I can absolutely understand why Alan moves the way he does. He watched his parents battle for custody of him for 14 years. Imagine what that does to a child. He said he lunged at the judge because he felt voiceless and invisible. Imo he never learned to assert himself in a healthy way as a result of the custody trauma. It absolutely shaped the Alan we see today. It's a miracle he's not as mean and bitter as Ikechi.
Blair I think you hit it on the head to question Madison’s emotional intelligence. It’s easy to call Allen a pushover but sometimes being assertive and leadership takes practice. I think her responses to Allen are evasive and she doesn’t help create a space for him to work on that skill with grace. Great deep dive!
I thought Allen having a dream about the show having her marrying someone else was his subconscious trying to warn him about the cheating. He knows something is going on but he has been taught to believe what a woman says.
In Allen’s defense look how she acted when he did get vulnerable and was honest with her. She’s manipulated that situation to ‘be hurt because she so pretty that it hurts!😢’ & run to the arms of David! She’s full off it! Allen was extremely clear by saying he didn’t have the words, didn’t want to offend and no longer thinks that way. Come on now, the man was be honest, & we kinda think the same! I agree with your assessment Blair!❤ ! Allen got duped & Keisha reacted to her Beautifully by not letting the tears impact the environment. Keisha was like answer the question please.
I agree with most of what Blair said, with the exception of Allen missing the opportunity to move the relationship forward. I don't think anything he said or did was going to keep Madison from going on her all-night run. Allen just made it easier because she used his comment as an excuse to leave, which is what she wanted to do anyway.
Alan is probably trying because so many emotional moments happened to him that he can't separate his emotions from the marriage. First, his step sister, who he hasn't had any contact with, wished him well, and his friend died. This man is probably putting so much into the marriage just so he doesn't think about his feelings.
I think Allen was put into a bad position. Not only is he being constantly rejected on national tv, I think he feels like he’s walking on eggshells. He doesn’t want to push back on her because he’s fearful that she’ll shut down all together. From day 1 Madison’s family told Allen he’s essentially ugly and not her type..
I think Madison and David have been fooling around since the honeymoon when they met in the gym. This can explain why Madison never connected to her own husband (and why David was so tolerant of Michelle's shenanigans). These two marriages have been stymied by infidelity before they actually got started.
This will sound terrible but Alan reminds me of a guy I dated briefly. I wasn’t immediately attracted to him but he seemed nice enough. Eventually his passive personality became an issue I couldn’t get over. The worse part was I gave him the play book on what he was doing that turning me off. I just lost my dad and I was in the middle of planning both his funeral and my sisters bridal shower. The few times we did hang out it was planned or initiated by me and I told him I was not doing that anymore. And I would love for him to take initiative moving forward. He said he would prefer if I continued doing that because I was so busy doing things for my family on top of working full time. I told him that’s putting more on my plate and it would be great if I didn’t have to plan ALL aspects of my life. He would not make any adjustments so after a few conversations about the same thing, I broke it off. This was 2 years ago. About six months ago, he reached out and he claimed that he has been seen as a pretty boy that plays games with women that’s why he wanted me to take the lead so much. I told him I didn’t want to take the lead 4 different times but he wasn’t able to change because to me that meant he didn’t have the capacity to lead. It was a strange thing because he seems to want to make me jealous because he was daring someone allegedly when he reached out to me to “explain” himself. Had the nerve to compare himself to Barack Obama. Said that Michelle thought he was corny and they made it and I was like … I love corny, that’s completely different from being a 45 year old man that is passive and dorsal. He was extremely feminine so I didn’t get how he would compare himself to Obama. I say all that to say, on the surface, Alan isn’t bad looking. However, his demeanor and lack of boundaries, lack of assertiveness and lack of confidence is extremely off putting. Does not make what Madison is doing ok. Just end it ma’am.
