Ep. 105 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @christianc1549
    @christianc1549 3 года назад +817

    Bert is one ceiling fan and a bad camera angle away from being a certified cool guy

    • @dalelane1948
      @dalelane1948 3 года назад +16

      ummmm im pretty sure its Brett, like a 100%

    • @Sonicboom50000
      @Sonicboom50000 3 года назад +13

      @@dalelane1948 Aaaaaaaauuuggghhhh HUNDRED percent.

    • @spencerb_3
      @spencerb_3 3 года назад +3

      Definitely Brent Crystals

    • @vende6137
      @vende6137 3 года назад +2

      @@dalelane1948 One HUNDRED Percent!

    • @beardedrake9983
      @beardedrake9983 3 года назад +3

      You talking about Bruce?

  • @Ben-ec5fm
    @Ben-ec5fm 3 года назад +149

    Bert: “so how was your weekend”
    Tom: “it was okay I-“
    Bert: “oh my god so did I tell you about”

  • @dafatboy101
    @dafatboy101 3 года назад +614

    I’m convinced Bart’s “panic attacks” are just withdrawals

    • @kevingibson2519
      @kevingibson2519 3 года назад +44

      His convo with Steve-O seriously hits home. It's the only time I've ever seen Bert realize he has a problem. I'm holding out hope that Steve-O tries to help him.

    • @ExistentialBordem
      @ExistentialBordem 3 года назад +34

      Rebound anxiety from the alcohol n Xanax he takes uhhhh hundred percent.

    • @CCitis
      @CCitis 3 года назад +28

      @@kevingibson2519 Everyone laughs about it, but the man has got a fucking problem. I hope he sorts it before it catches up. You cannot go hard like that and live a healthy life. Seen it too many times.

    • @anastasiarave7820
      @anastasiarave7820 3 года назад +35

      Absolutely. From personal experience I know the things he’s talking about. The weight gain, anxiety, racing thoughts, fatty liver, protruding gut, waking up suddenly, fear, forgetting things… all of it. He needs to get help or he’s going to die. No amount of saunas, ice baths, treadmill runs, or weightlifting sessions are going to cancel out the booze.

    • @CCitis
      @CCitis 3 года назад +12

      @@anastasiarave7820 You got it... 8 years sober here, never was at a point where I was physically addicted... but he can't keep it up.

  • @steinism8076
    @steinism8076 3 года назад +67

    gotta say tom gives jim a run for his money on those "look at the camera" moments

  • @AXLFREEDOM
    @AXLFREEDOM 3 года назад +200

    I can't believe that Bert still calls the movie "Precious Gems" even after the Adam Sandler incident

    • @claudia_acvs1901
      @claudia_acvs1901 3 года назад +3

      and the booth boys even corrected him again lol

    • @CakesTv1337
      @CakesTv1337 3 года назад +3

      Or the fact he says he just saw it lol

    • @Smiley-Coyote
      @Smiley-Coyote 3 года назад +5

      He's got SEVERE ADHD, probably one of the few legit cases on Earth honestly.. that and/or he's having a series of mini strokes, but honestly I think his mouth moves faster than his brain can think.

    • @drewcifer_420
      @drewcifer_420 3 года назад +1

      I can

    • @itsthedark0ne152
      @itsthedark0ne152 3 года назад +3

      @@Smiley-Coyote as someone with bad ADHD and used to be in a school just for us.....yes, he acts exactly like the kids in my classes and myself. once it's in my head it MUST come out. 😂😂😂

  • @Dr.RichardBanks
    @Dr.RichardBanks 3 года назад +428

    Pretty damn excited about this Mondays episode of bert talks while Tom watches

    • @MyhorseInthegravy
      @MyhorseInthegravy 3 года назад +18

      Should be 1 Bear 1 Cave. Tom said Bart is endearing. Thank god Tom doesn’t have to be around him all the time because I don’t see the friendship lasting for very very obvious reasons. He needs help in several areas of his life, with the first one shushing up to let other people talk. Thank god Tom has other podcasts, because we get to hear him talk! Yay! Way funnier too. 👍🏽❤️❤️❤️

    • @lenny6485
      @lenny6485 3 года назад +12

      Yea Brat ruins the show

    • @jakeweber2589
      @jakeweber2589 3 года назад +18

      I only made it 20 minutes in before i had to shut it off...Bert doesnt shut the fuck up and could not possibly be more annoying in this one.

    • @Dr.RichardBanks
      @Dr.RichardBanks 3 года назад +6

      @@jakeweber2589 I honestly felt the same way. I cooked while it played instead of watching watching.

    • @donquias903
      @donquias903 3 года назад +11

      Tom tries to tell stories while he interrupted every 5 seconds with something unrelated. He’s incredibly patient

  • @jdh152
    @jdh152 3 года назад +92

    "Homie you just made a coffee stout" is the line of the MF morning

  • @JSorb
    @JSorb 3 года назад +163

    “I wanna talk about that, put a pin in it”
    -Goes directly back into talking about himself.

    • @squigtonianmayhem4602
      @squigtonianmayhem4602 3 года назад +5

      Amazing, isn't it.

