I will second what the women said here. I reaaally wish men deeply and viscerally understood how women’s true, unlocked sexuality is behind the wall of self-preservation and protection. And if they can make us feel like we’re respected as humans and that they’re safe enough for us to unfurl without us being harmed or betrayed, there is SO MUCH connection, sexual bond and pleasure that can happen!
I agree with Andy that we are in an 'in between' time right now for men. I feel in the past there were some clearer guidelines/examples about how individual men should respect women, even though the rules were not equal, there was respect and honour there. Now, with more equality, the rules are shifting and it puts men (and boys) in a really difficult position, where they are incredibly open to criticism for mis-steps. I am grateful for your show to provide such amazing role models! I wish it appealed to more men - I notice most comments are women. That brings me to my last comment -- that in addition to "emptying the dishwasher," the most sexiest thing is a man speaking about his feelings!!
Oh wow. I know it’s a good one when even after years of therapy and being in the best mental state I have ever been in my life, there is something helpful and new to take away. Excellent guests! Thank you!! 💜
I really enjoyed this vulnerable conversation. As a person, who lost hope long ago, thanks for articulating all the Whys and including also the hard questions... all those Yes Ands.
Justin, Liz, and Jamey - thanks for sharing this. One of my friends sent over this episode, and it's very poignant. I'm the son of 2 parents who have spent 30+ years in therapy and I'm the product of 2 people who are deeply committed to their inner work. There is nothing more manly than being an emotionally available, open and feeling parent! I have a podcast of my own that examines, among many other things, mens mental health. It's called 'Mike's Search for Meaning'. It would be such an incredible honor to interview y'all! I know we'd have a rich exploration together. I know that you are all busy and highly in demand guests, so I'm not expecting anything at all. BUT!: If it's a yes, let's coordinate!
Hi! I absolutely love your podcast-- I listen to them in the car and I am always excited when a new one is posted. I think Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning would be amazing guests on this podcast. On their podcast, Ear Biscuits, they talk about their personas online vs offline, their close lifelong male friendship, going to therapy, being fathers and husbands and their evolving relationship with God. It would be interesting to hear what they would say about masculinity with this group dynamic. Thank you for the wonderful work that you all do!!!
I have listened to all the podcasts by far and funny enough I also listen to John Kim’s podcast on life coaching while driving to work because it’s something I wish to do and wondered how amazing it would be if he was on Man Enough then BOOM I see caption “Updated Monday” and knew I just had to watch this episode on RUclips instead of listening on apple podcast, that song at the end by Andy 🔥
Yes, due to finding this amazing podcast I checked out his site and was BLOWN AWAY by the music there. Can't wait to have a musical collab episode!! Bring it!!
I am a faithful follower of Man Enough podcast. I got really emotional for Humanity song, it reminded me of the 2 of my all time favorite songs, one is called Polaroid, and the other one Freeze, and I went to search it. It turns out Andy Grammer is the author and singer of Freeze 😅 I’m glad my ignorance cleared out 😅 Andy, your songs bring so much joy to my life, I miss singing and playing the guitar again, thank you for reminding me that. ❤ oh and, I hope you release the song soon, it is now a torture not being able to play it in repeat😅❤️ Thank you again🥰
42:05 - 42:30 Really touched on a topic that I've realized and think about a lot. My question is, however, how can boys/men get that message forwarded to them if they don't have a community of men at the moment and then aren't listening to the women in their life. The discussion does lead into the limitations of our influence, how some people might not be ready to listen, and will opt for saying no thank you. This is something I will sit with and consider more, but do you have any recommendations on instigating their desire/interest to be better as a human and a man?
Thought I would suggest the brilliant Ogenagan Chief Oren Lyons. The Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) people's powerful understanding of the balance of women and men could shed a powerful light on this subject. (Man Enough)
Awesome podcast! But I wonder if using language around exertion works in this case (reaching potential, stepping up, accountability). Isn't this about being ok with being vulnerable? Great conversation though, I wish more people listened to this, I will do my part and share:)
Hellow form Italy, big fan of yours here. I love all the latest episodes, I'm wondering if you'll ever get a polyamorous person on the podcast, I think it would give a very specific and concrete prospective on love, trust and vulnerability. Thanks for all the amazing work 🌈
I have a question. The therapists might understand, from an attachmennt theory viewpoint, would it help take some of the scrutiny and criticism off men to reframe the emotional literacy as an avoidant issue. Like I know I have dismissive avoidant tendencies, irrespective of gender, and I know anxiously attached people don't get it at first, their issues cause them to assign malicious motives to our maladaptive coping strategies. So we all gotta put down our weapons. The poem was so cringy. Did not believe it for a second. If he had shared it privately, not referenced sex repeatedly. He even went out of his way to say that he wouldn't be getting on his knee. She needs to give that dude a deadline, stop letting him waste her time with BS.
oh sis 45:00 you said it all. I actually do like him in many respects, have read his work, so am not bagging on him. But girl, you just called him out. He should NOT be repeatedly hurting you, knowing where your wounds are. Smh, all due respect for Kim, but girl dtmfa.
