1. change reflex to control to desire to serve 2. Change indifference to conscientiousness: blend, reliability, curiosity, helpful, take initiative to inclusiveness 3. Change conniving to being open: authentic, accountable, safe, available 4. Change sense of agitation to respect: maintain dignity, be constructive, be civil, appreciate the value of all 5. Change binary thinking to analytical 6. Change judgmental thinking to descriptive 7. Change disdain for goodness to integrity
Maybe we could put a huge dent in narcissism if we could learn the psychology of their enablers. The people who appear normal and trustworthy, and who want you to accept their narcissist and allow them to sit at your table in your home. Gaslighting the hell out of you when you begin to see the narcissist for what they really are. But often, by then it’s too late for you to undo the damage. I would like to learn about the people who help the narcissist hide.
Change starts with me…and you. I am always impressed with how everyone wants to be treated with dignity and respect yet are disconnected from how their actions affect others.
@@caroleminke6116 I hear you, Carol. My hope personally is to somehow access a discernment of spirit intuitively within another upon meeting them, and therefore never be deceived ever again. At this point that seems rather farfetched, but I know it is possible. I met an American born yogi about 2011, who was mature, and that fellow had wisdom, and he could and did have active instant living insight and the ability to read others, my, karmic contents, without my telling him anything. He was probably a saint. He was accomplished in purity, And he bore the fruits of accomplishment. Humble. Helpful. No greed in him. Imagine how hard it must be to achieve such a state. But there was no trace of imposture or arrogance or condemnation in him. Such persons are exemplary and authentic. . . and in my experience, he is the only such man that I've ever met Like this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I really love this video of Dr. Carter, the aim seems to me the same. MAY WE ALL COME TO EMBODY SUch TRUTH, AGAPE truly, and permanently.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful to the Dr . , but everyone of these ideas cannot and will not ever happen. Leave, block , get a restraining order , move , change your number and fb , and a good attorney is your only hope for peace .
I have one weapon in my arsenal against such personalities. I’ve been subjected to many like what you’ve described in my nearly 75 years. One I’m still dealing with but I have the advantage. I’m old, retired and financially independent so my weapon is simply avoidance. I have a spouse with a potentially covert NPD. Although not as easy to completely avoid, I do pretty good with that weapon of mine. If she’s gone I stay. If she stays I’m gone. Not great but it sure works for me.
The only way I survived a 20 year relationship with my ex narc was that he was a OTR truck driver only home on Saturday and Sunday nights. Once he retired, I flew the coop.
I stayed / worked at 2 or 3 jobs even with two kids because he was always HOME! Just to avoid him. Now I have one job and not many hours and struggle to get through a five hour shift. Because I left the narc husband my home is PEACEFUL!!! The adrenaline and need to escape the house is no longer there. 😂 stress and abuse had me do a lot of things to find peace. ❤
It’s SO refreshing to hear someone, ANYONE, holding out a little hope for narcissists. Thank you! Personally, I believe the greatest asset for change for a narcissist (or anyone) is a personal relationship with Jesus.
@@aurelia5614 We live in a world where Jesus is a part of people's lives. I'm sorry you feel the need to control and express that your tiny little universe cannot contain that reality for other people.
When many of the significant people in your life are/ were pathological narcissists you need to distance yourself from this way of thinking and be honest about your bad behaviors in the past. Having identified narcissistic ideas as undesirable is a good start in the right direction, in my opinion.
The older I get, the better I understand consciousness. I have raised my children to put each-other first, to tell the truth and to be humble. I’ve taught them to take up for themselves without always having to have the last word or be “right”. Just be truthful, and remember that you never know what someone else is going through. It is shocking to deal with narcissistic adults, because they have so little respect for others. Everyone has a story, they have inner personal pain and a need for peace. Lately I have been a bit more careful to just simply be there for the people in my circle. I can’t control all the chaos, but I can make sure not to be a part of the problem. It does take pain to wake us up sometimes. And it’s something we have to be grateful for, even the hard stuff, because only then do we learn and appropriately change!
Hey, Gus! I read this article before listening and so many things popped out! Like I used to say that my second-ex had a "hidden agenda". And I just could not figure it out. I would look at him and think, "how can someone who appears to be so 'normal' really not be?" And whenever we would have conflict arise, he would say, "people can change, Diane". Sometimes that "change" is only while the narcissist is in front of you. Unfortunately in my life, things still remained the same behind my back.
An idealistic mindset that would wipe out Narcissism by these changes: 1. Reflex to control into willingness to serve 2. Indifference into conscientiousness 3. Convinning into openness 4. Agitation into respect 5. Binary thinking into analytical thinking 6. Being judgmental into being descriptive 7. Disdain for goodness into integrity Questions: ~ Are you in enough pain to do the work? ~ Do you have the resolve to do what is necessary? ~ Is this your own idea or from s.o. else? ~ Are you willing to receive coaching/insight/input? ~ Are you willing to make restitution? ~ Are you focused on character? ~ Are you willing to learn and process life long? Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
I found the most help through NA, as a narcissist i can say without doubt we have many more issues than narcissism. It was a humbling experience and made me look outside of myself.
Wow, Dr C! Profound! ❤Perfect for those of us who have been knocked off-center by long term abuse by narcissistic family members. Regular review of these 7 changes will be my guide as I restore my groundedness. Thank you. 🙏
Thank you for this video. I'm signed up with BetterHelp, just waiting for an appointment. Narcissism has poisoned three generations of my family, maybe more, from my mother, to my first husband, to my younger son. I've played the role of "people pleaser" and guilt-ridden recovered alcoholic. I remember a time during my unhappy marriage to my ex when I was growing narcissistic: drinking, feeling sorry for myself, abusing a friend whom I ultimately lost, and to whom I apologized at the end. I can see narcissism can develop in any of us, and I'm working to become someone I'm proud to be.
We can change, been workimg on it for a few years now. It takes effort, but anyone can change with time and actions. I do not acceot that I can't change my behavior.
Bless you and thank you for your work, Dr C. I have learned and grown so much watching your videos. The divorce is on the horizon and financial settlement seems to be speeding up. Fingers crossed I don't end up homeless again (twice in the past 4 years), but he has done his worst and I am still standing. He could (finally) take my home away from me after I have just got back into it, but I can rescue myself and my child again if I have to. Prayers are welcome, Team Healthy. Lots of well wishing to all of you. Hugs to Gus xx
‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ The Golden Rule. It’s offensive to man’s sinful nature. I recently was confronted by your direction today. Thank you, Dr. Carter, for the expansive definition.
