New Burnout Recovery Cycle (Strategy for Avoiding Autistic Burnout)

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  • Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024

Комментарии • 153

  • @tqsuited
    @tqsuited 2 года назад +75

    You've just explained what I call the "all or nothing" attitude I've always had. I'm either fully invested and motivated to do a specific task or purpose, or not at all. And like just being home alone doing nothing productive (i.e. watch youtube videos, Netflix). I suffer burnout just working a full-time 9-5 job, so I am self-employed doing my own hours depending on when I need more money or not.

    • @haleys4899
      @haleys4899 Год назад +8

      @@12yop086 I also feel like two (or more) different people sometimes. As a tangent, it’s interesting how a phenomenon like this could be mistaken for a symptom of a personality or mood disorder

  • @shannantreasure
    @shannantreasure 2 года назад +24

    YES! This is what I started doing in the early 2010s to make my way out of a really bad longterm burnout cycle. I didn't know I was autistic then, but I experimented with coping strategies and realized that taking dance classes and trying a new brunch place every other Sunday and taking a long weekend once a month to go see friends was critical to keeping me functional even when the stressors continued. I needed that play time. I love the way you explained it here. Thanks, Paul!

    • @Eduisit
      @Eduisit 2 года назад +1

      How do you take time off from work if you need it? I get summer holidays as a teacher, but not much time at all for the other 10 months. And with young kids, summer isn’t really a holiday :)

    • @shannantreasure
      @shannantreasure 2 года назад +1

      ​@@Eduisit Ooph. I'm in education too. I didn't take much time off because I couldn't. I'm the only income in my home, plus it's not the kind of career you can just leave behind. What I did was cycle through work , crashing, and specific "play" activities during the week in order to bleed off as much overload as possible along the way. Then I would go see a friend one weekend a month. I'd time it around long weekends if I could. Sometimes I took a Friday off if there was no long weekend that month. Having travel overlap with a weekend minimized the break in routine, as did keeping it short. Anything longer than 3-4 days actually ended up feeling more stressful because I had to transition into the trip and then transition out of it. Usually I crash big time at winter and spring break. If I had young kids around, I think I would probably do shorter breaks, but more frequently. That's tough. Good luck!

  • @KathrineJKozachok
    @KathrineJKozachok 2 года назад +21

    Thank you for this message! So timely and true. This entire year I have been working on ME, resting more, making time for my interests and hobbies, feeling less guilty about not being 'productive'. Result: I have been more productive than ever in the area of self-healing which, in turn, will enable me to be more productive in 'work'.

    • @NormyTres
      @NormyTres Год назад +1

      My new year resolution for 2023 is to be kind to myself. It's totally out of the box for me. My resolutions are usually about productivity and developing good habits, so it's quite inspiring to see your post. Thank you. :)

    • @KathrineJKozachok
      @KathrineJKozachok Год назад

      YT channel, The Royal We, really helps you learn to put yourself first.

  • @matematicasperras
    @matematicasperras Год назад

    Great video. I have noticed that you have this book on the self "Underdogs", I have just read the synopsis and I thought "Is this a fiction work or a realistic one?" jajajjaja! synopsis: "One million cloned soldiers. A nation imprisoned. A group of neurodiverse rebels fighting back. Britain as we know it lies destroyed."
    I love your plant, it is very beautiful 🥰

  • @monikaallison7287
    @monikaallison7287 2 года назад +2

    Thanks this was very helpful. I was diagnosed following a major burnout and it feels like I never recovered. You make it sound like crashing is a choice, but what I call crashing is out of my control and I'm pretty much out with it till my brain restarts - zero functionality. Still trying to get my head round what is happening.

    • @denizday7785
      @denizday7785 Год назад +2

      I’m not sure, but I think he’s describing what you can do when you’re starting from a place of recovery in order to function effectively from that point forward. It sounds like you (and me) are so burned out right now that you only recover enough to do more work (e.g. from 0% energy to 10% energy, then back to 0). At that point, I think the idea of “playing”, even if it’s something you would have loved back when you had energy, sounds way too hard.
      I don’t know if there’s a way for you to take the time to fully recover in your life (without ending up homeless), but I think the theory is that if you’re able to build your energy back up to 30-50%, then you can have more choice over when you let yourself crash, and potentially start being able to speed recovery with play? (That’s not medical advice or anything, just my interpretation of what he’s said from this video in combination with a couple others). I sincerely hope you’re able to find a solution that gives you a better quality of life!

  • @tiddlypom2097
    @tiddlypom2097 2 года назад

    Going to try this!
    I have noticed that I can get energy to do something different or novel, without the pressure. But I have to be careful or I just jump from one thing to another using the energy, but I haven't actually reset - I don't have proper downtime.
    Currently struggling with burnout...
    ...and the older I get, the harder it is to recover. Also I think more is expected of us, in terms of executive function.

  • @mike-williams
    @mike-williams 2 года назад

    Starting a new job that requires a lot of (passive) learning is very tiring for me and folds in anxiety that I'm not visibly doing anything. Having tasks I can get flow with help to contain that.

  • @susyQ564
    @susyQ564 Год назад

    Thank you your amazing

  • @lisaweinmeyer5782
    @lisaweinmeyer5782 2 года назад +1

    Just wondering if you have done a video on books, that you have read?