I do agree about putting down the weapons. I always feel a little like I wan to defend the men I know when I feel they are under attack. I didn't see the poem that way. I did believe that he was being authentic and real and just trying to be one of the 'good guys' and showing up for his woman. It must be so hard for men. They are told to 'show up' more and when they do they really put themselves out there for critcism to come in. I'm sorry if you have been hurt by men w.r.t. sex and commitment. :(
I hope John Kim sees my comment: I used to follow him and was in his Facebook group. This was before cancel culture was even a thing. I was disturbed that John felt it was okay as a male and Therapist to use the word ‘bitch,’ especially when so many of the people who followed him were women. So I was not surprised when John was “blown away” by the comment about honoring women. I’m Ojibwe. I come from a matriarchal culture. We traditionally view women as sacred because they are lifegivers. We honor women. I called John out in a post when I left the group for using that dehumanizing word. I hope John does better now. Red flags go up for me when people decry cancel culture. It makes me feel they have something to hide. What is truly manly enough is to own past and current mistakes (that we all obviously make) and do better!
There's something extremely irritating about bringing up a correlational study to imply that somehow men CAUSE a lower life expectancy in their partners (30:50). Perhaps a more nuanced discussion rather than agreeing with each other would be good next time. Not hating, just pointing out something to improve the quality of discourse and lead the viewers/listeners by example.
@aeneas I see your frustration and it’s probably the same reaction that John had when Vanessa brought it up. Problem with certain humans, and just tends to me more women, is that we try to control too many things out of our control. & I think this is perpetuated by society setting such high standards on the expectations of both men and women. Men can let go of a lot of shit easier than women can. Maybe it’s compartmentalism. Maybe it’s just less hormonal influence. But even the discussion of beige underwear. I disagree with Liz. We don’t wear it for men. We wear it not to be judged by other women. By society. You can’t wear a sexy bra under a shirt than can be seen…what does that say about you? So that mentality drives women to compete with women and men to compete with men. So dropping the competition, letting go of expectations, and just accepting and giving love in relationships releases both parties from the self created stressors and ultimately…shortened life.
I really enjoyed the show but this was an unfortunate undercurrent throughout. A fairly tenuous connection to the science, which is fine, as long as you provide qualifiers. But a lot of just blanket statements and personal opinions sans caveats. Generalizations and personal viewpoints are necessary but they hand waved away so much, instead of interacting with the data in a more granular and nuanced way. Looking forward to more shows though, their hearts are truly in it.
![Coheed and Cambria - Searching for Tomorrow [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hDsYGLbmadg/mqdefault.jpg)
As a single woman listening to these discussions I am beginning to feel hope that I won’t be alone forever.
We're so glad you enjoyed the episode!
I will second what the women said here. I reaaally wish men deeply and viscerally understood how women’s true, unlocked sexuality is behind the wall of self-preservation and protection. And if they can make us feel like we’re respected as humans and that they’re safe enough for us to unfurl without us being harmed or betrayed, there is SO MUCH connection, sexual bond and pleasure that can happen!
Yes yes yes. Yes. Yes.
Absolutely!
Amen!
The song was the highlight of the conversation🥺🥺🥺 A man of a few words but the singing was the most heart warming gift
Andy’s song was beautiful it gave me goosebumps.
Us too!
I agree with Andy that we are in an 'in between' time right now for men. I feel in the past there were some clearer guidelines/examples about how individual men should respect women, even though the rules were not equal, there was respect and honour there. Now, with more equality, the rules are shifting and it puts men (and boys) in a really difficult position, where they are incredibly open to criticism for mis-steps. I am grateful for your show to provide such amazing role models! I wish it appealed to more men - I notice most comments are women. That brings me to my last comment -- that in addition to "emptying the dishwasher," the most sexiest thing is a man speaking about his feelings!!
" you know know whats wrong with you ", before i know so i can be vulnerable ", SO TRUE!!!😲👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
"There is no ONE, only the RIGHT person" 🤯 This changes everything for me.
