Story one: she. tried. dating. him. After, everything. Honey, GO TO THERAPY AND DO NOT DATE UNTIL YOU GET OVER YOUR EXTREME LACK OF CARE FOR YOUR WEL-BEING
@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 The single words and immediate punctuation afterward are deliberate. Have you never seen this way of communicating a point before? Are you ok?
You're never forgiven for being a cheater. You are not abused when you're kept on a shorter leash for making bad decisions. Just leave the relationship if you can't agree to the new terms.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Having new boundaries is one thing, humiliating and torturing her (and she didn't even cheat on him!!) is another thing completely. Like, just leave if you know you'll never forgive your spouse
@@12savage68then leave, it's that simple, don't turn into an abuser because of that. Plus if you LISTEN TO THE STORY you would see how this guy has a history of being an abuser without any "cheating" involved, stop making up excuses to abuse people and LEAVE
@shadowmuted-d4h I hope you never get into a relationship if you think everything he did was justified from a single text. He threw things at her, isolated her, insulted her, threatened her, and humiliated her for TWO YEARS over a TEXT to an ex who still had her things.
The reason why they might not realize how bad the whole “consequences” thing is might be due to a mixture of gaslighting and slowly desensitizing them to it
People like OP’s soon-to-be-ex-husband don’t care if their logic doesn’t make sense, they just want people they can put down and will keep changing the rules of the game to “win”.
S1: Talking to your ex while you're actively breaking up with them and sorting out moving/financial issues with them, is VERY normal and not a breach of trust. And tbh, even if she was flirting with an ex, I get it, because her current partner sounds terrible 🤣
Story 2: the ex-husband "paid the price"? He's the one who cheated, but still managed to make off like a bandit. He got alimony and child support....for cheating. That seems super unfair to me.If you cheat and blow up your marriage, you shouldn't get to benefit financially from it.
That's what happens in a "no fault" state. A state with "at fault" divorce take into account things like cheating and abuse and distribute assets accordingly. No fault states means even if you are a literal monster and the divorce was your fault that is not taken into account at all. Never get married in a no fault state
I get the feeling OP hops from one abusive relationship to another. It sounds like she wasn't even dating the current husband very long before jumping into marriage
I was honestly very confused by the timeline; she said she got caught texting the ex two months before the wedding, but then she said they were just texting about the logistics of the separation, which means they had just separated, that is way too soon to start a new relationship, let alone getting married. This is my own speculation, and I could be totally wrong, but I get the feeling that OP was cheating on her ex, with the current husband, which would also explain why he doesn’t trust her.
I'm glad OP left, but I can't imagine what a hellhole it must've been for the kids and dog, living with that guy. It's incredible how he thinks there *must* be another man, instead of her leaving him because he sucks.
They never should have gotten married. It sounds like Op wasn't even actually doing anything bad and just trying to sort out moving stuff (assuming Op is being truthful) but this guy is so unhinged about it, and there's no trust because _he actively won't allow for any to be built._ He just assumes the worst of Op to a point Op can't even see friends because he's out here winning gold in the Olympics for how far he's jumping to conclusions
As usual, missing the part where she had told him she wasn't in any contact with the ex, which was a straight up lie. Everyone all up in arms about how "she did nothing wrong" like lying to your SO is perfectly normal and acceptable.
@@jakeand9020Of course lying to your partner is wrong but that doesn't give you right to abuse someone for two years, and I keep seeing everyone defending him missing the part were he was abusive towards his ex wife and his children, at this point it just seems like you guys love to defend abuse, cause none of this justifies what he did
I really don't understand why bachelorette/bachelor partys are a thing anymore. My husband and I went out together with ALL of our friends. The hangover was horrible but it was a blast!
My ex did that to me when I was in communications with my ex fiancé. The reason being is that I took him to small claims. I was getting monthly payments and the deal was he was gonna tell me if the payments were gonna be late. My ex didn't like that and told me to block him. I said that I'll block my ex fiancé as soon as the payments are done. But he wasn't having it and for that I've been getting the same treatment as OP. For three years his behavior towards me got worse. He would cheat on me and show me pics of girls he was cheating on my with and use my ex fiancé as justification. The only reason I stayed for as long as I did was to prove to him that im loya while my self esteem got worsel. But after that last argument, I broke up with him and blocked him. I figured that I'd rather be alone than sleeping with the enemy.
Story 1: I don't want to victim blame or anything, but I genuinely don't understand how people bring kids into a relationship with horrible partners like this. It's one thing to be loyal to a partner you've been with for a long time, but subjecting your children to that is terrible. At first, I thought OP had kids with her husband, which isnt great, but I think it's even worse to willingly force your children from a previous relationship into such a tumultuous dynamic. Also, 12:30 OP *needs* a lawyer. Hes a horrible man and will take advantage of her. I know it isnt always financially feasible, but it'll be so much better in the long-term to take the financial hit now to avoid the issues that will inevitably rise from this.
