍
True that. Its a sickness within the soul. Its mindblowing of you never have seen homelessness and addiction on that level
Tracy P. Thank you there are way more white people there predominantly black or Hispanic there in five people he’s interviewed white people so her Snow White bullshit is really annoying
If you think you're lonely imagine how your child feels. I get it. I'm an ex addict. Our kids have nothing to take the sadness away from us not being there. You need to start somewhere.
Yes Amen
@@michelledoyle1969 it's such a selfish disease ... Being a drug addict. Our kids suffer alone. It's vicious.
@@hgraham1836 yes it sure is,it really makes you feel for the children even more so with interviews that show the women that are pregnant & have already had kids,They say it takes a village to raise children & its so relevant to the ones that have lost theirs,my heart hurts & i wish i could do more 👼🌼
@@michelledoyle1969 yeah and ultimately it's all up to the mom to hit rock bottom enough to make the change 💔 in the meantime just hope not too many years pass as the children grow up with out a mother.
@@hgraham1836 exactly, i pray that they will not go through what they have been exposed to & can live a normal healthy lifestyle
You can't deny she loves her child. A mother's pain is like no other. I have faith in you,heather. Dont give up. You're not in over your head yet!
You are SO much better than a crappy life. Dare to break the cycle by getting the help to get clean and love yourself enough to make a difference to yourself and child. Godspeed💛
Patricia Que Well said. She doesn’t deserve this crappy life. There is so much more out there for her. I see so much potential in her!
Sara G Wallace am I missing something?
@@Leandatastic i could just tell she is really deeply hurt by choosing thr streets over her 5 yr old. You know how lots of parents on this channel show more remorse over an incarcerated lover than they do their children? Could hear the pain and regret in her voice
@Sara i agree - she is not sorry for her daughter - she is sorry for fucking up her life - i'm not ready yet???? really???
You being a neutral person for them to speak to or confess to is a wonderful thing. May this RUclips project go on as long as the people on the streets need it.
I’m a therapist and I work with the homeless, I wish I could travel and provide therapy to some of these individuals because I feel like so many need to be heard and validated......
As much as my heart grieves for the pain addicts live with, the thought of their children living through their addiction is utterly heartbreaking. No child deserves to have their parent stolen from them by addiction.
Thanks for your brilliant work. You are giving a voice to those society ignores. So important to hear their stories.
Theresa F is that I love
No person deserves to have their own soul stolen from them by addiction.. both suffer tremendously.. parent and child
Everyone in the comments talks about how horrendous the parents of these individuals were/are. If Heather’s daughter finds herself on that stool telling her story, I wonder what your opinion of Heather would be?
I hope her daughter won't be
I feel the same.😥
Don't have kids when you're emotionally screwed up. Idiots.
Why would it matter? It doesn’t change Heather’s life and we know nothing about her daughter or her living situation.
Plenty of us have horrendous “mothers” who are conscienceless abusers and have zero addictions to substances. Affluence and a Combo Platter of a Cluster B Personality Disorder is the prescriptive embodiment of how to fly under the radar while being rampantly abusive towards your children.
She needs to Woman up and go be a mother! Her daughter will suffer greatly for her choices
I hope she finds peace and love, i was addicted to heroin for many years my ass did heroin in California for about 7 years o moved to Oklahoma in 2012, and been clean since then i moved states that's what helped me!
this woman can go so far. she's built for it. she literally looks like she could clean up & work in corporate. i hope she is well. 💓🦋
Heather not sure if you realize your voice has a calming effect. I would pay to have you read books online. No joke. Thank you for sharing your story wishing you the very best. ❤️🙏🏼
I thought the same thing!! I actually fell asleep haha and woke up when the video finished. Super calming.
kute k Right! That may be her gift and means of making a living via online. I would support her business.
Lolita Delaware good idea! Any links you can post for her in case she reads this?
K It I’m asking around for specific businesses. I know people have RUclips channels who read and get paid that way. I’ll update once I get more info.
Lolita Delaware great! I hope she reads it & uses it to start a new path, after rehab.
I love that this plattform allows for them to open up and tell their story, Thank you Mark.
It's hard when you lose your kids and you are trying to stay sober through the pain I did it for seven years to get my kids back
Don't give up Heather. Please. Don't give up. Your daughter needs you and you need her. I know you are hurting. I know your pain cant even be put into words. But know that there are so many other women that will love you and wrap their arms around you and support you and know the deep pain you are in. Please don't give up. You have such a beautiful heart and soul.