I AM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY HAD THEM🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
We are too. John has been a friend of Man Enough since the beginning.
Oh wow. I know it’s a good one when even after years of therapy and being in the best mental state I have ever been in my life, there is something helpful and new to take away. Excellent guests! Thank you!! 💜
Thank you! Appreciate you sharing so honestly.
I'm crying. Great episode. Super insightful. Super refreshing. Thank you.
This episode was amazing. I think it's one of my favorites so far.
Thank you! We love it too. Thought it would be a great way to start the new year.
Andy's song was BEAUTIFUL... is it on spotify?
I love your show and I really need Andy's song in a format I can have on repeat
This show, this episode… and then the song …. Truly perfection ✨🪄❤️
Andy please release this song.
I really enjoyed this vulnerable conversation. As a person, who lost hope long ago, thanks for articulating all the Whys and including also the hard questions... all those Yes Ands.
Thank you for sharing. We hope you can find hope again.
Justin, Liz, and Jamey - thanks for sharing this. One of my friends sent over this episode, and it's very poignant. I'm the son of 2 parents who have spent 30+ years in therapy and I'm the product of 2 people who are deeply committed to their inner work. There is nothing more manly than being an emotionally available, open and feeling parent!
I have a podcast of my own that examines, among many other things, mens mental health. It's called 'Mike's Search for Meaning'.
It would be such an incredible honor to interview y'all! I know we'd have a rich exploration together. I know that you are all busy and highly in demand guests, so I'm not expecting anything at all. BUT!: If it's a yes, let's coordinate!
Beautiful song and needs to be released!
Hi! I absolutely love your podcast-- I listen to them in the car and I am always excited when a new one is posted. I think Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning would be amazing guests on this podcast. On their podcast, Ear Biscuits, they talk about their personas online vs offline, their close lifelong male friendship, going to therapy, being fathers and husbands and their evolving relationship with God. It would be interesting to hear what they would say about masculinity with this group dynamic.
Thank you for the wonderful work that you all do!!!
Your show on last days I was so inspiring and so many other got inspired who has died and is dying .Your such an inspiration thank you
Beautiful vocals !!😮😮
I have listened to all the podcasts by far and funny enough I also listen to John Kim’s podcast on life coaching while driving to work because it’s something I wish to do and wondered how amazing it would be if he was on Man Enough then BOOM I see caption “Updated Monday” and knew I just had to watch this episode on RUclips instead of listening on apple podcast, that song at the end by Andy 🔥
Jamey should sing too, maybe in another episode ❤
It's true - he is a wonderful musician.
Yes, due to finding this amazing podcast I checked out his site and was BLOWN AWAY by the music there. Can't wait to have a musical collab episode!! Bring it!!
I am a faithful follower of Man Enough podcast. I got really emotional for Humanity song, it reminded me of the 2 of my all time favorite songs, one is called Polaroid, and the other one Freeze, and I went to search it. It turns out Andy Grammer is the author and singer of Freeze 😅 I’m glad my ignorance cleared out 😅 Andy, your songs bring so much joy to my life, I miss singing and playing the guitar again, thank you for reminding me that. ❤ oh and, I hope you release the song soon, it is now a torture not being able to play it in repeat😅❤️ Thank you again🥰
Thank you for sharing! Glad you enjoyed it. It was a truly special moment of the recording.
Loved this episode ❤ really enjoyed listening to vanessa, john, and andy's beautiful song ✨✨
Beautiful song. Touched my heart. Thank you. ✨✨✨
It's such a beautiful song!
The short poem, SO CUTE!
Oh my Goodness that song was so beautiful, thank you for sharing that and for being vulnerable and genuine 🙏💕
That song…brought to mind a recent beauty I found…Manly Man by Delacy & Emily Weisband.
It’s gorgeous.
So beautiful.
Wonderful podcast! Love John & Vanessa and this podcast collab.
This episode makes me feel so hopeful 🥰 thank you!
WE are so happy it resinated with you
That was absolutely awesome !
Thank you!
I looooved Andy's song what is it called?
42:05 - 42:30 Really touched on a topic that I've realized and think about a lot. My question is, however, how can boys/men get that message forwarded to them if they don't have a community of men at the moment and then aren't listening to the women in their life.
The discussion does lead into the limitations of our influence, how some people might not be ready to listen, and will opt for saying no thank you. This is something I will sit with and consider more, but do you have any recommendations on instigating their desire/interest to be better as a human and a man?