She is just being real. Men are very ugly toward beautiful women, in so many ways. Madison doesn't even trade on her looks. Alan is the one who caused separation between them by treating her like she is some alien from another planet (because of her looks). Now Michele would trade on looks in a heartbeat and is ALL about what it looks like...she is the definition of superficial.
Alan already knows about Madison and David!! So we are going to see his frustrations come out until it’s actually out! Don’t underestimate Alan! He knows what’s up! Let’s be real Madison is a party girl! Madison looks for reasons to go out partying! She is upset by what Alan said because deep down she knows it’s true! ( not the transactional comment) but she knew where Alan was coming from.
Yeah but Allen is dealing with a woman that lies constantly, and waiting for one big reason to blame Allen for the fall of the marriage, when we know there is no way in hell she will have a relationship with him( maybe if she is drunk, like in the wedding day, therefore the “transactional” word came in). Madison accused Allen of drunk and driving, when on camera he looked fine that night. Men in this abusive show have to be very careful how to express themselves.
I need Allen to realize his own self-worth at some point! He is 'the' catch in this marriage. I think he's quite cute (pretty eyes), smart & in his way, very charming! Madison is much too self-involved to realize what she has, her loss! Also, if this swap proves to involve her? She is also a below basic skank! Allen definitely deserved better, such a BAD Match!
Madison is transactional in her relationship with Alan, and the experts also force him into this position. He has to give and do in order to receive anything from Madison.
I think he was tired of trying to work this and kinda got mad and lashed out. Passive aggressive I see that. I also wonder if he felt something was fishy with her and low key called out.
Maddison was simply using WGTEars and lacking accountability. Allen was playing in her face about that dream. He knows she's messing with David, and he's tired of being her hype man. Honestly, he should've been paired with Emem. MAFS has been all about the drama and ratings since they moved to Lifetime. Now they're moving to Peacock.
im disappointed in Alan , there is no way I'd be o.k. with a new bride rolling in at 1:30 , or 3:30 a.m. with no explanation for where she was ! I think he is willing to eat a lot of shit to keep his "beautiful" bride ! she hasn't acted like a wife from day one ! if it turns out that she has been cheating as far back as the honeymoon no man going forward will trust her let alone marry her .
Absolutely love your show! Just have to respectfully disagree with both of your takes on Madison. I completely emphathize with her in this episode. I definitely think she is a beautiful woman, and she is very fit. Just being a beautiful woman, men treat you different and then if you have a body to match, men completely objectify you (and other women are jealous of you)---even if you don't trade on your looks. Alan is oblivious to what a struggle this can be for Madison to find someone who isn't superficial, like he is. He has the fast car and now he just wants Madison as another object to boost HIS self worth. Michele IS superficial and I believe Madison is the opposite. She can see David's worth because she simply wants someone who treats her like a woman, not a trophy, and someone who has her back. I think Alan is guilty of objectifying Madison EARLY on and decided he wanted her because of her looks and didn't ever TRULY try to get to know her. He wasn't being passive-aggressive, he was being chauvinistic. He characterized her simply based on looks, and didn't seek to treat her as a woman or his wife, just his trophy to conquer. Madison senses this early on and it makes her uncomfortable. So he ends up doing whatever he thought he had to do to "close the deal" instead of listening to her and connecting...like David probably did. Not right what Madison likely does with David, but I can absolutely see why Alan turns Madison off. He isn't a sucker, he is a typical sleezeball who just wants a notch on his belt and doesn't really care about Madison.
