I’m going to add my 2 cents. Aside from the fact that you barely had a chance to catch your breath from dealing with the pandemic as you made a move, just as you were getting great momentum, your brother passed away. It was quite the hit. Then a reset occurs and now, you were dealt with another very large loss, this year, with your mother’s passing. You also cannot compare your home to a typical home as you home school and have double or triple supplies for those needs. So, give yourself a lot of Grace through the process of it all and compare yourself to where you came from. Because, wow. I’m so encouraged and motivated by what you have accomplished.
The way it works in my home is everything has a place so when I do a ‘reset’ it has a home to go to. But that doesn’t mean it has to make it back there every second of every day. Also , I try to keep my inventory low enough that it doesn’t get too messy when things aren’t in their place.
My dad always said a home is meant to be lived in. I think that set us all free to just enjoy life! Our house was generally picked up but we didn't obsess about it. We were comfortable.
The way we dealt with library books is we left them all over the house because even if they read them they might want to again. But we made a list starting with the date due of what we brought home and when we were going back we went around and found them all and checked them off the list. One of my daughters took over that task, she always enjoyed making the list and "being the librarian." I bet if you asked your kids one of them would love to be the librarian.
Your honesty is SO REFRESHING and relatable!!! It’s like hearing the struggles, frustrations and conversations I have with myself in my own head 😓 I can’t thank you enough 🙏🏻
You have four young, active, creative children, you homeschool, and your children are in a large variety of activities outside the home. I hear in your voice and in your words the frustration and bewilderment as a mom for why you can't make things work like you want them to work. I remember this too well from when my kids were little. My advice is to continue to keep things as simple as possible, but to also embrace the season you are in rather than fight it. There is beauty in this stage even with all the messes. With most of my kids grown and out of the house, my house stays neat, but I dont get to do daily life with them. I now get to embrace this season of my life because there is good here, too.
Erica you give an interesting perspective on reasons for not cleaning things up right away. Personally, I think the main reason is like you said: 1. People just have too much stuff (because it has accumulated over time, or is stuff people have been given by others) ; or 2. People have shopping addiction they are not being real about and dealing with. I also agree with you that it is not always possible to put things away immediately. However, I would suggest that still doesn’t mean that the stuff has to look messy even if it isn’t where it should be. I also agree that tidiness is a mindset that takes practice and diligence. A suggestion for your library book situation is to have a narrow bin by each child’s bed where the library books they are currently reading during the day or at night can be stored and easily accessed. Then a bin on top of your shoe cabinet by your front door where all the accumulated library book returnables are placed until you’re ready to take them back to the library. Make that a designated spot and don’t allow anything else to accumulate on that cabinet. This is because cabinets by front doors often become drop off clutter traps where we dump stuff after immediately coming into the house and then don’t deal with right away. Clutter traps usually, in my experience, happen because we are in either in a ‘procrastinating or evading’ mindset. When we realise this then we can choose whether we change that mindset or not.
You said maybe there's too much stuff and maybe there isn't. What I have found for myself from everything in my past there's always too much stuff. I always think I need more than I actually need. Whether it's packing for a trip I take too much or buying food for company coming over it's usually too much. Whether it's clothes or shoes or books or whatever. For me every time it is too much and I can always cut back.😊❤
I lost my husband of 44 years, my house is full of his belongings, we had a business together. Give yourself times it takes time and a lot of emotions greave and live day sorry for my spelling. I am english but I live in Spain. I listen to your videos everytime and they inspire me xx
Give yourself credit: you have created a lovely, zen home/environment for your 3 curious, creative, and cooperative children. As the parent, you might recognize when messes have reached a point where they might distract their focus or abilities (or yours) and can do exactly what you do - decide to tidy or organize or decluttering some. Meanwhile (I have admired from the start how) you have established a loving and comfortable home. Tidy is only one of the goals, Erica. You are crushing at so many others!!! You should be very proud!! ❤️
I’m so glad someone finally has addressed the real issues with decluttering. I always start off good and motivated and then as time passes I get unmotivated to finish projects. I’m noticing as I get older (48) I just don’t have the energy or motivation or patience to finish things and then I have a whole bunch of unfinished projects that frustrates me and my husband. Example: I started painting my kitchen about 6 years ago and I’m still not finished and now I have such bad arthritis in my hands it hurts to hold a paint brush.
This is why I'm part-time Swedish Death Cleaning at 50. My mobility is starting to be affected and its a wake up call that all the stuff in the attic needs to be dealt with NOW, maybe even yesterday.
