Is Screen Time For Kids Really That Bad??
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Is Screen Time For Kids Really That Bad?? My Thoughts.
This video has been sponsored by HIYA heyshayla.com/hiyaYT
We all know there is a lot of flack around screen time for our kids, I've learned a few things from experience and from interviewing pediatric speech therapists at www.weetalkers.com/ on Episode 40 of my podcast heyshayla.buzzsprout.com/1819031
1. Screen time often goes in seasons. Literal seasons like less time in the summer and more in the COLD winter (or opposite in warm climates), during the 1st trimester of a subsequent baby, during nap time with another child, etc. Go easy on yourself.
2. Screen time for kids not inherently BAD, it's more about what it's taking kids AWAY from aka physical activity.
3. Screen size matters in this case. TVs are better options than phones or tablets because of posture, and the control that the kids have over the device.
4. LOW STIMULATION kids shows: muted colors, calm sounds, slow scene changes etc. Get my a few recommendations by streaming service here: heyshayla.com/screentime
5. What are you going to do instead? This is where I struggled. When I turned the TV off I was like… sooooo what do you guys like to do? lol I learned to ALSO get things that I like to do with them. Here is my Amazon list of things I bought. heyshayla.com/toys
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00:00 Hey Shayla Intro
00:16 Screen Time for Kids
00:34 What we do for screen time an what I've learned
00:47 I support you, Ma
01:02 Kids expect what you predictably do.
01:14 What to do instead of Screen Time
01:53 Screen Time goes in SEASONS
02:25 When you get sick TV is your BFF
03:41 Is TV BAD?
04:44 Device Size Matters!
05:02 Quality Screen Time
05:41 My low stimulation show recommendations
06:37 Can be used as a tool
07:16 CAN be beneficial
08:45 Be conscious about your "no"s
Hi I’m a psychologist working with tough 2 year olds. Screens must be accompanied by social interaction, and models in person ALWAYS for kids 5 under. Or else, your child is not absorbing much. Claire lerner is my reference. Also my job. Behavior training, using screens as a reward for the child learning self control (NEVER give iPad immediately after they scream, demand they calm down, help them use their body and mind to exhibit calmness, then give the screen).
I’ve heard a good way to handle screen time is to have routines for it. Like having a family movie night on Fridays - having set times/places where it’s allowed, so kids aren’t begging for it at other times. Same for if it’s an interactive game on a tablet/phone - only do it during certain times or situations.
This is a great idea!!
i think an important part of this conversation that is constantly overlooked is neurodivergent kids, specifically autistic children (like mine) who use screen time to regulate and also to learn. gestalt language processors often learn to first communicate by echoing phrases from their favorites shows! it’s amazing. if you don’t have a non-speaking child like we do, it’s hard to understand. but screen time is a necessity in our home and especially when we’re out and she’s dysregulated/we don’t have access to her other regulating tools (swings/climbing and other proprioceptive input). Ms Rachel has taught my girl so many words that we’ve carried into our daily life and expanded her ability to communicate. her speech therapist (also her OT and pediatrician) all endorse her screen time and have seen only positive outcomes from her having it.
it’s worth a mention that neurodiverse kids are not included in “studies” done on screen time. and that needs to change.
Screen time is not something I would treat as an absolute like many parenting groups do
My understanding is that screen time is only bad if it would replace meaningful activities otherwise. If you wouldn’t be doing something meaningful otherwise? They wouldn’t miss anything.
I personally believe that screen time is simply another tool in the toolbox. If 15 minutes of screens buys me enough energy to engage in meaningful play with my child? I think screen time is beneficial since he kid is getting something there wouldn’t be energy for otherwise.
Obviously doing something else is great, but my best "almost screen time" options are:
- Disney stories on spotify
- Show they ask for on an iPad, but I connect it to a Bluetooth speaker and hide the iPad (great when she's demanding Octonauts or something, I'll say "we can listen to an Octonauts story")
- Nature relaxation videos on youtube, it is screen time, but its calming music and videos of animals and landscapes so its super low stim
These things usually work with my kids to stop the screentime meltdown, but are "lame" enough to help us transition to other activities more easily (or even get them to find something to do by themselves while listening)
I love this idea!!!!
