these videos are my daily therapy. especially when i’m dysregulated i force myself to listen to these because they regulate my emotions. im moving out of new england and going to live in montreal with my new wife. i’m so used to self sabotage and my awful childhood still lingers within. it’s so hard to accept that everything is happy and fine! i’m newly married. i’m trying so hard to stop my toxic patters and be the best person i can be for myself, and especially for my wife. she grew up in a happy home & can’t remember a time where she ever got yelled at. it’s neat how such opposite people can attract and how much there is to learn & teach. anyways, thank you for your everyday videos. you’re so knowledgeable. ❤
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
@@janicenakonechny3674 i love this. thank you! i think the trickiest part for me is that im beyond self aware but yet im still so selfish and i let myself get away with a lot. i ditch my friends and call out of work if i had one thing that does it for me. my days are so up and down, i really don’t wanna be on meds forever but i can’t imagine myself without em lol
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
I had to stop at 6 mins in, because I could relate to everything and it's getting overwhelming. I didn't realize how badly I've been suppressing myself.
Same here! Omg this is totally me! Good to understand but hard to hear. Will have to take all this in little by little. Too bad these aren’t in the shorts. She could present a few at a time in shorts. Glad you’re on your healing journey. Me too😊
Right on time - coming into the realization that I am my own block by operating from fear and worthlessness- I was actually reading an article regarding bullying and excessive criticism as a root of these feelings when this video popped up - I live “poor “ because i feel poor is the lesson for this leg of my journey. Time to transition and change that frequency. Thanks Anna! 🙂✌🏻
I relate with so much. I'm 64 with CPTSD and live in Australia. I have a psychologist who specialises in Trauma whom I've been seeing via video call, because I have anxiety with leaving home. My psychologist has been a life saver. Recently I accomplished going to the optometrist AND dentist, yes....I'm pretty proud of myself for that. Unfortunately, due to not getting my teeth checked prior, I have had to have MAJOR dental work done which is expensive and has been traumatic. So my experience and wisdom in Hindsight is look after yourself and your health, prevention is better than cure. Thanks Anna, love your videos.
Thanks for explaining about abandonment emotions. I was adopted, at 4 years of age. I was with birth mom until 18 months, 2 foster homes, then adopted at 4. The adopted family moved 3 times in the first couple of years after I was adopted. By age 10 they(adopted parents) I was sent to another foster home. By then the relationship with my adopted parents was beyond being healed. I started running away at 14, keep running away until I was able to get to CA. I have a lot of issues trusting people, and expect others to reject me so I preempt the rejection by rejecting them. This whole video described me to a T.
I was adopted, too, and have similar issues (I was in and out of foster care/birth mum’s care until 2 years old, then fostered and adopted by parents who I don’t think I ever really meaningfully connected with). I’m sorry you had such a rough time, especially being sent back into being fostered at 10. Totally understandable that you’d have trust issues and do preemptive rejection.
Thank you for watching and sharing your experience with us. It sounds hard but there are trustworthy people out there! You might like Anna’s course Connection Bootcamp. It can help improve relationships with acquaintances and the people close to you. bit.ly/CCF_Connection Nika@TeamFairy
I was beaten into submission then i realized what was what. So even now some things will still trigger me. Which i wish was gone. That i can move forward to a healthier happier life. Tyvm hugs ❤ 🤗
I just recently stumbled onto your channel and after watching this video I am just in tears. I finally feel like someone gets me after a lifetime of struggling. I can't wait to dive in and learn. Thanks so much❣❣
I’m there. I’ve had it. Highly discouraged. Criticism avoiding. Interested in nothing. I have a full time job that I am good at. I’ll clean up my car, work desk, and living spaces tomorrow. My wardrobe is Ok and actually have decent clothes. New underwear. My ex girlfriend of 3 and a half years and we broke up. She wasn’t honest and was playing games and her family was man hating. I don’t hang out with her anymore. She couldn’t commit. She backed out. I’m exhausted from relationships. I want to talk with her and repair our friendship but she is cold. I’m taking a break. Alone time can be healing at this point. I am avoiding drama and hate gossip aka social triangulation and reputation smearing. I sent my ex a birthday present, it is Tuesday. She broke it off. She ruined it.
Anna - get the dog and bring it with you on the speaking tours! I used to travel to speak so I didn't think I could have a dog either. But God practically forced the best puppy in the world on me even though I wasn't looking for one. I didn't know what else to do because she is a velcro breed, so I brought her with me. I would dope her up with Benadryl (very safe for dogs) and she would snooze in her little travel crate under the speaker's table all morning, I would walk her at lunch, and she would snooze again for the afternoon session. She loved it and it gave her a joyful, friendly personality who LOVES to meet new people. I won't even start to describe the ways she changed me and changed my experiences, both on those trips and in life in general!
