A very important one: Learn how to say no! All my life, my rule is, if you ask me something, and no is an optional answer, that's usually what you're going to hear! If you're the "God of NO" like I am, then you say no without an explanation! No is ALWAYS the safe answer! You want to keep getting royally screwed in life, keep saying yes! It's easier to say too because it has one less letter in it! Whatever I'm asked, if it inconveniences me in ANY way, it's a guaranteed NO! People don't like it, don't ask, and believe me, they don't!
It was rude of them to ask you to watch their child without you not knowing her and her not knowing you. However, maybe they saw you as a trustworthy person???
@@fightthebully3331 Agree. It depends on the situation. We can't be self-centered all the time when certain circumstances call for a little inconvenience on our part.
As a 58 year old woman living with Stage 4 breast cancer, it becomes very clear what is important. What makes people interesting is being their authentic selves. I could care less what people think of me. The only thing that matters to me is my relationship with God, my health and ability to do things that bring me joy, my boyfriend and his kids. I work for those things and only those things. I am not angry with people, I simply have given up on caring what they think.
Sorry Debbie to hear about your illness I will be praying for you it looks like you are on the right track I am in the same situation with a bad Heart and other stuff and it has helped me zero in on what’s most important I hope the best for you ❤😊
I am not making this up people. I stopped watching the news as much as possible. Especially the National News and anything going on in Washington D.C. My blood pressure has come down a little. I am not upset or keyed up like I used to be. Try this for a week and see if I'm wrong.
this book was a life changer. i just read news now if Im bored not for a sense of being "aware" of whats going on in the "world". Stop Reading the News: A Manifesto for a Happier, Calmer and Wiser Life a.co/d/hgYq55f
I am better off not worrying about what I look like from behind while cycling. I am a large woman, and I don't fucking care what the car behind me sees. I am out there trying to set an example for others my size or my age (45) who are wondering whether cycling is for them. I picked it right back up after 25 years of driving, and I have never been happier. I still have my car, but it stays parked far more than it's in motion now. Worrying about how large my ass is in relation to the size of my bicycle seat is for someone else. I don't care. I just want the feeling of wind on my face, smelling the gorgeous scented flowers, and passing the world by on a much slower basis than I ever have before. My life is the better for it.
My mother was so much like this. I've listened to her narcissistic (she was formally diagnosed by a specialist) ranting about all kinds of stuff since I was a child. But this particular day I'd had enough. She was spewing vitriol about some random woman in a store we were passing and how she was "too big" to be wearing that particular dress. So I said, "wow, this has really upset you, hasn't it", to which there was more insane ranting about the woman's dress. So I told my mum in a sincere and gentle voice, "you should go in there right now and tell her that her size and her dress upsets you and she needs to go home and change immediately." Well, that shut her up good and proper lol. It took a few years of me saying stuff like that to calm her insane narc ranting in my company. Now she only makes vague comments but the vitriol is still there. That's why I stay away from her even though she's only a 20 min drive from my place.
@@centuryfreud You present yourself differently and get treated differently. Why does that seem dumb? Do you expect to get treated the same way no matter how you present yourself?
My neighbor once asked me to take their dog for a week in July. I don't have pets. I immediately thought about my hardwood floors, about picking up poop, about how I'd be unable to take off for an overnight beach trip on the weekend if I wanted to, so I said "No." Offered to water their plants, but not dog-sit. Not for a week at a clean, pet-free house. Our so-called friendship was over! Or, let's say, she fired me from my caretaker position. I guess I was getting paid in social opportunities? Bye.
When I was young my favorite band was The Ramones. I also loved The Doors, Pink Floyd… As a black girl, I was bullied mercilessly because of my taste in music. Now I’m super old and so glad that I learned early to embrace what brings me joy and not give a fuck about judgement from the haters. Now I rock my gray hair with two blue buns, a Megadeath tee shirt and high top Vans - and no one dares to comment.
I love your thinking - I'm a 62-year-old man and I wish I'd thought like you at your age - it took me until I was about 55 before I stopped caring about lots of stuff. I started vlogging a couple of months ago and some people have laughed, but hey! I'm having fun so why should I care what they think? I love your channel. Good on ya!
I was exactly the same James when I was young. God I feel more relaxed now I don't care anymore about what people think. We can't control it. So why care 😃👍
It took me till age 55 also. I'm now 57, and I feel as though it's only now that I'm finally living my true life. I also wish I had had her mindset when I was younger.
When I married and in my 20s, I suffered a lot of anxiety by accommodating impositions from family members I didn't even get along with. Once I got a little older, and finally said, "no", I felt a great relief. Life was much better when I set boundaries based on honesty and self-respect.
I've been similar things, regarding a narcissistic, demanding, inconsiderate father. He didn't like my "nos", but I am feeling so much better and stronger since I learned to stand up to him.
I went from an expensive Audi to a 2003 VW Beetle. The number of times I have been made fun of is ridiculous. Some of my friends have even felt embarrassed about it which makes me laugh. I don't care and I actually love the car because it's mine. It's paid for and I don't have any debt attached to it. I will never understand how people can feel that way about someone else car. But that is their problem. Not mine.
I drive around town in my 2006 Hyundai Accent. I read that it's supposed to be a first car for young drivers. When I go to wine tastings at my well to do friend's houses, I drive my more respectable 2017 Subaru Outback. It just looks better in their nice neighborhoods, but I'm not sure they care. Actually, my wine collection is worth more than my two cars, and my house is quite modest. Just do what you want, and others can deal with it.
Hey Cars from the 90s till the 2010s are the best cars ever. Those who make fun of dont have a clue about cars. I still roll with my 1999 Honda-HRV to the companies parking lot where Teslas, and BMWs dominate.
My dog and his care come before anything. I don’t care what people think of it. People judge me for staying home with him instead of hanging it with them. I won’t ever be sorry for it.
Same. I've always missed my pets when I'm out. Once my party 20s were over, staying home with my pets is preferable over most activities that will take me away for more than 5 or so hours.
Your pup will always remain loyal to you and forever be your best friend.. friends and ppl come and go; they can switch up like a light bulb. Never be sorry for this. Stay true to you.. you worn regret the time spent w your best friend doggie💗💟🤍
@@accuratealloys The difference is a good human can drive you home and care for you after surgery or sickness or chemo...help when things are rough. A dog cannot help you in a pinch the way a human can. Good humans that you can trust are worth the most, because someday if we live long enough we all will end up in some sort of health drama. However if you have lots of money to pay people to attend to you, then of course you don't need to have a support network of humans as much.
I'm 69 and enjoy working out, sleeping every night in a hammock, riding motorcycles, camping once every week, living alone and walking. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
I can relate to the person asking for an overnight. I am reclusive. I don't like people in my house, not even my sons when they come to visit. A friend has been begging me to let her come help me, but I would literally rather take a month to do something myself than to let her come in. It feels like an invasion when people are in my house. I get out of it by saying "My house isn't set up for guests, since I live here alone. There is no place for anyone to sit," which is true. People tell me I should get a couch or some more chairs, but I think I keep it this way so I don't have to have anyone in here.
That would be a bit over the top for me. I love living by myself and the privacy. Except when friends come to stay I tell them the house is all yours, relax and do whatever you feel like without asking. For me a house is just a house, is just a house. I keep mine clean and tight but could really care less. It's just a roof with running water and electricity.
Privacy is a thing sure, but getting all disturbed while your own very son comes for a visit is just next level. Why have a kid to begin with? Spot a narcs mom.
I put up anti-homeless architecture in my apartment such as spikes covering everywhere a person could sit or god forbid might lie down . Also only got one dish,, one cup and a spork, so noone thinks of eating over.
Fellow night own here, and I refuse to wake up for a 9-5. Good for you for tailoring your life to your schedule! People become miserably unhappy trying to fit into moulds that society tries to make for them. Love your videos- keep it up your killing it!
Nicole, I have watched three of your videos now and I must say you are one of the wisest young persons I have ever listened to. I am 87 years old. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to hear more from you.
I have always lived my life on my own terms. From a young age I never worried about what other people thought. I always take the path that is best for me. Never worried about fitting in with what other people did. Peer pressure is a downfall for many people.
I did the same but my parents disowned me, and they had a fortune. I will always love them but I still get scared they're mad at me in the next life. I became Catholic, was sweet, and had 4 kids. A flop to my folks.
One thing I've learned over the decades is that what other people think of me is none of my business. Trying to do anything to please others is playing a game you can never win because everyone has a different take on you so your points are on target. We have so many posers in society trying to portray themselves as something they aren't which is nothing more than acting. It takes immense energy to keep up the charade with is exhausting. Once you let all that go you feel far lighter, more authentic and happier. It's called your true self.
I love listening to your perspectives. I definitely needed to hear “work is not your real life, go home” I need to hear that every morning as a reminder to separate my personal life from work
Oooh. You caught me on the work drama one. I am so guilty of this. I spend my days and sleepless nights agonizing over the fact that I don't think anyone at work likes me. That I don't fit in. That I'm seen as inept when I'm trying my best to do all of the tasks assigned to me, which is a seemingly impossible goal and I feel not good enough and so threatened and insecure.
You're on the verge of enlightenment, my friend. In fact, you've already taken the biggest and most difficult step. Becoming self-aware. We carry our neuroses around with us as if they were precious and apply them to whatever circumstances we're in or whatever people we find ourselves around. The good news is by owning this it becomes one of the things we can change!
