50% Of Men Have Not Approached A Woman The Last Year
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- Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2023
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Chris and Alex Datepsyche discuss why over 50% of Men have not approached women in the past year. Why are men afraid of approaching women according to Alex Datepsyche? What does Alex Datepsyche believe is the reason for this trend? What do men have to say about choosing to be single more than before according to Alex Datepsyche?
#dating #relationships #psychology
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Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Alex here - ruclips.net/video/FqFyVdWscEU/видео.htmlsi=898a6qlDhOhUAEBl
Let me correct the title...
'50% of men haven't found a women worth approaching in the past year'
Chris. You talk about dating, but not about divorce courts. You should talk to Peter Nolan about divorce courts Chris.
@@primalgentleman And they won't.
5:36 seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding
Moving out introduces you to some risk with a wealth of inherently good things
#1 Personnel Freedom
#2 Personnel Space
#3 Autonomy over your living conditions
#4 A sense of accomplishment
#5 pride in achievement
moving out actually offers far more good than bad if you are a responsible person and of age and means to do so on top of the fact you can't be rejected for moving out this simply does not exist. Its not like men are chemically equipped to be better in the position thrust upon them with approaching the opposite sex.
#1 Men mature later in life than women
#2 Men have a worse temperment due to testosterone
#3 Men are less socially attuned then women by nature
#4 Men are less socialized then women by nurture
#5 Men have smaller friend groups ( to help with rejection)
#6 Men are 400% more likely to have a speech impediment than women
the only strength men have when it comes to approach is a naturally higher proclivity towards risk, But psychologists will unilaterally agree the dating paradigm in terms of who approaches should be on paper women approach as it would remove 90% of the issue with approaching as men would accept 80% of the women who approach them and women only accept 15% of the approaches they recieve
Men are constantly told not to approach women, and that women don't want to be approached by men...
They listened
This isn't a mystery
Whoever said that didn’t speak for all of us. None of my girls said that
@@loveyourketo1433 sorry but the culture has shifted. Othet women should have spoken up against it
@@loveyourketo1433Well, not saying anything means agreeing on it.
@@danielisaac7586 agree that seems to be like that in the US, certainly not here
@@loveyourketo1433 Many women DID support it enough for the culture to change. If there were many women who were against it, why didn't we see them speaking up against it? Silence is generally seen as acceptance, and its gradually changing the culture of other countries too.
"What's going on with risk aversion"? The risks are higher than ever and the payout is lower than ever
True that
Again: ONS? What do you guys mean with payout? I don’t get it. How high are the chances that she is THE ONE? Of course takes a dozen no‘s
@@loveyourketo1433There is no "the one", relationships require both people to put the relationship first. How else would arranged marriages last? Recognizing that women have become so selfish, they will scream to kill their kids instead of facing the consequences of their actions, is just good logic.
Then don’t stalk and harassment either. They’re not acceptable alternatives to approaching women.
@@Ashnesss We don't condone that behavior. What assumptions did you make to come to the conclusion that we would do something like that?
Women simply aren't worth the risk anymore. All the risk is on the men's side, especially legal.
Nice, more for me, thank you
@@paulw7647Take as many as you want no one is stopping you.
@@paulw7647 Say hello to your cellies from my part.
Yes. The civil court system favors women. Yes, divorce laws favor women. Yes, social media and modernity have made many of them toxic and undesirable.
But there are millions of women out there who aren't corrupted, dislike identity politics, respect men, and are looking for relationships.
You just have to look and be open-minded.
@@LordRykard9376 Aww yes, the proverbial yes the pool is full of s*** but you should sit through the s*** to find the gold.
As a 41 year old, I have approached a woman this year. Beyond belief, we started dating. Then she turned out to be batshit crazy! Whoo-hoo! I got out after 3 months.
Sounds great... Will you go for a second one?
Yea ofc why not?
So what ls bat shit crazy ? I want a story
That's par for the course after 40..every woman I date is crazy..and i get out after a few months...no harm done. One even had me arrested and it cost me 5k to get the charges dropped lol..I never cried. Life is about experience not worry or regret.
3 months is like average for dealing with a crazy wa-hoo
Women have started flirting and approaching me at my job in the past year, but I've been too reluctant to act on it. You never know when someone will turn around and cry foul and get you fired if things go sour. Pretty sad really.
Understandable
Fair. If you want it and find a suitable girl go for Marrying. I'm not from the West ik the situation there but still Marriage is sacred for me.
This hookup culture is extraordinarily bad for both the genders
Yep and you’ll never get the benefit of the doubt either. Play it smart keep track of everything if you do pursue anyone.
Definitely not worth it.
Rule number one: You do not screw around with women at work. Period. You're welcome.
Every incentive structure has been taken away from men.
It’s not complicated.
You mean ONS?
@@loveyourketo1433
I don’t know what that means
@@bri_____ that gives me hope. One night stand
@@loveyourketo1433One night stands are very risky for men for just a few moments of carnal fun. They are also very selfish as the actions have negative consequences for society.
Risk only makes sense if there's reward.
There is reward.
@@LordRykard9376 Low probability
@rjeez95 finding a match for yourself is already low probability. Embrace the grind.
@@rjeez95if copium was a person = @LordRykard9376
@@LordRykard9376 or buy a house and get a dog.
It’s not about being rejected, it’s about what are you getting yourself into.
the juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.
these women have devalued themselves too much
Some men are willing to go to jail and create criminal records, over a girl. Some people don’t have an alternative to what they’re doing. That’s why they don’t have to worry about consequences.
@Ashnesss Again, you’re deliberately missing the point. Seems like you’re adding up to be part of the problem, if anything, now.
You're right. Rejection might well be the best, and least costly, outcome.
Is anyone else getting sick of these self styled Alfa wannabes, talking down about anyone that has decided that the risks far outweigh the rewards, particularly as we get older!