  • @craigcarter400
    @craigcarter400 2 года назад

    Earlier today I took a nap and then casually walked through a shopping center I am usually picking up food orders from

  • @brentjacobs3264
    @brentjacobs3264 2 года назад

    Hi Paul thanks for videos.
    Perhaps you could give me some advise on my situation...
    I am Brent from South Africa.
    I am 51 years old.
    A little background.
    Been married 2x have 4 children.
    I have HFA...
    Routines are Extreme for me eg... I skip 5000 skips everyday I run 10klm everyday.... It makes me feel great.
    I am in Control of my world.
    I am not great with relationships hardly have friends.
    I can eat the same food everyday.
    I am also a bit disleksic.
    I get extremily angry.
    I have not been able to keep jobs in the past.
    I have obsessions and I am a perfectionist.
    I found magic tricks have helped me I actually made it a career for the last 20 years I feel when I do magic I am happy and can please people.
    I seem only to be functional in the real world when i fix cars and train and do magic outside of this I am not functional at all with people.
    I like been alone for very long periods of time.
    The magic puts me in a fairy tale world that excites me.
    Some days I have highs some days low.
    Thing is I don't know when to stop my routines... If I miss out on a day my entire world falls apart.. I am very extreme on myself.
    Is this a blessing or a curse?
    People around me just can't keep up.
    I love music and feel I can hear things others can't.
    Am I crazy?
    How do I learn to control this?
    Please give me advise Paul.
    Regards Brent
    Email 28bjacobs@gmail.com

  • @tris5602
    @tris5602 2 года назад +85

    Last week, I measured all the cabinets and drawers in my kitchen, and then created a diagram of the spaces. I want to reorganize the setup eventually, and don't think the diagram will be that helpful for doing so, but I really enjoyed making it anyway. It's pretty.

    • @wanderingohm
      @wanderingohm 2 года назад +2

      Like the model I've made of my replacement lean-to greenhouse... Its not that I took the old one down and now starting the next build is paralysing with indecision
      But I enjoyed making the model and taking some of the stress about it away

    • @1337Cassie
      @1337Cassie Год назад +9

      Dude I love putting effort into pretending I'm going to bring to fruition this perfected, master plan to organize something. Then my ADHD is like, thanks but I just saw something over there.... (I haven't been diagnosed with Autism, I'm just second-ing what you said). 😅 It's fun to plan it all out, I can see it in my head and it's basically done. it's just currently in a mess....Haha

  • @ガブ水島
    @ガブ水島 2 года назад +44

    I feel like the best way to recover from an autistic burnout has to do with spending your time on what makes you happy (e.g. hyper focus and interests), instead of resting while doing nothing, cuz it might make you even more tired, and with the feeling that you're wasting your time.
    Idk, autistic burnout just seems way different than a simple feeling of tiredness.

    • @tdawgtesseract5601
      @tdawgtesseract5601 2 года назад +7

      We seem to be natural artists and scientists or hobbyists of sorts. When I complete a project and get to taste the fruits of my labor, I seem to recover from burnout. but if I invest all that time and focus and something goes wrong and i lose progress, That initiates a hard crash. I end up doing nothing because everything feels like a waste of time and a lot of work. I think the rest comes in when we have no other options but that rest recovers our interests

    • @ciaraskeleton
      @ciaraskeleton 11 месяцев назад +4

      I agree. If I just sleep, or 'rest' but don't engage in my interests, I start getting depressed instead of feeling rejuvenated.
      That's what makes it tricky BC sometimes I am too tired to engage in what I need to do to rejuvenate myself! So the burnout lasts longer.

  • @kariannefimland1475
    @kariannefimland1475 2 года назад +50

    This was brilliant Paul! I am recently diagnosed (at 38) about 2 months ago. Am finally undwrstanding how autistic burnout work and why I srruggle. This understanding of not having enough recovery and the burnout then sort of accumulating makes so much sense. This video explains so much in such a simple way. Will definately get the book you recommened. :) hugs from Norway 😘

    • @enverse244
      @enverse244 2 года назад +4

      I strongly agree with and relate to this comment. I was diagnosed July 9th, 2019 (at 31) in the midst of a burnout at University.
      Thank you so much for the video, Paul. There seem to be fewer resources for people in our age group, your channel helps to bridge the gap.
      I sometimes feel like the song “On the Drift” by Bedlam Bards. It’s a song based on an episode of Joss Whedon’s Firefly TV series. At other times, I feel like “A Leaf on the Wind”.
      Thanks again to you Paul and to you, Karianne. Best of luck, at least we know we’re not alone in our efforts to better know ourselves. Independent together, we will navigate this strange, tragic, beautiful existence. Even if it seems incompatible or inhospitable to us at times, I do believe we can find serenity.

  • @craymore7034
    @craymore7034 2 года назад +10

    Does it let you get really angry if someone awake you from sleep

    • @yazajag
      @yazajag 2 года назад +1

      I feel the same when disturbed from sleep >:)

    • @AggroPhene
      @AggroPhene 2 года назад

      i think the rest period should be able to withstand interruption, certainly w/o anger. If not, it is likely to be the antisedant of "hyper-focus".

    • @Dedo70
      @Dedo70 2 года назад +1

      Yes, I'm a beast when woken. It's not fun for anyone in this house, and it takes so long for me to get regulated.

  • @MaxBoffo
    @MaxBoffo 2 года назад +36

    Love seeing some burnout strategy, especially with rolling updates lol. I would like to see you talk about how to apply this to someone (me) who works 40 hrs Monday-Friday. I've had to call off work recently due to a burnout-adjacent issue, and I, like many others, have very limited time off. Your channel is very useful to me, thanks for sharing your knowledge!