I loved Mark Manson's book. I think age helps with these 8 things. As you get older and wiser, you realise that some things just aren't worth worrying about it. Boundaries with people, drama and not caring what they think of me, are definitely high on that list. And I totally agree - the internet is not the place for arguments. :)
Nicole, I ran across your RUclips videos today and I must say your views and opinions are like a breath of fresh air. I wish I had your views when I was younger; they would have saved me a lot of grief. Thank you for sharing. 😊
Nicole, you are correct. I have worked in customer facing roles for nearly forty years. I care enough to do my job well. But once I step foot out of the door it's all about my life. I hope one day people will realise that they are mostly invisible to everybody else. I have been single now for the last six years, no-one notices me, no one cares, and I live a simple, happy and free life. I hope this message finds you well. 'There is more to life, than increasing its speed.' Ghandi
You're the exception but a majority of people judge you based on the car/phone/clothes/money you have. I used to drive beater cars. People would think I'm poor, going to steal something, etc. It's amazing how I get treated when I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car. It's dumb but that's reality. Loved your "internet guru" piece - soooooo true.
Everything you said was spot on and you put it very well. I agree 100%. I'm 65, and it took a long time for me to learn these types of things, but I'm so much happier now. I've had a few people comment on how I dress because I always wear t-shirts or sweatshirts, jeans, and sneakers. I tell them if they don't like it then don't look at me. I don't need or want to be like everyone else, I just want to be myself. I always remember a quote from Kurt Cobain "They laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they are all the same".
I stopped caring what people think when I go to bed early. Unlike you I am a morning person, I like to get up early and gets lots done before I start my day Job (no green smoothies either) but by 9pm I am done and love to go to bed early, read, watch you tube etc. however it’s tricky when spending time with night owls as they are like .what! You are going to bed already! Yup .night night lol😂
Wow! Love this video. As I am getting older, I really don’t care about what people think about me. I have 2 autistic sons and we don’t have the same lifestyle as others and we don’t care: we are a happy family and we love each other.
I recently saw this sign on the London Underground... “ Dogs Must Be Carried At All Times When Using This Escalator” Anyway...I looked around and it took me about 40 minutes to find a dog...and so I carried it up the escalator as instructed. The dog was very puzzled...and so was I...But neither of us cared anyway.
Love this video! Just what I need! I'm 58. As a younger person, I had no boundaries. I came from a violent home life and was tossed out in the world to fend for myself. Not good in school, without skills, I fell to hard labor, washing dishes, building basements with heavy concrete blocks, construction labor, etc. And everyone treated me like crap. I was a loner with no social skills. I could not say no to anyone. Everyone was my boss. Early on, especially in the workplace, I had to get hard and start telling folks to buzz off and really mean it. Which I did. Now, I'm a winner... with no social skills. But I'm a big, strong guy and I'm really good at doing dirty jobs. People like me don't need social skills honed to a fine edge. Who even wants them?! I made a living cleaning up construction sites, throwing drunk fools out of strip clubs and casinos for years, fighting, scrapping, skirmishing. I came out of 20+ years of it unscathed. I like doing dirty jobs. And I'm great at it. Yes. But that doesn't mean you get to treat me like dirt. No way. Unfortunately, that is how people look at you when you are a great dirty job doer. Let them look. I don't care. And, no, I'm not here to do YOUR dirty work for you. Do it yourself--or PAY UP! WAY UP! At 58, I'm still powerfully built, healthy, capable and... people know it. The fat, lazy slobs and entitled women in my workplace want to latch onto me and get me doing their dirty work for them to this day. But now I know how to handle it. I know how to say, "If I do this for you, what'cha gonna do for me, Sweetie?" Or, "I'm not available." Or, "It's not my job." Or, "Continue seeking me out and trying to aggravate me and I'll have you standing tall before your supervisor and HR." Or, I just ignore them completely. One of the higher ups (has her own office--not a cubicle) passed by me as I was finishing up a window cleaning job outdoors and smiled, saying, "Wow! You really know how to clean windows! That's amazing! And you make it look so easy! I'm going to have you come to my home one of these weekends and work your magic on MY windows!" Notice, Dear Reader, she hadn't ASKED nor INQUIRED, but just said it as a matter of fact, as though the choice was hers alone. I was immediately offended. I responded, "Yes, it's true, I'm good at what I do, likely the best there is, and I do have my own little cleaning company for occasions like these. But unfortunately for you, I don't clean residential, but commercial only. Plus, I doubt you would be able to afford me." At that, she turned red, lowered her gaze and frowned. She hissed and snorted at me and stormed off. Hasn't talked to me since. I'm OK with that. Nonetheless, I am a caring person and I want to be helpful. It drives me to madness that people are so lazy and inconsiderate--and just plain cruel. It's not that I can't be reasoned with nor bargained with, but, as the video teaches, there is a point where I simply need to pull the plug on certain people, places and things and just stop caring.
Sounds like that lady was just trying to give you a compliment and make lighthearted conversation and you took it seriously. I don’t think she actually wanted you to come to her house and clean her windows. Lots of people say “I’m gonna have to have you do that for me” as a way of compliment at a skill someone has with something.
@@makdem4603 I know what you mean. I'm receptive to that sort of compliment. But this clearly wasn't that sort of compliment. She was being condescending, a smart-ass. I typically ignore them, but I didn't let this one slide.
This was excellent. I'm a retired brick layer/custom home builder. Sure, I can fix anything, inspect anything. But I won't. I only help little old ladies in stress and I never charge them what it's really worth. But that whole assumption "oh you can do this or that because your a big ol strong guy not afraid to get dirty" Naw, Go F yourself!
I am in the process of giving people their space to feel and think what they want, without commenting. Also, tied into that is setting boundaries when others feel it’s necessary to comment on my choices.
I worked at a stressful shitty factory job for 20 yrs with 6 guys on our shift. After a rough night we are about to go home and the old leader guy that I liked told me, Gary I don't think you'd care if the sun came up in the morning. I was a little shocked and wondered how he could feel that from me. He was pretty much right. Sucked at work and sucked at home. Great the sun is coming up, and I get to do this all over again after 12 hrs off....
@@nolamar1 It was a negative. He sensed I was a little depressed with work and probably my home life. Doing the same old shit every day, a battle at work and at home, and for what? To do it all over again the next day. or until I made a major change in my life. Hopefully you make better choices in your life so you can avoid getting stuck in a rut like I did.
Oh my god you really hit the nail on the head with this video. Specifically with the part about why anyone cares what I do with my life. WTH? I live my life quietly and to the best of my ability, yet so many people feel ENTITLED to judge me and how I act, what I do, and how I appear to them. I have never approached life like that so this has really thrown me off at times. Where does this crusader mentality come from?
The problem is that nowadays lots of companies try to convince you that your job IS your life and a company and your coworkers ARE your family. Some can stalk you on the social network during working day and make you account for the things you write on yor personal page even if it's not about company, even if you haven't signed the document (there is no even one in the company) that forbid you to post anything in your personal account or to use your phone. And sometimes people come after job too much emotionally sucked to meet the friends or do hobbies, especially those who are working with people.
OK thank you I needed to hear Work is not my whole life. I’ve actually got a new job at the job I’ve been in I took because it’s work from home. I’m in the medical field and dealing with nasty patients and micromanaged boss telling me I’m not good enough has really gotten to me to the point of like a nervous break down. I really need to read that book and keep repeating work is not life work is not life thank you.❤❤❤
Thank you for mentioning the “other peoples business” one! I can think of a couple things in particular that certain members of our society need to grow TF up about lol. I find that when someone doesn’t “understand” a certain lifestyle, they become uncomfortable and then get all mad about it instead of letting it go and letting people live their life
On the topic of setting boundaries, a good friend once told me, "'No.' is a complete sentence." Their point is that there's no need to explain oneself when declining a request or setting a boundary. I love that and try to implement it in my own life. Really appreciate your perspective, Nicole. I found your channel recently, and I've been watching a bunch.
I refuse requests to borrow my things since a number of times it is forgotten to be returned. All it did was piss me off, loss it's use and cost me money and friends.
Exactly, adnm it's exactly why my things last so much longer too. No-one is allowed to even touch them. Also, many are never ready to be accountable to pay/compensate (or even apologize) if they lose or damage my stuff.
Great advice! I totally agree that work is work, but I struggle with forgetting about it when I clock out. I work in hospitality, and if there's been a difficult guest, I go over and over what went wrong etc etc. I wish I could park it up.
One of the things I've adopted over the years is ALWAYS issuing invitations or requests by email (if they have it) and not by phone. Email doesn't put them on the spot the way a phone conversation does. They can think about it and give me a response whenever they are ready to. PLUS I always say, 'If that doesn't sound like something you want to do, just say no. You don't need to give me a reason. We're fine, whatever you say." And I MEAN it. As for me, I have little to no problem saying 'no' to things that don't hit me right. But then, I'm old, and-trust me- not giving a rat's arse gets easier as you get older!
Awesome video! I love the way your dog transports himself from his bed to couch several times by teleportation! I agree with all of your points and have always lived this way. I don't know why people get all twittered by the things they do!
I look forward to your videos every Sunday morning!!! I just realized this Friday how some of us are natural born savers and others are natural born spenders! I had lunch with some coworkers and I ordered the lunch special which was plenty of food and delicious! And others are ordering a bunch of appetizers and bottles of wine! When the waitress wanted to take the menus one guy said he was going to hold on to his cause he was still thinking about ordering even more food! And he did! Of course when the bill comes they just want to split it evenly! I’ll be skipping lunch with these butt holes moving forward!