I’m 55 and the last relationship I had finished when I was 49, most single women I encounter nowadays are usually a combination of obese, broke, emotionally broken or just have ridiculously high expectations and entitlement. So I have stopped bothering to try and find the needle in the haystack!
At 55 what do you expect? You described women doing not great and woman who are doing too good to deal with bull
@@Opal5674 as I said I’m just getting sick and tired of Alfa wannabes talking smack to ordinary men! When we now have women that are 3s or 4s turning their noses up at guys that are 5s or 6s and then we are still getting told we need to do better! Many of us have just gotten on with our own lives joined clubs and groups and are doing well in life!
@@Opal5674Look at the woman demeaning a man for his standards. Do you really not see that you are only proving his point.
Just date men😮
@@Hardawayfits We're rapidly approaching Fem BS Bingo at this rate...
Men, just follow these three simple rules - 1) BE HANDSOME 2) BE ATTRACTIVE 3) DON'T BE UNATTRACTIVE.
Wtf ? My 2nd was the most good looking man I've been with and he tried to kill me 3 times, body and head black and blue, stabbed everything around me...if anything I don't trust very good looking men, they get away with all sorts. My 1st husband was a musician and model and heroin addict...🤦🏻♀️
I am now getting married again to my 3rd husband. We started going out 10 years ago. I know he is always there when I most need him and same for him. We make a team, he's my best friend. I'm now 50 and wiser...
NEVER give up !!!
Ted Bundy was good looking...no thanks.
Exactly.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101athe attractive comment above i's not true...I don't trust good-looking men, I much prefer someone who's kind and likes cuddles !!! Lots of women are like me.
but then i wont be rich enough
It hurts. When they reject you, it hurts. Everybody acts like it shouldn't which just makes you feel like there's something wrong with you. So many of them will flirt, but change their minds after you do something. You don't know what you did, but there's a noticable difference in her attitude. She no longer wants to be around you. And that makes you feel like a creep.
You keep trying to be positive. You follow all the guides. Workout six days a week, learn to play an instrument, build you confidence, get a high level education to be smarter, dress well and 30 other things. But it always ends the same. Can't even land a date.
It's hard to not feel worthless. Like there's something just wrong with you as a being. After awhile it just gets tiring and you don't wanna get hurt no more.
Then it's your responsibility to find out what you are doing wrong. Women already respond to you well initially, which is half the battle. So don't feel down you are 80% of the way there!. My hunch is that your behavior in subsequent interactions doesn't line up with how you initially presented yourself to her. You can't attract a girl with edgy boy energy and then switch to being a teddy bear as soon as you get comfortable around her, because then it seems like an act, and there's nothing a woman hates more than being deceived.
@@calebncontreras-117 My issue isn't that. My issue is that it feels like a job interview. It feels like you can't make the smallest of mistakes otherwise it's over. I listen to the older generations talk about how they met each other. And the women seem non judgmental at all. They were very forgiving if the guy was a goof and made a bunch of small mistakes. They didn't have a problem with giving him a bit of a push. They put in a bit of effort in making the relationship work. They also seemed to value his character way more than anything else.
Today it seems like women put in no effort at all. You have to do everything. And all the time it feels like she's judging every single little detail and is continually deciding whether you're worth her time. And honestly it may not be all women, but with most it just seems like they keep you around for what you can offer. Are you the smart one that can help with the homework? Can you fix me into clubs? Are you hot? Are you rich? Do you know a lot people? What can you offer me? What can you do for ME? It never feels like they care about who you are.
I don't know if I was lied to, but I was told by hollywood and pretty much all adults that unlike men, who see everything as an object, women are good with people. They're more emotionally intelligent and they're better at seeing a person as a person. But it doesn't feel like that at all with the women in my age group (early 20s). Most of them are superficial and shallow and opportunistic.
Please keep in mind that I'm not a sexist or are bitter about the world. I recognize that it's just the women in my age group and possibly just where I live. I also find myself equally confused when I look at young men. I mean most of us are pretty useless and I can understand why women wouldn't want us. But it's just the lack of effort they put in and how you have to work extremally hard to just be a blip on their radar. Like I realize you have options, and I'm happy for you. But maybe see things from my side of the pond and realize I don't have options at all. And I have to work for each one. I'm not asking you to pity me, but just treat me like person. Is that too much to ask for?
@@calebncontreras-117 Why did u take women's side when u absolutely don't know the women he interacted with? U could have been neutral. Y'all quick to blame guys when they all put so much effort in making women feel good abt themselves. Women are just receivers, not givers. We are the ones to approach, initiate and make an impression. Only to get rejected. Let women do all of that and get rejected multiple times and see how it feels like. Til then, don't give free advices and stop taking women's side SIMP.
@@dead7781 You nailed it! Hollywood did lie to you and things aren’t what they used to be for the older generation. You’re right. The world is a more competitive place and we all have more options in dating than ever before. But what if you chose to focus on the opportunities that the modern world gives you and not just how it makes things harder for you.
I was in the same position as you not even 2 years ago. Mad at the world and other people for not acting fairly or morally.
The road is hard and it sucks but don’t give up. It seems like looking for relationships at this point in your life isn’t working for you so maybe it’s time to focus on something else that you can actually find success in.
Have you looked into buying your first property? How about getting in the best shape of your life? You could travel and have adventures that will contribute to your growth as a person.
@@nightkingxxbro it’s not about sides. You can’t control others but you can control yourself, how you behave, and how you present yourself.
That’s all dude is saying. You called him a simp just for telling dude to work on himself yet you’re complains about being rejected. Nobody barely even says the word simp in real life. Get off the internet.
Not afraid of approaching women, concerned about the consequences. I see far more failed relationships than life-long. Under current laws, marriage only works for men if it's life-long.
If a relationship doesn't better your life, it won't happen, man or woman. We live in a world where the likelihood of both parties benefitting long-term is going down. Relationships will become less common unless the costs/benefits shift.