I really agree with your assessment in many ways, because as a young woman I was a “Madison”. I was very athletic, fit, and outgoing, and during puberty I really “blossomed”. Although I never thought I was “all that”, & I would have never, ever complained that I was “too beautiful”, blah,blah, but apparently a lot of men thought so. Yes, having men who wanted to ‘buy you’, or who saw you as a possession or an accessory was very annoying at times, so I get it, but… By signing onto a show like MAFS, it means that you’ve agreed to try to make it work with whoever you’re matched with. Alan was a dorky kid who didn’t fit in, and he tries too hard, so he feels very lucky to have an attractive wife. He wants to finally be one of the “cool kids”, & his car is a symbol of that. But I think that deep down he’s actually got substance. Madison started right in by judging him on superficial things, (the way she claims to feel judged herself). He wasn’t buffed or fit enough, he dressed weird, he’s not a gym rat, and as her sister so rudely told him, he wasn’t a “pretty boy”, the kind that Madison “likes”. So he started in the one-down position. Instead of trying to do things he liked too, or getting to really know him, she let him know that he had to try to fit in to her ideals & standards, and showing him that he’s not really important, & ghosting him every chance she gets, he feels hurt & angry, understandably. He needed to turn off the idol worship crap, and tell her how he feels straight up, not with passive aggressive comments or barbs. Maybe if they’d both let go of their petty bs sooner, they’d have had a chance, but it’s definitely not happening now. David acted the same way towards Michelle at first too, and he’s not real buffed or fit either, so maybe it just wasn’t meant to be?
I can absolutely understand why Alan moves the way he does. He watched his parents battle for custody of him for 14 years. Imagine what that does to a child. He said he lunged at the judge because he felt voiceless and invisible. Imo he never learned to assert himself in a healthy way as a result of the custody trauma. It absolutely shaped the Alan we see today. It's a miracle he's not as mean and bitter as Ikechi.
Blair I think you hit it on the head to question Madison’s emotional intelligence. It’s easy to call Allen a pushover but sometimes being assertive and leadership takes practice. I think her responses to Allen are evasive and she doesn’t help create a space for him to work on that skill with grace. Great deep dive!
I love these deep dives!💜
I think it was a calculated argument. She wants to say no on decision day. This gives her “a reason” to leave the marriage.
I thought Allen having a dream about the show having her marrying someone else was his subconscious trying to warn him about the cheating. He knows something is going on but he has been taught to believe what a woman says.
Allen was calling Madison’s behavior & absence from the apartment, she’s appears for the cameras
Madison's rudeness and Alan's always apologizing is EXHAUSTING.. 😴😴😴
Alan needs to get to stepping. With his exposure on the show he’ll do just fine. 😂
I agree 100% with Blair’s assessment of Allen. 😅I enjoy these deep dives.
Chrissssss, I know that’s you with that thumbnail!! 😂😂😂😂
Why you so loud lol 😂😂😂😂 🤫🤫🤫🤫
- Chris
You got me over here singing Eddie Murphy... "🗣️🎙️Partyyy allll the tiiiimmmeee"💃🏽💃🏽
Keep doing these deep dives please. I love hearing both perspectives.
Appreciate you watching!
In Allen’s defense look how she acted when he did get vulnerable and was honest with her. She’s manipulated that situation to ‘be hurt because she so pretty that it hurts!😢’ & run to the arms of David! She’s full off it! Allen was extremely clear by saying he didn’t have the words, didn’t want to offend and no longer thinks that way. Come on now, the man was be honest, & we kinda think the same! I agree with your assessment Blair!❤ !
Allen got duped & Keisha reacted to her Beautifully by not letting the tears impact the environment. Keisha was like answer the question please.
I agree with most of what Blair said, with the exception of Allen missing the opportunity to move the relationship forward. I don't think anything he said or did was going to keep Madison from going on her all-night run. Allen just made it easier because she used his comment as an excuse to leave, which is what she wanted to do anyway.
Alan is probably trying because so many emotional moments happened to him that he can't separate his emotions from the marriage. First, his step sister, who he hasn't had any contact with, wished him well, and his friend died. This man is probably putting so much into the marriage just so he doesn't think about his feelings.