Next time, ask for separate checks, at the beginning of the order. I have been there and done that before and did not care who was offended. Just like you, the same scenario happened to me. Good luck next time and don’t let coworkers squash your need to socialize.😉
I love your attitude and I love your videos. I’m in my 60s and I have zero tolerance anymore for people’s self generated drama and chaos. Which is probably why I have no friends. I can spot the drama queens from a mile away. I wish I had been more like you when I was your age, but I’m pretty happy where I am now. Getting older and not giving a f*ck is very liberating. And I don’t at all mean that in a nasty or negative way, simply that we each must live in a way that is authentic for us. ❤
Honestly when you have gone to school long enough to be a doctor or lawyer, that career becomes a part of you. I enjoy lawyering even at home, checking the online portals for our company and getting ready for court in my off-time. It IS my calling and my real life. Even if I wasn’t trying to grow my nest egg, I would be bored if I didn’t have cases. I’ve tried that and I watched too much tv when I wasn’t utilizing my lizard lawyer brain.
I've been a minimalist many moons now. It's one of the best things I've ever done besides my 52 year old son. I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would pay all that $$$ to wear and advertise for any company some do think I'm not a little but some kind of different and I always respond with thank you for the compliment.
I agree 100% with all your points. I have been getting very good at not giving a F what people think, for a long time. It’s great not trying to wonder or assume what others might be thinking. I’m just loving my life and don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about it.
I have a 100k car, I’m a driving enthusiast. It was a long term goal and kept me inspired to grow and to make wise decisions to get to a place that I could do that. It’s a dull grey color to not draw attention. I don’t post it on social media or go around telling people. So it’s one of those exceptions. Now I need to dream again, to move away closer to nature and leave the rat race.
100% agree. Perhaps the difference with me is that I never cared about any of these things. As a little kid I thought, “If someone doesn’t like me because of something I like or don’t like, then I’m probably not going to care about them.”
i always feel a sense of pride knowing that i managed to live comfortably and was able to buy a home while making a fraction of what most people make. it sickens me a bit to see people living in $1million homes, driving $125k BMW's making $250k a year and still they're living paycheck to paycheck because they own nothing, the banks own everything they present as their wealth. if i can't afford something, i don't buy it, it's that simple.
I love the 4th idea. I often think about how I’m expecting to like or dislike something because of my race, or roll with the status quo with my race on social issues.
Again! you nailed it all Nicole 👏👏👏agreed with all the points I might add if anyone chooses to love and care for there pet as family they should be praised not Ridiculed😇. Love love love to you and your pet❣️
I sure need that reminder that " work is not my real life." And arguing with people we dont even know online is truly a waste of time and energy. I make my point and leave it at that.
To your last point, in the last few years, I have 'discovered' symphonic metal and I am captivated by it. I am 71 and suppose that some would think that I am odd or out of orbit. Too bad - I listen to it when I work out and my favorite band energizes me and gives me pause to think as their lyrics are all about real emotions... You are a free bird - keep flying!
Yes I have been working on setting boundaries. Its hard because I was brought up to not rock the boat. Stupid. So telling someone no is rocking the boat. 🤦♀️ This was a great list, I work in supermarket at the Deli and I find it hard to deal with the amount of rude (both directly and indirectly) people. Some days are better than others.
You shouldn't have any relationships from acquaintances to partners where you cannot say no. I try to work out what a rude person is actually trying to communicate which gives you mentally a way of stepping back from an emotional response because they have you on the back foot from then onwards. It's usually attention seeking or someone didn't listen to me earlier or was rude to me so I'm going to dump this on you now. Just you not allowing yourself to be put on the back foot can make a difference in some situations.
Just remember this and this is actually quite true: Setting boundaries makes other people respect you...and makes YOU respect you. The other people may bitch and moan but...they actually will find themselves oddly respecting you. They may never tell you or show that but trust me, it's there. And tell me truthfully a good, solid "no" isn't satisfying? At all? C'mon!
Love this Nicole especially the one about saying no! I have gotten myself in some predicaments over the years cause I was too scared to just tell them no❤️❤️
As a mechanic i get it all the time, and being too nice to say no it was getting to the point where i didnt even get a weekend, every car or truck issue was my issue because shops are "so expensive". But recently iv started saying "oh your a chef ?" Are you gonna come to my house and cook my meals ? Then why am i doing ur brakes in ur driveway ? And thats somehow ok to ask. No is now my favorite word.
Basicaly ,what your saying is, You live your life your way, and let others do the same. Who gives a S""t what people think. Great opinion, Great video.
Wow. That first example was really wild. Who would ask something like that? I mean if it was more of a business exchange to be a temporary bnb for this one time, fine. But then asking "friends" to pay money for their step kid to say over is sketchy in its own area without that person offering a cash incentive in the first place. Just an awkward situation all around.
@@AccordingtoNicole Your response had been quite a bit better than mine would have. I might have re-contemplated my whole relationship with that person and replied with something very creepy and off-putting in hopes that they would have been the ones to back off first and never tried to cross that road again. Just kinda hard to do that in todays woke day-in-age tho. Jokes being Jokes and all that some people get to stiff about. Hey, anyone remember Mitch Hedberg. What a dude.
Great video. The point on work drama is spot on and the fact is coworkers are not your friends. Best to keep your personal and professional lives separate, don't bring your personal issues to work and your work issues to your personal life. On boundaries, absolutely correct! I used to put up rude requests from people I really didn't know all that well. Thanks goodness I have gotten better at telling people to go f' themselves. Anyone who creates drama or is a drama enabler is managed out of my life. Looking poor and inconspicuous also helps keep people away.
Work is not your real life when all you have is a JOB - but it can be your everything if you have a profession, a passion that you are following. I think this is what many young people are missing, its the cause for not giving more at work. I am in a profession - I live my work 24x7 and love it.
I could have made this video but called it things I learned by the time I was 60…. It’s great that you are there 30 years before me! The one thing I don’t agree on is work and sucking it up. Don’t suck it up, find a way to change it if your work or colleagues make you miserable. We spend a lot of our precious time at work so don’t put up with endless crap. I finally went self employed in my 50s and I’ve never been happier.
We go through so much meaningless interactions with people that have little impact or value to our lives. I looooooooove your honesty and your channel ❤.
The bit about arriving at your wealthy clients in your ordinary car made me think of Columbo in his old raincoat and banger of a car but soon got respect
I agree with all 8 of your points 100%. You are wise beyond your years to have realized all this at such a young age. I'm 65 and the best thing ever is being who I am no matter what.
I have mostly been me without thinking too much about what other people thought I should be. My clients loved me and I had a lot of friends in my field. It was my family that never accepted I was just being me. According to them I was : putting on airs - not caring enough about my house instead I traveled a lot with my husband - I missed some family “stuff” cause I was out of town having fun instead of pretending to enjoy what I didn’t. Looking back I would not have done one dam thing different. ❤ but I was always kind and genuinely loved them but I refused to let them make me as miserable as they were.
I’ve always been someone who needs to sleep 9 to 10 hours but I’ve seen my whole life in magazines or RUclips video that waking up early is good for your circadian rhythm. I tried for so long to wake up as early I could but always felt so tired during the day. I think too that we are all unique and should do our own sleeping schedule when we can 🦦
once you have made your point(especially if you are obviously correct) I suggest just telling people "You're right, have a great day" that waythey walk away happy and oblivious instead of angry and oblivious
WOW! This is my first time on your site, you hit it right on the nail. Now I know I don't have to feel guilty duing the things I enjoy and the way I think. Your advice just fits in on what I've been living. Am 75 economically solvent and really enjoying the final years of my life ; while blessed (not religious) with a female partner
And I love this video along with your other content! This is all such great advice, and I have no problem doing my own thing without worrying what other people think or say. Point 7 about Internet Gurus is so right! I've always been a morning person, ever since I was a little kid, and it's so nice to finally work a job this past year where Im working 7am-330pm during the week and OFF weekends after years in kitchens, some retail, and a 12-hour overnight gig in a factory. WHen I was a kid, I was up at 7am, but now that Im older, im up anywhere between 4am and 7am without an alarm, so I set them during the week JUST to be safe lol
I literally read somewhere the other day that people on the autism spectrum often have a differing circadian rhythm and are more often than not ‘night owls’ it’s the first time I’ve read something that gave a different perspective to the 5am club. I hate that I spent so much time feeling rubbish about my self because I’m not a morning person and I refuse to force myself to get up early. Loved this video Nicole 👏🏻
Yea I just accepted a new medical position and I told the supervisor that I NEED a night shift. Mornings are not for me 😂people call me lazy and everything but I’m like brainiac in the night time
@@Queen-ConsciousYa - I'm definitely a night owl here too. Looking back throughout history, it was always essential to have some people who were night owls. They needed people to stay at watch through the night for potential invaders. Many artists and musicians tend to feel more creative at night as well.
Aside from totally agreeing with you on everything you pointed out, I have to say that it is very calming to see your dog lying and resting in the background. This makes me aware of how much I miss my dog. The presence of a sweet dog just lying there and letting you do your thing until the next walk is priceless and should not be underestimated. This is actually one of the things you should care about.
My god i feel a lot better now watching this video thanks Nicole 👌I love your motivation to make people aware to stay true to themselves and that they dont have to care what others think of them! Love the video 💯% true! ❤
This video would have benefitted my wife and I 32 years ago. Family members that are needy just keep wanting more and more. We only just put our foot down and said, "This is too much" just within the past year. Now we can start working on our life.
Yes! I was going to take my daughter to get her hair braided until I realized that I don’t need to pay $100 for a style that everyone else has. So instead, I styled it in an elegant, kid appropriate way and she loved it! Saved money and she received so many compliments.
The “you do you” and rejecting labels is important. I am 56 years old and I’ve worked hard. I generally embrace frugal, minimal living. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to enjoy a luxury item. In fact, my being very responsible with money is what allowed me to recently purchase a luxury clothing item I have wanted for a long time. It’s high quality and I ll have it the rest of my life. I haven’t rejected minimalism and paid cash. I don’t have debt. I don’t buy a lot of things.
I absolutely love your advice. I have struggled with some things mentioned, like getting up early for work or school when I'm a late morning person. I have hope after listening to you!!