Story 2: He is not a good Husband and not a good Father, he just an AH. But hey, but at least he has all the Time, Money from OP, is Single and can do whatever he wants.
Sounds to me he got exactly what he wanted. He absolutely sabotaged himself. Got half her assets in alimony check and gets to be a part time dad. Something tells me he sent the text to op on purpose, and not out of guilt
You know this dude was ecstatic to catch her doing something wrong (honestly the things she was texting her ex about, it was irrational to be mad. She just shouldn't have lied at most). Dude was praying shed be cheating or something so hed have something to hold over her head and emotionally blackmail her with
@jakeand9020 you've been replying to every comment saying she didn't deserved to be abused by how she betrayed his trust. do you think op1 deserved the abuse because of it? your point is confusing. yeah she broke his trust but he should have left instead of being abusive.
@@jakeand9020 it strongly comes across like you're rationalizing her being abused. what was she supposed to do in that scenario, reasonably? she was finalizing her involvement with her ex all together. she couldn't not talk to him in those instances- and it is unreasonable for the ex husband to have wanted her to nix contact completely while still untangling their lives. do you think the ex husband would have been understanding of her texting the prior ex had she been open? or do you think he would have freaked out all the same.
If OP’s ex husband hadn’t caught OP texting her ex (over literally nothing) he would’ve just found some other “reason” to torture and abuse her, and the ex wife’s history with this guy proves it. This “man” and his friends are a plague within our society and I pray for the millions of women that were and are currently being fooled into throwing away their happiness and lives for them.
She texted her ex and permanently broken his trust. His only mistake is not leaving her immediately and putting her on blast for cheating and letting the resentment fester instead.
@@shadowmuted-d4hbut she said her ex still had some of her belongings and she was still setting some things up after the separation as it seems they had joined finances, I think it's understandable to text him in that context. And anyways, don't "forgive" people if you are going to abuse them and isolate them for years, just break up and move on, it doesn't make you any better than the other party.
@@shadowmuted-d4hYes, everyone seems to be missing the part where she LIED to him that she wasn't in contact with the ex. Regardless, it was still just an excuse to justify his abuse.
@shadowmuted-d4h No. You can't just not be in contact with someone you are tied to by bills, belongings, or even children. Are you seriously just trying to dig, dig, dig into these comments that are saying how horrible the husband is with that other dude?
Story 1 WTF? I guess red is OP's favorite color, because her soon to be ex-husband is nothing but red flags. OP needs intense therapy before she even thinks of dating anyone ever again
Story 1: OP needs to have some therapy before she embarks on her next relationship. She has some issues to work through and needs to improve her self-image and discover what her boundaries are.
My abuser hated whistling, humming, or singing. He was scary. He would tell, throw/kick/ punch things, and tell me I sounded awful (I had been in bands, and choirs, since I was young. I did not "sound bad"). I stopped all of that. The kids grew up not making noise. We divorced when they were still young. I am so glad to be without him. He made me feel small, insignificant, and unattractive. And scared. Very scared all the time.
Yes conditioning from childhood abuse being normalized will make a person not understand how abusive their spouse actually is. We don't KNOW its abuse, we just know we are not happy with how our lives are unfolding with a terrible spouse. Especially when outsiders like and feel the abuser is a 'great' person... but they don't know or see the abuse behind closed doors.
Wait, just texting a random, innocuous conversation, or like, texting nudes? If she just texted the ex a random text that was completely platonic, this is absolutely insane behavior on the husband's part. Even then, his behavior is so, so controlling.
@@jakeand9020no it's wild to be so controlling that you don't allow your partner to work out the logistics of their breakup with their ex. Although I would probably argue that if you're still working out logistics with your ex you shouldn't get into a new relationship
Girl! He did all that to you and your kids. You had to sneakily move out, separate and you still want to “date” him! The bar for a relationship is hell!
Story 2: I bet that wasn’t the first time he cheated. He was way too casual about it. It’s just the first time he accidentally texted his wife about cheating.
The texting thing is just a control tactic. Something to hold over her as a trump card It should have never worked tho bc it wasn't even flirting, but it was never rational
that husband is mistreating them children at that point, them kids didn’t do nothing to him. Frankly I’m starting to understand why she might’ve done what she did.... Update: SHE NEVER CHEATED?! I thought that like she cheated on him. But she was just canceling a phone bill?! Girl, leave him, girl bye
Managing a move-out is one of a handful of totally valid reasons for talking to an ex while dating. Jumping into a new relationship so quickly was her first mistake. Staying in a relationship with a manipulator was her biggest mistake. She needs to stay away from relationships for at least a year. An occasional casual date could be fun, but nothing remotely resembling a relationship.