My cousin who is a dentist just told me that he did her teeth work (partial for front)....small world.
Wow, that's HIPAA in action there. You realize it is #1 illegal for him to release that information to you and #2 he could lose his license because of your post. So unethical! Both of you.
@@nicolelewonkenobi you’re a nerd lol
@@nicolelewonkenobi bitch shut up 🤐
This is going to be enlightening. The most difficult addiction that I have beaten was nicotine. The trickiest was GHB because you become addicted very quickly. I have heard that heroin is the most addictive substance known to man and I can't imagine being in its clutches. I'm weak though, so that doesn't help. It seems the quality of a person's upbringing have a great impact on their perceived need to fill a hole in their life.
CircleOfSorrow it’s just the physical withdrawal that’s the worst part, nobody wants to be dope sick
Good on you for kicking those addictions. That is a very strong thing to have done. All humans can be weak just depends on what their particular weakness is.
I was addicted to heroin, Oxy and tramadol for years. But one day I decided I was done living that life, and quit cold turkey. It's mind over matter.
I was addicted to heroin for 4 years. I’ve been clean for over 7 years now. I have Bipolar Disorder & that along with some trauma drove me to opiates. The last year and a half I was on heroin I literally shot dope to not be sick. It’s awful & it makes it that much harder to walk away from. The mental aspect is a whole other jungle, the physical will keep you going back no matter how much you hate it or yourself until it takes you or you get away from it.
The clutches are not loving, soft, caring, .....it is that false feeling that grabs you. After that, it abuses you, makes you submit as if your an animal, keeps you from the bare essentials in life --- food, a roof, hygiene, dignity, and so much more, it wakes you it wants and causes pain. It literally takes from you and will NEVER give back.
****Your not weak, your vulnerable....and with that is where you choose to show it or hide it. SHOW IT, find the place, the people, and learn that sobriety is the best high (waking up in your bed, having a cup of coffee you bought no bargains, a friend/family to call for that living, soft place). You have the strength to write what you did above, that shows the ability to be honest and most importantly that your mental state is becoming clearer and you see/have been living the sober life. DONT STOP. LET THESE VIDEOS BE THERAPY, A LESSON. TRIGGERS, KNOW THEM THEN EXCLUDE THEM.
***Wish you all the success***
Heather, please take care of yourself and your health. Your little girl needs, loves and wants you!!!!!
I know she said she wasn’t ready to go to rehab but her daughter is only 6. I hope she can do it to be in her daughter’s life so she doesn’t miss out. She still can be there for her if she gets it together! 🙏 I just wanted to add that I like how Mark ended this on a positive note. If possible, it seems like a great way to end every interview.
This. This one got to me. I was wondering which one I’d resonate with, not that I use, only marijuana but the neglectful childhood, this resonated with me to the point I cried WITH her. This is like a look into the future of what my life could be like if I let my childhood and past take over my life. I pray for your healing Heather, all you needed was to be nurtured and loved.
I wish I could tell her to take what she grew up feeling and make sure her daughter knows that SHE is enough, don’t let her daughter feel abandoned. Rise above, girl. Find that strength inside and work hard to get clean to show your daughter that you beat that crap for HER. You CAN do it. You have that strength. You don’t deserve this. You deserve to have your daughter and she deserves to see how much you love her. I’m a single mom. I don’t have an addiction but I do have depression. Bipolar II. Fibromyalgia. I’m not a perfect mom. I am a single mom. I choose my daughter. It’s NOT easy. And I don’t think that overcoming an addiction is simple. But I know she can do it. Please.
Thankyou for sharing its nice hearing certain things that make you feel less alone.
I’m a adult child of an addict. I have ptsd from abuse and abandonment. Heather is creating the same abandonment for her daughter that she felt as a child and still does today. Self medicating with drugs never helps. Being willing to turn your life over to a higher power and reaching for recovery and working a program is so important for addicts. I wish her healing. I wish her daughter healing. Hopefully Heather makes it out alive and is capable of being a good mother one day.
You gave one of the few, intelligent, comments, on this platform. My thoughts are the same. Why are these women, repeating this vicious cycle, while crying about what they went through, growing up? It's like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. There is help, and hope, but they need to be more responsible, and move on to a better life, with their kids. I hope she gets help ASAP.
