I would love to hear about the relationship between Rhett and his brother after him leaving the church. Rhett's brother is a pastor and wonder how that changes the brotherly dynamic.
From personal experience leaving a faith, I'd say the change in relationship dynamics was the most difficult part for me, rather than the actual decision. So I think you're on the right track thinking about this.
From a Pentecostal church, I’d be worried for Rhett if he was my brother, but I know that he has made the decisions he’s made with his faith. There’s not much you can do, nor would it actually change my love for my relative. I hope their dynamic isn’t changed.
@@jonathanreyes-tt7ws You never stop loving your children or other relatives, or caring about them. It's not that you don't care anymore if they're not walking in faith, because it's for their sake that you feel badly, but you can't presume to know their hearts or thoughts or even their relationship with God just because they're not still going to a Baptist or Pentacostal church, or even an established (as in building) church.
As an only child, I can attest to “living to much in my own head” which often resulted in being nervous about a lot of social situations resulting in developing anxiety. I definitely think if I’d had a sibling to consult with about my fears would’ve taken the edge off.
yes, as an only child I also live in my own head. Specially when you are only child of a single parent. one becomes more aware of things, more observant perhaps.
I totally relate to this. Up until middle school I was so in my own head and then becoming a teenager is when that started to sort of ease up. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was around them I started developing more vibrant friendships and having things closer to siblings in my life.
Rhett talking about wanting a daughter and utilizing that energy with Barbara instead made me tear up 🥺🥺 I know he's a great dad to his boys but I'm a little sad for him that he didn't get that experience, I think it would've been really special for him and he's the type of guy who would've had a daddy's girl type of father daughter relationship for sure (ignore the gross association I refuse to let the creeps steal the term okay)
As a child who was spanked. It was humiliating, and it only taught me to hide things better. I don't blame my parents or think they were abusive, but it's definitely not the best way to go about raising a child
I would agree, although my parents did deal with it in a bit of a better way, spanking was reserved for only the most heinous crimes, while everything else usually got you a spot on time-out.
I think that’s what my dad realized over time, ever since I was four my dad never hit me, he did if I did something Really, Really bad. But growing up he didn’t spank me as much, I think it’s because he was wiped as a kid and he didn’t want to reflect that into his kids.
What makes me sad about being an only child, is that when my parents are gone I will be alone. And that is a scary thought. I always wished I had that built in best friend to support me through life. But then again, being an only child has also played a huge factor in making me who I am. So it really is a toss up.
This comment right here just swayed me to have another. (Not just this comment, it's been a years long convo with my husband and family.) We have a 5 year old daughter, and she's a really good kid. She sleeps great. Eats great. Smart. Kind. Etc. So we talk about just not having any more kids bc she is really great.
I am also an only child, and I've never thought about that. With your comment is the second time I hear about that feeling and I don't know if I can say the same. I have a really good relationship with my mother but when I think about not having her, that though of fear of being alone never crosses my mind...
I'm the opposite but that might be because my parents were bad. I will rather be alone than being around my parents because they were drunk a lot among other things. So the only issue I have is paying for the burial and dealing with the drama of my other family members after.
I’m an only child too and while that’s a sad and valid point, I think you can find just as much comfort from your “chosen” family as well- friends, life partners, or kids of your own
this became very much a reality for me, when my mom passed away unexpectedly a year and a half ago, it was VERY hard to deal with both practically and emotionally, because i have a grandmother who is physically limited, and a 'stepdad' (moms husband, not my dad) who turned out to be COMPLETELY useless, so i had to do EVERYTHING from organising the funeral to inheritance issues, to bills and all that, that it took me nearly a year before i actually felt like i was properly grieving and processing everything, before that it was just autopilot to get everything sorted. i could have used some emotional support, at least.. 😒
The first time someone told me “would you hit your spouse when they do something that upsets you or you disagree with? Would you hit your dog? So why would you hit your kid?” I never liked spanking as a parenting choice, and I was spanked until I was like 8 and it didn’t happen often. For me, my parents talking to me and expressing disappointment rather than making me feel fear or anger was WAY more impactful to change my behavior. and it really put it in perspective for me. I would never use violence to communicate with any living thing, why would someone do it to a defenseless child who is trying to figure out how to be a person and understand the world still. I understand that we often just replicate the culture that our parents taught us, and for a lot of parents that’s just what makes sense to them because that’s what their parents did but I’m really glad that spanking is now being examined more and people are breaking that cycle
I wasn’t spanked a ton as a kid, but I remember misbehaving and the things my parents did to discipline me and encourage better behavior, and spanking never motivated me to behave well. It just made me sad and angry, and it hurt.
@@CleverPsuedonym1 I was the same, it was humiliating and only made me not want to be CAUGHT misbehaving because I didn’t want to be hurt. And then it was really confusing because afterwards my father would wipe my face and tell me he didn’t want to “have to” do that. I think it’s a cycle that can make people easy to manipulate into abusive relationships as they get older as well.
@@seenaghoost Oh yeah it’s such a cyclical thing. I think it’s on the decline though. Generally my parents handled it fairly well (as well as you can, at least) and really moved away from it pretty quickly as I got older, but I just have to imagine not every parent is great about like, avoiding spanking out of anger or letting their emotions fuel it and stuff. It just seems like it’d be too easy to make a mistake in that way.
As the older daughter with a younger brother who was allowed to have girls in his room when I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room at the same time, I agree.
Yeah I had an older brother and as much as my parents tried to treat us the same I always had to come home earlier and couldn’t go on trips with friends at the same age he did
I remember being a very small child sitting on the stair seeing my sister get spanked and seeing her crying going through that was a terrible experience. She got over it fine but I never forgot it. Has to be better ways to dicipline children than painful humiliation.
Shouldn't discipline in front of the other children. It isn't abusive unless there is very real harm. Small spanks on a bottom is not a big deal. But maybe that is me being in my 30s with older siblings. We had good parents. Who sacrificed a lot and are happily married still. And it isnt fake. It is gross how much they flirt. DX
@@krisj5561 I never said it was abuse, I believe children need to be disciplined I was just trying to express that there are better ways than this particular form of discipline (spanking) or any physical/psychological forms of discipline for that matter. It wasn't done in front of me either, I snuck onto the stairs and saw it happen. I just felt bad for my sister and hated the humiliation aspect of it.