I just "found" you and I LOVE your attitude 🥰 Being an older person, you're absolutely on a healthy path in life 👍🤘❤ PS your #1 stop caring about...even if you did something without setting boundaries and regretted it, just remember sometimes we have to be put out in order to help someone else and in the end you're not really betraying yourself; your making just that moment more important to someone else rather than you and so sometimes you just have to self sacrifice to help someone else and that's okay. Just don't make it a habit. - so young and you're so smart 🦉
Thank you for these words. ❤I just love your videos they are the cold truth and that is so refreshing to hear these days. I also love how you get to the point. Thank you.
I love your attitude and (highly uncommon) “common sense”. Sure do hope it’s contagious! Millennials need to watch all your vids and take most of the advice to heart!!!
I don't care about fashion. I wear the same practical and comfortable clothes throughout the year, in the size that fits me and the colors and styles that I like. When it's cold out, I wear more layers.
I do the same thing!! I have several 3/4 sleeve tops that I wear whether it's 0 degrees or 100degrees out. Cooler weather, add a tank top underneath and a sweater over. Cold weather, add a coat! I somehow thought I invented this brilliant system, but I'm happy to know of other smart people doing the same 🤩
A new subscriber here. Agreed with almost all your points and letting my daughter look at your videos. I couldn't care less what others think of me a long time ago. I'm 59 now. However now I am conscious and do care about looking after my health as much as I could. So I try to make sure I'm physically active throughout the day and stopped smoking more than 7 years ago. Fortunately living on a 2 acre more or less homestead and still working from home I can't afford to be inactive. With some fortunate investments facilitated by inheritance I can afford to retire without work but still does to groom my 2 children to take over my work. And I do maintainence to 2 twenty over year old cars myself!
Regarding WORK DRAMA - this very much depends on the job. My first ever salaried position was working as an on-site Leasing Agent for one of Canada's largest REIT companies. It was IMPOSSIBLE to detach from work as I was on-call after office hours and most showings happened in the evening, even after I had already put in a typical 8:30am - 5:00 pm workday in the office. Also, my tenants knew exactly where I lived and could knock on my door whenever they wanted (including in the middle of the night) regardless if I was actually scheduled to work at that time. There was a lot of pressure to not have the business phone in my apartment redirect to off-site customer service and I had to wear a pager everywhere, everyday. It was a full-time PLUS job for a part-time salary (about $1600 CAD per month in today's money, plus a free apartment, worth about $885 CAD). I think it would be brutal for nearly anyone, but I also had two toddlers and a husband who commuted several hours away for days at a time. My son had EXTENSIVE medical needs (he has since passed at the age of 21), my own health was starting to fail badly and this traumatic experience literally broke our family apart. I thought it would be the right type of employment for us because I would physically be so close to my little ones, be able to have my breaks and lunch with them, but my employer required way too much of my supposed free time and I couldn't escape from it. So much more to the story but the annoying part of it was that I actually really enjoyed the office/paperwork aspect of it and would have been an awesome position for me if I COULD separate the job from home/real life.
Yeah, I don't agree with the job thing not mattering. We spend most of our waking hours at our job. Anything that takes up that much of our time and energy does matter. If the job involves too much stress and putting up with bs, we need to listen to those feelings and get the hell out of that situation as soon as we can. All the great hobbies and friends in the world won't take away from the fact that your job is killing you day by day.
I "discovered" you a couple of days ago and have watched a few videos. So far I totally agree with you. I am an 82 year old guy in the US who has always been an oddball and not afraid to be out of the "mainstream".
I was being interviewed /hired for a pretty high end job in my industry …. They had called me … during the interview they said; “Our start.time is 730” and I replied well, lets say my start time. Is 800 and be happy that I show by 900. I regularly work way past closing but I refuse to scramble in the morning. They weren’t happy but they accepted my terms. Life. Is. Too short to scurry … even when you work in NYC
That's rad. I might try using your approach the next time I interview if only for the sake of setting and managing expectations. I'm the exact same way. I don't view my work day as an 8-hour block, rather I view it as "what's the goal for today?" ..and the day is over when the goal is attained. (I'm a software developer if that's notable.) I tend to need more than 8 hours to match intentions so it's in their interest to play along.
@@callbackdons It does work. In your industry I would think it would work even better … IF you produce the product to show that your response / attitude is justifiable. In my industry I’m often “head hunted” in an industry that really doesn’t do that. If you’ve been head hunted then the interviewer (s) already know a good bit about you and the FACT they’re hunting YOU gives you a very good edge. You have to know & trust yourself and have the balls (intestinal fortitude) to make such an “offer” without it sounding like you’re asking for something as a favor.
Everything I know not to care about falls under one of your categories. Excellent job in explaining these concepts so thoroughly. You are wise beyond your years!
I agree with everything except work drama, now I can be rather nonchalant so I don’t let a lot things at work bother me but the same time it’s often people who make work stressful whether it’s coworkers bosses or customers so the whole it doesn’t matter and it’s not important and real life starts at home so what happens at work don’t matter is not that simple, it’s hard to turn it off when it comes to the stresses of work cause you have to get up and face the same bs everyday and that’s not easy for those of us who work a lot and see work and the people with work with and deal with at work more than anything and anyone else in our lives especially when your work environment is very toxic/problematic and sone of us can’t easily just up and leave said job depending on finances economy unemployment and how high our prospects of finding another job right away so yeah
Yes, you CAN get yourself out of a toxic situation. Please ask yourself how you got that fixed belief, it probably relates to how and why you got yourself into the toxic situation in the first place. Not blaming you, just inviting you to think a different way. This way leads to freedom and self-efficacy.
I’m getting ready to move to South America and I told this one “friend “ about my plans and she’s done nothing but invite herself to come visit me before I even get there. Now she has her 80 year-old sister coming along with her and now she’s even mentioned retiring where I’m going to retire. I finally had to tell her hey look…. Haven’t heard from her since and I couldn’t be happier.
I like Nickelback 😀 Definitely in the top ten of live bands I've seen. Have also experienced an outrageous request to let someone I'd never met stay at my house, and then there's the 'friend' I never heard from for two years after being diagnosed with cancer, who contacted me out of the blue to see if I could help her with something - and never even asked how I was doing. WTF only came to mind after I'd spent ten minutes wondering how I could help. I'm working on that 😂
I shaved my head (as a 52 yo female) because I was so tired about caring about my hair! Three years later and I haven’t regretted it for a minute - and I’ve saved money on hair products and hair cuts. 🙂 (Wish I had done it as a teen when I first felt the urge…)
I’m the opposite, 54 and have long hair. I don’t care what people think, I’m not cutting my hair short just because I am getting older, it’s grey and a bit dryer than a younger persons, but get over it, it’s my hair not yours. Bet you look great Xx
You sound like me 40 years ago and I haven't changed. Still live a solitary life, and since I retired, I sleep until I wake up. Thanks for your inspiration. You are not alone.
Get a FREE trial to Shortform, plus 20% off your annual membership at www.shortform.com/AccordingToNicole
Still love your bangs. :)
A very important one: Learn how to say no! All my life, my rule is, if you ask me something, and no is an optional answer, that's usually what you're going to hear! If you're the "God of NO" like I am, then you say no without an explanation! No is ALWAYS the safe answer! You want to keep getting royally screwed in life, keep saying yes! It's easier to say too because it has one less letter in it! Whatever I'm asked, if it inconveniences me in ANY way, it's a guaranteed NO! People don't like it, don't ask, and believe me, they don't!
Please trim your bangs!!!!
It was rude of them to ask you to watch their child without you not knowing her and her not knowing you. However, maybe they saw you as a trustworthy person???
I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that I liked the most about you. Then, you admitted to being a "Night Owl". Cool...🦉☕
I was always told that you MUST put other people first. This has caused such incredible stress. People take advantage of people who put others first.
True!!!!!🎉
You can still put others first and use common sense while doing it. That doesn't mean forget about yourself or neglect yourself.
Absolutely, especially and sadly in my case, my own family.
@@fightthebully3331 Agree. It depends on the situation. We can't be self-centered all the time when certain circumstances call for a little inconvenience on our part.
I learned to put ME first always! But not being selfish at the same time! My health comes first!
As a 58 year old woman living with Stage 4 breast cancer, it becomes very clear what is important. What makes people interesting is being their authentic selves. I could care less what people think of me. The only thing that matters to me is my relationship with God, my health and ability to do things that bring me joy, my boyfriend and his kids. I work for those things and only those things. I am not angry with people, I simply have given up on caring what they think.
If you got a diagnosis from a US doctor, you're actually in perfect health with no medical bills.
I hope you are OK
All the very best to you. Take care.
Sorry Debbie to hear about your illness I will be praying for you it looks like you are on the right track I am in the same situation with a bad Heart and other stuff and it has helped me zero in on what’s most important I hope the best for you ❤😊
Prayers for you
I am not making this up people. I stopped watching the news as much as possible. Especially the National News and anything going on in Washington D.C. My blood pressure has come down a little. I am not upset or keyed up like I used to be. Try this for a week and see if I'm wrong.
Yep. Stopped reading the newspaper years ago for this very reason
I stopped watching it because its fake news and I want real news only so I cant watch it.
Morrissey recommended to all of his friends that they stop watching the news.
this book was a life changer. i just read news now if Im bored not for a sense of being "aware" of whats going on in the "world".
Stop Reading the News: A Manifesto for a Happier, Calmer and Wiser Life a.co/d/hgYq55f
I'm with you!!!!