I still can't get over how spot on you always are! I spent so many years in counseling that never went anywhere and I always felt I wasn't understood. Thank you Anna!
You hit my nail on the head! "You'd like to have a partner, but you don't meet people." Yep...just the thought of rejection sends shivers down my spine. Yep, abandonment melange - I am a poster child for that! Thanks for this (and all of your )video.
I can relate to many things talked about however, one thing that was not revealed is when you attempt to look good or spent time cleaning, etc and no one notices - no compliments - no noting. Any attempt to 'look' pretty doesn't matter. And in my experience no clutter on your desk is a clear sign you don't do anything.
I’m so grateful, Anna, that you find it in your heart to share all this knowledge with us. As someone with cptsd who tried dating apps and it blew up in my face, I was wondering if you might consider doing a video on that subject. The contracts that are supposed to be inherently understood on dating apps- not to mention the commodification of people thanks to capitalism- are a landmine full of bombs waiting to blow up vulnerable people.
something that worked for me: i thought very carefully and deeply about WHAT I really wanted. Just that exercise helped get to working toward taking action toward it. thank you for this channel CCF
I thought I'd grown out of my childhood self suppression, its come back with a vengeance after several years of relentless trauma inducing events ! Been stuck in terrified hermit mode watching my life fall apart - lost everything I'd spent decades working for. I tell myself iim to old, to tired, to damaged to rebuild myself & my life. I've become my own self fulfilling prophecy of failure & all my prior accomplishments seem redundant now ; as if they belong to someone else ... Has anyone else experienced this ? Decades of thinking you'd overcome all those issues only to find yourself right back where you started ...?
Been in full-blown hermit mode for several months now. Life is on the brink of falling apart after series of events that were hard but wouldn't be sooo devastating to fairly balanced people - like loss, mourning, some disappointments and basically , well... life ! I thank God I'm in a country where we do have social security or I'd be on the streets and/or probably have insulted a co-worker, or my boss (! ) by now, and I'd be in a whole lot of additional trouble - and probably back living with ... haha... elderly parent 😱 (and guess why I'm here...) I know how much this sucks. But we know what to do, right? We've already done this once. We don't have to invent or improvise solutions anymore. And in no way was it "beginners' luck", that took so much effort and ingenuity over the years : we did learn something and it has to be easier the second time around ! I've got this. We just needed a bit of a breather but we've got this. Your achievements are yours. You've got this.
To all who read this, you are amazing and full of so much potential! I hope you reach your goals and spread love and positivity in this world. Look at the person you are and realize that you will never be perfect but that's okay, life isn't about being perfect, fix what you can, work towards positive goals and spread love and positivity everyday, obtain an attitude of gratitude and realize your blessings that you do have. Take positive action daily and enjoy the process and journey of life. I love this video so much and all the helpful information within it, Godbless good people like this helping us to become better versions of our selves. Don't forget, you are enough, you are amazing ! Go realize it today 💯💪🏽 ❤️
That's me 100%. I'm going to come back and make a list of these for myself later, print and laminate it, and work on it. I've worked on this kind of stuff, and improved at times, then someone does something, really treats me like crap, and I'm back to the old ways the next day. I don't know how to keep myself from those relapses.
I hear you. Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD. Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD Nika@TeamFairy
i love people and love to tell others how wonderful they are. i think there are different types of love. im 64, a woman. my friendships are more important than a love affair. i love my friends and all of you. live for the NOW. enjoy today. we don't NEED a man. besides, life is easier if we do self care and just take it easy. others like us will flow to you when you keep your vibs up. it makes you interesting. tell them No. it lasts longer. often. follow your hearts. happy persons are attractive.
Love your comment. Such a positive message. Just a couple years your junior here, parted ways with an emotionally selfish/immature guy a few months back. Never NEEDED a man, but sure would LIKE (a more suitable) one. Be well..