    • @bacchira1251
      @bacchira1251 2 года назад +5

      I have the same question.

    • @Eduisit
      @Eduisit 2 года назад +2

      Same question.

    • @lisadesertwoman5213
      @lisadesertwoman5213 2 года назад +2

      Same. Difficult to rest and recover, when working full time. Plus, I have multiple chronic painful medical issues.

    • @NormyTres
      @NormyTres Год назад

      Yep, minimum 45 hours, shifts over 7 days. I do hyper focus on work, which helps, but it's still tough.

    • @ms.kayenne
      @ms.kayenne Год назад

      same question! so I came to the comments looking for people to be talking about this.
      I want to put my suggestion out there and see what y’all think.
      so what if: we approach our weekends/time off with the max. self-preservation mindset? to me, this means being quite protective of my allotted rest time, so I need to carefully choose - and/or restrict - my activities and responsibilities. this also means that on Friday afternoons/evenings, I’m cultivating a mindset of “this is MY TIME - my mind, body, and soul are screaming at me to rest and have some enjoyment, and it is essential that I obey those feelings”.
      also, whenever any federal holidays fall around a weekend (if applicable to your work), we *could* take PTO one additional day and amount it to a 4-day weekend! that’s something to look forward to isn’t it? 😍

  • @Dedo70
    @Dedo70 2 года назад +22

    I'm working from home and have lately started a small exercise routine, incorporating it just as you are describing...work, scroll Amazon or some mindless activity, then exercise but didn't know how powerful this process is until I recognized it when listening to you doing the same, Paul. I think we're on to something! Thank you!

  • @ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy
    @ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy 2 года назад +6

    Yep. And when a task is really boring (like doing the laundry) it seems impossible to get going, until I run out of all clean clothes to wear. Or having to drive to the grocery store, where driving is half of the stress, or feels like a long process.

  • @LuminousKugelblitz
    @LuminousKugelblitz 2 года назад +12

    Hello , I'm a 23 year old undergrad architecture student and I've recently been diagnosed with it . I've 14 week class schedule ( 7-1-7) and whatever the project is going on our professors always overload us with submissions ( in mid break and all the weekends . I start every term / semester with enthusiasm but I get absolutely burnout by the overwhelming load of projects , submissions , class tests and assignments . After 7/8 week I literary can't focus on anything , because of this I'm also not doing well in academics . What gives me a lot of mental pain that , everybody around me is also doing things well and I'm not even able to function well in my daily chores .
    I'm a person who loves to read , write (I write professionally too ) and very much into self learning about the things I love to do . But it's the academics and keeping up with the stream that really puts a toll on me .
    People call me that , " No , you are just lazy , you just don't want to work" , etc . But I don't believe in their talks .Because I'm a person who trained herself and got admission in top stem school in my country . And person who is lazy or don't want to work can't just work 12/13 hrs a day when she is working . It's only a few days that I've been diagnosed because of my extreme burnout cycle .
    What can I do about it ? How can I make understand the people around me that what ever I'm going through . People often tell me to socialize or hang out with uni peers but that's extremely exhausting for me .
    Thank you for your videos .

    • @peterwynn2169
      @peterwynn2169 2 года назад +3

      I don't know which country you're in, but in Australia, at some universities, you can have allowances, depending upon your course, such as a less than full-time load. If I had known I am autistic when I started university, I would have opted to do three subjects per semester instead of four and I would have said, "Okay, I'll do my two Japanese subjects and one History subject per semester, to have extra time to research and study and prepare my essays."

    • @LuminousKugelblitz
      @LuminousKugelblitz 2 года назад +2

      @@peterwynn2169
      Hi, I'm from Bangladesh and unfortunately there is no system like this in my uni.

    • @peterwynn2169
      @peterwynn2169 2 года назад

      @@LuminousKugelblitz, I am sorry to hear that.

    • @Batutu0
      @Batutu0 11 месяцев назад

      Hi, how are you doing now? I'm 20 and a year ago i pretty much went through the same thing, first thing that may help is to delegate your burden on chores as much as possible, like you can ask help from your family, bring your clothes to laundromat, eating out, and have other place (like library) to study so you can only come back to your dorm to sleep and shower so you don't need to clean your dorm room as often. Food and drink, clean clothes, throw out garbage. This is the basic that at least must be covered no matter what
      2nd. If Its possible you can try to make physical pile of all your assignment, to do it one by one. So like you have a railroad ahead of you instead of complicated branched road, so that you dont have to stress out which assignment you have to do first etc. You may have specific condition where you can hyperfocus (like I should be alone, with not too bright light, in a narrow space etc), have at least one place where you can do that undisturbed. If you have any little adjustment that you think can help, I encourage you to talk to student council. It should be easier if you have your diagnosis already.
      3rd. Rest, take a semester off if needed. And do what makes you feel better. Don't bother to try to socialize if you don't comfortable to, it wont work in the end. Do your daily life on your own prefered way if possible, and automate everything. Make time for your special interest. When you don't want to do anything, have some little project to do (like puzzle, or make a categorization) of your special interest will cheer you up and take your mind away from your life stressor

    • @Batutu0
      @Batutu0 11 месяцев назад

      If they wont understand, they still wont in the near future my dear. Let it be. Just know that everything you feel is telling you something, it will help you orient your daily life to suit you more

  • @yazajag
    @yazajag 2 года назад +12

    Thank you for this confirmation, the added rujevination/play/interest to help with burn out is what has helped me a little more when I need to recover. It's slow 🐌 but I see some progress. 🙏🏽

  • @droid16beta97
    @droid16beta97 2 года назад +6

    I need to see this one

  • @carolynhartman2849
    @carolynhartman2849 2 года назад +5

    Im expeiriencing a massive long term burnout and ive been struggling so much with it, i went through a lot and im taking so long to recover, so thank you so much for your videos, your so informative and have broght me hope to my life thank you so much, i was just diagnosed with autism and i finally make sense to something...