    • @JFKennedeez
      @JFKennedeez 3 года назад +1

      I bet you smell like salmon

    • @ApocalypticSigns
      @ApocalypticSigns 3 года назад +1

      Episode 105 and this is new for you? Lol.

    • @JSorb
      @JSorb 3 года назад

      @@ApocalypticSigns no, it’s not at all! That’s why it’s funny to point out.

  • @fernperez4218
    @fernperez4218 3 года назад +30

    Bert reminds me of a dog that’s been home all day waiting to see their owner, and then when he sees Tom he can’t control himself and his emotions just spill out all at once

  • @matthewjones9716
    @matthewjones9716 3 года назад +99

    Bert is hilariously in denial. Drinking is literally the root of all his issues.

  • @laurenclark1304
    @laurenclark1304 3 года назад +225

    Tom is in such a state of exhaustion, he never stood a chance against Bert drinking a beer/coffee bomb. This is BEYOND off the rails!

    • @will-i-am386
      @will-i-am386 3 года назад +6

      Not at all ...he loves the shit it only takes a little nudge for Bert to be problematic and great radio and TV. It's too easy for Tom

    • @kevingibson2519
      @kevingibson2519 3 года назад +13

      @@will-i-am386 A year ago I might have agreed with you. Now it's pretty obvious he's starting to really worry about him. The last pod where Bert described walking into their room while they were asleep was so cringe it hurt. The dude has a problem and I really hope he works on it.

    • @variaxi935
      @variaxi935 3 года назад +1

      Don't you mean Brat Kruscher

    • @daniel-eg2oq
      @daniel-eg2oq 3 года назад +1

      @@kevingibson2519 Not worried enough to stop egging on the behavior and stories for views tho

    • @noprob364
      @noprob364 3 года назад +1

      Lauren Clark please stand up

  • @danielcooper9899
    @danielcooper9899 3 года назад +1117

    You could skip to any given moment during this podcast and you’ll hear Bart talking about not having an alcohol problem.

    • @Doorito_
      @Doorito_ 3 года назад +43

      More chance of getting an ad read

    • @greentea2521
      @greentea2521 3 года назад +2

      @@Doorito_ you guys

    • @coltonbittner
      @coltonbittner 3 года назад +12

      Lmfao literally true I skipped to 27:15 immediately after reading

    • @FeetSmellGreat
      @FeetSmellGreat 3 года назад +37

      It’s fkn crazy at this point. The denial is seriously sad to watch.

    • @pikasnipe1
      @pikasnipe1 3 года назад +4

      And last week I thought we finally astablished he is starting to have a problem. That is the first step.

  • @Ramboskates85
    @Ramboskates85 3 года назад +684

    Those aren’t “panic attacks” they’re called the shakes and you get them from being an alcoholic bert lol

    • @danny3487
      @danny3487 3 года назад +52

      Combined with withdrawal from the Xanax

    • @ExistentialBordem
      @ExistentialBordem 3 года назад +98

      @@danny3487 this is something no one mentions. He openly talks about taking Xanax too. Theyre both GABA agonists. He's off the rails but high functioning... That's probably been him his entire life. He's simultaneously self aware and full of self lies. It's not charming anymore.

    • @nolanlynch2430
      @nolanlynch2430 3 года назад +36

      Hes not an alcoholic. He just uses it as his brand and drinks alot and can't see life without it.

    • @ogpapabless9777
      @ogpapabless9777 3 года назад +45

      You try drinking 128 ounces of red Kool aid and stand still

    • @zoothief
      @zoothief 3 года назад +4

      Ahhh good for him, better to burn out than fade out. He a star let him shine

  • @ElliottTimpf
    @ElliottTimpf 3 года назад +32

    Burnt: “The”
    Nadav: HahahahahahHaAHahAhaHahAhahaHAhah

  • @claytonhooper9981
    @claytonhooper9981 3 года назад +22

    Bret not thinking that Tom and him have different crowds is mind boggling

  • @MalorieMelts
    @MalorieMelts 3 года назад +342

    Bart “if you workout you’re not an alcoholic” Kersher

    • @redsnflr
      @redsnflr 3 года назад +17

      I pity his organs.

    • @HeyImBrim
      @HeyImBrim 3 года назад +10

      If you don't shoot herion you aren't actually an addict.

    • @John-lo4xz
      @John-lo4xz 3 года назад +1

      @@mindyourbusiness6293 underrated

    • @kanifalam7835
      @kanifalam7835 3 года назад +13

      The panic attacks are back. That's the alcohol. No it's not.🤣

    • @tengukaze9199
      @tengukaze9199 3 года назад +5

      That's why I only snort heroin

  • @anthonyschlitt7752
    @anthonyschlitt7752 3 года назад +203

    You can see it in Tom's face this entire podcast how exhausting Bert is when he is drinking lmao

    • @420lito
      @420lito 3 года назад +6

      The same face he has during every episode of YMH with his wife. He is OVER it!

    • @Wonkoman42
      @Wonkoman42 3 года назад +1

      Just wait til the next episode that they are recording right after this one! Doesn’t matter if he keeps drinking or not, all the alcohol that he had this episode will still be making it’s way into his system.
      Buckle up.
      Unless, of course, it’s just completely useless material and they scrap it.