I agree. That’s the hard part for me personally. I can get dates and sex at a fair rate but I have very little confidence in them being wide/gf material. And many things back up this belief so I can’t really unconvince myself lol thus dating is quiet cumbersome
I'm a Christian and haven't approached a girl in a while cause I'm working on myself, but I'm fully prepared to find a nice girl and settle down within the next few years. One of the many perks of being a Christian is that, although the dating pool is significantly smaller, I know the girls out there are really genuine, actually want to get married, and have the right values. As long as you find a person you connect with and you know their faith is at the same stage as yours, the wondering what they're looking for isn't really a worry. Christians don't just date to date, they date with intention and purpose (seeing if marriage is a possibility) and if it works they may be engaged within a year. A Christian relationship reflects Christ's love for the church onto another person, it's (not supposed to be) for personal gain.
@@brianmeen2158 hey old man dont blame this generation because yours fucked up and passed a bunch of laws that changed the course of dating and marriage in the country, the kids today are just living with the rules and education your generation forced onto them.
Maybe if your generation didnt squander wealth and drop the ball on maintaining social order the kids today would have a chance.
I’m afraid of my wallet getting thinner. Women are the biggest expenditure for men. The surest way to financial freedom is stop chasing women.
yea dude, some women you meet seem to just ruin your life, I went to workouts for almost two years, then I was like let's meet a chick what's the worst that could happen, met her, it was all perfect then after some days she just ghosts me, then I get pissed, then I feel guilty for no reason, it's all super draining, I lose all my energy, even my mountain bike got stolen during this time, It just seems like women just fuck my life up everytime I try lol
And when they do they get called a creep because they aren’t 6ft tall or have model looks.
Being 6' doesn't magically unlock any doors. It wouldn't be much better if you were taller.
Looool dude get out of the house
Yes it does there's data that proves it
And wait for all the girls to come out that are sitting home watching Netflix waiting for Chad LOL
I'm 6'. I was a surfer in So Cal. A male model, an actor. I got cast in leads fairly regularly. Got rave reviews. Pictire in the paper. Point is I was known to be talented and successful in my field. Not some unknown schlub approaching them. I never even got to talk to them, so they could pick up on my intelligence, wit, humor, or my personality. They'd laugh in my face. Usually make a really nasty, cruel or mean remark. Then laugh with her friends at you as you walked away. Each time that happened, it got harder to shake it off, get my confidence to try again. That was in the 80s, a really wild era, great local bands...
To this day, I have no idea why they weren't interested and were so mean.
Finally I realized the definition of insanity was truly doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
I just stopped. Completely 30 years ago.
I still lie awake sometimes wondering why and remembering some of those laughs in my face in front of everyone. And it still hurts.
Risk aversion is definitely a factor but often it's a simple matter of risk/reward.
I'm quite happy living a life without drama or the constant need to satiate someone else's neediness or narcisissim.
A guy told me years ago, his girlfriend feels sad so he puts all his energy into making her feel good until he is exhausted. Then he spends a few weeks recharging his batteries to feel good about himself. Then she feels sad again and the cycles continues.
@@brianmeen2158 The risk is just too big for the reward sadly. Spend most of your life being raised up as a second-hand citizen, watch real men being churned and spit out by the system, seen as predators instead of providers/protectors, turned into sissies who'll accept any kind of bs. And then tell me what has more meaning than your own peace of mind.
@@brianmeen2158 And look where we are now.. those guys are as often as not now divorced and paying for it. And other people are paying attention to their situation.
@brianmeen2158 if you believe life is pain, then I'm assuming you partake in daily torture no?
Specially good looking women are all me me me
I once had a girl stand me up on a Saturday night date and then show up at my front door at 8am the next morning drunk off her ass to tell me she wasn't interested in me anymore.
😂
Hehe... What a good Samaritan she is.
At least she didn't text it
Wow hahah, well the truth come out when you're drunk
Ayyy bro, atleast you didnt pay for the date
As a 24 year old who has approached women. they’re either a hoe on only fans or there not single or there gay. Bunch of bull shit 😂 or they want to go to the bar all the time or be a drug addict. Which is the same thing to me 😂
Yea, them being a whore is the issue now days. Not all guys desire to sleep around all the time with women they aren't interested in. Sex is not a need to survive. A strong desire? Of course... but not a need. Many just want to raise a family.
Might be a location thing. Where do you approach?
@@liopleurodon155 lmao I don’t really think about where and I can’t really think of any particular place I ask, but it’s probably an overall area thing haha just need to move 😂
I'm actively fighting against the culture by approaching... and let me be the first to say, IT IS AN UPHILL BATTLE BRO 😭 I overstand why men don't approach/initiate and how demoralized we've become as a collective.
It's gotten so bad that, no joke, a non-trivial number of men believe that showing you're attracted or interested in a woman is wrong.
Really let that last sentence land... it goes beyond approach anxiety and fear of rejection. The very identity of men and their biological drives have been vilified to the extent that the men who aren't approaching feel like they're making a righteous decision. Like choosing not to steal or choosing to stop at red lights. They're following societal norms and rules, suffering all the while.
I feel for my brothers. I really wonder how much worse things will get, because as someone who frequents clubs/bars in LA I've witnessed the decline over the years. You see WAAAAAY less interactions between men and women now than you did 10 years ago.
Sounds like those redpill guys were right after all eh?
Underrated comment
Just be confident, bro!
“Guys only want one thing!”
That’s the message we’ve received for decades now. We’ve pathologized male sexuality to the where any expression of it is considered predatory. No decent man wants to be thought of as a predator.
Yup, it's far easier to shovel shit uphill. Best just to leave the bat shit crazy women alone.
do you blame them?
We and the media will have two different answers, lol
Yes
@@loveyourketo1433 thank you for proving mens point... women feel entitled to men's time & attention.
@@modehfy1352 who is we?
@@asdfdc1946 you should see your therapist
Risk is always in proportion to the reward. In the majority of cases the reward has depreciated vs what it was before. The risk is less appetising, this is also a factor.
