watching this after finding out Amy passed away is awful she was a strong amazing person. Watching her be scared hurts my heart I hope her family can grieve and never forget how amazing she was and how much she impacted so many people.
She knows. She is smart. She is a nurse, and with this videos she earn heavy money. I need more help, i dont have job, I'm alone, and do not have money, for live.
As someone with an eating disorder, it’s so...refreshing? Idk if that’s the right word. It helps give some perspective to someone like me, who has one set perspective on a certain thing. She didn’t have a choice in being this thin and so many strive for it. So much respect and love for this sweet girl.
This pains me so much to see you like this! I just went off my TPN and had my G-Tube removed. I had a huge abdominal surgery and complications with Crohn’s Disease. I was only on it for 2 months. Now attempting to feed myself is so difficult and I miss the TPN...never thought I would say those words. It truly is a lifesaver! I can totally identify with seeing yourself in the mirror and knowing this not how you are supposed to look! I have found so much comfort in your videos and knowing I am not alone! Thank you for being so open about your condition and helping those of us who are too self conscious to post ours! Always wishing you the best!
Nicholas Garcia Hay man, I was in hospital for the best part of a year a couple of years back - after Crohn’s disease complications left me with a perforated intestine. Was admitted on the 22nd December and was in surgery on Xmas day where they cut out an 11 inch section of my intestine. The recovery didn’t go too well and I went from my usual 13 stone down to just 7 stone in 3 months. Non stop feed for months and no solid food at all is really, really tough. I honestly felt like I was DISAPPEARING. The first time I was allowed food in months, I could only handle soup, jelly and ice cream for a few weeks. But when I got given the go ahead to order a proper meal, I ate too much and ended up stretching my stomach and was in so much pain I was prescribed fentanyl patches and needed round the clock morphine injections. And another 3 weeks without food. I hated how I looked by now and was so depressed. But gradually started eating and gaining weight again. All in all I was in hospital for 8 1/2 months !! All better now though but damn, I won’t forget that year in a hurry. One side effect that still lingers is how the ileostomy works - if I miss a meal or have an early dinner then sleep in late, the lack of food quickly makes me really ill again and I continuously wretch until I do eat something. But have changed my life around and I eventually feel like it’s behind me at last. Most people don’t realize how serious Crohn’s disease can be. Hope you are all better too ✌️
can we admire her and how amazing she is. shes going through so much and is obvs having self-esteem issues and shes still posting and still fighting strong this is what kids should look up to not kim k
My question would be how did the doctors let you get to this point. I just don't understand. You're so young to be going through all of this. I hope the tpn works and you start to feel better soon. Hang in there and just concentrate on getting well. Everything else will fall into place. College will be there when you are ready. Just take care of you right now.
Gastroparesis is a stubborn disease. It’s always one of the main goals to try to get nutrition the most natural ways. TPN is the last resort and they want to avoid it if possible. It’s a disease of ups and downs.
I'm thinking maybe cause the medical system loves to wait till you’re basically dead before they’ll take action. I’ve been to the er countless times for severe stomach pain and vomiting and I was crying begging for help. All the did was give me mylanta and said the only way they’d give me a scope is if I was bleeding out. Gotta love em 🙄
Hun, don’t hate the way you look!! You can’t help it’ like I said before, don’t get use to it coz your gonna get better soon. Your loved so much, and your heart is so kind and sweet. Hang in there xoxo
We have different health issues, for me it's cancer. I've been approved for TPN because my weight got so low and I was malnourished. Luckily I dug my way out without needing it yet. I have a central line. I also scared the shit out of myself because I caught a view of myself in my peripheral vision and I looked skeletal. I was terrified. My husband has also had to be on TPN for horrible medical reasons and today he's ok. It's a tool to help you right now, use it. You're incredibly strong and it'll be okay, the TPN will help you get stronger. Sending you well encouragement and well wishes.
I'm pissed that they just kept telling you that there was a certain weight that would be when they would intervene. And then they just let you get this malnourished. I feel like they should have done something quicker in my opinion. I have faith you'll bounce pack quickly though. I just worry about ya I'm sure a lot of people do. Just us internet buds lol. You've got this sis💕
There are HUGE risks with central lines AND tpn. It is not something that should be done until it is your LAST hope. Please don’t judge doctors or any of her medical teams decisions until you’re fully informed or have a degree.
Stephanie Halvorson exactly! people act like they’re specialists on nutrition and TPN, not realizing how much risk comes with it. It’s absolutely last resort.
