Thank you for sharing. My partner of 10 years just came out as transgender ftm. We have been in a lesbian relationship for that time and the change is scary. It's hard to find any videos from the partners perspective!! Thank you
Bless you my friend, its a hard transition for most couples, it takes a lot of communication. Unfortunately myself and my partner didnt make it, but that was to do with a lot of things that were not all transition based. I know many couples that have made it through and are stronger and more in love than ever. Wishing you both a world of happiness
So candid and genuine. Bless you both in this new journey together. I love how you explain about being made for each other. Life is full of surprises and challenges. Hopefully this journey will be a positive one for both of you!
Thank you so much for this video. It's so raw and real. It's really important to talk about the flip side of people coming out as trans. So much support for you guys!
Thank you so much, it certainly gave me valuable insight. We have now unfortunately split up, not all to do with the trans issue, but it was for the best.
That was so incredibly sensitive in addressing your current issues and I can completely understand your view point- best of luck to you, I will be waiting for updates and wish you well
I feel this. it's as if you're my partner describing to me what my partner's going through. Such a window of insight. I'm sorry that this is happening, not in a way that it's sad Drew is transitioning, just the pain aspect. Thank you for sharing. xx
+Gavriel Garrison It has given me a unique insight thats for sure! We have thankfully moved along a lot since this vlog, its still hard, as Im sure it was for him when I transitioned, but now Im just happy to see him growing into himself and we are finding ways to redefine our relationship and move forward. There are more pluses than negatives, we really do have such a deep knowledge of each other and what the other is going through. We most certainly got together for a reason!
Wonderfully honest vlog Finn, and I do agree you found each other for a reason. You two are certainly made for each other, and have a great future ahead, together. =)
Hi, thanks for sharing these deeply personal feelings. Indeed, I have heard and met several couples who are in relationships where both have transitioned or are transitioning, so at least there is the knowledge that you are definitely not alone. Personally, for such a huge change, I think you are doing fantastically. Also, hello from another trans guy gerbil-owner! My girl was running around in her cage during the first few minutes of your video. Wonder set-up you two have for them.
Yes it is indeed very reassuring to know that there are many couples walking this very complicated path and managing to do it with love and win through. It gives both Drew and I much faith and strength. gerbils are a trans mans best friend! had them for years, love them! They get spoilt, as you can see from their mansion!!! Thank you so much for your kind comments my friend :)
I came out last year as FTM I am married to a cis male . My husband who is a sex addict doesn’t want to touch me sexually . I feel so alone my aunts have disowned me , my cousin on my dad has done that too . Does anyone have any advice how to work on my marriage ?
So much respect for you Finn, to be able to be so honest and open about this experience. Not only are your feelings valid, they're also very understandable and relatable - I haven't experienced anything like this, but imagining being in your shoes I think I would be feeling many of the same things. Transition is exhausting, straight passing privilege is a peaceful relief to let go of, and coping with the implications your partner's identity unavoidably has for your own identity is so complex and difficult. I think mostly I would be scared of losing my best friend. But it's clear to me, even from a distance, just how unlikely it is that your closeness and bond will be broken after all you've been through together as a partnership. A good friend of mine wrote in a poem once something I think is quite fitting for you and Drew: "We have metaphysical string tied in a deep full bow between us. And it's made of silverwood. Elastic and firm. It swims and freezes but it unties, never." sending you both lots of love, take care of yourselves and eachother
That is so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing that with me. Yes, we are incredibly close, he is my everything and I am indeed worried that our dynamic might change and Ill lose the person he is. I know he had the same concerns with my transition, and our relationship has only improved, so I have faith that it will happen again with his transition. Thank you so much for your really kind and thoughtful comments
Thank you for sharing, once again, your raw feelings. As long as you both stay truthful and respectful of each others feelngs, wants and needs you two will come through this with strength, admiration of each other and vision to continue forward. Everyone has an opinion, but what is going to be is only between the two of you. When certain emotions occur that make you feel guilty or selfish, hold true to them, but stay in the present. Try not to allow to much, 'future' emotion grip you. You're an incredable person, continue to let Light guide you. Prayers and positive thoughts to the both of you as you each walk your own incrediable journey! Take Care My Friend
Thank you so much Ethan, the guilt is the hardest to handle, but knowing that Drew went through the exact same feelings, and resolved them , really helps. Its an incredible situation to be in! I am working hard to stay present and in the moment and trust the unfolding to take care of itself as long as I take care of the now. Bless you my friend :)
Transition is exhausting, I agree with you. I sometimes wonder why I feel so tired, and then I remember what I've been through. Lol. BUT! You're such a strong person, Finn. Look at everything you've come through. You've done that, and you can do this too. Love to you both. - Joshua
It's great to hear and see talk so openly about how you're feeling and being conscious about the fact that to all positives there are also less positive feelings about starting a whole new process. I wish you both the best!
