Smile Through The Pain
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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Have you ever asked yourself why everyone is enjoined to see a therapist? Why it is a requirement to wear a perpetual smile on your face and lie to the world? Why everywhere you look, there is the active, intense effort to perpetuate fakeness? Perhaps you will find answers here...
I refuse to fake a smile
Like Huey Freeman. Nice.
@@SciuridaeI don't smile at children, at all. Don't like children & I sure don't want to look like a ped0 creep. I only smile at small dogs.
I don't mind smiling for people to not ruin their day but if you ruin my day then don't expect me to smile.
@@Sciuridae Nah, I don't fake smiles for kids and kids tend to make my smile.
Same. It’s not even physically possible for me. The smile wouldn’t even appear real. My fake smile looks exactly like that - fake.
Lack of empathy and distortion of truth are the hallmarks of American society.
Yes and no…
Only the pursuit was codified.
I believe it is either a displaced empathy or some bastardized form of it. It's certainly there, just not for the right reasons.
Not just American society, but all modern society which one could argue that those societies took inspiration from America.
It's the hallmark of society here in the UK as well.
True, and why is that. I would argue when base input in society is profit, then get ready to become excel table. But hey, at least if always you do and think as you are told, you get to live forever, and in paradise no less.
I've lost many "friends" because I opened up to them about my problems
Yeah , me too . But thats life. We must fight it through alone and we walk this path alone because its our own life. Being an Independent and individual human isnt easy and has its cons too but it also means we have strength what others lack to be such a human .
As a man when you cry; you do it alone. Don't let the world trick you into thinking they ever cared or ever will care.
I love this
ill cry wherever i want whether anybody cares or not
Stop crying and get back to work! You're not a human being. You're a work horse.
As a former cow
Mooo ma moo ma moo moo moo… mooooooo ma moo moo moo
@@KYLE-zo4bm Yup. There's a big difference between bawling your eyes out and shedding some tears. It indicates that a mf cares.
They told me "Smile; it could get worse!"
So I smiled. And it got worse.
And then they told you "hey, at least you've got a smile on your face!"
If you smile, a bug will get inside your mouth. You should stop.
Hey, cheer up. It could be better, and you would be surrounded by fake people who pretend to like you.. for you..
lol-good one
But it could get worse much faster for you personally, if you would not play along with others. Thats the point.
People refuse to understand others unless they act like them.
People are re/tar. ted
i believe that is the relevancy bias
You can’t emphasize if you can’t empathize.
That’s a general lack of empathy, a feminine archetype I would argue, extending more and more into the realm of men who have seen their T levels crater.
It’s not that they refuse to understand, it’s that they can neither understand from personal experience, nor muster the cognitive effort to decipher.
@@realistic_delinquentOne of my buddies exes couldnt comprehend why he was such good friends with us because we had different politics. To her, that was "too fundamentally different." Thank god shes an Ex 🤣
Fakeness is the mark of modernity. Only the bravest are daring to not comply today because you risk everything. But that's what differs us from the sheep.
I'd say you have to pick your battles, but I'd have to also admit I'm one of the sheep your talking about.
People hate others being honest but they are also frightened of reflecting what they personally are hiding from themselves, that deep down they are being oppressed.
@ChudLite-vh6zk price of being a sheep is boredom, price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose wisely.
It’s not a consequence of modernity. The species has the ability to contort those muscle groups for a reason, and that reason may not be arbitrary.
Its true . Thats why we now have almost no people that are outstanding enough to be modern day legends . We are so much drenched into falsehood out of fear that we have imperfections in our personality and wont accept and learn from those imperfections which we lead our insecurities run amok in todays society .
But it takes great strength to accept yourself and beat our insecurities to become a human being that succeeds in life as an icon of something that shows what power individualism have .
A mass of actors
not a stage in sight.
Society is the play we are the actors. Bread and circus.
I believe Shakespeare had a little something to say about it.
That's how work feels to me
@@chsims12 soon you will only be on silicon
@@chsims12send in the clowns
I'm currently reading ''The Prince'', by Nicolo Machiavelli. He explicitly says that, for the sake of maintaining power, you must always play a game of pretend. You must look good and vitrtuous and just and merciful, even if you are actually none of those things. I think the game of pretend between the plebs is a game for petty power, social power.
So the general populace is religiously and by imperative to function, made up of the worst, most evil, most conniving and egotistical aspects of human experience. Sounds about right
@@mattrovis-hermann9194 It's worse than that. Evil can be punished because it is evil.
These people are more like subhumans, they aren't a full real human being, they are malformed half made humans without all the correct filling, they fill the void with materialism and social events, prior to materialism it was spiritualism.
They literally are on the same level as most of the animals we eat, just with a little more capacity for thought.
Well, yeah!
That's if you are a Prince. His advice for Republics is very different. (The Discourses)
@@mattrovis-hermann9194 n0rmies are always fake, aren't they. That's why we call them n0rmies since they differ from us highly
"It's not so much how people feel about you, rather how they feel about themselves when they are with you."
I don’t have to do anything and refuse to help anybody.
There are popular people giving advise like "Avoid the unhappy and unlucky people. So the fake smile will last forever.
I dunno…
There is a threshold between being supportive, and being pulled over the event horizon…
@@basilbaby7678 oh and they hate when someone is trying to change their situation and take control of their lives, they even get so defended you wonder if you were ever friends
Trueth is, most normal people we meet in life are simply unable to help us, they lack any competence to understand the problems we go through, unless they went through it by themself. That's why people suggest generalised solutions.
"Go to the Gym",
"Lets drink a beer",
"you could have it much worse",
"just be happy" and so on ...
If you get stuff like that, its already generous. In the worst case, they want you to stay miserable, so they look better next to you, this plays a big roll in workplaces, or they use your vulnerable stade in order manipulate you more easily.