Hey Aaron...If you'd be interested in seeing me teach a class, on You Tube, go to St. Albans Episcopal Church, then look for Sunday School 12/3. It is the first of a 3 part series this month. The other two will upload as well after they are presented.
@@SurvivingNarcissism That was an amazing talk you gave. I wish every Sunday School/Bible Study watched this. I will be waiting for the others to upload.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Please let St Alban's Episcopal Church know that your Sunday School classes on youtube will be an international ecumenical meeting point 👍 💫🌟 😇💛 Catholic from Italy here. And I'm sure, when they read your message, there will be many other Christians from different churches and countries joining your Jesus & Narcissism series on St. Alban's Waco channel. *Thank you so much*
Ok awesome!! Toward beginning you said ppl may have been in connection with a narc and find themselves having reactions that may tend that way and they STOP and think ok I don’t want to go that way. That’s me! I guard my reactions and thoughts cuz I don’t ever want to try to control other ppl or anything else a narc and unhealthy ppl do. 😊
Amanda ❤, I would refer this list as a checklist for yourself. At least I am using the points to look where I need to work on 😉 Wishing you a peaceful evening 🕊🤗
Dr C, thank you for your continued calm, sage advice and insights to help us cope with narcissism. If I feel particularly tense about any issues, besides your soothing tones, if I glance at Gus, he makes me smile and feel more at ease. He embodies that sense of peace. 🙂
I truly believe people working on narcissistic issues and abuse treatment CAN change the systems response to and for victims of emotional abuse laws..in theory, at least. Years ago, victims of domestic violence cases were told by the justice system and therapists that "emotional abuse is almost impossible to prove" even though the signs and damage was clear to them. .They too were powerless to effect change. Thank you for what you do for all those hoping for a better day for our children. ❤🙏 God bless you. Merry Christmas
After listening to this, Dr.C, the first impression I had was, "This is very wise and Christlike, biblically correct teaching." Sooo consistent with the Scripture and teachings of Christ, very much so.
This experience with this narcissistic individual has made me vigilant moving forward. Looking back for the past two and a half years being put through a sifter has made me realize that my health and well-being is extremely important to me and will NEVER compromise the love I have for myself and my darling children for people who never want to help themselves. God has given me blessings to reflect core values of self worthiness with respect, integrity and a law abiding citizen. This is the stepping stone to success. Thank you very much for this education as it has opened a door way to understand that people whom you trust are just simply untrustworthy that doll lead you down the beaten track to disaster. God bless.!❤
Dr Carter, This was a very interesting video as i am also someone who has had many narcissists in her life of 69 years. I have been practicing getting along for years. My latest step is to see my younger brother next week. I have not seen him for 3 1/2 years due to his wife, my sister in-law who it very difficult. My brother texted me his “happy birthday’ text last week. I decided to text back that I miss him and would so enjoy seeing him. I asked if he would like to get together just the 2 of us. He said yes, eagerly. I have held back doing this earlier, due to his wife getting very angry that we would like to have even a lunch together as brother/sister. Now at this age, I have decided to go ahead and see my brother, if he is willing. So next week we are having a meetup. I think he is just as happy as me about it! 😊 After listening to this video 2 times, referring to my brothers wife, only, I find so many of your changes extremely hard and impossible. I would fall back into the control of her and do not want to do that anymore. My ease of ‘people pleasing’ now no longer wants to be emotionally abused any more. I do not deserve it. So, this meetup with my brother again has no plan to get together with his wife,/my sister in-law. I just want to see my little brother…. Can this work? I do not know. Am I willing to try? Yes, I am. Is my brother? Yes….(I will wait and hope he does not cancel out. ) Are we hurting anyone doing this? No way. Just a brother and sister talking and laughing, like we used to. Will his wife get wind of this and threaten him? I do not know…Do I care about that? Yes,…..that’s why I have waited so long…However…I care about me now…No harm is seeing him again. I hope this write up of mine can help someone else. Do not wait to do something that feels right to you. It’s ok and approved to trust your own instincts. Time moves so fast. Don’t let your feeling/emotions/hurts get squashed down anymore inside you. No longer will narcissist control me. (Practice, practice, practice) It’s not healthy. I am living proof of that as a survivor of breast cancer and a ruptured brain aneurysm. I am a miracle and remind myself daily now. I want people back in my life who care about me. I miss them. Wish me luck and send a prayer, please Thanks for reading. ❤
t seems to me that you and your brother have kind intentions and healthy mindsets. Sending wishes for Health, Dignity, Civility and Respect to prevail in your situation.
It's really rather incredible how oblivious narcissists are about their conduct. There's rarely any reflection or self awareness on their part. So that pretty much guarantees there won't be any change in the behavior. I want a ringtone with the music playing in your intros that can be designated for the narcissists that call. 🙂
Respect is not in the narcissists vocabulary. Hard to have respect while the narcissists rages yells and curses at you non stop. I’m at the point where I can’t leave my house yet so I do everything separate. Meals etc. the narky I’m with doesn’t lift a finger with household chores. The most revenge I can get is watching him not have clean dishes to use or cooked meals to eat.
Eye opening, Dr. Carter! In 30+ years of Christian Counseling, I have not met a narcissist, until now. I want to help but must be called to it by The Father. (Her boss is a friend. She claims to be a Christian though her actions are anathema to every teaching of Yeshua/Jesus.) Wisdom requires Holy Spirit to lead and donning Ephesians 6 full armour, prior to entering into the lioness' territory. Thank you from my heart, Sir! I will pray for God's Will to be done since some brokenness and humbling (to admit need for help) would necessarily precipitate. God Bless You!
My ex has broken my spirit over and over hundreds of times no matter how I tried to go overboard with techniques to help the situation but after 13 years, I was having a breakdown and had to leave. I was losing my mind but now, 4 years later I'm better but I'll never fully trust another relationship...at least not right now
Have you noticed that narcissistic injury and humiliation looks like a butterfly effect from Chaos Theory? It is a Non linear effect, where output (humiliation) is disproportionate to input (tiny slight, insult)@@SurvivingNarcissism
Being hard to please is not the same thing as someone who is determined to maintain their boundaries whenever they are confronted by someone with a severe authoritarian mindset who is at first only being seductive. Someone like that is not vindictive when realizing that all human life is postitive too. Someone like that is not codependant adhering to people pleasing only ways. A person like that in some situations can defend themselves too.