  • @vanilla_bryce
    @vanilla_bryce Год назад +4

    I think your explanation of your journey is extremely interesting. I literally go through periods where I can intensely focus on a single task for 8, 10, or even 12 hours. I've had employers tell me I'm doing the most work of anyone in the office, team, etc. Unfortunately, I find it really hard to control when I get motivated, it's like I've been pushing a boulder up a hill; once I get it over the top, there's no stopping it until it hits the valley below. Then, I start the long, arduous task of pushing that boulder up the other side. It makes it really hard to function in a rigid, 9-5 schedule if the job involves any kind of complex work beyond simple labor, filing, etc. I can crank out the hard stuff like nobody's business for a few days, but then I burn out. It is exhausting. Surprisingly, I used to be a lot better at regulating my burnout because I had the structure and support provided by my family. Now that I'm an adult, I have to do so much more to support myself. This makes life feel extremely challenging at times, because I need to rest and recover, but I often can't afford to. Hopefully finishing my masters and landing a good job will help me achieve the flexibility and financial stability I need in order to function in this non-standard way.

  • @abdulmunim007
    @abdulmunim007 2 года назад +3

    Hi Paul,
    I just came to this specific video as it's the most recent one....hoping you would actually read this message.
    There is so much gratitude I want to Express, but as it's only on RUclips...
    I'll be brief, I have never met you in person but I would like to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    I have been married to an Aspie who sadly prefers to live in denial. However, these videos like yours and others have really truly ENLIGHTENED ME, GIVEN ME HOPE!!
    I actually thought about giving up on so many occasions.
    Please be proud of the work and the difference you are making to people in so many aspects of their lives.
    Thank you

  • @ambercara2139
    @ambercara2139 2 года назад +6

    Fantastic, thank you! You just clarified so much for me 😄

  • @peterwynn2169
    @peterwynn2169 2 года назад +6

    I can remember being extremely burnt out when I finished high school. What my parents didn't understand or didn't want to understand, is that I had a brother who pestered me to play cricket with him, even though I hated it, and they saw me going out to do it with him as refreshment and exercise, whereas it burnt me out more. Typically, during any school holiday, once I had finished study, my brother would nag for cricket or football (I hated that, too) and by the end of the holidays, rather than being rested and refreshed and ready for school, I was tired and burnt out.
    What I needed was for my parents to be able to say, "Okay, you'll have to spend some time with your brother and a fair compromise is, he can't demand that you go out and play cricket between 10am and 3pm on any given day, and after 4pm on certain days, you have to. And he'll also have to get used to doing some things by himself."
    I remember my mother saying, when I was struggling with math, "We had these Home Tutor programs, but you wouldn't do them." Now, that's not entirely true. When I was in Year Four, I'd had the momentous change of, a new city, a new house and a new school, in October. As an undiagnosed autistic, that was hard. What my mother should have done was say, "Okay, you had seven days off school with the chickenpox last term, (I did, and I remember, on the second Friday of term, I felt unwell, and I vomited. My teacher rang my mother and asked her come and get me, and another teacher even said that I still had some chickenpox and maybe I came back to school too early) BUT, you can have four days off school, as well (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday), and start at your new school the following Monday." What I didn't want was to do the Home Tutoring over the Christmas Holidays! I wanted a break! I would have been happier to do, say, half an hour's homework when I came home from school, which was roughly what I had, anyway, and then half an hour of the home tutoring AFTER I'd done my homework. I remember, I had an A First Dictionary (a dumbing down from the Oxford School Dictionary, where our spelling homework was to write the word out three times, write the definition of the word on the next line and then make a sentence with the word) and I used to do the exercises in it for fun. I also used to ask my mother to write sentences where I had to pick the right word out of a homophone.
    When I finished high school, what I needed was not to attend Schoolies Week, but for my parents to say, "Okay, you have worked extremely hard at school and your marks are great. So, what we'll do is take the caravan up to the North Coast, and you can have a week there by yourself, if you like." My days would have been, "Wake up at around 9am, walk across to the shop and get a paper and then come back and have breakfast, read the paper, listen to some music on my portable stereo, have lunch, listen to some more music, go down to the beach at around 4pm, or go for a walk, have tea at around 6pm, go to sleep at around 10pm." And have more rest when I got home.

  • @krugerfuchs
    @krugerfuchs 2 года назад +3

    I take real offence to burnout being a status symbol

  • @maartenraps3076
    @maartenraps3076 2 года назад +6

    Excellent explanation. This problem is how I found out I had autism and I slowly develop this coping mechanism over the years myself. If only ive seen this video years ago :')
    Important to note tho is that your recovery cycle can look different. Try to personalize it with things that allow you to reset your brain.

  • @edgelordcutting
    @edgelordcutting 2 года назад +3

    Paul you absolute bloody legend thank you so much 💜

  • @Britishshadow
    @Britishshadow 2 года назад +2

    How long do your burnouts last? The recent heatwave in the U.K. has totally burned me out, I still haven’t fully recovered.