You have to lookout for yourself first, befor you can rely on others. Ignore feelings and act rasional as possible, ask yourself "what benefits me and what not?", nurrish the first and discard the last. As mentioned many times, no one cares about your tears, so why should you? You can cry if you want to, if you feel better afterwards, but don't fall into inaction, crying by itself dosent make anything better, you have to act and make things better for yourself.
Love when someone gaslight your problems by saying theres someone with a worse problem like ok bro why cant it be better ???
By stating that something could be worse, there’s the implication that a situation could also be better.
@@brandonpayne4522high IQ and perceptive face.
It is implied, but ok.
@@brandonpayne4522how does that help? It uss a way of not listening and ignoring your problem.
My response: "Yeah, but they didn't work themselves to the brink of insanity to be better and get better. There's a difference between someone who didn't do anything to advance their life and they end up bad off and someone who sacrificed everything to advance their life and ended up bad off."
I don't keep anyone around me who speaks like that. There's a concept called "thought-terminating cliche". It's a thing you say which is designed to derail discussions. A classic from vvomen is "who hurt you?" It's designed to derail your discussion of the lack of accountability in vvomen. The same is true of "yeah, but at least you aren't as bad off as so-and-so".
My friends and family don't say such things to me because they know I'll ditch them if they do. If they can't demonstrate the minimum level of care for my wellbeing, I will show none to them.
Even so, you shouldn't overburden people in your life by telling them the same problem over and over again. I'm also ruthless in this regard. I enjoy being a sounding board for my friend's problems and triumphs. I enjoy social dynamics among people so their stories always interest me. Even so, if they come to me with the same problem and they aren't looking for a solution, I'll tell them they desire to have that problem. I tell them they may as well not speak to me of it because I know they're just using me as an emotional scratching post and wasting my time.
If you tell someone to curtail speaking to you of their problems, you should give them a sensible reason why you won't entertain it. In any event, you shouldn't only speak of your problems with people in your life. If you have nothing but problems from their POV, they'll feel used.
I do not want "therapy," I want results!
Here, here!
Same here
Depends, I am autist/adhd and did some therapy talk with a therapist that has the same conditions. I would say it was helpful to clear up some of my thoughts of people getting me to doubt my own experience as a person with those conditions. What was usefull was to understand people will not understand me and I will get shit on my entire life for being different so there is no point me wondering or hoping it will change or thinking that their is something I can do it make it change.
There's nothing wrong with therapy. I've done it off and on throughout my life. Sometimes helpful, sometimes not. 15 years ago, I was going through a divorce, and saw a therapist. It was a middle-aged woman. Turned out she was dying of ovarian cancer. She was just hoping to live another couple of years and see her kids through high school (didn't make it). She was heavily doped because of pain, and would fall asleep during our sessions. The first time it happened, I wasn't sure what to do. Then I decided to keep talking anyway. I just prattled on with her sleeping across from me. And I realized two things:
1. I was really just there to talk things out and didn't care if the person listened or not.
2. I wasn't dying of cancer, which was really very good.
@@youtuber-cc8sxLast therapist I had was female and she was a 'rhymes with runt'. It's one thing if a female therapist doesn't understand men's problems, but it's much worse if she insults you for it and is passive aggressive. The only one decent therapist I've ever had was the only male therapist I've ever had. The only therapist I've ever had that achieved their childhood dream was that same therapist. Go figure. One thing's for sure, after that last therapist, I'll never go back again. I've been through enough of them to realize it's a waste of time at best and further reinforces your issues at worst. Out of all the people I've met that did therapy, I'd say that it only worked for like 1% of them and that's only if the issues weren't too bad.
I've tried venting to my parents and grandparents before, they just tell each other I'm seeking attention when I do. I've known for a while now no one really cares about me, yet if I were to have a fatal heart attack they would all be weeping and having regrets about what they didn't do while I was alive. It happened to my step dad's brother. He was quite clearly depressed and self-destructive and people just treated him as a nuisance. One day he had a heart attack and died and the next day everyone was saying "oh we should have done this, should have done that blah blah blah." Why didn't you when he was alive?
I don't mean to offend you and RIP to your brother. If those members want to get screwed over. I'm here.
Because saying it after the fact makes them feel better and costs them nothing. Doing something has the great expense of not being lazy and self deluded.
This! It always makes me sick how people weep and cry at the death of someone they never give a damn about.
@@excalibro8365 Yep. It's about being seen to care without actually having to care, and in doing so, making it all about themselves. "I should have" is a cry for attention and sympathy, essentially stealing it away from the deceased. Using tragedy as social capital. A dopamine fix masked as grief. Human psychology is messed up.
@@excalibro8365 That's why I stopped attending funerals, especially family ones. I only do it for people I really cared about or they really cared about me and I want to pay them a last public homage. Anything else is a fake game I refuse to play.
It's difficult to look at people the same once you understand the tears of the clown.
The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation all while trying to act like everything is alright and while forcing a smile.
This cannot and will not go on forever.
no, in part because our leaders will bring us to ruin, and in part because people will finally break.
I live in quiet desperation while knowing what I truly want is forever out of my reach anyways
@@DanMcCheese And how many will go ER because of the hell they are forced to live in ?
it won't go on forever, it never has. There needs to be people who will rise above and make it right.
@RadicallyGreen Very few, honestly. ER was an outlier, he was always going to do what he did or something similar regardless, the conditions of our time just exacerbated his case. Most young men dealing with this hell are looking for a movement to be part of to break out of it, they don’t want to be lone wolves committing senseless atrocities.
Reminds me of what George Orwell said, "in dishonest times those who tell the truth are hated."
Here in Poland, most people have sad faces at work. Poles often joke about it, that we are a very depressed nation. They always cite as an example Americans or Asian countries where everyone is happy. It comes out that we are quite an honest nation when it comes to emotions, and this is considered a very big disadvantage.
I learned this lesson so well that once in my teens, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and as they take me through the hospital and the doctors ask me how im doing my reply is, _"oh, I'm fine thanks and how are you?"_ Because that's the answer people want, they don't care about how you're doing.