I think Allen was put into a bad position. Not only is he being constantly rejected on national tv, I think he feels like he’s walking on eggshells. He doesn’t want to push back on her because he’s fearful that she’ll shut down all together. From day 1 Madison’s family told Allen he’s essentially ugly and not her type..
I think Madison and David have been fooling around since the honeymoon when they met in the gym. This can explain why Madison never connected to her own husband (and why David was so tolerant of Michelle's shenanigans). These two marriages have been stymied by infidelity before they actually got started.
Good point
“Marriage” was their cover story.
Great points by you both. Both views can be true but I love the male and female opinions. Such a great channel
Thank you!
This will sound terrible but Alan reminds me of a guy I dated briefly. I wasn’t immediately attracted to him but he seemed nice enough. Eventually his passive personality became an issue I couldn’t get over. The worse part was I gave him the play book on what he was doing that turning me off. I just lost my dad and I was in the middle of planning both his funeral and my sisters bridal shower. The few times we did hang out it was planned or initiated by me and I told him I was not doing that anymore. And I would love for him to take initiative moving forward. He said he would prefer if I continued doing that because I was so busy doing things for my family on top of working full time. I told him that’s putting more on my plate and it would be great if I didn’t have to plan ALL aspects of my life. He would not make any adjustments so after a few conversations about the same thing, I broke it off. This was 2 years ago.
About six months ago, he reached out and he claimed that he has been seen as a pretty boy that plays games with women that’s why he wanted me to take the lead so much. I told him I didn’t want to take the lead 4 different times but he wasn’t able to change because to me that meant he didn’t have the capacity to lead. It was a strange thing because he seems to want to make me jealous because he was daring someone allegedly when he reached out to me to “explain” himself. Had the nerve to compare himself to Barack Obama. Said that Michelle thought he was corny and they made it and I was like … I love corny, that’s completely different from being a 45 year old man that is passive and dorsal. He was extremely feminine so I didn’t get how he would compare himself to Obama.
I say all that to say, on the surface, Alan isn’t bad looking. However, his demeanor and lack of boundaries, lack of assertiveness and lack of confidence is extremely off putting. Does not make what Madison is doing ok. Just end it ma’am.
Awesome comment! Thanks for sharing.
It must be so hard to be Madison…no one ever takes her serious cause she’s so good looking…😂
Beauty fades BUT dumb is forever
She is just being real. Men are very ugly toward beautiful women, in so many ways. Madison doesn't even trade on her looks. Alan is the one who caused separation between them by treating her like she is some alien from another planet (because of her looks). Now Michele would trade on looks in a heartbeat and is ALL about what it looks like...she is the definition of superficial.
Alan already knows about Madison and David!! So we are going to see his frustrations come out until it’s actually out! Don’t underestimate Alan! He knows what’s up! Let’s be real Madison is a party girl! Madison looks for reasons to go out partying! She is upset by what Alan said because deep down she knows it’s true! ( not the transactional comment) but she knew where Alan was coming from.
Yeah but Allen is dealing with a woman that lies constantly, and waiting for one big reason to blame Allen for the fall of the marriage, when we know there is no way in hell she will have a relationship with him( maybe if she is drunk, like in the wedding day, therefore the “transactional” word came in). Madison accused Allen of drunk and driving, when on camera he looked fine that night. Men in this abusive show have to be very careful how to express themselves.
I need Allen to realize his own self-worth at some point! He is 'the' catch in this marriage.
I think he's quite cute (pretty eyes), smart & in his way, very charming!
Madison is much too
self-involved to realize what she has, her loss! Also, if this swap proves to involve her? She is also a below basic skank! Allen definitely deserved better, such a BAD Match!
Madison is transactional in her relationship with Alan, and the experts also force him into this position. He has to give and do in order to receive anything from Madison.
24:10 that is a great point Blair… but she still is being dense about the situation
In her world, Madison is cuter than the average WW. Being on the thin side is also a thing. Which she also is, that’s how I saw it. lol
I love the new thumbnail look
There is nothing open at 3 in the morning except someone’s legs.