You opened a door for him, that's awesome. I wish I had someone like that in my life, I'm much too timid in many respects to actually do what's right, I'm like one of these horses who alwways need another horse to go in front, and it's ok to get on a trailer or through a gate...;weird comparison, I know, but that's just what I thought; anyways, great for you guy, you'll be going from strength to strength...;and good to see your gerbils have plenty of bedding;)))
I love a good analogy! Your horse one is fab! Very true too. We all need horses at times, and we all get to be horses in others lives! Thanks my friend. And yes our furry children are spoiled :-D
I can feel your anguish, Finn. What I have also observed in your videos is the love you two share. My wish for you both is that you continue your respectful,sensitive and empathetic truth-telling and you'll come through all of this beautifully. Sending warm love from the USA.
I have a boyfriend (who is a transman) and he identifies as being straight. I've told him that I identify as bigender and he accepts this. However, I've been thinking about being a transman myself. I'm extremely worried he won't want to be with me any longer if I tell him. I'm wondering if I should just ignore it?
Hi my friend, being transgender is not something we choose, its something we are . If you truly feel you are male you wont be able to ignore it as the pain of trying to live as someone you are not will be too much. I would suggest talking with your boyfriend about this as he has been through this himself and will understand
Hugs, thanks for sharing how you're feeling about the changes you're experiencing now with Drew transitioning and how your relationship is growing as well. Chin up pet.
I am watching this video almost exactly a year after you posted it. It seems in your latest videos that some of these fears and questions have been somewhat resolved...is that true? Are you feeling more at peace with the changes?
+friendoftherese1 I am indeed. I think watching him really settling into himself helps as I just feel so much joy watching him. Im loving his early changes so far and I dont feel any less attracted or in love with him. I still have concerns about both of our struggles with having the gay label forced upon us, I think that is our biggest hurdle right now but apart from that we are doing so much better than I think both of us thought we would be at this time frame
hi my friend. we don't have children. I'd quite like to later on and Drew is still thinking about it! we have a lot to do before we are ready and have the means to look after little ones :-D
I just stumbled onto your channel and was really interested how you are dealing with both of your transitions. I am a M-F (done over 20 years ago) and married to a wonderful man that originally started out as my wife. Six months after we were married my, now husband, came out and said that he had always felt male. Didn't see that coming. We married prior to my SRS. I fully understand the feelings that you are now having but with the love that you obviously have for each other you will get through this. Communication is the key.
Thats such a wonderful story! I am glad you are both happy! Unfortunately my partner and I recently split, it wasnt all gender related though, there were other things at play.
I fell in love with a girl, then they came out as trans.. I'm a lesbian and feeling trapped, have done for 5 years now, it's honestly selfish! Not to transition, I'm happy for him but to think a lesbian is fine dating a guy! Today I told him it's over, thank gosh!
He can come out but you have every right to leave as if you are only into girls then you aren’t forced to find a him attractive anymore. If he wants to be a man then he can’t be mad that you view him as a man.
Thank you for sharing. My partner of 10 years just came out as transgender ftm. We have been in a lesbian relationship for that time and the change is scary. It's hard to find any videos from the partners perspective!! Thank you
Bless you my friend, its a hard transition for most couples, it takes a lot of communication. Unfortunately myself and my partner didnt make it, but that was to do with a lot of things that were not all transition based. I know many couples that have made it through and are stronger and more in love than ever. Wishing you both a world of happiness
So candid and genuine. Bless you both in this new journey together. I love how you explain about being made for each other. Life is full of surprises and challenges. Hopefully this journey will be a positive one for both of you!
Such lovely comments, thank you so very much my friend!
Thank you so much for this video. It's so raw and real. It's really important to talk about the flip side of people coming out as trans. So much support for you guys!