I’ve watched so many of these videos ....over & over the question comes up “are your mom & dad together “? 95% has had absolutely no parental guidance basically NO support system . There only support came from some kind of chemical It’s so sad to see that there is no end to this revolving. Door
Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and there are a lot of single parents never married to begin with. Single parent or grandparent homes may be a contributing factor for some of these folks, but the vast majority of people who have single parent/broken homes don't end up homesless and addicted to drugs.
Meagan just sad same scenario over & over most never had a chance 😂
And yet so many ppl are adamantly prolife... it's ironic and fucked up.
She said her parents were drug addicts and then said she was raised with morals and respect and how good her parents raised her are you so stupid you believe these addicts apparently you have not been around them can't wait for you to experience that
Yeah but dads and step dad living in the home were molesting the kids. Seem like a lose lose situation. My dad was an addict and was never in my life. I feel like I dodged a bullshit to be honest.
So selfish and completely unfair to bring a child in your foolishness. She knew very well she was not in a right state of mind/life to be a parent. This is what creates ugly generational curses in families. STOP having children if you are not capable of being the parent that your child needs. :-(.
totally agree - responsibility, a word a lot of people seem to have no idea about these days
Agree
True, and so many young women don't have a clue what all it entails to raise a child.
@@ladybug4408 - totally agree & nice to see woman posting comments as opposed to men - responsibility seems to be a lost trait unfortunately - we need to take it back for ourselves as that's the real way to improve one's life - by taking responsibility
Getting an IUD is one of the best things I’ve ever done for this world. I’m on my 3rd.
Unfortunately children's lives don't pause until we are ready. It's often very hard. My husband, my mother and my best friend all died from different causes back to back in a short time. I could barely function and wanted to die myself losing my husband (of 20+ yrs), with actual PTSD being the one who found his body, but I have 5 kids...no excuses. I have to put them and their emotional health first because once I decided to get pregnant, I signed up for that responsibility no matter what life threw at me. I also was fostering 2 other children whose parents did this, refusing to put them first, while I was surviving actual tragedies. Words and promises mean nothing...actions are everything.
Wow, sorry about what you've gone through. take care❤️
She may seem like she loves her daughter but she really loves the druggy lifestyle. They don't take children away and not give them back unless you are not complying. I personally know at least a dozen women who had their children removed permanently, they were all given many chances but they choose themselves and their addictions.
Too much "I, I, Me,Me, I'm a victim".... don't be fooled, she chose her lifestyle and she likes it. She may as well as just sat there and vomited for 39 minutes as basically that is what she did with words.
From what I have experienced, most addicts are extremely self-obsessed as a condition of their trauma, it's like they are driven by self-medicating to dull the pain of living, leading to a downward spiral ending in a long emotional, painful death
I see someone who hates themself pretty deeply and feels like she fucks up everything. She did stop developing emotionally when she was being raised by her dad, who didn't really make sure she was ok and didn't treat her as more than a piece of furniture. Parental indifference will wring the shit out of you.
Have you heard that addiction, alcoholism is a disease? If you're taking the time to be here, at least get the understanding that people don't choose addictions. My understanding is that addicts have emotional trauma and are predisposed to the disease. Is it annoying to see someone who has what she needs not to just go do the right thing? at the point of being in so much pain that you have to stay f*cked up to not kill yourself, I'd say that person is very much not well. I
lin sioux ok, so I agree with you. I’ve watched a lot of these interviews and in comparison she has no trauma. When she said, “things children shouldn’t have to deal with, like waking yourself up for school”, I was thinking wtf? Then I try to be sympathetic because her dad was on drugs but I think fuck that!
@@RECHARON what do you mean, do you think she's attention seeking?
I can identify with her. I met my ex and got her pregnant after first week at 29. I soon found out not only was she dysfunctional but her whole family was. I would have done anything to give my child a home that wasn't broken since I came from one. This woman cheated on me while she was pregnant but I stuck it out. I married her eventually and she decided to divorce me after cheating again. I stayed in same house for years to give illusion to my daughter but eventually it was over. My kid suffers to this day with depression I beleive because her parents split up and it KILLS me. I also ended up using opiates into my late 30's and early 40's due to car accident and mental weakness but finally got on methadone which was a saving grace. It took me YEARS to find out that this drug could save my life when hospitals and clinics gave me zero inclination that it could help. If anyone has opiate addictions from pills taking more than 60 mg daily or heroine, methadone will work but you HAVE to be ready to live. It saved my life and can save hers but she has to address her demons simultaneously and the only way to do that is through God. Nobody can help us but ourselves and God. In the end we are alone and nothing anyone else gives us can save us from ourselves.