I asked for a raise and it was rejected. I quit then re-hired to the wage I asked for. There was no one else that could do payroll lol. Fortunately I was in a position to quit, I would have never done this 20 years ago Thank you Anna for giving me the tools to speak up❤🎉
🐶You made a comment about wanting a dog, but could not do it at this time because you were traveling and have variable schedule. I just wanted to make a suggestion that might help solve your situation. Have you ever thought about “time sharing”, such as time sharing a condo, OR sharing custody of a pet dog with someone else who may be is in a similar situation cannot fully commit to a full time care of the animals solely on their own. For example, when parents sharing custody of a child.❤🐾 🤗Also wanted to take the time to say thank you for your “wise words of wisdom” after experiencing many difficult experiences yourself. Your insight has made a change in my life in the way that I am not waiting for medicine to take away my depression and anxiety. I am learning skills which help me to learn about my disabilities and positive coping techniques that I can try to /cope with difficulties dealing with my high sensitivity trait. You have restored unconditional loving myself and loving others and to give me hope, despite the “trauma” I am experiencing. You have made a difference in my life. Thank you for your gift.💐
Or maybe volunteer at an animal shelter. I did this because my apartment building would not allow dogs. Even though I got attached to some, it felt good to see them adopted to good homes. The rescue org I volunteered at were very picky about who their animals went home with. Also it was a no kill shelter. I also learned how to train dogs with simple commands. I highly recommend this to those who can’t have pets at the moment.
I always pet the dogs and cats 💕 Was at a swap meet yesterday, and when I turned a corner, this cute little white dog saw me and acted like she knew me. Was wagging her tail, coming up to me, and rolled over to get a belly rub ... 🥰
Yes…total avoidance…with the emotions you describe. At 60…I have no idea how to start to change it…people see those our age as nuts or odd because we’re alone…Covid didn’t help with losing what I had built. Although I’m quite clean and organized I live out of duffle bags like mobile drawers even though I’ve lived here in this caretaking situation I have…I’ve never been able to ground or root anywhere. I’m waiting for an opportunity that keeps or maintains what little stability and security I have…and relationships are out..
i still cant believe this is real..free help..❤many folks with the same deal as me..i dont feel alone or like I'm crazy anymore im feeling so much better with life and myself.🙏🙌my wife sure does thank you 🙏
i have a freind who had a stressful childhood and instead of clutter she is cleaning 12 hours a day of in her garden for 12 hours ....shes social but always says i dont need a man at this point but then goes on dates. There are many successful people who are in long term relationships but i know how unhappy they are--have the money the kids the pet a nice spouse but no affection with the spouse and drink wine all the time and shop shop shop. cant CPTSD be hidden in these types of situations? the shopping of junk is unreal. In addition to the CPTSD that withdraw I think it has to be a balance because so many people need to always be social and hate being alone even one night. Isnt that avoidance too?
This video just encouraged me to text my first love to wish him a happy birthday! I haven’t been in contact with him in a few years so I hope he doesn’t think I’m a crazy stalker 😵💫
hi!! I'm 51 year old and I just find out that I have CPTSD. It’s been very hard for me to see what it was going on in my brain, it's a relief now I’m beginning to understand my emotions my behavior why I cannot control my anger my feelings inside. It all begins when I was six years old , I’ve been sexually abuse for almost 2 years and that it doesn’t stop there sexually abuse again when I was 16 years old, manipulated and controlled she was married and we live in the same house and she was a family as well so the most horrible four years of my life that I didn’t think about that and I recently the whole thing open after the break up with my ex we were together for 3 year but I change when we move together, I'm a very clean person, I like too have the thing my way and I get so stressed when it's not, I'm black or white nothing in between, she give me so much love I didn’t know how to react so much pressure so much stress and I didn’t understand why that I'm be like that. I feel so horrible for that. It's very hard to lose such a beautiful person I didn’t mean to hurt her. it’s horrible. It’s a horrible feeling, I don’t know she will forget me one day, I don’t know if she will understand that I didn’t mean to do or say the things that I have done she blocked me from everything. She wants nothing to do with me and it’s a horrible feeling I feel alone, I feel my kids are growing father apart with me as well I don’t know what to do??? 🤷♂️🤦♂️😢😞 I will really would like to have some tips and what can I do thank you.
If you'd like to share your story and ask Anna a question, feel free to write an "Ask the Fairy" letter. You can do it from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
Anna What Is Getting Saved Mean? I fell into the hands of three random individuals whom attack me for my truck. Sadly I ended up being shot with recovery from this wound now slowly regaining feeling within my left hand. While in the hospital a strange person started visiting talking about Salvation? I fear that something is indeed wrong with being divorce being a single parent even though my daughter and granddaughter are Well Off. I don't understand? After giving to the poor and needed I ended suffering for people I have no contact with or investment. I give and give but thank goodness I face this alone. Anna my your Life Keep Shining an lighting the way for those. Good Bye Anna
Anna's courses are all designed so that one can complete them at their own pace. It's up to you how quickly you want to move through the material. The bootcamp courses are designed to be completed in 30 days, with new lessons being released each day, but you are welcome to complete them at a slower pace if that's what's best for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Usually no relationship works out anyways most people leave and I got trust issues. People say love yourself but when you went through complex ptsd and health issues its just really noot that simple. I wish it was. I don't know why im attracted to guys that are either not avalible or they didn't like me back. I don't know where to even meet a good guuy. It seems like they all just want me at one moment then they forget about me. Whats the point of tryiing?