    • @707romo707
      @707romo707 3 года назад +5

      You’ve never been sober around a drunk person before? Lol

    • @ryanp6999
      @ryanp6999 3 года назад +1

      @@707romo707 it’s incredibly annoying depending on the person. Burt just chirps a lot which can be annoying

  • @thomasjameson6707
    @thomasjameson6707 3 года назад +1138

    I like how Bert has an excuse for all of his ailments but alcohol is never the problem

    • @bmfrandomness1565
      @bmfrandomness1565 3 года назад +56

      Typical alcoholic. 🤣😂

    • @ole_limberlegs
      @ole_limberlegs 3 года назад +17

      "Just a little cocktail "

    • @Cyxz666
      @Cyxz666 3 года назад +63

      "When I stop drinking I start feeling better. I don't know what that's all about"

    • @someguy1369
      @someguy1369 3 года назад +15

      Who tf is Bert???
      We know Barf Crystals

    • @MisterChief1117
      @MisterChief1117 3 года назад +43

      Steve-o alrdy told Bert straight up that something he was complaining about at the time was a key trait of alcoholism

  • @turdiousmcfurgeson1570
    @turdiousmcfurgeson1570 3 года назад +8

    Tom looking at the camera when Bert says dumb shit has opened up a whole new avenue of laughs for me.

  • @jupiterokachobee1532
    @jupiterokachobee1532 3 года назад +12

    This podcast is just Toms application for a doctorate in psychology. We're privileged to get to watch their sessions

  • @johnharrison4400
    @johnharrison4400 3 года назад +328

    Berts ability to talk about something and then almost immediately say “what were we talking about” is insane.

    • @buttmuncher9030
      @buttmuncher9030 3 года назад +5

      Put a pin in that!

    • @marycallahan7795
      @marycallahan7795 3 года назад +7

      He’s buzzed or hungover most of the time.

    • @charlottem.1477
      @charlottem.1477 3 года назад +5

      ADD and few other things.

    • @bradsully6620
      @bradsully6620 3 года назад +8

      Wet brain.

    • @chobblegobbler2536
      @chobblegobbler2536 3 года назад +11

      Tom has suggested neurological testing and would even pay for it in full no matter the scope or financial burden to him. Brent Krushner still refuses this help.

  • @newamerikangospel
    @newamerikangospel 3 года назад +115

    And just like that, everyone forgot the “wiping with my finger” stories from Bert

  • @terrenceedmondson9846
    @terrenceedmondson9846 3 года назад +194

    Bark: “I’m not an alcoholic, I just like to drink.”
    Tim: “They have coffee infused cocktails!”
    Bernie: “Do they have shots!!!” *Drooling*

    • @Filiolus
      @Filiolus 3 года назад +10

      @@AgendaInMind Cool story bro.
      So anyway bert needs help.

    • @leojensen9270
      @leojensen9270 3 года назад +1

      @@AgendaInMind and what medical evidence do you have to support these anecdotes?

    • @maddogkilla1
      @maddogkilla1 3 года назад

      Bark? Bernie? Wtf, Are you dumb?

    • @leojensen9270
      @leojensen9270 3 года назад +1

      @Pix Zle i was talking to @agenda in mind about his really long bs about sickness

    • @shelbyd5095
      @shelbyd5095 3 года назад

      @Chris I was about to say..

  • @Burgerform
    @Burgerform 3 года назад +16

    Bert: "i'm reaching my ass pretty well". Toms reaction is the best.

  • @SunflowerDogs
    @SunflowerDogs 3 года назад +6

    Burp's alcoholic dead-eye stare really brings back some fun childhood memories, what a cool guy!

  • @theblankyblankness
    @theblankyblankness 3 года назад +451

    Tom doesn't wear his glove with his special friend cause he'll just copy him.

    • @sarahmcdevitt6000
      @sarahmcdevitt6000 3 года назад +3

      😂

    • @ViewedOak
      @ViewedOak 3 года назад +5

      If Brent starts wearing a glove people are just gonna think it’s cause he’s tok’d

    • @jacobverlee6891
      @jacobverlee6891 3 года назад +3

      Lmao didn't even think of the glove

    • @MoneyHungryPig
      @MoneyHungryPig 3 года назад +1

      they record a bunch of episodes back to back in the same day. i dont think tom started wearing a glove at this point.

    • @stimpsonsutube
      @stimpsonsutube 3 года назад

      There’s definitely a type of dude that wears one glove, I saw a gas pumper rocking that look last week, it is the urban dictionary’s definition of “edgy”
      *edit: Tom wears the glove for humor, but I have seen real life Tok’s thinking that the one glove thing is somehow cool

  • @joey_ferrari24
    @joey_ferrari24 3 года назад +440

    Bart saying “you can drink 100 of these and not get drunk” only for it to turn out to have almost double the Alc% of a typical light bear is soooo alcoholic it’s almost not even funny… but it is.