Risk has gone up
Reward has gone down
nobody wants a failed approach put on instagram for the guy to be labeled a creep, for a woman who even IF they dated they likely wouldnt marry and even IF they married they likely would divorce.
Relationships have become a powder keg of negatives for men as Sex and Long term marriage are the only two benefits, Long term marriages almost dont exist anymore in the west (40+ years of marriage) and sex and marriage are completely decoupled now.
I'm 32 and I have never been in a serious relationship nor have I approached a woman. I started noticing the change in women very early on and felt it unnecessary to expose myself to the toxicity circulating amongst women. I strongly believe that social media has a major part to play here.
Wise.
Simple and well said
Yea I'm sure WOMEN are the reason you're single. But fr this is so obviously a coping mechanism.
@@globesurfer122The laws that destroy men are the problem. Until those change, it is wise for men to avoid long term relationships.
@@fatmonkey4716bro this is dumb ah. Dude said he never approached a woman in his entire life. How does he even have any rational perspective on woman if he never experienced one? This shii has nothing to do with your “the system is rigged” laws. He’s just afraid to put hisself out there and just came up with some bs justification to validate himself.
I knew a guy that tried the "ask 100 women out" bullshit, he did that, got rejected all 100 times and felt even worse.
That sounds ..
How many women have approached men in the last year??
None unless the mem are the 1%
@@emperorsean1lmao, I'm nearly 50 and have women approach me.
I'm certainly not 1%..
. I'm. Funny I'm told but not 1%.
thats not how supply and demand works chief
@@weazelsIf it was supply and demand then women should actually be asking men out, given what they demand from us.
I do get approached by women sometimes. It feels veeery nice. If feel bad for women, who are getting less and less approached. Definitely a loss of privilege.
I approached probably 100 women last year, I am fairly normal, good looking and in good shape. I got probably 3 phone numbers from this 100 approaches and all of them flaked for date after. It's not worth the energy, it is big time waster and mental preparation for no results. I stopped approaching women, just not worth it, dating is impossible in 2023.
Thank you a realistic comment on approaching
Same happened to me
So at school and at work, the only two places where you see a stranger on a regular basis to be able to judge their character besides physical attributes, it is now possible expulsion or fired if you approach someone, of either sex. Most people used to meet at school or work. So the only alternative is approach a stranger in public or turn to the apps, both of which are based on a momentary glipse of physical attraction.
@@forgottenfuryanHave you seen a Ted talk called I believe it's "own your face" It's a man who was born disfigured and with no legs. Eyes very far apart and no nose just a blob. Countless surgeries and hes still disfigured. He walks out on stage and talks about his life. He's married.
Last year? Try last decade. I have a perfect record of never having gotten any interest back from any woman I've ever approached and those that have approached me have always turned out not to be good matches for me, so I started working on improving myself a decade ago and I'm still busy with that.
Yeah, things on the dating scene has been getting increasingly bad for the past centuries, with technology, such as instagram, tinder, and so on putting that process on steroids.
As a man who has ignored women for decades I don’t really see them anymore I just walk past them
He's not referring to gay or asexual men. 🙄
@@Mmmmkaaay Wow, you really got him there! How old are you? Eight? Grow up.
As a woman we thank you, please continue to ignore us in every way.
@@misosoupermanThanks for another example of the modern women that add no value to men.
@@misosouperman What happens if you’re attacked by demonic spirits or AI should I still ignore you
“Show me the incentive, and I’ll show you the outcome”
BOOM! Nailed it with one phrase.
Don't approach women at work with romantic intent. You're taking an already risky situation and betting your job on it with no increase of potential reward.
Risk Vs reward. If there's limited or no reward, then why risk it?
This is pretty much it. Why bother (going through the stress) when the woman isn't worth your time anyway?
Sex, companionship, a life partner, love, children, family, purpose all seem like good rewards to me.
@@paulw7647Except those aren't given anymore.
@@paulw7647 if you're a beta.
@@paulw7647 if you get lucky
Your odds of getting cheated on : 40% non-marital relationship, 25% marital realtionship.
Your odds of getting divorced: 52%.
Tell me how the hell it's even worth the effort to find a relationship anymore.
I've been with my wife for 14 years. I've been married for 10. It has been the most important experience of my life. Do it. Worst case it doesn't work out and you get to do it all over again.
Wealth creation is way faster in a marriage. Married men/women have like twice the amount of assets at age 60 compared to unmarried m/w
@@liopleurodon155 To be fair, even if married people have more overall wealth, each spouse generally doesn't get to keep all of it for themselves. So based on what you're saying, an unmarried person with $100k in assets would roughly have the same amount of wealth per individual as the married couple with $200k despite the married couple having twice the amount of total assets.
@@liopleurodon155 >Married men/women have like twice the amount of assets at age 60 compared to unmarried m/w
there's a large amount of selection bias going on there. you'd need to account for the amount of wealth that people that *had* been married had lost in their divorce.
@@SolarCowboy I look forward to your divorce. Always remember, it's never too late for her to push the eject button for cash and prizes.
"Risk aversion" there are very real consequences for men in the real world. Chris you minimise the discomfit men experience and give women a free pass. Women expressed feelings of shame, at being rejected, why are you not minimising what women feel.
Women would probably face just as much rejection as men if they approached men. But they don't, for a myriad of reasons. The rejection women deal with is never being approached by men.
Havent met a woman who hasnt taken a piece of me once ive gotten to know them and supported them through their issues. The memes are funny and all but i wish whatever turned the frogs gay would hit me sometimes man.
Women are experts in resource extraction. The skill is kinda primal in them.
@@badem that seems to line up with my anecdotal experiences
Haha, indeed. Being gay sounds great. Good luck finding a woman with similar interests to males.
No kidding. If turning gay was an option for men, many would have gone that route already, lol.
