How Men RUIN Their Lives in Their 20s (From A Woman’s Perspective)
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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these videos are only for ad purposes, only making money, time to desub and dislike this sh*t
Having good mentors is so important for young men. Literally can be the difference of having either a good life or bad one.
Couldn’t agree more!
Problem is in our current feminized social order men mostly treat other men like how women treat other women (cattiness, backstabbing, treating the competition like a zero-sum game, etc) That's basically how modern corporate culture and business operate. In traditional masculine spaces like the battlefield, a construction site, etc. men would actively support each other to develop productive hierarchies.
Listening to my Mother. God bless her soul. She had terrible insight and absolutely not a leader. Dad was also no inspiration, a womanizer. It did impact my life. Made a difference in how I viewed myself. Low self esteem. However I did well considering the uphill climb.
I commented above about being a leader when I was in college. I encourage, nay implore, any man in college who is disciplined, devoted, clean (drugs and alcohol), and directed to reach out to your fellow men and LEAD them by example. Just BE who you know they can be. They will not follow you immediately, but you WILL have great impact on their lives. Again, "be the change you want to [achieve] see in the world."
@@mikesteelheart Damn dude, even when talking about how men treat other men you got to blame women for it.
I wasted my time 20s on two relationships that I shouldn't have gotten into the first place. Although I consider myself lucky to have have those relationships.
Now at 33, I'm just starting to try to get my life in order. Education, get out of debt, start a family.
Three years younger, I’m on that same path of education and starting a family. I wish you good luck. 🤙
Let me bow to your auto-critic, sir...
It takes a lot of wisdom to apply this spin to this kind of experience
I'm sorry about that dude but at least you're alive to learn that lesson. She's exactly right about these things. I understand that physical conditioning and fitness is crucial for healthy living and relationships but so is having reliable family, friends knowledge and awareness of reality. Congratulations on the 700k subscribers 👏🎉.
Men are expected to lead in the relationship with her, take care of themselves physically/emotionally and psychologically as well as be self sufficient because Women like Men who are better than them in certain aspects but are Women deserving of Men? Roma Downey is another RUclips channel with content kinda like this. I really respect Courtney Ryan for at least trying to help Men and Women out in promoting healthy relationships, positive mindsets and growth in individuals AMEN 🙏 ❤️. I'm a 24 year old single Christian virgin guy working as a teacher and counselor seeing unhealthy relationships in people occasionally despite being single myself because no sex before marriage. I've been watching Courtney's videos since 2021 so this lady's channel is really helpful especially on RUclips and social media. This has nothing to do with the video but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I'm a Christian and Apologist but I'm also a college graduate. I'm not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God's Existence due to many real factors). I'm not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that's The Holy Spirit's job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There's actually evidence of God's Existence in Christianity. First of all there's proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He's The Divine Son of God because obviously they don't.
I'm going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God's Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. spoken of by Christ in Matthew 23:29-24:3 and returning to their homeland after The Holocaust with Jerusalem as their capital in 1948 exactly as Jesus The Christ said. The prophets including Daniel spoke of the time where several world empires would arise and fall including the Babylonian kingdom, Medes and Persians, Roman Empire, and Saladin and the Muslims which went in consecutive order for the past few millennia. The people of Israel becoming a nation after The Holocaust in 1948 (ironically the melting point of gold as God compares Israel to gold that's tested in fire in Zechariah 13:8 and Jeremiah 16:15) exactly how Jesus The Christ said would happen since God us everything to come in The Scriptures and not just because people were working towards as Atheists claim which are impossible for any regular man to predict.
Just before anyone says Christianity is a white man's religion made to oppress blacks during slavery you obviously aren't aware that the first Christians were Jews in The Middle East and that Christianity just like any religion can be used by evil and corrupt people to oppress others but you forget that the first Abolitionists/Civil Rights activists were Christians who sought to abolish slavery, racism, segregation, injustice and prejudice throughout American history. Jesus The Christ loves you enough not to give you what we all deserve which is God's Wrath by His Own Blood. Charles Darwin didn't originally come up with The Theory of Evolution over 200 years ago as it is mentioned in the writings of Ancient Greeks who believed in Demons that gave knowledge to philosophers.
Evolution makes no sense when nothing has evolved after thousands of years of human history and supposedly the first creature came from primordial sludge several millions of years
ago funny how they won't believe that God an Eternal Almighty Spirit Being created us from the Earth) which came from a supermassive expansion of matter at high temperature that inexplicably created everything in the known universe that supposedly came from nothing billions of years ago. How did the organs evolve before there were bones, skin, substance and how did any creatures see before eyes evolved? I've studied evolution and abiogenesis in the past and read Darwin's " Origin of The Species" and I'm not convinced of macro Evolutionary biology whereas I accept micro Evolution like speciation and adaptation but not macro Evolution because there's no evidence of it nor clear observable examples of it where living creatures evolve into other kinds of species plus the fact that fossils don't show evidence of evolution and genetic entropy rules out evolution. The question begs how did two genders evolve from a common ancestor with a perfectly hospitable and sustainable environment with breathable oxygen and resources to survive on inexplicably? Atheists have the burden of proof to explain how everything came to be and why our existence is possible without the Existence of God from an godless perspective just as Christians have to provide evidence of God's Existence and the validity of His Word.