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
Listening to you...oh my God.I need u ad my therapist..I dont have one..no one good enough around hete and Im in a torturously abusive situation...zip code near me is 02149..do u practice in MA or online??
I think it’s awful and pathetic. These people are married to their 80 years old then their partner dies off and they go off with some other 80-year-old what the Frick that just taints and beyond the whole marriage vows its disgusting and Here you’re laughing and saying how beautiful it is smh
What’s wrong with finding happiness after a long term marriage comes to an end because one of the couple died? Finding love again under those circumstances IS beautiful!
No Facebook since Covid on so happy I study soft white under belly by Mark Laita and stoicism has keeping me to change and your videos amazing thank you @lorraineamicothemakeupartist ❤
Your right with this medical has gotten me crazy. But spring is coming I’ll drag myself to the beach haven’t been their in two years because of two major surgery but love my house car nature animals and my freedom as a great woman very independent haven’t worked a year and eight months but doing ok most of the time I lost my identity because being a great makeupartist yes lost my identity but got myself back got my identity back worked on utube I’m good now suffered awhile ❤@lorraineamicothemakeupartist
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
these videos are my daily therapy. especially when i’m dysregulated i force myself to listen to these because they regulate my emotions. im moving out of new england and going to live in montreal with my new wife. i’m so used to self sabotage and my awful childhood still lingers within. it’s so hard to accept that everything is happy and fine! i’m newly married. i’m trying so hard to stop my toxic patters and be the best person i can be for myself, and especially for my wife. she grew up in a happy home & can’t remember a time where she ever got yelled at. it’s neat how such opposite people can attract and how much there is to learn & teach. anyways, thank you for your everyday videos. you’re so knowledgeable. ❤
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
@@janicenakonechny3674 i love this. thank you! i think the trickiest part for me is that im beyond self aware but yet im still so selfish and i let myself get away with a lot. i ditch my friends and call out of work if i had one thing that does it for me. my days are so up and down, i really don’t wanna be on meds forever but i can’t imagine myself without em lol
@@janicenakonechny3674 thank you ❣️ I’ll work on that too!
Yes I definitely suppressed myself most of my life and it turned into avoiding any real connections. Life feels empty
Hugs❤ 🤗
Now you're on a healing journey...it can change 😊
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
I was told that I "expect too much out of life".....
i don't agree with that person that said that to you.@@janec1489
I’ve spent my life like this but it’s changing. I have a few friends now and I am changing.
That's wonderful! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I had to stop at 6 mins in, because I could relate to everything and it's getting overwhelming. I didn't realize how badly I've been suppressing myself.
Same here! Omg this is totally me! Good to understand but hard to hear. Will have to take all this in little by little. Too bad these aren’t in the shorts. She could present a few at a time in shorts. Glad you’re on your healing journey. Me too😊
It can be so overwhelming, good you noticed it ! It took me time to understand this and taking baby steps. Slowly Slowly ❤😊
@@jfdc8432 I wish you good luck on your healing journey. I have to take it in little by little as well.
@@tafu120 Hope you are on a healing journey as well. I wish you luck.
@@Thegirlwithapinkbag yes dear I am thank you so much ❤️ I wish you well and all the love in the world 💐
Right on time - coming into the realization that I am my own block by operating from fear and worthlessness- I was actually reading an article regarding bullying and excessive criticism as a root of these feelings when this video popped up - I live “poor “ because i feel poor is the lesson for this leg of my journey. Time to transition and change that frequency. Thanks Anna! 🙂✌🏻
I'm sobbing throughout this entire video
It's freeing to be validated ❤I'm sending good vibes to you😊
I relate with so much. I'm 64 with CPTSD and live in Australia. I have a psychologist who specialises in Trauma whom I've been seeing via video call, because I have anxiety with leaving home. My psychologist has been a life saver. Recently I accomplished going to the optometrist AND dentist, yes....I'm pretty proud of myself for that. Unfortunately, due to not getting my teeth checked prior, I have had to have MAJOR dental work done which is expensive and has been traumatic. So my experience and wisdom in Hindsight is look after yourself and your health, prevention is better than cure. Thanks Anna, love your videos.