  • @autismmomjoy
    @autismmomjoy 2 года назад +3

    Tuning in

  • @SusKa22
    @SusKa22 8 месяцев назад +1

    I am exhausted all my life😢 I didn’t understand until I was diagnosed at 58. Both of my children are also neurodivergent. So I told them to look for a profession in the future, where they can reload in a way they need. The unusual body temperature is also autism. Whether you’re always cold or always 🥵. So thank you for this eyeopening content. You’re brilliant.

  • @ssths
    @ssths 2 года назад +3

    Been looking forward to this one

  • @with_compassion
    @with_compassion Год назад +2

    Agreed--it compounds like taking water from an empty well:
    Adrenal fatigue!
    Thank you for what you do.

  • @BarbaraMerryGeng
    @BarbaraMerryGeng 2 года назад +3

    Thank you, Paul

  • @sandytherry8647
    @sandytherry8647 8 месяцев назад

    This is exactly the same as me, but I have ADHD, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

  • @CMZIEBARTH
    @CMZIEBARTH Год назад

    I honestly think that there's a stage beyond burnout. UPDATE: I see now that you are bringing up the terms "long-term burnout" and "massive burnout."

  • @bingbongalong
    @bingbongalong 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you, this helped me realize that I'm only ever hitting the "crash" stage of the recovery process. Each day after work and each weekend I'm just crashing and there's not enough time and energy for me to rejuvenate and play, so no wonder I continue to get more and more burned out. I don't think the traditional 9-5 work model is sustainable for me

  • @livenotbylies
    @livenotbylies 5 месяцев назад

    Re-creation. It's almost like the catholic church was right about life or something

  • @DarkLittleMaiden
    @DarkLittleMaiden Год назад

    How do I work full time in a complex role and complete a degree in psych science (1 unit only a semester) without burning out.
    Everyone talking about this says "do less" but that is essentially asking me to quit my degree. I can't take fewer subjects and I kind of need to have a job to pay my mortgage.
    I say this as someone who is in the worst burnout I've ever faced. I'm honestly terrified of what I am going through but am (ofc) late diagnosed AuDHD and didn't know better until now.

  • @isotope73
    @isotope73 Год назад

    I don't know how to have any fun when you've been broke as a joke forever ( i would have to sell my plasma for food & gas money). I do desperately want to have fun. I don't have any friends and have been in burnout since 2009. I don't go anywhere on my days off so I can save gas money. I bought a yatzee game & I can play by myself but it's definitely not fun. I should be able to afford a dart board next month. I do love darts. I work graveyard which makes things more complicated.

  • @ciaraskeleton
    @ciaraskeleton 11 месяцев назад

    Having my first burnout whilst knowing im Autistic and im grieving that im going to have to do this for the rest of my life. That im going to have to exhaust myself explaining over and over again why i cannot just 'keep going'. That im going to be the friend who does just disappear for a week or 6 and not say a word bc im not able to function.
    Its the guilt rn that i struggle with. I hate myself for being like this. I utterly hate myself. People around me do not understand. They see it as me being ungrateful or entitled. When i physically, mentally, emotionally cant do anything.
    It contributes to burnout when no one around you understands that burnout isnt a little joke i play when i just fancy being lazy. Its something that ruins my life, if i dont stop and put effort into recovery, ill end up in chronic burnout and be severely depressed. I wish to God more people understood that when we are pushed to our limit and then pushed some more, that it is detrimental to our health all round.
    Its not us having a tantrum, or being lazy, or rude, it physically causes us pain and we start to shut down from the inside out.
    People dont consider the loss of skills too. I go from being able to pass as a normal human to sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth stimming and sobbing. I cant do any of the things i 'normally' do. Not even the things that i need to do to feel human like wash, eat, walk, think. I cant do small talk at all, i cant read anyones face, or feel a part of anything. I feel desolate and as if my world has been ripped out from underneath me.
    Will this ever not devastate me? How am i meant to live any kind of life when i cant even do bare minimum normal human things? I hate myself

  • @InimitaPaul
    @InimitaPaul 2 года назад +2

    I avoid burnout by being picky about what it is that I choose to do, if I’m passionate about it it takes zero momentum and if I’m not then it’s not something I should be forcing myself to do. I do what I have to do and don’t add weight unnecessarily, leaving energy for the stuff I love.

  • @infinitybeyond1089
    @infinitybeyond1089 8 месяцев назад

    Cmon man I got kids ones downs one hyper and a wife with borderline. What do I do?

  • @deborahlee8135
    @deborahlee8135 2 года назад +2

    That is an incredibly important realisation Paul, thank you! Iwas coming to similar realisation myself. I received my dx when my latest crash became crash and burn (59yo). For the last decade i'd been reducing all my 'play' and 'rejuvenate' times as my baseline for wellness became lower and lower, my sick days longer, my holiday leave being utilised for recovery. 'Buying' additional leave for more breaks. A nice big mess 🤦‍♀️ Even after nearly 3 months in recovery i am only just starting to feel physically rested and to recognise the positive impact 'play' is having in that process. I'm still extremely hypersensory so going out with others etc is limited to bush walks mostly or quiet 'parrallel play'. This seems like a very good strategy, though i expect to be going back to work very soon (limited hours to find my capacity) i will have to actively prepare this i think and include the pattern in my process.

  • @mauhu
    @mauhu Год назад

    But what if you don’t have much free time and you the authority to change your schedule.

