Catching Feelings For My Friend With Benefits?! (Sex Dilemmas): Viewer Submissions | ZULA Answers

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  • Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
  • In this episode of ZULA Answers, we are discussing relationship problems with regards to sex. From feeling conflicted to reconnect with her friend with benefits to finding a hooker to pop his cherry. Is sex a determining factor in relationships? Watch to find out more!
    Here are the timestamps of the topics covered during the episode:
    0:00 - Intro
    1:15 - Confession 1: Help! I Caught Feelings After A One Night Stand
    6:55 - Confession 2: Should I Just Hook Up With A Hooker?
    12:18 - Confession 3: I Miss My FWB
    17:00 - Bonus Confession: He Thought My ‘No’ Wasn't Serious
    21:31 - Final Wrap-Up
    Submit your confessions here:
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    Featuring:
    Brenda Tan- / brendatjy
    Bolin Chen - / doughnutcookies
    Filmed By:
    Ariel Ho - realsh1ny?...
    Nicole Choa - / _nic0leeeee_
    Edited By:
    Nicole Choa
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Комментарии • 49

  • @ZULAsg
    @ZULAsg  2 года назад +16

    Have you ever faced relationship problems with regards to sex? Feel free to share with us in the comments!

    • @yn-wl7is
      @yn-wl7is 2 года назад +1

      hey zula, please `do a getting over my ex’ edition!

    • @CalvinYio
      @CalvinYio 2 года назад

      We all do especially in today's society...

    • @HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS
      @HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS Год назад

      @@CalvinYio 😦

  • @stephaniemuse
    @stephaniemuse 2 года назад +59

    For the first story: I would tell the girl to be careful that she's not mistaking someone's kindness and decency for love. When you just come out of a bad relationship, another person treating you nicely might make you feel that "this is the one", when in fact, it's just that you are craving for love and external validation.
    For the bonus story: Molestation is a thing. Coercion is also a thing. Those are the words you are looking for, if you feel "rape" is too strong of a word. Someone who is nice will not force you to do anything you don't want. If it truly was a misunderstanding, then it wouldn't happen again. But would you be okay with putting yourself at risk with this guy? What if the next time he disregards your "no", he forces himself on you and rapes you? And to all guys: consent is sexy - if a woman says "no", it is perfectly fine to say, "do you really mean it, or are you just playing? Would you like me to stop?". If you don't want to ask questions to clarify consent for fear that she really might not want the sexual encounter, then I really question what sort of man you are.....

  • @sharviineskabali14
    @sharviineskabali14 2 года назад +23

    i love the way bolin talks,he's clear and straight to the point and brenda did a wonderful job as well

  • @JuzNicky
    @JuzNicky 2 года назад +31

    Somewhere in between Brenda and Bolin,
    As Michelle Jones Watson said,
    “If You Expect Disappointment, Then You Can Never Really Get Disappointed”
    And from Han
    "Life's simple, you make choices and you don't look back."
    Take what is offered, and Enjoy it at her comfort level.
    Anything else is a bonus.

  • @beyondee
    @beyondee 2 года назад +24

    i love how uncensored this show is, go bolin!

  • @sanjana6873
    @sanjana6873 Год назад +1

    I really love bolin, he never feel shy to talk about any topic. And his reaction is like normal person reaction would do in real life. Not too sugar coated and speak truth'🙌🙌 lots of love

  • @yeanyt
    @yeanyt 2 года назад +80

    Think about HIV/AIDS too. Don't regret when you got the disease, it will be too late. I have experienced taking care of my family member who has the disease, it has been a very tough 2 years and don't even know when the patient will recover. Imagine bedridden for years, taking a whole drawer of meds everyday. Think before you act.

    • @kentakicheeken4471
      @kentakicheeken4471 2 года назад +6

      @@John_Smith_86 Dude, they literally said they took care of someone with AIDS and bedridden.

    • @lidna82
      @lidna82 2 года назад

      @@John_Smith_86 It's important not to understate the impact of HIV/ AIDS as it wrecks the body as much as with the mental. That said, the probability of catching HIV/ AIDS isn't that high so long protection is used (but accidents CAN happen). In all probability, STDs would still be a guarantee (i.e. herpes) if one visits a hooker. And just like drugs, sex IS addictive. And addiction to sex (with a hooker or hookers) is one slippery slope to financial woes, STDs (maybe HIV/ AIDS) and might even prolong one's pursuit for a serious relationship.