I'm 64 Aussie with C-PTSD
I need to go to a dentist but I've no money
I don't work because falsely accused child-bashers are not required.
Be proud of yourself and keep up the great work!
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ???
Thanks for explaining about abandonment emotions. I was adopted, at 4 years of age. I was with birth mom until 18 months, 2 foster homes, then adopted at 4. The adopted family moved 3 times in the first couple of years after I was adopted. By age 10 they(adopted parents) I was sent to another foster home. By then the relationship with my adopted parents was beyond being healed. I started running away at 14, keep running away until I was able to get to CA. I have a lot of issues trusting people, and expect others to reject me so I preempt the rejection by rejecting them. This whole video described me to a T.
That sounds terrible and sad 😞
I understand how you feel about trusting people.
I am sending you lots of love and healing energy 🤍
I was adopted, too, and have similar issues (I was in and out of foster care/birth mum’s care until 2 years old, then fostered and adopted by parents who I don’t think I ever really meaningfully connected with). I’m sorry you had such a rough time, especially being sent back into being fostered at 10. Totally understandable that you’d have trust issues and do preemptive rejection.
Thank you for watching and sharing your experience with us. It sounds hard but there are trustworthy people out there! You might like Anna’s course Connection Bootcamp. It can help improve relationships with acquaintances and the people close to you. bit.ly/CCF_Connection
Nika@TeamFairy
Oh boy, this was a harsh reality to hear.
We're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I was beaten into submission then i realized what was what. So even now some things will still trigger me. Which i wish was gone. That i can move forward to a healthier happier life. Tyvm hugs ❤ 🤗
That must have been incredibly hard. You're in the right place and we're all here to support you :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna❤….love your friends’ joy in her 80’s🎉…..my uncle got married for first time at 80….he was so happy for several yrs
Thank you fairy 🧚🏻♀️ for reminding us we need to keep an eye on our trauma behaviors.
It's exactly what I do. Married for 30 yrs. No other options.
I call it stay boring. It’s tough coming out of my shell sometimes.
I am only now coming to terms with this.
Thank you.
We're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I just recently stumbled onto your channel and after watching this video I am just in tears. I finally feel like someone gets me after a lifetime of struggling. I can't wait to dive in and learn. Thanks so much❣❣
Thank you for being a part of our community here!
Nika@TeamFairy
I’m there. I’ve had it. Highly discouraged. Criticism avoiding. Interested in nothing. I have a full time job that I am good at. I’ll clean up my car, work desk, and living spaces tomorrow. My wardrobe is Ok and actually have decent clothes. New underwear. My ex girlfriend of 3 and a half years and we broke up. She wasn’t honest and was playing games and her family was man hating. I don’t hang out with her anymore. She couldn’t commit. She backed out. I’m exhausted from relationships. I want to talk with her and repair our friendship but she is cold. I’m taking a break. Alone time can be healing at this point. I am avoiding drama and hate gossip aka social triangulation and reputation smearing. I sent my ex a birthday present, it is Tuesday. She broke it off. She ruined it.
Good grief. It's as if you have a telescope into my life. I feel so called out.
Such great practical advice. This makes me realise how much I have closed myself off to experiences and to connection with others
Anna - get the dog and bring it with you on the speaking tours! I used to travel to speak so I didn't think I could have a dog either. But God practically forced the best puppy in the world on me even though I wasn't looking for one. I didn't know what else to do because she is a velcro breed, so I brought her with me. I would dope her up with Benadryl (very safe for dogs) and she would snooze in her little travel crate under the speaker's table all morning, I would walk her at lunch, and she would snooze again for the afternoon session. She loved it and it gave her a joyful, friendly personality who LOVES to meet new people. I won't even start to describe the ways she changed me and changed my experiences, both on those trips and in life in general!
I’ll look at the phone in horror or if anyone dare knock on my door I actually run in panic…..
Thank you. This video came at the right time, for me.
We're all sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
I still can't get over how spot on you always are! I spent so many years in counseling that never went anywhere and I always felt I wasn't understood. Thank you Anna!
I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You hit my nail on the head! "You'd like to have a partner, but you don't meet people." Yep...just the thought of rejection sends shivers down my spine. Yep, abandonment melange - I am a poster child for that!
Thanks for this (and all of your )video.
We understand as few others can. You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This is a great video, Anna. I have already thought about most of what you said here, but it's so good to be reminded.