Evolution requires life to already exist in order to take any effect in living organisms so it doesn't account for the existence of Life and reality. Also evolution is impossible because it goes against The Law of entropy and the second Law of thermodynamics because evolution makes things better whereas nothing continues to get better but decays and turns to absolute destruction in the end. Mark Ridley an Evolutionist said "No evolutionist whether gradualist or punctuationist uses the fossil record as evidence in favor of The Theory of Darwinian Evolution as opposed to special Creation". God's Existence is made perfectly known and observable in the universe as demonstrated in His Handiwork in the intelligently designed manner that Creation was made, human consciences and consciousness historical and archaeological evidence of God's Word being valid history, fulfillment of Bible Prophecies God in His Holiness and Righteousness could give us what we deserve in Hell for our since but He's merciful to give us free will to choose to accept or reject His gift of salvation by grace through faith in His Son Jesus. I don't mean this is any condescending manner but if you'd like to discuss The Scriptures with me or have me listen to your view on anything my instagram account is Savage Christian Kombatant
94% male audience! That is insane and I think a lot of women are missing out
Me too!!
Most (not all) just either don't wanna hear it, or don't care...or a combo of both
@@tommygunn6901they can't handle the facts
The general RUclips audience skews male already. Not sure to what extent, perhaps not as much as 94%.
Men watch youtube channels on this because they like women and want to appeal to them. Women don't watch them because they don't need to and don't care
Dana White has a great quote that resonated with me. "I had incredible role models, my people around me showed me everything that I didn't want to be" Life is a learning experience, sometimes you don't always have tons of choices, but personal growth is always there. Don't become your poor parents, don't become your irresponsible friends, grow away from them because you have to grow yourself. I know many men who became the same as the rest of their childhood friends and family because it was the easiest path.
Wow, this was a bit deep for me 😢
Reminds me of a quote:
"It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent."
-Charlie Munger
I tried to help my parents and stayed home far too long. I didn't achieve anything. In the end I didn't help them, because the didn't want to change. I had no relationships, no money. I had no twenties!
I saved my life with 29 by leaving. Got better, therapy and so on. But ine crisis after another, picking up the pieces, Lockdown, reparenting, learning how to date and live a regular life. I fell for the wrong women at first. Started to mistrust people.
I turned it around. It's getting better. It is getting better. But it is like rebuilding a city after a decade of war, without money or mentor.
Thats really sad working on therapy when your parents dont even care.
@@Bart0vds it's heartbreaking to see.
But they were tracking me down with them and I couldn't do it.
@@D.M.S. Im 29 still stuck but I hope things will improve soon
I can totally relate. Meeting this girl has made me snap out of the vicious cycle of feeling the need to help my parents
Important things: 0:37 First Thing ÷ Surrounded By Wrong People; 2:38 Second Thing ÷ Neglecting Your Health & Well-Being; 5:12 Third Thing ÷ Living Beyond Your Means; 7:02 Fourth Thing ÷ Instant Gratification Overload; 8:41 Fifth Thing ÷ Over Consumption Of Alcohol; and 10:33 to summarize all the told here.
Additional thing would of been these: Sixth Thing ÷ Over Consumption Of Cigarettes (but this can be also used at second thing); Seventh Thing ÷ Too Much Overweight (but this can be also used at second thing); Eight Thing ÷ Watching Too Much Pornography; Ninth Thing ÷ Somethings Taking Things For Granted; Tenth Thing ÷ The Lack Of Will & Motivations To Do Things. But like you said Courtney, it can be applied to men, and women.
When I was listening to you Courtney I remembered one thing that my parents told me long time ago, and it goes like this: "Don't let old age ask you where your youth was." Reading between the lines means that you do your best while you're capable of doing them, and do them right now (not literally, but do them while you're capable of doing them).
Sometimes there are very little people to help us do things that we want, or that we have desire and passion to do them. We are left at the mercy of the situations in most of the times. And that's called life. Also it would be wise that we could of learn things a bit earlier, but we are all generals after battle.
Is there a circle that's comprised of one person?
@@marsjokes What do you mean by that?
I didn't understand you, that's why I ask.
@@Harikejn the first point, that's what I'm referring to.
@@marsjokes Well, probably yes. But I think that it's something as doing things alone. Of course this is another topic that can be discussed about it.