  • @lisachua9291
    @lisachua9291 2 года назад +2

    always enjoyed watching this video keep it going ^_^

  • @doggosss5110
    @doggosss5110 2 года назад +45

    Tbh the meaning of no does vary among people. Maybe it will be more helpful to come up with a safe word instead, so when the safe word is uttered, he knows you mean no nonsense and if he still continues after that, then it's a red flag for sure.

  • @fullmetal1002
    @fullmetal1002 2 года назад +7

    For the third story, I agree with the two, you're emotionally cheating with your fwb. You feel safe and secure with your current boyfriend, but you're not happy when you have sex with him because you're constantly comparing his technique with your fwb.
    That fwb knows he will satisfy your urges which is why he's slowly egging you on to do it with him again. Instead of denying his advances, you're low-key want to accept because your boyfriend cannot satisfy you which also feeds his huge ego.
    You need to do the following.
    1) give your fwb a firm rejection for his advances and cut out all contact with him.
    2) Communicate with your boyfriend. Us guys are not wired like you women, so you need to sit down with him and lay out all the facts. Find something that the both of you can enjoy together. If he still cannot satisfy you after you communicate, go find someone else.

  • @valunaristic
    @valunaristic 2 года назад +21

    The real 3 fundamental needs is food, water and shelter. Next is emotional needs. So technically sex is 4th place

    • @Rider_412xd
      @Rider_412xd 2 года назад +1

      i mean u legit aint wrong XD. But without discipline in sex,it might stem to more serious issues la. Like basic respect and consent is v important

  • @itzSoonz
    @itzSoonz 2 года назад +8

    17:00 GOOD ADVICE!

  • @crazyandstupitme
    @crazyandstupitme 2 года назад +1

    gave in to the lAst HAHA 2:19

  • @CalvinYio
    @CalvinYio 2 года назад +1

    Most of my previous relationships started off from flings.... Which I think is quite common in today's world.
    Unless you clearly are in a polygamous relationship and have talked to your partner about their needs or desires, both side need to agree on a mature level.

  • @Ranger629
    @Ranger629 2 года назад +27

    18:25, literally what Brenda just said is what is causes so many guys to never take girls seriously. It's something that actually empower guys because they will always brush it off as "oh, I thought your no wasn't serious". Just tell the guy "yes or no", don't play the middle ground game. Otherwise situation like that will always arise.

  • @silverhenz
    @silverhenz 2 года назад +12

    First time with my FWB 🤣

  • @Wuyh99
    @Wuyh99 2 года назад +3

    feeling like a xiaodidi watching this XD

  • @pbwidia
    @pbwidia 2 года назад +1

    And here I am at 25yo not thinking about popping my cherry cause I know its impossible since I'm short af 😂😂😂

  • @1337hacks
    @1337hacks 2 года назад

    why is Bolin so wise

  • @snorlaxDjoker
    @snorlaxDjoker 2 года назад +1

    where's your air

  • @AdenPhua
    @AdenPhua 2 года назад +1

    LOL you don't need air ahaha.

  • @soggywoggy
    @soggywoggy 2 года назад +1

    brenda is bae..

  • @nameisezio1963
    @nameisezio1963 2 года назад +1

    how those youngster get FWB??? at work, school ???

  • @ello4869
    @ello4869 2 года назад +5

    lol the "fan" idea of a relationship is only his/her idea of what a relationship is suppose to be? so warped man.

  • @yagababa522
    @yagababa522 2 года назад +2

    bolin fav lol

  • @kazora1001
    @kazora1001 2 года назад

    LOL

  • @HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS
    @HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS Год назад

    😦😦

  • @kncnsm
    @kncnsm 2 года назад +14

    $ for sex is always a bad scenario since it will inevitably lead to objectification of sex and sex workers. We should never enable this to foster a healthier society where everyone treats each other and their own bodies with respect.

  • @boitshokorammuki5738
    @boitshokorammuki5738 2 года назад +2

    I normally like these episodes but I feel like you could have approached a couple of the questions a bit better.

  • @ordinaryobserver897
    @ordinaryobserver897 2 года назад +19

    The problem is having sex before marriage which led to multiple problems.

  • @melodychia5461
    @melodychia5461 2 года назад

    Block the FWB guy ahh ..