I completely understand why you are so scared. I am too. I have a PICC line, and I will say that I put it off for months, and was so worried. . . it felt like the first step along a journey to being truly ill and disabled. But once I had it (and it's been over 2 1/2 years), and when I was able to treat myself at home, it made a huge difference and I wondered why I hadn't done it before. Hopefully that'll be the same way you'll feel. I have MCAS and probably POTS along with a bunch of other autoimmune diseases. Life when you are ill all the time is so hard. My heart aches for you, for all of us going through chronic illness.
Maybe it was Gift Gowns? I know yo can customize pretty heavily there. Etsy has a lot of options as well, and often it's chronically ill people who are looking to make those kinds of things, so you're helping them :)
Omg! You are so strong. You've got this! Pausing education is super hard. I had to stop uni and it sucked. In one day the life I knew ended. I've moved on, but I wonder what could have been... I hope you start your journey to a healthy body. Blue fingers, that's scary. You should do a video on mal nutrition. Many people think they know what it is, but you've bought the t-shirt. Best of luck to you. Your dad is super funny in the wc.
Oh sweetie!! It breaks my heart to see how thin you are and how much you feel bad About bit. In a few months you Will gain weight sweetie and please don’t be angry on yourself because you did everything you can!! I Will pray for you that everything Goes okay now! ❤️
You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I am so sorry you have to go through this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You help so many people get through their days with the information you share. You hold your head high and be proud of the beautiful person you are.
Thank you for your bright light. Truly an angel. I got a port and now I have to have it removed 3 months after cause its irritating my body. I'm refreshing myself with your videos on Hickman lines cause thats my only other option. Miss you so much you ❤ but I know you're flying high.
I am rewatching all your vlogs not in order just what ever comes up. U have come so far since here and I am proud of u. I had to delete my facebook, my instagrams and all my youtube videos cause of a hater/ stalker site. I am going through social media withdrawal.
Ugh Amy sending you so much love. I just got my port last Monday and they didn't put me under general and the sedation and lidocaine didn't work on me either. Thanks EDS. I hope TPN helps you gain the weight
Thank you for documenting your journey! My boyfriend also has gastroparesis (among several other GI illnesses) and it’s not something you see a lot of videos on. You’re spreading awareness and we appreciate it!
What you talked in the beginning about not recognizing yourself in the mirror I totally understand it. I’m trans and I’m diagnosed with gender dysphoria, this is a condition where the way that your biological sex is reflected on your body doesn’t match your gender. It’s like living in the body of a stranger, I hate what I see in the mirror and I wish I could change it. Sometimes it can be similar to body dysmorphia which is a condition that anorexic and bulimic ppl have, even though they might be skinny they see themselves totally different. I’m ftm (female to male) and I always try to dress and act more masculine to help me cope with my dysphoria, but even though I might look like a dude my mind always tells me I am never going to be one and that I look like a girl. It’s hard and I totally get you are feeling. Sending all my love
My heart breaks for you😫 I’ve only started watching your vlogs and can I just say you are so strong and beautiful, you don’t deserve to go through this. You come across so positive, don’t ever apologise for feeling overwhelmed. You are handling this better than most ever could. Sending all my love ❤️
Amy, I’m here for you. I know we’ve never met, but I love to think we’re friends. I’m wishing you all the luck in the world. Never be ashamed of who you are. Wear everything with honor, you’re weight, you’re heart everything.
i really love your videos, i'm a 13 currently suffering with severe anxiety, and crohn's disease. I've never really had a hickman line, but i've had a pic line in the hospital before! I really hope you're better because i know how it feels to be in the hospital a lot. I've actually recently had surgery in august and i've had a great recovery!
You got this .. try and loop the line under the dressing once your trained if your line is long enough we have to with my 2 year olds ... lloyds pharmacy who will deliver your PN are amazing your gonna get your own fridge for the PN and the heprin ..
I don't know what it's like to have your condition, I'm not going to pretend or assume, but one thing I do know: Hospitals. I fucking hate them. I'm a type 1, Juvenile, Brittle, Diabetic so just like you, I basically lived at hospitals. Your attitude towards them honestly gives me hope, because all I do when I'm there is sleep 'cause I'm so fucking bored. They never let me leave my room when I'm there, and although I have the luxury of a nice one (Because of my health insurance) I just fall asleep watching TV. I hope to whatever you worship (Or don't) that you gain some weight again. I've been trying to follow your journey to the best of my abilities, and silently support you and your life. Just know that your fans love you, and most likely are willing to do a lot for you. ♥♥♥♥♥♥
For anyone that views this- if body image makes showering difficult for you, try showering with the lights off. I find it super soothing actually, and significantly less risk of an unsightly sight of my body. Arrange your products in the order you use them so you don't have to worry about grabbing the wrong thing, and shower in peace!
