Thank you so much for sharing! I am also in recovery in a larger body and have been trying to find stories & advice on this situation. My problem has been restriction for over 25 years. About a year ago I finally sought treatment & the nutritionist just kept asking if my bingeing was getting better, even though I kept telling her I was there to recover from restricting. I dropped out, restricted severely again for awhile, gained more weight & have finally started true recovery on my own. Keep sharing your story - you are worthy and you're not alone!
“It feels like you failed your eating disorder.” THIS said it perfectly. “I didn’t feel worthy of that help.” I just spent this entire video saying YES EXACTLY.
I'm sorry this is your experience too but I hope you are overcoming it. Recovery is hard. It's especially hard in a body that doesn't "look" like it has an eating disorder.
Hey Nia, declaring.dani on insta here. Just wanted to tell you how amazing and inspiring your authenticity is. Personally, I’m not a person in a truly fat body. I’m def on the bigger end of “healthy” if not healthy at all. I’ve been terrified to even ask the question of where my weight falls in that range. Even in my body, I always feel like my recovery is different than those in “thin” or “normal” bodies. I always feel like the grace I believe those in recovery deserve to give themselves doesn’t apply to me. I also feel like my ED “failed” and is “lesser” and “not a big deal” because I didn’t enter treatment in a thin or average body. It always has felt like I never tried enough in my ED either. I actually developed an ed while going through trauma at around age 8 as straight bingeing. A lot happened, including being a client of a dietician who taught me “how to lose weight” and it spiraled into me entering treatment and being diagnosed with anorexia. As time went on, I began to gain a lot of weight. Over the next 6 years, my behaviors morphed into grazing, bingeing, purging, over exercise, restriction, calorie counting, obsession, etc. I entered treatment again. And almost a year later, I’ve finally started talking about my non restrictive ed behaviors. I also maintained and gained through periods of pure restriction. I’ve finally started talking about it. There’s such a misrepresentation of Ed’s on insta in terms of body sizes and behaviors. Most people with restrictive ed’s are not small or even average. And most people with eds have histories of not just restriction!! Anyways, idk where my ramble was going here bc I know you know all this😂but I wanted to tell you I am SO HERE for you, your journey, and your message!! You say all the things that need to be freaking said. I would really be honored and enjoy talking to you some over dm or something!! My recovery insta is declaring.dani and I’d love to chat about all this sometime. I never really felt like anyone understood like you seemed to. Congrats on being so real and authentic!!
My daughter is in your shoes. Its my fault. I fat shamed her all her life instead of telling her she was beautiful. I feel a lot of remourse over this. Especially since I did it because of MY disordered eating since 14 years of age, over 40 years ago. Yes, you can be as old as I am and have an eating disorder. Fat shaming and thin is beautiful dogma has been around all of the 20th century. We are all affected by it to various degrees. Wanting to fit in and look attractive is very human. Anyway, I am watching your channel to gain insight and to learn how to help my daughter on her journey to loving herself and her body at any size. My first step has been accepting my own struggle and stepping off the diet trap once and for all. I am on the road to recovery which includes loving my body whatever size it is at. Thank you for your channel, your big heart in sharing yourself with the world in the hope of helping others and know that I am cheering for you xx
I am also a fat recovering bulimic, its awful for me, and I thought I was alone because I thought I was the only woman of color and I am older than many that I have read about, its because I had bulimia for so long.
I became very overweight while restricting and exercising all the time. Dieting worked for me in the beginning but after a while it disnt work anymore and I became crazy with obsession with trying to lose 20 pounds and the harder I pushed myself with my diet and exercise,the more I gained. I haven't found anyone else on RUclips who started healing from restriction in a heavier body.How are tou today?
I found your channel because of PlannerCon and have stuck around because you seem like a brave, genuine person who has a story people should hear. I haven't had an eating disorder, so I can't say I know what you're going through. I am, however, horrified that people would say those things to you. No one, especially not strangers on the Internet, can tell you how or what you feel or experience. I hope you keep making videos and telling your story as long as you want to
You are a worthy and valuable person. People with eating disorders come in all body sizes. Some people are ignorant about this. I know I was until I got caught up in anorexias grip. I can relate to everything you said. Recovery is hard, but so worth it. I'm cheering you on😊
A million times yes. I was in a binge eating program and sometimes things didn’t fit. I don’t eat certain food groups, I suffer from purging. It was hard when I have symptoms that I don’t see matching my physical body.