I am better off not worrying about what I look like from behind while cycling. I am a large woman, and I don't fucking care what the car behind me sees. I am out there trying to set an example for others my size or my age (45) who are wondering whether cycling is for them. I picked it right back up after 25 years of driving, and I have never been happier. I still have my car, but it stays parked far more than it's in motion now. Worrying about how large my ass is in relation to the size of my bicycle seat is for someone else. I don't care. I just want the feeling of wind on my face, smelling the gorgeous scented flowers, and passing the world by on a much slower basis than I ever have before. My life is the better for it.
Anyone who clowns on someone who’s trying to get healthier probably has a very small PP and no one that loves them.
Try a recumbent….they are great! I like Lightning P38 myself! Or try a velomobile!
@@AccordingtoNicole😂
❤❤❤❤❤
love that!!!
I had a friend tell me about someone not dressing nicely. I asked her why she cared because it did not effect her life, She did not have an answer
😂😂exactly. Why is that her business?
My mother was so much like this. I've listened to her narcissistic (she was formally diagnosed by a specialist) ranting about all kinds of stuff since I was a child. But this particular day I'd had enough. She was spewing vitriol about some random woman in a store we were passing and how she was "too big" to be wearing that particular dress. So I said, "wow, this has really upset you, hasn't it", to which there was more insane ranting about the woman's dress. So I told my mum in a sincere and gentle voice, "you should go in there right now and tell her that her size and her dress upsets you and she needs to go home and change immediately." Well, that shut her up good and proper lol. It took a few years of me saying stuff like that to calm her insane narc ranting in my company. Now she only makes vague comments but the vitriol is still there. That's why I stay away from her even though she's only a 20 min drive from my place.
I get treated completely differently when I wear a suit and drive one of my nice cars. It's dumb but that's reality.
@@centuryfreud You present yourself differently and get treated differently. Why does that seem dumb? Do you expect to get treated the same way no matter how you present yourself?
@@glumberty1 people should judge me based not on what I’m wearing, but the content of my character.
My neighbor once asked me to take their dog for a week in July. I don't have pets. I immediately thought about my hardwood floors, about picking up poop, about how I'd be unable to take off for an overnight beach trip on the weekend if I wanted to, so I said "No." Offered to water their plants, but not dog-sit. Not for a week at a clean, pet-free house. Our so-called friendship was over! Or, let's say, she fired me from my caretaker position. I guess I was getting paid in social opportunities? Bye.
When I was young my favorite band was The Ramones. I also loved The Doors, Pink Floyd… As a black girl, I was bullied mercilessly because of my taste in music. Now I’m super old and so glad that I learned early to embrace what brings me joy and not give a fuck about judgement from the haters. Now I rock my gray hair with two blue buns, a Megadeath tee shirt and high top Vans - and no one dares to comment.
My mom kicked my butt for sneaking off to take the subway to CBGB's to see the Ramones and Blondie!😅😂😂❤
That’s really cool :)
Wanna hook up sometime. You sound like my kind of gal! Yeah, super-cool!
You have excellent taste in music.
I love your thinking - I'm a 62-year-old man and I wish I'd thought like you at your age - it took me until I was about 55 before I stopped caring about lots of stuff. I started vlogging a couple of months ago and some people have laughed, but hey! I'm having fun so why should I care what they think? I love your channel. Good on ya!
🙌🏼
I was exactly the same James when I was young. God I feel more relaxed now I don't care anymore about what people think. We can't control it. So why care 😃👍
Keep going! ❤
It took me till age 55 also. I'm now 57, and I feel as though it's only now that I'm finally living my true life. I also wish I had had her mindset when I was younger.
I think she must have had very cool and open minded parents to learn what's important at a young age.
When I married and in my 20s, I suffered a lot of anxiety by accommodating impositions from family members I didn't even get along with. Once I got a little older, and finally said, "no", I felt a great relief. Life was much better when I set boundaries based on honesty and self-respect.
NO is the best word in the English language!
The surprise is how much more everybody respects you!
I've been similar things, regarding a narcissistic, demanding, inconsiderate father. He didn't like my "nos", but I am feeling so much better and stronger since I learned to stand up to him.
I went from an expensive Audi to a 2003 VW Beetle. The number of times I have been made fun of is ridiculous. Some of my friends have even felt embarrassed about it which makes me laugh. I don't care and I actually love the car because it's mine. It's paid for and I don't have any debt attached to it. I will never understand how people can feel that way about someone else car. But that is their problem. Not mine.
Yes, exactly what I think. If someone has a problem with me, then it's THEIR problem, not mine.
it's crazy they feel embarrased about someone else's car
I drive around town in my 2006 Hyundai Accent. I read that it's supposed to be a first car for young drivers. When I go to wine tastings at my well to do friend's houses, I drive my more respectable 2017 Subaru Outback. It just looks better in their nice neighborhoods, but I'm not sure they care. Actually, my wine collection is worth more than my two cars, and my house is quite modest. Just do what you want, and others can deal with it.
Need new friends?
Hey Cars from the 90s till the 2010s are the best cars ever. Those who make fun of dont have a clue about cars. I still roll with my 1999 Honda-HRV to the companies parking lot where Teslas, and BMWs dominate.
My dog and his care come before anything. I don’t care what people think of it. People judge me for staying home with him instead of hanging it with them. I won’t ever be sorry for it.
Same. I've always missed my pets when I'm out. Once my party 20s were over, staying home with my pets is preferable over most activities that will take me away for more than 5 or so hours.
Your pup will always remain loyal to you and forever be your best friend.. friends and ppl come and go; they can switch up like a light bulb. Never be sorry for this. Stay true to you.. you worn regret the time spent w your best friend doggie💗💟🤍
I am that way too. When I leave the house for more than 3 or 4 hours, I feel guilty because my pup is waiting for me and missing me.
You’re doing it correctly. Dogs are far better than humans.
@@accuratealloys The difference is a good human can drive you home and care for you after surgery or sickness or chemo...help when things are rough. A dog cannot help you in a pinch the way a human can. Good humans that you can trust are worth the most, because someday if we live long enough we all will end up in some sort of health drama. However if you have lots of money to pay people to attend to you, then of course you don't need to have a support network of humans as much.
I'm 69 and enjoy working out, sleeping every night in a hammock, riding motorcycles, camping once every week, living alone and walking. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
Except that. . . well. . . you thought you'd tell us all about it.
@@eyesuckle its all a cope. sure. dont stretch to portray an image. but please do something to make some dolla dollas to not suffer so badly
@eyesuckle, actually, she's telling Nichole. You just happen to be reading it.
I can relate to the person asking for an overnight. I am reclusive. I don't like people in my house, not even my sons when they come to visit. A friend has been begging me to let her come help me, but I would literally rather take a month to do something myself than to let her come in. It feels like an invasion when people are in my house. I get out of it by saying "My house isn't set up for guests, since I live here alone. There is no place for anyone to sit," which is true. People tell me I should get a couch or some more chairs, but I think I keep it this way so I don't have to have anyone in here.
I take the back seats out of my car so I don't have to accommodate other people's kids. 🤭
That would be a bit over the top for me. I love living by myself and the privacy. Except when friends come to stay I tell them the house is all yours, relax and do whatever you feel like without asking. For me a house is just a house, is just a house. I keep mine clean and tight but could really care less. It's just a roof with running water and electricity.
Privacy is a thing sure, but getting all disturbed while your own very son comes for a visit is just next level. Why have a kid to begin with? Spot a narcs mom.
@@xnoname223 When 100% selfishness is paraded as privacy LOL
I put up anti-homeless architecture in my apartment such as spikes covering everywhere a person could sit or god forbid might lie down . Also only got one dish,, one cup and a spork, so noone thinks of eating over.
Fellow night own here, and I refuse to wake up for a 9-5. Good for you for tailoring your life to your schedule! People become miserably unhappy trying to fit into moulds that society tries to make for them. Love your videos- keep it up your killing it!
Nicole, I have watched three of your videos now and I must say you are one of the wisest young persons I have ever listened to. I am 87 years old. I have subscribed to your channel and look forward to hear more from you.
I am 67 years old & I agree! Nicole, you are one of the wisest people--of any age--that I have ever encountered. Good for you!
I have always lived my life on my own terms. From a young age I never worried about what other people thought. I always take the path that is best for me. Never worried about fitting in with what other people did. Peer pressure is a downfall for many people.
I did the same but my parents disowned me, and they had a fortune. I will always love them but I still get scared they're mad at me in the next life. I became Catholic, was sweet, and had 4 kids. A flop to my folks.
@@rcjdeanna5282 Why do you love them ? They did not love you.
One thing I've learned over the decades is that what other people think of me is none of my business. Trying to do anything to please others is playing a game you can never win because everyone has a different take on you so your points are on target. We have so many posers in society trying to portray themselves as something they aren't which is nothing more than acting. It takes immense energy to keep up the charade with is exhausting. Once you let all that go you feel far lighter, more authentic and happier. It's called your true self.
Yes. And if they are judgemental about you - it's likely coming from their own insecurities.
I love listening to your perspectives. I definitely needed to hear “work is not your real life, go home” I need to hear that every morning as a reminder to separate my personal life from work
Oooh. You caught me on the work drama one. I am so guilty of this. I spend my days and sleepless nights agonizing over the fact that I don't think anyone at work likes me. That I don't fit in. That I'm seen as inept when I'm trying my best to do all of the tasks assigned to me, which is a seemingly impossible goal and I feel not good enough and so threatened and insecure.
You're on the verge of enlightenment, my friend. In fact, you've already taken the biggest and most difficult step. Becoming self-aware. We carry our neuroses around with us as if they were precious and apply them to whatever circumstances we're in or whatever people we find ourselves around. The good news is by owning this it becomes one of the things we can change!