Thank you so much, it certainly gave me valuable insight. We have now unfortunately split up, not all to do with the trans issue, but it was for the best.
That was so incredibly sensitive in addressing your current issues and I can completely understand your view point- best of luck to you, I will be waiting for updates and wish you well
Thank you so much, unfortunately me and my partner split up, not due to trans issues, we just came to the end of our time together.
I feel this. it's as if you're my partner describing to me what my partner's going through. Such a window of insight. I'm sorry that this is happening, not in a way that it's sad Drew is transitioning, just the pain aspect. Thank you for sharing. xx
+Gavriel Garrison It has given me a unique insight thats for sure! We have thankfully moved along a lot since this vlog, its still hard, as Im sure it was for him when I transitioned, but now Im just happy to see him growing into himself and we are finding ways to redefine our relationship and move forward. There are more pluses than negatives, we really do have such a deep knowledge of each other and what the other is going through. We most certainly got together for a reason!
Breaks my heart to see you struggle emotionally. Retro hugs from the US ❤
Bless u. This is an old vlog now and thankfully lve made sense of a lot of things since then!
You are attracted to girls how can there be a sexual attraction to a man when you like girls / femininity
I was in a lot of denial back then! My more up to date videos explain a lot of this
great video! Thank you.
Thanks mate!
Wonderfully honest vlog Finn, and I do agree you found each other for a reason. You two are certainly made for each other, and have a great future ahead, together. =)
Bless you Sam, thank you :) :)
Hi, thanks for sharing these deeply personal feelings. Indeed, I have heard and met several couples who are in relationships where both have transitioned or are transitioning, so at least there is the knowledge that you are definitely not alone. Personally, for such a huge change, I think you are doing fantastically. Also, hello from another trans guy gerbil-owner! My girl was running around in her cage during the first few minutes of your video. Wonder set-up you two have for them.
Yes it is indeed very reassuring to know that there are many couples walking this very complicated path and managing to do it with love and win through. It gives both Drew and I much faith and strength. gerbils are a trans mans best friend! had them for years, love them! They get spoilt, as you can see from their mansion!!! Thank you so much for your kind comments my friend :)
I came out last year as FTM I am married to a cis male . My husband who is a sex addict doesn’t want to touch me sexually . I feel so alone my aunts have disowned me , my cousin on my dad has done that too .
Does anyone have any advice how to work on my marriage ?
So much respect for you Finn, to be able to be so honest and open about this experience. Not only are your feelings valid, they're also very understandable and relatable - I haven't experienced anything like this, but imagining being in your shoes I think I would be feeling many of the same things. Transition is exhausting, straight passing privilege is a peaceful relief to let go of, and coping with the implications your partner's identity unavoidably has for your own identity is so complex and difficult. I think mostly I would be scared of losing my best friend. But it's clear to me, even from a distance, just how unlikely it is that your closeness and bond will be broken after all you've been through together as a partnership. A good friend of mine wrote in a poem once something I think is quite fitting for you and Drew: "We have metaphysical string tied in a deep full bow between us. And it's made of silverwood. Elastic and firm. It swims and freezes but it unties, never." sending you both lots of love, take care of yourselves and eachother
That is so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing that with me. Yes, we are incredibly close, he is my everything and I am indeed worried that our dynamic might change and Ill lose the person he is. I know he had the same concerns with my transition, and our relationship has only improved, so I have faith that it will happen again with his transition. Thank you so much for your really kind and thoughtful comments
Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you for sharing, once again, your raw feelings. As long as you both stay truthful and respectful of each others feelngs, wants and needs you two will come through this with strength, admiration of each other and vision to continue forward. Everyone has an opinion, but what is going to be is only between the two of you. When certain emotions occur that make you feel guilty or selfish, hold true to them, but stay in the present. Try not to allow to much, 'future' emotion grip you.
You're an incredable person, continue to let Light guide you. Prayers and positive thoughts to the both of you as you each walk your own incrediable journey! Take Care My Friend
Thank you so much Ethan, the guilt is the hardest to handle, but knowing that Drew went through the exact same feelings, and resolved them , really helps. Its an incredible situation to be in! I am working hard to stay present and in the moment and trust the unfolding to take care of itself as long as I take care of the now. Bless you my friend :)
Some good points.