I feel that whenever I was spanked as a child, it moderately traumatized me. I would personally never cause physical harm to my child or any child, even if it was in a way that was not "aggressive". It sets up the narrative that being physically handled in such a way is acceptable later on in life if you "misbehave" (in adulthood).
Agreed. I've got a litany of mental health problems from being brought up in a southern home by parents who never even considered any other form of punishment. I still get a wave of anxiety even listening to discussions like this.
not only does it show kids that they can be physically handled if they misbehave, but it can also give the kids an example that the way to deal with things that upset them is to physically lash out
@@212melc I am so sorry you had to go through that sort of punishment. I thankfully didn’t get spanked/hit much as a child, but it is still upsetting to think about.
@@-Fozzy- yeah, short term (theres literally so much research confirming this), it causes bad behavior and aggression long term. And also, it stops behavior with FEAR and HUMILIATION and ABUSE instead of understanding, sympathy, and self reflection.
My parents used to hit me with the belt, I'll say way too often but not hard. Still It got me to be MORE scared of them and hid sirious things that I should've been able to share with them and ask for their help.
My mother was an only child, and my dad was the middle of three. I am the oldest of seven, but there is only five years and eleven months between me and the youngest sister! We cover SO many personalities that it’s hard to nail them down at this stage. (We are all in our sixties now.)
I am also an only child and I’ve been watching gmm for like 8 years and I have always related to link and I find myself saying “ofc he’d say that he’s an only child”
I love that you guys just own your past like that and can speak candidly on what your beliefs and what your actions were and how they’ve changed- and which have not! I love this honesty.
I'm an only child, and I relate a lot to Link about the anxiety and having to "catch up" socially as a teen. I definitely have felt pressure to be very successful at everything, being my mom's one and only kid. I think that's a burden we bear as an only child, anyone agree?
I planned on only having one child but worked very hard on giving them opportunities to become very independent and able to take another’s needs into account and also make them more independent. They went to summer camp at a fairly young age for two months at a time and as a preteen and teenager traveled the world with a group of other preteens and teens that really encouraged working with others and being independent at the same time. I realize I was very fortunate to be able to provide those experiences. They have grown into a very caring independent individual. The only issue I see is that they do seem to require a little more quiet time and space than their spouse, who came from an extremely large family.
The montero video wasn't just to upset people it was an amazing petty clapback at how he was treated just for being gay and I freaking love it. I was never taught to hate anyone apart of the community in fact I'm apart of the community myself and how people have treated and talked to us is gross so when that song came out and I watched the video and listened to the lyrics it made my heart happy. Now I was never told not to listen to certain music whether it was edited or not so i don't do it with my kids
I will say please don't say anything to parents about only one child. My husband and I have desperately tried for a second, and have lost 8. We have been through fertility treatment for three years and it's been the most heartbreaking, horrible experience. My daughter wants a sibling so badly and I feel like a broken woman unable to give that to her. When someone says "you need to give that girl a brother or sister!" I shatter inside. So please, never ever say that to anyone.
i can't wait for rhett to have a little girl granbaby!! she'll have her grandpa wrapped around her little finer and it'll be rhett's greatest love for sure. my dad has three girls and my sister has a daughter. and even though he loved all three of us and i never felt like he played favorites or anything like that, i can tell now that my niece is his most favorite and she loves him just as much. and it brings me so much joy.
I had three best friends from huge families, I recall one friend had never drank fresh orange juice until they started coming over to my house. I'm pretty sure all three of these friends liked hanging out at my house was because it was so quiet; there was always a good amount and variety of meals at dinner (one friend loved coming over after school to have giant fresh veggies garden salads or homemade, hot crisp tacos or burritos; there never was fighting over tv ; and no chores to do if they stayed over night.
Enjoying listening now! Just wanted to say Happy Mothers Day to 2 great moms... Jessie & Christy!!! I hope they have a great day! Thank you Rhett, Link & the Mythical crew for all that you do! You guys have gotten me through some tough times! 💜Mythical Beast(and mom of 3 boys) from Newnan,GA!
Im one of those that were spanked and was traumatised. It wasnt often and it wasnt too violent, but it made me a violent and angry kid. Then i was a depressed and scared teen, and then an angry adult, furious at my parents for doing that to me (and my little sister). We talked about it with my mom and it made me feel a little better to hear that she knew she wasnt doing the right thing. Im still dealing with the consequences, and im SO afraid to have kids bc im already so fixated on doing and saying the right things to them, because i dont want my kids to have a traumatic childhood
There's an important shift from protecting to preparing. I really respect Link for teaching that to live life fully you need to learn to bring down the walls.
I am the youngest of 4 but the 3 older siblings are 12-14 years older than me. I felt like an only child growing up because they all moved out of the house when I was little and basically had my own toys and did what I wanted. My personality definitely reflected on not having siblings in the house. I like being alone now because that's what I was used to.
Thank you guys for talking about disability so openly and with respect. I'm physically disabled and so is one of my brothers, but he has more needs than I do so I have somewhat of a caretaker role in my family too. It means a lot to me coming from both perspectives how you value these types of families and people like us.
Well, I was abused and I turned out great. I'm a strong, independent, passionate, and empathetic individual. Yes, I have daddy issues but every day I make sure to heal my inner shadow person to make sure my toxicity isn't leaking out on any of my loved ones. So, yes. Someone who was "spanked" could also turn out fine.
@@leannamarie1318 I was also spanked as a child and the only way through is to recognize and deal with the trauma. My point was it makes your life harder, and I’m specifically talking about the people who just ignore it and continue to perpetuate the cycle of abuse while also claiming they turned out fine. Good for us for working through our trauma and becoming stronger people because of it.
I was, and I think a big reason I'm "fine" is because I'm naturally very level headed and deal with my shit relatively well anyway. Also because I have a pretty good relationship with my mom, and we've talked about these things. Other peopl who are more distant with their parents do seem to struggle with that more.