Hugs girl! I like you’re new Logo! Idea for library. Books- what if you just put one of those BIG bright 4x6 post it notes sticking out from inside back cover. Then when it’s time to return them you only have to look for the books with the bright post its, visual for you and the kids. You only have to corral them on the day you’re going to the library
I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who constantly has to reassess things. Not only do the things in our house ebb and flow, so do our seasons of life. It's a never ending challenge to maintain a peaceful, uncluttered home. In the process, I'm learning to accept that the task is never finished but that it doesn't need perfection either. ☀️
Younger women just need to relax their expectations, knowing that it is a problem that solves itself when your children live with someone else. When you no longer have a house full of toys and the books are only yours and small people are not snacking all day and dropping crumbs on the floor your housekeeping will no longer be such a focus of your life.
Every family is unique. I think that you are doing a great job. Its better to have healthy happy family life. I wish I had spent more time just enjoying my children than worrying about keeping a spotless home. Take it from me, enjoy the children while you can. They grow up so fast.
I'm glad that you're still keeping the flow of things going, especially as the kids are growing and developing-great job!👍👍 And have a great Labor day weekend!🎉🎉🎆🎆🤗
I absolutely love how genuine your videos are. I struggle with anxiety when my home is cluttered. Your videos keep me motivated to not have a “perfect” home, but to have a home that we as a family are happy to live in. It is not Pinterest perfect but it is clean and cozy. We have homes for things and we have decluttered a lot and that is an ongoing process for us as well. Life is messy and sometimes that reflects in our homes. We need to give ourselves grace day to day. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly.
Erica, how about having a bin/basket in EACH room that books are read in, that is specifically for library books. (Even put a label on them) That is their home and each time you're done reading, they get returned to the bin in that room. When you go to collect them on library day, you only have to go get them from each bin. Hope this helps! Great video!
I could be disappointing a little bit when we realized that all this is true but it is also the way to feel freedom a be happy with things like there are.😊
Yeah those blanket organization things don't fit me a lot of the times either. I have ADHD and struggle with thing that add to my homes messiness. Executive Function touches every area of one slice and when you have ADHD your executive functions are effected in different ways. And everyone has their own combos of how they struggle. I my self struggle with time blindness, consistency, indecision, poor working memory, emotional regulation issues which can often throw off my focus which is already doing its own thing. Under standing the way my brain works and finding people with similar brains for me has been huge in helping me. Spaces get recluttered or life happens and things need reset or revisited when they don't work or stop working. I need broad categories and simple and visual. I am better at over hauling then maintaining. I celebrate any progress. I am kinder to myself when things inevitably crumble around me. And I also know I can get back to where I need to be because I have been there before. I noticed my patterns of over whelm. I noticed what works and what doesn't. I give myself grace. And fresh restarts.
Yep, life is just like that. It truly is a constant case of tidying, simply keeping ahead of "it" as best we can. Not necessarily perfect, but a home that's lived in, comfortable, the family's place of safety, security, acceptance. You have found your way out of chaos, and into peace. Great job!
This is a problem that solves itself when children move out. Yours is compounded because you home school and have to keep a lot of extra things. I always rest the house when my kids were in school and you can't do that. As my Mother used to say just keep it clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.
Your home is filled with love and a happy family. Stuff is just stuff and I'm sure you're all too aware of how insignificant it is after the losses you've suffered. I don't typically love sit down and chat videos but I enjoy the ones you do because you're so relatable and you presented some new perspectives (on what I assumed were hard and fast rules) so the content was really interesting too.
I can really relate to your statements about energy and keeping things in order. My lifestyle doesn't ebb and flow, but my energy sure does. It is a constant struggle to keep from feeling guilty when I have made a plan, and then don't have the energy to do it. I have also had to accept that my standards for myself were too high for someone working a full-time job. My grandmother's house was always clean and neat, but she did not work outside the home.
I always love your honesty Erica. I think you truly embrace creative learning in your home and like you said you don’t always mind the mess. Looking back, it seemed like the mess from your storage boxes, attic, basement is what was stressing. Your kids being creative or you and your husband isn’t as stressful because you all use the things you enjoy and you live! I’m not sure if you ever took the clutter bug test, but I’m thinking you are a butterfly. I’m a ladybug do all the open shelves showing things is stressful for me, but it is still organized and not stressful for a butterfly! Homes too sparse or always look like they are staged for selling aren’t welcoming and create a different kind of stress for me!