Really love this video about learning the social graces you did. Anne, you are a diamond.
Anna, not Anne. Apologize.
Wow perfectly described me in the first few sentences…wish I had this channel decades ago
I'm so glad you're here now! -Calista@TeamFairy
I can relate to many things talked about however, one thing that was not revealed is when you attempt to look good or spent time cleaning, etc and no one notices - no compliments - no noting. Any attempt to 'look' pretty doesn't matter. And in my experience no clutter on your desk is a clear sign you don't do anything.
Thankyou. I relate a lot to this❤
I’m so grateful, Anna, that you find it in your heart to share all this knowledge with us. As someone with cptsd who tried dating apps and it blew up in my face, I was wondering if you might consider doing a video on that subject. The contracts that are supposed to be inherently understood on dating apps- not to mention the commodification of people thanks to capitalism- are a landmine full of bombs waiting to blow up vulnerable people.
something that worked for me: i thought very carefully and deeply about WHAT I really wanted. Just that exercise helped get to working toward taking action toward it. thank you for this channel CCF
Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I thought I'd grown out of my childhood self suppression, its come back with a vengeance after several years of relentless trauma inducing events ! Been stuck in terrified hermit mode watching my life fall apart - lost everything I'd spent decades working for. I tell myself iim to old, to tired, to damaged to rebuild myself & my life. I've become my own self fulfilling prophecy of failure & all my prior accomplishments seem redundant now ; as if they belong to someone else ... Has anyone else experienced this ? Decades of thinking you'd overcome all those issues only to find yourself right back where you started ...?
Been in full-blown hermit mode for several months now. Life is on the brink of falling apart after series of events that were hard but wouldn't be sooo devastating to fairly balanced people - like loss, mourning, some disappointments and basically , well... life ! I thank God I'm in a country where we do have social security or I'd be on the streets and/or probably have insulted a co-worker, or my boss (! ) by now, and I'd be in a whole lot of additional trouble - and probably back living with ... haha... elderly parent 😱 (and guess why I'm here...)
I know how much this sucks. But we know what to do, right? We've already done this once. We don't have to invent or improvise solutions anymore. And in no way was it "beginners' luck", that took so much effort and ingenuity over the years : we did learn something and it has to be easier the second time around !
I've got this. We just needed a bit of a breather but we've got this. Your achievements are yours. You've got this.
Thank you so much! Your videos have answered so many questions about why Im the way i am. ❤
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful, thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy
In the first minute you’ve described me almost perfectly. Now I know I’ve always had a choice I’m working on doing just that: choosing to heal 💜
Best choice! Good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
To all who read this, you are amazing and full of so much potential! I hope you reach your goals and spread love and positivity in this world. Look at the person you are and realize that you will never be perfect but that's okay, life isn't about being perfect, fix what you can, work towards positive goals and spread love and positivity everyday, obtain an attitude of gratitude and realize your blessings that you do have. Take positive action daily and enjoy the process and journey of life. I love this video so much and all the helpful information within it, Godbless good people like this helping us to become better versions of our selves. Don't forget, you are enough, you are amazing ! Go realize it today 💯💪🏽 ❤️
Thank you for sharing your kindness with our community here! All the best for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you so much Anna
Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy
That's me 100%. I'm going to come back and make a list of these for myself later, print and laminate it, and work on it. I've worked on this kind of stuff, and improved at times, then someone does something, really treats me like crap, and I'm back to the old ways the next day. I don't know how to keep myself from those relapses.
I hear you. Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD.
Free Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Healing CPTSD course: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD
Nika@TeamFairy
i love people and love to tell others how wonderful they are. i think there are different types of love. im 64, a woman. my friendships are more important than a love affair. i love my friends and all of you. live for the NOW. enjoy today. we don't NEED a man. besides, life is easier if we do self care and just take it easy. others like us will flow to you when you keep your vibs up. it makes you interesting. tell them No. it lasts longer. often. follow your hearts. happy persons are attractive.
Love your comment. Such a positive message. Just a couple years your junior here, parted ways with an emotionally selfish/immature guy a few months back. Never NEEDED a man, but sure would LIKE (a more suitable) one. Be well..
I asked for a raise and it was rejected. I quit then re-hired to the wage I asked for. There was no one else that could do payroll lol. Fortunately I was in a position to quit, I would have never done this 20 years ago Thank you Anna for giving me the tools to speak up❤🎉
This was very helpful and motivating! Sending love to you and the team❤
Thank you for being a part of our community here. Glad to hear the video was helpful!