22:06 A lot of people would happily pay alimony and provide a "soft landing" to ultimately get a cheater out of their lives. The peace of knowing they're no longer your problem? So worth it lol take the money and your lack of self control somewhere else.
Except, the Cheater is not really out of her Life, he still involved, by being a "good" Father. Cheaters do not deserve anything, but this one got everything.
@@ShadowDevotion He's out of her life in any romantic capacity and that's the whole point. Getting his child 50% of the time is all he deserves out of this dynamic but seeing as she makes twice what he does - the man needs a lifeline. Sucks it has to be her but luckily, OP can afford to write him a check. I'd chalk it up to another dependent and keep it moving lol. Glad she's not dwelling on it!
Last guy was winning: lives a single life, part time parent and gets paid for it too. If you see it in its red pill concept: the wife lost for being too sensitive about sloppy toppy.
@shadowmuted-d4h Buddy, she was literally texting to get their lease figured out. She was actively trying to detangle their lives from one another, and the husband asked to make it stupidly convoluted. Maybe she shouldn't have lied about talking to him, sure, and that's absolutely a sign that the relationship wasn't healthy, but it's absolutely necessary in order to end relationships as adults.
I am still in contact with an ex and it's no big deal. It's just friendly, his wife knows (whom he loves very much) and it's completely platonic. He is a very nice person and I have a high regard for him, so there is absolutely no reason for us to not remain in touch. I would never put up with anyone telling me who I could or could not to talk too.
It's a huge deal, Hilary. Your dating pool is significantly smaller because of it, and whichever manlet you get with is going to get flak from his friends for settling down with such a high-risk woman.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Are you bonkers? I have't been a 20something for quite some time. I love being single, long may it remain so. Yeesh the 20 something men are soooo insecure. I know men are this weird in the US, but holy crap. Reading all this possessive childishness from reddit makes me wonder how many are bed wetters when they aren't having their pouts.
@@jakeand9020 I don't think she lied. She just didn't tell him as it is not necessary. She is an adult, not a 2 yr old like the big baby she wasted her time on.
@@hilaryc3203 You're going to have your wish granted; there's a very small pool of men that are willing to long-term with you, and they're all weird and childish. If you think you can talk to your exes without informing your current partner, you're a good part of the reason why Trump got elected. Continue to call good men possessive and childish and he'll get a third term.
Never even is it ok to be so disrespectful in a relationship said to be true partners. If we are working on something so big you go to therapy, not this open hostility 😐
Story two: shit he couldn’t even blame the beejer on too much alcohol. HE WASNT DRUNK, He chose to betray PREGNANT wife. Gods I hate men who do this. Bad enough to cheat but it’s so much worse because he is putting HIS UNBORN CHILD at risk for STDs.
The amount of incels in the comments saying she deserved it for “””cheating””” doesn’t surprise me seeing who just won reelection. If you agree with the husband, Stay mad and single.
Story 1 Update: Why would OP even continue dating him after moving out? How could you feel the need to move away from him and not realize it's too late?
You might not have tried to victim blame, but you still did. Abuse isn't something you realize until you're deep in it, and it can be normalized for people.
May I be banished to the depths of Reddit hell but there is no excuse for abuse, not even cheating. OP wasn't even cheating in this one. But Reddit need to freaking chill when it comes to infedility stories anyway. There is no reason to get someone fired, telling everyone up to a 3rd cousin living overseas, or otherwise isolate them because someone got cheated on.
S1: I'm confused on this one, OP isn't very clear. Did she push him after he threw their kids' items? That's escalating, and not advisable...also, if so, SHE turned physical and he could have actually had her arrested. But texting her ex about picking up her things? That's not cheating. Either way, this relationship is toxic and she needs to GTFO. So what if she doesn't tell him, it's more important to get out safely. That said...why tf are you dating him? The whole point of leaving was to break the toxic cycle, not restart it.
@@rubymeaddle She doesn't say that, and even if he is in her personal space, if she gets physical, the law says that's assault. Worried she could do something that could actually lead to her getting into trouble.
S1: after update, the talk with the ExWife kinda confirms to me that he would have accused her of being untrustworthy and deserving of shlt no matter what. The texting her Ex was just a convienient excuse. Although I wonder, how quickly did OP start dating again if she wasn't off her first Ex's lease when she started dating the current one? Was she that afraid of being alone that she rushed past red flags into the next guy who gave her attention?
1. Is the ex OP was texting the FATHER of her children? If yes, current husband is even crazier than crazy. 2. What was the text conversation with the ex about? Some exes can be on good terms. Like, “Hey, you came up in a conversation with my mom. She asked how you’re doing.” * Just texting an ex every several months is not cheating.
