Adult friendships be like...

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  • Опубликовано: 9 янв 2025

Комментарии • 147

  • @Estherkalenzi
    @Estherkalenzi 2 года назад +46

    Another great show, on a topic dear to my heart.
    It is really important for us to put ourselves in other's shoes generally and definitely that much more in friendships.
    You cancelled on someone because something came up but when they do the same you are mad and can't speak to them for days 🤔
    Why was it okay for you and not for them?
    We all have different schedules and responsibilities, finances etc.
    If you're thriving, someone else might not be.
    If you are struggling, they could be struggling too. Listen. See the signs. Understand.
    This brings me to communication, communication, communication.
    Many times we expect our friends to have telepathy amidst adulting nebigenderako. Between a pandemic and war plus everything else, you want your friend to read between the lines of a passive aggressive text you sent?😩
    Express your joy at the ways they have loved you, explain your discomfort when it occurs, and in real time (not bringing up a list after 15-40 business days). You will find that a situation could have been completely misunderstood while you're seething, losing precious time on petty fights.
    And finally let's meet one another half way.
    I loved the example of calls and messages.
    Some people get phone call anxiety, others use whatsapp for work as well and sometimes personal messages get lost in the mix; people are dealing with all kinds of conditions affecting their mental health.
    Let's find out what works for our friends and not guilt trip them for being who they are.
    Let's end this essay here for now🏃🏾‍♀️

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад

      I agree with you totally. Adult friendships are a lot of work. Aloooot of work. And you need to be willing to do the work on yourself most importantly. You need to start there. Are you being entitled? Are you asking for too much? Are you willing to understand that people are going through something?
      Adult friendships are about extending grace. To yourself and to others. Always. Always.

    • @palitodeegash
      @palitodeegash 2 года назад +2

      Find out what works for our friends and not guilt trip them for being who they are 📌 📌 thaattttt hit home... thanks Esther...your essay is wisdom filled

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +1

      Not you continuing to be be my role model. Yes! I really like that communication thing in my life. Me as me, I don't let people have to guess. Its nice to just hear what you need or what's wrong etc. This expectation of telepathy? Issa no.

    • @Estherkalenzi
      @Estherkalenzi 2 года назад

      @@nyonyoziprim Yess! This grace should be a constant.

    • @Estherkalenzi
      @Estherkalenzi 2 года назад +1

      @@palitodeegash I am glad! Thank you.

  • @mulamuzidaisy439
    @mulamuzidaisy439 2 года назад +28

    But Fiona is honestly those friends... Extremely intentional, silent but fierce. Very enigmatic because you wont see her coming but she will be there!!!!
    Great talk ladies.

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +2

      Awww thanks hun ❤ SAME!!! Thanks for watching

  • @mercyapolot7757
    @mercyapolot7757 2 года назад +8

    I love how different each of your personalities are but you interact with each other so seamlessly.

  • @sammie1919
    @sammie1919 2 года назад +10

    As a chilled, introverted, shy and social awkward person its interesting how i have also felt like have to shrink mysel😂 I have always been told talk more, be out there more blah blah and i for a very long time even now some times wish i was loud and out there and even put myself in situations that affected my mental health just to be accepted yet nga even the loud ones are being told to reduce. I could really relate when you talked about people calling you difficult when you are just quiet. Anyway i do really believe in being yourself and your people will find you. Ofcourse we all need to improve in certain areas in our lives but those improvements should not be at the expense of the core parts of you that make you who you are. Love love love you guys. I'm so glad you guys are doing this.

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +1

      I hear you, Sammie. Self improvement is so important. It just shouldn't be at the expense of who we are ❤

    • @Flourish_today
      @Flourish_today 2 года назад +3

      You good. I don't know what's wrong with society. Us introverts are unique individuals but our society does not understand this. For me, I'm confident in my introverted ways and I refused to apologize for wanting to go home early because the human noises around me.