Lmao
Why do i feel like i was in the same situation and i just forgot about it
I love this man. Nice. Funny timing, few days ago I had a medical scare moment so to say. I was on the phone with the hospital triagist and after quite some minutes of talking (things that made them say I needed some crucial things checked asap) they ask me why I called, but I already mentioned all the medical no buenos. So I said in reply 'Well I wanted to know if you would find this worrying' LOL
Almost every time a waitress or anyone I don't now asks "how are you?", I respond "terrible". Sometimes I'll even elaborate and claim my dog died, my mom got cancer, I lost my job. Then I'll say "Nah, I'm just messin'", and get a good laugh.
Occasionally, immediately after I say "Terrible", the other person responds "Happy to hear it", demonstrating that they weren't really listening and don't care.
I too have experienced this…
“How are you”
-Me- do you really wanna know?
-either they laugh ,
-take umbrage , because I didn’t acknowledge their false cloak of concern,
-yes I do wanna know with a phony smirk
-Yes , I do wanna hear about it….
but I know they won’t understand or either of us don’t have the time.
In sum….. I think this might have been a conditioned superficial unconscious greeting /question
that stardusk is mentioning.
I do know there is some that really do care, but few and far between,
And also , they are struggling to find some peace and happiness i inside too.
@@Michael-it7nx Jesus man, it’s called being pleasant and that’s what waitresses and the like are supposed to do! Do you really expect them
To want you to open up about all of your problems before you order a sandwich? I mean come on man
@@brianmeen2158 I get that Brian👍… 34years ago , I did the waiter thing, and it is a different dynamic with female / male waiting,
even more so now.
Times and public perception have changed since then , as mentioned in the vid,
I did try to acknowledge that in my comment, (maybe not very well)
regardless , appreciate the feedback,
gave me something to reflect on. 👍
@@brianmeen2158 I think you missed the point…. doing a verbal dump before my “my sandwich” is ordered is not what I tried to convey.
All good sir. 👍
Social convention is not an invitation, it’s a societal formality.
Most animals aren’t mulling over the inner world of other beings…except for dogs. lol
There is nothing to smile in this dark society I have been alone since I was a teenager 20+ years ago and I never had any friends
Why haven’t you had friends though? Have you developed social skills and put yourself around others and initiated conversations with them? I don’t know too many people that is completely unable to make friends IF they put enough effort into it. It all depends how much you want it though. Much of it is about value - you need to bring value to a friendship if you expect others to want to be around you .. they need to supply value as well
@@brianmeen2158 because i have no social skills people made fun of me for many many years the way I talk and I have PTSD from it
Yeah i'm the exact same except. I didn't have friends at all my whole life, my whole life none, not even my mother was my friend. everyone I love just refuses to cooperate with me, i'm treated like i'm subhuman and contaminated.
I have a completely different standard of conduct applied to me than other peoples friends. Their "Friends" Can lie to them, they can steal from them, they can spread rumours about them, and they literally don't care it's like a regular spat. I try to politely explain something to them they're fucking pissed off and made. Or i'm happy and they're getting progressively more and more pissed off while i'm having a normal conversation with them. Ask them if I'm doing anything wrong and apparently i'm not that doesn't stop them from treating me like shit.
I've even had people who genuinely wanted to be around me, but that didn't stop them from violating my boundaries and treating me like I'm shit and don't matter. Countless times I try to communicate, "hey sorry it's completely fine i'm not upset towards you and I don't mean to be antagonistic but you did X today in front of a bunch of people and i felt like you were kind of throwing me under the bus intentionally and degrading my reputation. It's either they're never doing it or i'm crazy for even asking them why they're abusing me and if they can stop.
Women too, i'm actually very physically attractive at least in the face, Women will actively chase me, they'll make advances on me flirt with me, some will even grope me and the only thing preventing it from being straight up sexual assault is my neutral confused attitude to why some random woman i've never met is dive bombing me?
I can't have a relationship with me though, I can't even formulate a relationship with women who are so attracted to me they're physically groping me. I can be a sex object i can't be a human being.
@@brianmeen2158 Honestly in my experience it's nearly impossible to get someone else to reciprocate a relationship there's just a absolute stubborn refusal to co-operate. They aren't reliable, they don't show up on top, they'll invite you over when you're not home for literally no fucking reason. I've had my "Friends" do that, they'd all get together invite me over i'd run a couple of km's to play a fucking dice game and show up and the fuckers weren't there.
@@Darkdimension991 The best thing you can do is find a community.
"don't surround yourself with negative people" is a popular phrase in the self improvement sphere that sounds nice but on the flip side makes negative people more negative and more lonely.
It also reinforces the "fake it till you make it" mentality of forcing a false front to keep those around from thinking you're one of the "negatives"
It's a circle of nonsense and apathy
Theres truth to that but no. *This will be long but hopefully worth reading if you have like 5 min. *
The negative people need to find other negative people to make something positive.
If your not saying something expansive,
you are a threat to optimal outcomes.
Being practical and rational are useful skills when they are meant to be.
However I assure you if the person welding them does not care about your outcome they are subconsciously sacking your growth to remove potential.
Heres a short story to give some context on how I know this to be true.
Every.single.time. I speak with my mom, dad or sister, it takes me a minimum of 4 hrs to recover (which might not even happen and can literally drain the energy out of my entire day. )
It has been made very clear that they do not care about what impact they have on me .
As if this wasnt debilitating enough,
Their commitment to pessimism in every aspect of life instantly rejects ANTYTHING that promotes growth like a foreign object.
I mean literally anything. You could introduce them to the concept of water and that will go directly to the void 😂
Anyways,
Despite my best efforts ,
this has impacted my life in a severely negative way.
To be fair ,
I’ve avoided cutting them off both because i empathize with them ..
…and because that would make me even more alone without any support -which sucks.