The comment you weren't expecting, until you mentioned I wasn't noticing Kevin the Hampster playing in the background.
Lol thats Jerry the gerbil :)
Transition is exhausting, I agree with you. I sometimes wonder why I feel so tired, and then I remember what I've been through. Lol. BUT! You're such a strong person, Finn. Look at everything you've come through. You've done that, and you can do this too. Love to you both. - Joshua
It is isnt it!!! Thanks so much Joshua :)
It's great to hear and see talk so openly about how you're feeling and being conscious about the fact that to all positives there are also less positive feelings about starting a whole new process. I wish you both the best!
Thank you so much my friend. With every passing day i am finding more and more positives and the acceptance is unfolding.
You opened a door for him, that's awesome. I wish I had someone like that in my life, I'm much too timid in many respects to actually do what's right, I'm like one of these horses who alwways need another horse to go in front, and it's ok to get on a trailer or through a gate...;weird comparison, I know, but that's just what I thought; anyways, great for you guy, you'll be going from strength to strength...;and good to see your gerbils have plenty of bedding;)))
I love a good analogy! Your horse one is fab! Very true too. We all need horses at times, and we all get to be horses in others lives! Thanks my friend. And yes our furry children are spoiled :-D
I can feel your anguish, Finn. What I have also observed in your videos is the love you two share. My wish for you both is that you continue your respectful,sensitive and empathetic truth-telling and you'll come through all of this beautifully. Sending warm love from the USA.
bless you my kind friend that means the world to us both
I have a boyfriend (who is a transman) and he identifies as being straight. I've told him that I identify as bigender and he accepts this. However, I've been thinking about being a transman myself. I'm extremely worried he won't want to be with me any longer if I tell him. I'm wondering if I should just ignore it?
Hi my friend, being transgender is not something we choose, its something we are . If you truly feel you are male you wont be able to ignore it as the pain of trying to live as someone you are not will be too much. I would suggest talking with your boyfriend about this as he has been through this himself and will understand
Hugs, thanks for sharing how you're feeling about the changes you're experiencing now with Drew transitioning and how your relationship is growing as well. Chin up pet.
Thank you so much my friend :-D
I am watching this video almost exactly a year after you posted it. It seems in your latest videos that some of these fears and questions have been somewhat resolved...is that true? Are you feeling more at peace with the changes?
+friendoftherese1 I am indeed. I think watching him really settling into himself helps as I just feel so much joy watching him. Im loving his early changes so far and I dont feel any less attracted or in love with him. I still have concerns about both of our struggles with having the gay label forced upon us, I think that is our biggest hurdle right now but apart from that we are doing so much better than I think both of us thought we would be at this time frame
I think you were made for each other. Time will be your friend and stay positive. :o)
Bless you. You are right!
Thanks for sharing and love the jumper!
Ah thanks my friend! yes, this christmas jumper will be worn all year!!
Thanks for sharing. It is important topics to talk about and be open about.
Thanks my friend, thats very very true
do y'all have any kids or anything. or maybe even thinking about it?
hi my friend. we don't have children. I'd quite like to later on and Drew is still thinking about it! we have a lot to do before we are ready and have the means to look after little ones :-D
I just stumbled onto your channel and was really interested how you are dealing with both of your transitions. I am a M-F (done over 20 years ago) and married to a wonderful man that originally started out as my wife. Six months after we were married my, now husband, came out and said that he had always felt male. Didn't see that coming. We married prior to my SRS. I fully understand the feelings that you are now having but with the love that you obviously have for each other you will get through this. Communication is the key.
Thats such a wonderful story! I am glad you are both happy! Unfortunately my partner and I recently split, it wasnt all gender related though, there were other things at play.
Sorry to hear that......things have a habit of working out for the best in the end.
You were obviously meant to be very introspective in this lifetime.
+idealist4life I think you could be right! :)
Awesome star wars sweater!
+idealist4life Thank yu! :)
I fell in love with a girl, then they came out as trans.. I'm a lesbian and feeling trapped, have done for 5 years now, it's honestly selfish! Not to transition, I'm happy for him but to think a lesbian is fine dating a guy! Today I told him it's over, thank gosh!
He can come out but you have every right to leave as if you are only into girls then you aren’t forced to find a him attractive anymore. If he wants to be a man then he can’t be mad that you view him as a man.
I can understand that totally.