omg I am underweight since forever and I always look at my bones and feel fear that I am losing weight,I always have to overeat not to lose weight,its just my genetics,my dad was like that too,but I do have lots of food sensitivites so my diet is pretty limited
Amy I am sending so so much love to you! I hate seeing you so ill, I hope TPN helps you get better soon. I don't really know what it is, but if its going to help you then thats all that matters! Stay strong girly! xx
I cannot believe you got to the point of looking so frail, so skinny and unwell to get this treatment! I hope there are more options for you and you start to feel better. I am so sorry for you feeling crappy. Great videos though, well done for the upkeep :)
I’ve 100% felt each placement too. EDS causing issues getting numb, metabolizing pain meds and sedation improperly and reacting to meds like antibiotics- the pain is real and placement is literal torture. I am only able to cope by listening to music with my headphones in the procedure room. They won’t put me under. I’ve literally avoided watching this video for over a year because my Hickman and port placements have been that traumatic.
I know this was filmed awhile ago but you have every right to to be in a thoughtful mood contemplating everything up till then and what the future will be like. I have to admit when you showed your nails being blue it was startling.
Im so sorry. I understand not feeling like you feel that your body isnt yours but know that you are beautiful and valued. Please don’t feel bad! ❤️❤️❤️
I know how you feel about how your weight makes you feel like you are not yourself... Im kind of in the same position but my situation is that ive gained as much weight as i used to be because of my health and i just dont recognize myself and i just hate it....
All the best, you are the bravest and inspiration to many others, don't let yourself get down, you are doing awesome, loads of love and good health to you❤
Ah any I just want to give you a cuddle. I was so shocked to see how much weight you've lost. I am hoping and praying for you that you gain the weight back through tpn. Stay strong xc
i used to have a body very close to that when i was struggling with eating. i used to really want a body exatly like yours here and it kinda scares me. im sorry you feel bad and i hope you'll gain te weight back. you are such a beautiful person.
I know how you feel when you're like "how has it gotten this bad?". I had really bad scoliosis and when they started recommending spinal surgery to me I thought there was so way I was that bad and at that point to start taking extreme medical intervention. But once I did, I look back and see how bad it was and how misfigured I was because of my spine. I'm also super underweight and always have been. But since starting birth control for my acne and getting a full time job where i'm eating more regular full meals I've started to gain weight and its been amazing. I know how it feels so hate being able to see your bones and people think you have an eating disorder. Its not a nice thing to go through. Sending you lots of love
Bless your heart! Your a strong girl just want to bring you flowers and a bug hug! Sending love stay strong! Praying you'll get better and get out of the hospital soon
Honey that’s terrible. Really hope you feel better. It’s just awful to see how far they’ve let this go. But skinny or not you are absolutely beautiful. Remember that.
I found your channel 2 days ago and have been binge watching it and have seen current ones then this one...and OMG! You are so thin in this video compared to the more current ones. Praying for you sweetheart! Love from Texas USA🥰❤️
I know this is all scary and overwhelming. It's a lot to take in all at once. Just remember, you are strong and loved very much! Now, meaning to have a chat about advocating for your self. It is much easier for the doctors and nurses to use local anesthetic and light IV sedation. It is not easier for the patient. wWhen do you have to have multiple painful treatments or tests it can be very overwhelming and psychologically taxing, especially when you have doctors or nurses acting like the procedure is no "big" deal. I waited way way way longer than I should have to start speaking up for myself. When I started talking to others, I learned that it wasn't the only one experiencing the feelings I was having. When you have so many painful procedures without proper comfort measures, you will get to a point that you can't take anymore and don't care what procedure is needed. So, when asking nicely for more sedation or pain control doesn't work, try to sit up and just Keep saying stop,im done. I don't want it. I can guarantee you they will give you something that will work quick. Don't look at it as being a bad patient. You need to look at it more as psychological preservation which, unfortunately, many doctors overlook in their day-to-day practice for patients with complex medical needs. intestinal failure is very serious as you know and very very important that you are happy with and heard by the medical professionals caring for that. Even if you are happy with the team caring for that now, check into other programs in the area and ask questions and see what their recomendations for you are. Then decide where to go from there.Hang in there and remember you will be home soon!
I hate hospital gowns too!! They are terrible!! I love it when you say “One size fits all!” Lol! You are such an amazing young woman! It’s so great that you can still laugh at things!! I wish there was anything we could do to make your day better!! Much Love from America!!!
You Are Brave and Strong And you will have a great life what your facing does not define who you are what it does show is how incredible and amazing you are you face all this head on when we can see how ill you are and how hard it is on you emotionally and i know the physical pain you must be in is horrendous but you smile through pain and illness pls remember how beautiful and strong you are sending hugs from uk xxxxxxxxx
Just I wanted to let you know you not alone in the feeling like that way and struggling in the shower. I was like that and struggling still to persuade the doctors that some intervention need to be done. Final last week they agreed and I got my NG place stop any more weight lost. Keep going Amy you a strong person and we all have you back.