    • @thabrownieviking
      @thabrownieviking 3 года назад +44

      The unintentional typo of light bear makes this so much funnier lol

    • @Doorito_
      @Doorito_ 3 года назад +7

      I'm convinced he's got the same thing as ozzy osbourne

    • @vloppysagina
      @vloppysagina 3 года назад +15

      @@Doorito_ addictive personality and the presentation of being the life of the party?

    • @TheNinjaBlade77
      @TheNinjaBlade77 3 года назад +44

      Anybody else feel like they're stuck in Groundhog Day listening to Bart week after week?

    • @DrDime_
      @DrDime_ 3 года назад +18

      He's fucking insane in my opinion, I give the dude 5 years of life left max.

  • @eahernandez8856
    @eahernandez8856 3 года назад +41

    When tom stares into the camera after Brent says some ridiculous things absolutely kills me 🤣

    • @antinsanwo
      @antinsanwo 3 года назад

      It’ always gets me too 😂 Tony and the audience are all in on the jokes and barf is completely ignorant lmao

  • @alexgregory6682
    @alexgregory6682 3 года назад +19

    "Keep goin, keep goin" as he repeatedly interrupts and talks over Tom, telling him to keep going. 😂😂😂

  • @milehighguy23
    @milehighguy23 3 года назад +20

    You can tell Tom has young kids for the amount of patience he affords Bert

  • @codydillard8918
    @codydillard8918 3 года назад +12

    The chair giving up was easily my favorite part.

  • @ShredHouseGaming
    @ShredHouseGaming 3 года назад +60

    Bert’s life flashed before his eyes when the chair went down

    • @marycallahan7795
      @marycallahan7795 3 года назад

      😂😂😳

    • @gangsterspairofdice1037
      @gangsterspairofdice1037 3 года назад

      Don't worry the ghost of liver disease future isn't going to let anything come between it and Bert's soul.

  • @jpenhall
    @jpenhall 3 года назад +49

    Tom's look at the camera while Bert is describing how Aaron Rogers smelled had me dying.

  • @guyledouche6039
    @guyledouche6039 3 года назад +3

    Just skip to ---> 3:40
    Skip ad read---> 21:14
    Skip 3rd ad read--> 40:18
    Skip last ad read--> 58:43

  • @joelpiroecansniffagoal
    @joelpiroecansniffagoal 3 года назад +15

    I love the way Bert constantly cuts Tom off every time he attempts to speak, it's really entertaining, and the his overwhelming insecurity and envy of Tom's career is an amazing bit. He's so funny.

  • @chobblegobbler2536
    @chobblegobbler2536 3 года назад +233

    “Her physical flaws make me feel safe inside her”

    • @SirrTokesalot
      @SirrTokesalot 3 года назад +23

      10/10 burnt crystler

    • @jrbanks6380
      @jrbanks6380 3 года назад

      We the same 😂

    • @ryananderson586
      @ryananderson586 3 года назад +9

      Bert is so wholesome and fucking gross.

    • @DrDime_
      @DrDime_ 3 года назад +4

      The most gay thing ive ever heard come out of a man's mouth.

    • @bethdavisjimenez
      @bethdavisjimenez 3 года назад

      The Chicago Reserve even has a bar with Starbucks drinks.

  • @zmitchell15
    @zmitchell15 3 года назад +60

    Can’t believe he still called it “Precious Gems.” 😂

    • @Filiolus
      @Filiolus 3 года назад +3

      Wet brain.

    • @JSorb
      @JSorb 3 года назад +1

      It’s on purpose as it was the first time

    • @billybob5898
      @billybob5898 3 года назад +2

      @@JSorb sure it was

  • @soluna6513
    @soluna6513 3 года назад +27

    At 15:11 when he says the word "weight " . his heart & chair drop a level . almost got me fired at how hard i laughed during monday morning meeting hahaha

  • @ogstackadolla
    @ogstackadolla 3 года назад +7

    Love Tito's. Never heard of it before this podcast, but when the pandemic hit, they donated 2 pallets of sanitizer to the company I work for. We still have 1/2 a pallet left. Thank you Tito's

  • @ExistentialBordem
    @ExistentialBordem 3 года назад +13

    I love how Tom is basically grooming Bert into becoming a full blown Cool Guy.

    • @Shuffffff
      @Shuffffff 3 года назад

      Bert is already breaching cool guy territory

    • @larsbee
      @larsbee 2 года назад

      I love how the car nerd explains to bert how to pronounce Maybach and gets it wrong as well .... these two really have found each other... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

  • @joemcevoy2553
    @joemcevoy2553 3 года назад +31

    Garth is seriously catching on! He liked my bodies post!

  • @williamphelps8550
    @williamphelps8550 3 года назад +40

    I’m uh-hundred percent sure that Bart got the word ‘rudderless’ on his word of the day toilet paper.

  • @Raaandy
    @Raaandy 3 года назад +75

    Bert just learned the term "rudderless", apparently. Said it about 20 times in 5 minutes. lol

    • @FaterialL
      @FaterialL 3 года назад +9

      him and his 400 lunges in 20 minutes

    • @Greeezy
      @Greeezy 3 года назад +6

      That's what happens when you're the size of an actual boat.