I'd add "don't create any new baby mamas" to this list
My "best friend" in my 20s is no longer a friend of mine for a few reasons, and in the 6 years since we stopped being friends I've been promoted 6 times and tripled my income. Its crazy how just breaking free from those miserable people who prefer to hold others back rather than improve themselves boosts your life in unimaginable ways.
My advice:
Be judicious with your time.
Do not continue to waste time chasing people or relationships that do not also reciprocate & choose you in return.
You’ll save a lot of heartache, dignity and money that way.
Discipline is probably the most important key word in this video. Set yourself goals and keep to your own word. Its incredibly rewarding when you can achieve those goals. This counts for the smallest things like overcoming procrastination
I hate how everyone loves alcohol and look at you weird when you don’t want to go to the club and get drunk
There is a misconceptions about these places and alcohol. I've been going out for almost forty years. Hardy ever you find drunks, 95% of consumers just drink to have fun while socializing RARELY you see someone intoxicated. Now, really young guys another story.
I’m 26 and something’s im doing now that I wish I did when I was younger are
1. Exercising / Stay in shape
2. have a job
3. eat healthy proportions
4. be independent
5. get up / go to sleep at a reasonable time
I agree with those. Getting to bed at a reasonable time and getting up early is a way to be really productive without trying.
Good job, it's not late keep it up!
The thing I agree upon the most is about surrounding yourself with the right people. Don't underestimate the "friends" in your life who are always negative, minimize your achievements etc.. Those people you cut off, I had to learn the hard way during a vacation.
I also had a change of heart regarding some friends during a trip, after I understood that one of them had told a group of women I was talking to about some aspects of my personality that I was actively working towards moving past (mostly that I’m shy and not good with women lol). I keep that friend away at arm’s length now, but I still see her sometimes. It’s not ever going to be the same, and I mourn that, but I live and learn like everyone else.
I’m 29, didn’t start drinking until 25, now i only drink in social situations like live events, i have one when the event starts, making it easier to talk to strangers, but that’s it, water from then on
Don't drink at all,it's poison
I didn't get a mentor until I was in my late 20s, stemming from not knowing who to trust. And yes, surrounding yourself with the wrong people will be detrimental to your future
As someone who is also 28, I have used my 20s to focus on personal and professional growth. Just recently, I graduated with my doctorate, and this is something I have wanted for a long time. There are still a few more personal goals I want to meet in my life, but I know I have put myself in the best position to accomplish them!
Congrats Dr.!
That’s amazing! Congrats ❤️
Indeed. If you're the smartest, most attractive, and highest value person in the room, you're in the wrong room
@@TreAloisio thank you, sir!
@@CourtneyRyan thank you and have a Happy Sunday!
I have spent my entire 20s single, not even a single hookup up or relationship. Not on purpose either. I just hit every branch of the ugly tree and society casts me aside. I have money, was in the military, im good mannered to people and a gentlemen. I just dont know anymore.
Watch more of Courtney's video's and put tactics into use. You will be noticed and it will all happen by accident.
Winning/Losing the genetic lottery is a MAJOR factor in how your life will turn out. Maybe even the biggest one. But no one giving the old 'just be the best version of yourself' advice will ever say that.
Sorry about your bad luck, and if it helps any I know how you feel.
Clean up your act man, you'll be surprised at the difference that a good diet, exercise and good sleep will make, its so simple that it almost sounds stupid but you'll be shocked at how difficult it is for people to remain consistent with this bare minimum, the bare minimum has a compounding effect and what you routinely do is what results in your appearance, financial standing, social standing etc. Until you can accept that nothing changes unless you do then guess what, nothing changes.
Same here dude. She's exactly right about these things. I understand that physical conditioning and fitness is crucial for healthy living and relationships but so is having reliable family, friends knowledge and awareness of reality. Congratulations on the 700k subscribers 👏🎉.
Men are expected to lead in the relationship with her, take care of themselves physically/emotionally and psychologically as well as be self sufficient because Women like Men who are better than them in certain aspects but are Women deserving of Men? Roma Downey is another RUclips channel with content kinda like this. I really respect Courtney Ryan for at least trying to help Men and Women out in promoting healthy relationships, positive mindsets and growth in individuals AMEN 🙏 ❤️. I'm a 24 year old single Christian virgin guy working as a teacher and counselor seeing unhealthy relationships in people occasionally despite being single myself because no sex before marriage. I've been watching Courtney's videos since 2021 so this lady's channel is really helpful especially on RUclips and social media. This has nothing to do with the video but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I'm a Christian and Apologist but I'm also a college graduate. I'm not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God's Existence due to many real factors). I'm not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that's The Holy Spirit's job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There's actually evidence of God's Existence in Christianity. First of all there's proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He's The Divine Son of God because obviously they don't.