This gay frog juice. Is it possible to micro dose just enough to never notice women? The whole man things seems a bit gross and excessive. I would have really liked a woman and mother in my life. I genuinely believe a good partnership means two plus two can equal 5. Unfortunately, all, and I mean all the women in my life have only been interested in money and its availability. In some cases by stealing from the man that cares for them. As someone who operates in a world of logic and reason... the statistical chances of finding anyone realistic, sane, single, loyal and truthful as well as half way intelligent and mutually attractive are effectively nil. If the frog juice can make you forget just how miserable and disappointing this is, that would be a bonus.
I just feel so awful for men these days. It pisses me off to see men at large treated like society's scapegoat for everything wrong in the world. I truly hope things improve in the not too distant future. You don't deserve this treatement.
what are you doing to change that though?
Thanks, sister. It really means a lot.
From my part, I'm sorry for all the selfish men who didn't treat women as people, and for all the resentful men who blame all women for how toxic women demonise us.
Nobody is to blame for what other people with the same dangly parts did to others, but is important to be understood and have the solidarity of other human beings.
I feel that this is rapidly changing
@@asdfdc1946 Starting with myself and my circle of people. It's not much, but it's something.
Don't care. These men are victims of thier own actions. If numbers exist, the pain can be shared.
There's very little upside to approaching.
Is there upside to not approaching? I'm 30 and I never approached anybody. I have nothing good to report about my situation. You're gonna tell me I'm one lucky sob, actually?
@@Rockownz5150your misery is of your own doing.
@@onionfarmer3044 It is abnormal and unenviable for humans to be perpetually single and perpetually touch-starved.
@@Rockownz5150 says on the internet. Most normal and calming place in nature.
Incorrect most men through history die without ever having a woman @@Rockownz5150
Why do many women reject men so harshly? Is it to signal status to their peers? To deter the men from approaching other women as a means of competing with them? As revenge on men in general for times they themself felt rejected or used by a man ?
Because most men don't respect their answers and will persist and stalk them.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 most men stalk them?
Riiiiiiiiiight.....
@@wyleecoyotee4252 I'mma call cap on that.
@@JezaLoki
In one way or another, yes.
There's a severe lack of empathy with most western women, they are the ones who reject men so harshly, even for so much as looking in their direction. Lot of women here have lost their nurturing, empathetic qualities from my observation. Also, many of them live with this paranoia that men are going to harm them if they get the chance, they'll perceive any slight deviation from what appears to be "appropriate" behavior as threatening and red-flag, even if there's no malice behind their behavior.
Funny how Chris won't talk to Peter Nolan and talk about divorce courts.
Yeah, once you approach somebody, a horrible divorce where you lose your house (which you don't even have) is right around the corner.
@@Rockownz5150 Indeed, it is.
There used to be laws against infidelity. Now it isn't even a factor when deciding how much money women get paid for destroying a family on a whim.
Why on earth these "experts" are speaking about it as-if "approaching" and "flirting" is some natural human behaviour whose "art" somehow "is being forgotten" by men today. This is complete and utter b*ll*cks. For the entire human history and prehistory the vast majority of human beings lived in tribal settings, small communities, and even those few in the cities lived in neighborhoods resembling small town settings. People knew each other since birth, most were related (cousins of 2nd, 3rd degree etc.), there was absolutely no need for "approaching". Social settings were solid and fossilised, marriages were arranged for the most without excluding romances (it is not that parents did not ask their childrens' preferences - they just had a numbered selection). For your age and social class, there were 5-6 options at best, and you (and your parents) had to act quickly since marriages were all booked in the age of 18-21 for men and 16-19 for women. Flirting was inconsequential in most settings since everyone knew each other, so a man, even if he wanted, could not "flirt" with the woman since the woman knew everything about him - it was rather the young man's life-stance, work and of course familial background that made all the difference : all the man had to do is to remain a gentleman and present a good face in society honouring himself and his family. Because, and it has to be said, if he tried to woo flirt-like a girl, he'd pass as a "wannabe-casanova", which was badly seen, he would face the ire of the girl's father and brothers as he risked not just the girl's reputation but also of all the family, and it was a recipe for disaster that could end up even up to murder. Hence, anything remotely close to "flirting" could take place only during village dances, done under the auspices of the parents and of the whole village. Flirting as we know it would be extremely rare and would invariably be done to women of zero reputation (i.e. unmarriageable women such as those who lost virginity, who were one step before becoming prostitutes).
There is a reason why men have an aversion to flirting and it is far deeper than these "experts" want to claim - yet even them they recognise this fact, that the "fear" men have is guttural, instinctive... but no, they won't acknowledge that flirting is not natural and they keep pretending that it is any major way for men to find women. Sure it is, today, but there is nothing natural in what we do today. Even as recently as in the 1920s, flirting and "asking out" was, with rare exceptions, mostly a sexual/romantic strategy of.... homosexuals, not of heterosexual people. So let us stop pretending that this is something natural when even men who are actually successful in flirting admit them too that they do not particularly enjoy it, they just do it to get access to sex.
In reality men who do it successfully, they do not flirt at all. They are just automatically attractive so all they have to do is to just avoid saying something extremely stupid, that is all. For the big majority of time though, flirting is at best time loss, at worst it may result in really unpleasant outcomes. Men should rather concentrate on improving their socio-financial position and just cultivating their social circle so that it includes a large number of people, thus also quite some women in there, so that they discern those who are eyeing them, so that they can "hot approach" - this has nothing to do with what people imply by flirt (i.e. more or less the cold approach).
Yeah I could have sworn I read something similar like this in a book
@@nobodysperfect06 Which book was that? I would be interested to check it. The above I did not read anywhere, it is just a distillation of my general history knowledge and things I have heard - e.g. the fact that in spite of all the Romantic movement of the 19th century, flirting was still not a major approach tactic of men till the 1920s and that flirting and dating was back then a thing of homosexuals, I heard it from Roosh V. Roosh of course researched for years these issues and I have no reason to counter, as it sounds also reasonable : flirting is all about innuendos, and homosexuals back then had indeed to operate with innuendos so as to find other homosexuals. It just sounds reasonable.
