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Are there any channels that are entirely *POSITIVE*? Like no negativity in it? Like I met this girl, I did this to show this, and we're happy - like that?
My parents are last borns and have been married for 30 years. They made it work. My mom stuck it out with my dad during poverty and my dad financed her Bachelors degree which turned into a good paying job. Both worked hard all their lives and now I hope to get my masters degree and be responsible to support them in their old age.
It is all about level of awarness and having a group mentality. The order of birth is important but it can work out as long as having the same goal menatality. Wich most modern women don't. Most of them are selfish and have a guide less attitude. "i don't need no man"...... Selfish is the biggest red flagg.
Also women with older brothers are generally used to seeing the independent and rebellious male nature. They accept it, they also get bashed up if they are not submissive, also get protected a lot and are not seen in bad company. All bodes well for LTR
Not necessarily, mine was the 2nd born to a older brother. With two younger brothers under her. While all her brothers play and joke around, she doesn't, she takes what you say to heart, bashes them for being men. Etc. I didn't know any of this until I was with her years down the line and how she saw men in her family. I too thought because she was the only girl of the siblings she'd have more of a sense of humor, know this his how guys are, Play here and there, joke. Naw I got the complete opposite. Oh and she has daddy issues, cause their dad in her eyes gave them all the attention lol
I have seen it both ways. Some girls with older brothers turned into sluts even when they tried to intervene. But in general I feel like having the older brother's is a good thing most of the time.
I got bashed up all the time by my twinbrother. Brothers will correct your behaviour immediately when they don't agree with it. But there's one bad thing about women with older brothers. These women are used to not winning physical fights which can make them manipulative towards men if they really want their way.
I’m an only child and my husband is a last born of 6. We get alone amazing. Most children now are only children. It’s going to get near impossible for them to get along. I also read about that study when I was a kid. Makes so much sense.
I'm 2nd to the last born of 7 kids. Is true, easy going. When dating always let the man lead and no drama. Older sisters more controlling and argue. Thanks Rich!
I discovered this fascinating info... about 27 years too late! I'm oldest & married a firstborn. The most stubborn, hard headed, perfectionist person I've ever known. She's gorgeous- but I can't remember the last time I was actually "at peace" in my own home. Be aware, brothers!!
This is a tangent, but Thomas Sowell talks about birth order in Discrimination and Disparities. He uses this phenomenon to point out how absurd it is to demand there be equity in results between any two groups of people, whether we are talking about race, cultures, sex, etc etc etc. if there are huge disparities between siblings with the same genetics, upbringing, class, values, etc, it’s crazy to expect equity among any other groups you might want to compare.
You brought up birth order in a past video a long time ago and I found it extraordinarily interesting, and I also learned that when the eldest child is parentalized, not only do they behave like somebody that was abused, often times they can't let go of that feeling (to them) of accomplishment to the point that they try to become everybody's parents and we all know that can be very very annoying.
How accurate is this! I'm first born. And my ex was first born girl in hers. We clashed big time but that story is so crazy and long,Rich would raise his eyebrows lol. That relationship was reason I unplugged my self when I discovered Rich. My current GF is youngest of 4. She's 10 years younger than me, Im 37, her 27. She is far more compliant and we get along better and has no reflags other than some smaller tattoos.
Interesting theories. One older brother, one younger, 2 years between each of us. Older brother has always been the least "alpha" out of us by a good margin, with my younger brother and I swapping back and forth for that top spot. My younger brother has always been more of the wildcard though, which does fit what you mentioned of the last born. As the middle child I was the least "trouble" out of the three which also fits. Obviously nothing you can do to change your birth order, but knowing how it may affect you in your interpersonal interactions is valuable.
Interesting. This explains alot with my family. I have two sisters and i'm the first born. However the youngest was the "mistake" child as you call it and was born a good 10 years later. Oh boy did she take on my traits and we fought like cats and dogs (especially since my mom and dad divorced and he was always working and we never saw him). When she got old enough she took on my traits and tried to take over the leadership of the family. It got so bad that she would combine her manipulation strategies with actual physical violence and actually tried to assault me many times, which of course never worked, and thankfully I had a blackbelt in judo and hapkido plus i'm well over 6 ft and was able to stop the outbursts without harming her back. Of course as she got older she got into cheerleading and sororities and went FULL blown psycho narc (it was REAL bad - the worst possible woman any guy could meet and she was pretty so she hurt alot of guys). She was a bartender in the beginning but now works in finance and is a real-estate agent and just about the worst nightmare when it comes to a bossb*tch / feminazi. With the bartending job she wormed her way into alot of upper circles and tries to use them as clout in an argument. She's got her little beta buck boy toy that she drags around and I feel so sorry for the guy. She hates it when I talk to him because it requires her to break him back down. It's so bad that our relationship is impossible and I made the decision to no longer include her in my life because she's so aggressive with her status and the amount of effort she will do to go behind your back and sabotage things, like undoing the work of the manosphere and stopping us from leveling up. She is the literal definition of Dunning-Kruger. There is an old phrase "I would rather adjust to your absence, then deal with your presence". My first sister though, is so easy going lol. After all these years my mother is finally starting to see what I was talking about when we were growing up and can see I was right about the youngest. Since I am no longer around she needs someone else to take her aggression out on. I have to intervene a few times and tell her to calm down since our mother is now elderly. My last sister is the mark in which I quickly measure a woman in 5 minutes. Do you have her traits oh you are gone, like I get up and walk away at that moment kinda gone.