OP got lucky. First for disclosing she was leaving him and that he didn’t try to end her and/or the children. When she let him know where she lived instead of using a third location or dropping them off with someone. His friends are absolute losers and honestly OP should’ve called them out on it. I hope the dating after moving out was a ploy but with what OP put up with it wouldn’t surprise me if she was still pursing a relationship on some level since she was hoping he would understand her position. She needs a lot of therapy, learn boundaries and work on her self esteem because she may run into another red flag dude as there are many around.
It's simple. He never abused her and she simply lied, like she did about being in contact with her ex. If she works on her self-esteem, she'll be single for the remainder of her life. Single moms don't have good outcomes.
Why did you marry him in the first place? Seems like you moved on very quickly from your last relationship. Take some time out and focus on your poor kids.
S1: I don’t think this story is true. If it is, they HAVE to be the MOST insecure people in the world. Like, who would put up with this for two years for such ridiculous reasons?
Long term abuse quite literally reconfigures the victim’s brain. Combine that with a childhood without any good relationship role models and a lack of a support system and you’ll get people that will put up with anything.
Most abusers aren't like that in the beginning. It starts slowly, with one off incidents, then gradually escalates once they have you locked down. By that point, your confidence, self esteem and sense of self worth is already damaged and in question.
![Eminem - Fuel (feat. JID) [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/t5H_CewqpKA/mqdefault.jpg)
Story one: she. tried. dating. him. After, everything. Honey, GO TO THERAPY AND DO NOT DATE UNTIL YOU GET OVER YOUR EXTREME LACK OF CARE FOR YOUR WEL-BEING
Wanna finish your sentence?
@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 The single words and immediate punctuation afterward are deliberate. Have you never seen this way of communicating a point before? Are you ok?
@absolutelyridiculous6743 That's absolutely ridiculous. Actually.
@@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 Found the incel.
Even actual cheating isn't license to be abusive.
You're never forgiven for being a cheater.
You are not abused when you're kept on a shorter leash for making bad decisions.
Just leave the relationship if you can't agree to the new terms.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Having new boundaries is one thing, humiliating and torturing her (and she didn't even cheat on him!!) is another thing completely. Like, just leave if you know you'll never forgive your spouse
@@yamigoya8291she lied about "texting" her ex ...why would her husband believe she didn't do more than that? Cheaters lie and liars cheat
@@12savage68then leave, it's that simple, don't turn into an abuser because of that. Plus if you LISTEN TO THE STORY you would see how this guy has a history of being an abuser without any "cheating" involved, stop making up excuses to abuse people and LEAVE
@shadowmuted-d4h I hope you never get into a relationship if you think everything he did was justified from a single text. He threw things at her, isolated her, insulted her, threatened her, and humiliated her for TWO YEARS over a TEXT to an ex who still had her things.
Abuse is something that starts very small. You don't notice it as it's happening. And then one day you don't recognize your life.
The reason why they might not realize how bad the whole “consequences” thing is might be due to a mixture of gaslighting and slowly desensitizing them to it
9:50 “He said if I acted like the other wives and be seen and not heard that maybe they would have talked to me,” that… ummm… doesn’t make sense.
People like OP’s soon-to-be-ex-husband don’t care if their logic doesn’t make sense, they just want people they can put down and will keep changing the rules of the game to “win”.
It does.
Men aren't looking for unpleasant women with attitudes.
@@shadowmuted-d4hWhy did he marry her and then proceed to date her after she moved out, if he found her so unpleasant?
S1: Talking to your ex while you're actively breaking up with them and sorting out moving/financial issues with them, is VERY normal and not a breach of trust. And tbh, even if she was flirting with an ex, I get it, because her current partner sounds terrible 🤣
Yeah the amount of people who are saying the husband's fears are valid make me afraid for our youth. She wasn't texting him to reconnect ffs.
Dating another while you're still actively breaking up with your ex is not normal, therefore you're to take the blame in full.
Story 2: the ex-husband "paid the price"? He's the one who cheated, but still managed to make off like a bandit. He got alimony and child support....for cheating. That seems super unfair to me.If you cheat and blow up your marriage, you shouldn't get to benefit financially from it.
That's what happens in a "no fault" state. A state with "at fault" divorce take into account things like cheating and abuse and distribute assets accordingly. No fault states means even if you are a literal monster and the divorce was your fault that is not taken into account at all. Never get married in a no fault state
I get the feeling OP hops from one abusive relationship to another. It sounds like she wasn't even dating the current husband very long before jumping into marriage
Chronic people pleasers monkey branching from jerk to jerk is a sad cliche
@@samanthavanscoder9536 Not a people pleaser, just a 304.
I was honestly very confused by the timeline; she said she got caught texting the ex two months before the wedding, but then she said they were just texting about the logistics of the separation, which means they had just separated, that is way too soon to start a new relationship, let alone getting married. This is my own speculation, and I could be totally wrong, but I get the feeling that OP was cheating on her ex, with the current husband, which would also explain why he doesn’t trust her.