I hope you got a DNA test to see if your child is yours!
@@REAL6 100% I did... After she gave me the cold shoulder when she got pregnant I had my suspicions so I waited until my daughter was born and she was all mine. I sucked it up and did what it took to raise her with two parents swallowing my pride and making it work for her. If I hadn't my kid would have turned out just like her mothers entire family of derelict's I'm sure. She's a great kid, but suffers from divorced parents and the incessant bombardment of technology that has changed how people perceive the world today. I protected her when she was vulnerable and knew eventually her mother would sabotage it. Good thing is I am always there and try my damndest to have a copacetic and civil relationship with her mother otherwise my child would have resentment piled on top of the divorce as well as the insanity going on in this world.
Well your kid probably suffers from depression due to her mother's actions, not yours. Once a cheater usually always a cheater. The woman you got with wasn't of good character, they always say be very careful of who you have children with. Methadone is also very addictive and you have to wean off it. I have a family member who has abused it for many years. You're right, we are all alone and we cannot or should not look to anyone else to bring us happiness, we have to love and be happy with ourselves first and foremost before we can love someone else.
@@Mackster30 Incidentally I too married someone who ended up being a cheater, the father of my two children. I too tried to make it work for the children because I didn't want them growing up w/o a father in the home. It lasted a few weeks after he cheated, I couldn't rid myself of the anger and I decided I was worth so much more than that B.S., and divorced him. My kids are now adults and both are fine, never done drugs or drank, very good kids.
@@ladybug4408 Ladybug I'm glad your kids turned out good, that is a blessing. Mine hasn't done illicit drugs or drank either but is on pharmecuetical's for her issues. Ya it's VERY difficult to let go of the animosity felt when your spouse is scandalous. It's easier to live without anger and resentment.
Yes methadone is addictive, can be abused just like anything else but doesn't help someone who doesn't want help especially an opiate addict. It doesn't get them high but makes them straight. Everyone on any drug should be tapering off slowly but it's better to be addicted to methadone than slamming heroine until you OD and die in my opinion. My experience is much different from an IV user so my perspective is different but can relate to the misery involved. Methadone did save me and can be used for good. It is necessary to slowly taper off of methadone at some point because it will destroy your body and mind over time just like any drug.
Seeing these videos has completely changed my perspective & has opened my eyes to how horrible some people truly have it. Thank you.
These videos make me cry more than almost anything. Thank you for making these. They really touch my heart, and move my soul.
I am praying for the peace within her
I'm a ex addict ...im clean about 12 year's ...this people r like us ...they need help ...my help was family ...my heart r with all that still on drugs
If I can do it ..everyone can ...bless them all . Elsa from Portugal
Didn't realize your daughters name is the same as mine till I rewound/ listened a second time. What a coincindence. I pray to God that you find the strength, and peace within your life to give your Ashley the Mom/life she deserves. Sometimes, like myself, it may take medication maintenance to get to that point, but regardless, she would be better off with you even if it means having to take suboxone, methadone, etc. To stabilize yourself until you're strong enough to do it on your own
Praying for you Heather. Be careful out there and God bless 🙏
She's not ready to get clean and sober, it's sad because she's still stuck in the phase where you're blaming the world and can't see the forest through the trees. I hope she meets her bottom soon so she can get the help she needs and becomes ready and willing to accept it.
@Goseth Jones Money can't save this woman. She has to hit a spiritual bottom, so that she reaches out for a change in her life, because that's the only place she'll find peace. I live in Los Angeles, there's plenty of programs for these people, I know, I lived in this realm. They will only get well when they want a change in their life. Only then will they be able to get out of that situation.
She said she was straight for 6 years then admits to pill addiction when her daughter was an infant. Post breast augmentation. My kids are my world. I can’t imagine choosing drugs over them. I guess I still can’t understand drug addiction. Everything that can happen to a woman I’ve experienced. I just feel like my greatest revenge against those men is to rise rise rise. My mom
Was a drug addict. My father was murdered at age 5. Kids don’t ask to be born. Let’s take care of them ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve heard this same word salad of excuse from myself and from many friends that I’ve lost. “Everyone else is so judge mental” oof, I feel for this woman but when I hear those same bullshit excuses it’s hard to feel sorry. Notice it’s always. “Me me me me me me, they did this for me. Yada yada” it’s always what have you done for me lately. She’s gotta change her own mind.