    • @Christopher-md7tf
      @Christopher-md7tf 3 года назад +2

      "Apparently, I'm apparently rudderless"

  • @DownriverRat
    @DownriverRat 3 года назад +3

    This episode HAS to be a record for how little Tom has spoke. Brett was nuts this ep!

  • @garcimq
    @garcimq 3 года назад

    So fun to hear about places Tom visits and hearing Bert react to him it’s like a great travel show!

  • @lukewojdylo9241
    @lukewojdylo9241 3 года назад +40

    I thought this WAS the 2nd season of Love on the Spectrum.

    • @andrestein6022
      @andrestein6022 3 года назад +4

      Hahahahaha AYE AYE AYE

    • @Wnick56
      @Wnick56 3 года назад +1

      @@andrestein6022 just lemme eatcha

  • @HomeGrowin
    @HomeGrowin 3 года назад +11

    Literally just got caught up and finished ep 104. It's a good morning. Appreciate it fellas. Love the pod

  • @tryitout-701
    @tryitout-701 3 года назад +132

    Bert, you’d still be hilarious as a sober guy. It’s not the alcohol, it’s you.

    • @brianbarrett2487
      @brianbarrett2487 3 года назад +6

      Are we sure of that. Seems like the dude has been trashed since his first TV show.......

    • @filthyfrank.5
      @filthyfrank.5 3 года назад +5

      @@brianbarrett2487 naw. U also like ur own comment lmao

    • @BusterBaxter
      @BusterBaxter 3 года назад +7

      @@brianbarrett2487 I think you should be supportive, because someone getting clean isn't a joke. Bert needs help man. You're just like him, and the same reason he won't get clean, just a fear that " oh well if I'm not drinking no one will give a shit about my jokes" like no dawg, if you're a good comedian, your jokes won't suffer from sobriety. He makes jokes on podcasts, stone sober, all the times and they are some of his best.

    • @lenderzconstable
      @lenderzconstable 3 года назад +2

      He is so unfunny. How does anybody think he’s funny? They probably love that stupid hyena sound he always makes too….

    • @Vann_Scale_Modeling
      @Vann_Scale_Modeling 3 года назад +3

      @@BusterBaxter he straight up just needs to admit defeat, get broken down to nothing, and completely restart. Like, take him away from Tom, Leanne, the girls, his phone, literally everything. Make him dry up for a week, then spend 3 weeks finding medicine (he needs something, let's be honest), having him eat well, start reading, doing yoga and exercising. The dude would be unrecognizable in the absolute best way.

  • @RichRetr0
    @RichRetr0 3 года назад +17

    Every couple of weeks according to Bertram:
    This week: "I'm working out pretty good, feeling good, feeling healthy"
    Next week: "I'm at the heaviest of ever been!"

  • @Drewx2k6
    @Drewx2k6 3 года назад +8

    This episode might hold the record for the amount of times Tom does a "Jim" into his camera in response to something wild Bert just said hahahah

  • @unaccompaniedflyer7012
    @unaccompaniedflyer7012 3 года назад +155

    Bert talking about how he gave a Ted Talk on the Middle East.
    Tom: “Is this your new hour?”
    😂😂😂😂😂

  • @petejones5227
    @petejones5227 3 года назад +47

    Bert talking about weight loss and then almost breaking the chair 😂

    • @antinsanwo
      @antinsanwo 3 года назад

      That was just so perfect I lost it 😂 sums barf up perfectly

  • @alfaro999
    @alfaro999 3 года назад +82

    I know Tim loves Bart, but Jesus even he was tired after this one..

    • @goerdn
      @goerdn 3 года назад +6

      So was I

    • @sentientcardboarddumpster7900
      @sentientcardboarddumpster7900 3 года назад +20

      Is anyone watching these for any other reason than to watch Bert's downfall at this point?

  • @dylanturley7291
    @dylanturley7291 3 года назад +7

    I love hearing Tom talk about cars, wish he did more with it.

    • @Vann_Scale_Modeling
      @Vann_Scale_Modeling 3 года назад

      I've always thought he might be a closeted car guy.

    • @larsbee
      @larsbee 2 года назад

      I love how the car nerd explains to bert how to pronounce Maybach and gets it wrong as well .... these two really have found each other... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

  • @markretajczyk6010
    @markretajczyk6010 3 года назад

    this is why I love Tom Talks

  • @children0fthegrave
    @children0fthegrave 3 года назад +91

    Props to Enny for not shattering Bert's dreams by telling him that just about every micro brewery in the world makes a coffee stout 🤣 not an original thought, Bart

    • @HisHowliness
      @HisHowliness 3 года назад +2

      Narragansett makes a coffee stout. It's not just micros. Shit is ubiquitous.

    • @children0fthegrave
      @children0fthegrave 3 года назад

      @@HisHowliness fair enough, craft brewery would be a better description

    • @progrockmorelikefrogc0ck157
      @progrockmorelikefrogc0ck157 3 года назад +17

      Its like when he thought he invented soup last episode

    • @AlreadyAway
      @AlreadyAway 3 года назад +4

      We make coffee stouts by making cold brew and adding it to a stout.