These are principles that I live by….. although it was a challenge when raising my children. Two of them were able to grasp the concept and continue to be able to adhere to it. Then there is the third one. I often thought in spite of a high IQ, she just never could get it. For years I tried to figure it out, and how to help her. For me I’m empty nested, decluttered, organized and everything stays that way. I enjoy your channel and look forward to every new video. I’ve followed you from the beginning when you moved into your house.😊
Loved this! As I’m looking at my own clutter hotspots that proliferate over time. Time again to tame the beast. And yes, it takes way less time than when I first started. Keep going, with gentle loving kindness and compassion, and take breaks when we need them. Life is a journey, not a sprint. 🕊🌿🌷✨💕
I am so glad to hear you good yourself and your family mercy and Grace to do things in your own time. You have been through so much grief affects absolutely everything. I went through a period of not feeling well physically and I am feeling back to normal and great now but during that time I had to just let things go. I absolutely could not do it and I had to let that be okay. Feeling is more important than anything and having spiritual mental and physical well-being is more important than a tidy house.
I never consider decluttering a waste of time…..but when it takes longer than I anticipate (which is pretty much always) I end up wondering if it ends up as a waste of time because I do value other things more and don’t get to those things as often as I want….like reading the Bible honestly and studying it. This world is not my home and I want to declutter so that I can focus more on important things but at the same time because this world is not my home I ask myself why I spend so much time on my physical home than I do my temple……I go back and forth with how much I value decluttering because it is helpful but yet staying in the word of God is eternally helpful. And I don’t want to get swallowed up in decluttering, it may be my personality making decluttering a much longer process though.
my mom had low energy from health issues. she didnt nag. occasionally as i got older she asked for me to make my bed, but as far as picking up after myself. if i didnt put it away, she would just throw it out while i was at school. as i guess i was a different kid than others, i never missed those things she threw out.
Clutter is stuff we have and don’t use.Too much stuff is when we have 40 mugs and we aren’t a cafe . I don’t have a place for everything because I live in a very small pensioner bungalow in England .No cupboards/closets No garage no cellar/basement.I only have what I need . I really believe we just can’t help spending. Who just has enough .If I had a bigger home maybe I would fill with stuff I don need .
Dear Erica, you have gone a long way since I found your channel, I think we never end this journey, life is always changing and we have to accommodate to it, you have 3 children and that is a lot of daily work, be kind to yourself you are doing grate, love from Perú
I love this video! We are not all built the same. We don’t all have the same personalities, health, energy, mindset, upbringing, lifestyle ect… all these things makes everyone handle every situation differently. Some people’s weaknesses are another’s strengths and vise versa. What I have figured is I have to stop trying to set my standards to other people standards and what I think or other people think is “normal” or “I should be able to do this” and set my own. Do I do my dishes everyday? Nope. Do I wish I would lol yes I do but the truth is I don’t have the energy to do all the things. I set my priorities and those are my health, my children and homeschool. Then the house. If I have to half do something or put it off later then I do. I no longer beat myself up anymore. I do what’s best for me and I am loving that you’re doing the same. This whole “your house needs to be spotless” way of thinking just isn’t working. You’re prioritizing what’s most important and that’s what makes you an amazing mom ♥️ that’s the most important thing in the world!
I so enjoy your videos, so real. I am a Nana now so don’t have children at home anymore but I continue to try to declutter. I actually do not own a lot of stuff anymore as I have been decluttering for a few years now. I wish I had documented it along the way also just to look back and see the change. Even so, I continue to try to get rid of more. I think at times I think I need to get rid of more only because I watch so many declutter videos. I don’t read as much as I should but I have a lot of books, well maybe about 5 shelves worth of books, but because I am not reading them I keep think I have to get rid of them. I haven’t yet because I also like the look of books for some reason and I have that someday thought. Today I will work on clothes again though because I again have too much. What do you do about the things that you don’t actually use right now but want anyway? Like for me, my books.
This is the very thing I've been thinking about this week - why not just do it now? But then I try to push to do just that and I end up dropping something on the floor, or bump myself or don't do it right. I like to corral then go back and do the one ty[e of task at the one time - I guess I just sometimes do not have the necessary bandwidth to do the job properly and that's okay. It doesn't mean I'm a failure and it won't get done, and that very thinking of failing isn't going to help anything! Wrestle that thinking to the ground and tell it to mind its business 😊
Hi Erihca. Loved your points. While watching the video, your shelves behind you caught my attention. Have you considered putting a shelf by each child's desk? They could have the low shelves and you and the hubby can have the upper
I profit from the everything in its place extremely. I actually found places for current projects, gifts, borrowed things (including library books) etc. Since I have easy accessible organization it is not always tidy but tidying is very easy and quick. But I am bad at „don’t put it down, put it away.“ I tend to let my coat or bag fall somewhere and put it away later. Or forget about it.