@@meykav i don't know if it systematically makes your life worse, I think there's degrees of traumatic vs uncomfortable spanking. People make the difference between that and hitting, which idk if there should be a difference tbh, physical punishment is what it is, but like Rhett says, there's a difference in where it's coming from. My experience was getting spanked out of anger or desperation, but usually after the misbehaving, cuz my mom would get all the bad news right after coming home from work, usually to more work, so she didn't have the bandwidth for calmer, more thoughtful disciplinary measures, per se. I don't agree with it, but it is different than hurting your kid all the time for any little thing and then saying it's for their own good. My mom started going to therapy more often and I was always in therapy as a child, so we managed to talk about it and come to an agreement on what was fair was punishment and what wasn't ok. I feel pretty fortunate to have (usually) reasonable parents who just want the best for me, I know many people don't have that, and then hitting can really mess someone up for life.
"Spanked" every day, by hand or with a yardstick. Spent my childhood walking on eggshells, never knew what would set her off. I hated it, but had to deal with it. I turned out as fine as I could, considering. This was just the way it was when I was a kid back in the good old days. My Mother would have been locked up int the present time.
These podcasts have become such a source of comfort for me that I now listen to them to go to sleep. There’s something about Rhett and link that soothes me right to sleep.
So I'm an older sibling and disabled and my closest sister in age is 5 years younger and she did have to learn how to accommodate my disability and help me physically when I needed it but I was always very much the one in charge and the big sister wanting to look after her. I think probably the hardest thing for her was the lack of attention focused on her when I was very poorly, when one child is crying in pain you aren't really focused on what the other one is doing and so as a kid she very much always wanted to be the centre of attention and clashed with my mum a lot more than I did and still does (she's 15). I also have a stepsister and two much younger brothers and a absolutely adore my baby brothers. They are 5 and 20 months and the 5 year old wants to spend every second of every day with me and makes me feel so loved and I'm by nature a very maternal person and they give me an outlet for that urge other than my dog. They also give me a sense of confidence for having my own kids because I've been helping raise them since they were born and they don't seem traumatised by me being in pain and even with my physical limitations I'm able to look after them by myself and adapt and figure out ways to say transfer from my bed to my wheelchair while looking after a baby ect.
I have a theory that if the oldest child doesn’t fit the role of the perfectionist, then the second born will take it over. At least, that’s what happened in my family because the oldest kid rebeled.
Yes for sure. That's what happened in my family. My sister who is 5 years older rebelled and my mom always would say "at least I have one good kid" and when I was going through a rough time in my life my mom would always say "you were supposed to be the good one". 😑
33:08 “you had assertive parents and you had an older brother and I had-I had myself.” Whoa wtf I’m crying now. That hit so hard, oh my gosh Link I felt that.
So I am kind of an anomaly (though I know I am not the only one out there) out of the kids that came from my dad plus my mom I am an only child, out of all my siblings I am a middle child, out of my dad's children I am the youngest child, and out of my mom's children I am the oldest child. I am the omni-child. It is always fun blowing people's minds when I tell them this.
same, i have 10 siblings i am the middle of *all* of my stepmoms children, the middle of my dads 3 daughters (he has an older and younger daughter, i am the middle of those 3), i am the youngest of my moms 3 daughters my stepmoms oldest 3 kids are already out of the house, and she still has 3 younger kids, and i’m the oldest, which makes me the 4th of her younger group of kids if that makes sense 😭😭😭
Just listened to the Thursday episode of how you guys dealt with COVID as a company, and I’m here to say that I had never heard of you guys until the pandemic began, and in a way without all that down time I don’t know that I would have ever found y’all, so just here to say that your efforts were not vain and proud of you guys as a company and the whole crew who made it all work out! Happy to forever be a mythical beast!!
I’m a twin. My parents were only going for 3 kids but then twins popped out & so I used to joke that my “younger” twin by 2 mins, 9 secs, is the “unwanted child” lol. It’s true but we love her just the same 😂
I'm a twin but I'm 2 minutes older! Idk if any of these apply to me and my brother. It's nice to always have someone going through the same life stages as you at the same time. College was the only time we didn't go to the same school or were in the same class (I went to an all women's college). There are so many studies on identical twins but I think it'd be interesting to have more research on fraternal twins as well.
Spanking is absolutely abusive. It doesn’t teach children how to regulate their emotions. It only teaches them to fear expressing their emotions. If you were to hit another adult, it would be considered abuse. It should be the same for children. I’m not saying every parent that spanked in the past is an abusive parent or a bad parent, but I think it’s incorrect to say that spanking isn’t always abuse
I'm younger than my sister of 7 years, and I definitely consider myself younger and almost like an only child. She got spankings and I never had any, My parents had no problem warning me about spanking or punishing me, but they never had to because I watched my sister and learned what not to do. I was also considered the outgoing one of the 2. I don't see myself being that social butterfly my mom always called me, but also in comparison to my sister I totally was. I think a lot of these ideas we have about sibling roles also come from putting these ideas on to our children. I don't know how much of this would hold true for families, but I worked with children and have a child development certification and these are things that I notice.
I was a lonely only child..Always the new kid with family moving every year for whatever reasons they felt at the time...I played with MY G.I Joe's!! Sharing this just made my heart so full..Thank you guys for being so candid! I got emotional! My upbringing is eerily similar
To find a new Ear Biscuit so soon after its uploading is like finding an actual biscuit just moments ago discarded. It’s delicious. There was no reason for it to be discarded. Goodbye.
What's interesting is that I was never spanked "often" but when I was I always felt something to the notion of "yeah I was being a little brat tbh" only because I think my parents would sit down and talk to me about why they felt it was necessary and usually it was just my dad but his reasoning was almost always "you weren't listening and I asked politely to get your attention but that wasn't working so I had very little options to get your attention to something about your behavior."