  • @n.w.2757
    @n.w.2757 2 года назад +5

    This conversation was so true. Adult friendships also require the tough conversation about what level of friend we are with each other.

  • @est4084
    @est4084 2 года назад +1

    One thing I like about this is the way you are able to listen to one another without talking over each other.it’s a sign of respect and maturity.

  • @sandrabridget7866
    @sandrabridget7866 2 года назад +7

    Being in my mid 20's I find your conversations very informative am glad I can relate and learn from you all ladies .Thanks

  • @kihembodoreen7368
    @kihembodoreen7368 2 года назад +24

    Omg Prim.. I love you.. Always Rooting for you. I love that we can agree to disagree and still be friends.. But also what I love the most is that we are allowed to change our minds...

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад +5

      Doreen. I didn’t think you would watch this. Gosh thank you. Thank you so much!!

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +4

      Awww look at you guys 🥲

  • @daphineshwanda747
    @daphineshwanda747 2 года назад +4

    I am all for a friendship centric life... & i have to admit navigating grown female friendships is a journey of grace-giving and learning to cut some off for one's mental health sake.

  • @palitodeegash
    @palitodeegash 2 года назад +9

    Know your character and understand yourself...thaaattttt is wisdom. Thank you! I think that with adult friendships because we are evolving and going through so many changing seasons. it takes intentionality cultivating your friendships, extending Grace but also being wise on which relationships to nurture and those to let go. I used to feel so bad when friendships would end and I'd sometimes blame myself but once I made peace with the fact that some friendships are for a season and its okay, it made it easier navigating difficult seasons. But yes it all starts with self awareness and knowing what to cultivate in the garden of your life and what to keep out. Thanks ladies for this episode.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад +1

      Thank you so much for watching. Thank you !! Ah may we have great friendships.

    • @palitodeegash
      @palitodeegash 2 года назад

      @@nyonyoziprim ♥️♥️may we indeed 🙏🏽

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +1

      Thank you for putting this so well. Self awareness and grace are so key in navigating our friendships

    • @ketrahvanderbaan3743
      @ketrahvanderbaan3743 2 года назад

      Well said. 👌

  • @penelopeanyanzire7301
    @penelopeanyanzire7301 2 года назад +9

    Fiona is my personality😊...I loved this episode.
    Thank you Claire, Prim and Fiona

  • @kenyanaclaire.9577
    @kenyanaclaire.9577 2 года назад +6

    Wow
    I think I needed this, thank you ladies
    And for introverts , we usually have face a comment of "why are you so quiet?"
    This question always makes me feel bad. I don't know how to deal with it

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад

      Oh hun. You needn't feel bad about being you. If you love and accept it, they'll fall in too eventually and even if they dont, you'll be good because you're aware of it and at peace too

  • @tfa4782
    @tfa4782 2 года назад +2

    One thing i realise as a extrovert is i kind of expect a conversation to be taking place most of the time. When people are quiet its kinda wierd for me. Now the down side is i feel like ppl expect me to lead conversation but some times i just want to relax and chill. Same as when someone is on the phone, i realise if i dont initiate the conversation then there wont be any or the call is very short

  • @firandcurly84
    @firandcurly84 2 года назад +2

    Regardless of personality type it doesn't hurt to be considerate it's actually helpful in adult friendships

  • @rabeccanahurira3337
    @rabeccanahurira3337 2 года назад +2

    I relate so much with Prim and Claire. Still on a journey of discovering myself. U can know everything about in the first 20 minutes of our meeting. Used to beat myself up for not being reserved ended up resenting people and becoming a loner, less confident person. I don't know if i can get back to my normal self. I'm so used to being alone now

  • @mpiirasheila6059
    @mpiirasheila6059 2 года назад +8

    Intentionality, being there and extending grace cause adulthood is crazy and you need your friends in this crazy world. Great episode 👌🏾

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад

      It’s alooot. We can’t cut out people for simply not coming to our kids’ baptism

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      Amen, sis. Amen. And thanks for watching ❤

  • @kyezil39
    @kyezil39 2 года назад +3

    There's so much peace in just speaking without holding back.