I'm going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God's Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. spoken of by Christ in Matthew 23:29-24:3 and returning to their homeland after The Holocaust with Jerusalem as their capital in 1948 exactly as Jesus The Christ said. The prophets including Daniel spoke of the time where several world empires would arise and fall including the Babylonian kingdom, Medes and Persians, Roman Empire, and Saladin and the Muslims which went in consecutive order for the past few millennia. The people of Israel becoming a nation after The Holocaust in 1948 (ironically the melting point of gold as God compares Israel to gold that's tested in fire in Zechariah 13:8 and Jeremiah 16:15) exactly how Jesus The Christ said would happen since God us everything to come in The Scriptures and not just because people were working towards as Atheists claim which are impossible for any regular man to predict.
Just before anyone says Christianity is a white man's religion made to oppress blacks during slavery you obviously aren't aware that the first Christians were Jews in The Middle East and that Christianity just like any religion can be used by evil and corrupt people to oppress others but you forget that the first Abolitionists/Civil Rights activists were Christians who sought to abolish slavery, racism, segregation, injustice and prejudice throughout American history. Jesus The Christ loves you enough not to give you what we all deserve which is God's Wrath by His Own Blood. Charles Darwin didn't originally come up with The Theory of Evolution over 200 years ago as it is mentioned in the writings of Ancient Greeks who believed in Demons that gave knowledge to philosophers.
Evolution makes no sense when nothing has evolved after thousands of years of human history and supposedly the first creature came from primordial sludge several millions of years
ago funny how they won't believe that God an Eternal Almighty Spirit Being created us from the Earth) which came from a supermassive expansion of matter at high temperature that inexplicably created everything in the known universe that supposedly came from nothing billions of years ago. How did the organs evolve before there were bones, skin, substance and how did any creatures see before eyes evolved? I've studied evolution and abiogenesis in the past and read Darwin's " Origin of The Species" and I'm not convinced of macro Evolutionary biology whereas I accept micro Evolution like speciation and adaptation but not macro Evolution because there's no evidence of it nor clear observable examples of it where living creatures evolve into other kinds of species plus the fact that fossils don't show evidence of evolution and genetic entropy rules out evolution. The question begs how did two genders evolve from a common ancestor with a perfectly hospitable and sustainable environment with breathable oxygen and resources to survive on inexplicably? Atheists have the burden of proof to explain how everything came to be and why our existence is possible without the Existence of God from an godless perspective just as Christians have to provide evidence of God's Existence and the validity of His Word.
Evolution requires life to already exist in order to take any effect in living organisms so it doesn't account for the existence of Life and reality. Also evolution is impossible because it goes against The Law of entropy and the second Law of thermodynamics because evolution makes things better whereas nothing continues to get better but decays and turns to absolute destruction in the end. Mark Ridley an Evolutionist said "No evolutionist whether gradualist or punctuationist uses the fossil record as evidence in favor of The Theory of Darwinian Evolution as opposed to special Creation". God's Existence is made perfectly known and observable in the universe as demonstrated in His Handiwork in the intelligently designed manner that Creation was made, human consciences and consciousness historical and archaeological evidence of God's Word being valid history, fulfillment of Bible Prophecies God in His Holiness and Righteousness could give us what we deserve in Hell for our since but He's merciful to give us free will to choose to accept or reject His gift of salvation by grace through faith in His Son Jesus. I don't mean this is any condescending manner but if you'd like to discuss The Scriptures with me or have me listen to your view on anything my instagram account is Savage Christian Kombatant
It's so true, you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If your friends are overweight, you're next. If your friends are going nowhere, you've joined the club. Surround yourself with people who want to be where you want to be and will get you there because you want to get them there
What happens if I surround myself with no one?
@@trowwzers5057 idk how I can do that for you but you'll the be a nobody (to your neighbors that is, cuz they don't know you)
@@trowwzers5057ding ding ding. This is me. No jobs, friends or relationships since college graduation in 2010.
Not everyone is very welcoming and friendly towards someone new/new people so have to factor in that aspect. People have gone through bullying and isolation plenty or betrayal/backstabbing or constant manipulation which is sort of a given when entering a new territory.
I’m 27 (about to be 28) and I didn’t start out well. When I was 18 my mom died rather suddenly, I chose not to pursue athletics because I felt like I couldn’t leave home, I gained a bunch of weight, at 20 I dropped out of school, and at 23 I had a child and later that same year I lost my job in the pandemic.
Luckily I had great friends, a great family, and pretty good taste in women (my wife is amazing) so despite the way it felt my life wasn’t over. I’ve gotten in better shape, I built my own family, I make good money, my friends are building their families now and I get to watch from a different perspective.
Despite all that I’ve always felt like I missed out on the biggest part of my life. There were things I wanted to do and mistakes I wanted to make and goals I wanted to achieve but because I couldn’t handle tragedy I stumbled and fumbled my way through my early 20s. I still feel like I let myself and those around me down.