I’m an only child. Left home and went away to college and never went back. Have supported myself my entire life. No marriage and no kids. I don’t compete with others , I just live my own life. I like men who are independent too so we don’t need so much from each other. Just ❤ and companionship.
I’m first born. My wife is also first born. We’ve been married 16yrs and it’s great. With that being said I agree with almost everything Rich just said. Very interesting topic.
@@Kauffman578 what don’t I agree? That FB and FB won’t gel well. How have I coped? By realizing that being FB is a strength and using it to my advantage. As far as my wife also being FB, I point out her traits in a joking manner simply for her to acknowledge it(which she does). There’s only room for one leader in my house.
Makes so much sense. Middle child here, failed marriage to inflexible first born, got burned by a narcissistic only child. Best dynamic was with second born with much older older brother who put her in her place.
Great insight. Im a first born, but have worked on type A qualities and am pretty chill now, lol. I do find tho when a man isn’t leading/keeps consulting with me I go into older sibling mode and take over. I Have to work on reflecting back to him and reassuring him that I trust and respect him in whatever decision he makes and sit back and allow him to make the decisions. If I step in it’s more for support, not taking over. Work in progress, lol- I think birth order plays a role but as long as we make an effort to improve how we approach relationships, our attachment style tendencies, and learn how to listen to our partners to work through issues the significance of birth order decreases. Thank you for sharing your insights!
In my last relationship, we were both the first borns. There was many issues in that relationship with a bunch of red flags I didn't know to look out for back then. Watching your videos have really given me more perspective of what to look for in the future whenever I'm ready to date again
First born here- my ex wife was an only child for 10 years and then became the babysitter/make shift mommy. Her mom was a single mother, so My ex wife went to live with her grand parents at 15. Yeah- I wish I had known about the unplugged Alpha back in 2000.
Look for women that have a good father/daughter relationship and sister/brother relationship. These women understand the male/female relationship better than any others. Good luck out there.
I can appreciate the points that were made in this video. I just hope others and myself can use it to assess themselves personally on how this may affect their interpersonal relationships. And then assess whether or not their partner has qualities based on their birth order that are compatible for the relationship you are trying to build together.
Well, I’ve never heard of this before, but I am a first born. I have three younger sisters, and my personal experience I have found out that when the girl is youngest in her life of siblings, that seems to work the best.
I'm the middle child and could definitely see my little brother (7 years younger) being a lot similar to my older brother than to me. Feel like I am way different than my brothers, philosophically, politically and just interests / personality.
I was a first born, ex-wife was born 15 years after her next oldest sibling. The dynamic was just constantly competing with each other all the time. Very tiring.
thats interesting because my first LTR was a middle child but the age gap between her and her sister was 6 years and she always tried to boss me around
In my culture, firstborns carry the burden of responsibility of taking care of their younger siblings which is why they are authoritarian because parents trust them to enforce their rules. I didn't know that they also manage their relationship that way.
Very unique perspective, my next oldest sibling is 13 years older and we never grew up together in the same house. I grew up completely alone as my father was an abusive poly addict. While my mother worked night shift sleeping during the day. So I grew up terrified, alone and abused. I wonder just how deep the psychology of such a victim in childhood would go into adulthood.
How are you doing, my father was very lose i could do anything. Now i only play videogames and smoke weed all day watching youtube. Are u mistaking strict for abusive? Controlling for abusive? If u prefer to be a nobody with no goals, take the lose parent.Dopaminehits all day baby.
I am the eldest girl of three. Like you said, i by far had the most rules imposed on me. However, I always obeyed them. I gladly submitted to my parents especially my father. I was and still am shy, meek, and submissive. My younger sister (middle child) is the opposite. She had fewer rules imposed on her. She became more head strong and defiant. She is type A. Very much the leader. Her and I are fairly close in age. Lastly is my brother. The youngest. He had nearly NO rules. Which in turn has made him very defiant towards my parents. He has gotten into a lot of trouble and struggles with authority. I can see how dating a last born child could be difficult as they are not used to submitting to anyone else or considering anyone else. Just worth thinking about. A first born child may reflect a personality more like mine.
Developmental psychologist here. You're short handing some important ego structured with this wonderful book. Attachment styles go hand in hand with what you're saying. Clarifying how people perceive a "will to power", and how much of their ego plays into their agency (ability to control their surroundings) also fits here. I would recommend looking into secure male attachments, and explaining the Evolutionary needs of both men and women while contrasting that with their desires. Realistically it isn't necessary to mate with multiple women but most men want this. On the flip side, women want resources (attention, money, power) from anyone and will move to achieve this. What this means typically is that men pull the short stick and wome get what they want (no negative connotation here, just matter of fact).
I’m the youngest of two… but my brother is 12 years older and was away at boarding school the majority of the time. So it was a very similar to being an only child I believe. I’m very interested in reading about this. Thanks for the recommendation.
I have lived the scenarios mentioned and I found them true. I am the first born male and married a middle child. Wonderful marriage until she passed. Then I dated a first born, and nothing but clashes.. Oh it was fun at first. When I have dated the "baby", they are so chaotic..
Interesting. I'm the oldest of 3 boys, and my wife is the 3rd of 4 girls. We've been married for 51 years and she has been fairly easy to live with. We still love each other and laugh every day. Things, of course, were way different back then.