Thought I would suggest the brilliant Ogenagan Chief Oren Lyons. The Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) people's powerful understanding of the balance of women and men could shed a powerful light on this subject. (Man Enough)
Beautiful episode!
Thank you!
Awesome podcast! But I wonder if using language around exertion works in this case (reaching potential, stepping up, accountability). Isn't this about being ok with being vulnerable? Great conversation though, I wish more people listened to this, I will do my part and share:)
I loved this episode!❤
Thank you. We love you!
Hellow form Italy, big fan of yours here. I love all the latest episodes, I'm wondering if you'll ever get a polyamorous person on the podcast, I think it would give a very specific and concrete prospective on love, trust and vulnerability. Thanks for all the amazing work 🌈
Great suggestion. Thanks for the kind words.
I like what I heard. Great work, thank you all.
Thank you!
I have a question. The therapists might understand, from an attachmennt theory viewpoint, would it help take some of the scrutiny and criticism off men to reframe the emotional literacy as an avoidant issue. Like I know I have dismissive avoidant tendencies, irrespective of gender, and I know anxiously attached people don't get it at first, their issues cause them to assign malicious motives to our maladaptive coping strategies. So we all gotta put down our weapons.
The poem was so cringy. Did not believe it for a second. If he had shared it privately, not referenced sex repeatedly. He even went out of his way to say that he wouldn't be getting on his knee. She needs to give that dude a deadline, stop letting him waste her time with BS.
oh sis 45:00 you said it all. I actually do like him in many respects, have read his work, so am not bagging on him. But girl, you just called him out. He should NOT be repeatedly hurting you, knowing where your wounds are. Smh, all due respect for Kim, but girl dtmfa.
I do agree about putting down the weapons. I always feel a little like I wan to defend the men I know when I feel they are under attack. I didn't see the poem that way. I did believe that he was being authentic and real and just trying to be one of the 'good guys' and showing up for his woman. It must be so hard for men. They are told to 'show up' more and when they do they really put themselves out there for critcism to come in. I'm sorry if you have been hurt by men w.r.t. sex and commitment. :(
I hope John Kim sees my comment: I used to follow him and was in his Facebook group. This was before cancel culture was even a thing. I was disturbed that John felt it was okay as a male and Therapist to use the word ‘bitch,’ especially when so many of the people who followed him were women. So I was not surprised when John was “blown away” by the comment about honoring women. I’m Ojibwe. I come from a matriarchal culture. We traditionally view women as sacred because they are lifegivers. We honor women. I called John out in a post when I left the group for using that dehumanizing word. I hope John does better now. Red flags go up for me when people decry cancel culture. It makes me feel they have something to hide. What is truly manly enough is to own past and current mistakes (that we all obviously make) and do better!
Thank you for your perspective. So glad you're here and part of our community.
There's something extremely irritating about bringing up a correlational study to imply that somehow men CAUSE a lower life expectancy in their partners (30:50). Perhaps a more nuanced discussion rather than agreeing with each other would be good next time. Not hating, just pointing out something to improve the quality of discourse and lead the viewers/listeners by example.
Considering homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women, is it that much of a stretch to correlate that outcome?
@@caitlinburke8326 That's really sloppy thinking. You should consider taking a statistics course.
@aeneas I see your frustration and it’s probably the same reaction that John had when Vanessa brought it up. Problem with certain humans, and just tends to me more women, is that we try to control too many things out of our control. & I think this is perpetuated by society setting such high standards on the expectations of both men and women. Men can let go of a lot of shit easier than women can. Maybe it’s compartmentalism. Maybe it’s just less hormonal influence. But even the discussion of beige underwear. I disagree with Liz. We don’t wear it for men. We wear it not to be judged by other women. By society. You can’t wear a sexy bra under a shirt than can be seen…what does that say about you? So that mentality drives women to compete with women and men to compete with men. So dropping the competition, letting go of expectations, and just accepting and giving love in relationships releases both parties from the self created stressors and ultimately…shortened life.
Thanks for the perspectives.
I really enjoyed the show but this was an unfortunate undercurrent throughout. A fairly tenuous connection to the science, which is fine, as long as you provide qualifiers. But a lot of just blanket statements and personal opinions sans caveats. Generalizations and personal viewpoints are necessary but they hand waved away so much, instead of interacting with the data in a more granular and nuanced way. Looking forward to more shows though, their hearts are truly in it.
married people are unhappy!why ask them for advice. OMG. The divorce rate is 50%.
Because there's another 50% that could help the rest.
Annoying rom coms..