  • @pamtufnell6751
    @pamtufnell6751 Год назад

    Complete dark no stimulus at all works for me after shutdown

  • @UrbanomicInteriors
    @UrbanomicInteriors Год назад +1

    This is EXACTLY what I have struggled with for SO LONG.
    Could this finally be the information that will help me develop new strategies for my life?
    Thank you for shining a light on this for me!

  • @RachelNitsche
    @RachelNitsche Год назад

    It does sound interesting but how would one do it when working a 8 to 5 job every week?

  • @dmnhntr86
    @dmnhntr86 Год назад

    I don't think I knew your last name till just now, lol

  • @PL-ue6uw
    @PL-ue6uw Месяц назад

    Very good! Thanks🎉

  • @tinaayer801
    @tinaayer801 Год назад

    So true, crashing isnt recovery..

  • @aqualungs77
    @aqualungs77 2 года назад +2

    This has been my biggest challenge lately.. started a small business with aquatic shrimp, and needed to build stands for everything.. on top of that I had 2 other carpentry projects to finished. One I built the momentum to start my drive was intense. I burnt out a few times and just forced myself to stop and rest because I knew I was past my limit, but I was not where I wanted to be finished wise. My back also went out, I take weekly injections so that wears me out. But I just told myself it was ok to not be finished.. that was hard to accept, but my body hurt so bad.. Also having alexithymia and not knowing when to eat and use the bathroom properly. I dont realize I'm hungry til I'm sick. I have to stick to a time and eating schedule. I will put off using the bathroom until it's almost too late. The struggle is real.
    Being autistic, having ehlers danlos, and psoriatic arthritis can put me in burnout fast. It's very hard to stay focused on my projects and maintain a healthy life with my wife, work, and family.

  • @shadowNlightNash
    @shadowNlightNash 2 года назад +2

    This speaks to me So Much. 🙏

  • @Susanbeing
    @Susanbeing 2 года назад +1

    I think this pattern is why they have diagnosed me with bipolar since 1986, at 15. Now at 50, well since i was 45 i have felt my masks just disintegrating. Noone close to me believes me so i am going to get a diagnosis but am afraid i will mask again, i am at my wit's end, i also have cptsd and adhd. Bipolar meds make me worse by the way, except lamictal is not too bad.

    • @neurodivtries4101
      @neurodivtries4101 2 года назад

      Please go for the evaluation. The diagnosis will bring a little peace and closure in your mind.
      And who knows you might start working in the field you love and become successful too.

  • @nordmannenfrank6066
    @nordmannenfrank6066 2 года назад +2

    I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 14, I'm 18 now and i find your videos informing and helpful to understand the diagnosis better than listening to people around you describe it to the best of their ability, and getting to learn it on my own. Thank you!

  • @thisbydumplings
    @thisbydumplings 2 года назад +1

    this is so validating and helpful. such good tools! i love your channel tons, thank you so much!

  • @christianemichelberger8245
    @christianemichelberger8245 2 года назад +2

    That was so interesting, thank you Paul!
    I wonder, is there any chance not to enter the cycle of crash-recovery? I find it really exhausting. Since I have very limited interoception, I often don’t pick up on the signals of my body that tell me that it’s time to stop.

    • @micahmarshall5232
      @micahmarshall5232 10 месяцев назад

      Hi Christian! My body’s interception is bad too. Have you ever thought of scheduling the times where you have to crash during the day? I’ve designated drive times as times for me to go “zombie mode.” There are at least two 30 minute drives in my workday, so I always get one hour of doing absolutely nothing, which gives me the reset I need to excel in the day.

  • @agrotta1650
    @agrotta1650 2 года назад +2

    I struggle with burnout so badly that I cannot or very rarely am able to finish a project that I started and was excited about. Thank you for speaking on this and not on talking points and around it and then never actually getting into it.

  • @shawnaford5540
    @shawnaford5540 2 года назад +1

    This is interesting as I just discovered my autism from dealing with treatment resistant depression and yet the burnout has continued for years where I only have useful energy for 1-2 hours a day. This includes play or work so when does burnout cross into chronic fatigue?
    Looking forward to reading Brene Brown’s book.
    This past year I started taking weekends “off”. This is one way to break the habit of pushing until I drop.

  • @teganflyman5352
    @teganflyman5352 Год назад

    Thank you so much for this

  • @gilliancampbell7731
    @gilliancampbell7731 2 года назад +1

    From the example given at the end though Paul, I have a question..how do you stop the "world from happening between the Wednesday and the Monday" when you have used all your energy and are crashing, rejuvenating and recovering. We all need balance but how do you get the world to fall into the plan? How do you make the important stuff requiring that immediate attention wait until the Monday?

  • @Stacey1981
    @Stacey1981 6 месяцев назад

    Very helpful 😊

  • @frawldog
    @frawldog 2 года назад

    ❤️

  • @funkymonkey8777
    @funkymonkey8777 9 месяцев назад

    ❤❤❤

  • @GefenMaman
    @GefenMaman 8 месяцев назад

    This is me now

  • @tabuleirocmd
    @tabuleirocmd Год назад

    Thank You!!!