One thing I've learned from all these interviews is how exceptionally intelligent and articulate most of these people are. I mean really intelligent.
And yet...
@@AlexiHolford And yet we continue to marginalize addicts and the unhoused as dumb losers.
One of the few addicts on these vids who could get sober and her past wouldn't still be reflected on her face and throughout her body. She has big, strong hands. I think her heart is too.
Wishing her the best. I thank her for being so real and raw with us, complete strangers. She has a good heart and I hope she can get herself where she wants to be one day.
"Yr guilt keeps u sick, & keeps u away from the ppl u love the most." Addiction is indeed a carousel of doom , but shame is the ticket to ride w/no expiration date.
This story is a great example of how addiction affects anyone anywhere any race and any class and how easy it is to fall from the top to bottom really quick!!!!
The person who I thought was going to sell me marijuana sold me crystal meth? Really?? (Not that I think drug dealers are virtuous - but that one jumped out at me.)
Me too! Maybe the pot was laced.
@@lcoop5497 Maybe. Or maybe she is in denial about her own more serious drug problem.
It was a set up...the friend recognized her demons...f up friend ... this is what did my husband in..friends so called..
When I was 18 I tried freebasing cocaine because my boyfriend said it was just like doing lines...I believed him because I loved him. I was hooked for 10 years on and off. Thank god I’m sober from cocaine for 23yrs...one day at a time! 😇
She was a kid with with no support system I doubt if she was in denial, she just didn’t know any better
She has a lot of self pity, she needs to take responsibly for herself and her choices instead of blaming her situation on men as her family before she’ll ever get better
I meannn her family and those men did do her wrong, she definitely didn't have it easy. It doesn't seem like she has a victim mindset or anything in my opinion.
3:40 NO THOSE STRESSES ARE NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN. I’m sorry you and thousands and thousands of children get a raw deal in life because of their parents.
If you’re reading this and you put your own needs/wants before feeding your children and caring for them then SHAME ON YOU. Now is the time to change. Get someone to help you. Children deserve a healthy, stable, loving start in life. You can do it.
Nate Taiapa We do get a terrible deal true dat. But with some Mothers-and I’m not at all saying Heather is one-you can’t Shame the shameless, those who are conscienceless such as my biomother.
I don't understand the 'get someone to help you' bit. Where do these 'magical people who help', come from? Psychological help costs money. Charity services can't provide the level of help which some people need. It just feels like you have a very simplistic solution, get help. Some people are crying out for help in desperation but it's not available. Try booking yourself into a detox clinic today, just try ringing around and see who will take you today, how much will it cost, what will you do with your children if you even do get a place. Try actually living this life before telling people how to fix their lives.
The way she says, "but you're just trying to be normal again" that really hits hard and is very sad..because when certain traumatic events happen some of us can't get the pain to go away. I hope with everything she is able to get clean and see her daughter. I'm so sorry so many people are going through this.
This really breaks my heart. I only wish her the best and so she stays really really strong. This world is really fcked up. Thank you Mark for these videos, for their rawness and sharing stories.
I can only dread to think how difficult her life has been and still is, but a point comes in life where the victim becomes the perpetrator. She is inflicting the sort of pain she went through as a child and feeling unwanted onto her own child. Trauma breeds trauma. I think it’s time to dry up and mum up and use the good brain you still have access to and get help to clean up your act. I hope you do because I see a lot of potential in you. I think you are very intelligent and way too smart for this lifestyle.
She has to want it. Its a curse that she is pretty .. she has to have 0 other options. Right now she has options. So she is wrapped up in herself. She doesn't see herself at all. She has to want it.
@@tessaanne1205 She really isn't that pretty and what she does have is coarsening quickly. As much as we want people to be able to "mum up" life just doesn't work that way. What money I would give just to be able to 'man up' over my struggles, what a f-ing dream that would be. I'm so exhausted from just keeping my own shit together, no kids, no partner, just my career and hoping I can feel 'ok' enough not to just sit down and never get back up.
Watching this 10 months after it was uploaded I wonder where she is.
Wow! Non stop talking! Had to stop half way to take a break.