Nika@TeamFairy
🐶You made a comment about wanting a dog, but could not do it at this time because you were traveling and have variable schedule. I just wanted to make a suggestion that might help solve your situation. Have you ever thought about “time sharing”, such as time sharing a condo, OR sharing custody of a pet dog with someone else who may be is in a similar situation cannot fully commit to a full time care of the animals solely on their own. For example, when parents sharing custody of a child.❤🐾
🤗Also wanted to take the time to say thank you for your “wise words of wisdom” after experiencing many difficult experiences yourself. Your insight has made a change in my life in the way that I am not waiting for medicine to take away my depression and anxiety. I am learning skills which help me to learn about my disabilities and positive coping techniques that I can try to /cope with difficulties dealing with my high sensitivity trait. You have restored unconditional loving myself and loving others and to give me hope, despite the “trauma” I am experiencing. You have made a difference in my life. Thank you for your gift.💐
Or maybe volunteer at an animal shelter. I did this because my apartment building would not allow dogs. Even though I got attached to some, it felt good to see them adopted to good homes. The rescue org I volunteered at were very picky about who their animals went home with. Also it was a no kill shelter. I also learned how to train dogs with simple commands. I highly recommend this to those who can’t have pets at the moment.
Amazing video 💜
I always pet the dogs and cats 💕 Was at a swap meet yesterday, and when I turned a corner, this cute little white dog saw me and acted like she knew me. Was wagging her tail, coming up to me, and rolled over to get a belly rub ... 🥰
Yes…total avoidance…with the emotions you describe.
At 60…I have no idea how to start to change it…people see those our age as nuts or odd because we’re alone…Covid didn’t help with losing what I had built.
Although I’m quite clean and organized I live out of duffle bags like mobile drawers even though I’ve lived here in this caretaking situation I have…I’ve never been able to ground or root anywhere. I’m waiting for an opportunity that keeps or maintains what little stability and security I have…and relationships are out..
i still cant believe this is real..free help..❤many folks with the same deal as me..i dont feel alone or like I'm crazy anymore im feeling so much better with life and myself.🙏🙌my wife sure does thank you 🙏
i have a freind who had a stressful childhood and instead of clutter she is cleaning 12 hours a day of in her garden for 12 hours ....shes social but always says i dont need a man at this point but then goes on dates. There are many successful people who are in long term relationships but i know how unhappy they are--have the money the kids the pet a nice spouse but no affection with the spouse and drink wine all the time and shop shop shop. cant CPTSD be hidden in these types of situations? the shopping of junk is unreal. In addition to the CPTSD that withdraw I think it has to be a balance because so many people need to always be social and hate being alone even one night. Isnt that avoidance too?
I agree with your assessments - I think trauma and (C) PTSD can manifest in many different ways, and, importantly, is easy to hide in plain sight.
This video just encouraged me to text my first love to wish him a happy birthday! I haven’t been in contact with him in a few years so I hope he doesn’t think I’m a crazy stalker 😵💫
I always get medical checkups all my life but at 69 I fell apart from that major surgery crazy
Never blame people use to blame myself no more done ❤
hi!! I'm 51 year old and I just find out that I have CPTSD. It’s been very hard for me to see what it was going on in my brain, it's a relief now I’m beginning to understand my emotions my behavior why I cannot control my anger my feelings inside. It all begins when I was six years old , I’ve been sexually abuse for almost 2 years and that it doesn’t stop there sexually abuse again when I was 16 years old, manipulated and controlled she was married and we live in the same house and she was a family as well so the most horrible four years of my life that I didn’t think about that and I recently the whole thing open after the break up with my ex we were together for 3 year but I change when we move together, I'm a very clean person, I like too have the thing my way and I get so stressed when it's not, I'm black or white nothing in between, she give me so much love I didn’t know how to react so much pressure so much stress and I didn’t understand why that I'm be like that. I feel so horrible for that. It's very hard to lose such a beautiful person I didn’t mean to hurt her. it’s horrible. It’s a horrible feeling, I don’t know she will forget me one day, I don’t know if she will understand that I didn’t mean to do or say the things that I have done she blocked me from everything. She wants nothing to do with me and it’s a horrible feeling I feel alone, I feel my kids are growing father apart with me as well I don’t know what to do??? 🤷♂️🤦♂️😢😞 I will really would like to have some tips and what can I do thank you.
If you'd like to share your story and ask Anna a question, feel free to write an "Ask the Fairy" letter. You can do it from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
Nika@TeamFairy
😮 recovery has many forms and steps have different forms- you DO NOT have to do it the traditional AA way.