Your symptoms are always valid. Even if you feel like the outside doesn't match what's going on in your brain. Suffering from an eating disorder is a mental disease
Thank you so much for sharing! I am also in recovery in a larger body and have been trying to find stories & advice on this situation. My problem has been restriction for over 25 years. About a year ago I finally sought treatment & the nutritionist just kept asking if my bingeing was getting better, even though I kept telling her I was there to recover from restricting. I dropped out, restricted severely again for awhile, gained more weight & have finally started true recovery on my own. Keep sharing your story - you are worthy and you're not alone!
“It feels like you failed your eating disorder.” THIS said it perfectly. “I didn’t feel worthy of that help.” I just spent this entire video saying YES EXACTLY.
I'm sorry this is your experience too but I hope you are overcoming it. Recovery is hard. It's especially hard in a body that doesn't "look" like it has an eating disorder.
Hey Nia, declaring.dani on insta here. Just wanted to tell you how amazing and inspiring your authenticity is. Personally, I’m not a person in a truly fat body. I’m def on the bigger end of “healthy” if not healthy at all. I’ve been terrified to even ask the question of where my weight falls in that range. Even in my body, I always feel like my recovery is different than those in “thin” or “normal” bodies. I always feel like the grace I believe those in recovery deserve to give themselves doesn’t apply to me. I also feel like my ED “failed” and is “lesser” and “not a big deal” because I didn’t enter treatment in a thin or average body. It always has felt like I never tried enough in my ED either. I actually developed an ed while going through trauma at around age 8 as straight bingeing. A lot happened, including being a client of a dietician who taught me “how to lose weight” and it spiraled into me entering treatment and being diagnosed with anorexia. As time went on, I began to gain a lot of weight. Over the next 6 years, my behaviors morphed into grazing, bingeing, purging, over exercise, restriction, calorie counting, obsession, etc. I entered treatment again. And almost a year later, I’ve finally started talking about my non restrictive ed behaviors. I also maintained and gained through periods of pure restriction. I’ve finally started talking about it. There’s such a misrepresentation of Ed’s on insta in terms of body sizes and behaviors. Most people with restrictive ed’s are not small or even average. And most people with eds have histories of not just restriction!! Anyways, idk where my ramble was going here bc I know you know all this😂but I wanted to tell you I am SO HERE for you, your journey, and your message!! You say all the things that need to be freaking said. I would really be honored and enjoy talking to you some over dm or something!! My recovery insta is declaring.dani and I’d love to chat about all this sometime. I never really felt like anyone understood like you seemed to. Congrats on being so real and authentic!!
My daughter is in your shoes. Its my fault. I fat shamed her all her life instead of telling her she was beautiful. I feel a lot of remourse over this. Especially since I did it because of MY disordered eating since 14 years of age, over 40 years ago. Yes, you can be as old as I am and have an eating disorder. Fat shaming and thin is beautiful dogma has been around all of the 20th century. We are all affected by it to various degrees. Wanting to fit in and look attractive is very human. Anyway, I am watching your channel to gain insight and to learn how to help my daughter on her journey to loving herself and her body at any size. My first step has been accepting my own struggle and stepping off the diet trap once and for all. I am on the road to recovery which includes loving my body whatever size it is at. Thank you for your channel, your big heart in sharing yourself with the world in the hope of helping others and know that I am cheering for you xx
I am also a fat recovering bulimic, its awful for me, and I thought I was alone because I thought I was the only woman of color and I am older than many that I have read about, its because I had bulimia for so long.
I became very overweight while restricting and exercising all the time. Dieting worked for me in the beginning but after a while it disnt work anymore and I became crazy with obsession with trying to lose 20 pounds and the harder I pushed myself with my diet and exercise,the more I gained. I haven't found anyone else on RUclips who started healing from restriction in a heavier body.How are tou today?
I found your channel because of PlannerCon and have stuck around because you seem like a brave, genuine person who has a story people should hear. I haven't had an eating disorder, so I can't say I know what you're going through. I am, however, horrified that people would say those things to you. No one, especially not strangers on the Internet, can tell you how or what you feel or experience. I hope you keep making videos and telling your story as long as you want to
That means so much to me. I'm so glad you stuck around.
You are a worthy and valuable person. People with eating disorders come in all body sizes. Some people are ignorant about this. I know I was until I got caught up in anorexias grip. I can relate to everything you said. Recovery is hard, but so worth it. I'm cheering you on😊
Thank you so much for sharing!! I'm in the same situation and I can't thank you enough for making me feel less alone!
A million times yes. I was in a binge eating program and sometimes things didn’t fit. I don’t eat certain food groups, I suffer from purging. It was hard when I have symptoms that I don’t see matching my physical body.
Your symptoms are always valid. Even if you feel like the outside doesn't match what's going on in your brain. Suffering from an eating disorder is a mental disease
Thank you so much for your channel !
You. Are. Awesome. Period.