As an only child, your parents knew you were their first, but they didn’t know you were their last until much later on, and that’s why at least I pretty much got the 1st born treatment. I don’t think all or most only children get praised all the time. Depends on the parenting style. You’re also under the most pressure since you’re your parents’ only shot at, well, parenting. This may differ for women, idk.
Im a first born and I have been with my last born missus for 20 years and still going strong 💪🏾 I don’t have any issues at all very interesting views though all this Andrew Tate stuff has brought the Manosphere into my feeds and I watch it just to compare my life situation to what’s being said in these communities some things are obvious but some are not.. Good luck to the fellas out there that are having a hard time I wish them all the best and hope they find what they’re looking for in life 💯🔥👊🏾
I’m in an LTR with a last born in a line of 5 kids. It’s cool but one down side I’ve noticed is that she can’t be alone or entertain herself because growing up there was always someone to play with or entertain her. She never leaned how to entertain herself. I’m a last born too but the gap is 5 years to my older sibling so I can sit silently with my own thoughts for hours or days and be cool; drives my gf nuts lol
It's a brilliant book and a great recommendation. Unfortunately for me I read it (about 15 years ago) in the context of understanding my children's growth patterns and personality traits. Interesting that my now ex-wife was a first born and although I am a middle child, I'm the first born son so I have many first born characteristics. I had to laugh while watching the short as now looking back if I'd have only known to think of the book in regards to my marriage. Kevin Lehman is pretty nails on a whole host of family, relationship, and life issues; funny too!
Im probably the exception then. I’m technically the “last born out of 8”; however, the two brothers i grew up with are only 18 months older than I am. I act more like a first born with an “entrepreneurial” mindset, more so than my two “older” brothers. My point is, one can always become who they choose to become at the end of the day.
Both of my exes were first borns I’m a first born. Current girlfriend is a last born (older sibling is just 2 years older). Our relationship is much better, thank for for this video
Great observations. One qualifier - it's not firstborn, but firstborn 'characteristics.' Reason why I'm offering that distinction as a particular note: I am 2nd born, 1.5 years behind my sister. However: SHE was heavily coddled (to her detriment.) I was held to a much higher standard (to my benefit.) Thus, I have 1st born characteristics despite being 2nd born. And I completely agree - 1st borns are a terrible match for me. I've dated 1st born women and clashed heavily. Again, tremendous observations. Much thanks. 🙂
looking back at my old relationships... I realize...oh yeah, Oh yeah, I either dated a firstborn or an only child who looking back probably had all the bad traits. Ok one of the many reasons why I'm single.
Second born myself but 6 year Gap Older sister had mental and health issues So I was tasked with responsibility. I married the 5th born of a wealthy enabler. Lol. I always was the dominant Male in the room and he was always undermining Me. I made it 28 years before I asked him to take his Daughter back. I maintain a civil relationship with the ex-wife reminding her that accountability is important to me and family is very important but I'm not going to enable poor behavior any longer. Such is life.
Two firstborns very happily married 22 years. I like to think I got the better of the first born traits. I'm absolutely not dominant in our relationship. My husband wanted a feminine, traditional woman and that's what he got. But having one younger brother, I was mother's helper a lot. But by high school I could run a whole house and was a great cook. I've always been the one who cooks and cleans in our marriage and I love that way. I was also the responsible, dependable one. There is truth to a lot of this topic but it's also good to know people can just as easily grow up and move away from the birth order negative traits. My mom is from a big family and her youngest sister has been irresponsible her whole life. So bad with money, not reliable, her husband had to work and micromanage her. She's in her 60s and still acts like a teenager. But I realize that not all youngest are like that. It's just obvious she never grew out of other people doing things for her.
Thanks for the recommendation Rich, I'll definitely get that book. Also, I guess I must be keen to heed to the lessons in the book. Because I've heard you say you read the book in your twenties but your Ex-wife was a first born! I'm on my twenties and I wish to learn from the mistakes of my mentors.
Must be my parents are an exception to the rule lol . Since they are both first borns and really one of the only relationships I have ever seen work of friends and family . Married for almost 60 years and have a great relationship . I wasnt as successful lol with the matches he said works so ... . I think it depends on the character n morals of the person male or female .
This may be more to do with family culture and customs. First born typically carry more weight and responsibility for the family, which makes then more mature, rational, and calm minded. Last borns are typically spoiled, entitled, and super coddled. The younger generation usually have it easier but deal with things worst, and this reflects into their relationship. Take Rich's point with a grain of salt...
Respectfully I am a first born (eldest in 3 brothers) and my wife is 4th (has 3 older brothers). Unfortunately when I visit in laws, its not very cool as they treat her like a doormat which makes them think they can treat me like that too, which I dont let them obviously because of which there have been clashes .
My gf is last of 6 children . She said by that point her parents were burnt out and let her do wherever she wanted to. That being said she was having parties starting at 14 years old where drug dealers were there trying to get with her…among many other stories. She’s now 34 and claims to have only had sex with 5 guys.
Great relationships are built on trust, character and reciprocity, and not the chance of being born in a certain order. If you enjoy challenging ideas and if mastery and masculinity are subjects that interest you, I invite you to explore the videos I share on the Mastery Order Channel. Challenge yourself with some ideas about manhood, explore your masculine potential to the maximum and become the kind of man you would admire. We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, share your own opinions so that others can benefit from them as well. Looking forward to your points of view. All the best to you!