The most unnecessarily destructive and destabilizing effect of having no positive comradery is that none of it can be talked about because it will be gaslighted into obscurity while being aware that…
The amount of VERY serious problems that could have been avoided by a modicum of help is astounding.
So part of the reason I continue to connect with them is a reasonably selfish fear of loss.
..But i am aware that i cant continue to pay this cost.
You quite literally cannot afford to let people put out your fire when you barely have any light.
Because once thats gone -you’re really screwed.
Truthfully, My internal system doesn’t even agree with this society wide forced isolation philosophy and cultural commitment to suffering as some demented source of empowerment.
And truthfully, Most issues don’t actually have to exist.
If everyone understood that growing each other as shared resources from the mindset of building decentralized equity in each other…
wed all have far better outcomes.
One of the things about being black pill ,
is inherently understanding cards you are dealt.
Meaning even if you have 999 bad cards you must use the 1 slighty good card you do have as a source of leverage to connect. For example this channel
Its very hard to optimize your crappy deck when people prefer that you show up for them feeling like crap just because they’ve never cared to gift you fuel that would produce a more abundant future
That's messed up, "avoid the people that go through the same things or started at the same point as you". That's what it sounds like when I read "don't surround yourself with negative people".
Yes, I've thought this for a long time. It creates a culture of self centeredness and solipsism.
@@matthiasthulman4058You're reply needs to be pinned. 👍
It really is tiring. I hardly have the energy to put on a false mask anymore. You can’t even talk about your issues because people truly do lack empathy for most of us guys, and they’ll just pretend as if what you know isn’t reality. The most depressing thing is that it won’t get better. It’s all downhill from here.
No one cared until I put on the mask * heavy breathing *
lmao people lack empathy even for each other.
@@shreksburgers I do think that most folk lack empathy, but it’s fairly clear that some groups are disregarded less often.
@@MogMonster87 Lmao
Empathy is a myth as on the other hand there are countless testimonies of compassion and mercy over some of the darkest periods in human history.
I don't even smile anymore, I'm too deep into depression.
Just wait till you feel nothing
People always joke of my country (Poland) that we are smiling very rarely here in work or in the street - but the truth is, that we are just not afraid to NOT PRETEND to be happy, when we aren't. Trust me, there are many situations when we are smiling, but we are always doing this when we are REALLY happy, not just to "look appropriately". That's why I just can't understand this obsession in western countries to always look happy, to be honest.
Sounds great. Less pressure and less reason to feel anxious
I think it’s most Slavic countries to be honest. Might be the same for Asian cultures.
Yeap - I have always appreciated the sense of genuine conversation and interactions with people from overseas in the US… I live in a tourist town and the best interactions are always with people not born here…
The US is filled with people living the whole checklist life “style” because conformist thinking, behavior, and ideology is pushed from the day you enter school as a kid
In America you are punished and socially alienated for looking thinking being and believing different from whatever the flavor of the week happens to be
This is what happens when a society nolonger believes in god and family = money material and “good vibez dude bro” become god…
And then everyone gangs up on the few who have the balls and courage to be authentic genuine individuals!!
This is why I tell my girl that we have to leave the US for a country that values the basics: god family etc…
It's like that in Scotland too
Charles Bronson never cracked a smile when he didn't mean it
I couldn't force a smile at the office or lick boots so I never got a raise of promotion so I just moved from job to job when I wanted more money, once I even doubled the money so it proves it wasn't due to lack of ability or competence.
There's something truly wrong with human society and the social setup. It starts with the dishonesty and the pretention and from there on it's like you are expected to partake in a false, absurd play.
I love how George Carlin said the #1 product in the USA is bullshit.
Women are to blame, as they have been given the power and they fucked up the world
"Fake it til you make it." is the modern worlds take on the optimal method of mental health.
Most are still just as fake as they were when they started.
You can prove his point quite easily. the next time someone asks how you're doing tell them exactly how you are doing. I do this frequently at the checkout line when the checker asks me how I'm doing. They don't really care how you're doing its just something everybody says. So she asks me how I'm doing once I said "terrible" and she stopped and looked at me. It got her attention, she said she didn't expect to hear that, me: I'm a realist and if I'm asked something I will answer it truthfully. She said there are so many fake people in the world. TRY IT YOURSELF! and have fun
Right? What a miserable life to pretend and lie all the time. Im over it
A nuclear bomb explodes over the city. Normies will be like: well, every cloud has a silver lining!
Normies will be screaming.
It'll be the blackpillers seeing the real silver lining.
Normies are too dùmb to see it
Metropolitan areas are cancer anyway.
Smile, tomorrow will be worse.
Reminds me of Midnight Oil's Cemetery in my Mind.
Yes with that attitude it will be. Go get a workout in - it will help you think more positive. Reduce your time watching doomer content
Lol
@@brianmeen2158 You forgot "Take a shower bro".
@@Don-Coyote-De-Transylvania Just lift bruh. It will fix everything bruh.
I never clicked on something so quick in my life.
Ok
Same
The last part of the video reminded me of the movie Warriors of the Rainbow. It is about the Japanese occupation of Taiwan in the years leading up to WW2. The story is about a tribe that has no contact with the modern world or modern technology. A scene that I remember is a group of men being fed alcohol under the watchful eye of Japanese guards when one of the guys says "we didn't know we were poor until you showed up and told us we were".
I feel like I'm cursed with seeing the world clearly. I don't have the illusions or delusions the people around me seem to have. I just see the ugly nature of reality and since those around me don't or won't see it we cannot connect.
People will call you cynical but I think you're probably just a skeptic . . . As you should be in these times.
@@WilcoxNotreallythere its called not being fake.
As another RUclipsr suggested, we’re probably better off just talking to a tree
Or a wall.
BTW, never ask a wall to talk back. They slur their speech terribly as a result of being plastered.
At least then you're in a more peaceful environment.
Unironically, probably the best option. Whenever one feels compelled to speak about his feelings, it's really just so he can get out and hear his own thoughts so they can be recognized and reflected upon.