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      Amen, sis. Just saying how you feel is a huge step in the direction of healing broken things. Thank you for watching

  • @esperanzasmucker3098
    @esperanzasmucker3098 2 года назад +8

    My circle of friends became smaller as I grew more

  • @doreenk.arinawe
    @doreenk.arinawe 2 года назад +1

    Different seasons of life come with evaluating which friends you need around you. Indeed putting friends in tiers is soo wise. It limits disappointment.

  • @tukamushabadoreen1911
    @tukamushabadoreen1911 2 года назад +2

    Adult friendships are so tricky and it’s so hard to adjust to it but just like you said for me it’s just choosing who you think you can be close to and pour into it . Thank you for the beautiful show ladies

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      Couldn't agree more. We choose to be intentional every single day

  • @angellinahatungire3780
    @angellinahatungire3780 2 года назад +3

    7:41 "That process of becoming, there are people ...you are going to just ... you just grow apart..." I needed this video! Thank you, ladies!!!!

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад

      Thank you so much for watching !!

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      I hear that, sis. Becoming is such a loaded journey. Its highs, lows and all the stuff in between. Thanks for watching. We're glad you found something that resonated ❤

  • @jemimahlinzy5038
    @jemimahlinzy5038 2 года назад +2

    Be yourself is it for me, cause while struggling to "get" my friends in these times you just have to be and everything falls in place.

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      amen, sis. Be precisely who you are and focus on becoming, the right things and people will come

  • @norahnovuyo8663
    @norahnovuyo8663 2 года назад +5

    This is a great topic! It is sad that it is my close family that keeps telling me to tone down just because I am loud, the kind who takes charge... It is sad! However, I have learnt to tell people (family) to allow me to be me!

  • @uweraritah402
    @uweraritah402 2 года назад +5

    I have had that issue for a long time. I have my calm moments and my crazy moments of o cant stop talking and making people laugh but am more on the chill side. Some people and my ex would be like am boring i think because i was not as social or as hype as they were and it really made me feel so insecure and unsure of how i should act. Its very funny how we give otjer people so much energy to drain us when ita not even necessary.

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      we really must choose peace. Lets choose to surround ourselves with people that give love and support

  • @Flourish_today
    @Flourish_today 2 года назад +6

    I lost a good good friend because of her wedding. The idea was braids for the maids. They changed to no braiding but did not let me know. I went all the way to Mbale for wedding. Straight to the saloon where we were supposed to all meet when I walked in the brides (myfriend) maid of honor told me I could not be in the wedding because my hair was braided. My friend the mugole did not even look at me. I walked out, went to catch a bus back to Kampala this happened in 2007. I've never seen or spoken to her since then.

  • @mrs.turyamureba4712
    @mrs.turyamureba4712 2 года назад +2

    I am bumping into this page for the first time. This is a great topic. The points of extend grace to your friends and respect eachother's opinions are key highlights for me. Along this path of developing adult friendships I think for me it's "just let people be who they want to be." I am learning to use that and remind myself of that with my friendships.

  • @janeserwanga1281
    @janeserwanga1281 2 года назад +2

    Lots of wisdom and learning from lived experiences. Thank you ladies.

  • @firandcurly84
    @firandcurly84 2 года назад

    It also helps to be thoughtful and considerate regardless of personality type. Similarly to the balance that has to be created in a marriage, one can seek to "balance the personalities" in platonic friendships which involves grace, thoughtfulness, appropriate compromise , acceptance, give and take, honesty, andcompassion etc. An all or nothing approach is not conducive to unity.