This is such valuable information! *takes notes on how to do life*😂
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
suppressed myself till i was out of the house then told them to take a walk and all thanks to my husband....
and thanks from me too husband of Maria. Ive done the same.
Is introversion a trauma response? Lots of the things you mention sound like introversion (not answering phone, avoiding chats with people…)
I feel damaged and haphazard. Inept, and of low caste. Litter EVERYWHERE
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
@@janicenakonechny3674 thank you so much. I completely relate. I’ll treasure your council 💐💐💐💐❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad! Its the best when someone is helped by your words that you have learned.@@SikrosSpencer
Oh my god. The first minute and 40 seconds of this video . . . Ouch.
Anna What Is Getting Saved Mean? I fell into the hands of three random individuals whom attack me for my truck. Sadly I ended up being shot with recovery from this wound now slowly regaining feeling within my left hand. While in the hospital a strange person started visiting talking about Salvation? I fear that something is indeed wrong with being divorce being a single parent even though my daughter and granddaughter are Well Off. I don't understand? After giving to the poor and needed I ended suffering for people I have no contact with or investment. I give and give but thank goodness I face this alone. Anna my your Life Keep Shining an lighting the way for those. Good Bye Anna
How long do you need each day to spend doing your courses? I read one email every day but how long do you need? 🙏
Anna's courses are all designed so that one can complete them at their own pace. It's up to you how quickly you want to move through the material. The bootcamp courses are designed to be completed in 30 days, with new lessons being released each day, but you are welcome to complete them at a slower pace if that's what's best for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You can get a small dog and carry it around with you as a emotional companion
Do you know me lol? 😉 More or less all apply.
It sounds like you're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I dont see the point having nice clothes. I have no partner or wish to have someone to get well dressed for.
Do it for yourself, makes you feel good. Dress says a lot about you. Gives you more confidence of who you are
Usually no relationship works out anyways most people leave and I got trust issues. People say love yourself but when you went through complex ptsd and health issues its just really noot that simple. I wish it was. I don't know why im attracted to guys that are either not avalible or they didn't like me back. I don't know where to even meet a good guuy. It seems like they all just want me at one moment then they forget about me. Whats the point of tryiing?
I've been there, I've felt that stuff too. But then I realized that the 'damage' that was inflicted upon me by my parent's abuse is what made me become haphazard, inept, and felt of low caste. Once I realized that the abuse damaged me deeply, I could begin to forgive myself for how it made me behave. I was also self absorbed, driven by my need for a parental type of love, angry, sad, lost, and bouncing off walls everywhere I went with anxiety and fear, and hurting those I loved along the way. But it wasn't my fault. And it's not your fault what your injury got you doing either. So lay off yourself, we're hurting our inner child when we rag on ourselves. Tell your inner child you will look after her/him so that safe feelings can take over. Make that perception shift in yourself because that's the only thing we have any control over - our brain. I used to let my brain think whatever it wanted until I stopped that and took over myself. We are not our thoughts that are in our brains. There is much much more to us than that head of cauliflower in our skulls. And this self love thing, I would be happy with self like, or self dig. I'm working on it.
@janicenakonechny3674 great comment ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Listening to you...oh my God.I need u ad my therapist..I dont have one..no one good enough around hete and Im in a torturously abusive situation...zip code near me is 02149..do u practice in MA or online??
Does anybody know if being incredibly delusional a sign of Cptsd??
CPTSD sounds a lot like ADHD and I think I have both how would you know if you have both or just one?
To much focus on problem instead on solution.❤
Temo is cheap
I think it’s awful and pathetic. These people are married to their 80 years old then their partner dies off and they go off with some other 80-year-old what the Frick that just taints and beyond the whole marriage vows its disgusting and Here you’re laughing and saying how beautiful it is smh
What’s wrong with finding happiness after a long term marriage comes to an end because one of the couple died? Finding love again under those circumstances IS beautiful!
I’m screaming internally about how called out I feel 🥲
No Facebook since Covid on so happy I study soft white under belly by Mark Laita and stoicism has keeping me to change and your videos amazing thank you @lorraineamicothemakeupartist ❤
Your right with this medical has gotten me crazy. But spring is coming I’ll drag myself to the beach haven’t been their in two years because of two major surgery but love my house car nature animals and my freedom as a great woman very independent haven’t worked a year and eight months but doing ok most of the time I lost my identity because being a great makeupartist yes lost my identity but got myself back got my identity back worked on utube I’m good now suffered awhile ❤@lorraineamicothemakeupartist