Where your coat and bag fall maybe where they belong. Make this the drop zone/launch pad. My extra kitchen chair holds my sweater/coat, office bag/purse and the end of the table for keys and lunch bag. When multiple people visit, those items need to find a temporary home until later.
@@eileenlehonnyberg1576 ah, not a solution. I actually let it fall on the floor and I do not live alone. If I let it there someone falls over it. But in general you are right. Normally I do it exactly this way (that's the reason why I have a box for keys on my bookshelf).
Wonderful perspectives, thank you so much! Im always finding myself tormented by this, that, and the other common wisdom and questioning why does this not work for me (at this time, in our current circumstances)... And is it absolutely correct that it "SHOULD" work for me? And then I find out why and that, no, it doesnt have to work for me. Your perspectives were wonderful to hear. 🧡
I apply those rules HOWEVER, I am the only person in my space, and I don't work. I have the time and 'bandwidth' to apply them. That said, they cannot always be applied, even by me. I love to ensure that all dishes are clean by the end of the day, if not actually put away, but a recent health issue makes that challenging at the moment. Do I beat myself up? No. I just acknowledge that my home is not perfect at present. Every home and person is different and there's an old adage that says, 'rules are made to be broken'. Rules can be helpful, but sometimes life just happens.
I just do a big tidy once a day. Some things like putting dishes into the sink after a meal I do them right away but other things end up out until the next day. I find that if I’m constantly tidying the whole day it gets annoying and I feel like I’m just cleaning all day. Of course your life is different since you have kids and homeschool but just wanted to share
Can you add a basket or bag on each floor or in the rooms that library books are taken? Even if you get one of those hooks you hang on the back of a door in those areas so there is a place to put them when they are not in hands? We had a similar situation when we were homeschooling, but there was only 1 kiddo and 1 floor of a home to maintain so it wasn't as complicated for our home. Good luck finding something that works for your family!
Hi there sweetie pie hope you are well just take one day at time one thoght with the books and stuff at your front door maybe a pretty basket maybe a good idea love from Eugenie your friend xxx 💟🏡🤞💪
I watched your early videos and they related to my life and I watched you and I loved your way of putting forwards everything, but you are drifting away from that. Maybe that is something to do with youtube
You are in the busiest season of life...don't be so hard on yourself. You care about organization and sometimes that's enough, "fighting the good fight" there's another saying for you.....
I thin you are way to hard on yourself. You were single parent that was homeschooling little kids (While your husband was serving). You went trough a few homes, while children grew. You are dealing with everything you together own, while in a pandemic. And your children keep changing the game. And if that were not enough, you have seriously lost family. Which is really heavy and takes a lot of energy just to process. (In these 5 years i have been watching most of what you shared. I went from devastated while doing isci with only miscarrying to involuntary childless, to 23 weeks pregnant spontaneously, to unable to walk for 4 months after a csection, to a sahm (Got sacked for being unable to walk) with a crybaby that could cry up to 20 hours a day, while my mom died of Lungcancer, being unable to walk for another 9 months after breaking my ankle, to having my dad marry again. While people were busy with a pandemic. Only now my son is turning 4 and he finally plays for 10 to 15 minutes i have my feeling and energy catching up on my after all that. I can make the first floor presentable in 20 minutes and that means we are in a great place, both amountwise and mentally)
I love your videos so much. You might have already tried it but a thought I had while you talked about library books in your house: instead of a home for the books all the time rather maybe try an alarm on your phone that goes off at the needed frequency (weekly/biweekly) and then everyone quickly gathers the books that need to go back and bring them to the shelf or basket you have by the door? Sometimes the home helps, but I find my alarm the night before library day is invaluable.
I’m going to add my 2 cents. Aside from the fact that you barely had a chance to catch your breath from dealing with the pandemic as you made a move, just as you were getting great momentum, your brother passed away. It was quite the hit. Then a reset occurs and now, you were dealt with another very large loss, this year, with your mother’s passing. You also cannot compare your home to a typical home as you home school and have double or triple supplies for those needs. So, give yourself a lot of Grace through the process of it all and compare yourself to where you came from. Because, wow. I’m so encouraged and motivated by what you have accomplished.
The way it works in my home is everything has a place so when I do a ‘reset’ it has a home to go to. But that doesn’t mean it has to make it back there every second of every day. Also , I try to keep my inventory low enough that it doesn’t get too messy when things aren’t in their place.
My dad always said a home is meant to be lived in. I think that set us all free to just enjoy life! Our house was generally picked up but we didn't obsess about it. We were comfortable.