I hear your story and I sympathize with you. You didn’t go unheard today ❤️ I wish the best for you, you sound like an incredibly strong woman
Heather....Your daughter is your Angel Baby. Please use the strength I know you have and get yourself in rehab. She needs you and you need her! Remember you were once a lil girl that was missing that unconditional love....don't let the cycle repeat! I have faith in you.....You are stronger than you think! Please do it for you and your baby girl!
Wish I could take away all her pain and sorrow. Just feel bad for this person and hope that one day she will find some joy and happiness and LOVE.
I believe the world became ugly once she decided to do drugs......please get help...your daughter needs you!!! You are who you hang with!! You don't need a man...get clean and get your daughter.....you are surrounded by drugs...get out and get help please you are beautiful.....
It’s way harder than you could EVER imagine. I’ve struggled with opiate abuse. Was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and so hard to stay away from it. She has zero support. Thankfully I have close family that love me and support me. She wasn’t dealt a great band, but I do believe she will get clean.
@@olivedog1880 I can only imagine how hard it is but I keep going back why do they choose it in the first place...I guess I've led a sheltered life and don't understand what it means to not have a father figure or a mother figure but God help me I hope I would never choose drugs if something so bad ever happened to me in my life... I do agree with you as far as not having the support system at all. But then I think about her daughter and I would hope and pray that she can get clean and stay strong for her daughter... She's a smart beautiful woman and so very sad to watch this happening.
Olive Dog rehab
No, her world was ugly before the drugs. Drugs are the symptom not the cause.
@@cynthiaallen9225 wow you're exactly right
Mark Im On Every few Hrs To See what's Uploaded...The truth On the Streets.Its truly the best Real Raw Videos About Life and which direction it goes.......Nail ON THE HEAD.......GODBLESS ALL
Thank you again for your work
Even before she said she is a giver, I sensed that Heather really ought to put herself in a situation of helping others. She needs that. She needs a purpose and needs to feel useful. Not just useful to her daughter but to a wider range of people and regain some self-esteem. It's hard to be a parent when you have no hope in life. But when you are actively contributing to make the world better, you move on in life without anxiety because you know that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem. When she sobers up, Heather really ought to make that move towards helping others right away. I truly feel that it could save her life.
This hits home girl. You’re not alone.🥰
"A man has as many masters as he has vices". Saint Augustine.
"The squeaky wheel gets the worm" Joe Btfsplk
She reminds me so much of a woman I had a teenage fling with. I'll have love for her always. We stayed friends throughout the last 22yrs and she just passed away at the age of 40. She lost kids too and just couldn't get straightened out which took her life. I so hope you find the way out, you are worth it.
Her pain is profound..🙏 Shes in WAY over her head. This is a life or death situation.
I am a recovering heroine Addict clean and sober 23 years and you said it best your not ready and only you can pick your clean date god bless
What a great interview. Thank You Heather and Soft White Underbelly!
She said a year after her daughter was born she had a breast augmentation and they prescribed her Vicodin and insinuated that’s when everything went downhill.
Meanwhile she also went to rehab at 15 for crystal meth use so I’m sure that wasn’t her first Vicodin.
Here’s the deal , we need to get real with ourselves and make absolutely no excuses or blame anyone or anything for the mess we are in.
It’s ok to be an addict. You can stay in addiction or you can work for sobriety . But you have to take ownership for your own addiction. It’s a difficult thing to do but a good long and truthful look at yourself is the best place to start.
She was easy to listen to. No cussing, posturing or sleaziness.
I would never know if I walked past her in the supermarket the trauma she has overcome in her life to make it to where she is. Goes to show not all drug takers look the same...
She was easy to listen to, but she did cuss
@@olivedog1880 YES i was cleaning house and watching. Towards the end she did!!! Ha!
She curses at 7:49.
@@dana-loricharles887 right. See above comment.
I hope heather got sober and was reunited with her daughter
She’s a beautiful soul. I’ve contributed but if I could help her as an individual I would. I really feel her pain. I hope she can get her daughter back, you got this mama 💕 It’s never too late to start over 🌟
Please update us on her
She’s clever and intelligent... she reminds me of Caroline.. I just hope she won’t be following her footsteps. I pray for you Heather, remember it’s only up to you to change and it’s possible. Never give up until you at least give it a go! It’s never too late! Please try!
She's not alone...if she could get better she would be a great advocate and women's counselor.... would really like to see an update on her because I can relate
"In my family you don't talk about what is really going on" God how I know what this is.
This hits close to home. I feel for her so much.
God bless her!