I'm a FTM. With no help, and a Velcro baby.. we allow our 9mo old to watch a show so that I can make myself lunch! Being a mom is so hard. 😅 I never thought I'd allow screen time especially not this early... but after months of starving and holding him constantly - I needed a small break. 🤷🏼♀️
Lol same.. sometimes it’s the only way for a moment
I just put my little guy in the stokke chair while I cook and eat and give him some kitchen utensiles to play with 😊
I can relate, sometimes I go without eating from constantly tending to my 6 month old, who seems to want to be in my skin as well as a busy 2 year old and it makes me sort of a hangry mom
Shayla always holding it down giving us all the resources and answers to all the things we’re already thinking 😉
I love you for taking this topic on. It seems like it’s getting as heated as vaccines and cosleeping.
Damn really?!
It‘s so sad that this has to be controversial. Kind of makes sense little kids shouldn’t be sitting in front of screens all day 😮
@@heyshayla I feel like it is! Maybe just the circles I’m around but I have some friends who give absolutely unbridled access to tablets and others who have kids who don’t even have screens in their home beyond mom’s phone that gets plugged in at the door when they’re home. Very few friends in the middle who utilize it carefully.
@@heyshaylaPeople take it WAY to seriously. Saw a meta-analysis talking about how “screentime” is poorly defined and the detriments were found when it’s daily 2+ hours per day of TV time, no updates for the newer ways screens are used.
So basically we don’t have any good data on how modern technology impacts things long term because the data is still being generated.
If I could do it all over again, I'd still wait as long as possible to introduce screen time, we waited 17 months and I'd wait longer if I could. I'd also pick the time and place that makes the most sense bc it will become a routine and it's easier to set limits from the start rather than try to reel back in later. I'd also start with incredibly low stimulus options, like nature shows, or read aloud stories, and then potentially shows of real humans doing things or shows that incorporate real humans, educational options,rather than a typical show.
I would do that as long as possible. They don't want what they don't know.
Personally, I think you just evaluate what shows are beneficial, your child will pick up on different things than other kids. Like we did enjoy bluey, but then she became whiney like the little girls are in the show, repeating verbatim their complaints and gripes, and we stopped it.
You can always change what you do as you go, but easier to start small. Pick shows that align with your values, if you hate it, don't let them watch it, period. Like if you hate violence, don't let them watch anything violent, etc. As with anything, they show could include valuable information or habits, but the best way to teach that to your kids will always ultimately be through modeling.
Also #1, I definitely think it's worth it to use kids RUclips if using that, AND pay for no ads. Ads are garbage and are designed to influence want. Not necessary at all and it's the best money we spend.
Also, preventing a meltdown is preferable for everyone involved, however, a meltdown in the name of limiting screens or changing a habit you no longer feel is serving your family, is worth it. Empathize, redirect, it will end. They are just telling you they aren't happy, a welcome feeling with change. It will pass.
I 100% agree with this comment. Screentime - yes, but late and controlled.
I really appreciate this video! I'm in my 1st trimester with my second and I am so sick. I'm also still nursing #1 and I'm exhausted. I've been feeling so guilty about the extra screen time right now!
No girl you get a pass lol
We did close to zero screen time under two. So here are more screen LITE ideas:
• Dance parties/ Music played off the TV
• Virtual Storytime with a local library. Basically FaceTime with your children’s librarian.
• Book read alouds on YT, we were lucky enough that our local library also made these so our kid was seeing an actual person from her community.
• Ask Dad, Grandparent, Aunt Uncles to record videos of themselves singing a lullaby or doing a storytime. Or even their own cousins doing something fun.
• FaceTime a family member!
• Picture slideshow. A lot of my family members have Aurora frames that show a constant picture slide show. Very low stimulation and great conversation starter with older little ones.
• Go through family photos on your phone together, our Grandparents love to do this!
• Save light up & noise making toys for tougher scenarios like car rides or trips to the store.
Hope those ideas are helpful! 🤓
Staying off my phone during those first few years also helped my mind get more creative and find a rhythm of what else there is to do.
I agree with your perspective about this! Screen time is not evil, but we should be intentional with it. Our family also watches more screen time in the winter for sure.
I feel like as with most other things in life that everything is fine in moderation.
*pauses video. Goes to download the list. Sends list to husband to discuss later.
Thank you Shayla. Perfect video at the most perfect time. ❤
Loooooove!!!!!