I agree but items and stuff wasn’t as much back then either
"A home is meant to be lived in" is a wonderful motto.
I also like, "A home is not a museum."
The way we dealt with library books is we left them all over the house because even if they read them they might want to again. But we made a list starting with the date due of what we brought home and when we were going back we went around and found them all and checked them off the list. One of my daughters took over that task, she always enjoyed making the list and "being the librarian." I bet if you asked your kids one of them would love to be the librarian.
I was going to suggest the same thing :)
Walmart sells book bins right now. I got one it’s helping us out a lot.
My heart does a little skip every day that you post a video! I get so happy. You are my favorite!! ❤️
Your honesty is SO REFRESHING and relatable!!! It’s like hearing the struggles, frustrations and conversations I have with myself in my own head 😓 I can’t thank you enough 🙏🏻
Oh good!! It’s tough sometimes and I get discouraged when I see perfectly minimalist spaces.
You have four young, active, creative children, you homeschool, and your children are in a large variety of activities outside the home. I hear in your voice and in your words the frustration and bewilderment as a mom for why you can't make things work like you want them to work. I remember this too well from when my kids were little. My advice is to continue to keep things as simple as possible, but to also embrace the season you are in rather than fight it. There is beauty in this stage even with all the messes. With most of my kids grown and out of the house, my house stays neat, but I dont get to do daily life with them. I now get to embrace this season of my life because there is good here, too.
Erica you give an interesting perspective on reasons for not cleaning things up right away. Personally, I think the main reason is like you said: 1. People just have too much stuff (because it has accumulated over time, or is stuff people have been given by others) ; or 2. People have shopping addiction they are not being real about and dealing with. I also agree with you that it is not always possible to put things away immediately. However, I would suggest that still doesn’t mean that the stuff has to look messy even if it isn’t where it should be. I also agree that tidiness is a mindset that takes practice and diligence. A suggestion for your library book situation is to have a narrow bin by each child’s bed where the library books they are currently reading during the day or at night can be stored and easily accessed. Then a bin on top of your shoe cabinet by your front door where all the accumulated library book returnables are placed until you’re ready to take them back to the library. Make that a designated spot and don’t allow anything else to accumulate on that cabinet. This is because cabinets by front doors often become drop off clutter traps where we dump stuff after immediately coming into the house and then don’t deal with right away. Clutter traps usually, in my experience, happen because we are in either in a ‘procrastinating or evading’ mindset. When we realise this then we can choose whether we change that mindset or not.
You said maybe there's too much stuff and maybe there isn't. What I have found for myself from everything in my past there's always too much stuff. I always think I need more than I actually need. Whether it's packing for a trip I take too much or buying food for company coming over it's usually too much. Whether it's clothes or shoes or books or whatever. For me every time it is too much and I can always cut back.😊❤
Erica, you’re an ACE in sharing both your successes ánd your frustrations. It’s so helpful! Thank you!!!
Thanks! I get nervous about sharing the fails.
When you declutter and have a place for everything, the messes aren't so overwhelming. Thank you for your decluttering videos!
I lost my husband of 44 years, my house is full of his belongings, we had a business together. Give yourself times it takes time and a lot of emotions greave and live day sorry for my spelling. I am english but I live in Spain. I listen to your videos everytime and they inspire me xx
Sorry for your loss. Be gentle and kind with yourself too. 🙏💐
Give yourself credit: you have created a lovely, zen home/environment for your 3 curious, creative, and cooperative children. As the parent, you might recognize when messes have reached a point where they might distract their focus or abilities (or yours) and can do exactly what you do - decide to tidy or organize or decluttering some. Meanwhile (I have admired from the start how) you have established a loving and comfortable home. Tidy is only one of the goals, Erica. You are crushing at so many others!!! You should be very proud!! ❤️
I’m so glad someone finally has addressed the real issues with decluttering. I always start off good and motivated and then as time passes I get unmotivated to finish projects. I’m noticing as I get older (48) I just don’t have the energy or motivation or patience to finish things and then I have a whole bunch of unfinished projects that frustrates me and my husband. Example: I started painting my kitchen about 6 years ago and I’m still not finished and now I have such bad arthritis in my hands it hurts to hold a paint brush.
☀Yes!!☀
This is why I'm part-time Swedish Death Cleaning at 50. My mobility is starting to be affected and its a wake up call that all the stuff in the attic needs to be dealt with NOW, maybe even yesterday.