Top man in the job x respect dr carter ! You know the narcissist job inside out 😂 proper real servant of God ! Keep spreading light 🙏🍀 stay lucky & have a great evening & the best of dreams too
I’d love to see this in the world someday. I know I’m an idealistic thinker, but one can hope and I’m always on that hope train. 🚂 I’ve had resentment at times at being the only one changing and doing the work in my family, but it’s worth it (even though I’m tired.) 😂 People will either change and grow with you, or they will fall away. Either way, it’s for the best. (P.S. - It won’t feel good, but it’s for the best.) Thanks Dr. C! ❤
This is what I have been giving a lot of thought to lately. We are starting to understand the problem, now .. how do we change things? Dysfunctional behaviour is so celebrated in our society. As long as we continue to reward this, that is where the focus will remain .. seems like it is on us (as a society) to stop positively reinforcing this behaviour 🫠
Gee, this doesn't bode well for the narcissist in my life. To them, having a relationship is all about a one-way street, and guess in which direction that goes!!! Their needs are to be met at every turn, or they go cold, hostile, and disdainful. Even when they GET what they want, they are still hostile and disdainful!!!!! Apparently, I am supposed to accept their projection that I am a disgusting individual!!!
This is really fine fine advice. I wholeheartedly embrace it, thank you Dr. Les. However I would caution everyone who has a narcissist in their life, or if you think you do, I can't imagine them seeing anything wrong with themselves or feeling like they need to change, so I'm just not sure how far anyone would get with an attempt to ask them to change their behavior or outlook towards you. I'm just saying my friends, don't waste your time. Some people aren't going to change, have no intention of changing, and that's how it is. Depending on how we feel when we're around them and how they treat us, this may be unacceptable. I just think that some people are open to change and others won't or can't and it's important for our well-being and mental health that we know the difference.
Malignant narcissist are a societal wrecking ball. Many of them are business owners, supervisors and managers. I've seen them make jobs that would be awesome suck because you can't enjoy doing your job when you've got to deal with an overgrown child all day long at work. The only way to change this is to find these people and shun them for life.
Agreed. A truly selfish person or narcissist doesn't seem like they're capable of being happy and I can't imagine they would willingly ever try to change any aspect of their behavior.
@@usauditresponse Narcissist don't change for their victims because they see them as pathetic. There's got to be some incentive for a person to change and narcissist don't see an incentive to stop trying to control other people. I'm not wrong.
@@rwdchannel2901 I see your point of view, however as a narcissist myself in the process of changing my behavior I'll have to politely disagree. People can change with the proper motivation and effort. I'm personally tired of living a life of empty relationships and no connections to people.
@@usauditresponse You don't simply change one day. It takes at least 5-10 years of intensive behavior therapy with at least a visit to your PH.D. level psychologist every 2 weeks to know if you're progressing. The reason your victims aren't talking to you is because life is too short to wait 5-10 years of you going through intensive behavioral therapy every 2 weeks to see if it worked. The only way I can see a narcissist changing is they have everything taken from them and are so broken down they have to rebuild their personality. That is extremely rare.
Dear Dr Carter Thank you so much again for your wonderful lessons and guidance ! I am so happy to greet you and hear you daily. Many warm greetings to you and your loved ones for the festive season. May you all have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year, in health and affability. By the way .. . this is a beautiful shirt you are wearing today, those colours are quite favourable to your physique.
Listening. YES. Have been tuning into your videos for quite a while now. * Awakened to the point where I don't have any reason to think that I would attract another Narcissist to me again. What I did do was examine what brought this person into my life to begin with, by then up-leveling beliefs half-baked from childhood.
Dr.C I found one of those videos singing new songs at st Alban church, you always say that Jennifer has this angelic voice, yes that video is the testimony to that, wow! But above all the fact that she is so loving and supporting towards you and your life and your being, that maximising your good qualities makes you a very special couple, I am so honoured to have known you, let those oceans between us carry the love i have for you and your family to your door step. Thank you Doc for being you!
Such kind words, Fred. You just made my day...perhaps more than you may know. Thank you. Also, since you found the St. Alban's You Tube channel, there is a section of videos, Sunday school. If you look for the 12/3 lesson, I'm the teacher, and I'll be teaching 12/10 and 12/17. I identify as Christian, but my religion is love...which is universal.
Thank you for this video. I am ministering to several dear friends, and your videos are so very helpful. I appreciate your heart to help others. Thank you for equipping me to help my friends. I thank the Lord for your channel. My heart is encouraged.
I don't like controlling people! I feel narcissism when that happens! Judgemental gossip deflection and all that fun stuff! It really angers me and it is so hard for me to bite my tongue! I don't want to put up and shut up! I think i have strangled so many people in my head! Every now and then i will give them an edge of innuendoes to get them to think but I still don't think they got it! It gets some of it off my chest! Grrrr!!!!🤨
This is a outstanding video, Dr Carter. Thank you. This is something that can pertain with others naturally in all walks of life. Good to review this video on a regular basis. So full of just plain goodness.
You are talking about how things should be but they are not , they will not change so i hope this video is about showing the people who are in the middle of a situation like that to know what they need to look for and that it is not healthy for them ,i don't think none narcs need to have a lesson how to behave because they really know ,eventho we mess up sometimes .
Maybe slightly off topic but sometimes I enjoy thinking about how better the world might be if we found a way to keep narcissists out of politics. Also off topic, but nice shirt Dr. C.
Thank you .... "...a reconstruction of personal priorities...." I guess that's the process I'm in now. Some of my priorities are fine. I just haven't cleared it all out yet and finalized. Recognizing my husband's disability (narcissism) has been very helpful and essential. I have to be the leader now-- a role I never wanted. (servant leader). I continue to be shocked by his senseless need for deception. It appears at the strangest times and seems to have no purpose. I can make adjustments for his inability to problem-solve-- at least to some extent. I don't know if I'll ever hit a wall or central core that I cannot accept. We'll see. (if his uncontrollable anger and rage had continued, I could not have carried on. He seems to have realized I was serious, though I doubt that any action of mine could have made this change in him alone.) Thanks again; and, best wishes to you and your family.
Only if I dump him. I know him pretty well. I know he is incapable of a really deep relationship. I have no illusions about that. There was a time when I would have feared for my safety just on a day to day basis. I guess I still retain a piece of that. But, not only would it get much uglier if we broke up, I would still then be on my own; so, if he wants me to take all the responsibilities now and I move forward with that, what have I lost? Nothing. I now know to disregard some of the things he says, etc. and can maintain my level of self-respect, etc, better. @@caroleminke6116
It's hereditary--genetic roulette. Some off spring get it and some don't. You carry the genes for the disorder and can pass it on even if you're not affected. I come from two lines of narcissists and sociopaths so I chose not to have kids in order not to pass them on.