I don't normally comment, but I've been watching your vids. I just teared up when you were talking about your weight and showed us how thin youve gotten! Many prayers for you from the USA!!
My hair is falling out too at the front. It upsets me so much cause it’s almost the size of my foam right at the front of my hair line... I hope you’re doing better
Looking at one of your newest videos talking about your pants being too small, im so glad you gained weight and are looking way way healthier a year later❤
Literally just started watching your channel today and I’m watching your journey and your literally such a strong person I’m still don’t exactly understand your case but I know enough from watching so far that you are so strong 💪🏼 ❤️
Girl you got this u are so strong and you will get through it . So what if your skinny you be you and that’s the best us viewers could ever ask for keep goingXxxx💕💕💕
I’m sorry to hear you were in so much pain during the procedure but thankfully it’s completed and your body can begin receiving the badly needed nutrition. Your body looks so frail. Hope you get to feeling better soon!!!!
I just noticed ur Aussie to hun I know some of the pain u go through I have had 22nd ops coming up to 23 for my heart angiogram ur doing so well love your videos xx
I feel you so much on the hair. So much has fallen out. And the pins and needles which of course is bc of the potassium. I am lucky the potassium powder that I take at home has kept that at bay. Between that and the B12 deficiency from the mthfr gene mutation........it all sucks.
Is medical marijuana legal there? I noticed that it really seemed to help another girl; especially with appetite and nausea, and with some pain. Though I know it’s not a cure all. Just wondering.
Hey I just came across your channel , and I would love to get to know you. I myself need Tpn aswell . I been on Tpn my whole life,22years . Hope you see this . Stay strong girlie xoxoxo
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I Carnt believe watching this now and thinking she’s now at peace and without pain rip amy
watching this after finding out Amy passed away is awful she was a strong amazing person. Watching her be scared hurts my heart I hope her family can grieve and never forget how amazing she was and how much she impacted so many people.
Omg. TPN helped me gain 40 pounds in four months. It’s a life saver.
Same... I gained 70 pounds in a year... TPNs save your life
She knows. She is smart. She is a nurse, and with this videos she earn heavy money. I need more help, i dont have job, I'm alone, and do not have money, for live.
As someone with an eating disorder, it’s so...refreshing? Idk if that’s the right word. It helps give some perspective to someone like me, who has one set perspective on a certain thing. She didn’t have a choice in being this thin and so many strive for it. So much respect and love for this sweet girl.
Please start eating and drinking water juices anything you want me cry Amy Fisher
So weird, but as someone with an ED, i am thinner than Amy and I don't see her as thin at all! She looks normal to me.
She has ED, it induced her GP
420savage this comment is over a year old and i’ve been watching her for about two years now so i know, but thanks?
@@dancingmonkey1712 she doesn't have an eating disorder, she has EDS which caused the GP.
Watching her helped me to diagnose my own gastroparesis. Miss her spark.
This pains me so much to see you like this! I just went off my TPN and had my G-Tube removed. I had a huge abdominal surgery and complications with Crohn’s Disease. I was only on it for 2 months. Now attempting to feed myself is so difficult and I miss the TPN...never thought I would say those words. It truly is a lifesaver! I can totally identify with seeing yourself in the mirror and knowing this not how you are supposed to look! I have found so much comfort in your videos and knowing I am not alone! Thank you for being so open about your condition and helping those of us who are too self conscious to post ours! Always wishing you the best!
Nicholas Garcia Hay man, I was in hospital for the best part of a year a couple of years back - after Crohn’s disease complications left me with a perforated intestine. Was admitted on the 22nd December and was in surgery on Xmas day where they cut out an 11 inch section of my intestine. The recovery didn’t go too well and I went from my usual 13 stone down to just 7 stone in 3 months. Non stop feed for months and no solid food at all is really, really tough.
I honestly felt like I was DISAPPEARING.
The first time I was allowed food in months, I could only handle soup, jelly and ice cream for a few weeks. But when I got given the go ahead to order a proper meal, I ate too much and ended up stretching my stomach and was in so much pain I was prescribed fentanyl patches and needed round the clock morphine injections.
And another 3 weeks without food. I hated how I looked by now and was so depressed. But gradually started eating and gaining weight again. All in all I was in hospital for 8 1/2 months !!
All better now though but damn, I won’t forget that year in a hurry. One side effect that still lingers is how the ileostomy works - if I miss a meal or have an early dinner then sleep in late, the lack of food quickly makes me really ill again and I continuously wretch until I do eat something. But have changed my life around and I eventually feel like it’s behind me at last.