Hugs girl! I like you’re new Logo! Idea for library. Books- what if you just put one of those BIG bright 4x6 post it notes sticking out from inside back cover. Then when it’s time to return them you only have to look for the books with the bright post its, visual for you and the kids. You only have to corral them on the day you’re going to the library
This video was balm to my soul. 💜 You're teaching me to be kinder to myself, thank you. 🌻🍄
I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who constantly has to reassess things. Not only do the things in our house ebb and flow, so do our seasons of life. It's a never ending challenge to maintain a peaceful, uncluttered home. In the process, I'm learning to accept that the task is never finished but that it doesn't need perfection either. ☀️
It’s such a challenge isn’t it!? Letting go of perfection is tough.
Younger women just need to relax their expectations, knowing that it is a problem that solves itself when your children live with someone else. When you no longer have a house full of toys and the books are only yours and small people are not snacking all day and dropping crumbs on the floor your housekeeping will no longer be such a focus of your life.
Every family is unique. I think that you are doing a great job. Its better to have healthy happy family life.
I wish I had spent more time just enjoying my children than worrying about keeping a spotless home.
Take it from me, enjoy the children while you can. They grow up so fast.
I'm glad that you're still keeping the flow of things going, especially as the kids are growing and developing-great job!👍👍 And have a great Labor day weekend!🎉🎉🎆🎆🤗
Well spoken...thank you for expressing your thoughts...for being honest...for sharing your journey.
I absolutely love how genuine your videos are. I struggle with anxiety when my home is cluttered. Your videos keep me motivated to not have a “perfect” home, but to have a home that we as a family are happy to live in. It is not Pinterest perfect but it is clean and cozy. We have homes for things and we have decluttered a lot and that is an ongoing process for us as well. Life is messy and sometimes that reflects in our homes. We need to give ourselves grace day to day. Thank you for sharing your journey so openly.
I kinda dont believe its been that long already! Wow!
My library always gave a receipt with the due dates. I would hang that up and check off books as I returned them.
Erica, how about having a bin/basket in EACH room that books are read in, that is specifically for library books. (Even put a label on them) That is their home and each time you're done reading, they get returned to the bin in that room. When you go to collect them on library day, you only have to go get them from each bin. Hope this helps! Great video!
This channel was suggested to me, and I am so happy it was❤new subscriber here❤
I could be disappointing a little bit when we realized that all this is true but it is also the way to feel freedom a be happy with things like there are.😊
Yeah those blanket organization things don't fit me a lot of the times either. I have ADHD and struggle with thing that add to my homes messiness. Executive Function touches every area of one slice and when you have ADHD your executive functions are effected in different ways. And everyone has their own combos of how they struggle. I my self struggle with time blindness, consistency, indecision, poor working memory, emotional regulation issues which can often throw off my focus which is already doing its own thing. Under standing the way my brain works and finding people with similar brains for me has been huge in helping me. Spaces get recluttered or life happens and things need reset or revisited when they don't work or stop working. I need broad categories and simple and visual. I am better at over hauling then maintaining. I celebrate any progress. I am kinder to myself when things inevitably crumble around me. And I also know I can get back to where I need to be because I have been there before. I noticed my patterns of over whelm. I noticed what works and what doesn't. I give myself grace. And fresh restarts.
Yep, life is just like that. It truly is a constant case of tidying, simply keeping ahead of "it" as best we can. Not necessarily perfect, but a home that's lived in, comfortable, the family's place of safety, security, acceptance. You have found your way out of chaos, and into peace. Great job!
This is a problem that solves itself when children move out. Yours is compounded because you home school and have to keep a lot of extra things. I always rest the house when my kids were in school and you can't do that. As my Mother used to say just keep it clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.
Erica, you are right everything does have a place and a home.
Your home is filled with love and a happy family. Stuff is just stuff and I'm sure you're all too aware of how insignificant it is after the losses you've suffered. I don't typically love sit down and chat videos but I enjoy the ones you do because you're so relatable and you presented some new perspectives (on what I assumed were hard and fast rules) so the content was really interesting too.
I can really relate to your statements about energy and keeping things in order. My lifestyle doesn't ebb and flow, but my energy sure does. It is a constant struggle to keep from feeling guilty when I have made a plan, and then don't have the energy to do it. I have also had to accept that my standards for myself were too high for someone working a full-time job. My grandmother's house was always clean and neat, but she did not work outside the home.
I always love your honesty Erica. I think you truly embrace creative learning in your home and like you said you don’t always mind the mess. Looking back, it seemed like the mess from your storage boxes, attic, basement is what was stressing. Your kids being creative or you and your husband isn’t as stressful because you all use the things you enjoy and you live! I’m not sure if you ever took the clutter bug test, but I’m thinking you are a butterfly. I’m a ladybug do all the open shelves showing things is stressful for me, but it is still organized and not stressful for a butterfly! Homes too sparse or always look like they are staged for selling aren’t welcoming and create a different kind of stress for me!