I have 3 older brothers, I'm the youngest and only girl. Being female I got some different treatment, both to my benefit and detriment. My brothers thought I was more spoiled, but I just didn't have to share or get many hand-me-downs because I was girly. But then as I got older, rules were a lot more strict for me, my dad was overprotective, I wasn't allowed to to a lot of things that my brothers were allowed to do. The 2 oldest brothers also were raised differently than us 2 younger kids, and that still shows in our adult lives. Our parents' divorce happened at a time that changed how we were brought up compared to the other 2, their childhoods were more stable, so we got a bit left behind amongst everything going on. There are countless factors that play into how we are raised and how it shapes us. Some tropes are somewhat true, but there is just so much at play.
Thanks again for sharing and talking about this subject. I always love insight on people who are only children. Our son is an only child and we did everything we could to create memories all through his childhood, his education was always important, he’s now 22 and in less than a month will graduate with his masters in mathematics and will shortly begin school again for his PhD. He’s a great kid, well young adult now, he doesn’t drink or do drugs and has never wanted to, he easily made it through all of his schooling till this point, it’s only recently he’s had to put time in studying, oddly enough he Tudors as well as works as a teacher’s assistant at the college, so theirs a small group of people he can study with. We couldn’t be more proud of him. I often wonder if some of his success and drive is because he’s always gotten all our attention and we’ve always been there for everything and always encouraged anything he did but it was easy because he was a great kid that didn’t give us problems, his teachers were always impressed at how smart he is and how good he is with other people. We were worried for him when he began high school that he’d be picked on because he’s smarter, he never had any issues with anyone and always did his own thing and still does. In his senior year he was prom king, he never played a sport, he was the photographer for the year book, but in my day the only people voted prom king and queen were the popular jocks and cheerleaders. He managed to break the norm. He was one of seven to give a speech at the graduation. We couldn’t be more proud. My wife and I still find it difficult to live without him in our home. Watching your children grow and move on in life to a different phase is both incredible because we are so proud but also hurting inside because it’s losing a part of life that you will never have again. It’s a thing in life I never saw coming and it’s getting easier to deal with the adjustments of living together without him there all the time is a difficult thing to deal with. Thanks again for talking about your perspectives and others. Take care, stay safe and healthy.
As an only child, I never once wished I had a sibling. I’ll admit it made me a bit spoiled and stubborn, but also self sufficient. My parents gave me the world and we have a special bond as a small family. I wouldn’t dissuade people from having one kid because there are many great things about it for both the parents and kid.
I would totally agree with you I'm also an only child and have always been more of an independent and extraverted person so for me it worked out nicely
@@brookekirkpatrick836 it definitely made me more introverted personally. Growing up with so much alone time makes me require a lot of it as an adult but I don’t think that’s a bad thing 🤷🏼♀️
I'm an only child too, and so are my parents so my family is very small. I think growing up an only child is fine. You make friends and it seems just as good as growing up any other way. Friends have asked what it's like when thinking about having their own kids, and I always tell them not to worry about that part. The sad truth is it's growing OLD an only child that's painful. Being the sole caretaker of aging parents is something I've come to dread one day as I've watched my parents both go through it. And then eventually you lose them and you are alone in the world unless you have a spouse/children of your own. Sorry to take it so dark.
I like the idea of watching/listening to podcasts but never thought I had the attention span for that. Thank you Rhett and Link for proving me wrong, I have genuinely really enjoyed this video all the way through...I'm an oldest child, btw.
I have older sister ( 5yrs older) & as far as I’m concerned, she might as well have been in another family. She never gave me advice, or really even talked much to me. It was only 5 yr difference but it was significant because when I was in 1st grade, she was in jr high & by time I was in jr high, she was senior in HS & ready to graduate. We had nothing in common
@Pinnacle Weirdo we kinda had same experiences. They were so far ahead of us in school, like we didn’t exist, lol. My sister went to community college & also had job so she’d be home, but she was either at school, working, or with her friends. I mean 5 yrs isn’t much once people get older but it’s a world of difference when in school. I was graduating HS & she was married. To this day, I’ve not spoken to my sister in over 40years! Total opposite personalities. She was a Debbie downer & I like humor, laughing, having fun. She tried her hardest to get my parents to not want me around but I still lived at home😂. Where did she think they were gonna throw me? She only made herself look like a psycho & they actually distanced themselves from her! Dysfunctional family! I’m just my own person & I don’t need her humiliating me in front of family or public places 🙄
@@abhinavsrivastava9909 I wish, wouldn’t hurt but far from it. My wealth isn’t measured in fiat currency it’s measured in the happiness and joy I get from raising 2 amazing kids who will end up being 2 amazing adults who will give me grandchildren, nothing will ever compare or replace that feeling and no amount of money even comes close to the feeling you get when your first child is born, an indescribable emotion and you know at that very moment, your life is changed forever and your needs become secondary behind your child, nothing else matters except making sure they’re safe and healthy, I hope one day you get to experience that happiness cause it’s worth every second of every day. I could of been more financially prepared when my children came along but I’ve always been a hard worker (first job at 15) but I buckled down and dedicate(ed) my life from that point forward to them and one day you will to 😁
My sister is 8 years older than me, and I learned a lot from her experience about what not to do, whether it was at home, in school, or living on my own and working. A lot of decisions I made in life were direct results of the things my sister did that had negative results.
As an only child, I can agree with the over all anxiety and anxiety with social situations. Though I don't remember feeling lonely as child. I did things alone frequently and even as an adult I don't feel uncomfortable or sad when I do things by myself. Being an only child was/is mostly positive for me.
As an only child, everything that was mentioned really resonates with me. Growing up it felt fine but thinking back now it would have been to have someone to confine in, hang out with, and learn things from because it is hard to go to your parents sometimes. I'll also never be an aunt which is kind of a bummer as well. Idk if I will ever get married and have kids but I imagine having more than one so they don't go through the loneliness or at least marry someone with siblings so I at least get some connection to that family dynamic
I'm an older sibling and very introverted and really feel what Link was saying about missing out on that extra knowledge that comes with an older sibling. Not having a bit of guidance in that sense maybe contributed to a lot of my lack of confidence and anxiety.