Most people don’t realize how serious Crohn’s disease can be.
Hope you are all better too ✌️
can we admire her and how amazing she is. shes going through so much and is obvs having self-esteem issues and shes still posting and still fighting strong this is what kids should look up to not kim k
My question would be how did the doctors let you get to this point. I just don't understand. You're so young to be going through all of this. I hope the tpn works and you start to feel better soon. Hang in there and just concentrate on getting well. Everything else will fall into place. College will be there when you are ready. Just take care of you right now.
nothing worked
Gastroparesis is a stubborn disease. It’s always one of the main goals to try to get nutrition the most natural ways. TPN is the last resort and they want to avoid it if possible. It’s a disease of ups and downs.
I'm thinking maybe cause the medical system loves to wait till you’re basically dead before they’ll take action. I’ve been to the er countless times for severe stomach pain and vomiting and I was crying begging for help. All the did was give me mylanta and said the only way they’d give me a scope is if I was bleeding out. Gotta love em 🙄
Your so thin........breaks my heart...I'm praying amy. You got this...LET THE WEIGHT GAINING BEGIN!!
**You're
Put some pediasure in and it will make you gain weight
Hun, don’t hate the way you look!! You can’t help it’ like I said before, don’t get use to it coz your gonna get better soon. Your loved so much, and your heart is so kind and sweet. Hang in there xoxo
We have different health issues, for me it's cancer. I've been approved for TPN because my weight got so low and I was malnourished. Luckily I dug my way out without needing it yet. I have a central line. I also scared the shit out of myself because I caught a view of myself in my peripheral vision and I looked skeletal. I was terrified. My husband has also had to be on TPN for horrible medical reasons and today he's ok. It's a tool to help you right now, use it. You're incredibly strong and it'll be okay, the TPN will help you get stronger. Sending you well encouragement and well wishes.
Danielle Rom I hope you are better my prayers are with you
@@adventurekitty7581 thank you❣ unfortunately im terminal, so it's good days and bad days.
I wish you strength, support & love through you & your husband's journey.
Much love & peace xx
@@GFINHK thank you ❣
@@daniellerom4529 hope there is more good days than bad days,wish you all the best:)))
What a beautiful person she was. I always think about her. So sorry.
I'm pissed that they just kept telling you that there was a certain weight that would be when they would intervene. And then they just let you get this malnourished. I feel like they should have done something quicker in my opinion. I have faith you'll bounce pack quickly though. I just worry about ya I'm sure a lot of people do. Just us internet buds lol. You've got this sis💕
Lainie Beck They did her so wrong
😔
There are HUGE risks with central lines AND tpn. It is not something that should be done until it is your LAST hope. Please don’t judge doctors or any of her medical teams decisions until you’re fully informed or have a degree.
They put a calorie count on me and that's why i had a feeding tube in my stomach and nasals boy it hurts like hell
Stephanie Halvorson exactly! people act like they’re specialists on nutrition and TPN, not realizing how much risk comes with it. It’s absolutely last resort.
Babe look back at this now you’ve come so far in yourself amy❤️ soooooo proud of you ❤️
Your poor blue fingers! I didn’t know malnutrition could do that. Is it from being anemic? I’m so glad you are getting nutrition now.
DarkBlue Matter - slow/poor circulation causes the blue lips and fingers and malnutrition is sadly a big cause of it.😰
Kelly Cannon that’s terrible. Thank you for explaining.
The same thing happened to me (not as dark though)
Not having enough iron can lead to blue lips and fingers to since iron helps transport oxygen.
I completely understand why you are so scared. I am too. I have a PICC line, and I will say that I put it off for months, and was so worried. . . it felt like the first step along a journey to being truly ill and disabled. But once I had it (and it's been over 2 1/2 years), and when I was able to treat myself at home, it made a huge difference and I wondered why I hadn't done it before. Hopefully that'll be the same way you'll feel. I have MCAS and probably POTS along with a bunch of other autoimmune diseases. Life when you are ill all the time is so hard. My heart aches for you, for all of us going through chronic illness.
Christina Doherty, she makes youtube vlogs, had a custom hospital gown made. It fits her quite well. You might want to ask her where she got it.
Maybe it was Gift Gowns? I know yo can customize pretty heavily there. Etsy has a lot of options as well, and often it's chronically ill people who are looking to make those kinds of things, so you're helping them :)
I'm so proud of you you look amazing now, in 2020. I'm glad TPN made all the diffrence
Good luck Amy.. I have a Hickman line since 18 December 2017, more than 14 months and still in use for Venesection. hope you get better soon
Omg! You are so strong. You've got this! Pausing education is super hard. I had to stop uni and it sucked. In one day the life I knew ended. I've moved on, but I wonder what could have been... I hope you start your journey to a healthy body. Blue fingers, that's scary. You should do a video on mal nutrition. Many people think they know what it is, but you've bought the t-shirt. Best of luck to you. Your dad is super funny in the wc.