These are principles that I live by….. although it was a challenge when raising my children. Two of them were able to grasp the concept and continue to be able to adhere to it. Then there is the third one. I often thought in spite of a high IQ, she just never could get it. For years I tried to figure it out, and how to help her. For me I’m empty nested, decluttered, organized and everything stays that way.
I enjoy your channel and look forward to every new video. I’ve followed you from the beginning when you moved into your house.😊
Loved this! As I’m looking at my own clutter hotspots that proliferate over time. Time again to tame the beast. And yes, it takes way less time than when I first started. Keep going, with gentle loving kindness and compassion, and take breaks when we need them. Life is a journey, not a sprint. 🕊🌿🌷✨💕
I am so glad to hear you good yourself and your family mercy and Grace to do things in your own time. You have been through so much grief affects absolutely everything. I went through a period of not feeling well physically and I am feeling back to normal and great now but during that time I had to just let things go. I absolutely could not do it and I had to let that be okay. Feeling is more important than anything and having spiritual mental and physical well-being is more important than a tidy house.
I hear you sweet friend!
I never consider decluttering a waste of time…..but when it takes longer than I anticipate (which is pretty much always) I end up wondering if it ends up as a waste of time because I do value other things more and don’t get to those things as often as I want….like reading the Bible honestly and studying it. This world is not my home and I want to declutter so that I can focus more on important things but at the same time because this world is not my home I ask myself why I spend so much time on my physical home than I do my temple……I go back and forth with how much I value decluttering because it is helpful but yet staying in the word of God is eternally helpful. And I don’t want to get swallowed up in decluttering, it may be my personality making decluttering a much longer process though.
my mom had low energy from health issues. she didnt nag. occasionally as i got older she asked for me to make my bed, but as far as picking up after myself. if i didnt put it away, she would just throw it out while i was at school. as i guess i was a different kid than others, i never missed those things she threw out.
I'm a bit OCD because things should only have 1 home lol. More than 1 home would drive me nuts!
Clutter is stuff we have and don’t use.Too much stuff is when we have 40 mugs and we aren’t a cafe . I don’t have a place for everything because I live in a very small pensioner bungalow in England .No cupboards/closets No garage no cellar/basement.I only have what I need . I really believe we just can’t help spending.
Who just has enough .If I had a bigger home maybe I would fill with stuff I don need .
Another great video!!! You always help me put words to the way I'm feeling about making a home. ❤🌺☀😊
Dear Erica, you have gone a long way since I found your channel, I think we never end this journey, life is always changing and we have to accommodate to it, you have 3 children and that is a lot of daily work, be kind to yourself you are doing grate, love from Perú
I love this video! We are not all built the same. We don’t all have the same personalities, health, energy, mindset, upbringing, lifestyle ect… all these things makes everyone handle every situation differently. Some people’s weaknesses are another’s strengths and vise versa. What I have figured is I have to stop trying to set my standards to other people standards and what I think or other people think is “normal” or “I should be able to do this” and set my own. Do I do my dishes everyday? Nope. Do I wish I would lol yes I do but the truth is I don’t have the energy to do all the things. I set my priorities and those are my health, my children and homeschool. Then the house. If I have to half do something or put it off later then I do. I no longer beat myself up anymore. I do what’s best for me and I am loving that you’re doing the same. This whole “your house needs to be spotless” way of thinking just isn’t working. You’re prioritizing what’s most important and that’s what makes you an amazing mom ♥️ that’s the most important thing in the world!
This was so great! Thank you
I so enjoy your videos, so real. I am a Nana now so don’t have children at home anymore but I continue to try to declutter. I actually do not own a lot of stuff anymore as I have been decluttering for a few years now. I wish I had documented it along the way also just to look back and see the change. Even so, I continue to try to get rid of more. I think at times I think I need to get rid of more only because I watch so many declutter videos. I don’t read as much as I should but I have a lot of books, well maybe about 5 shelves worth of books, but because I am not reading them I keep think I have to get rid of them. I haven’t yet because I also like the look of books for some reason and I have that someday thought. Today I will work on clothes again though because I again have too much. What do you do about the things that you don’t actually use right now but want anyway? Like for me, my books.
Loving those plastic bins you use for games. Where did you buy those?