It makes my working experience all the more miserable. Barely able to make enough money to pay my bills and buy groceries, yet, I have to PRETEND that I’m happy with my circumstances. It’s an insult on TOP of another insult.
No one gives a fuck. Not family, not friends. Unfortunate but true.
I consider myself lucky to have learned that when I was very young. 61 now and quite content.
I consider myself lucky to have learned this at a very young age. 61 now and quite content. I didn't spend my life trying to please others or agonizing over their opinion of me.
How did you stop caring what others think?
@Platinumquotes-rb4wd well, I'm very analytical. I saw how people mistreated their "friends," how people would casually lie or steal...either petty items or large. I realized as a child, that if these various people had no morals concerning their conduct towards others, that it must be true that I was being treated likewise, even though everyone acted like things were fine.
I extrapolated from there, that caring about others' opinion of me, or indeed, practicing altruism towards others, was not only a fool's errand but detrimental to me. It made me a mark, a sucker.
Two things: 1) I did not become an a$$hole. I didn't become bitter. I simply stopped pretending that what people said was true. I watched their actions. 2) In day-to-day life, I did, and continue to treat others with respect. I've owned a few companies. All were successful, largely because I did what I said I would do, I was sincere in my efforts, and I was respectful.
The trick is to disengage. Don't play society's game. Find what interests YOU. Pursue that, while involving as few people as possible. Keep your circle small. Try to keep track of your enemies as best you can. But on the whole, become mostly anonymous. None of us are obligated to be dancing monkeys.
Lastly, you must actually have an opinion of yourself. You need a short term and a long term goal, which you should be working on. Without a strong sense of where you're going, you will become distracted, lost and ultimately very unhappy. Best of luck to you!
Do you genuinely care about others? If not, stfu!
America has transitioned into a service economy and smiling in the service industry has been labeled plastic smile.
This is what I have told my family and local MP and got roundly ignored.
When we built stuff all you had to be was competent and thorough. A Grouchy guy was acceptable. Because he was skilled. Or he worked at a factory. This is why the best place for men is the trades. You can be real. And some of your coworkers will actually care. Not all but enough.
@@daveshore8671 The service industry is just a way of saying to other countries, "come over and fuck us over as hard, if not harder than you have before," I personally despise it.
When people asked me how I'm doing, I tell them "I don't know". When I said that...People panicked.
LOL. Gong to have to use that sometime.
In the hick town I live in they all say
"Fair to middlin."
Basically meh.
Ditto, or a step further.. "i dont ask myself depressing questions"
Embrace the suck, enjoy the decline, and God Bless, fellow Duskies.
I cannot comprehend how someone can be responsible enough to be informed of current events and still manage to put on a smile like everything is okay.
Your friendship is a fog, it disappears when the wind redirects..
"America breeds malcontents the way it breeds captians of industry, weening us on cutthroat competition, training us to be egocentric and disposing of us with indifference, were a nation free to choose where we buy our whoppers but imprisoned in a society where no one gives a damn about about anyone else". I read that in a letter to the editor by someone responding to an article in a magazine which I have forgotten, this was about thrity years ago maybe longer. Funny the things that stick with you.
8:25 One exception might be to find someone who wanted to be therapist even when they were a kid. Bare minimum in high school.
Although, not something you ever hear kids say. So, good luck with that.
I think the big issue for men in our kinds of situations, is conventional therapy runs counter to our worldviews and beliefs to begin with. Therapists don't want to hear about black pill topics because it is such a threat to their own thought & belief structure. Tough to open and truly listen to those you feel threatened by.
Therapists are just part of the corporate motivational gaslight industry. Blackpillers see right through that BS.
This is why I like this channel straight to the point with no BS.
The thing about this pain, is theres no way out.
The irony being, at least in a collapse. Theres possibilities. Here though, its a slow grind into mush.
Better than a quickly collapsing building. Collapse can be caused by war. And there is no way out because life doesn't chose; humans simply do what we do. Driven by the same laws as a river or a tree
The Climate will collapse sooner that later
The worst thing you can say after someone greets you with "how are you doing" is "bad". Every day conversations run on pleasantries and once you witness that look of not giving a fuck they give you is when you realize it's better to just go along with the fake game.
I always tell them not to ask a question when they don't care about the answer
We need to do away with that stupid way of greeting each other. We should just say "hello" or "it is nice to see you". Something anything other than "how are you".
@roderickcortez138 I agree completely. I hate the coldness of it as well. The expected answer is 'fine thanks' as it will be well received by most people.
The lady at work does this, she responds to that question with "do you really want to know?"
Everyone thinks she is an asshole or something but she's not, she's having a really bad time and knows that they don't actually care.
I respect her for this. She's my only friend at work
Yes the more times you talk about your problems. The more and more people will subtly hate you. I believe this happened with my therapist. She said she couldn't believe in all the bad stuff. That's was happening to me. I didn't get that much help from her. I wasn't depressed for little to no reason. I was too complicated. Going to therapy was mostly negative and made me more hopeless.
I like this video because in someway I can connect to what Thinking-Ape is saying everyone in this day of age if you say one thing negative or criticize anything, or better yet if you give people just simple facts, they simply just go absolute bonkers. They'll say oh you are just a cynic you need to stop thinking that way and just think about all the good things as if you just think happy thoughts can somehow automatically makes things better. If you criticize anything in this day of age they automatically applied that you are hateful, hurtful, or just outright malicious. Let's face it the world has gone absolutely bonkers.
Never forget the USS liberty incident and the brave men who died
First btw
The true black pill is not that we are controlled by a certain group we can't name, but that our own "countrymen" don't care whether you live or die.