    • @colind1637
      @colind1637 3 года назад +1

      Yeah and specifically what he did Guinness already has a name, a Dublin iced coffee.

  • @whothatguy3358
    @whothatguy3358 3 года назад +72

    When Bert decided to try Guinness with his coffee, IMMEDIATELY I thought, “He’s gonna say he loves it, he always loves his own creations”, and sure enough he loves it and Tom says the same thing 🤣🤣

    • @jonathan2416
      @jonathan2416 3 года назад +2

      Irish car bombs have been around for a while

    • @TimTrOn3000
      @TimTrOn3000 3 года назад +1

      First off, Irish car bomb doesn't involve coffee.
      2nd, a splash of coffee in a guineas is dope as fuck. Very deleicious

    • @andrewtruex
      @andrewtruex 3 года назад +1

      How has this dude Bert never heard of coffee and Guinness. Idiot

    • @JohnSmith-tk9ls
      @JohnSmith-tk9ls 3 года назад

      lol also guinness makes a nitro brew coffee version of their drink

  • @tommymarsh9257
    @tommymarsh9257 3 года назад +31

    Bert: I am scared of Corona Virus
    Also Bert: Everyone drink from this cup i stirred with my finger!

    • @EthanRoss22
      @EthanRoss22 3 года назад +4

      Knowing full well that he doesn't wash his hands after he shits. No chance I'd go anywhere near anything he'd even touched.

    • @waightforrest1737
      @waightforrest1737 3 года назад +1

      *has admitted to wiping ass with hand

  • @BrandonLongwell
    @BrandonLongwell 3 года назад +16

    I know Bert's drinking is a long running joke, but this podcast made me feel "YIKES" the whole way through.

  • @cashismack1885
    @cashismack1885 3 года назад +2

    Personally, I've been going through alot lately, but while watching Brad break that seat was the hardest I have laughed so far all year.
    You two are priceless together 😊

    • @patrickburton1401
      @patrickburton1401 2 года назад

      Hope you’ve been good homie. Life is rough but it’s nice to have a little laugh.

  • @jonnyc8675
    @jonnyc8675 3 года назад +24

    Bert actually thinking he is the first human to add coffee to beer. Lol.

  • @uwotm
    @uwotm 3 года назад +23

    As an alcoholic i can one humdread percent guarantee his panic attacks are from drinking and lack of rest. Get them the same way especially when i dont sleep

    • @ashlylemage8166
      @ashlylemage8166 3 года назад +3

      You never enter deep sleep.

    • @rflanaganagan8489
      @rflanaganagan8489 3 года назад

      Then your brain starts to try get sleep during waking hours - delerium tremors
      The same can happen with the devil's lettuce 🥬

    • @jordanphillips7344
      @jordanphillips7344 3 года назад

      The more I watch this the less I drink

  • @MrTakedownkd
    @MrTakedownkd 3 года назад +53

    You gotta respect the fact Bart tries to let tim talk but then after 4 seconds gets bored and interrupts him
    He tries

  • @Jattmafia313
    @Jattmafia313 3 года назад +56

    It’s sad to see Bert talk about his anxiety but then also put alcohol in his coffee and not see the causes and effects in his life…

  • @jldrum89
    @jldrum89 3 года назад +7

    The chair literally taking Bret down a notch 👌🏼

  • @SlimTimmi
    @SlimTimmi 3 года назад +75

    So Tom has been doing multiple shows with Chappelle, Rogan, Jeff Ross which sounds interesting but I must to be r-worded to think that id hear anything other than Bert talking about his alcoholism and any stupid idea that comes into his head. #2manybears

    • @brandonmcclellan963
      @brandonmcclellan963 3 года назад +19

      My favorite episode of this show is the Mark Normand episode when Bert was out

    • @Filiolus
      @Filiolus 3 года назад +24

      This comes from a definite place of love: 2B1C has SERIOUSLY declined and it sucks to see, because i love both of them/the show.
      Seeing Bert go downhill and Tom basically just patiently deal with it - while not having a chance to put in his own words or topics week after week is so old now.
      Seeing a lot of comments with the same sentiments at this point :/

    • @andrewtruex
      @andrewtruex 3 года назад +11

      @@Filiolus agreed. They should have a meeting or something to regroup and rethink what has been happening with the podcast. A lot of people come to watch the pod because they are fans of Tom and have to suffer through Bert only talking about himself and saying dumb stuff the whole time

    • @eldensalo8512
      @eldensalo8512 3 года назад +4

      THIS DUDE. Summing it up perfectly. Shits getting to the point of no return

    • @antinsanwo
      @antinsanwo 3 года назад +6

      I also feel like barfs drinking has become way more problematic in the past year and especially 6 months, that it’s not only effecting him but now also the podcast, dude basically rocked up to work drunk for this podcast, was they filmed around 1pm on a weekday...he’s already hard to stomach with his narcissism always talking about himself, especially trying to say alcohol isn’t causing his panic issues and how he’s fine because he does running etc. I feel like at this point literally no one that listens to the podcast gives a single crap about barfs work out routines the dudes unhealthy AF. I feel like Tim will be having to talk to him about it after this episode, because now it’s not just effecting Bret, but also the podcast and Teds schedule because they are meant to be recording multiple episodes. Tod is also very business minded and organised and I think there’s no way it doesn’t bother him. Theres no way burnt could record another after this, let alone tony having enough patience to sit through more of this. I’m sure trim knows this episode was a dud because of bent crystals state and rambling stories no one cares about and I don’t doubt him and the crew are aware of the high number of comments about all of this stuff for months.