This is the very thing I've been thinking about this week - why not just do it now? But then I try to push to do just that and I end up dropping something on the floor, or bump myself or don't do it right. I like to corral then go back and do the one ty[e of task at the one time - I guess I just sometimes do not have the necessary bandwidth to do the job properly and that's okay. It doesn't mean I'm a failure and it won't get done, and that very thinking of failing isn't going to help anything! Wrestle that thinking to the ground and tell it to mind its business 😊
Hi Erihca. Loved your points. While watching the video, your shelves behind you caught my attention. Have you considered putting a shelf by each child's desk? They could have the low shelves and you and the hubby can have the upper
I profit from the everything in its place extremely. I actually found places for current projects, gifts, borrowed things (including library books) etc. Since I have easy accessible organization it is not always tidy but tidying is very easy and quick. But I am bad at „don’t put it down, put it away.“ I tend to let my coat or bag fall somewhere and put it away later. Or forget about it.
Where your coat and bag fall maybe where they belong. Make this the drop zone/launch pad. My extra kitchen chair holds my sweater/coat, office bag/purse and the end of the table for keys and lunch bag. When multiple people visit, those items need to find a temporary home until later.
@@eileenlehonnyberg1576 ah, not a solution. I actually let it fall on the floor and I do not live alone. If I let it there someone falls over it. But in general you are right. Normally I do it exactly this way (that's the reason why I have a box for keys on my bookshelf).
Wonderful perspectives, thank you so much! Im always finding myself tormented by this, that, and the other common wisdom and questioning why does this not work for me (at this time, in our current circumstances)... And is it absolutely correct that it "SHOULD" work for me? And then I find out why and that, no, it doesnt have to work for me. Your perspectives were wonderful to hear. 🧡
Can you link to the containers that hold your card games?
Sure! Here you go: amzn.to/3QssYcO
I apply those rules HOWEVER, I am the only person in my space, and I don't work. I have the time and 'bandwidth' to apply them. That said, they cannot always be applied, even by me. I love to ensure that all dishes are clean by the end of the day, if not actually put away, but a recent health issue makes that challenging at the moment. Do I beat myself up? No. I just acknowledge that my home is not perfect at present. Every home and person is different and there's an old adage that says, 'rules are made to be broken'. Rules can be helpful, but sometimes life just happens.
I just do a big tidy once a day. Some things like putting dishes into the sink after a meal I do them right away but other things end up out until the next day. I find that if I’m constantly tidying the whole day it gets annoying and I feel like I’m just cleaning all day. Of course your life is different since you have kids and homeschool but just wanted to share
Can you add a basket or bag on each floor or in the rooms that library books are taken? Even if you get one of those hooks you hang on the back of a door in those areas so there is a place to put them when they are not in hands? We had a similar situation when we were homeschooling, but there was only 1 kiddo and 1 floor of a home to maintain so it wasn't as complicated for our home. Good luck finding something that works for your family!
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Hi there sweetie pie hope you are well just take one day at time one thoght with the books and stuff at your front door maybe a pretty basket maybe a good idea love from Eugenie your friend xxx 💟🏡🤞💪
I watched your early videos and they related to my life and I watched you and I loved your way of putting forwards everything, but you are drifting away from that. Maybe that is something to do with youtube
You are in the busiest season of life...don't be so hard on yourself. You care about organization and sometimes that's enough, "fighting the good fight" there's another saying for you.....
I thin you are way to hard on yourself.
You were single parent that was homeschooling little kids (While your husband was serving). You went trough a few homes, while children grew. You are dealing with everything you together own, while in a pandemic. And your children keep changing the game. And if that were not enough, you have seriously lost family. Which is really heavy and takes a lot of energy just to process.
(In these 5 years i have been watching most of what you shared. I went from devastated while doing isci with only miscarrying to involuntary childless, to 23 weeks pregnant spontaneously, to unable to walk for 4 months after a csection, to a sahm (Got sacked for being unable to walk) with a crybaby that could cry up to 20 hours a day, while my mom died of
Lungcancer, being unable to walk for another 9 months after breaking my ankle, to having my dad marry again. While people were busy with a pandemic. Only now my son is turning 4 and he finally plays for 10 to 15 minutes i have my feeling and energy catching up on my after all that.
I can make the first floor presentable in 20 minutes and that means we are in a great place, both amountwise and mentally)
I love your videos so much. You might have already tried it but a thought I had while you talked about library books in your house: instead of a home for the books all the time rather maybe try an alarm on your phone that goes off at the needed frequency (weekly/biweekly) and then everyone quickly gathers the books that need to go back and bring them to the shelf or basket you have by the door? Sometimes the home helps, but I find my alarm the night before library day is invaluable.