Oh sweetie!! It breaks my heart to see how thin you are and how much you feel bad About bit. In a few months you Will gain weight sweetie and please don’t be angry on yourself because you did everything you can!! I Will pray for you that everything Goes okay now! ❤️
You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I am so sorry you have to go through this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You help so many people get through their days with the information you share. You hold your head high and be proud of the beautiful person you are.
Thank you for your bright light. Truly an angel. I got a port and now I have to have it removed 3 months after cause its irritating my body. I'm refreshing myself with your videos on Hickman lines cause thats my only other option. Miss you so much you ❤ but I know you're flying high.
She....in pain but always had that sparkle of brightness in her eyes! What an amazing, brave girl and she is terribly missed.🙁💕
Your dad made you laugh for a while, bravo great for him and you!! :D
I am rewatching all your vlogs not in order just what ever comes up. U have come so far since here and I am proud of u. I had to delete my facebook, my instagrams and all my youtube videos cause of a hater/ stalker site. I am going through social media withdrawal.
We are all here for you! You will get through this! I'm praying for you! My mom went through TPN it will be okay in the long run. We love you!
So so happy everything went ok.. Your one tough individual.. You can always vent to us.. We'll listen.. ❤❤ Love you..
The numbing didn’t work for my
Picline. I was so upset. I think your procedure was way more painful than mine. Your so strong ❣️
Ugh Amy sending you so much love. I just got my port last Monday and they didn't put me under general and the sedation and lidocaine didn't work on me either. Thanks EDS. I hope TPN helps you gain the weight
You are a strong person.
Thank you for documenting your journey! My boyfriend also has gastroparesis (among several other GI illnesses) and it’s not something you see a lot of videos on. You’re spreading awareness and we appreciate it!
What you talked in the beginning about not recognizing yourself in the mirror I totally understand it. I’m trans and I’m diagnosed with gender dysphoria, this is a condition where the way that your biological sex is reflected on your body doesn’t match your gender. It’s like living in the body of a stranger, I hate what I see in the mirror and I wish I could change it. Sometimes it can be similar to body dysmorphia which is a condition that anorexic and bulimic ppl have, even though they might be skinny they see themselves totally different. I’m ftm (female to male) and I always try to dress and act more masculine to help me cope with my dysphoria, but even though I might look like a dude my mind always tells me I am never going to be one and that I look like a girl. It’s hard and I totally get you are feeling. Sending all my love
My heart breaks for you😫 I’ve only started watching your vlogs and can I just say you are so strong and beautiful, you don’t deserve to go through this. You come across so positive, don’t ever apologise for feeling overwhelmed. You are handling this better than most ever could. Sending all my love ❤️
Amy,
I’m here for you. I know we’ve never met, but I love to think we’re friends. I’m wishing you all the luck in the world. Never be ashamed of who you are. Wear everything with honor, you’re weight, you’re heart everything.
I hated my Hickman it just got in the way of everything I love even though it helped save my life ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
i really love your videos, i'm a 13 currently suffering with severe anxiety, and crohn's disease. I've never really had a hickman line, but i've had a pic line in the hospital before! I really hope you're better because i know how it feels to be in the hospital a lot. I've actually recently had surgery in august and i've had a great recovery!
You got this .. try and loop the line under the dressing once your trained if your line is long enough we have to with my 2 year olds ... lloyds pharmacy who will deliver your PN are amazing your gonna get your own fridge for the PN and the heprin ..
I don't know what it's like to have your condition, I'm not going to pretend or assume, but one thing I do know: Hospitals. I fucking hate them. I'm a type 1, Juvenile, Brittle, Diabetic so just like you, I basically lived at hospitals.
Your attitude towards them honestly gives me hope, because all I do when I'm there is sleep 'cause I'm so fucking bored. They never let me leave my room when I'm there, and although I have the luxury of a nice one (Because of my health insurance) I just fall asleep watching TV.
I hope to whatever you worship (Or don't) that you gain some weight again. I've been trying to follow your journey to the best of my abilities, and silently support you and your life.
Just know that your fans love you, and most likely are willing to do a lot for you. ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Yay TPN has started ..today is the start of gaining your life back ..we are all here for you anytime your feeling down ❤️❤️
I’m praying for you it’s honestly breaks my heart your so positive and have a amazing personality .