Yes, I will keep working but it's so difficult when the covert narcs pretended to be dedicated to these ideals. They told me they loved me while doing a terrible smear campaign on me so I would look bad if I told anyone about their son's (my husband) terrible alcoholism and other addictions. Image was everthing to them. But there was so much dysfunction and so many skeletons in their closet. But if they could just smear me and blame ME. And so much more pain...even involving the death of my daughter. I'm working through it with therapist help. I've got to be patient with myself as I even figure out what love is. The narcissist abuse went on for decades. I don't like myself and what it did to me but will make a commitment to healingc
Im guessing there has to be a fairly strong genetic component.... But I wouldn't be afraid of having children. You've seen those shows about children of serial killers right? They're completely normal other than the trauma that comes from having a completely evil or crazy parent. If you truly want children then I wouldn't hold off having them just because of this. I'm sure with your type of guidance they would turn out fine. Of course if you're dead set against it but still want a family, there's always adoption.
@YourCapybaraAmigo_17yrsago Thanks for the encouragement but I'm too old to have kids and didn't want to though babies are adorable. Personality disorders run down both sides of my family, going back to great grandparents. About half of offspring are affected, so I likely would have had at least one and didn't want to risk it. Both parents, both siblings and half of my nieces and nephews have personality disorders. My pets are well behaved and well liked but they don't have my genes!
In Thanksgiving: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( Presentation- awareness- mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : btw: thank you 🙏: again: thank you 🙏
I tried all of this and it still doesnt work. Because gratification of their lower primal state is too strong. They must get a dopamine hit from nastiness. They dont want to get better.
One change will wipe out narcissism, that is to trust in Christ and He cleanses us from our sins. When Christ lives in us we want to be like Him. A changed heart is the only way for someone to be completely changed on the inside.
I think the only way for a narcissist to accept Jesus is for them to hit rock bottom and admit nothing they do works. They would be forced to humble themselves. Stop trusting in themselves.
@@ccdm515 Yeah, I am aware of that. Many narcissists go into religion, especially Christianity. They go into all denominations. And I have a feeling most of the Independent Fundamental Baptist preachers are narcissists, based on how they act, what they preach about, and how easy it is to get into power there compared to larger churches. I've noticed compared to other denominations, IFB Christians seem to act more narcissistic in general compared to every other kind of Christian.
@@ccdm515 it isn't a matter of being "religious", it is a matter of trusting in Christ and His changing us into a new creation. No one is changed by trying hard themselves, we become changed when we trust in Christ and He changes our hearts completely opposite of what they were before He changed us. No one can change themselves they must ask God to change them.
@@Dj.D25 many people who say they are Christians have never been changed by Christ because they wanted to have religion but they didn't want Him. It is only in Christ that we can be changed by Him.
In Thanksgiving: ; USA 🇺🇸: btw: Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( presenter: awareness/ mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : thank you 😊: it is wonderful
The list will be printed by tomorrow on Dr Carter's website 😉 I will give you the 7 changes for I made already notes: 1. Reflex to control into willingness to serve 2. Indifference into conscientiousness 3. Convinning into openness 4. Agitation into respect 5. Binary thinking into analytical thinking 6. Being judgmental into being descriptive 7. Disdain for goodness into integrity
In Thanksgiving: { USA 🇺🇸} : btw: Media Technical Support People and Staff @ Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( Presentation: awareness- mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : btw: thank you 😊
I believe psychedelics may be the cure for narcissism. Psychedelics dissolve the ego and one experiences oneness with God and all others and everything. It would experientially restore that broken connection and make them whole again. I’m very hopeful about this. I would love to have Les research this and hear his opinion. Psychedelics heal a range of issues. 🙏🏼
1. change reflex to control to desire to serve
2. Change indifference to conscientiousness: blend, reliability, curiosity, helpful, take initiative to inclusiveness
3. Change conniving to being open: authentic, accountable, safe, available
4. Change sense of agitation to respect: maintain dignity, be constructive, be civil, appreciate the value of all
5. Change binary thinking to analytical
6. Change judgmental thinking to descriptive
7. Change disdain for goodness to integrity
Maybe we could put a huge dent in narcissism if we could learn the psychology of their enablers. The people who appear normal and trustworthy, and who want you to accept their narcissist and allow them to sit at your table in your home. Gaslighting the hell out of you when you begin to see the narcissist for what they really are. But often, by then it’s too late for you to undo the damage. I would like to learn about the people who help the narcissist hide.
Change starts with me…and you. I am always impressed with how everyone wants to be treated with dignity and respect yet are disconnected from how their actions affect others.
I don’t trust someone who doesn’t earn it
Very wise, Gertrud. We first need to look how we behave and affect others 🙏💛🙏
@@caroleminke6116 I hear you, Carol.
My hope personally is to somehow access a discernment of spirit intuitively within another upon meeting them, and therefore never be deceived ever again.
At this point that seems rather farfetched, but I know it is possible.
I met an American born yogi about 2011, who was mature, and that fellow had wisdom, and he could and did have active instant living insight and the ability to read others, my, karmic contents, without my telling him anything. He was probably a saint. He was accomplished in purity,
And he bore the fruits of accomplishment. Humble. Helpful.
No greed in him.
Imagine how hard it must be to achieve such a state.
But there was no trace of imposture or arrogance or condemnation in him.
Such persons are exemplary and authentic. . . and in my experience, he is the only such man that I've ever met
Like this beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I really love this video of Dr. Carter, the aim seems to me the same.
MAY WE ALL COME TO EMBODY SUch TRUTH, AGAPE truly, and permanently.
@@caroleminke6116same
I'm not trying to be disrespectful to the Dr . , but everyone of these ideas cannot and will not ever happen. Leave, block , get a restraining order , move , change your number and fb , and a good attorney is your only hope for peace .
This brings hope. I think the next frountier in narcissistic studies is the big pitcture. I am so enthusiastic about a better world for everyone..
I'm can't wait to hear this one, as always.
Me too 🙏❤️
The same! X
I have one weapon in my arsenal against such personalities. I’ve been subjected to many like what you’ve described in my nearly 75 years. One I’m still dealing with but I have the advantage.
I’m old, retired and financially independent so my weapon is simply avoidance.
I have a spouse with a potentially covert NPD. Although not as easy to completely avoid, I do pretty good with that weapon of mine. If she’s gone I stay. If she stays I’m gone.
Not great but it sure works for me.
The only way I survived a 20 year relationship with my ex narc was that he was a OTR truck driver only home on Saturday and Sunday nights. Once he retired, I flew the coop.
I stayed / worked at 2 or 3 jobs even with two kids because he was always HOME! Just to avoid him. Now I have one job and not many hours and struggle to get through a five hour shift. Because I left the narc husband my home is PEACEFUL!!! The adrenaline and need to escape the house is no longer there. 😂 stress and abuse had me do a lot of things to find peace. ❤
@@undercoverbird8592 The only way my relationship survived so long was because the ex narc was an OTR driver. When he retired I split.