If only more Sci-Fi books / stories / movies were so fantasyful. Maybe some day I read that book, I am from the 80s too, but: 30 years have gone by and for me I'd be very carefurl about potential obsolescence on such a subject. So, with all respect for the proposal, I rather prepare for a collaboration with NASA, ESA, Canadian Space Administration and Caterpillar to design the successor of the James Webb Space Telescope and go on with well-crafted pick-up techniques as I am still on time for picking up the ideal (super-model, muche taller than me, circa 20 years younger than me) and raising children.
This makes sense. But what about when I as a man have abandonment issues with my father. My wife has abandonment issues with her father. Where does that leave us?
I usually agree with Rich and I can see some of the things he said play out in my relationship per the firstborn thing. My issue with everything he said is the degree of conviction with which he said it. I've dated a last born who supposedly be perfect match for my firstborn self but she was just as domineering and even more secretive than the firstborn I've dated. I've had the best of relationships with firstborns. They're more expressive and you just have to establish the order of things in the relationship. I would pick a communicative lady with leadership qualities over a good follower who's secretive and manipulative every day of the week. Men shouldn't have to be afraid of dating women who're leaders... What you don't want is a lady who's bossy. They're not the same thing.
Also first born woman, that are from a culture of male should be first born, they have issue of not being loved by there father, and possible BPD. Person experience!
haha i laught.. as he said my dad called me and said why you are not at home its 10 clock you late.. i am first born too and the same goes for me. i could not stay outside longer then 8 clock and my younger brothers .. way younger they stay the whole night out and no one yells at them xD
It is on audible I'm the oldest... so I should avoid 1st borns or only children. Got it! I don't date anymore, but I will keep that in my memory bank... just encase. Might work in business too, I'm sure. Thanx!
Idk of this is a good generalization... I think there area other factors that weigh much heavier. And there's alot of variability in how both order is played out. It's something to think about but a persons communication skills and emotional maturity is much more important irl. Bc if those are well developed the birth order factors are negligible
Makes sense.. I see it. My mum was the first of 6 children and my father was the last of 7.. I'm first born and so is my wife. Not happy whereas my girlfriend is the middle of 5.. 😃
First borns are flooded with attention for the first few years until the next one comes along, and this helps create a very high self-esteem. Then, when the next one comes along, they’re given more responsibility, which also increases their self-esteem and knowledge in the world. Last borns it’s basically a free for all. They’re spoiled, whiney, and more insecure due to a lack of attention growing up.
The good thing about us that he weren't adored and cuddled after our younger siblings came along. I'm a first born with a younger brother, my bf is second born with an older sister. I make the sandwiches, I take care of gifts for his family etc. If he was with a second/last born, would she do the same? Would she buy him candy just to spoil him, praise him when he does a good job?
Hey Rich, what kind of radio do you have there? Are you using it as a police scanner? BTW can you run a radar detector in Canada? I run a Valentine One radar in my car. Best one on the market IMHO because of how sensitive it is, and it points to where the source is located.
My Grandpa had 23 kids. I forgot which order my dad came in lol but my mom was the last born and well they have been married 40+ years. Wonder if that study even applies to him.
The last phrase about his successful long-term relationships is rather funny. The question is how does he define long-term relationships? One month? One year? 10 years?
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I’m single you wanna hookup
Are there any channels that are entirely *POSITIVE*?
Like no negativity in it?
Like I met this girl, I did this to show this, and we're happy - like that?
@@davidlindsay131 you wanna hookup
My parents are last borns and have been married for 30 years. They made it work. My mom stuck it out with my dad during poverty and my dad financed her Bachelors degree which turned into a good paying job. Both worked hard all their lives and now I hope to get my masters degree and be responsible to support them in their old age.
Same with mine, both the youngest of 5 kids on each side. Been together 25 years and have a business together. There are always outliers I guess.
bhai Indian culture and religion plays a huge role but not in the west
It is all about level of awarness and having a group mentality. The order of birth is important but it can work out as long as having the same goal menatality. Wich most modern women don't. Most of them are selfish and have a guide less attitude. "i don't need no man"...... Selfish is the biggest red flagg.
Amen!
@@vimalkhaini Dat bhai! Lol
Also women with older brothers are generally used to seeing the independent and rebellious male nature. They accept it, they also get bashed up if they are not submissive, also get protected a lot and are not seen in bad company. All bodes well for LTR
Not necessarily, mine was the 2nd born to a older brother. With two younger brothers under her. While all her brothers play and joke around, she doesn't, she takes what you say to heart, bashes them for being men. Etc. I didn't know any of this until I was with her years down the line and how she saw men in her family. I too thought because she was the only girl of the siblings she'd have more of a sense of humor, know this his how guys are, Play here and there, joke. Naw I got the complete opposite. Oh and she has daddy issues, cause their dad in her eyes gave them all the attention lol
I have seen it both ways. Some girls with older brothers turned into sluts even when they tried to intervene. But in general I feel like having the older brother's is a good thing most of the time.
my ex was second born with a bigger brother still a bch
I’m single
I got bashed up all the time by my twinbrother. Brothers will correct your behaviour immediately when they don't agree with it.
But there's one bad thing about women with older brothers. These women are used to not winning physical fights which can make them manipulative towards men if they really want their way.
as a middle child you are correct, i want to just get along and i don't want arguments
One of my g/f s was a middle child and she was a total bitch so ... 🙃
@@shaneshrimp6519 did she have any mental disorders? An ex of mine is classed as a middle child but she had bpd.