I loved Mark Manson's book. I think age helps with these 8 things. As you get older and wiser, you realise that some things just aren't worth worrying about it. Boundaries with people, drama and not caring what they think of me, are definitely high on that list. And I totally agree - the internet is not the place for arguments. :)
Nicole, I ran across your RUclips videos today and I must say your views and opinions are like a breath of fresh air. I wish I had your views when I was younger; they would have saved me a lot of grief. Thank you for sharing. 😊
Nicole, you are correct. I have worked in customer facing roles for nearly forty years. I care enough to do my job well. But once I step foot out of the door it's all about my life. I hope one day people will realise that they are mostly invisible to everybody else. I have been single now for the last six years, no-one notices me, no one cares, and I live a simple, happy and free life. I hope this message finds you well.
'There is more to life, than increasing its speed.' Ghandi
Caring about things that I can't control. I struggle with this
You're the exception but a majority of people judge you based on the car/phone/clothes/money you have. I used to drive beater cars. People would think I'm poor, going to steal something, etc. It's amazing how I get treated when I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car. It's dumb but that's reality. Loved your "internet guru" piece - soooooo true.
Everything you said was spot on and you put it very well. I agree 100%. I'm 65, and it took a long time for me to learn these types of things, but I'm so much happier now. I've had a few people comment on how I dress because I always wear t-shirts or sweatshirts, jeans, and sneakers. I tell them if they don't like it then don't look at me. I don't need or want to be like everyone else, I just want to be myself. I always remember a quote from Kurt Cobain "They laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they are all the same".
I stopped caring what people think when I go to bed early. Unlike you I am a morning person, I like to get up early and gets lots done before I start my day Job (no green smoothies either) but by 9pm I am done and love to go to bed early, read, watch you tube etc. however it’s tricky when spending time with night owls as they are like .what! You are going to bed already! Yup .night night lol😂
Same I’m a night owl and if people want to make time for me they won’t make me do it early lol. 😅
Wow! Love this video. As I am getting older, I really don’t care about what people think about me. I have 2 autistic sons and we don’t have the same lifestyle as others and we don’t care: we are a happy family and we love each other.
I recently saw this sign on the London Underground...
“ Dogs Must Be Carried At All Times When Using This Escalator”
Anyway...I looked around and it took me about 40 minutes to find a dog...and so I carried it up the escalator as instructed.
The dog was very puzzled...and so was I...But neither of us cared anyway.
Remember that when you see one of those "Wet Floor" signs it is a warning, not a command.
Love this video! Just what I need! I'm 58. As a younger person, I had no boundaries. I came from a violent home life and was tossed out in the world to fend for myself. Not good in school, without skills, I fell to hard labor, washing dishes, building basements with heavy concrete blocks, construction labor, etc. And everyone treated me like crap. I was a loner with no social skills. I could not say no to anyone. Everyone was my boss. Early on, especially in the workplace, I had to get hard and start telling folks to buzz off and really mean it. Which I did.
Now, I'm a winner... with no social skills. But I'm a big, strong guy and I'm really good at doing dirty jobs. People like me don't need social skills honed to a fine edge. Who even wants them?! I made a living cleaning up construction sites, throwing drunk fools out of strip clubs and casinos for years, fighting, scrapping, skirmishing. I came out of 20+ years of it unscathed.
I like doing dirty jobs. And I'm great at it. Yes. But that doesn't mean you get to treat me like dirt. No way. Unfortunately, that is how people look at you when you are a great dirty job doer.
Let them look. I don't care. And, no, I'm not here to do YOUR dirty work for you. Do it yourself--or PAY UP! WAY UP!
At 58, I'm still powerfully built, healthy, capable and... people know it. The fat, lazy slobs and entitled women in my workplace want to latch onto me and get me doing their dirty work for them to this day. But now I know how to handle it. I know how to say, "If I do this for you, what'cha gonna do for me, Sweetie?" Or, "I'm not available." Or, "It's not my job." Or, "Continue seeking me out and trying to aggravate me and I'll have you standing tall before your supervisor and HR." Or, I just ignore them completely. One of the higher ups (has her own office--not a cubicle) passed by me as I was finishing up a window cleaning job outdoors and smiled, saying, "Wow! You really know how to clean windows! That's amazing! And you make it look so easy! I'm going to have you come to my home one of these weekends and work your magic on MY windows!" Notice, Dear Reader, she hadn't ASKED nor INQUIRED, but just said it as a matter of fact, as though the choice was hers alone. I was immediately offended. I responded, "Yes, it's true, I'm good at what I do, likely the best there is, and I do have my own little cleaning company for occasions like these. But unfortunately for you, I don't clean residential, but commercial only. Plus, I doubt you would be able to afford me." At that, she turned red, lowered her gaze and frowned. She hissed and snorted at me and stormed off. Hasn't talked to me since. I'm OK with that.
Nonetheless, I am a caring person and I want to be helpful. It drives me to madness that people are so lazy and inconsiderate--and just plain cruel. It's not that I can't be reasoned with nor bargained with, but, as the video teaches, there is a point where I simply need to pull the plug on certain people, places and things and just stop caring.
Sounds like that lady was just trying to give you a compliment and make lighthearted conversation and you took it seriously. I don’t think she actually wanted you to come to her house and clean her windows. Lots of people say “I’m gonna have to have you do that for me” as a way of compliment at a skill someone has with something.
@@makdem4603 I know what you mean. I'm receptive to that sort of compliment. But this clearly wasn't that sort of compliment. She was being condescending, a smart-ass. I typically ignore them, but I didn't let this one slide.
This was excellent. I'm a retired brick layer/custom home builder. Sure, I can fix anything, inspect anything. But I won't. I only help little old ladies in stress and I never charge them what it's really worth. But that whole assumption "oh you can do this or that because your a big ol strong guy not afraid to get dirty" Naw, Go F yourself!
You sound insufferable
Good come back to that self entitled woman.
I am in the process of giving people their space to feel and think what they want, without commenting. Also, tied into that is setting boundaries when others feel it’s necessary to comment on my choices.
I worked at a stressful shitty factory job for 20 yrs with 6 guys on our shift. After a rough night we are about to go home and the old leader guy that I liked told me, Gary I don't think you'd care if the sun came up in the morning. I was a little shocked and wondered how he could feel that from me. He was pretty much right. Sucked at work and sucked at home. Great the sun is coming up, and I get to do this all over again after 12 hrs off....
@@nolamar1 It was a negative. He sensed I was a little depressed with work and probably my home life. Doing the same old shit every day, a battle at work and at home, and for what? To do it all over again the next day. or until I made a major change in my life. Hopefully you make better choices in your life so you can avoid getting stuck in a rut like I did.
How did you hack it for 20 years 😮 . Hope your life is better now 🙏
Oh my god you really hit the nail on the head with this video. Specifically with the part about why anyone cares what I do with my life. WTH? I live my life quietly and to the best of my ability, yet so many people feel ENTITLED to judge me and how I act, what I do, and how I appear to them. I have never approached life like that so this has really thrown me off at times. Where does this crusader mentality come from?
Being stubborn as hell and growing up on punk rock.
Rule 1: question everything
Rule 2: make your own way
Rule 3: f anyone who has a problem with it
The problem is that nowadays lots of companies try to convince you that your job IS your life and a company and your coworkers ARE your family. Some can stalk you on the social network during working day and make you account for the things you write on yor personal page even if it's not about company, even if you haven't signed the document (there is no even one in the company) that forbid you to post anything in your personal account or to use your phone. And sometimes people come after job too much emotionally sucked to meet the friends or do hobbies, especially those who are working with people.
OK thank you I needed to hear Work is not my whole life. I’ve actually got a new job at the job I’ve been in I took because it’s work from home. I’m in the medical field and dealing with nasty patients and micromanaged boss telling me I’m not good enough has really gotten to me to the point of like a nervous break down. I really need to read that book and keep repeating work is not life work is not life thank you.❤❤❤
Thank you for a well thought through list. I would like to add one more. When we cannot change things, we have to change our attitude towards them.
Thank you for mentioning the “other peoples business” one! I can think of a couple things in particular that certain members of our society need to grow TF up about lol. I find that when someone doesn’t “understand” a certain lifestyle, they become uncomfortable and then get all mad about it instead of letting it go and letting people live their life
On the topic of setting boundaries, a good friend once told me, "'No.' is a complete sentence." Their point is that there's no need to explain oneself when declining a request or setting a boundary. I love that and try to implement it in my own life. Really appreciate your perspective, Nicole. I found your channel recently, and I've been watching a bunch.
Oooh, I love that statement! It’s a keeper.
I refuse requests to borrow my things since a number of times it is forgotten to be returned. All it did was piss me off, loss it's use and cost me money and friends.
Exactly, adnm it's exactly why my things last so much longer too. No-one is allowed to even touch them. Also, many are never ready to be accountable to pay/compensate (or even apologize) if they lose or damage my stuff.
Great advice! I totally agree that work is work, but I struggle with forgetting about it when I clock out. I work in hospitality, and if there's been a difficult guest, I go over and over what went wrong etc etc. I wish I could park it up.
One of the things I've adopted over the years is ALWAYS issuing invitations or requests by email (if they have it) and not by phone. Email doesn't put them on the spot the way a phone conversation does. They can think about it and give me a response whenever they are ready to. PLUS I always say, 'If that doesn't sound like something you want to do, just say no. You don't need to give me a reason. We're fine, whatever you say." And I MEAN it.
As for me, I have little to no problem saying 'no' to things that don't hit me right. But then, I'm old, and-trust me- not giving a rat's arse gets easier as you get older!
Awesome video! I love the way your dog transports himself from his bed to couch several times by teleportation!
I agree with all of your points and have always lived this way. I don't know why people get all twittered by the things they do!