It’s SO refreshing to hear someone, ANYONE, holding out a little hope for narcissists. Thank you! Personally, I believe the greatest asset for change for a narcissist (or anyone) is a personal relationship with Jesus.
Sad to say, there were quite a few folks who didn't like Jesus...when he was right there in front of them.
Yes, tragic. Blessings to you and your family. And Gus. ;) @@SurvivingNarcissism
Sorry you felt the need to bring a religious figure into what I thought was more a secular, all-inclusive, therapeutic-friendly discussion.
@@aurelia5614 We live in a world where Jesus is a part of people's lives. I'm sorry you feel the need to control and express that your tiny little universe cannot contain that reality for other people.
@@SurvivingNarcissismVery well said. ❤
I am and did all that you explain in your video and boy, he nearly destroyed me, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
When many of the significant people in your life are/ were pathological narcissists you need to distance yourself from this way of thinking and be honest about your bad behaviors in the past. Having identified narcissistic ideas as undesirable is a good start in the right direction, in my opinion.
The older I get, the better I understand consciousness. I have raised my children to put each-other first, to tell the truth and to be humble. I’ve taught them to take up for themselves without always having to have the last word or be “right”. Just be truthful, and remember that you never know what someone else is going through. It is shocking to deal with narcissistic adults, because they have so little respect for others. Everyone has a story, they have inner personal pain and a need for peace. Lately I have been a bit more careful to just simply be there for the people in my circle. I can’t control all the chaos, but I can make sure not to be a part of the problem. It does take pain to wake us up sometimes. And it’s something we have to be grateful for, even the hard stuff, because only then do we learn and appropriately change!
Hey, Gus! I read this article before listening and so many things popped out! Like I used to say that my second-ex had a "hidden agenda". And I just could not figure it out. I would look at him and think, "how can someone who appears to be so 'normal' really not be?" And whenever we would have conflict arise, he would say, "people can change, Diane". Sometimes that "change" is only while the narcissist is in front of you. Unfortunately in my life, things still remained the same behind my back.
You’re such a brilliant Doctor to bring this Manifesto forth. Thank You.
An idealistic mindset that would wipe out Narcissism by these changes:
1. Reflex to control into willingness to serve
2. Indifference into conscientiousness
3. Convinning into openness
4. Agitation into respect
5. Binary thinking into analytical thinking
6. Being judgmental into being descriptive
7. Disdain for goodness into integrity
Questions:
~ Are you in enough pain to do the work?
~ Do you have the resolve to do what is necessary?
~ Is this your own idea or from s.o. else?
~ Are you willing to receive coaching/insight/input?
~ Are you willing to make restitution?
~ Are you focused on character?
~ Are you willing to learn and process life long?
Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
Thanks, Roxy!!
@@SurvivingNarcissism You are welcome, Dr Carter 🙏💛🙏
Fabulous thanks 🙏❤️
Thank you for summarizing it ✍
@@amandaliverpool3374 Thank you, Amanda ❤
Change starts with ourselves. What a great video that we reflect on ourselves first before looking at other people’s actions. Thank you, Dr. Carter.
I found the most help through NA, as a narcissist i can say without doubt we have many more issues than narcissism. It was a humbling experience and made me look outside of myself.
Wow, Dr C! Profound! ❤Perfect for those of us who have been knocked off-center by long term abuse by narcissistic family members. Regular review of these 7 changes will be my guide as I restore my groundedness. Thank you. 🙏
Thank you for this video. I'm signed up with BetterHelp, just waiting for an appointment. Narcissism has poisoned three generations of my family, maybe more, from my mother, to my first husband, to my younger son. I've played the role of "people pleaser" and guilt-ridden recovered alcoholic. I remember a time during my unhappy marriage to my ex when I was growing narcissistic: drinking, feeling sorry for myself, abusing a friend whom I ultimately lost, and to whom I apologized at the end. I can see narcissism can develop in any of us, and I'm working to become someone I'm proud to be.
Personally, these are all very nice points, but I don’t think narcissists ever change. They are quite content in manipulating others.
Hi to Gus!
With my ex, I 👍💯%
Agree!
We can change, been workimg on it for a few years now. It takes effort, but anyone can change with time and actions. I do not acceot that I can't change my behavior.
Bless you and thank you for your work, Dr C. I have learned and grown so much watching your videos. The divorce is on the horizon and financial settlement seems to be speeding up. Fingers crossed I don't end up homeless again (twice in the past 4 years), but he has done his worst and I am still standing. He could (finally) take my home away from me after I have just got back into it, but I can rescue myself and my child again if I have to. Prayers are welcome, Team Healthy. Lots of well wishing to all of you. Hugs to Gus xx
Thanks for the update, Anne. I wish you the best.
❤
‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ The Golden Rule. It’s offensive to man’s sinful nature. I recently was confronted by your direction today. Thank you, Dr. Carter, for the expansive definition.
Change is a good thing. These changes would be GREAT.
Hey Aaron...If you'd be interested in seeing me teach a class, on You Tube, go to St. Albans Episcopal Church, then look for Sunday School 12/3. It is the first of a 3 part series this month. The other two will upload as well after they are presented.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Found it. Will watch today.
@@SurvivingNarcissism That was an amazing talk you gave. I wish every Sunday School/Bible Study watched this. I will be waiting for the others to upload.
@@SurvivingNarcissism
Please let St Alban's Episcopal Church know that your Sunday School classes on youtube will be an international ecumenical meeting point 👍 💫🌟 😇💛
Catholic from Italy here.
And I'm sure, when they read your message, there will be many other Christians from different churches and countries joining your Jesus & Narcissism series on St. Alban's Waco channel.
*Thank you so much*
@@well_weathered
Same here. So precious Bible Study / meditation for all Christians!!
It's great to hear some concrete steps to reverse narcissism. Thanks Dr Carter
With God all things are possible
Ok awesome!!
Toward beginning you said ppl may have been in connection with a narc and find themselves having reactions that may tend that way and they STOP and think ok I don’t want to go that way. That’s me! I guard my reactions and thoughts cuz I don’t ever want to try to control other ppl or anything else a narc and unhealthy ppl do. 😊
Even if they could work on turning the nastiness down a few notches, that would help, but I'm not holding my breath. I continue to work on me!
Amanda ❤, I would refer this list as a checklist for yourself. At least I am using the points to look where I need to work on 😉
Wishing you a peaceful evening 🕊🤗
@roxymovie3938 Thanks Roxy 😊
Now that we have a plan, let's make it happen.