I think he was tired of trying to work this and kinda got mad and lashed out. Passive aggressive I see that. I also wonder if he felt something was fishy with her and low key called out.
Maddison was simply using WGTEars and lacking accountability. Allen was playing in her face about that dream. He knows she's messing with David, and he's tired of being her hype man. Honestly, he should've been paired with Emem. MAFS has been all about the drama and ratings since they moved to Lifetime. Now they're moving to Peacock.
29? She ain’t 29!
im disappointed in Alan , there is no way I'd be o.k. with a new bride rolling in at 1:30 , or 3:30 a.m. with no explanation for where she was ! I think he is willing to eat a lot of shit to keep his "beautiful" bride ! she hasn't acted like a wife from day one ! if it turns out that she has been cheating as far back as the honeymoon no man going forward will trust her let alone marry her .
Absolutely love your show! Just have to respectfully disagree with both of your takes on Madison. I completely emphathize with her in this episode. I definitely think she is a beautiful woman, and she is very fit. Just being a beautiful woman, men treat you different and then if you have a body to match, men completely objectify you (and other women are jealous of you)---even if you don't trade on your looks. Alan is oblivious to what a struggle this can be for Madison to find someone who isn't superficial, like he is. He has the fast car and now he just wants Madison as another object to boost HIS self worth. Michele IS superficial and I believe Madison is the opposite. She can see David's worth because she simply wants someone who treats her like a woman, not a trophy, and someone who has her back.
I think Alan is guilty of objectifying Madison EARLY on and decided he wanted her because of her looks and didn't ever TRULY try to get to know her. He wasn't being passive-aggressive, he was being chauvinistic. He characterized her simply based on looks, and didn't seek to treat her as a woman or his wife, just his trophy to conquer. Madison senses this early on and it makes her uncomfortable. So he ends up doing whatever he thought he had to do to "close the deal" instead of listening to her and connecting...like David probably did. Not right what Madison likely does with David, but I can absolutely see why Alan turns Madison off. He isn't a sucker, he is a typical sleezeball who just wants a notch on his belt and doesn't really care about Madison.
I nvr heard this point of view before about Madison and Allen. It made me think. Hmmmm. Im gonna let this marinate for a little bit
- Chris
@@ItTakesTwoShow ❤
I really agree with your assessment in many ways, because as a young woman I was a “Madison”. I was very athletic, fit, and outgoing, and during puberty I really “blossomed”. Although I never thought I was “all that”, & I would have never, ever complained that I was “too beautiful”, blah,blah, but apparently a lot of men thought so. Yes, having men who wanted to ‘buy you’, or who saw you as a possession or an accessory was very annoying at times,
so I get it, but…
By signing onto a show like MAFS, it means that you’ve agreed to try to make it work with whoever you’re matched with. Alan was a dorky kid who didn’t fit in, and he tries too hard, so he feels very lucky to have an attractive wife. He wants to finally be one of the “cool kids”, & his car is a symbol of that. But I think that deep down he’s actually got substance. Madison started right in by judging him on superficial things, (the way she claims to feel judged herself). He wasn’t buffed or fit enough, he dressed weird, he’s not a gym rat, and as her sister so rudely told him, he wasn’t a “pretty boy”, the kind that Madison “likes”.
So he started in the one-down position. Instead of trying to do things he liked too, or getting to really know him, she let him know that he had to try to fit in to her ideals & standards, and showing him that he’s not really important, & ghosting him every chance she gets, he feels hurt & angry, understandably.
He needed to turn off the idol worship crap, and tell her how he feels straight up, not with passive aggressive comments or barbs. Maybe if they’d both let go of their petty bs sooner, they’d have had a chance, but it’s definitely not happening now. David acted the same way towards Michelle at first too, and he’s not real buffed or fit either, so maybe it just wasn’t meant to be?