Thank you for saying this.
@@laurachavez8724she also said married for 2 years and together for 6. timeline makes no sense
I'm glad OP left, but I can't imagine what a hellhole it must've been for the kids and dog, living with that guy. It's incredible how he thinks there *must* be another man, instead of her leaving him because he sucks.
They never should have gotten married. It sounds like Op wasn't even actually doing anything bad and just trying to sort out moving stuff (assuming Op is being truthful) but this guy is so unhinged about it, and there's no trust because _he actively won't allow for any to be built._ He just assumes the worst of Op to a point Op can't even see friends because he's out here winning gold in the Olympics for how far he's jumping to conclusions
If I caught my woman texting her ex, there would never be a way to build trust after that.
As usual, missing the part where she had told him she wasn't in any contact with the ex, which was a straight up lie.
Everyone all up in arms about how "she did nothing wrong" like lying to your SO is perfectly normal and acceptable.
@@jakeand9020Of course lying to your partner is wrong but that doesn't give you right to abuse someone for two years, and I keep seeing everyone defending him missing the part were he was abusive towards his ex wife and his children, at this point it just seems like you guys love to defend abuse, cause none of this justifies what he did
@@SasoAkasuna She lied to him.
We can't trust anything she's said about him now.
@@shadowmuted-d4hthen fuckin leave
I really don't understand why bachelorette/bachelor partys are a thing anymore. My husband and I went out together with ALL of our friends. The hangover was horrible but it was a blast!
S2: ah yeah, the old bachelor/bachelorette chestnut, 60% of the time, it works every time….at ending relationships.
My ex did that to me when I was in communications with my ex fiancé. The reason being is that I took him to small claims. I was getting monthly payments and the deal was he was gonna tell me if the payments were gonna be late. My ex didn't like that and told me to block him. I said that I'll block my ex fiancé as soon as the payments are done. But he wasn't having it and for that I've been getting the same treatment as OP. For three years his behavior towards me got worse. He would cheat on me and show me pics of girls he was cheating on my with and use my ex fiancé as justification. The only reason I stayed for as long as I did was to prove to him that im loya while my self esteem got worsel. But after that last argument, I broke up with him and blocked him. I figured that I'd rather be alone than sleeping with the enemy.
Story 1: I don't want to victim blame or anything, but I genuinely don't understand how people bring kids into a relationship with horrible partners like this. It's one thing to be loyal to a partner you've been with for a long time, but subjecting your children to that is terrible. At first, I thought OP had kids with her husband, which isnt great, but I think it's even worse to willingly force your children from a previous relationship into such a tumultuous dynamic.
Also, 12:30 OP *needs* a lawyer. Hes a horrible man and will take advantage of her. I know it isnt always financially feasible, but it'll be so much better in the long-term to take the financial hit now to avoid the issues that will inevitably rise from this.
It's because single mothers are avoided by men and she's desperate.
Story 2: He is not a good Husband and not a good Father, he just an AH. But hey, but at least he has all the Time, Money from OP, is Single and can do whatever he wants.
Sounds to me he got exactly what he wanted. He absolutely sabotaged himself. Got half her assets in alimony check and gets to be a part time dad. Something tells me he sent the text to op on purpose, and not out of guilt
You know this dude was ecstatic to catch her doing something wrong (honestly the things she was texting her ex about, it was irrational to be mad. She just shouldn't have lied at most). Dude was praying shed be cheating or something so hed have something to hold over her head and emotionally blackmail her with
It is not irrational for him to be mad about her texting the ex, because regardless of the reason she still LIED to him.
@jakeand9020 you've been replying to every comment saying she didn't deserved to be abused by how she betrayed his trust. do you think op1 deserved the abuse because of it? your point is confusing. yeah she broke his trust but he should have left instead of being abusive.
@@lizartfight9157 No, I am replying to the comments saying, or strongly implying, "she did nothing wrong."
@@jakeand9020 it strongly comes across like you're rationalizing her being abused. what was she supposed to do in that scenario, reasonably? she was finalizing her involvement with her ex all together. she couldn't not talk to him in those instances- and it is unreasonable for the ex husband to have wanted her to nix contact completely while still untangling their lives. do you think the ex husband would have been understanding of her texting the prior ex had she been open? or do you think he would have freaked out all the same.
@@jakeand9020 You really wish you could abuse women don't you? Do you wish you could be Elliot Roger?
If OP’s ex husband hadn’t caught OP texting her ex (over literally nothing) he would’ve just found some other “reason” to torture and abuse her, and the ex wife’s history with this guy proves it. This “man” and his friends are a plague within our society and I pray for the millions of women that were and are currently being fooled into throwing away their happiness and lives for them.