Noticing i see
I recently turned sixty and my "friends" decided to throw me surprise party at a local restaurant. I just thought we were getting together nothing out of the norm. I already wasn't in the best mood and really didn't feel like going out but did any ways. When I walked into the restaurant and heard "surprise" it took everything I had not to turn and walk away, so I put on my "happy face" and suffered through it. The point is, it sucks that my "friends" had to throw a party, at this point in my life, it should have been my wife, kids and perhaps grandchildren that did that. But the truth is, I do not have any of those things, (never have never will), I will die alone. 😐
Im stronger than robin williams
Lately this law of attraction type of mindset seems to have taken hold of everyone. People say that I have problems because i wanna have problems. I have anxiety because I wanna have anxiety. I'm single because I have a "lonely mindset". Blah blah blah. People are as crazy as they are apathetic.
I figured out long ago, that all people are insane, just some more than others, some functioning and some not. Just haveta learn to play and enjoy the game....
Law of attraction is just lazy Gnosticism…
@@stevierayripple the human race is mentally ill. Like you said, some more than others
It's unfortunate, all you hear is, "Just keep trying bro". "Just work harder bro" "Do these ____ things bro" "Go to the gym bro" "Just work on yourself bro" "Just go outside bro" "Just make more money and they'll come bro" "Just be more attractive bro" "Just be confident bro" "Buy my course bro"
@@Nick2quickOfficial Ugh. The gym thing drives me crazy. Dudes think the gym is the answer to everything nowadays. I've been going to the gym my whole life and I'm still single and anxious.
I love how realist this guy is. I've always thought this too. You can tell how people are just by their mannerisms, facial expressions. It always did disturb me how society does things like these just to have an appearance of everything is fine. I know people are not fine. It's so damn obvious it's sad.
I love that meme with the dog in the burning house.
Thank God for home office and remote work.
Was enjoying until we were forced to go back to the office 10 days a month
What I wouldn't give...
I am so tempted to do it.
yeah that's quiet a privilege feel the bliss and be glad, my profession is not compatible with home or remote work and 100% dealing with people all the time
And Vanguard ETFs.
"I Knew a man once who said, "Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."
-Maximus
That point about depression over lack of material items in relation to your environment and peers was so spot on
The human condition exacerbated by the 20th century…
And how they'd say "oh. So you hate your existence on this planet? Have some therapy." Brought to you by better help and Pfizer.
It's not so much about the material possessions, but about the limitations on freedom - and freedom of choice - that lack of money imposes. That sense of feeling trapped, restricted... caged. That's what sucks. It's a lack of liberty, not a shortage of trinkets.
@@GjVj couldnt have said it better. Constantly feeling stuck on the perpetual hamster wheel
@@WilcoxNotreallythere Life is sacred, no Futurama phone booths. Holy man? Nah, holy man sold out to corporate America. Wagie wagie, get in cagie.
I don't believe in pretending to be happy when you are not. I do, however, believe in using humor to get through tough situations. People often wonder why some people enjoy dark humor. Dark humor is usually a defense mechanism to dealing with the pain and suffering of life. As they say, the things that make us laugh also make us cry.
I really don't like the question "How's it going?" at work. No guy is ever going to respond with anything other than "good" or "fine", and if he did it would just end up being awkward.
'Comparison is the thief of Joy' I think this is a great point. The look at me type culture has everybody on edge these days. Life is so simple yet it appears we make it seem ever more complex than it should be. I mean it doesn't help with people like the Kardashians that think being a maximalist is a good thing..
Stardusk you are so f***ing right. People really don't care how you are doing and just want you to pretend pretend pretend. However, I don't wanna pretend anymore. I'm sick of the bullshit. I live in England so this culture of "politeness" is really paramount but I believe to be inauthentic.
I need to leave and find a culture that more resembles my personality proclivities.
Did sharer. There are genuine people out there who do care - you just have to be one and willing to receive them. Now if you are angry and depressed then
Odds are you won’t attract these types of
I feel you but i prefer a culture with manners and positiveness
@@oranges557it’s all fake. The UK is very much class system so whereas in the US they say things to your face - in the UK it’s way more dystopian.
Don't worry, England is fading away to be replaced by a culture of Indians and poo on the street. 💩
@@Jonathan-Shadow. “It’s all fake”
Bullshit! You guys are such binary thinkers and it’s a problem .. no, not all people are fake and there are genuinely good folks out there. If you see everything with your pessimist lens then you are only hurting yourself .
I'm so glad to see men waking the F up. It's about damn time guys
Relatable. I stopped sharing any of my problems to people (family & friends) because none listens whenever I talk about it, and you're just supposed to pretend everything is fine - you're damned if you don't and damned if you do.
I have always refused to fake being happy, I make it a point to tell people how I truly feel in the moment they ask me, for good and bad.
I show up to work looking like a zombie, my boss doesn't give a fuck because I'm the best senior dev they have and they know it. I show up late, looking like I came from an afterparty (in reality, I also struggle with insomnia).
A lot of friends and acquaintances have told me they thought I had a drug problem, when in reality my life got much better when I started taking them. After I started doing amphetamines, embracing 5-6 hours of sleep, and embraced being who I am, life has gotten much better.
People appreciate authenticity, at least those that are worth it, the only kind of people I would want to be around.
I'll be there for the people I truly care about, because nobody was there for me when I needed it.
I would rather be the weirdo that stands out by being true to themselves than a fraud.
You really have to be careful with amps, my friend. No free ride in this world. Just saying.
@@JesterMax24 Life is not worth living without them. I was ready to give up on living and seriously considering ending it. At least now I can function without feeling like shit all the time. Better than coping with weed, alcohol or delusions. Stimulants are very well understood. I know i'm "shortening" my lifespan by a not insignificant amount, but the alternative was my life ending at 27.
Ditto actually. Came to find out i have odd genetics and an odd hypersensitivity to synthetics like food dyes. Spent my whole life punishec and accused of addiction for things i couldnt control like insomnia and sleepin in class.. whole time was just a genetic mutant with common symptom triggers in most food, drink, and meds.. many pills and surgeries later find out the pros and family pushing were causing most of the harm to me.
what amphetamines? how?