I can't stand it when people say "what you need to do or what you should do", if I wanted to do it I would of done it already 😊
Or I tell them, well since you know what’s best for me, come live my life then 😂
Yes! Excellent response to people who say that! ♥️
I look forward to your videos every Sunday morning!!! I just realized this Friday how some of us are natural born savers and others are natural born spenders! I had lunch with some coworkers and I ordered the lunch special which was plenty of food and delicious! And others are ordering a bunch of appetizers and bottles of wine! When the waitress wanted to take the menus one guy said he was going to hold on to his cause he was still thinking about ordering even more food! And he did! Of course when the bill comes they just want to split it evenly! I’ll be skipping lunch with these butt holes moving forward!
F that guy
@@AccordingtoNicole That's it LOL and F all the schnorrers !!!
Next time, ask for separate checks, at the beginning of the order. I have been there and done that before and did not care who was offended. Just like you, the same scenario happened to me. Good luck next time and don’t let coworkers squash your need to socialize.😉
I love your attitude and I love your videos. I’m in my 60s and I have zero tolerance anymore for people’s self generated drama and chaos. Which is probably why I have no friends. I can spot the drama queens from a mile away. I wish I had been more like you when I was your age, but I’m pretty happy where I am now. Getting older and not giving a f*ck is very liberating. And I don’t at all mean that in a nasty or negative way, simply that we each must live in a way that is authentic for us. ❤
Honestly when you have gone to school long enough to be a doctor or lawyer, that career becomes a part of you. I enjoy lawyering even at home, checking the online portals for our company and getting ready for court in my off-time. It IS my calling and my real life. Even if I wasn’t trying to grow my nest egg, I would be bored if I didn’t have cases. I’ve tried that and I watched too much tv when I wasn’t utilizing my lizard lawyer brain.
Agree, I’m a doctor and it becomes your life. Hard to separate home life and work life in those professions
I've gone my own route years ago with no regrets,i never cared what others thought,I'm happy and thats it.
I've been a minimalist many moons now.
It's one of the best things I've ever done besides my 52 year old son.
I cannot for the life of me figure out why anyone would pay all that $$$ to wear and advertise for any company some do think I'm not a little but some kind of different and I always respond with thank you for the compliment.
I agree 100% with all your points. I have been getting very good at not giving a F what people think, for a long time. It’s great not trying to wonder or assume what others might be thinking. I’m just loving my life and don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about it.
I have a 100k car, I’m a driving enthusiast. It was a long term goal and kept me inspired to grow and to make wise decisions to get to a place that I could do that. It’s a dull grey color to not draw attention. I don’t post it on social media or go around telling people. So it’s one of those exceptions. Now I need to dream again, to move away closer to nature and leave the rat race.
100% agree. Perhaps the difference with me is that I never cared about any of these things. As a little kid I thought, “If someone doesn’t like me because of something I like or don’t like, then I’m probably not going to care about them.”
"NO" is a perfectly acceptable answer.
Not when you're looking for somewhere to stash your stepdaughter for the evening!
i always feel a sense of pride knowing that i managed to live comfortably and was able to buy a home while making a fraction of what most people make. it sickens me a bit to see people living in $1million homes, driving $125k BMW's making $250k a year and still they're living paycheck to paycheck because they own nothing, the banks own everything they present as their wealth. if i can't afford something, i don't buy it, it's that simple.
I love the 4th idea. I often think about how I’m expecting to like or dislike something because of my race, or roll with the status quo with my race on social issues.
Again! you nailed it all Nicole 👏👏👏agreed with all the points
I might add if anyone chooses to love and care for there pet as family they should be praised not
Ridiculed😇. Love love love to you and your pet❣️
I sure need that reminder that " work is not my real life." And arguing with people we dont even know online is truly a waste of time and energy. I make my point and leave it at that.
To your last point, in the last few years, I have 'discovered' symphonic metal and I am captivated by it. I am 71 and suppose that some would think that I am odd or out of orbit. Too bad - I listen to it when I work out and my favorite band energizes me and gives me pause to think as their lyrics are all about real emotions...
You are a free bird - keep flying!
Yes I have been working on setting boundaries. Its hard because I was brought up to not rock the boat. Stupid. So telling someone no is rocking the boat. 🤦♀️ This was a great list, I work in supermarket at the Deli and I find it hard to deal with the amount of rude (both directly and indirectly) people. Some days are better than others.
You shouldn't have any relationships from acquaintances to partners where you cannot say no. I try to work out what a rude person is actually trying to communicate which gives you mentally a way of stepping back from an emotional response because they have you on the back foot from then onwards. It's usually attention seeking or someone didn't listen to me earlier or was rude to me so I'm going to dump this on you now. Just you not allowing yourself to be put on the back foot can make a difference in some situations.
Just remember this and this is actually quite true: Setting boundaries makes other people respect you...and makes YOU respect you. The other people may bitch and moan but...they actually will find themselves oddly respecting you. They may never tell you or show that but trust me, it's there. And tell me truthfully a good, solid "no" isn't satisfying? At all? C'mon!
Love this Nicole especially the one about saying no! I have gotten myself in some predicaments over the years cause I was too scared to just tell them no❤️❤️
I think we all have
As a mechanic i get it all the time, and being too nice to say no it was getting to the point where i didnt even get a weekend, every car or truck issue was my issue because shops are "so expensive". But recently iv started saying "oh your a chef ?" Are you gonna come to my house and cook my meals ? Then why am i doing ur brakes in ur driveway ? And thats somehow ok to ask. No is now my favorite word.
Basicaly ,what your saying is, You live your life your way, and let others do the same. Who gives a S""t what people think. Great opinion, Great video.
Wow. That first example was really wild. Who would ask something like that? I mean if it was more of a business exchange to be a temporary bnb for this one time, fine. But then asking "friends" to pay money for their step kid to say over is sketchy in its own area without that person offering a cash incentive in the first place. Just an awkward situation all around.
Yeah it was hella weird. I don’t want their money. I’m just not having a stranger stay the night at my house.
@@AccordingtoNicole Your response had been quite a bit better than mine would have. I might have re-contemplated my whole relationship with that person and replied with something very creepy and off-putting in hopes that they would have been the ones to back off first and never tried to cross that road again. Just kinda hard to do that in todays woke day-in-age tho. Jokes being Jokes and all that some people get to stiff about. Hey, anyone remember Mitch Hedberg. What a dude.
Thanks again Nicole. Love the brutally honest way you approach your life and your YT channel. Keep it up!
Great video. The point on work drama is spot on and the fact is coworkers are not your friends. Best to keep your personal and professional lives separate, don't bring your personal issues to work and your work issues to your personal life. On boundaries, absolutely correct! I used to put up rude requests from people I really didn't know all that well. Thanks goodness I have gotten better at telling people to go f' themselves. Anyone who creates drama or is a drama enabler is managed out of my life. Looking poor and inconspicuous also helps keep people away.
Work is not your real life when all you have is a JOB - but it can be your everything if you have a profession, a passion that you are following. I think this is what many young people are missing, its the cause for not giving more at work. I am in a profession - I live my work 24x7 and love it.
I sometimes wonder what that would be like.
@@rodgerlang884me, too! I had kids and responsibilities and had to work the J-O-B I hated for many years.
I could have made this video but called it things I learned by the time I was 60…. It’s great that you are there 30 years before me! The one thing I don’t agree on is work and sucking it up. Don’t suck it up, find a way to change it if your work or colleagues make you miserable. We spend a lot of our precious time at work so don’t put up with endless crap. I finally went self employed in my 50s and I’ve never been happier.
💯 We spend a lot of time and energy at work - if at all possible find a job that gives you some satisfaction and fulfilment.
We go through so much meaningless interactions with people that have little impact or value to our lives. I looooooooove your honesty and your channel ❤.
The bit about arriving at your wealthy clients in your ordinary car made me think of Columbo in his old raincoat and banger of a car but soon got respect
I agree with all 8 of your points 100%. You are wise beyond your years to have realized all this at such a young age. I'm 65 and the best thing ever is being who I am no matter what.
I have mostly been me without thinking too much about what other people thought I should be. My clients loved me and I had a lot of friends in my field. It was my family that never accepted I was just being me. According to them I was : putting on airs - not caring enough about my house instead I traveled a lot with my husband - I missed some family “stuff” cause I was out of town having fun instead of pretending to enjoy what I didn’t. Looking back I would not have done one dam thing different. ❤ but I was always kind and genuinely loved them but I refused to let them make me as miserable as they were.
I’ve always been someone who needs to sleep 9 to 10 hours but I’ve seen my whole life in magazines or RUclips video that waking up early is good for your circadian rhythm. I tried for so long to wake up as early I could but always felt so tired during the day.
I think too that we are all unique and should do our own sleeping schedule when we can 🦦
once you have made your point(especially if you are obviously correct) I suggest just telling people "You're right, have a great day" that waythey walk away happy and oblivious instead of angry and oblivious
WOW! This is my first time on your site, you hit it right on the nail. Now I know I don't have to feel guilty duing the things I enjoy and the way I think.
Your advice just fits in on what I've been living. Am 75 economically solvent and really enjoying the final years of my life ; while blessed (not religious) with a female partner
And I love this video along with your other content! This is all such great advice, and I have no problem doing my own thing without worrying what other people think or say. Point 7 about Internet Gurus is so right! I've always been a morning person, ever since I was a little kid, and it's so nice to finally work a job this past year where Im working 7am-330pm during the week and OFF weekends after years in kitchens, some retail, and a 12-hour overnight gig in a factory. WHen I was a kid, I was up at 7am, but now that Im older, im up anywhere between 4am and 7am without an alarm, so I set them during the week JUST to be safe lol
I literally read somewhere the other day that people on the autism spectrum often have a differing circadian rhythm and are more often than not ‘night owls’ it’s the first time I’ve read something that gave a different perspective to the 5am club. I hate that I spent so much time feeling rubbish about my self because I’m not a morning person and I refuse to force myself to get up early. Loved this video Nicole 👏🏻
Yea I just accepted a new medical position and I told the supervisor that I NEED a night shift. Mornings are not for me 😂people call me lazy and everything but I’m like brainiac in the night time
@@Queen-ConsciousYa - I'm definitely a night owl here too. Looking back throughout history, it was always essential to have some people who were night owls. They needed people to stay at watch through the night for potential invaders. Many artists and musicians tend to feel more creative at night as well.