Dr C, thank you for your continued calm, sage advice and insights to help us cope with narcissism. If I feel particularly tense about any issues, besides your soothing tones, if I glance at Gus, he makes me smile and feel more at ease. He embodies that sense of peace. 🙂
Here’s wishing you get well soon. Hi to Gus.
Thank you, I'm mending!
I truly believe people working on narcissistic issues and abuse treatment CAN change the systems response to and for victims of emotional abuse laws..in theory, at least.
Years ago, victims of domestic violence cases were told by the justice system and therapists that "emotional abuse is almost impossible to prove" even though the signs and damage was clear to them. .They too were powerless to effect change.
Thank you for what you do for all those hoping for a better day for our children. ❤🙏
God bless you.
Merry Christmas
After listening to this, Dr.C, the first impression I had was, "This is very wise and Christlike, biblically correct teaching." Sooo consistent with the Scripture and teachings of Christ, very much so.
Glad you picked up on that!!
Parents must instil within their children the sense of empathy, as it is elemental to being a soulful human being.
Yes, and the earlier the better.
This experience with this narcissistic individual has made me vigilant moving forward. Looking back for the past two and a half years being put through a sifter has made me realize that my health and well-being is extremely important to me and will NEVER compromise the love I have for myself and my darling children for people who never want to help themselves. God has given me blessings to reflect core values of self worthiness with respect, integrity and a law abiding citizen. This is the stepping stone to success. Thank you very much for this education as it has opened a door way to understand that people whom you trust are just simply untrustworthy that doll lead you down the beaten track to disaster. God bless.!❤
Dr Carter, This was a very interesting video as i am also someone who has had many narcissists in her life of 69 years. I have been practicing getting along for years. My latest step is to see my younger brother next week. I have not seen him for 3 1/2 years due to his wife, my sister in-law who it very difficult. My brother texted me his “happy birthday’ text last week. I decided to text back that I miss him and would so enjoy seeing him. I asked if he would like to get together just the 2 of us. He said yes, eagerly. I have held back doing this earlier, due to his wife getting very angry that we would like to have even a lunch together as brother/sister. Now at this age, I have decided to go ahead and see my brother, if he is willing.
So next week we are having a meetup. I think he is just as happy as me about it! 😊 After listening to this video 2 times, referring to my brothers wife, only, I find so many of your changes extremely hard and impossible. I would fall back into the control of her and do not want to do that anymore. My ease of ‘people pleasing’ now no longer wants to be emotionally abused any more. I do not deserve it. So, this meetup with my brother again has no plan to get together with his wife,/my sister in-law. I just want to see my little brother….
Can this work? I do not know. Am I willing to try? Yes, I am. Is my brother? Yes….(I will wait and hope he does not cancel out. ) Are we hurting anyone doing this? No way. Just a brother and sister talking and laughing, like we used to. Will his wife get wind of this and threaten him? I do not know…Do I care about that? Yes,…..that’s why I have waited so long…However…I care about me now…No harm is seeing him again.
I hope this write up of mine can help someone else. Do not wait to do something that feels right to you. It’s ok and approved to trust your own instincts. Time moves so fast. Don’t let your feeling/emotions/hurts get squashed down anymore inside you. No longer will narcissist control me. (Practice, practice, practice) It’s not healthy. I am living proof of that as a survivor of breast cancer and a ruptured brain aneurysm. I am a miracle and remind myself daily now. I want people back in my life who care about me. I miss them.
Wish me luck and send a prayer, please Thanks for reading. ❤
Such encouraging thoughts. Thanks for passing along your wisdom!
Anytime! Always ready to help😊
t seems to me that you and your brother have kind intentions and healthy mindsets. Sending wishes for Health, Dignity, Civility and Respect to prevail in your situation.
It's really rather incredible how oblivious narcissists are about their conduct. There's rarely any reflection or self awareness on their part. So that pretty much guarantees there won't be any change in the behavior.
I want a ringtone with the music playing in your intros that can be designated for the narcissists that call. 🙂
I made my ringtone annoying when my ex calls....luckily, I hold the control button to my own life now instead of HIM!😂
The song is "Hurricane" by "the Band of Heathens"
Enjoy!
Respect is not in the narcissists vocabulary. Hard to have respect while the narcissists rages yells and curses at you non stop. I’m at the point where I can’t leave my house yet so I do everything separate. Meals etc. the narky I’m with doesn’t lift a finger with household chores. The most revenge I can get is watching him not have clean dishes to use or cooked meals to eat.
Eye opening, Dr. Carter! In 30+ years of Christian Counseling, I have not met a narcissist, until now. I want to help but must be called to it by The Father. (Her boss is a friend. She claims to be a Christian though her actions are anathema to every teaching of Yeshua/Jesus.)
Wisdom requires Holy Spirit to lead and donning Ephesians 6 full armour, prior to entering into the lioness' territory.
Thank you from my heart, Sir! I will pray for God's Will to be done since some brokenness and humbling (to admit need for help) would necessarily precipitate. God Bless You!
My ex has broken my spirit over and over hundreds of times no matter how I tried to go overboard with techniques to help the situation but after 13 years, I was having a breakdown and had to leave. I was losing my mind but now, 4 years later I'm better but I'll never fully trust another relationship...at least not right now
What a great 'take' on this subject- presenting something in a way that is outside the box. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Have you noticed that narcissistic injury and humiliation looks like a butterfly effect from Chaos Theory? It is a Non linear effect, where output (humiliation) is disproportionate to input (tiny slight, insult)@@SurvivingNarcissism
Because brain is a dynamical system.@@SurvivingNarcissism
Thank you Dr Les Carter.🙏🌟💜
Being hard to please is not the same thing as someone who is determined to maintain their boundaries whenever they are confronted by someone with a severe authoritarian mindset who is at first only being seductive. Someone like that is not vindictive when realizing that all human life is postitive too. Someone like that is not codependant adhering to people pleasing only ways. A person like that in some situations can defend themselves too.
“This is the ME show!” OMG so awesome!! 👍👍
ACCOUNTABILITY
Top man in the job x respect dr carter ! You know the narcissist job inside out 😂 proper real servant of God ! Keep spreading light 🙏🍀 stay lucky & have a great evening & the best of dreams too
I’d love to see this in the world someday. I know I’m an idealistic thinker, but one can hope and I’m always on that hope train. 🚂 I’ve had resentment at times at being the only one changing and doing the work in my family, but it’s worth it (even though I’m tired.) 😂 People will either change and grow with you, or they will fall away. Either way, it’s for the best. (P.S. - It won’t feel good, but it’s for the best.)
Thanks Dr. C! ❤
💗💗💗Hear ya, those of us need each & community can’t happen alone
Did not Ireland pass law against narcissism?