Miss watching your dreams come true .RIP🌷hang in there mom dad sister and Tom your going to need time keep yourself busy.😇
"it doesn't feel like it's me". It's been traumatic. You said the same thing later on... months later when tpn had added weight
I just want to cry. Your poor poor body. I'm so glad to see your newer videos that your looking so much better.
For anyone that views this- if body image makes showering difficult for you, try showering with the lights off. I find it super soothing actually, and significantly less risk of an unsightly sight of my body. Arrange your products in the order you use them so you don't have to worry about grabbing the wrong thing, and shower in peace!
omg I am underweight since forever and I always look at my bones and feel fear that I am losing weight,I always have to overeat not to lose weight,its just my genetics,my dad was like that too,but I do have lots of food sensitivites so my diet is pretty limited
Amy I am sending so so much love to you! I hate seeing you so ill, I hope TPN helps you get better soon. I don't really know what it is, but if its going to help you then thats all that matters! Stay strong girly! xx
I cannot believe you got to the point of looking so frail, so skinny and unwell to get this treatment! I hope there are more options for you and you start to feel better. I am so sorry for you feeling crappy. Great videos though, well done for the upkeep :)
I’ve 100% felt each placement too. EDS causing issues getting numb, metabolizing pain meds and sedation improperly and reacting to meds like antibiotics- the pain is real and placement is literal torture. I am only able to cope by listening to music with my headphones in the procedure room. They won’t put me under. I’ve literally avoided watching this video for over a year because my Hickman and port placements have been that traumatic.
I know this was filmed awhile ago but you have every right to to be in a thoughtful mood contemplating everything up till then and what the future will be like.
I have to admit when you showed your nails being blue it was startling.
Im so sorry. I understand not feeling like you feel that your body isnt yours but know that you are beautiful and valued. Please don’t feel bad! ❤️❤️❤️
I know how you feel about how your weight makes you feel like you are not yourself... Im kind of in the same position but my situation is that ive gained as much weight as i used to be because of my health and i just dont recognize myself and i just hate it....
I remember this day so well and how excited I was for you :( I miss you so much
All the best, you are the bravest and inspiration to many others, don't let yourself get down, you are doing awesome, loads of love and good health to you❤
Ah any I just want to give you a cuddle. I was so shocked to see how much weight you've lost. I am hoping and praying for you that you gain the weight back through tpn. Stay strong xc
*Amy
i used to have a body very close to that when i was struggling with eating. i used to really want a body exatly like yours here and it kinda scares me. im sorry you feel bad and i hope you'll gain te weight back. you are such a beautiful person.
You are strong girl!!! Keep your head up beautiful!!
Malnutrition sucks. I was in hospital for an eating disorder for 4 months. I also have POTS EDS and Gastroparesis and it just sucks.
I know how you feel when you're like "how has it gotten this bad?". I had really bad scoliosis and when they started recommending spinal surgery to me I thought there was so way I was that bad and at that point to start taking extreme medical intervention. But once I did, I look back and see how bad it was and how misfigured I was because of my spine. I'm also super underweight and always have been. But since starting birth control for my acne and getting a full time job where i'm eating more regular full meals I've started to gain weight and its been amazing. I know how it feels so hate being able to see your bones and people think you have an eating disorder. Its not a nice thing to go through. Sending you lots of love
Bless your heart! Your a strong girl just want to bring you flowers and a bug hug!
Sending love stay strong!
Praying you'll get better and get out of the hospital soon
Honey that’s terrible. Really hope you feel better. It’s just awful to see how far they’ve let this go. But skinny or not you are absolutely beautiful. Remember that.
I cried a little, I feel some of your pain, I couldn't stand my lowest weight, I'm so glad you're so much better
I found your channel 2 days ago and have been binge watching it and have seen current ones then this one...and OMG! You are so thin in this video compared to the more current ones. Praying for you sweetheart! Love from Texas USA🥰❤️
I know this is all scary and overwhelming. It's a lot to take in all at once. Just remember, you are strong and loved very much! Now, meaning to have a chat about advocating for your self. It is much easier for the doctors and nurses to use local anesthetic and light IV sedation. It is not easier for the patient. wWhen do you have to have multiple painful treatments or tests it can be very overwhelming and psychologically taxing, especially when you have doctors or nurses acting like the procedure is no "big" deal. I waited way way way longer than I should have to start speaking up for myself. When I started talking to others, I learned that it wasn't the only one experiencing the feelings I was having. When you have so many painful procedures without proper comfort measures, you will get to a point that you can't take anymore and don't care what procedure is needed. So, when asking nicely for more sedation or pain control doesn't work, try to sit up and just Keep saying stop,im done. I don't want it. I can guarantee you they will give you something that will work quick. Don't look at it as being a bad patient. You need to look at it more as psychological preservation which, unfortunately, many doctors overlook in their day-to-day practice for patients with complex medical needs. intestinal failure is very serious as you know and very very important that you are happy with and heard by the medical professionals caring for that. Even if you are happy with the team caring for that now, check into other programs in the area and ask questions and see what their recomendations for you are. Then decide where to go from there.Hang in there and remember you will be home soon!