  • @gkirmathal
    @gkirmathal 2 года назад +1

    Could this be applied to a recovery strategy for the boreout type of burnout as well?
    For me I'm aware boreout came from not being in a jobs that stimulated ones (intellectual) interests in a positive way, be it due to duties being below ones capabilities, far outside ones life interests or even having no leveled intellectual connections with colleagues. In my experience (was) there is a relation to a sensitivity for depression as well, out of which I got my diagnoses a few years ago.
    It's that combination that makes this a fascinating topic to me, as hearing/reading other peoples stories of how they've grown to mitigate their challenges from which I can piece together insights how to deal with similar challenges.
    There is one thing I do wonder about related to this video's topic as well. A noticeable decline in available (mental & physical) energy, or recovery rate, after having gone through such a life event i mentioned. This is still a thing of worry, as I'm in the process of getting back to a payed job and contemplating getting some necessary education later in life.

  • @LuminousKugelblitz
    @LuminousKugelblitz 2 года назад +1

    I would like add something. Whenever I try to work/study during my burnout process I start to develop chest pain. It's not like something sharp but numb discomfort. As soon as I stop working I feel bit comfortable and start to feel better. Does anyone else experienced this? .

    • @jamierobinson9097
      @jamierobinson9097 2 года назад +1

      Oh jeez! Thanks for pointing this out!! Is it on your left side? Sometimes I worry it will be a heart attack :-0 I’ve now got a mega cold coming as I’m burnt out

    • @LuminousKugelblitz
      @LuminousKugelblitz 2 года назад +1

      @@jamierobinson9097
      Yes pal It's on left side, and I'm Super worried about these things :"(

    • @jamierobinson9097
      @jamierobinson9097 2 года назад

      @@LuminousKugelblitz how strange these affect us….. I was on a mega hyper focus to finish a course I was doing m…. The fella is right once we hyper focus we can’t stop!

  • @doggingrun
    @doggingrun 2 года назад +1

    Amazingly, I realized that I've known this for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a young kid, I've always demanded my "playtime," long before I knew anything about autism, or burnout, or anything like that.

    • @joycebrewer4150
      @joycebrewer4150 2 года назад

      Not diagnosed until late 50s yet I recall taking an hour after riding the bus home, to watch a favorite kid tv program,, before tackling homework.

  • @yasmeenamzk
    @yasmeenamzk Год назад

    Hold on - I swear I remember this channel being at only 10k subscribers or something close, when did 100-200k happen!?! I am so confused!

  • @wonderwoman7304
    @wonderwoman7304 Год назад

    Omg. I started doing "mini-burnouts" before I found out why I was having burnouts. I even plan my burnout.

  • @elinamakela8435
    @elinamakela8435 Год назад

    I now work at school with children aged 6. Playing boardgames, charades and games, coming up with riddles, laughing and just standing outdoors watching children play is great for my nervous system (despite the stimulus). You have to switch your brain into a different mode, be creative, improvise, and of course laugh and give hugs. I work part time while studying and I feel like this kind of work is the perfect antidote for all the wounding up studying causes.

  • @catcraddle65
    @catcraddle65 2 года назад +1

    ❤️

  • @michaelfreydberg4619
    @michaelfreydberg4619 Год назад

    I work a lot of hours. And have a roommate. It’s hard for me to get good alone time. I wish I had that. But one “play” thing I found I need to do, is make silly cartoons on my phone and send them to people. Sometimes I’ll do that sitting in the car by myself. It’s one of my hobbies.

  • @alanbalfour5403
    @alanbalfour5403 Год назад

    Hi Paul, Ive just started watching your videos and its helping me understand Asbergers. I have a 36 year old son who is not diagnosed and has lived away from home since he was 18. I strongly believe he has High Functioning Autism that is affecting his communication and relationships in particular. I think I recently witnessed him burnout so am on a quick learning curve to learn more about what I think he is going through. I'm not sure if he is willing to seek professional help as yet. He is very clever and tends to research and solve his own issues. Don't think he can do that though in this case.

  • @nataliefoxmartin9764
    @nataliefoxmartin9764 2 года назад

    I am in burnout right now from being overworked and I’ve had two meetings with work over the course of the year, one to say it was coming, and one to say I was in it. Didn’t help a thing. I told them I was in burnout at the beginning of August and before the end of August they had me work 190 hours in 11 days. I’m literally writing something right now to take to the director along with a note from my midwife OH YEAH because I’m almost six months pregnant, something they’ve known since May 🙄 so this video is perfect right now.
    Edit: This routine is exactly what I do now!! I have even moved my work week around so I can permanently have 3-4 days off (depending how much overtime I want to work) leaving myself 1-2 days for appointments, errands, cleaning and socializing, and 1-2 days for crashing and recovery. If I need to sleep all day, I do it. If I need to be mindless and play video games, I’m gonna do it without guilt. Then some weeks I load up my days off, like with the above 11 days, (not that I really had an option 🙄) I knew I would get through it okay because I had only been overloading myself for a few weeks and that I would eventually get a break after where I would have recovery time. I had to bring a client two states away for surgery and had to stay with him for three days, and of course it was on 3 of my normal 4 days off. But in the weeks before and this past week after, I had allotted myself three days off and I rested ALL THE DAYS without guilt, because I knew I had this trip coming. And then NOTHING went as planned of course, but I was able to handle it, even in burnout, because I have had this same routine for long enough now for it to be effective. Not to say I didn’t have a MAJOR meltdown that lasted FOREVER literally the SECOND I punched out after the end of the 190 hours lol, but I was able to go home and recover for or three days.