This is what I have been giving a lot of thought to lately. We are starting to understand the problem, now .. how do we change things? Dysfunctional behaviour is so celebrated in our society. As long as we continue to reward this, that is where the focus will remain .. seems like it is on us (as a society) to stop positively reinforcing this behaviour 🫠
Gee, this doesn't bode well for the narcissist in my life. To them, having a relationship is all about a one-way street, and guess in which direction that goes!!! Their needs are to be met at every turn, or they go cold, hostile, and disdainful. Even when they GET what they want, they are still hostile and disdainful!!!!! Apparently, I am supposed to accept their projection that I am a disgusting individual!!!
This is really fine fine advice. I wholeheartedly embrace it, thank you Dr. Les. However I would caution everyone who has a narcissist in their life, or if you think you do, I can't imagine them seeing anything wrong with themselves or feeling like they need to change, so I'm just not sure how far anyone would get with an attempt to ask them to change their behavior or outlook towards you.
I'm just saying my friends, don't waste your time. Some people aren't going to change, have no intention of changing, and that's how it is. Depending on how we feel when we're around them and how they treat us, this may be unacceptable.
I just think that some people are open to change and others won't or can't and it's important for our well-being and mental health that we know the difference.
Malignant narcissist are a societal wrecking ball. Many of them are business owners, supervisors and managers. I've seen them make jobs that would be awesome suck because you can't enjoy doing your job when you've got to deal with an overgrown child all day long at work. The only way to change this is to find these people and shun them for life.
Agreed. A truly selfish person or narcissist doesn't seem like they're capable of being happy and I can't imagine they would willingly ever try to change any aspect of their behavior.
You're wrong, we can change. Anyone can change with effort. I refuse to believe I'm not able to change. Happy New Year
@@usauditresponse Narcissist don't change for their victims because they see them as pathetic. There's got to be some incentive for a person to change and narcissist don't see an incentive to stop trying to control other people. I'm not wrong.
@@rwdchannel2901 I see your point of view, however as a narcissist myself in the process of changing my behavior I'll have to politely disagree. People can change with the proper motivation and effort. I'm personally tired of living a life of empty relationships and no connections to people.
@@usauditresponse You don't simply change one day. It takes at least 5-10 years of intensive behavior therapy with at least a visit to your PH.D. level psychologist every 2 weeks to know if you're progressing. The reason your victims aren't talking to you is because life is too short to wait 5-10 years of you going through intensive behavioral therapy every 2 weeks to see if it worked. The only way I can see a narcissist changing is they have everything taken from them and are so broken down they have to rebuild their personality. That is extremely rare.
Yes I agree that there is a crisis of character in a very self centred world
Excellent, thank you.
absolutely beautiful. I am going to write out these 7 changes and put them on my wall.
Dear Dr Carter Thank you so much again for your wonderful lessons and guidance ! I am so happy to greet you and hear you daily.
Many warm greetings to you and your loved ones for the festive season.
May you all have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year, in health and affability.
By the way .. . this is a beautiful shirt you are wearing today, those colours are quite favourable to your physique.
Listening. YES. Have been tuning into your videos for quite a while now. * Awakened to the point where I don't have any reason to think that I would attract another Narcissist to me again. What I did do was examine what brought this person into my life to begin with, by then up-leveling beliefs half-baked from childhood.
Dr.C I found one of those videos singing new songs at st Alban church, you always say that Jennifer has this angelic voice, yes that video is the testimony to that, wow!
But above all the fact that she is so loving and supporting towards you and your life and your being, that maximising your good qualities makes you a very special couple, I am so honoured to have known you, let those oceans between us carry the love i have for you and your family to your door step. Thank you Doc for being you!
Such kind words, Fred. You just made my day...perhaps more than you may know. Thank you. Also, since you found the St. Alban's You Tube channel, there is a section of videos, Sunday school. If you look for the 12/3 lesson, I'm the teacher, and I'll be teaching 12/10 and 12/17. I identify as Christian, but my religion is love...which is universal.
@@SurvivingNarcissism yes love take care of everything in life and beyond that. 🙏
Thank you dr Carter . ❤ God bless you ❤
Thank you, Doctor C.
Thank you for this video. I am ministering to several dear friends, and your videos are so very helpful. I appreciate your heart to help others. Thank you for equipping me to help my friends. I thank the Lord for your channel. My heart is encouraged.
Thanks!
Dr. Carter, I wish you would be a speaker at government agencies, starting in Texas.
I LOVE this video! Thank you Dr Carter for bringing hope , respect and encouragement. You are so insightful.
You are so welcome!
I don't like controlling people! I feel narcissism when that happens! Judgemental gossip deflection and all that fun stuff! It really angers me and it is so hard for me to bite my tongue! I don't want to put up and shut up! I think i have strangled so many people in my head! Every now and then i will give them an edge of innuendoes to get them to think but I still don't think they got it! It gets some of it off my chest! Grrrr!!!!🤨
These have been so helpful. Thank you
Don't these changes have to be made by the narcissist? Why would they change even one thing about themselves? They're already perfect!
Well, therein lies the problem.
Just not possible for most
This is Excellent!!
Thank you so much for your vise words and knowledge
This is a outstanding video, Dr Carter. Thank you. This is something that can pertain with others naturally in all walks of life. Good to review this video on a regular basis. So full of just plain goodness.
It is hard work, but you have really helped me.
God bless you!!! Such beautiful teaching!!!
You are talking about how things should be but they are not , they will not change so i hope this video is about showing the people who are in the middle of a situation like that to know what they need to look for and that it is not healthy for them ,i don't think none narcs need to have a lesson how to behave because they really know ,eventho we mess up sometimes .
Taking notes. This is a very intelligent and optimistic, healthy way of looking at realistic solutions. Thanks Dr. C.
You're welcome, Maxwell!
i look so forward to this video for sure. Thank you for a great video Dr. Carter. It certainly gives me much to ponder.
So pleased, Alice!
Thank you Dr Carter. Merry Christmas.
Thanks, Dane!
Beautiful topic. Thank you for this!!!
I'm exusted this made me fearless of everything though! It's like bring it on!
Great video. Thanks
Glad you liked it!
For the record- wishing you, your family and Gus ( a regular dog 🐶) a nice 😊 afternoon and as well a pleasant evening ahead: GOD BLess
Maybe slightly off topic but sometimes I enjoy thinking about how better the world might be if we found a way to keep narcissists out of politics. Also off topic, but nice shirt Dr. C.
Narcissists love the seat of power...they forget the public servant part.