She texted her ex and permanently broken his trust.
His only mistake is not leaving her immediately and putting her on blast for cheating and letting the resentment fester instead.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Ya I'm also confused. Did she literally say I threw crap at him then pushed him? That is pretty big thing to just gloss over.
@@shadowmuted-d4hbut she said her ex still had some of her belongings and she was still setting some things up after the separation as it seems they had joined finances, I think it's understandable to text him in that context. And anyways, don't "forgive" people if you are going to abuse them and isolate them for years, just break up and move on, it doesn't make you any better than the other party.
@@shadowmuted-d4hYes, everyone seems to be missing the part where she LIED to him that she wasn't in contact with the ex.
Regardless, it was still just an excuse to justify his abuse.
@@SasoAkasunadon't cheat on people and think you'll be "forgiven"
Holy shit, the husband in the first story is trash
And the wife isn't trash for still being in contact with her ex?
The wife lied about being in contact with the ex for a reason because she's trash .
@shadowmuted-d4h No. You can't just not be in contact with someone you are tied to by bills, belongings, or even children. Are you seriously just trying to dig, dig, dig into these comments that are saying how horrible the husband is with that other dude?
@@shadowmuted-d4hwho cares? It didn’t justify the abuse he put her and their kids through
@@jademarine6847 So you just don't date 'til you're no longer tied to them by any of those things.
Simple.
Story 1 WTF? I guess red is OP's favorite color, because her soon to be ex-husband is nothing but red flags. OP needs intense therapy before she even thinks of dating anyone ever again
OP needs intense therapy for hiding the fact that she was still in contact with the ex and lying about it too.
@@TexasSpectre The ex had her things and they had bills in both their names. That's a valid reason to be texting a person.
@ Not a valid reason to hide it or lie about it, though!
@@TexasSpectre Lying to an abuser is always valid sweetie
@@rubymeaddle Except according to OP, he *wasn't* abusive before. She had no justification to lie.
Story 1: OP needs to have some therapy before she embarks on her next relationship. She has some issues to work through and needs to improve her self-image and discover what her boundaries are.
If she improves her self-image, her ego will be overbloated.
She's a single mom.
There's no way to improve her value from there.
If you're in an unbearable relationship, I don't think it matters if you're leaving in an asshole way. Just go. Take care of yourself.
My abuser hated whistling, humming, or singing. He was scary. He would tell, throw/kick/ punch things, and tell me I sounded awful (I had been in bands, and choirs, since I was young. I did not "sound bad"). I stopped all of that. The kids grew up not making noise.
We divorced when they were still young. I am so glad to be without him. He made me feel small, insignificant, and unattractive. And scared. Very scared all the time.
Sounds like my step dad
Yes conditioning from childhood abuse being normalized will make a person not understand how abusive their spouse actually is. We don't KNOW its abuse, we just know we are not happy with how our lives are unfolding with a terrible spouse. Especially when outsiders like and feel the abuser is a 'great' person... but they don't know or see the abuse behind closed doors.
Wait, just texting a random, innocuous conversation, or like, texting nudes? If she just texted the ex a random text that was completely platonic, this is absolutely insane behavior on the husband's part. Even then, his behavior is so, so controlling.
How you feel about relationships with exes is completely irrelevant, she still lied to him.
@jakeand9020 there is still nuance.
@@jakeand9020no it's wild to be so controlling that you don't allow your partner to work out the logistics of their breakup with their ex. Although I would probably argue that if you're still working out logistics with your ex you shouldn't get into a new relationship
she texted the ex about moving out logistics and bills. totally innocent
@@drezhb ok, then the bf is legitimately insane.
I'm sorry but the OP in story 1 is a total doormat! Why does she keep giving this man/child other chances? He sounds completely awful!
She's a single mom.
If she tries to be anything but a doormat, she will not be entering another relationship again.
Girl! He did all that to you and your kids. You had to sneakily move out, separate and you still want to “date” him! The bar for a relationship is hell!
You say "and your kids".
Her having kids is part of what made the relationship so toxic.
Just stop dating if you're a single mom; it's over.
Story 2: I bet that wasn’t the first time he cheated. He was way too casual about it. It’s just the first time he accidentally texted his wife about cheating.
The texting thing is just a control tactic. Something to hold over her as a trump card
It should have never worked tho bc it wasn't even flirting, but it was never rational
that husband is mistreating them children at that point, them kids didn’t do nothing to him.
Frankly I’m starting to understand why she might’ve done what she did....
Update: SHE NEVER CHEATED?! I thought that like she cheated on him.
But she was just canceling a phone bill?!
Girl, leave him, girl bye
Managing a move-out is one of a handful of totally valid reasons for talking to an ex while dating. Jumping into a new relationship so quickly was her first mistake. Staying in a relationship with a manipulator was her biggest mistake. She needs to stay away from relationships for at least a year. An occasional casual date could be fun, but nothing remotely resembling a relationship.