Now I’ve said all that to say this; so your best, don’t measure yourself against others, just make sure you’re better today than you were yesterday.
Don’t co-sign for anyone! It’s a great way to lose a friend and get stuck paying for someone else’s negligence.
Keep that in mind when signing a marriage contract too.
I started working on health/ well being at 29. Going on daily walks has become routine for me. I saved a fair bit in my 20s due to living with my fam but that won't last. So I've begun to pursue career paths and avenues having my money make MORE money.
thats something i definitely regret in my 20s, not saving money
The friends one really is true. My ex had no desire to grow, be independent, or mature; few of his friends had a strong direction in life and they all wanted to just have fun even though we’re not that young. My friends all have a strong direction, work hard, and inspire me to be a better person. In the end he broke up saying he wanted to still have more fun traveling the world instead of saving money to be independent. I’d love to travel too but not without enough savings to do so
As someone who made a mess out of his life in my 20's I wholeheartedly concur with your assessment.
In my late teens (17 to 19) and early 20's (20 to 22) I was a SIMP! And that's what Ruined my life for being a SIMP until one day my Uncle is pissed and He punched me in the face and telling me how loser I've been, it's not the punch the hits me so hard its his words and advice, his lectures that really gets me deep into my soul I was young and so stupid that he told me why would I chase Women instead of Chasing Purpose to improve myself and become the better man that Women are dreaming of. He told me Why would I chase Women IF I can make them chase me instead. Now Im 42yrs old I still remember his advice and lectures it feels like it was yesterday. He was right though. Women have been chasing me left and right.
My "friendships" have destroyed me over and over. Being too nice. Being too trusting. Not knowing that people might not want you to do well. A man has to learn to deal with bullying. Also do not get into hookup culture. I hope I can turn things around.
That’s the fault of them, not you.
I wish society would stop blaming the victim.
Great video as always! One thing I would also add is controlling your emotions. When I was younger, I always felt that when things didn't go my way or as expected, I would take things personally or get really upset. I have gotten much better at handling them but I would say that it would have been much better if someone had coached me on handling my emotions better early on.
23 here, I've made most of this mistakes. Thanks for the reminder Courtney. Greets! 🔥.
I'm in Monaco in the french riviera at the moment, I would say don't worry about mistakes you make in your 20,s, I'm 42 and still making mistakes, I'm trying to blag my way onto a boat, wish me luck guys !!
Great list! I would add to it to stop ghosting relationships and jobs: honor your commitments, let your yes's mean yes and no's mean no, stick things out, and if things need ending, end them truthfully and peacefully.
Surrounding myself with the wrong people is one of the main reasons why I'm so screwed-up. 28 YEARS! Why can't there at least be one person to be on my side no matter what?
I already taken care of myself physically. Mentally, I'm working on.
Lucky for me, I always save my money. The only way I lose my money is to date someone, move-out and start a family at a young age that all my money eventually go down the drain.
Sadly, I'm no stranger to being impulsive. But when it comes to relationships, I'm hoping it doesn't affect it. And you're right: life *is* unpredictable.
Considering the fact that I'm anti-drugs, I always avoid alcohol at all costs.
I am 26 and I feel like I have done a good job so far. I have surrounded myself with good, valid people. I have always practiced sports and I am currently in great shape. I have also invested quite a bit in my education and in fact I'll have to move in September to start working with my new job. I am excited but scared at the same time because leaving home will mean starting all over again. I am gonna have to build a new social circle, I'll find myself in a new working environment and in a new city and region. But I am gonna be okay. I have traveled a lot, I know how to adapt
Well, I’m paying attention to this one. Even though I’m 29 going on 30 this year 😂
After my final year of college I had to cut ties with my friends in my fraternity as I was drinking way too much to try and keep up. Today at 42, I'd say I rarely drink at all and would rather be healthier over going out to bars.
I’m 45 but act like I’m 15. Does this apply?
My 20s were full of ups and downs and experiences that were needed for me to grow and expand as an individual. As long as you know what you want out of life all of the peer pressure and negativity will not have any effect on where you will end up in life. Like she said having to remove yourself from certain environments to move ahead in life is key as well. Not everyone has the ability to be around the best of the best as far as people goes but realizing where and what you should be in life will prevent you from falling into ruin.
While a bunch of my friends would go out to parties I would stay home on work on my channel, now I have financial freedom at age 23. Gonna keep focusing and investing to take advantage of my 20s.
The worst is childhood long term trauma and cptsd
As a 41 year old man. Every single 12-25 year old needs an older man or woman to help them find their way. I tell every young man or woman that your early 20’s should be all about personal and professional growth. Don’t go out of your way to please others. The only people you need to answer to would be your boss at work, your significant other (if you have one), and the law. If you are going to be in a relationship don’t settle for the first one that comes your way
I’m 39 I’ve learned my mistakes through my 20s and mess with the wrong vampirism
Patience and Self-Control are crucial for improving one’s chances at being truly successful. Courtney, you are right! In an instant-made click culture, we need to be aware (and make necessary adjustments) of what we consume and invest in.