I was super nervous to watch this because i definitely have a love/hate relationship with screen time. Thank you for providing so much information and pros vs cons mentality. Appreciate you and your content very much ❤
I don't do tablets or phones with my littles at all as they tend to be more overstimulating, and I hate how they can come out into the world with you! At least the TV stays at home so my kids can't demand it whenever they get bored in a restaurant or out shopping 😂 I might make an exception if we had to go on a plane or something but that would really be a one off.
We do watch TV, but if a show is irritating to me it's probably overstimulating to their brains too, so we won't watch that show again 😂 We go for things that have more natural colours, slower paced, and follows a story. Something that we can enjoy and watch together whilst snuggling up and talking about what we're watching ❤
San diego zoo has live feed cameras! My son LOVES watching the penguins! Amazon prime kids also has other "virtual field trips". Such a cool alternative to constant games or videos!
I love how you break it down into seasons. So much yes on that!
This is a good example of why I like following you. Happy Thanksgiving!
Being conscious about no’s has been a huge part of my journey as a toddler parent. Like wait why do I care? 🤔
Thank you for making this. I have a lot of guilt around screen time and this was a breath of fresh air.
This topic has been on my mind a lot lately! Thanks for sharing ❤
I was 100% anti screen in my first pregnancy, and then my first baby had a severe brain injury at birth…
He is physically disabled and uses a wheelchair, and you can’t just tell your baby or toddler “go play” when they literally can’t. This broke me and totally changed my perspective on screens. I surrendered that expectation I had of NO screens, and we do our best to censor his shows, make sure they are low stim and educational, and high quality, but I don’t put a limit on screen time at this point.
Just like Shayla said, there are seasons of screens where we have even had some days of none at all! And then there are big screen days :/
In order for my son to play, I have to move his arms and legs and hands and head and play for him. It is so physically taxing and exhausting. It is totally worth the extra effort for my sweet boy, but it’s just not realistic that 100%’of the time I can do that for him. When he is at the hospital or clinic appointments and I have to focus on the specialist, or he has to get through an uncomfortable procedure or examination, a screen has been a wonderful tool we can use to help us all get through such a high stress situation.
I love when Shayla brought up feeling overstimulated and just needing a moment to eat or breathe and putting on a short show, that is so real!!
Anyhow, I am now pregnant with our third dear baby, and I use it when I need it and know that this is not our forever. When they are older and more progressed, we can do more activities outside or I can set them up with activities to entertain or educate, but right now they need mama so much, we just gotta do what we have to do to all keep our peace and move forward
Just survived my first trimester with having a toddler by snuggling with him on the couch and watching movies. Slowly getting back to normal and dialing back the screen time accordingly!
I love your vibe. And your videos. Thank you for your autentic content. ❤
P.S. I am looooove Bluey, it's amaaaaazing.
The 00s Barbie movies are great! I loved Barbie nutcracker and swan lake as a child.
My toddler loves Little Bear. Like he thinks those animals are hilarious, and we watch together and he looks over at me cracking up as if he’s thinking “do you see this?? How funny are they?!” It’s honestly the cutest thing. We enjoy it together.
I gave my daughter my phone after we went on a 7hr drive and we had covid a few weeks after.. it was a nightmare during and after.. the immediate gratification, the constant hit of dopamine.. but at the moment we were in a car and we were really sick.. so that's that.. I definitely saw what the control did to her and the content that was happening ugh.. it took us a bit but now she gets my phone isnt going to happen.. some TV and some tablet with games.. all the songs she's learned is quite fun..
My mom did very very minimal screen time when we were kids not because she was against it but because we had a huge safe yard to play in and that's what we wanted to do. But she also only had a few movies for us so I think that helped. So I wanted to do the same. Now I am doing pretty much no screen time but this week both our cars decided to go to the shop and we have no yard where we live...we've done super screen time. Anyway. This was apt for me because I felt so much guilt! I guess we've gotta figure out what works for us as we go.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I LOVE this!!