  • @blessingbyamugisha
    @blessingbyamugisha 2 года назад +9

    Hi Ladies, thank you for this talk! I've been through tough female friendships- where one of my closest friends loved attention and I was always on the loving side but not matching her attention, if that makes sense. And we fell out quite often and even broke up! We realized our friendship was going to end forever unless we had an open conversation and agreed that we were different but had one thing in common- our love and friendship. So, yeah... then there's those that were so jealous and didn't want me to make other friends- those ended. Anyways, good talk!😀

  • @marthanakittossekitto1921
    @marthanakittossekitto1921 2 года назад +4

    This is such an enlightening conversation. Especially extending grace to our friends.

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      We really need grace. All of us. It's only fair that we extend it as well

  • @kaddumarvian1257
    @kaddumarvian1257 2 года назад

    Sometimes I feel like you girls leave in my head and just see my everything and make shows. It's refreshing and therapeutic.

  • @Rita-km7bl
    @Rita-km7bl 2 года назад +2

    Oh...you couldn't have packaged this information better.... thank you for addressing this very vital piece of information 🙏🏼

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +1

      We really appreciate that, Rita. ❤

  • @cynthiottmar2785
    @cynthiottmar2785 2 года назад +2

    lovely conversation very mature. I am like Fiona :-) With this personality people think/assume ur difficult. With this personality the people we love , we love them like crazy.
    The beautiful lady right from Fiona, i love ur unapologetic opinion :-) the 3 of u are a good team.

  • @paulnyamutale3106
    @paulnyamutale3106 2 года назад +2

    With respect to all of you thanks for the good work you do prim wow

  • @mercyapolot7757
    @mercyapolot7757 2 года назад +2

    Extend grace to your friends. Such an important thing to know.

  • @carolBee2023
    @carolBee2023 2 года назад +5

    Fiona is so much like my daughter. It's like I'm catching a glimpse of who she'll grow up to be. I don't know if that makes sense 🤣

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад

      ❤️ awww makes sense. Those little humans have full-blown personalities that you can identify

  • @roxannenamulondo4727
    @roxannenamulondo4727 2 года назад +1

    I have Claire and kind of Prim's personalities. This has really made me more comfortable because I have the same struggles with Claire. I feel sooooo happy and comforted that I'm not alone

  • @patiencekatusiime9056
    @patiencekatusiime9056 2 года назад +2

    Claire is soo me my life and speech is basically an open book I don't feel like there's something to hide

  • @kabagyeniphionah448
    @kabagyeniphionah448 2 года назад +1

    Let me also say eeehh maamaa to Phionah my namesake lol....
    Your channel is so relatable... Thanks ladies for sharing.

  • @dorisnderitu5986
    @dorisnderitu5986 2 года назад +3

    I relate with prim and Claire on all levels still discovering myself 🤗♥️

  • @chemongesjoel6130
    @chemongesjoel6130 2 года назад +2

    Just because I don’t like your opinion doesn’t mean I don’t like you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
    That’s powerful
    Also, extend your friends some grace. We are all dealing with a lot 🤗🤗

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +1

      Indeed Joel. Indeed. Grace is key for us all

  • @clairesharon9962
    @clairesharon9962 2 года назад +1

    I really loved this episode. So insightful🤩. Thank you ladies

  • @aureliadaisy6918
    @aureliadaisy6918 2 года назад +8

    Thank you Ladies for this topic, I have lost many friends coz of my Personality, Im more of the reserved ones, and the so many times ive been called rude, proud and judgy i cant even mention it... regardless im still open to getting new friends in adulthood ..And yes being intentional is Key.. Much love from Kenya

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад

      So much love, Daisy. Seasons come and go and that happens with friends too. May you find your tribe ❤️

  • @LindaTinahTV
    @LindaTinahTV 2 года назад +1

    I loved this conversation a lot because I am big on good friendships especially among women and the dynamics of my friendships has evolved over the years. Just like Prim and Claire I have a big personality and I am opinionated too. I never really felt bad about it but I have been in situations when I feel like I need to 'tone it down' but now I am in a place where take it or leave it because I know that there are people who can handle my personality and if it's too much for someone else I am also ok with them dropping me.