Stay strong Amy keep moving
Keep lookinh forward and find a light of hope
Wish you feel better soon
Lots of hugs❣️
God is with you . We are with you
My dad had a Hickman line but it wasn’t in his chest it was in his arm best of luck Amy, that stuff should really help you.
Raven Thunder it would be a PICC line then, not a Hickman..
Marieke D ur absolutely right, that was a bad time for me I block it out
I hate hospital gowns too!! They are terrible!! I love it when you say “One size fits all!” Lol! You are such an amazing young woman! It’s so great that you can still laugh at things!! I wish there was anything we could do to make your day better!! Much Love from America!!!
You Are Brave and Strong And you will have a great life what your facing does not define who you are what it does show is how incredible and amazing you are you face all this head on when we can see how ill you are and how hard it is on you emotionally and i know the physical pain you must be in is horrendous but you smile through pain and illness pls remember how beautiful and strong you are sending hugs from uk xxxxxxxxx
Oh Amy! I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Just I wanted to let you know you not alone in the feeling like that way and struggling in the shower. I was like that and struggling still to persuade the doctors that some intervention need to be done. Final last week they agreed and I got my NG place stop any more weight lost. Keep going Amy you a strong person and we all have you back.
Youre one of the strongest persons i know. Stay strong Amy ♡
Sending strength and love 💗
I don't normally comment, but I've been watching your vids. I just teared up when you were talking about your weight and showed us how thin youve gotten! Many prayers for you from the USA!!
My hair is falling out too at the front. It upsets me so much cause it’s almost the size of my foam right at the front of my hair line... I hope you’re doing better
Looking at one of your newest videos talking about your pants being too small, im so glad you gained weight and are looking way way healthier a year later❤
You are one tough young lady , keep fighting you beauty 💪🏻💕
Literally just started watching your channel today and I’m watching your journey and your literally such a strong person I’m still don’t exactly understand your case but I know enough from watching so far that you are so strong 💪🏼 ❤️
I thought she was like normal skinny but when I saw how skinny she rlly I was shocked!
Girl you got this u are so strong and you will get through it . So what if your skinny you be you and that’s the best us viewers could ever ask for keep goingXxxx💕💕💕
I got a Hickman line on Tuesday this week as well.. ive been in hospital 23 days for sepsis.. ugh it sucks... sending u love from Florida
i am praying for you and i am really hoping for your mental health and everything gets better.
You are a gem in this world
You will feel so much better!
It will be ok hun. Much love and many prayers ♥️
So brave
Your so strong Amy ❤️ I just noticed when you looked out the hospital window that I go past there all the time. I go to uni just down the road
U are so beautiful and strong 😭♥️ and I'm not just saying it out of pitty u are truly gorgeous and amazing ❣
P.S. Don’t EVER give up hope!!
Omg wow amy your like 6 stone or something like that :( lets hope your tpn works and you can put on weight soon hope your surgery goes ok x
I’m sorry to hear you were in so much pain during the procedure but thankfully it’s completed and your body can begin receiving the badly needed nutrition. Your body looks so frail. Hope you get to feeling better soon!!!!
Omg Amy I believe in you hun I hope that you get better soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your such a strong independent person and you inspire me so much keep your chin up you'll get through this xoxo
get well soon amy from malaysia.always see your video.pray for you
You are very strong person 💪🏼
I just noticed ur Aussie to hun I know some of the pain u go through I have had 22nd ops coming up to 23 for my heart angiogram ur doing so well love your videos xx
jc jc she’s British living in Australia
I feel you so much on the hair. So much has fallen out. And the pins and needles which of course is bc of the potassium. I am lucky the potassium powder that I take at home has kept that at bay. Between that and the B12 deficiency from the mthfr gene mutation........it all sucks.
Is medical marijuana legal there? I noticed that it really seemed to help another girl; especially with appetite and nausea, and with some pain. Though I know it’s not a cure all. Just wondering.
It is legal I think in certain states but it's very hard to get
Jade no it’s not... it’s a class b drug but it has been approved for medical use in very strict situations that will hopefully get better in time
Hey I just came across your channel , and I would love to get to know you. I myself need Tpn aswell . I been on Tpn my whole life,22years . Hope you see this . Stay strong girlie xoxoxo
Thinking of you , your amazing girl you really are , an inspiration to others , hugs n love xxx