  • @anthonyzullo
    @anthonyzullo 3 года назад +9

    "why are you always tired but you dont do anything?"
    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!"
    Lmao!

  • @mcant17
    @mcant17 3 года назад +82

    Brett is the only dude who can say “I am 100% sure I’m right about this” and five seconds later he’s like “maybe I’m wrong”

  • @BeefyPrime
    @BeefyPrime 3 года назад +1

    My favorite thing is the production crew laughing so loud.. I love it. Lol

  • @sportyj123
    @sportyj123 3 года назад +2

    the collective groan when bert stirs the drink with his finger was hilarious

  • @phillychillz1337
    @phillychillz1337 3 года назад +31

    I love it when Burt gets jealous of Tom's fun tour events. He's like a toddler finding out his best friend went to Disney and he didn't get invited 😆

    • @zb2584
      @zb2584 3 года назад +3

      Oh if you follow both of them on IG anytime Barf post anything Tom likes it! Any time Tom post something that maybe gets Barf jealous he won't like it or he will leave a shit ass comment! He is so jealous that Tom is doing shows with Chapelle, Ross, Rogan etc...Fact is Barf is a hack! His success ways on those that drink too much & love to hear the jackass speak nonsense on a platform they could never obtain! It's unbearable at times how much of a twat he is!

    • @cynister801
      @cynister801 3 года назад

      @@zb2584 wow that's crazy. stop watching 2 bears then, hater. also its *weighs by the way

  • @ole_limberlegs
    @ole_limberlegs 3 года назад +10

    Burnt yelling at the booth boys as if they aren't wearing headphones, everytime

  • @staynielherbayn657
    @staynielherbayn657 3 года назад +25

    Bert thinking he invented coffee stout made me laugh more than it should have

    • @christopher152
      @christopher152 3 года назад

      You can invent something without being the first one to do it…dummie.

    • @staynielherbayn657
      @staynielherbayn657 3 года назад

      @@christopher152 that’s not how it works... “dummie”(It’s spelt “dummy” by the way) So I can put cheese and steak in bread and say I am the inventor of a cheese steak? Put gin and tonic water together and say I just invented a drink called a g&t?

    • @staynielherbayn657
      @staynielherbayn657 3 года назад

      @@christopher152 can’t say he invented something when I literally just went to my local pub and had a coffee and cinder stout...

    • @well_as_an_expert_id_say
      @well_as_an_expert_id_say 3 года назад

      @@christopher152 That's called discovering then, not inventing. Your noggin needs a tuneup bro

    • @christopher152
      @christopher152 3 года назад

      @@staynielherbayn657 No, you can’t invent Gin and Tonic if you already know of it. I don’t know what a cheese steak is, but it’s the same concept. The act of inventing something is to to create something unknown through a process of imagination.

  • @Mia.Aimworks
    @Mia.Aimworks 3 года назад

    I love they say i love you at the end. So wholesome

  • @coldwolfcola
    @coldwolfcola 3 года назад +1

    Jesus Bert, what a performance.

  • @ericlorance2089
    @ericlorance2089 3 года назад +78

    Barts new special:
    “Diarrhea of the mouth and
    Constipation of the brain”
    Your welcome

  • @josef2012
    @josef2012 3 года назад +33

    Holding out hope that Bart keeps this legendary "B-Man" character/persona as a permanent mouthbreathing feature.

    • @dpl5804
      @dpl5804 3 года назад

      That's Brendon Walsh's nickname

  • @andrewpowers3719
    @andrewpowers3719 3 года назад +57

    I challenge Burt to give his co-host over 50% of the airtime, during just one of his podcasts.

  • @richardlandino1992
    @richardlandino1992 3 года назад +1

    I absolutely love how drunk Bert gets soooo excited about his story telling

  • @MayhamRC
    @MayhamRC 3 года назад

    Finally an episode you can drink along with!! Doesn’t happen enough anymore.

  • @cadam4272
    @cadam4272 3 года назад +11

    Tom: *telling a story*
    Bert: *interrupting* GRAB ME A GUINNESS

  • @petejones5227
    @petejones5227 3 года назад +12

    When Bert said who comes to this show just to see Tom?……Me exactly Me

  • @brendencrowe8407
    @brendencrowe8407 3 года назад +36

    Bert seems to have a primal fear of using the word “with”, like when he says stuff like, “and then i get done my walk….”

  • @dawson1373
    @dawson1373 3 года назад +115

    It’s so funny seeing when Bert realizes that Tom is more famous and gets more “access”

  • @Bonifaquisha
    @Bonifaquisha 3 года назад +11

    Bert: "This is gonna sound very creepy, and I am drunk. . ."
    His best friend: "Please continue while we broadcast your assuredly irresponsible statement to a few hundred thousand people."