She married too quickly. Yikes
This was so stupid. Op got caught negotiating bills. Ffs
"We continued to date"
Uhhhh....why......
OP just needs to tell him it’s over. She’s got a place to go. The guy sounds awful.
22:06 A lot of people would happily pay alimony and provide a "soft landing" to ultimately get a cheater out of their lives. The peace of knowing they're no longer your problem? So worth it lol take the money and your lack of self control somewhere else.
Except, the Cheater is not really out of her Life, he still involved, by being a "good" Father. Cheaters do not deserve anything, but this one got everything.
@@ShadowDevotion He's out of her life in any romantic capacity and that's the whole point. Getting his child 50% of the time is all he deserves out of this dynamic but seeing as she makes twice what he does - the man needs a lifeline. Sucks it has to be her but luckily, OP can afford to write him a check. I'd chalk it up to another dependent and keep it moving lol. Glad she's not dwelling on it!
@@diamcole Nah, he should file for full custody.
Mom has demonstrated she doesn't make good choices and dad can raise the child better.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Meh, pretty weak rage bait. 🤣
@@diamcole I'm not looking to get a rise out of you.
With Trump in office, fathers will be prioritized.
Last guy was winning: lives a single life, part time parent and gets paid for it too.
If you see it in its red pill concept: the wife lost for being too sensitive about sloppy toppy.
S1. Thankfully this woman is in therapy.
Story 1- holy shit, she didn't do anything wrong from the very beginning. The husband is an insecure, abusive prick. What the fuck??
Yes she did, she texted her ex whilst in a new relationship.
You're right that the husband is insecure, he didn't dump her on the spot.
he set the boundary that he didn't want her talking to ex, she lied about messaging ex. he's not abusive either infact she literally assaulted him
@shadowmuted-d4h Buddy, she was literally texting to get their lease figured out. She was actively trying to detangle their lives from one another, and the husband asked to make it stupidly convoluted. Maybe she shouldn't have lied about talking to him, sure, and that's absolutely a sign that the relationship wasn't healthy, but it's absolutely necessary in order to end relationships as adults.
@@DHastyDoes not matter WHY she was texting the ex, she still lied to his face.
@@DHastyLmao and you believe she had a reason to lie to her husband about that? Cheaters minimize their actions.
I am still in contact with an ex and it's no big deal. It's just friendly, his wife knows (whom he loves very much) and it's completely platonic. He is a very nice person and I have a high regard for him, so there is absolutely no reason for us to not remain in touch. I would never put up with anyone telling me who I could or could not to talk too.
It's a huge deal, Hilary.
Your dating pool is significantly smaller because of it, and whichever manlet you get with is going to get flak from his friends for settling down with such a high-risk woman.
How you feel about relationships with exes is completely irrelevant, she still lied to him.
@@shadowmuted-d4h Are you bonkers? I have't been a 20something for quite some time. I love being single, long may it remain so. Yeesh the 20 something men are soooo insecure. I know men are this weird in the US, but holy crap. Reading all this possessive childishness from reddit makes me wonder how many are bed wetters when they aren't having their pouts.
@@jakeand9020 I don't think she lied. She just didn't tell him as it is not necessary. She is an adult, not a 2 yr old like the big baby she wasted her time on.
@@hilaryc3203 You're going to have your wish granted; there's a very small pool of men that are willing to long-term with you, and they're all weird and childish.
If you think you can talk to your exes without informing your current partner, you're a good part of the reason why Trump got elected.
Continue to call good men possessive and childish and he'll get a third term.
Story 1: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong . She wasn’t even really cheating
Never even is it ok to be so disrespectful in a relationship said to be true partners. If we are working on something so big you go to therapy, not this open hostility 😐
Story two: shit he couldn’t even blame the beejer on too much alcohol. HE WASNT DRUNK, He chose to betray PREGNANT wife. Gods I hate men who do this. Bad enough to cheat but it’s so much worse because he is putting HIS UNBORN CHILD at risk for STDs.
The amount of incels in the comments saying she deserved it for “””cheating””” doesn’t surprise me seeing who just won reelection. If you agree with the husband, Stay mad and single.
Honey….don’t subject your kids to this and don’t date until you get yourself well.
Story 1 Update: Why would OP even continue dating him after moving out? How could you feel the need to move away from him and not realize it's too late?
Because nobody has told you how bad things are for single moms.
You might not have tried to victim blame, but you still did. Abuse isn't something you realize until you're deep in it, and it can be normalized for people.
There will be consequences for the consequences!
These stories were some wild rides!
Lol. “ the butt of the joke”
So he marrying her bc "be seen and not heard" that fuck up.