I have a (almost) 2 year old, (almost) 1 year old, and I’m pregnant! I’m home with no help 14 hours a day, 6 days a week. Anddddd still do absolutely everything 24/7 anyways… So if mama has to put on a movie so I can cook, and do all the house chores…. (I think screen time is okay) haha😂
It is soo hard to not turn to the tv in winter 😅 maybe that's another reason for all the holiday movies
Loved this video! I think I’m about in the same camp as you. I try to balance screen time with getting activity and reading in. For the longest time he wasn’t interested in it at all (which was fine), but around when he turned one we found Pokémon videos, and since he had recently fallen in love with pikachu, it was the first time he stopped to actually watch it. 😂 I’ve recently started to sprinkle in some Ms. Rachel. I really appreciate the list you made. PB and J otter is on Disney?? Heck yeah, kiddo, I know what you’re gonna watch from now on! 😂
When I was a kid in the 80s & 90s, the TV was on at all waking hours. No, it wasn't cartoons the whole time, but it was on. And I feel like I turned out fine. We still did other stuff like play with toys and go outside, because even the TV can be boring after a while. I do watch a lot of TV with my little one, but it's almost all nursery rhymes we can sing together or non-cartoon shows like Mrs Rachel and Blippi.
Book Bears on Peacock a good one too! Only one season, but it has like 18 episodes or something. The bears read stories within the show. Occasionally, we will find the matching book at the library and bring it home! We’ve watched the same season at least 5times now. I have an almost 3 year old.
My mum let me watch Michael Jackson video clips when I was around 3, over and over again, along with cats and river dance. Pivotal childhood shaping with awesome dance and music!
The biggest issue with any studies on children and screen time is that none of them account for other factors that lead to negative outcomes.
For example, studies have made links between screen time and poor outcomes at school. However, these studies don't consider other factors. A child who is in front of a screen all the time is likely to be the child of neglectful parents, or the child of a poor family. Families like this may have worse access to nutrition, quality schools, dedicated attention from family, warm and dry homes - all of which definitely lead to bad outcomes for kids. So while TV may have a role to play, it isn't clear if it's the amount of screen time or the lack of other needs being met!
Also I really, really recommend paying for RUclips Premium to avoid getting adverts on what your kids watch - it's so much less stressful.
This is suuuuuuch a good point!!
On the other end of the spectrum, Im always the odd one out in parent groups because our children dont watch television/ use a tablet/phone etc. So when Im asked if I like Bluey for example and Ive never seen it, Ive received various looks, comments, questions that are very judgemental. I try always to avoid any screen talk at playgroup 😅 its difficult to find adults secure enough in their decisions to have conversations thay might differ in opinion/approaches.
I think most people want to do that and I think I could but set personally loves chilling and watching a show so it’s a balance. But I’m genuinely curious what you do and what toys you have. Do you feel like you’re constantly entertaining or they just learn how to do their own thing!
Thanks for the comment!
@@heyshayla I love television and movies/shows big time for myself as well! In regards to toys, we have lots of open ended ones (magnetiles, connecting tubes, figurines, blocks, etc). Open ended art space available at all times, we aim to get outside twice a day (still finding the rhythm since baby came). Books books books my toddler loves listening to books, we also have the Yoto mini and they love to cuddle up in a blanket and listen to a story laying down. Building independent play skills takes time and intention, I'm not physically able to be the entertainer 24/7 and I don't think that's our role! My toddler can engage for periods of independent play during the day, and other times joins me in everyday tasks as well. Our parenting motto has always been this is what works for us today, so we know this is not forever but it's working for us today!
If people are rude or judgemental about your choices, I think that demonstrates insecurity on their part!
I do watch TV with my little ones, but I know why I do it and why that works for our lifestyle. But I can see the benefits of being screen-free too, and I think that's great you're managing to do that. I'd say well done to you! But I'm not insecure about my choices. I think people feel most uncomfortable with people having different lifestyle/parenting choices when it makes them stop and question something they hadn't thought about before. Lots of people follow the status quo (e.g. screen time) not out of conscious choice, but because they haven't taken the time to consider the pros and cons of different options. I think it's great that there are people like you doing something different and that will have the positive effect of making people pause and question their own screen habits with their kids (if they haven't already). Keep doing what's best for you and your family!
@@kayoss2306 I couldn't agree more! You worded this so well, and I do remind myself that when I'm feeling judged or receiving criticism it's about them not me at the end of it. Thank you for sharing this!!
My son has lots of screen time (at night after daycare and over weekends)... But he's so active and can't sit still for a long time...
So he constantly moves around and plays with his toys (and everything else that aren't his toys) while he's watching TV...
I might just try and find shows that are 'better' for him....
Plz a house and backyard tour specific to kids!
My 3 month old HATES the car. If we have to be in the car longer than 10 minutes she'll scream and scream. So I started busting out the tablet and letting her watch something. My thought: screen time cannot possibly be worse than her screaming for 45 minutes. We don't do screen time other than that.