I am a middle child and can I just say, parents: Please check in with your middle children. What you may perceive as quiet and independent might not be that. It might be a feeling of being left out waiting for permission to join in. Even just a "Hey how's it going?" I never got asked that. I rarely got invited to things, I still don't. Just check in with them more when they're younger before they close off too much.
I really relate to the tweet at 1:00:50. I'm also an only child and it took me until college to begin developing socially, with the added factor that I'm gay and struggled with that for quite a while. Today, at 35, I feel that my personality has been shaped by all the isolation and I tend to be quite the loner.
I have always said if you have one, you should have multiples. I think being an only child puts a lot of pressure on one kid. Thanks for confirming my thoughts as an only child Link. I myself am a baby - but I had a unique childhood parenting my parents. My older brother and I basically raised ourselves in many ways - so creates a different level of personalities.
I am an oldest child with two younger siblings, I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian mother, and my brothers were raised by a wild hippy pagan, despite the fact that we had the same mother. My mom also left a Calvinist branch of Christianity when I was young, so it’s crazy how much different my childhood was to that of my brothers.
I am an only child, but my personality is much more similar to Rhett than Link for what it’s worth. My former best friend is a LOT like Link, but has a (significantly) younger sibling.
I fit a couple of categories in that I am statistically a middle child but my half brother is 8 years older than I am so my memories of him don’t start till I was 5 or 6 years old so he was in high school and not around that much. My younger sister is exactly 2 years younger than me and we were very close. I didn’t get into the whole “what child are you and how did it effect you” until I was a mom with 2 boys. In some instances I think it explains a lot about me now.
This is what I miss, link and Rhett just chilling talking about something, I watch these more than actual gmm episodes because it’s more like how it used to be, back before every episode had to be a game or a taste test
I have to say, as the older child and the "Rule Follower", I relate to the part about still feeling awkward "Breaking Rules" now. I'm 27 years old and I still feel bad doing anything that feels like it might be breaking a rule or not following directions exactly as given.
Thanks so much for doing Ear Biscuits guys!🙌 Getting to know you better on a deeper level is always great, and I appreciate that you're honest about mistakes, things you still don't know, ways you're trying to grow and learn. Too many people in the public eye prefer to act like they've got it all figured out and hide normal human frailties, which is not a healthy thing for anyone to be or admire. And, I love the idea of quadruple Lily's! The world could use a million more like her💯👍☺
I am the 2nd of 4 children, so my sister and I were both middle children, and there's isn't much talk about this, but in my case, having two middle children, we did fit the stereotype of being ignored or not cared about as much as the other two, but because there were two of us, we have an inseparable bond and were always really close and would complain and make fun of the rest of the family together. Any other double middle children can confirm or deny this specific idea?
I’m 58 this year and the oldest of 5. I was another adult at 8, my best friends were my grandmother and 3 great aunts I was old headed at a young age. I’m old enough to have had the belt at school I was punished at home when needed, I don’t feel it did me any harm. I have 3 adult kids and 8 grandkids my son has 6 kids , 5 boys 1 girl and my daughter has 2 sons. My two brothers caused lots of problems with drink and drugs and my youngest brother died 2 years ago through drugs at 48. They both felt hard done by and we don’t know why they were brought up the same as us. It’s really good you get to chose your friends sometimes as they become family.
Middle children here and no stereotypes in my family. Age differences are 4 years between my older brother and I and 5 years between my younger sister and I. Our parents treated each of us the same.
50:41 I and my older brother had this exact thing too. It would be the same. I loved math always and he would tell me when I go to 5th, later 9th, later 11th grade, I will hate it. Then I got to those grades, never hated it.
Link: i wish i had an older brother so i can get to know stuff like music Also link: i had a step sister who liked music And that's why i hated music as a child 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, I had a smiliar situation to Link, grew up a single child, felt super lonely, rarely did things for fun because most of my outings were with my mom and great aunt, or being alone at one of my dad's work rehearsals and stuff. Then I got a half sister when I was 8, but I'd only spend time with her two, maybe three, days a week, so we didn't grow up together. Two years after she was born we got a brother, so they've had that sibling experience and I see their dynamic, but in most situations I'm an only child. I'm 20 now, they're 12 and 10, so we're starting to have a better relationship, less fighting and more understanding each other, having more things in common, etc. But yeah, he's definitely a younger brother, but on the quiet side, is finally learning to stand his ground, and she's super bossy, very energetic and commanding, but I'm still the almighty older sister when I'm with them (rarely nowadays since we live in different countries :/), so it's an interesting dynamic for sure.
I have 3 children. My middle child doesn't fit the middle child stereotype in my opinion but if u ask her.......she identifies as middle child lol Edit to say.....my parenting changed as well though, my first 2 got spanked and it turned into time outs and my 3rd never has been spanked (that I remember, let's be honest) and the first 2 ruled my TV with cartoons, my 3rd played with toys.....again I changed my parenting into a more mature parenting as I matured
I find it so hilarious that people considered Harry Potter to be anti-Christian because of "witchcraft" when Harry is one of the most Christ-like figures you can find in children's literature
Kids of different ages need to be treated differently, obviously. What is appropriate for one age group is not appropriate for another. Every person also has a different personality type which determines how they should be taught, disciplined and interacted with.
My 2 cents to the convo: I was the smallest of the 3 children, I watched the Captain planet episode where he urged parents to have only 2 kids and felt kinda sad over it. After my brother moved out when I was around 6 it was like I was the only child. I hated how my parents spoiled me. I couldn't say "wow that toy/ drawing product looks cool" bc they would try to buy it, and I would have to convince them 'its okay, I don't want it'. I don't like how they didn't teach me about important things I had to later in life (general life advice etc.) but it iz what it iz
All that physically disciplining a child teaches them is that it's okay for someone to hurt you as long as its out of love. I don't think I need to explain how this can be a profound issue.
Loved this episode. But as someone from the rural and religious south & who was also spanked, I want to reinforce that spanking IS abuse, and it's NEVER ok to hit your child. It doesn't matter if it's on the butt. Communicate with your child the way you want them to communicate with you. also the statement "I was spanked and turned out fine.." is old and worn out. Because even if YOU don't realize it, you're probably not fine. I trust that Link is a good person/parent and that he just needs more perspective and information on this.