@@spark7922 Slow release amphetamines, like what you can get from adderall, dextroamphetamine, etc. Not street meth or speed pills. Life changing.
Fake smiles are just pure deceptive and evil.
Used to have a lot, lost everything in 2018. Never recovered financially or mentally, just getting worse each year.
Sovereign Oil Fund?
@@thinking-ape6483 Hehe, yes. I blew it all on my new AI gf. Sorry, Norway's officially broke. Nah, forgive my ungratefulness, Lord Stardusk. I'm aware how blessed I am for living on disability in Scandinavia. However, I built up millions on my own in my mid 20's and managed to lose it all. Now I own nothing of value, live like a student were literally every krone goes to rent and food/necessities, have no social life and used antipsychotics to sleep/cope for six years - which has ruined whatever little cognitive abilities I had. "Comparison is the thief of joy" as you mentioned. We also know from psychology that loss is much more painful than to never have had. Everything I planned to invest in keeps skyrocketing as a daily reminder. I don't like were I live but every opportunity keeps drifting away like the universe ever expanding at an accelerating rate. Again, I'm very aware these are all first world problems. But I spent all my youth focusing on getting the ticket to "Elysium", and finally had it in my hand - even started boarding the ship before I fell off.. This, combined with my poor psychological profile and past, makes me chronically depressed.
@@thinking-ape6483 Seems like youtube keeps removing my answer. Wish you well Stardusk
*"leave your problems at the door and be a professional."*
ah, so we're all lying to each other. like we needed more bullshit going around.
and, as the Joker once said, "Madness is like gravity. All it needs is a little push."
everyone smiles until the lights go out. then they'll all start showing their teeth, their real selves, behind the fancy fabricated masks they wear. only then will you see who the people around you truly are. which is also similar to the Joker's mockery to the cop that he knew his friends better than he did, because he saw their real selves on the brink of death.
And the smile becomes the sneer.
facts, one of the biggest mistakes i ever made was letting one of my exes see me get depressed and tell her about my problems, she became horrible towards me despite seeming like she cared, it's almost like she hated me subconsciously for going through something bad. but when i was happy go lucky it was as there was plenty good energy to drain. such is the same in other places too. im happy they want to suck all my energy, some even resent your hapiness but when you are sad they all vanish like the plague. what a fucking world
i realised the only solution is to journal, i always found it ridiculous that we are in a world where we can only be allowed to tell our problems to strangers, very bleak. but as for you stardusk i will admit that you have a drag in your voice that made it unpleasant at first, it almost sounded like with every word your pronounced you were tired of life, maybe it's age, it's experiences but its definitely there. combine such a voice with anything other than a happy go lucky personality would incredibly irritate some people, especially in an incredibly pretentious place like america. i worked as a tour guide once and met people from all-over the world and they were the most pretentious by a mile, sad because any smart person can hear the "fakeness" in their compliments,etc. second closest were the british and their split second smile
Very well put honestly. I always hated hearing my parents say, “Maybe you should talk to someone.” I’d give the same response every time and they would just change the subject. What was that response? “I know why I am so mad/depressed/apathetic. A therapist isn’t going to tangibly change my life. They aren’t going to give me a time machine to where I can go back and maybe not make certain mistakes I made as a teenager that got me where I am. There is zero point.” At the end of the day, we are alone in this world and I would have a lot easier of a time if people just let me be miserable instead of attempting to force me to lie and say everything is okay.
A life lived indulging in beautiful lies feels better than embracing the unkempt truth.
The soft lie vs the hard truth
Hit me between the eyes once again as an older individual walking to the out to pasture age. Cause I have to. Lost a career to the return to the hospitality service sector . Respect before , now a take it all shit-bird and smile just to survive. Truth is too painful of a reality for most. GREAT SAGE STARDUSK. YOU MAKE A GREAT DIFFERENCE . KEEP FOLKS OFF THE LEDGE BY LETTING ALL KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS EXPERIENCE.
"The worst kind of depression is fake happiness. Standing tall on a grave of dreams." -- Tom Klarfeld
Good topic. i can't really smile because it looks crooked and creepy like I've had a stroke. I'm not sure why it looks like that. I think it's just the footprint of a sad life left on my face. Even when I am not feeling sad, I still look sad. Even had a homeless guy ask me if I was ok a few years back, then he died a couple of months later. I must have a serious case of resting doom face.
Damn, it is clear this video was more personal for Stardust.
Whenever a man is honest with himself, he always drops truth nukes
My parents don't give a flying front kick about me, or the issues I face on a daily basis. Maybe it's because they know they are the cause of those issues, hence why they don't want to ask about my depression.....
Try calling them about your issues maybe that helps or phoning them
@titofmoss404 I've already spoken to them face-to-face about my depression, unwantedness, and societal pressures on multiple occasions, but they dismiss me and talk down to me like I'm a child. I've decided that I can't talk to them about anything cuz they choose to not understand me, gaslight me, and give advice that will generally not work like "just go to church and pray to God, he will give you a nice woman", whilst my mum will emasculate me any chance she gets, and my father will refuse to help me with anything in my life and blame me for my incompetence for not "being a man".
There is nothing I can do but detach completely.
@@Fightookaishii I don’t blame you feeling like that.
Although, tbh man I don’t think hiding from your family nor praying to god will help.
I realized that if I truly wanted something to change about myself, and I can control it, I would need to change it whether through therapy or some action.
Not to run your own life but, what you can do is just keep going and doing different things to help yourself.
Even if you’re alive that’s still at least better than nothing.
Is there some reason you keep in contact? Seems like you should just cut all ties.
@bishopofeternity48 I live with them rn and I don't have enough money to move out. I'm working a job with shit pay, and I only just started it, but the contract is 1 year so after it's all said and done I'm gonna find a new job with better pay. Right now, I'm saving all of my money for a future departure from these people.
It sounds like you need to have a really good friend who will your friend despite your hardship. Introverts tend to have very few friends, but they can count on those friends.