My younger brother did that as an infant. When he got older we realized he gets car sick very easily, and we think that's why he screamed so much as a baby. 🙁
My 3 year old has started doing this as well! All of the sudden getting in the car is a meltdown and then driving is random screaming fits 😅 we have considered a tablet that stays in the car. As much as I want to avoid it, I feel like it might help.
My son did that too. He stopped around the time he turned 1. He sleeps in the car now. I switched him to a convertible car seat at nine months. I think that helped him
@Madi-ls5uu that's what I've heard, and plan to do. I'm wondering if her carseat just isn't comfortable...
@@ruhhshelle I had him in the uppa baby mesa carseat. I think he didn't like the angle. I have his convertible carseat all the way inclined up for rear facing. Good luck! I know it's hard when they hate the car.
Puffin Rock is on Netflix in the UK... class!!
I have way less guilt about this than I did like five years ago! Yeah babies should be busy learning to walk and engage with the world but my son and I were learning about whales through a documentary yesterday. And like you say, totally bonding over it!
We don’t do screen time, I have a baby and oldest daughter is 2 and honestly I’m afraid that is going to become into a big issue with her so I prefer to avoid it for now. Once she can understand better and listen better maybe I will try. And instead we do some activities together but also I just let her be when I’m busy. She sometimes stays with me bored and complaining but that is fine, I think is fine that she is bored, then she finds something to do. If she is crying too much I can carry her in my back in a baby carrier, or if is too much I just stop whatever I’m doing and we go out for a walk. I’m lucky that my husband is home everyday around 5 pm so he is here for bed time, so I really don’t feel like I need the screen time.
My two year old loves those really low quality RUclips videos where there's like balls of various colours coming out of a faucet into a tub. I hate them, but you know what, these videos have actually helped my boy to learn colours along with other vocabulary! We try to mix things up a bit by watching more high quality stuff on Netflix like Shaun the Sheep and Blues Clues. Super simple songs is awesome, I can't get those songs out of my head.
Another tip I heard was to engage with them over the show. Talk to them about what they learned, talk through character's decisions: was that a good choice or a bad choice; so that learning is increased even more and it gives you another point of connection with them! That makes the screentime more quality than just sitting them in front of it and passively taking it in
My one year old likes kipper occasionally
Keep him on the TV? So they just sit there blindly watching whatever’s on the screen? Subject to all the commercials and whatever is going on? I give my kid a tablet so she can play educational games using her mind and moving at least her hands around. If I am to put something on the television, it’s something that I don’t expect her to actually watch, like a live stream of the sea so that she can look up and maybe see a turtle every once in a while. Unless I’m actually sitting there watching with her, which I haven’t done yet because she’s only two. I let her watching Miss Rachel after dinner time for a little while, but other than that she gets to play with the phone of the tablet… I am a little concerned about posture, but it is being interactive. Teaching her numbers and letters and colors and shapes and organizing. And I feel like it’s a lot better for her mind even though she’s a bit hunched over while she’s doing it.
I do like what she said about little bear and Daniel Tiger. I have been wanting to put on little bear for her but I haven’t heard anything good (or bad) about Daniel Tiger until just now in this video.
You sound really defensive
no, just sawtng that there are better options. besides about sn hour t night, i only put on shows when i need my kid to keep still if either of us are sick and cant be running around.
@@mmalenke449
Im not even going to read other comments - but I am hopeful most others share this sentiment: thank you. We've struggled a lot with this and tbh its been one of the most effective ways to keep our home humming in a way that works for us. Our son has absolutely no challenges with alone time/self play (for a 3yo), is imagination is just explosive with creativity, he has absolutely learned from the shows we've allowed and 100% know that he uses it as both a way to exercise some control (picking which episode/show to watch) and means to connect with us. There are, of course, boundaries we put on it (afternoon TV time must be a story - not Blippi or whatever) or no phones for parents while sitting together, etc. We can also tell when we need to set a new boundary because we will all get grouchy with the show roulette when its been too much tv time. I do find it frustrating that you cannot curate the shows across platforms you are okay with in one place so they dont see all the other options :( that is what makes it the hardest for us. No, not that. I literally say "thats a brain garbage show, were not watching that" when its a crack show - and we do try to watch some at night to see for sure, but yeah. ANyways. thanks again :)
I lied - I did just read a comment and +1million to the mamas/dads talking about the benefits for neurodivergent kiddos.