As an only child of a divorced couple (and adopted by them), I have no 'dad humour' or 'mom humour' (my mom never makes jokes , but she laughs at them). But I have my humour! Which is a mix of everything funny that I enjoy, GMM being at the top.
I'm a twin with an older brother (so just us 3) but it makes it harder to put me and my twin in the middle/younger role because we are only minutes apart.
I think my mom did an amazing job at not treating us differently because of our birth order, but more because we were different people. While we still had typical sibling rivalry, but no resentment.
Interestingly my older brother was rarely spanked. I was spanked much more readily. I’ve had the wooden spoon, the tea towel or the hand. I had a lot more restrictions as a girl than my brother did as a boy, with curfews and what we were allowed to get away with. I’ll say I turned out a lot more well behaved than my brother 😂
I'm the middle child of three and the only boy and I am definitely not like my sisters at all. I try to be inconspicuous and observe rather than get in on the action. Because of this I am frequently ignored in conversations. For example I could be telling a whole story and someone will inevitably say "What were you just talking about?" Or not acknowledge that I said anything at all. It's frustrating so I try not to really talk in a group. What's strange is that my mom is also a middle child but she's outgoing. However she also can't ever get a word in so we share that trait. Birth order is a fascinating thing and there are advantages and disadvantages to being oldest, middle, youngest, or only child.
As a born-again Christian who has enjoyed Rhett & Link's genuine and honest content for almost a decade, especially throughout their spiritual deconstructions, I would just like to say that the verse about training a child in the way it should go, is one of the most misunderstood verses in the Bible. It does not mean, "raise a child to be a perfect Christian, and they will stay a perfect Christian their entire life". A more correct translation would be, "if you raise a child according to their natural disposition, it will affirm their personality and not lead to identity issues." Which, ironically, agrees with the more "modern" or "post-Christian" philosophies Rhett and Link are holding to.
I was honestly kinda shocked when the spanking topic was brought up in the episode and while reading the comment section I realized how common it seems in the states campared to where I live... it’s been illegal in Sweden since 1979 so you never really hear of it over hear
As a Swede, my old classmate got spanked by her parents. I was really shocked when she casually mentioned it. Her parents didn't grow up here so that definitely plays a part in it. But regardless, i do believe it HAPPENS (way less than in the US) but no one would admit to doing it.
@@LitcheTheArsm you’re absolutely right, it would be wrong of me to assume it never happens, it just feels like the general idea here is that’s it’s wrong 🤔
There have been several studies that show that spanking particularly consistent, rough, angered sessions can cause severe issues, both short and long term. (Note: I am not at all mad at you, it is just something that I would advise against).
Rhett: "We did a little boopity-boop research..."
I love how that's just an accepted part of the Rhett & Link lexicon now lol
I would love to hear about the relationship between Rhett and his brother after him leaving the church. Rhett's brother is a pastor and wonder how that changes the brotherly dynamic.
From personal experience leaving a faith, I'd say the change in relationship dynamics was the most difficult part for me, rather than the actual decision. So I think you're on the right track thinking about this.
oh woah, is he still a pastor to this day?
From a Pentecostal church, I’d be worried for Rhett if he was my brother, but I know that he has made the decisions he’s made with his faith. There’s not much you can do, nor would it actually change my love for my relative. I hope their dynamic isn’t changed.
@@jonathanreyes-tt7ws luckily they are all ready saved
@@jonathanreyes-tt7ws You never stop loving your children or other relatives, or caring about them. It's not that you don't care anymore if they're not walking in faith, because it's for their sake that you feel badly, but you can't presume to know their hearts or thoughts or even their relationship with God just because they're not still going to a Baptist or Pentacostal church, or even an established (as in building) church.
"If it ain't broke don't have anymore children" 🤣😂
As an only child, I can attest to “living to much in my own head” which often resulted in being nervous about a lot of social situations resulting in developing anxiety. I definitely think if I’d had a sibling to consult with about my fears would’ve taken the edge off.
yes, as an only child I also live in my own head. Specially when you are only child of a single parent. one becomes more aware of things, more observant perhaps.
I totally relate to this. Up until middle school I was so in my own head and then becoming a teenager is when that started to sort of ease up. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was around them I started developing more vibrant friendships and having things closer to siblings in my life.
Rhett talking about wanting a daughter and utilizing that energy with Barbara instead made me tear up 🥺🥺 I know he's a great dad to his boys but I'm a little sad for him that he didn't get that experience, I think it would've been really special for him and he's the type of guy who would've had a daddy's girl type of father daughter relationship for sure (ignore the gross association I refuse to let the creeps steal the term okay)
I appreciate you guys adding younger siblings with disabled older siblings in this conversation.
oh my goodness i’m only 2 mins in but this is my situation so i’m so excited to hear them talk about it!
As a caretaker for the disabled this really made me smile as well.
As a child who was spanked. It was humiliating, and it only taught me to hide things better. I don't blame my parents or think they were abusive, but it's definitely not the best way to go about raising a child
I would agree, although my parents did deal with it in a bit of a better way, spanking was reserved for only the most heinous crimes, while everything else usually got you a spot on time-out.
You have spoken my mind. It only hurt my feelings. The people I loved and looked to for safety were hitting me. That's all I remember.
I think that’s what my dad realized over time, ever since I was four my dad never hit me, he did if I did something Really, Really bad. But growing up he didn’t spank me as much, I think it’s because he was wiped as a kid and he didn’t want to reflect that into his kids.
@@Iamme_30663 holy crap, I've always had a hatred for bad parents
I mean, it was abusive, but that was not the thinking of most people had. It was normal back in the day.
"The adventures of Satan and his demons"😂😂 "are you into that"
had me dying 🤣🤣
I googled that title afterward because it came so naturally to him I assumed it was a real book 😆 I kind of wish it were haha!
Am I the only one that loves sleeping to these
me too. it helps that they’re so boring.