I've wasted my entire teenage life with unproductive habits. I'm now 21 and trying to develop in my 20s from now on.
Seeing this video just makes me really start worrying about myself because I’ll be 30 in November and I’ve been taking my life for granted throughout my whole 20s
Im about to finish my 20s. I feel very encouraged from this
One thing I would have told my younger self while in college was to take summer courses and certifications better my resume a little because the degree alone is no longer enough. Also, to take classes and finance regardless of major because that would be beneficial in the stock market in the long run to make wise investments.
Couldn't agree more on finances as 23 year old who spent most of his savings on things beyond his reach for almost a year( i don't regret buying my mother the things that our house required cause she had been cutting corners for my education or spending 1/6 of my salary on piano lessons loved them) but I had to draw a line and say hey I can't afford taking piano classes and start saving, this is paying huge dividends I can afford to renovate our house soon and get my dream bike while also saving 30-45% of my salary and that has changed my demeanor alot from instant gratification to delayed gratification
Almost from a boy to a man
Hi Courtney. Agree on the fitness. I swim regularly and its so good for my health and wellbeing.
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring, My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counselor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back
Interesting. Who is this counselor, and how do I meet the person?
her name is shelly renee white , you can look her up online.
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
I have two young adult sons and they seems to have avoided all these bad things listed here but sadly many of their school friends have not. A lot have put on weight, dropped out, drink too much. Not many have got into bad company but I told my sons when they age 16 that from that birthday their friends would change a lot and the race of life begins. It's amazing in just 5 years how many have fallen by the wayside when they all started in the same place with the same opportunities.
I know one o their friends who was at one of the top universities in the world thinking of doing a PhD in biotech with a golden future. Now bumming around as a part time ski instructor, never had a proper job. Totally lost himself.
Thanks for your videos.
41 yr old male, single (10 yrs) father of amazing daughter.
1. Develop a relationship with a trusted financial advisor. Start small, don’t wait (like I did.)
2. Be mindful of what you do to your body today WILL affect your body 10, 20, 30, etc yrs down the road. Drugs, alcohol, excessive exercise. Don’t be that guy in the guy lifting as heavy as he can. It will haunt you.
3. Learn to say NO, set boundaries.. start with easy ones.
I’m gonna limit my Starbucks to 3 a week (example.)
Self discipline.
4. MENTAL HEALTH is not separate from Physical Health.
Be proud that you are taking care of your mind and emotions.
Find a mental health provider you trust. I’ve see the same person for 21 years. Saved my life.
5. Remove the word assumption from your vocabulary.
Replace with suspect, or similar.
Assumptions set the groundwork for mistakes.
1- Surrounded By Wrong People 0:38
2- Neglecting Health & Well Being 2:39
3- Living Beyond Your Means 5:13
4- Instant Gratification Overload 7:03
5- Overconsumption Of Alcohol 8:41
Oh Courtney, where were you 40yrs ago? You are making the world a better place with grace. Truly admirable. Thank you.
Oh you are so kind! Thank you 🥹
Biggest piece of advice, Not taking enough risks in your 20s can set you up for a under achieving future.
Take calculated risks!
Guess my life if ruined. I’m 29 with 2 kids and no career . Only positive is I had them with a good women I’m still with
On regard to health, I always go back to my father and Bob Harper having a widow maker heart attack and my father dying at 45 from a stroke.. both were in good shape and there lives were stopped in there tracks. Even with the best of nutrition, genetics play a huge part..
on the others, it’s discipline. It’s also self restraint.. people know what to do typically, but do they want to do the necessary hard work to get them to a great path.
Friends is a very tough one.. because in your 20s you may find good people to hang around.. but if life goes off the rails in their 30s, 40s do you still chill with them? What are the odds of finding quality people in your 40, 50, 60s? Harder and harder to find.. they have so many train wrecks, or they have so many things uncommon that it’s not worth it.. that’s why your kids make such a difference in your life.
Honestly the drinking part when I was in my 20's was the time I built some of the best friends I can ever remember. However we did it in a different way than most might. We always drank at my friends house, watched out for each other, made sure no one drove, and had a place to sleep if you couldn't drive. We hung out, watched movies, played guitar hero, and had a blast. If newer people came into our group that didn't mesh well, they weren't invited back.