I’m an only child and my husband is a last born of 6. We get alone amazing. Most children now are only children. It’s going to get near impossible for them to get along. I also read about that study when I was a kid. Makes so much sense.
I'm 2nd to the last born of 7 kids. Is true, easy going. When dating always let the man lead and no drama. Older sisters more controlling and argue. Thanks Rich!
now i know what questions i'll ask first lol
I discovered this fascinating info... about 27 years too late! I'm oldest & married a firstborn. The most stubborn, hard headed, perfectionist person I've ever known. She's gorgeous- but I can't remember the last time I was actually "at peace" in my own home. Be aware, brothers!!
🙏🏽 best wishes
This book is 40 years old, it cld turn out to be total bullsh!t.
This guy is total CONFIRMATION BIAS AT ITS WORST.
Do you fight a lot? Why no peace? Why not just leave?
This is a tangent, but Thomas Sowell talks about birth order in Discrimination and Disparities. He uses this phenomenon to point out how absurd it is to demand there be equity in results between any two groups of people, whether we are talking about race, cultures, sex, etc etc etc. if there are huge disparities between siblings with the same genetics, upbringing, class, values, etc, it’s crazy to expect equity among any other groups you might want to compare.
You brought up birth order in a past video a long time ago and I found it extraordinarily interesting, and I also learned that when the eldest child is parentalized, not only do they behave like somebody that was abused, often times they can't let go of that feeling (to them) of accomplishment to the point that they try to become everybody's parents and we all know that can be very very annoying.
I'm a 1st born. Most my issues have been with 1st born women. Also add in women with daddy issues. Just has been not worth the squeeze
Same brother
I have 20 siblings and I am just second in command.
How accurate is this! I'm first born. And my ex was first born girl in hers. We clashed big time but that story is so crazy and long,Rich would raise his eyebrows lol. That relationship was reason I unplugged my self when I discovered Rich. My current GF is youngest of 4. She's 10 years younger than me, Im 37, her 27. She is far more compliant and we get along better and has no reflags other than some smaller tattoos.
tatoos, she belong to the streets
@@emperadorzar2023 lol
Interesting theories. One older brother, one younger, 2 years between each of us. Older brother has always been the least "alpha" out of us by a good margin, with my younger brother and I swapping back and forth for that top spot. My younger brother has always been more of the wildcard though, which does fit what you mentioned of the last born. As the middle child I was the least "trouble" out of the three which also fits.
Obviously nothing you can do to change your birth order, but knowing how it may affect you in your interpersonal interactions is valuable.
My firstborn-firstborn marriage was a wild success.
Interesting. This explains alot with my family. I have two sisters and i'm the first born. However the youngest was the "mistake" child as you call it and was born a good 10 years later. Oh boy did she take on my traits and we fought like cats and dogs (especially since my mom and dad divorced and he was always working and we never saw him). When she got old enough she took on my traits and tried to take over the leadership of the family. It got so bad that she would combine her manipulation strategies with actual physical violence and actually tried to assault me many times, which of course never worked, and thankfully I had a blackbelt in judo and hapkido plus i'm well over 6 ft and was able to stop the outbursts without harming her back. Of course as she got older she got into cheerleading and sororities and went FULL blown psycho narc (it was REAL bad - the worst possible woman any guy could meet and she was pretty so she hurt alot of guys). She was a bartender in the beginning but now works in finance and is a real-estate agent and just about the worst nightmare when it comes to a bossb*tch / feminazi. With the bartending job she wormed her way into alot of upper circles and tries to use them as clout in an argument. She's got her little beta buck boy toy that she drags around and I feel so sorry for the guy. She hates it when I talk to him because it requires her to break him back down. It's so bad that our relationship is impossible and I made the decision to no longer include her in my life because she's so aggressive with her status and the amount of effort she will do to go behind your back and sabotage things, like undoing the work of the manosphere and stopping us from leveling up. She is the literal definition of Dunning-Kruger. There is an old phrase "I would rather adjust to your absence, then deal with your presence".
My first sister though, is so easy going lol. After all these years my mother is finally starting to see what I was talking about when we were growing up and can see I was right about the youngest. Since I am no longer around she needs someone else to take her aggression out on. I have to intervene a few times and tell her to calm down since our mother is now elderly. My last sister is the mark in which I quickly measure a woman in 5 minutes. Do you have her traits oh you are gone, like I get up and walk away at that moment kinda gone.
I’m an only child. Left home and went away to college and never went back. Have supported myself my entire life. No marriage and no kids. I don’t compete with others , I just live my own life. I like men who are independent too so we don’t need so much from each other. Just ❤ and companionship.
I’m first born. My wife is also first born. We’ve been married 16yrs and it’s great. With that being said I agree with almost everything Rich just said. Very interesting topic.
What don't you agree? And how have you cope on those firstborn characteristics?
@@Kauffman578 what don’t I agree? That FB and FB won’t gel well. How have I coped? By realizing that being FB is a strength and using it to my advantage. As far as my wife also being FB, I point out her traits in a joking manner simply for her to acknowledge it(which she does). There’s only room for one leader in my house.
Makes so much sense. Middle child here, failed marriage to inflexible first born, got burned by a narcissistic only child. Best dynamic was with second born with much older older brother who put her in her place.
Me over here as an only child... must be nice to have siblings and family.
Great insight. Im a first born, but have worked on type A qualities and am pretty chill now, lol. I do find tho when a man isn’t leading/keeps consulting with me I go into older sibling mode and take over. I Have to work on reflecting back to him and reassuring him that I trust and respect him in whatever decision he makes and sit back and allow him to make the decisions. If I step in it’s more for support, not taking over.