I like watching or listening to em the first time and then make a playlist with a few I've already heard to fall asleep to.
I don't mean to fall asleep! But after working a night shift... Falling asleep AND waking up to the calm vibe is my favorite.
I use noise to fall asleep and podcasts work well. I use a DND campaign, so I start imagining all these fanciful things as I drift off.
@@happyfuntimepewpew Then why are you watching?
GMM and ear biscuits are one of the most comforting things to me in all of life, it’s like coming home from a long trip every time I watch or listen.
I agree. It’s a nice way to start my day because it helps me feel less alone, like catching up with old friends and hearing about all their hijinks!
This is unrelated, but your hair is really cool :-)
You nailed it
What makes me sad about being an only child, is that when my parents are gone I will be alone. And that is a scary thought. I always wished I had that built in best friend to support me through life. But then again, being an only child has also played a huge factor in making me who I am. So it really is a toss up.
This comment right here just swayed me to have another. (Not just this comment, it's been a years long convo with my husband and family.) We have a 5 year old daughter, and she's a really good kid. She sleeps great. Eats great. Smart. Kind. Etc. So we talk about just not having any more kids bc she is really great.
I am also an only child, and I've never thought about that. With your comment is the second time I hear about that feeling and I don't know if I can say the same. I have a really good relationship with my mother but when I think about not having her, that though of fear of being alone never crosses my mind...
I'm the opposite but that might be because my parents were bad. I will rather be alone than being around my parents because they were drunk a lot among other things. So the only issue I have is paying for the burial and dealing with the drama of my other family members after.
I’m an only child too and while that’s a sad and valid point, I think you can find just as much comfort from your “chosen” family as well- friends, life partners, or kids of your own
this became very much a reality for me, when my mom passed away unexpectedly a year and a half ago, it was VERY hard to deal with both practically and emotionally, because i have a grandmother who is physically limited, and a 'stepdad' (moms husband, not my dad) who turned out to be COMPLETELY useless, so i had to do EVERYTHING from organising the funeral to inheritance issues, to bills and all that, that it took me nearly a year before i actually felt like i was properly grieving and processing everything, before that it was just autopilot to get everything sorted.
i could have used some emotional support, at least.. 😒
The first time someone told me “would you hit your spouse when they do something that upsets you or you disagree with? Would you hit your dog? So why would you hit your kid?” I never liked spanking as a parenting choice, and I was spanked until I was like 8 and it didn’t happen often. For me, my parents talking to me and expressing disappointment rather than making me feel fear or anger was WAY more impactful to change my behavior. and it really put it in perspective for me. I would never use violence to communicate with any living thing, why would someone do it to a defenseless child who is trying to figure out how to be a person and understand the world still. I understand that we often just replicate the culture that our parents taught us, and for a lot of parents that’s just what makes sense to them because that’s what their parents did but I’m really glad that spanking is now being examined more and people are breaking that cycle
I wasn’t spanked a ton as a kid, but I remember misbehaving and the things my parents did to discipline me and encourage better behavior, and spanking never motivated me to behave well. It just made me sad and angry, and it hurt.
@@CleverPsuedonym1 I was the same, it was humiliating and only made me not want to be CAUGHT misbehaving because I didn’t want to be hurt. And then it was really confusing because afterwards my father would wipe my face and tell me he didn’t want to “have to” do that. I think it’s a cycle that can make people easy to manipulate into abusive relationships as they get older as well.
@@seenaghoost Oh yeah it’s such a cyclical thing. I think it’s on the decline though.
Generally my parents handled it fairly well (as well as you can, at least) and really moved away from it pretty quickly as I got older, but I just have to imagine not every parent is great about like, avoiding spanking out of anger or letting their emotions fuel it and stuff. It just seems like it’d be too easy to make a mistake in that way.
I agree, I think one of the best ways I've heard it described was a parental temper tantrum.
@@aussiecountry9320 thats such a good term, I totally agree
I do think that daughters have stricter rules to follow than sons who have more freedom
As the older daughter with a younger brother who was allowed to have girls in his room when I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room at the same time, I agree.
Probably. parents tend to be extra protective of their daughters
Yeah I had an older brother and as much as my parents tried to treat us the same I always had to come home earlier and couldn’t go on trips with friends at the same age he did
I remember being a very small child sitting on the stair seeing my sister get spanked and seeing her crying going through that was a terrible experience. She got over it fine but I never forgot it. Has to be better ways to dicipline children than painful humiliation.
Shouldn't discipline in front of the other children. It isn't abusive unless there is very real harm. Small spanks on a bottom is not a big deal. But maybe that is me being in my 30s with older siblings. We had good parents. Who sacrificed a lot and are happily married still. And it isnt fake. It is gross how much they flirt. DX
@@krisj5561 I never said it was abuse, I believe children need to be disciplined I was just trying to express that there are better ways than this particular form of discipline (spanking) or any physical/psychological forms of discipline for that matter. It wasn't done in front of me either, I snuck onto the stairs and saw it happen. I just felt bad for my sister and hated the humiliation aspect of it.
I feel that whenever I was spanked as a child, it moderately traumatized me. I would personally never cause physical harm to my child or any child, even if it was in a way that was not "aggressive". It sets up the narrative that being physically handled in such a way is acceptable later on in life if you "misbehave" (in adulthood).
Agreed. I've got a litany of mental health problems from being brought up in a southern home by parents who never even considered any other form of punishment. I still get a wave of anxiety even listening to discussions like this.
not only does it show kids that they can be physically handled if they misbehave, but it can also give the kids an example that the way to deal with things that upset them is to physically lash out
@@212melc I am so sorry you had to go through that sort of punishment. I thankfully didn’t get spanked/hit much as a child, but it is still upsetting to think about.
?? I've never seen a problem with it, obviously don't go to far with it, but it seems like it would stop the bad behavior
@@-Fozzy- yeah, short term (theres literally so much research confirming this), it causes bad behavior and aggression long term. And also, it stops behavior with FEAR and HUMILIATION and ABUSE instead of understanding, sympathy, and self reflection.