Thank you .... "...a reconstruction of personal priorities...." I guess that's the process I'm in now. Some of my priorities are fine. I just haven't cleared it all out yet and finalized. Recognizing my husband's disability (narcissism) has been very helpful and essential. I have to be the leader now-- a role I never wanted. (servant leader). I continue to be shocked by his senseless need for deception. It appears at the strangest times and seems to have no purpose. I can make adjustments for his inability to problem-solve-- at least to some extent. I don't know if I'll ever hit a wall or central core that I cannot accept. We'll see. (if his uncontrollable anger and rage had continued, I could not have carried on. He seems to have realized I was serious, though I doubt that any action of mine could have made this change in him alone.) Thanks again; and, best wishes to you and your family.
Stay safe because he’s seeking revenge for sure
Only if I dump him. I know him pretty well. I know he is incapable of a really deep relationship. I have no illusions about that. There was a time when I would have feared for my safety just on a day to day basis. I guess I still retain a piece of that. But, not only would it get much uglier if we broke up, I would still then be on my own; so, if he wants me to take all the responsibilities now and I move forward with that, what have I lost? Nothing. I now know to disregard some of the things he says, etc. and can maintain my level of self-respect, etc, better. @@caroleminke6116
I now believe Gus the sweetheart dog never leaves that couch... In fact he may even be a stuffed decorative fixture! ☺️
Nope! I have seen Gus move, in various videos. He is a comforting health mascot.
@@barbarakelly1916 ha ha, indeed.
I would be for bringing back studies encompassing the field of humanities.
Great idea 💡 👍
@@amandaliverpool3374 Thank you
Thanks I am afraid I am a narsitist. I hope I am capable of getting better.
I will have a mindset of service … but not towards people who don’t respect me.
It's hereditary--genetic roulette. Some off spring get it and some don't. You carry the genes for the disorder and can pass it on even if you're not affected. I come from two lines of narcissists and sociopaths so I chose not to have kids in order not to pass them on.
Nature meets nurture 😢
Yes, I will keep working but it's so difficult when the covert narcs pretended to be dedicated to these ideals. They told me they loved me while doing a terrible smear campaign on me so I would look bad if I told anyone about their son's (my husband) terrible alcoholism and other addictions. Image was everthing to them. But there was so much dysfunction and so many skeletons in their closet. But if they could just smear me and blame ME. And so much more pain...even involving the death of my daughter. I'm working through it with therapist help. I've got to be patient with myself as I even figure out what love is. The narcissist abuse went on for decades. I don't like myself and what it did to me but will make a commitment to healingc
I don't believe it's the genes that carry it. It's our upbringing
Im guessing there has to be a fairly strong genetic component.... But I wouldn't be afraid of having children. You've seen those shows about children of serial killers right? They're completely normal other than the trauma that comes from having a completely evil or crazy parent.
If you truly want children then I wouldn't hold off having them just because of this. I'm sure with your type of guidance they would turn out fine. Of course if you're dead set against it but still want a family, there's always adoption.
@YourCapybaraAmigo_17yrsago
Thanks for the encouragement but I'm too old to have kids and didn't want to though babies are adorable. Personality disorders run down both sides of my family, going back to great grandparents. About half of offspring are affected, so I likely would have had at least one and didn't want to risk it. Both parents, both siblings and half of my nieces and nephews have personality disorders. My pets are well behaved and well liked but they don't have my genes!
Happy Holidays to Everyone 😊😊😊😊😊!
Thanks!!
In Thanksgiving: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( Presentation- awareness- mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : btw: thank you 🙏: again: thank you 🙏
I tried all of this and it still doesnt work. Because gratification of their lower primal state is too strong. They must get a dopamine hit from nastiness. They dont want to get better.
One change will wipe out narcissism, that is to trust in Christ and He cleanses us from our sins. When Christ lives in us we want to be like Him. A changed heart is the only way for someone to be completely changed on the inside.
I think the only way for a narcissist to accept Jesus is for them to hit rock bottom and admit nothing they do works. They would be forced to humble themselves. Stop trusting in themselves.
@@ccdm515 Yeah, I am aware of that. Many narcissists go into religion, especially Christianity. They go into all denominations. And I have a feeling most of the Independent Fundamental Baptist preachers are narcissists, based on how they act, what they preach about, and how easy it is to get into power there compared to larger churches. I've noticed compared to other denominations, IFB Christians seem to act more narcissistic in general compared to every other kind of Christian.
@@ccdm515 it isn't a matter of being "religious", it is a matter of trusting in Christ and His changing us into a new creation. No one is changed by trying hard themselves, we become changed when we trust in Christ and He changes our hearts completely opposite of what they were before He changed us. No one can change themselves they must ask God to change them.
@@Dj.D25 many people who say they are Christians have never been changed by Christ because they wanted to have religion but they didn't want Him. It is only in Christ that we can be changed by Him.
thank you
In Thanksgiving: ; USA 🇺🇸: btw: Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( presenter: awareness/ mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : thank you 😊: it is wonderful
7 mindset changes my Guess is.
and when they create ArtificialDependencies/ ArtificialConflict/ ArtificialUrgencies
Can a narcissist be healed? Do they need to do all 7 steps?
Wow at #7
Can't find PRINT COPY. Please help. ❤
The list will be printed by tomorrow on Dr Carter's website 😉
I will give you the 7 changes for I made already notes:
1. Reflex to control into willingness to serve
2. Indifference into conscientiousness
3. Convinning into openness
4. Agitation into respect
5. Binary thinking into analytical thinking
6. Being judgmental into being descriptive
7. Disdain for goodness into integrity
What Roxy said. It will be on the website tomorrow. If you're on our email list (on website) it will be automatically sent to you!
@@SurvivingNarcissismI found it here in show notes.... Shared. I think it's the right one. Many thanks.
@@roxymovie3938many thanks. The article is up. Thanks for the bullet points.
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively You are welcome, Nancy 🙏💛🙏
In Thanksgiving: { USA 🇺🇸} : btw: Media Technical Support People and Staff @ Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.: ( Presentation: awareness- mental health- information ℹ️ fabulous) : btw: thank you 😊
I so wish you were my dad.
What an honor that would be.
By the way marry Christmas to you and your family .
Same to you! Happy holidays!
Love the way Les is addressing woke culture without mentioning woke culture .
*"Conscientious."*
cc. 2023.
Ask me who hired me to create wealth in their lives?
I believe psychedelics may be the cure for narcissism. Psychedelics dissolve the ego and one experiences oneness with God and all others and everything. It would experientially restore that broken connection and make them whole again. I’m very hopeful about this. I would love to have Les research this and hear his opinion. Psychedelics heal a range of issues. 🙏🏼
Agitation into respect to work on.