Work in progress, lol-
I think birth order plays a role but as long as we make an effort to improve how we approach relationships, our attachment style tendencies, and learn how to listen to our partners to work through issues the significance of birth order decreases.
Thank you for sharing your insights!
In my last relationship, we were both the first borns. There was many issues in that relationship with a bunch of red flags I didn't know to look out for back then. Watching your videos have really given me more perspective of what to look for in the future whenever I'm ready to date again
First born here- my ex wife was an only child for 10 years and then became the babysitter/make shift mommy. Her mom was a single mother, so My ex wife went to live with her grand parents at 15.
Yeah- I wish I had known about the unplugged Alpha back in 2000.
Look for women that have a good father/daughter relationship and sister/brother relationship.
These women understand the male/female relationship better than any others. Good luck out there.
I have that book. I ended up with it back in the 90s. My sister is a medical doctor and I think she gave me the book.
First born males are usually alpha and self reliant. Usually they can handle women better and understand the gameplay 🤔
No 1st born usually effeminate same-sex types
Unless you have overbearing parents, there it becomes complicated
@@ruzario18 desi parenting lol
I can appreciate the points that were made in this video. I just hope others and myself can use it to assess themselves personally on how this may affect their interpersonal relationships. And then assess whether or not their partner has qualities based on their birth order that are compatible for the relationship you are trying to build together.
Well, I’ve never heard of this before, but I am a first born. I have three younger sisters, and my personal experience I have found out that when the girl is youngest in her life of siblings, that seems to work the best.
I’m single
I'm the middle child and could definitely see my little brother (7 years younger) being a lot similar to my older brother than to me. Feel like I am way different than my brothers, philosophically, politically and just interests / personality.
I was a first born, ex-wife was born 15 years after her next oldest sibling. The dynamic was just constantly competing with each other all the time.
Very tiring.
thats interesting because my first LTR was a middle child but the age gap between her and her sister was 6 years and she always tried to boss me around
In my culture, firstborns carry the burden of responsibility of taking care of their younger siblings which is why they are authoritarian because parents trust them to enforce their rules. I didn't know that they also manage their relationship that way.
I’m single
Very unique perspective, my next oldest sibling is 13 years older and we never grew up together in the same house. I grew up completely alone as my father was an abusive poly addict. While my mother worked night shift sleeping during the day. So I grew up terrified, alone and abused. I wonder just how deep the psychology of such a victim in childhood would go into adulthood.
How are you doing, my father was very lose i could do anything. Now i only play videogames and smoke weed all day watching youtube. Are u mistaking strict for abusive? Controlling for abusive? If u prefer to be a nobody with no goals, take the lose parent.Dopaminehits all day baby.
@@Charless_Martel No, I was physically abused.
I am the eldest girl of three. Like you said, i by far had the most rules imposed on me. However, I always obeyed them. I gladly submitted to my parents especially my father. I was and still am shy, meek, and submissive. My younger sister (middle child) is the opposite. She had fewer rules imposed on her. She became more head strong and defiant. She is type A. Very much the leader. Her and I are fairly close in age. Lastly is my brother. The youngest. He had nearly NO rules. Which in turn has made him very defiant towards my parents. He has gotten into a lot of trouble and struggles with authority. I can see how dating a last born child could be difficult as they are not used to submitting to anyone else or considering anyone else. Just worth thinking about. A first born child may reflect a personality more like mine.
Developmental psychologist here. You're short handing some important ego structured with this wonderful book.
Attachment styles go hand in hand with what you're saying. Clarifying how people perceive a "will to power", and how much of their ego plays into their agency (ability to control their surroundings) also fits here.
I would recommend looking into secure male attachments, and explaining the Evolutionary needs of both men and women while contrasting that with their desires.
Realistically it isn't necessary to mate with multiple women but most men want this. On the flip side, women want resources (attention, money, power) from anyone and will move to achieve this. What this means typically is that men pull the short stick and wome get what they want (no negative connotation here, just matter of fact).
I am a firstborn and pretty much any that ever girl I've ever found attractive was a firstborn too. Kind of a weird phenomenon.
I’m the youngest of two… but my brother is 12 years older and was away at boarding school the majority of the time. So it was a very similar to being an only child I believe. I’m very interested in reading about this. Thanks for the recommendation.
Very interesting because it actually makes some sense
Interesting Indeed
I have lived the scenarios mentioned and I found them true. I am the first born male and married a middle child. Wonderful marriage until she passed. Then I dated a first born, and nothing but clashes.. Oh it was fun at first. When I have dated the "baby", they are so chaotic..
Chase Excellence, Not Women
-Rich Cooper💯
Starts 1:04
Now THIS I can *USE.*
THIS is *POSITIVE.*
Interesting. I'm the oldest of 3 boys, and my wife is the 3rd of 4 girls. We've been married for 51 years and she has been fairly easy to live with. We still love each other and laugh every day. Things, of course, were way different back then.
As an only child, your parents knew you were their first, but they didn’t know you were their last until much later on, and that’s why at least I pretty much got the 1st born treatment.
I don’t think all or most only children get praised all the time. Depends on the parenting style. You’re also under the most pressure since you’re your parents’ only shot at, well, parenting. This may differ for women, idk.