I refuse to be something else than myself.
"People tend to hate me
Cause i never smile" the seeker, the who, 1971
Some things never change...
Excellent video. If men stopped trudging along, real change could happen.
Guys, its time to say "this stops now"
As China says, lie flat and let it rot.
As my Dad used to say, "Smile, it gets worse"
When most animals bare their teeth it's with an aggressive growl and is the precursor to violence.
Yes. This is why it is actually a bad idea to smile at animals(especially wild ones.)
@@cgsimons1187 🤣
Especially bears
I've always took into heart the anotations of being positive in misery, and that phased into the character I bring into the workforce unwillingly being a part of it. After a performance evaluation I was told by a hard pushing supervisor that I always smiled coming into work even after pushing near 12 hours per day. He shakes my hand and pats my back and encourages me to keep it up, he doesn't know how much I despise supervisors like him and the corporate scorn, and how much I resent relying on this job to survive in a tight knit environment that could consume me without the steady income I so need.
I simply just smile to fluster out the anger and resentment that could risk everything I work hard for, like most of my other associates that choose to leave or callout on peak days, so maybe one day when I can be free, I can choose to be miserable in paradise.
I understand and agree with most of what StarDusk is saying.
I don't typically suffer from depression, but my life has been marked by much disappointment and anxiety.
However, I've always found meaning through pursuing my interests and hobbies.
However, It's clear that today's individualistic and consumer-driven society hasn't made us happier; many people remain miserable despite advancements in technology.
One thing about me is that I enjoy helping others.
When someone is feeling down, I want to support them. However, if someone remains in a perpetual state of distress despite your efforts, it can take a toll on your own well-being.
Life is short, so let's try to make the most of it. If others are consistently dragging you down and your support isn't making a difference, it might be time to move on.
StarDusk might not want to hear this, but being around depressed people can have a negative emotional impact, and there's scientific evidence to support this.
As much as I like blackpill content, it can be pretty toxic to the mind if a person exposes themselves too much to it
@@Psy5x I agree. Embracing the red pill has opened my eyes, and I navigate life with that profound awareness. However, the black pill descends into the depths of pure nihilism.
Almost everything we're surrounded by is a facade and a lot of people who smile are miserable on the inside. It's a sad reality but we have to learn to accept things as they are, enjoy the comfort of solitude and be happy with who we are.
As someone in the hospitality sector, I'm the least liked--frankly most hated of my colleagues--simply because I do my job without smiling or showing some sort of "sunshine" behavior towards the clients. Even Corporate states I need to be "kinder" in my job (despite the fact my position requires more intensity & security scrutiny), but I get paid exactly like the rest of the staff--except MGMT--and there aren't promotions/raises based on merit. Union field FYI. The point I'm trying to make is that we all got issues, but we shouldn't be forced to do something that snowballs into some sort of imposter syndrome.
Find your peace; be logical; do right by you since nobody's coming to save you...EXCEPT YOU!
People are scared of Reality, they would rather life in a fake positiv life rather than a Real Life with the problems that come with it. Just Grind it out bro, just be happy bro, People expect you to push your emotions away when you feel raw and real feelings. But they also say to you ,,Open up a little, lossen up but when you do they push you away because you have a bad ,,Vibe" about you.
Friends, family, they are just more F words.
I had thought about it couple of days ago, as if I even cannot do it today, due through years of depression and lack of anything good happening to me, it really gets hard to do it, even if I am around people who are close, we just do not have the courage to lie to ourselves in front of the world anymore....
This is me
To pretend to be happy in a world of chaos seems like wasted energy. I’m currently matching my environment which is probably not good but it is what it is.
The gem of the manosphere comes out swinging again, with more info on his Defying Reality concept. We are here for you mate, in whatever limited way helps.
We had a problem with american corporate vices being introduced here in the late 90's and early 2000's. Smile, no negativity will be tolerated in the workplace. There is also the strange thinking of controlling what salary personnel do with their time. Or what people do in their private lives. The entire concept of paying someone a salary is buying their productivity output without having to micromanage their time. Never was able to understand this.
I see the American corporate executives as narcissists and socipaths. That's why they came up with such sick ideas. Sucks that such ideas spread like a plague.
That was an unkind thing for your mom to say
The one I get a lot is "customers can hear you smile through the phone" to the point that "attitude" is valued more than actual tech support (as is my job), with the end goal being, as you said, profit maximalization.
man bro i swear thinking ape hits so hard at work
This reminds me of the "Serenity now" episode of Seinfeld.
I almost died yesterday due to sleepwalking. Fell and nearly bled to death..
Ooh and you survived; sucks to be you bro
Wtf? I’m sorry you had to deal with that
''That's craaazy.''
I think about how many people don't end their lives for various reasons. However, if they were told they were going to sleep that night and not waking up, they'd probably not feel bad about it.
As my body and mind break down as I age and existential dread overtakes me, I try to remember this pearl of wisdom…put on a happy face.
I came across a guy maybe 5 years ago. It never made sense until a couple of years later after I grew closer to God. Walked past him and didn't disrespect him at all. As I walked past him, he says in a miserable kind of loud tone. SMILE. SOME PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW HOW TO SMILE.
Obviously today I would turn around and say shut the ---- up. but back then i was still a little scared so I said nothing and thought why someone is so upset because I didn't smile while showing no disrespect. Weird part was he wasn't even smiling as I went pass,
It's like they're trying run away from the rain that eventually catches up with them instead of learning to dance with it from time to time. Obviously, there's thunderstrikes you can't control or change so you got to run or walk away for different shelter.
Embracing the pain, can be cathartic, when you can actually get something off your chest. Most normies havent got a clue.
@@--Morpheus-- What are you trying to say?
Sad times when honest people have to fake what they are, while fake people feel right at home.
If you smile, someone will try to remove it. If you frown, noone will care.
Everybody's a monster, nobody more so than the best of us.