May I be banished to the depths of Reddit hell but there is no excuse for abuse, not even cheating. OP wasn't even cheating in this one. But Reddit need to freaking chill when it comes to infedility stories anyway. There is no reason to get someone fired, telling everyone up to a 3rd cousin living overseas, or otherwise isolate them because someone got cheated on.
S1: I'm confused on this one, OP isn't very clear. Did she push him after he threw their kids' items? That's escalating, and not advisable...also, if so, SHE turned physical and he could have actually had her arrested. But texting her ex about picking up her things? That's not cheating. Either way, this relationship is toxic and she needs to GTFO. So what if she doesn't tell him, it's more important to get out safely.
That said...why tf are you dating him? The whole point of leaving was to break the toxic cycle, not restart it.
If he was in her personal space cornering, she would have had to push him away.
@@rubymeaddle She doesn't say that, and even if he is in her personal space, if she gets physical, the law says that's assault. Worried she could do something that could actually lead to her getting into trouble.
Story 2: WHY did the cheating husband get alimony?
Because that's how the law works in no fault states without a pre-nup.
@@rubymeaddle No-fault is going away, no worries.
both stories make me equally so glad i never married, and certain that modern healthy marriage is at risk of extinction.
Your perception of the world is limited to reddit stories? Sad
S1: after update, the talk with the ExWife kinda confirms to me that he would have accused her of being untrustworthy and deserving of shlt no matter what. The texting her Ex was just a convienient excuse. Although I wonder, how quickly did OP start dating again if she wasn't off her first Ex's lease when she started dating the current one? Was she that afraid of being alone that she rushed past red flags into the next guy who gave her attention?
Story 1: OP needs to pick better men.
She needs to stop and be single for a while.
@@trillionbones89 It will be for the remainder of her time.
She's a single mom.
"Better" is not available to her, and never will be.
1. Is the ex OP was texting the FATHER of her children? If yes, current husband is even crazier than crazy.
2. What was the text conversation with the ex about? Some exes can be on good terms. Like, “Hey, you came up in a conversation with my mom. She asked how you’re doing.”
*
Just texting an ex every several months is not cheating.
How you feel about relationships with exes is completely irrelevant, she still lied to him.
@ ummm… how exactly was she supposed to get her bills separated? Talking through someone else is ridiculous.
Story one how is texting an ex cheating? The husband acts like complete nutter…..dangerous
She lied to him when she told him she was not in contact with the ex. Cheating or not, lying is lying.
Hi everyone!
Hey 👋
Too many men in the comments are trying to justify the abuse.
Hey Markee 👍 Have a delightful day 👋🤗
Good afternoon/ morning everyone 👋🤗
Story 1… I’m sorry but “pushed him BACK” means you were defending yourself… barely into the story and it’s obvious OP needs to go.
Story 1 I’m sorry but op is really dumb. She’s STILL dating him oh my god she’s thick
Hello markee!
Why did she marry him
OP got lucky. First for disclosing she was leaving him and that he didn’t try to end her and/or the children. When she let him know where she lived instead of using a third location or dropping them off with someone. His friends are absolute losers and honestly OP should’ve called them out on it. I hope the dating after moving out was a ploy but with what OP put up with it wouldn’t surprise me if she was still pursing a relationship on some level since she was hoping he would understand her position. She needs a lot of therapy, learn boundaries and work on her self esteem because she may run into another red flag dude as there are many around.
It's simple.
He never abused her and she simply lied, like she did about being in contact with her ex.
If she works on her self-esteem, she'll be single for the remainder of her life.
Single moms don't have good outcomes.
Naw. He should have left in the first place.
Ah so "just get over it"
🦐
‼️⚠️‼️
ppl still get alimony after cheating? That doesnt sound fair.
Why did you marry him in the first place? Seems like you moved on very quickly from your last relationship. Take some time out and focus on your poor kids.
Omg how am I this early!!!!! Thanks Markee I had nothing to watch ❤
S1: I don’t think this story is true. If it is, they HAVE to be the MOST insecure people in the world. Like, who would put up with this for two years for such ridiculous reasons?
Long term abuse quite literally reconfigures the victim’s brain. Combine that with a childhood without any good relationship role models and a lack of a support system and you’ll get people that will put up with anything.
Yeah. Now i want to hear the husband side of the story. Op sounds toxic af. I don't feel the least bit sorry for her.
Most abusers aren't like that in the beginning. It starts slowly, with one off incidents, then gradually escalates once they have you locked down. By that point, your confidence, self esteem and sense of self worth is already damaged and in question.
Early gang! ❤
おはよ〜、マーキー ❢ ♥️🤗
3 min and 57 views? You fell off
4 minutes,146 views.I made the 20th like
Wtf man, be nice
6 minutes in and 279 views now.
11m:480v