Im a first born and I have been with my last born missus for 20 years and still going strong 💪🏾 I don’t have any issues at all very interesting views though all this Andrew Tate stuff has brought the Manosphere into my feeds and I watch it just to compare my life situation to what’s being said in these communities some things are obvious but some are not.. Good luck to the fellas out there that are having a hard time I wish them all the best and hope they find what they’re looking for in life 💯🔥👊🏾
I’m in an LTR with a last born in a line of 5 kids. It’s cool but one down side I’ve noticed is that she can’t be alone or entertain herself because growing up there was always someone to play with or entertain her. She never leaned how to entertain herself. I’m a last born too but the gap is 5 years to my older sibling so I can sit silently with my own thoughts for hours or days and be cool; drives my gf nuts lol
I’m single
I’m first born and gravitate towards other firstborns. My friends and relationships have mostly been with other firstborns!
It's a brilliant book and a great recommendation. Unfortunately for me I read it (about 15 years ago) in the context of understanding my children's growth patterns and personality traits. Interesting that my now ex-wife was a first born and although I am a middle child, I'm the first born son so I have many first born characteristics. I had to laugh while watching the short as now looking back if I'd have only known to think of the book in regards to my marriage. Kevin Lehman is pretty nails on a whole host of family, relationship, and life issues; funny too!
Im probably the exception then. I’m technically the “last born out of 8”; however, the two brothers i grew up with are only 18 months older than I am.
I act more like a first born with an “entrepreneurial” mindset, more so than my two “older” brothers. My point is, one can always become who they choose to become at the end of the day.
choice is an illusion
@@proper_noun436 we make choices everyday 🤔
I was wondering what to use this months Audible credit on, Thanks Richard I'll have listen to that.
Both of my exes were first borns I’m a first born. Current girlfriend is a last born (older sibling is just 2 years older). Our relationship is much better, thank for for this video
I’m single
Great observations.
One qualifier - it's not firstborn, but firstborn 'characteristics.' Reason why I'm offering that distinction as a particular note: I am 2nd born, 1.5 years behind my sister. However: SHE was heavily coddled (to her detriment.) I was held to a much higher standard (to my benefit.) Thus, I have 1st born characteristics despite being 2nd born. And I completely agree - 1st borns are a terrible match for me. I've dated 1st born women and clashed heavily.
Again, tremendous observations. Much thanks. 🙂
Since men are more naturally aggressive and wired to lead, people who study this say that the first born male is basically a first-born.
You’re also the first boy too. Keep that in mind tho!☝🏾😎
Without fail women can always recognize my birth order
I’m not worried about the birth order. If she’s a drain, she’s gone and I’m walking.
looking back at my old relationships... I realize...oh yeah, Oh yeah, I either dated a firstborn or an only child who looking back probably had all the bad traits. Ok one of the many reasons why I'm single.
It’s not just about first or last born, it’s also about gender and if one or both parents raised the kids.
Second born myself but 6 year Gap Older sister had mental and health issues So I was tasked with responsibility.
I married the 5th born of a wealthy enabler. Lol. I always was the dominant Male in the room and he was always undermining Me. I made it 28 years before I asked him to take his Daughter back.
I maintain a civil relationship with the ex-wife reminding her that accountability is important to me and family is very important but I'm not going to enable poor behavior any longer. Such is life.
Two firstborns very happily married 22 years. I like to think I got the better of the first born traits. I'm absolutely not dominant in our relationship. My husband wanted a feminine, traditional woman and that's what he got. But having one younger brother, I was mother's helper a lot. But by high school I could run a whole house and was a great cook. I've always been the one who cooks and cleans in our marriage and I love that way. I was also the responsible, dependable one. There is truth to a lot of this topic but it's also good to know people can just as easily grow up and move away from the birth order negative traits.
My mom is from a big family and her youngest sister has been irresponsible her whole life. So bad with money, not reliable, her husband had to work and micromanage her. She's in her 60s and still acts like a teenager. But I realize that not all youngest are like that. It's just obvious she never grew out of other people doing things for her.
Wow I remember an interview with the author of this book in the early eighties. I am getting old......
Dr kevin Lehman also has books on parenting and also has some interviews online I think.
I'm a first born. I think there is definitely something to this.
Thanks for the recommendation Rich, I'll definitely get that book.
Also, I guess I must be keen to heed to the lessons in the book. Because I've heard you say you read the book in your twenties but your Ex-wife was a first born!
I'm on my twenties and I wish to learn from the mistakes of my mentors.
Interesting video.... I'll have to look into this. Thanks Rich!
Must be my parents are an exception to the rule lol . Since they are both first borns and really one of the only relationships I have ever seen work of friends and family . Married for almost 60 years and have a great relationship . I wasnt as successful lol with the matches he said works so ... . I think it depends on the character n morals of the person male or female .
This may be more to do with family culture and customs. First born typically carry more weight and responsibility for the family, which makes then more mature, rational, and calm minded. Last borns are typically spoiled, entitled, and super coddled. The younger generation usually have it easier but deal with things worst, and this reflects into their relationship.
Take Rich's point with a grain of salt...
@@user-ku7pm9zv4m Im just telling you it worked in this situation dude .
I'm the 10th Born (twin), I would say I lean more towards mid to firstborn 'temperament'.
Respectfully I am a first born (eldest in 3 brothers) and my wife is 4th (has 3 older brothers). Unfortunately when I visit in laws, its not very cool as they treat her like a doormat which makes them think they can treat me like that too, which I dont let them obviously because of which there have been clashes .