    • @ExistentialBordem
      @ExistentialBordem 3 года назад

      His best friend is the Cool Guy Vlun curator! I'd expect nothing less! He's grooming Bert to be a cool guy.

  • @kylemitchell5007
    @kylemitchell5007 3 года назад +38

    I genuinely feel bad for Bart, the mental gymnastics he does to convince himself he's not an alcoholic is impressive.

    • @Christopher-md7tf
      @Christopher-md7tf 3 года назад +4

      You'd think all those gymnastics would at least burn some calories

    • @Filiolus
      @Filiolus 3 года назад +2

      @@Christopher-md7tf Just brain cells.

    • @JR-rz1br
      @JR-rz1br 3 года назад +3

      I knew he was in trouble when he doubled down on the fact that he refuses to ever fully stop drinking. It's not an option to consider ever, at any age. He will never fully quit.

  • @jandro_916
    @jandro_916 3 года назад +29

    Bert: High-fiving complete low life strangers in Austin as he heads to the Kill Tony stage.
    Bert the next day: I’m still weirded out about covid ya know.

    • @Nickscrazylips
      @Nickscrazylips 3 года назад +1

      He licked his fingers afterwards too.

  • @robk9871
    @robk9871 3 года назад +65

    Tom: “I went out every night in Tour”
    Burnt: “Put a pin on that…let me tell you about my lame workouts”

    • @MrJTeleVision
      @MrJTeleVision 3 года назад +1

      Veeeeeery possible

    • @andrewtruex
      @andrewtruex 3 года назад +3

      Single handedly ruining this podcast

  • @AnComJohnny
    @AnComJohnny 3 года назад +1

    I am PRAYING they ended up recording a second episode, next week is gonna be insane if so

  • @TheComedyGuitarGuy
    @TheComedyGuitarGuy 8 месяцев назад

    "Its not milk... its a plane!"
    The most I've laughed all week

  • @oleossantiago2369
    @oleossantiago2369 3 года назад +70

    This podcast is almost getting hard to watch and listen too. It’s just Bart trying to convince himself he doesn’t have a drinking problem.

    • @breadlytoasted
      @breadlytoasted 3 года назад +3

      That was the theme before 2b1c, his group of friends literally made a whole month long sobriety event twice just to get him to stop drinking for a second

    • @charlottem.1477
      @charlottem.1477 3 года назад +2

      Bert is Van Wilder. So, what part isn’t making sense for you!?
      Just stop, or are you addicted?! Lmao

    • @OUTLAWinTX
      @OUTLAWinTX 3 года назад +1

      Or actually allowing Tom to talk for more than 1 sentence before a 5 minute run on about himself. Bert NON STOP talks about Bert

  • @mry9440
    @mry9440 3 года назад +12

    Bert’s energy making me feel like I need a 30 day alcohol detox… I don’t even drink.

  • @Mr59Kenzo
    @Mr59Kenzo 3 года назад +41

    bert, while drunk, explaning muslim extremists, lol that's why we love Bert.

    • @thismothafuckasaid7304
      @thismothafuckasaid7304 3 года назад +2

      Yep..and of course he blamed Whites for causing it, just to cover his ass in Hollywood. He does same on every episode of Bertcast, over past year

    • @Bruinsman-rh2dc
      @Bruinsman-rh2dc 3 года назад

      @@thismothafuckasaid7304 someone’s upset huh

    • @thismothafuckasaid7304
      @thismothafuckasaid7304 3 года назад +1

      @@Bruinsman-rh2dc Ya, I'm sure they are.. bc it makes me cringe and I'm not even White

  • @Blastycat
    @Blastycat 3 года назад +2

    The hooters plane part got me lol. Bert “hey you know the B-man! Let’s bang out a couple commercials, get your fried shrimp, grouper sandwich and then ok ladies let’s go… to Tampa…. Or wherever.” I love how excited he was during that whole pitch but ends up in Tampa 😂

  • @bradbarton817
    @bradbarton817 3 года назад

    Listening to Brent catalog his workout routine is the definition of riveting.

  • @GoPodcastGo
    @GoPodcastGo 3 года назад +7

    Bruce just learned about the term “rudderless”

  • @Henncat69
    @Henncat69 3 года назад +10

    Bert: Woke up...PANIC ATTACKS
    Tom: I think that might be from the drinking.
    Bert: No, no, no, no.
    I love Bert, but what's the over/under on first AA visit?

    • @Vann_Scale_Modeling
      @Vann_Scale_Modeling 3 года назад

      Problem drinker, here. He'll never make it to a single one. He'll die before he ever makes it to a single dimly lit church basement and gets to enjoy the cold coffee.

  • @jamesmcalister3680
    @jamesmcalister3680 3 года назад +8

    Tom was great on Burt's podsast.

  • @portal432
    @portal432 3 года назад +1

    Bert is on another level on this one. Man he’s spiraling so hard for the first 20 min

  • @frecklefart909
    @frecklefart909 3 года назад +2

    "Do you think the people listening can tell I'm drunk?"... Yes Bert, yes we can 😂😂