  • @HhhhgftrVvvvjjh
    @HhhhgftrVvvvjjh Год назад

    Thank you for your video’s! They really help me out🌺 Bless you

  • @magdamusic1232
    @magdamusic1232 2 года назад

    I use music and other creative projects for my playtime. I need it badly because in play I learn about myself and the world,like a child playing.
    But in order to have the energy for that I need to rest. Rest for me can be solving puzzles, watching something that's not too annoying, window shopping on the internet, knitting socks, etc. And I need to be alone. But when life is too much, the job is too much, my family too depending and I can't get the alone time I need. Then it's easy to get stuck in the resting activities and they become toxic. That's when meltdowns occur for me.
    I think work-life balance is especially crucial for autistic people and it's important recognise your needs and be true to them in order to live your life. Don't compare yourself with others. Be true to yourself.

  • @NormyTres
    @NormyTres Год назад

    This explains what I've been doing, and the crucial missing component of why my annual leave (which I'm on now) isn't being as rejuvenating as I was hoping it would be - I'm still in crash mode! Time to play!

  • @Alastair_Freebird
    @Alastair_Freebird 2 года назад

    Helpful thank you!

  • @brunosco
    @brunosco Год назад

    Very useful approach indeed, but you present it as if life was all about work and as if spending time doing what we want and being with people (the play time) was just a tool to be more productive. I’d flip it around and say that the main thing is enjoying life, doing what we want, share with others, be with loved ones, play and contribute to the world with our gifts, while work is just the tool to sustain ourselves financially, even if it takes about 40 hours a week (which is not even half of our awake time). We’re humans, not robots.

  • @mooncupcake_
    @mooncupcake_ Год назад

    I love this! But I don’t know how it works with full time employment 😭

  • @emmettobrian1874
    @emmettobrian1874 2 года назад

    Interesting, I almost entirely recharge with play. I don't have a down time like napping (but I've always prioritized 8 hrs of sleep) but I spend a good chunk of time with hobbies (blacksmithing, metal casting and I just finished a new novel!) I'll even burn out on my hobbies and cycle in and out of them to rejuvenate. I always have at least 3 projects that I'm working on so I can step away from one and pick up another.

  • @kimberlydonaldson4904
    @kimberlydonaldson4904 Год назад

    Thank you! I feel seen and validated after hearing this.

  • @arasharfa
    @arasharfa 2 года назад

    I never feel recovered. play feels like work to me, i don't know how to get outof that

  • @cory99998
    @cory99998 Год назад

    I believed I had bipolar disorder for such a long time because of this

  • @ellamacnish6334
    @ellamacnish6334 2 года назад

    Thanks for sharing, I love this video and would be keen to hear updates on your journey using this strategy

  • @zoegingrich5273
    @zoegingrich5273 2 года назад

    It would be nice to be able to do that, I like the idea, but I don't see how this is practical for most people to implement.

  • @jhayalexander8982
    @jhayalexander8982 2 года назад

    Wow! This is me to a 'tee'. I see I'm doing all of this. It becomes more and more prevalent. Thank you for helping.

  • @Eduisit
    @Eduisit 2 года назад

    Thank you for your hard work and brilliant insights and videos. Any thoughts on how I can work these ideas into my life if I work and have two kids? I am a teacher and I work full time, so I can’t take a few days off multiple times a year. I could change careers, but then what would I do?

  • @EmberShadowtempest
    @EmberShadowtempest 2 года назад

    This was really useful to me. I've struggled with burn out so much. Picked up the book as well. I hope I can gleen some more insights from it. Thank you.

  • @bernadettesavage4786
    @bernadettesavage4786 2 года назад

    Awesome video. You made me realise that injecting moments of play through out each day has been improving my quality of life to! I spontaneously went to a beautiful creek on sunset and made a little fire to sit by and do nothing for a bit. Also putting soothing music on as the first sensory input in the morning when I open my eyes and no iphone scrolling allowed when I first wake up. Also going to bed earlier so I have time to calm down for sleep. It takes me up to two hours after being in a focused state to wind down for sleep! 🙄😂 Also play time during the day can just be some creativity with food during lunch time or a new sports challenge during the day to break up the focused activity. I started skate boarding.

  • @stuartrushworth5487
    @stuartrushworth5487 2 года назад

    Thank you for making this video. I have been using the nap approach. About a year ago I read that a short nap of 15 mins when I am feeling blocked and tense prevents a more serious episode later in the day. I see the problem as a reservoir of information I cannot process that steadily deepens. A nap at a tipping-point leads to a much easier time in the evenings, when previously I found myself very anxious and upset due to problems around socially decoding. Sometimes without the nap at the right time I would pace around rooms. I would become physically more rigid and I felt I could not break through my own thoughts. When this happens I know that I need to lie down or else I will face a harder time later on. With working I find I am still on a cycle of work and crash, but I think I can moderate the crash with what I have described. Thank you again for making this video. The issue of blockages and barriers is something that is very relevant to my life.

  • @polyesterbebe
    @polyesterbebe 2 года назад

    algorithm

  • @PlayingGames.itsMEdexter
    @PlayingGames.itsMEdexter 2 года назад +5

    First comment I am... Hi. 👽👍

    • @acid-mask
      @acid-mask 2 года назад +1

      Hi how are you right now? 🍃

  • @ryn2844
    @ryn2844 2 года назад

    honestly the excel spreadsheet for play is the most relatable thing about this, and that's saying something because the rest is super relatable too.

  • @au9parsec
    @au9parsec 2 года назад

    That's why I take one week off from working out every month 🐿️

  • @AggroPhene
    @AggroPhene 2 года назад

    ah, so i should have enough energy to apply to my rest period, and be proud of being rested for the next task.

  • @OliverSaavedraEstrada
    @OliverSaavedraEstrada 2 года назад

    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...