The fact that flirting and dating were never natural human behaviours I can get it from all ancient and medieval Greek sources - and there are plenty. There is this medieval poem about this great warrior Constantis, and this poem describes his epic battles, how he dived on his horse into the mass of enemies chopping them badly, killing scores and such. And when he returns back home he sees this young beautiful girl and he dares not speak a word but runs to his mother (father dead) to plead her to go talk to the mother of the girl and ask her if she is willing to marry him. Yeah! Great flirting technique from the Alpha Chad of the Middle Ages! But see.... this is how it was done back then. Parents filtered their son/daughter's wishes, parents would meet up with the other parents, the other parents would ask their daughter/son and if the answer was yes, there would be a new meeting and an engagement, in preparation to marriage.
I am not saying that this is what it has to be. I am just describing how people paired up since time immemorial. People think that e.g. in Paleolithic times men roamed around and wooed by flirting girls. Not at all. All "flirting" was filtered through parents and marriages were arranged likewise without excluding love-stories. Other than that, it was basically rape, i.e. powerful men abducting poor women or women from conquered tribes. Again no flirting as we know it.
@dinos9607 I forgot the name of it but I do remember the name of the author though. Justin Stenstrom. So are you saying that for most of human history or just centuries ago or Generations ago the way couples got together was similar to like how arranged marriage is?
I don't think it's just about risk aversion though. It's culturally discouraged to approach women now. 10 years ago I was able to approach a little bit. Some women would still complain about it and call you a creep, but since dating apps was not the norm back then, there was this general understanding that men had to approach women for society to function properly.
So you were approaching women and they called you creepy? Just out of curiosity, how old were you and how old were they?
You are absolutely right brother!
I'm 27 and I've never approached a woman. Been approached a few times at clubs when I was younger, but rarely did I follow it up because I was too shy 😭After the lockdown situation I feel as if my social skills have dwindled and I've never been the same since (confidence wise & socially)
You can regain that confidence and even surpass it IF you make it an actual goal.
That whole bug situation really was the last blow to an already socially crumbling society.
Hell I’m 44 and I haven’t approached a women in over a decade.
You'll be surprised how many women feel the same. Don't know about you, but social patterns have somewhat changed, people go to nightclubs less...but more people go walking in nature and other outdoor activities.
Visit an escort
Hopefully that number doubles in the next year.
@@brianmeen2158 Sadly, tons of men are being a bunch of petty babies on this topic.
@@brianmeen2158 So that our point gets across instead of being dismissed, like you just did.
We are not as afraid of being told no, as we are afraid of being told "YES". We are very well aware of the fact that a yes would, more likely than not, be the first step on a long road of regret and disappointment. We all know of guys who have been down a road like that. But a successful, happily married man with well adjusted kids, all under the same roof, is almost fiction. It is a risk to just be alone in the same room with a female. Accusation and guilt is now the same thing.
It's so bad women are starting to approach men and they really hate doing that.
They hate doing anything that could potentially make them look bad or embarrassing. Only strong and independent when it suits them!
That's true and it's kinda sad that I get some enjoy out of it lol
Yeah because we started to do math and spending more money for less quality is ridiculous.
Rejection rate to high, so men can’t be bothered👀 especially in the west. They 🧢 hard about the approach number leading to dates.
Like 10 % numbers and of those 90 % flakes.. so its like 500 approaches to get 1 laid..and... You have to live in a city where you can approachthose numbers..
To be fair, I grew up without dating apps and I approached women a few times in my life for fun-hated it. I spoke with a girl once and wanted to walk away from her because she was so stupid and full of herself since I talked to her. It gives them more power. They hold all of the cards in a game you may not even like playing.
You don't get noticed unless your an actor, athlete singer or something extraordinary. Unless your do something that good, you will always get skipped! Even if you have lots of money. Glad I went underground from women 9 years ago after being skipped all the time. Women have chosen drug addicts and gang members over me so that says a lot. When I was looking, they shrugged me off, but now that I no longer want to, they want to all of the sudden. But, I have walked away already and I no longer respond to them. I keep hearing that it's already 50% of men that have walked away! And, it will only get worse. We need to fix this mess for the future generations since it has already damaged the current generation. I pray for all of you! Stay safe out there
"You don't get noticed unless your an actor, athlete singer or something extraordinary." Even if you do work hard to become one of these things, you just have to do some research on how many of these men are divorced to understand NOTHING is ever enough, and even lack of notice from woman can be better than notice for how much the current society supports woman in their destruction of the family.
Thank you for posting these I listen every day while I work out blessings
Didnt even finish the vid. Knew they were gonna fuck it up.
I mean women have been saying that, they don't want to be approached for the better part of a decade. Why wasn't this mentioned? To then turn around and act shocked, when numbers are decreasing is perplexing. Yeah, even the men you find attractive are less likely to talk to you. Dating apps don't help and women not knowing how to be courted doesn't help, there is a lot mroe going on and it's not just men.
Chris, censoring your comments says a LOT about you.
Chris IS proud about him censoring comments, he mentioned that a couple of time in his podcasts. And I agree, it's the most micropenis thing one can do on the internet.
However, keep in mind that RUclips also automatically censors your comments. If your comments mention women, race, crime, intelligence or things like that, it is very likely going to be disappeared without a trace by the google censorbots. A couple of years ago it was also triggered if you criticized the chinese communist party - not joking, look it up.
Risk / Reward. The odds of a positive outcome for most guys are extremely low.
50% of men where? Location and demographics play a factor. Also societal pressures. Blue haired people can really turn you off to approaching and dating
Oregon, 33 year old Caucasian. I've never approached a random woman to ask for a date.
The number really doesn't say too much when you consider that from a certain age many dudes probably stop trying, or at least don't try too hard. Once the whole starting a family thing is no longer on the menu, relationships become much less important.