A thing I would add to this (which ties into health and finances) is refusing to learn how to cook, and eating out at fast food all of the time. You will save SOOOO much money and calorie intake by learning even just the basics. Steaming broccoli and Brussels sprouts, baking meat until it done but not overdone, mashing some potatoes, or even cooking some rice… and I know you like Dave Ramsey. And what does he say about eating on a budget??? Beans and rice, rice and beans. I’ve made some awesome healthy food while saving a ton of money in the process (I’m 24 with $40,000 sitting in the bank right now saving for a house)
You can gauge someone's level of maturity by their outlook on the future. A lot of short-term oriented folks will treat their 20s as a YOLO period, and those behaviors will usually linger past early adulthood. It's the micro-habits that we cultivate early in life that shape the way we behave later on.
The effect of compound interest makes a big difference over the long run. The earlier you start, the more drastic the yield. A good habit to develop would be to set aside a certain portion of your paycheck each week towards savings/investments and never touch it. It becomes much easier over time once you get into a routine by staying disciplined.
Being peer pressured into consuming alcohol is a common theme for anyone who's ever spent their early 20s in college. People almost assume that everyone around them drinks by virtue of the environment. This can be exacerbated if you live on campus where partying is rampant. There's also a social component to it in terms of extracurriculars and networking. The underlying expectation is that students show up to these events to sip on wine, and not doing so would be socially ostracizing.
Honey, your voice tone, your attitude, the way you speak and your body language i can see that you're very classy.
You husband is a lucky guy to have you.❤
Awesome advice from Courtney.
The drinking part is so true. It might be fun, social, and open doors in your 20s...but in your 30s and 40s - it becomes a crutch and a dependency that you let drag you around like an anchor.
My wife is way more appreciative of me as a husband and a father since i kicked the weekend warrior drinking out the door for good. There is no benefit of drinking beyond your 20s. I promise you - none.
I stopped drinking alcohol 2 years ago, haven’t looked back!!
Sober life is the best!!!
Great comments. Thanks and greetings from Mexico City.
"think of the person you stole from, and ask for forgiveness in the mind"; also, "say to yourself from time to time ' seek a righteous path, and wisdom will be yours'. The wisdom comes from your heart energy area, while yourself is at the stomach energy area. As you carry the energy of seeking a righteous path for the wisdom of your heart, you will notice new ideas, hobbies, and interests that bring you closer to the wisdom you seek. You will see a change in yourself in three months. You can ask your body what the wisdom of your heart entails."
I would say that young men should get their heart broken sooner rather than later. If your mother raised you to be a nice guy then just be yourself. Be a nice guy.. you'll learn a lot. If you survive the heartbreak and heal from it, you will become very strong. After your 20s, if you haven't experienced a lot of shit, you're less likely to recover from it when it finally hits the fan for you.
I'm about to turn 40, and Courtney's words on fitness and health are spot-on. If you had one car to last you the rest of your life, you'd be maintaining that car in tip-top condition - you only have one body, so quit abusing it. Set yourself up with good habits and healthy routines as early as you possibly can. The 10lbs I'd "get around" to losing when I was 25 are somehow 70lbs now. Don't be like me, take care of yourself early.
As a man almost to 40, I would encourage any guy to take this advice. However, I understand when you're in your 20s, it is easy to feel like you have so much time, you're invincible, and niave. I grew up with a mom that spent like we were millionaires and a dad that wouldn't buy a candy bar. I didn't know about finances, and cared little as long as I had money (at least $500) in my savings account. Thankfully I upped my 4O1k contributions (not because I knew what it meant or what I was doing, but that older mentors at work told me that it was a good idea), but a few years ago now, I made a spreadsheet and organized my finances and have now saved so much more without changing my lifestyle too much.
You talked about "Cheap vs Frugle", and I think this would be a great video if you haven't already. When I was in my 20s I didn't understand the differences and it would have went a long way for me!
Thanks for your video they are entertaining and informative, keep up the great work!!
My best friend died from liver failure when he was 38. He passed away the same day as Biz Markie. I actually didn't know about Biz Markie until that following Monday since my friend's little brother called me with the bad news personally.
Choosing the wrong career too. I made the switch to IT in my mid 30s and doing great now but looking back if I would of did this from the start Id have over 10 years experience and be a senior making mad money instead of just starting now.
In my 20s I graduated from college with a business degree; worked for a Housing Authority in an office and realized I didn’t want to work in an office; got hired for various manager trainee jobs, was bored; went to Marine Corps Officer Candidates School in Quantico, VA; was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant at age 25; lived on Okinawa for 3 years, travelled to S. Korea, Tokyo, Guam and Saipan; our son was born when I was 28; bought our first home at age 28; and was promoted to the rank of Captain by age 30….
Fellas, listen to Courtney’s advice…and hold off on buying things you don’t need in your 20s. Lastly, don’t be afraid to take risks!
Now I remember who you remind me of Lynda Carter from the 70s. I might be 20 years old but I remember seeing a picture of her from the 70s and you 2 have a striking resemblance.