Thank you for being there! 😊 You always make sense to me and make me laugh!! Have a wonderful day!
Thanks for watching!
I don't even have a car. I'm 54 and can't drive, no interest in even learning now, so you are one up on me already Nicole xx
Me either! Never needed it 👍
Aside from totally agreeing with you on everything you pointed out, I have to say that it is very calming to see your dog lying and resting in the background. This makes me aware of how much I miss my dog. The presence of a sweet dog just lying there and letting you do your thing until the next walk is priceless and should not be underestimated. This is actually one of the things you should care about.
My god i feel a lot better now watching this video thanks Nicole 👌I love your motivation to make people aware to stay true to themselves and that they dont have to care what others think of them! Love the video 💯% true! ❤
This video would have benefitted my wife and I 32 years ago. Family members that are needy just keep wanting more and more. We only just put our foot down and said, "This is too much" just within the past year. Now we can start working on our life.
So many of these took me longer to let go than I care to admit but age has definitely helped. ❤ Thanks again for a great video!
Wow you are so smart 😊
You have such a great outlook on life. You get it
I quit wasting so much time and money on make up and hair styling. What freedom. Wish I had done it years ago!
Yes! I was going to take my daughter to get her hair braided until I realized that I don’t need to pay $100 for a style that everyone else has. So instead, I styled it in an elegant, kid appropriate way and she loved it! Saved money and she received so many compliments.
The “you do you” and rejecting labels is important. I am 56 years old and I’ve worked hard. I generally embrace frugal, minimal living. That doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to enjoy a luxury item. In fact, my being very responsible with money is what allowed me to recently purchase a luxury clothing item I have wanted for a long time. It’s high quality and I ll have it the rest of my life. I haven’t rejected minimalism and paid cash. I don’t have debt. I don’t buy a lot of things.
I absolutely love your advice. I have struggled with some things mentioned, like getting up early for work or school when I'm a late morning person. I have hope after listening to you!!
I just "found" you and I LOVE your attitude 🥰 Being an older person, you're absolutely on a healthy path in life 👍🤘❤ PS your #1 stop caring about...even if you did something without setting boundaries and regretted it, just remember sometimes we have to be put out in order to help someone else and in the end you're not really betraying yourself; your making just that moment more important to someone else rather than you and so sometimes you just have to self sacrifice to help someone else and that's okay. Just don't make it a habit. - so young and you're so smart 🦉
Thank you for these words. ❤I just love your videos they are the cold truth and that is so refreshing to hear these days. I also love how you get to the point. Thank you.
I love your attitude and (highly uncommon) “common sense”. Sure do hope it’s contagious! Millennials need to watch all your vids and take most of the advice to heart!!!
I don't care about fashion. I wear the same practical and comfortable clothes throughout the year, in the size that fits me and the colors and styles that I like. When it's cold out, I wear more layers.
I'm 72 and I live in north Idaho. I dress for my comfort. Could care less about fashion.
I do the same thing!! I have several 3/4 sleeve tops that I wear whether it's 0 degrees or 100degrees out. Cooler weather, add a tank top underneath and a sweater over. Cold weather, add a coat! I somehow thought I invented this brilliant system, but I'm happy to know of other smart people doing the same 🤩
A new subscriber here. Agreed with almost all your points and letting my daughter look at your videos. I couldn't care less what others think of me a long time ago. I'm 59 now. However now I am conscious and do care about looking after my health as much as I could. So I try to make sure I'm physically active throughout the day and stopped smoking more than 7 years ago. Fortunately living on a 2 acre more or less homestead and still working from home I can't afford to be inactive. With some fortunate investments facilitated by inheritance I can afford to retire without work but still does to groom my 2 children to take over my work. And I do maintainence to 2 twenty over year old cars myself!
Regarding WORK DRAMA - this very much depends on the job. My first ever salaried position was working as an on-site Leasing Agent for one of Canada's largest REIT companies. It was IMPOSSIBLE to detach from work as I was on-call after office hours and most showings happened in the evening, even after I had already put in a typical 8:30am - 5:00 pm workday in the office. Also, my tenants knew exactly where I lived and could knock on my door whenever they wanted (including in the middle of the night) regardless if I was actually scheduled to work at that time. There was a lot of pressure to not have the business phone in my apartment redirect to off-site customer service and I had to wear a pager everywhere, everyday. It was a full-time PLUS job for a part-time salary (about $1600 CAD per month in today's money, plus a free apartment, worth about $885 CAD). I think it would be brutal for nearly anyone, but I also had two toddlers and a husband who commuted several hours away for days at a time. My son had EXTENSIVE medical needs (he has since passed at the age of 21), my own health was starting to fail badly and this traumatic experience literally broke our family apart. I thought it would be the right type of employment for us because I would physically be so close to my little ones, be able to have my breaks and lunch with them, but my employer required way too much of my supposed free time and I couldn't escape from it. So much more to the story but the annoying part of it was that I actually really enjoyed the office/paperwork aspect of it and would have been an awesome position for me if I COULD separate the job from home/real life.
Yeah, I don't agree with the job thing not mattering. We spend most of our waking hours at our job. Anything that takes up that much of our time and energy does matter. If the job involves too much stress and putting up with bs, we need to listen to those feelings and get the hell out of that situation as soon as we can. All the great hobbies and friends in the world won't take away from the fact that your job is killing you day by day.
I "discovered" you a couple of days ago and have watched a few videos. So far I totally agree with you. I am an 82 year old guy in the US who has always been an oddball and not afraid to be out of the "mainstream".
I was being interviewed /hired for a pretty high end job in my industry …. They had called me … during the interview they said; “Our start.time is 730” and I replied well, lets say my start time. Is 800 and be happy that I show by 900.
I regularly work way past closing but I refuse to scramble in the morning.
They weren’t happy but they accepted my terms.
Life. Is. Too short to scurry … even when you work in NYC
That's rad. I might try using your approach the next time I interview if only for the sake of setting and managing expectations. I'm the exact same way. I don't view my work day as an 8-hour block, rather I view it as "what's the goal for today?" ..and the day is over when the goal is attained. (I'm a software developer if that's notable.) I tend to need more than 8 hours to match intentions so it's in their interest to play along.
@@callbackdons It does work. In your industry I would think it would work even better … IF you produce the product to show that your response / attitude is justifiable.
In my industry I’m often “head hunted” in an industry that really doesn’t do that. If you’ve been head hunted then the interviewer (s) already know a good bit about you and the FACT they’re hunting YOU gives you a very good edge.
You have to know & trust yourself and have the balls (intestinal fortitude) to make such an “offer” without it sounding like you’re asking for something as a favor.
Everything I know not to care about falls under one of your categories. Excellent job in explaining these concepts so thoroughly. You are wise beyond your years!
I agree with everything except work drama, now I can be rather nonchalant so I don’t let a lot things at work bother me but the same time it’s often people who make work stressful whether it’s coworkers bosses or customers so the whole it doesn’t matter and it’s not important and real life starts at home so what happens at work don’t matter is not that simple, it’s hard to turn it off when it comes to the stresses of work cause you have to get up and face the same bs everyday and that’s not easy for those of us who work a lot and see work and the people with work with and deal with at work more than anything and anyone else in our lives especially when your work environment is very toxic/problematic and sone of us can’t easily just up and leave said job depending on finances economy unemployment and how high our prospects of finding another job right away so yeah
Yes, you CAN get yourself out of a toxic situation. Please ask yourself how you got that fixed belief, it probably relates to how and why you got yourself into the toxic situation in the first place. Not blaming you, just inviting you to think a different way. This way leads to freedom and self-efficacy.
You should write a book Nicole!
I’m getting ready to move to South America and I told this one “friend “ about my plans and she’s done nothing but invite herself to come visit me before I even get there. Now she has her 80 year-old sister coming along with her and now she’s even mentioned retiring where I’m going to retire. I finally had to tell her hey look…. Haven’t heard from her since and I couldn’t be happier.
I like Nickelback 😀 Definitely in the top ten of live bands I've seen. Have also experienced an outrageous request to let someone I'd never met stay at my house, and then there's the 'friend' I never heard from for two years after being diagnosed with cancer, who contacted me out of the blue to see if I could help her with something - and never even asked how I was doing. WTF only came to mind after I'd spent ten minutes wondering how I could help. I'm working on that 😂
I loved your advice. I've been living it for a long time. You've just reaffirmed it. I don't even care about your bangs being too long and uneven!
I shaved my head (as a 52 yo female) because I was so tired about caring about my hair! Three years later and I haven’t regretted it for a minute - and I’ve saved money on hair products and hair cuts. 🙂 (Wish I had done it as a teen when I first felt the urge…)
I’m the opposite, 54 and have long hair. I don’t care what people think, I’m not cutting my hair short just because I am getting older, it’s grey and a bit dryer than a younger persons, but get over it, it’s my hair not yours. Bet you look great Xx
@@snapdragon2441That's cool. I want to be like you when I get older. Silver hair is a crown. Why would I dye it?
You sound like me 40 years ago and I haven't changed. Still live a solitary life, and since I retired, I sleep until I wake up. Thanks for your inspiration. You are not alone.