I live in the crapfest state of california, and half the women have shrapnel on their face. Makes it very easy to write off a woman, but it is annoying when almost all of them have that stupid style to make a statement.
@@Volkbrecht Yea, but that usually wont become a reality until the average guy is close to, or in his 40s. So that is a long time for a man to suffer in silence and loneliness, only for it to end with no hope to raise a family (for those that want to raise one that is, which is the vast majority).
@@someone-ji2zb True, but according to statistics he will still live for about another 30 to 40 years at that point, while up to it he only lived for about 25. Not saying one will instantly turn happy once relationships become optional, just that the number is not as catastrophic as it may sound. Guys are still trying where it counts.
Passport bros, body counts, prenups and she takes everything, men needs to assess risk with these streets holes nowadays.
Cold approach is begging. Only dogs beg.
I spent like 2 years approaching women. I never got any better at it but i developed a tolerance for rejwction and awkwardness. I got laid loads from sheer numbers. Not even sure i learned anything tbh but at least i smesh
Boomhauer method +desensitisation ( which gives you the air of confidence) works wonders to smash
I never have and never will cold aproach a random woman to ask for a date. Unless she is giving obvious cues and trying to get my attention i will talk to her. But in my mind that's not cold, it's a warm approach i guess.
Yea that is kind of how it use to be anyway. Either you grew up in a smaller community of people and already knew the women, or the women would give you very obvious signs that they actually want to be approached.
I will tell you this, as it is something I have noticed as I no longer have a working vehicle. I have to walk everywhere for the most part, and even on busy streets with a lot of traffic/witnesses, women are always looking down walking past. Men always are looking straight ahead and will meet your gaze and give a passing greeting, but women are not like that anymore. Even in broad daylight, tons of people around to see if something happens, a woman wont even respond to your "hello" unless they are 60+ years old.
Yea, a lot of men aren't going to play that game, and I don't really blame anyone.
Last year? How about their entire life?
I'd like to know the percentage of men approaching as a function of height and income.
NO MORE DATING AND MARRYING WOMEN .
Stay strong kings 👑🔥
No King here. Just Very Savage.
Is that what your boyfriend calls you
@@tuckerbugeater His Nigerian boyfriend whose wallet & passport blew away while he was working on an oil rig & now he's stranded at customs with a fine to pay.
for me it began as fear then over the years the rejection just became a pattern. now there is no fear and no rejection just reality
50% of all men 18-30 or 50% of non-married men?
Funny watching chads hypothesize on dating. Ugly men are not approaching because it's a waste of time, not because they lack confidence.
Approached a girl at my gym the other day. Nothing crazy just introduced myself to her and little workout group. I know it’s risky at the gym but we always make eye contact and go around the same time. I’m coming out of a long term relationship so getting back into the dating world is crazyyyyy lol. Always feel like the best thing to do is don’t have expectations and just go for it. Took awhile tho lol
Good for you, man! It’s jarring how afraid people are of simple human interaction. If you’re able to to that, you’ll stand out in a good way!
@@Dapryor it’s funny I’m an outgoing person and can talk to almost anyone but when it comes to approaching someone I’m potentially interested in all that goes out the window lol. It’s just something you have to get used too
And that's how we get on the gym creep tiktoks. At a gym? Are you nuts or just very very lucky?
@@dominick358 everyone feels that way but you’re the one with the balls to overcome it. Fuck the haters and keep doing your thing.
@@forgottenfuryan are you male or female?
I have only ever approached one woman in my life (back in 2012). I will never do it again.
@ChrisWlilliamson
Chris you ask the right questions, i like your FRAMEWORK for thought, these questions generate a lot of conversation
I’m a introvert and have really bad social anxiety and PTSD and narcissistic abuse
I have but only a single fear when approaching women: falsely accusing me of something. That's it, and it is a powerful enough reason to stop a lot of men in their tracks. I don't even care about being rejected since rejection actually makes men mentally stronger, as I have been rejected more than enough during my youth (I am 39). The other side to this argument could be 'not all women,' sure, that goes without saying, but let's not pretend that is the norm for current day.
I was approaching a lot back before COVID, but since then due to a lot of factors I just haven't been seeing women I _want_ to approach.
When you're covered in tattoos with your face buried in your phone I'm just not interested. At all.
Todays women are nutso….that’s why I don’t approach them. 🤙
You don't like nose rings, blue hair, tattoos, and 300lbs of lard?
The juice aint worth the squeeze. Too much risk, and too much effort for what you get out of it.
I don’t approach women at all because I made it to become financially independent, built a nice peaceful life and have zero problems. I will tell you it takes a lot of work to get to zero problems. No money problems, no addictions, no baggage, super fit etc. majority of people have some sort of problems. Why would I get into a relationship and likely inherent someone else’s problem and add more part time jobs, financier, court jester, lover, plumber, desktop support, etc. and later get taken to grape court. Shiii women getting what they asked for. I’m on my way to early retirement and not giving free rides. As the trope goes didn’t want me in your prime don’t want you in your decline.
Women are too toxic. Feel like I got the last chopper out of Saigon with my wife.
I'm lucky enough that I do get approached quite regularly, if I actually bother to go to social outings. But in my experience the ones that do approach you aren't exactly relationship material.
Either emotionally unstable or sexually extroverted or both. I can see why most women don't do it, as that's what they will be associated with.
Approaching the ones you find interesting is definitely a better strategy. But now that I've learned which women to better avoid, I have yet to meet a single interesting one.
Out of the ones that reciprocate interest, they either bore me to death or they are a walking parade of red flags.
Are the boring ones too much of goody two shoes?
Most men have just worked out the juice aint worth the squeeze anymore.
As a man who approached 200 plus women, dare I say it aint worth it .
