I love the lyrics and the song. I think it could be a little shorter. At some point I feel like it goes back and forth between soft and intense too many times. I really like the subject matter of the lyrics though. The first verse I think you could take the two "fucking's" out and it would still work fine. Because that first verse is a softer part, not putting "fucking" in there will add to the contrast for when the heavy stuff comes in. Just my thoughts. ;) I think you could also just let it fade out at 2:30 with that piano and it would be pretty cool.
@@eyedidnotdie Yeah just let that piano part at 2:26 go for 3 bars by itself and end on that C note and it's a hit. This is me being nitpicky now, but I'd say in the 1st verse, also instead of saying "you can hear the angels fucking cry" I would stick with using "I can hear the angels fucking cry". I say that just because it's the only line in that verse that uses "you" rather than "I" or "I'm" or "I've" It keeps that immersion like you're describing yourself in the "shadows where the freaks dream". And yeah, also consider removing the times you say "fucking" from the first verse all together. If you say "fucking" too many times, it removes the impact of the word in my opinion. Maybe one "fucking" per song is alright though. hahaha The chorus is perfect though
![EYEDIDNOTDIE - I Did Not Die [StonerCore Dark Electropop]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Frng__OR69E/mqdefault.jpg)
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I love the lyrics and the song. I think it could be a little shorter. At some point I feel like it goes back and forth between soft and intense too many times. I really like the subject matter of the lyrics though. The first verse I think you could take the two "fucking's" out and it would still work fine. Because that first verse is a softer part, not putting "fucking" in there will add to the contrast for when the heavy stuff comes in. Just my thoughts. ;)
I think you could also just let it fade out at 2:30 with that piano and it would be pretty cool.
Truth
@@eyedidnotdie Yeah just let that piano part at 2:26 go for 3 bars by itself and end on that C note and it's a hit. This is me being nitpicky now, but I'd say in the 1st verse, also instead of saying "you can hear the angels fucking cry" I would stick with using "I can hear the angels fucking cry". I say that just because it's the only line in that verse that uses "you" rather than "I" or "I'm" or "I've" It keeps that immersion like you're describing yourself in the "shadows where the freaks dream". And yeah, also consider removing the times you say "fucking" from the first verse all together. If you say "fucking" too many times, it removes the impact of the word in my opinion. Maybe one "fucking" per song is alright though. hahaha The chorus is perfect though
@@A_Mystery_Man nitpicking songs I guess it gives you something to do, alleviates the boredom