    • @Flourish_today
      @Flourish_today 2 года назад

      Good in you. We all need to be who we are.

  • @A.F.U-A
    @A.F.U-A 2 года назад +1

    I’ve normalized compartmentalization of my liaisons. I use friend very sparingly.

  • @nakitendejovia8879
    @nakitendejovia8879 2 года назад +3

    Am completely Claire's personality and the struggle is real on my side,people think am defiant, I feel myself too much but that's not the case am just being me.

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      Self awareness is it! Knowing you and embracing it allows you the freedom to be precisely that even when others cannot accept it. Stay bold, hun. Love that for you 🙂

  • @agabavivian4808
    @agabavivian4808 2 года назад +1

    So insightful! Thank you!

  • @Measme30
    @Measme30 2 года назад +2

    I looooove this topic 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @RebeccaAnyoliAlexandria
    @RebeccaAnyoliAlexandria 2 года назад +2

    Am hooked 💜

  • @atuhairejupiter8886
    @atuhairejupiter8886 2 года назад +2

    I love this OMG

  • @KINGANNEvlogs
    @KINGANNEvlogs 2 года назад +2

    So excited for this journey you guys have started❤️

  • @gracenamara2121
    @gracenamara2121 2 года назад

    Clare, Clare , I love you. U r to open minded 😂.
    Love u gals 💕

  • @mamapsalm1980
    @mamapsalm1980 2 года назад +7

    Me am scared to make female friendships TBH. Hopefully I can gain the courage to fall back into that space.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад +3

      There will be amazing people. And when they come, do give them a chance

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад +2

      Yes please❤
      There are some truly beautiful things in the sisterhood of friendship.

  • @ritavivianbeddingsandbeyon6905
    @ritavivianbeddingsandbeyon6905 2 года назад

    This is a very beautiful message

  • @thabisilenondaba54
    @thabisilenondaba54 2 года назад

    Claire is me. I am Claire. 😂😂😂

  • @bonitasprings3479
    @bonitasprings3479 2 года назад

    I think adult friendships everyone know your place and your category in peoples lives... you might think you are close hence have high expectations eg "i should be on the bridal party list", "i should be told when you are pregnant" etcetc and when these expectations are not met you can easily fall out. So know your place

  • @pearlnimusiima4689
    @pearlnimusiima4689 2 года назад +2

    oooouuuuuu i love how the comment section is popping. Well i am glad this is being discussed it definitely will help reflect more on adult friendships .THANKS LADIES, I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL

  • @pamelaatukunda2122
    @pamelaatukunda2122 2 года назад +1

    Secret source......I have a couple couldn't choose.
    1. Boundaries
    2. Intentionality
    3. Grace
    4. Honesty

  • @omisqueens
    @omisqueens 2 года назад

    I just love you gals.sooooooo much

  • @singer.c.619
    @singer.c.619 2 года назад +1

    And the reason am laughing is that the are talking and Phiona has no room to really really talk

  • @kisakyepriscilla8328
    @kisakyepriscilla8328 2 года назад +1

    Extending Grace is so important 😭😭😭😭!

  • @snmar256
    @snmar256 2 года назад +2

    #powerofbeingasaguine😀 that's so me.. OMG!!

  • @serakim1513
    @serakim1513 2 года назад

    I love u guys I wish I had friends like dat as in where will Fiona sleep wow

  • @monicndyamuhimbisa2845
    @monicndyamuhimbisa2845 2 года назад

    Thanks for this topic, I got to be comfortable with who iam

  • @mwebazajoyce3010
    @mwebazajoyce3010 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for this episode....❤

  • @bonitasprings3479
    @bonitasprings3479 2 года назад

    I agree Claire and Prim quiet people can be a bit judgemental and create those awkward moments..