Tried, didn't work out; thought it was amicable but friendly outcome, and now I am to a degree vilified by peers for daring to feel. Failure in trying to succeed is one thing and isn't an issue. But risk of being looked at as a quasi MeToo story really kills the drive to ever want to dare to ask another girl out the next time another one flirts with me.. nothing but mixed signals and results lol. West is a clown world and god damn what I would trade to give up the innate desire for intimacy for literally anything else if it wasn't part of being human.
"But risk of being looked at as a quasi MeToo story really kills the drive to ever want to dare to ask another girl out the next time another one flirts with me.."
You articulated the current state of affairs well. This is pretty much the whole issue..I know a guy who was falsely accused for being a creep in grad school despite having no intentions to even date her. University didn't properly follow due process, and he didn't get the chance to even properly defend himself. The girl for some reason dropped the case ( possibly because she realized there wasn't any evidence for her allegations and will blow in her face) but by that time, the damage was already done. After being expelled from his research group and without any advisor to fund him, he had to abandon the university and his career forever.
I've never approached a woman, I'm 30. Ready to ignore your laughs.
Chris and his guest once more failed to provide any context regarding the demographics of the groups. In my experience, it has consistently been women who approached me, with no instances of me initiating contact throughout my life. However, I've noticed a pattern where the approaches are consistently from two specific groups: single mothers and women who are approximately far older than me. Who in the right mind would be interested in dating individuals who are the same age as their own mother or those who come with one or two children from previous relationships, thanks but no thanks and if the ones that are successful with apporaching this type of women, I would not call it really success to be honest.
Same experience here, like 90% of the time, its those single mothers and women way older than me giving me their undivided attention. Gee I wonder why it doesn't happen from women around the same age? The answer is obvious - Young women only consider a very narrow % of men attractive, most others are invisible.
I've just got rejected by two women in the same month at my workplace both in couple apparently but both gave me the I want/ like you flirting look you k ow these eye contacts for days so I tired my shot to no avail. My dudes I'm about to just give up on this nonsense lol
50% not approaching that number is to low must increase it to a 100% minimum.
We approached women... then we moved out of the way to avoid impact.
Yep. I'm in that bunch.
If i wanted to get burned id stick my hand on the stove. And if i wanted to play games thats what i bought a playstation for.
I'm 25 and have never actively approached a woman. I've also never approached any men to make friends. It's not that I'm risk-avoidant, I just don't see any reason to do so!
Shit, I haven't approached a woman for over a decade. I also haven't touched an electric fence recently either, eventually you just learn your lesson, there is no potential for a positive outcome.
This risk aversion thing is very weird. I've done fight sports, stand up comedy, 2 things people are super afraid of. But I never felt like i had a higher level of bravery with cold approaches. I've done a cold approach only once this year with no success. I usually only hit on women within social groups. I'm way more successful that way.
Problem is that these days you have to do the crocodile Dundee test
People come with too much baggage, and should really come with warning signs.
Someone can be a horrible partner, then just move on to some other poor unsuspecting victim.
I'm 30 and I've never approached a woman. This way I avoid the embarassment and pain of rejection, and also never put women in an unpleasant situation.
If I was a woman, I wouldn't want somebody like me, either, so I hold no resentment towards them.
Geeesch dude have some grace for yourself. Treat yourself well and become those things you admire. And it's not embarrassing unless you put too much do or die energy to it. Once you date a few women you'll realize they don't deserve the pedestal you've built for them.
@@patrickx2420 I don't know if I've built a pedestal for them. I simply know women are much more picky than men and there's no good reason for them to pick me.
That is the most pathetic thing I have read in a while. Really isn't any sugar coating it
If you want to find a woman, then you can choose to work out, improve life skills, and overall just be a man who is suppose to improve as your life progresses. Staying inside playing video games all day after work is not improving.
It’s in the eye of the beholder, yeah, old school term but it works. Seize the day ! We all see ourselves a little differently to how others read us..we see our own flaws way more than others do in my experience. The handsome chiselled jaw types can sometimes be muppets, not always. Point is relax, be chilled, respectful, & stay away from dating apps if poss, can of worms. you’ll never know, if you don’t give it a go! & didn’t mean for that to rhyme but love me some Dr Seuss. 🥳
@@someone-ji2zb My actions show that I don't want to find a woman, or at least, clearly, that I don't want to enough.
I didn't come here to whine, "boo-hoo, why can't I find somebody to love me?", I know the answer to that.
I'm chasing my career in aircraft mechanics and will absolutely not let females near me when at work or to my domicile. Had a friend in a pilot program get kicked out for handshaking a female. Swear to god that was one of their reasons.
A friend and coworker of mine had to move to Australia, because a chick at our company started to spread rumours about him being creepy and violent. Some months later the chick started hitting on me - heeell noo.
I also had a GF (suicidal, manic depressive bipolar) who after I broke up with her sent her friends to people I know with pamphlets saying "this is how you recognize abusers" and tried to convince my friends, including my new girlfriend that I'm abusive, lol.
I'm lucky I was in uni at that time, otherwise if she did that shit at my workplace my career would have been crippled.
I am happily married now to a hot young asian woman I met online but when I was in my thirties I remember thinking how much preferable it was to be alone then be rejected.
So you got her abroad ?
@@matgamer5916 straight from the source!
White men with Asian woman 😂😂😂
@@Ruxl21 yes, it is funny how jealous men of other races are that white guys get to have relationships with asian women.
@@Ruxl21 we like what we like 😉
I wonder how many have considered approaching us. It wouldn't even require much game.
It's more important to protect yourself, than it is to be nice.
Interesting conversation.
I spent over a decade since I last approached.
Having a real job will do that.
I feel like we’re not supposed to approach women anymore
I approach girls and in real life the interaction is good but when I get to texting it feels completely different, maybe it's my anxiety or hers or both, and most girls already have boyfriends, I guess I gotta approach more but it feels super draining
Im not sure I understand how cold approaching strangers is better than a dating app. In both cases you are starting a conversation cold and basically going off looks alone, but with the app there are certain characteristics you can filter out.