My gf is last of 6 children . She said by that point her parents were burnt out and let her do wherever she wanted to. That being said she was having parties starting at 14 years old where drug dealers were there trying to get with her…among many other stories. She’s now 34 and claims to have only had sex with 5 guys.
Could be true. I would add a couple in my head though. So how is it going? Still with her?
My ex wife was the oldest of 3 sisters. She was a total control freak and possessive. Glad we split.
Amazing video, a lot of value provided here. Thank you!
Great relationships are built on trust, character and reciprocity, and not the chance of being born in a certain order.
If you enjoy challenging ideas and if mastery and masculinity are subjects that interest you, I invite you to explore the videos I share on the Mastery Order Channel.
Challenge yourself with some ideas about manhood, explore your masculine potential to the maximum and become the kind of man you would admire.
We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, share your own opinions so that others can benefit from them as well.
Looking forward to your points of view.
All the best to you!
If only more Sci-Fi books / stories / movies were so fantasyful. Maybe some day I read that book, I am from the 80s too, but: 30 years have gone by and for me I'd be very carefurl about potential obsolescence on such a subject.
So, with all respect for the proposal, I rather prepare for a collaboration with NASA, ESA, Canadian Space Administration and Caterpillar to design the successor of the James Webb Space Telescope and go on with well-crafted pick-up techniques as I am still on time for picking up the ideal (super-model, muche taller than me, circa 20 years younger than me) and raising children.
Married twice. First was oldest-youngest, a disaster. Current is oldest -oldest. Her Dad was a strong patriarch / alpha.
This would have been useful to know like 5 years ago.
Intriguing... I'm definitely reading the book.
Whats the name of the Book?
@@SeanMTV birth order by kevin leman
Interesting, I've not heard that before. A new study for me, it would seem. Thanks Rich. Keep safe and well.
Interesting! Will read the book. Thanks!
Rich, I noticed the handie talkie in the back of your car, are you by chance a HAM operator?
He’s right I am a first born
This makes sense. But what about when I as a man have abandonment issues with my father. My wife has abandonment issues with her father. Where does that leave us?
Super useful video, very practical
Check public libraries as well.
I usually agree with Rich and I can see some of the things he said play out in my relationship per the firstborn thing. My issue with everything he said is the degree of conviction with which he said it. I've dated a last born who supposedly be perfect match for my firstborn self but she was just as domineering and even more secretive than the firstborn I've dated. I've had the best of relationships with firstborns. They're more expressive and you just have to establish the order of things in the relationship. I would pick a communicative lady with leadership qualities over a good follower who's secretive and manipulative every day of the week. Men shouldn't have to be afraid of dating women who're leaders... What you don't want is a lady who's bossy. They're not the same thing.
This information might come in handy in dealing with others.
Also first born woman, that are from a culture of male should be first born, they have issue of not being loved by there father, and possible BPD. Person experience!
Gracias from TX.
haha i laught.. as he said my dad called me and said why you are not at home its 10 clock you late..
i am first born too and the same goes for me. i could not stay outside longer then 8 clock and my younger brothers .. way younger they stay the whole night out and no one yells at them xD
It is on audible
I'm the oldest... so I should avoid 1st borns or only children. Got it! I don't date anymore, but I will keep that in my memory bank... just encase. Might work in business too, I'm sure.
Thanx!
Idk of this is a good generalization... I think there area other factors that weigh much heavier. And there's alot of variability in how both order is played out. It's something to think about but a persons communication skills and emotional maturity is much more important irl. Bc if those are well developed the birth order factors are negligible
Makes sense.. I see it. My mum was the first of 6 children and my father was the last of 7.. I'm first born and so is my wife. Not happy whereas my girlfriend is the middle of 5.. 😃
This is interesting cause I have 3 girls and my oldest is bossy and picks at the younger two.
Thanks Rich. Ordered it
Great book recommendation.
Will pick it up.
First borns are flooded with attention for the first few years until the next one comes along, and this helps create a very high self-esteem. Then, when the next one comes along, they’re given more responsibility, which also increases their self-esteem and knowledge in the world. Last borns it’s basically a free for all. They’re spoiled, whiney, and more insecure due to a lack of attention growing up.
Spot on from experience.
I was a last born - cool video as always !
What do you suggest for second born men in relationships? Are first born women a good compliment or are they naturally going to try and run the show?
The good thing about us that he weren't adored and cuddled after our younger siblings came along. I'm a first born with a younger brother, my bf is second born with an older sister. I make the sandwiches, I take care of gifts for his family etc. If he was with a second/last born, would she do the same? Would she buy him candy just to spoil him, praise him when he does a good job?
Hey Rich, what kind of radio do you have there? Are you using it as a police scanner? BTW can you run a radar detector in Canada? I run a Valentine One radar in my car. Best one on the market IMHO because of how sensitive it is, and it points to where the source is located.
My Grandpa had 23 kids. I forgot which order my dad came in lol but my mom was the last born and well they have been married 40+ years. Wonder if that study even applies to him.
I am the oldest to my dad and the middle child to my mom. So ?
So bloody true love you RC
Crazy how my Mom tells me this every now and then when we talk about finding me a gf/wife and Rich finally confirms it for me with this video. Noice!
The last phrase about his successful long-term relationships is rather funny. The question is how does he define long-term relationships? One month? One year? 10 years?
Very interesting, definitely worth looking into it.
So who's generally the best match for an only child?