As one of the (probably) younger people here(18 years old), these things are just as essential to be aware of in late teenage years as in your 20’s. A lot of this stuff can be prevented with discipline
I am passed my twenties, don’t drink. I would say be cautious about bars if you attend events there.
As an older man if I could go back to my 20’s I would Not be afraid of the NO and pursue the women I was interested in!
Please start adding chapters in your videos
Im about to finish my 20s. I feel very encouraged from this video. Thank you
I asked a girl out that I liked 16 hours ago and I was left on read. I guess she was not interested in me 😕
1. Don't be surrounded by the wrong people: choose the people who wants around you wisely (she means: people who has bad habits or a negative environment).
2. Care about your self-care (ya know: exercise, skincare, good sleep, no alcohol, stop smoking, etc).
3. Be conscious about your financial health, and take your future seriously enough.
4. Be more thoughtful and think more in long term and not being a short term person, be self-disciplined.
5. Avoid the over consumption of
alcohol.
Hey, Courtney and everyone.
Hi Yosef!
The advice I would give is live and experience, but not every weekend, and NEVER black out drunk that you don't remember a thing, that can be dangerous.
11 minutes is not enough for all the mistakes i made in my 20's but it's a start.
I prefer staying around positive and supportive people
I'm going to blow my own horn here and say that I was the "shining example" for a bunch of my friends. I was always disciplined, studious, etc. I was the captain of my fencing team in college (1988-1991). I was the President and Treasurer of the fencing club. My main friends through all of this were regular college guys who loved drinking and parties, etc. I know, from talking to them over the years (and yes, we still touch base occasionally), that I helped them be more disciplined (mostly through fencing). I am proud of that. And they have all become great people -- NOT because of me but because they are great men, but I think I had a little bit to do with that. "Be the change you want to achieve."
Hi Courtney, I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and I was wondering if you could possibly give out a video for dating advice for people who have ASD ( Autism Spectrum Disorder ). As an autistic person, I’d really appreciate it if you could share your thoughts on this issue with people who struggle with autism and social interactions. Have a great day!
I dont believe this is even for just men, this is for women as well. All of these steps thar Courtney has said are great things that can be applied for all walks of life.
Here’s some advice from the other extreme from a male in his 40’s
Working hard is a great way to avoid a lot of these pitfalls as you’ll be too busy. But don’t forget to have some fun along the way. Balance is your best friend.
Focusing too much on pop culture is a major issue...too much time spent attempting to be an alpha or the cool guy
Focus on building yourself up young men
Learn who you are and what you enjoy doing
I'm 21 and had never a drink and never plan to, even though the age is 18 in Australia
I don't know of any man in his late teens and early twenties who has his act together 100%!!! I got my act together after the age of 25, but up until then, my friends were musicians and drank too much. And I didn't know any male who would ever use skin care products.
@Courtney, I'm SUPER grateful for your channel, YOU ARE a wonderful woman with strong moral/healthy lifestyle and you've help me a LOT to reinforce my thoughts, emotions, boundaries, you name it. I'm a more confident man thanks to you, keep it up!!
Thanks Coutney, I have been thinking about these things for a while. I turn 20 in 3 days!! The one thing I'm going to add is skincare because I have never taken care of my skin
Happy early birthday! 🤍
she is very right about everything single thing she said
I think my biggest mistake was not trying to date b/c I was always flat broke, or so busy with school. Now that I'm in my 40's I have a pretty good job, and no idea how to start a relationship.
Another one. .choose a career that pays you well and helps you to minimize distractions and enticements that coerce you to drink and live beyond your means! I surely wish I could tell my 20 year old self this. .
Oh neat, tell your husband congratulations on his first physical store opening. It looks really nice. I just wish I lived closer so I could visit.
You’re so kind, thank you! ❤️
Getting married
Just dropping a comment to say Thanks Courtney.
The 20's is a critical time for the majority of men. The vast majority haven't made it yet so they need to prioritize and focus on their careers, building up their net worths, and getting their lives in order. This will set the stage for what will happen to them in their 30's 40's and beyond. The challenge of course is that in your 20's distractions and diversions abound. Partying and alcohol. But women primarily. Lay off chasing women. If you want to get married and start a family, limit yourself only to those you see as wife material. Otherwise you really need to ignore dating and good for nothing women who will suck your limited resources out of you. As an older man, the guys I saw while young who chased and focused on women and getting laid mostly ended up broke and alone. Don't let this happen to you. If you set the foundation for success in your 20's the women will come to you in your 30's. But focus, focus, focus!
You didn't mention the most important decision that we ever make, and it's one that we frequently make in our 20s: Who will be the mother of our children and our lifelong (we hope) partner?
Another one: the 20s are when most lay the foundation for their careers. Get the foundation right.
If you have an insecure attachment style, you are only going to be attracted to others without an insecure attachment, as well.