I hope the next chapter in your life is one of sobriety.. its been 3 years since I've losted my bestfriend, my sister to her addiction drugs have tooken over and robbed her of a beautiful life everyday i check hospitals and jails hoping to never get the call shes dead on the side of the road somewhere..and just hoping for that one of her telling me shes ready to get her life back .. watching these videos trying to understand..some give u hope and others like shes already to far gone.. I hope you choose life. Best of wishes to you and those who miss you.
My daughter is the same age as hers. I've been planning her birthday party for months. I cannot imagine missing out on this time of her childhood. I hope she gets it together for her daughters sake.
Indifference kills especially when ur young . And I'm so happy when I see a loving mother and child. Some people don't realize how blessed they are to have love to wire ur brain when young. So u can regulate ur emotions w out addiction. I feel all her pain. There is hope. There has to be a balance to even out the pain.
“And, I’m drinking because I didn’t know what to do.” I’m sure the courts and/CPS told you EXACTLY what you need to do to get your daughter back.
Yes, lots of excuses. No ownership throughout.
She did say basically that she gave up & didn’t follow through. But yes, they have a choice.
Lisa Ross-Johnson it isn’t really a beast. It’s just a list of things you have to do which can include having a job, not being on drugs or alcohol of course, keeping a clean house, attending parenting classes & specialized classes possibly like anger management & attending meetings & conferences to review if you’re following the case plan. Fact is, some people can’t or won’t change even if their heart breaks for the person they are letting go. It’s messed up but I guess the real beast is that bad habit the parent lets have control over them as it sucks all the happiness out of their life. Overcoming is a difficult thing & you have to really want it. If you do, there are systems in place to help you.
Lisa Ross-Johnson I’m on the other side of it. I did foster care for a short time before I adopted. I have a lot of empathy & the system puts families through too much & the kids through even more.
Sara Don’t bunch real Democrats in with liberals. They’re in a class of their own.
Wow, I would never think she was an addict, she looks like a teacher or librarian lol, hope she can get help, she seems like a genuine person
I love her...I watch a lot of SWUB...she stands out for sure
Very intelligent woman. If she got clean, she could help so many people because she is so articulate. She helped me see this situation and the mindset behind why this becomes a problem for people. She is an amazing person and has so much to offer. I pray she gets help. She seems lovely and so relatable for those of us who have never done drugs. I see the vicious circle she is in.
Wow Heather, I hope you get the help you need and reclaim the life that you want. It's all so tragic. Go to rehab, you can do it.
Heroin takes the soul of any one who tries it.
My heart hurts for Heather you deserve so much good in your life and love and belonging. When you’re ready you’ll make it right again! It’s all up to you!
She has great perspective!! Good luck and God bless you.
Her hands are showing signs of addiction.
I’ve seen people comment about this all the time. Not to be dense, but what does that mean?!
Zee Lily Anne i assume it’s the clicking/fidgeting of hands and fingers ? I want to know too!
Paulina Treffiletti I’ve noticed a lot the hands will look worn down/affected somehow like a disease almost but yeah I want to know actual reasons too
User’s extremities often swell up. Even just pill poppers. Opiods make them look bigger
It’s crazy how many people notice that. I the swollen thing is weird, but makes sense. I want to know the other reasons
She could easily make it out. She is battling with her locus of evaluation. It is mostly internal, which provides hope, but she could do with trying to eliminate the external locus that seems to be holding her back. She says she isn't ready yet but how much lower does she want to go? If she leaves it for much longer, it will so much harder to make it back out. I wish her all the best.
No. She has a disease. Once she gets her body better she has to also heal deep emotional trauma. She can easily make it out? No.
Martin Burnett my thoughts exactly. hoping she could just accept what her lofe has been like and focus on looking forward, to her life with her daughter in her life. it’s emotional trauma holding her back and she fails to see its not too late.
Oh it won't be easy but either is the life she's living right now. She definitely has time and probably a support system to she can get clean and turn life around. But easy no it won't be.
I respect her honesty for saying she’s not ready yet. When *and if* she gets ready internally and knows she’s done for her, not for anyone else, not as a result of being shamed and blamed, not being told what she “has to do” because clearly she already knows that, there’s a much better probability she can get it together.
Let’s hope she doesn’t die first.
what she said about the core of her issues is so heartbreaking and so relatable. I hope she gets to where she wants to be
She’s straight up. She’s got it still. Best wishes to her.