  • @daphinturihohabwe8151
    @daphinturihohabwe8151 2 года назад +1

    Insightful information 👌🏻

  • @elky7
    @elky7 2 года назад

    Am already looking forward to the next topic 🥰🥰🥰

  • @baramassarah5094
    @baramassarah5094 2 года назад

    I can relate this..I HV lost sooo many frds coz of personality

  • @Blossoming_mums
    @Blossoming_mums 2 года назад +1

    This is so relatable

  • @jubinalove9773
    @jubinalove9773 2 года назад +1

    You just won a new follower

  • @Veroblaq
    @Veroblaq 2 года назад

    Claire I am living your life in my time now but you talked about it but what can one do about it ?

  • @Fablyflane
    @Fablyflane 2 года назад

    Lovely episode

  • @maama-ka-chai110
    @maama-ka-chai110 2 года назад +1

    I wouldn't feel sad incase I parted ways with a friend for being me. Because, if I cant be me around my friend then we aren't friends

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      True. True. Acceptance ❤

  • @beckymunezah8943
    @beckymunezah8943 2 года назад +4

    This was very lovely to watch,Iam surprised about Fiona's character....She is my favourite content creator yet IAM a sanguine100%I relate alot with Prim ...But surprisingly on this show I look forward to the part when Fiona gives her opinion( most times it usually feels like she is reading from my script)Yet she is also usually the brief and not so detailed one....😂😂Kwegamba I think there is a warmth to her character which I can't exactly explain that I relate with. Diverse personalities actually make the purest of friendships...

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      awww this warmed our hearts!
      - Thank you, Becky. Warmth is not something people easily see in personalitites such as mine. We can come off a little cold so this made me smile :) and yes, diverse personalities make for great conversations. -Fiona

  • @AW3SOM-3
    @AW3SOM-3 2 года назад

    I relate with prim and Claire and fr some reason it made me feel like I am a nagging character and swiii....I am lowkey an introvert on some days and the "life of the party" on the others😂😂still tryna figure it out

  • @moi7502
    @moi7502 2 года назад

    Prim is so relatable 🥺

  • @bridgetnante4071
    @bridgetnante4071 2 года назад +1

    The intro kadongo is it for me

  • @baramassarah5094
    @baramassarah5094 2 года назад

    Jesos am like u.. thick one .m and open book and people hate it..I can't keep anything

  • @jennifermugisha-
    @jennifermugisha- 2 года назад +2

    Which personality test is that?

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 2 года назад +1

      Claire will come and share about it

    • @kulabd8629
      @kulabd8629 2 года назад

      Try to google the four character traits which has choleric, sanguine, melancholy and phlegm.. I’m sure you will be led to the test in the results.

  • @A.F.U-A
    @A.F.U-A 2 года назад

    Prim is definitely the Ugandan me ❤️❤️

  • @masembeesther1891
    @masembeesther1891 2 года назад

    I think am prim and Claires type of girl

  • @milsasande4595
    @milsasande4595 2 года назад

    No trust cut off

  • @augusta5014
    @augusta5014 2 года назад

    I want to be Fiona's friend, 😅

  • @millykayn2154
    @millykayn2154 2 года назад

    ehh mama🤣🤪

  • @Explorewithfaith-v1d
    @Explorewithfaith-v1d 2 года назад

    Allow us download your videos offline

    • @theunpopularopinionug
      @theunpopularopinionug  2 года назад +1

      sorry about this. We are working on activating this. We are experiencing some backend issues preventing this

  • @hildaninsiima2506
    @hildaninsiima2506 2 года назад +1

    Honestly we judge people because we don’t understand this character thing thank you ladies

    • @fionakemi
      @fionakemi 2 года назад

      We do. Hopefully the more we talk about things, the more we learn and the better we do ❤ thanks for watching

  • @michaelmwinzi3435
    @michaelmwinzi3435 2 года назад

    Fiona is my type 100%. We connect, can I get her contacts please?

  • @vivianbabirye2416
    @vivianbabirye2416 2 года назад

    Am more like claire .

  • @Fablyflane
    @Fablyflane 2 года назад +1

    Lovely episode