My parents used to hit me with the belt, I'll say way too often but not hard. Still It got me to be MORE scared of them and hid sirious things that I should've been able to share with them and ask for their help.
My mother was an only child, and my dad was the middle of three. I am the oldest of seven, but there is only five years and eleven months between me and the youngest sister! We cover SO many personalities that it’s hard to nail them down at this stage. (We are all in our sixties now.)
"you need a sibling, I guess you just got me" 🥲🥲🥲 no I'm not crying, you're crying
I am also an only child and I’ve been watching gmm for like 8 years and I have always related to link and I find myself saying “ofc he’d say that he’s an only child”
I love that you guys just own your past like that and can speak candidly on what your beliefs and what your actions were and how they’ve changed- and which have not! I love this honesty.
I'm an only child, and I relate a lot to Link about the anxiety and having to "catch up" socially as a teen. I definitely have felt pressure to be very successful at everything, being my mom's one and only kid. I think that's a burden we bear as an only child, anyone agree?
I planned on only having one child but worked very hard on giving them opportunities to become very independent and able to take another’s needs into account and also make them more independent. They went to summer camp at a fairly young age for two months at a time and as a preteen and teenager traveled the world with a group of other preteens and teens that really encouraged working with others and being independent at the same time. I realize I was very fortunate to be able to provide those experiences. They have grown into a very caring independent individual. The only issue I see is that they do seem to require a little more quiet time and space than their spouse, who came from an extremely large family.
i literally have to go to therapy because my emotions were met with physical punishment.
that’s on trauma therapy and two rounds of inpatient 😭
The montero video wasn't just to upset people it was an amazing petty clapback at how he was treated just for being gay and I freaking love it. I was never taught to hate anyone apart of the community in fact I'm apart of the community myself and how people have treated and talked to us is gross so when that song came out and I watched the video and listened to the lyrics it made my heart happy. Now I was never told not to listen to certain music whether it was edited or not so i don't do it with my kids
lol rhett 4:18 "i'm pretty sure i got some that night... uh, brownie points that is."
I will say please don't say anything to parents about only one child. My husband and I have desperately tried for a second, and have lost 8. We have been through fertility treatment for three years and it's been the most heartbreaking, horrible experience. My daughter wants a sibling so badly and I feel like a broken woman unable to give that to her. When someone says "you need to give that girl a brother or sister!" I shatter inside. So please, never ever say that to anyone.
i can't wait for rhett to have a little girl granbaby!! she'll have her grandpa wrapped around her little finer and it'll be rhett's greatest love for sure.
my dad has three girls and my sister has a daughter. and even though he loved all three of us and i never felt like he played favorites or anything like that, i can tell now that my niece is his most favorite and she loves him just as much. and it brings me so much joy.
I had three best friends from huge families, I recall one friend had never drank fresh orange juice until they started coming over to my house. I'm pretty sure all three of these friends liked hanging out at my house was because it was so quiet; there was always a good amount and variety of meals at dinner (one friend loved coming over after school to have giant fresh veggies garden salads or homemade, hot crisp tacos or burritos; there never was fighting over tv ; and no chores to do if they stayed over night.
The funny part is Link getting the same punishment as Rhett if his Mom called Link’s Mom.
Enjoying listening now! Just wanted to say Happy Mothers Day to 2 great moms... Jessie & Christy!!! I hope they have a great day! Thank you Rhett, Link & the Mythical crew for all that you do! You guys have gotten me through some tough times!
💜Mythical Beast(and mom of 3 boys) from Newnan,GA!
Im one of those that were spanked and was traumatised. It wasnt often and it wasnt too violent, but it made me a violent and angry kid. Then i was a depressed and scared teen, and then an angry adult, furious at my parents for doing that to me (and my little sister). We talked about it with my mom and it made me feel a little better to hear that she knew she wasnt doing the right thing. Im still dealing with the consequences, and im SO afraid to have kids bc im already so fixated on doing and saying the right things to them, because i dont want my kids to have a traumatic childhood
There's an important shift from protecting to preparing. I really respect Link for teaching that to live life fully you need to learn to bring down the walls.
The enneagram episode is like ✨“Waiting for Godot”✨
I am the youngest of 4 but the 3 older siblings are 12-14 years older than me. I felt like an only child growing up because they all moved out of the house when I was little and basically had my own toys and did what I wanted. My personality definitely reflected on not having siblings in the house. I like being alone now because that's what I was used to.
Totally understand
Thank you guys for talking about disability so openly and with respect. I'm physically disabled and so is one of my brothers, but he has more needs than I do so I have somewhat of a caretaker role in my family too. It means a lot to me coming from both perspectives how you value these types of families and people like us.
Everyone always says “I was spanked and I turned out fine!”…..did you really though? I highly doubt it.
Well, I was abused and I turned out great. I'm a strong, independent, passionate, and empathetic individual. Yes, I have daddy issues but every day I make sure to heal my inner shadow person to make sure my toxicity isn't leaking out on any of my loved ones. So, yes. Someone who was "spanked" could also turn out fine.
@@leannamarie1318 I was also spanked as a child and the only way through is to recognize and deal with the trauma. My point was it makes your life harder, and I’m specifically talking about the people who just ignore it and continue to perpetuate the cycle of abuse while also claiming they turned out fine. Good for us for working through our trauma and becoming stronger people because of it.
I was, and I think a big reason I'm "fine" is because I'm naturally very level headed and deal with my shit relatively well anyway. Also because I have a pretty good relationship with my mom, and we've talked about these things. Other peopl who are more distant with their parents do seem to struggle with that more.
@@meykav i don't know if it systematically makes your life worse, I think there's degrees of traumatic vs uncomfortable spanking. People make the difference between that and hitting, which idk if there should be a difference tbh, physical punishment is what it is, but like Rhett says, there's a difference in where it's coming from. My experience was getting spanked out of anger or desperation, but usually after the misbehaving, cuz my mom would get all the bad news right after coming home from work, usually to more work, so she didn't have the bandwidth for calmer, more thoughtful disciplinary measures, per se. I don't agree with it, but it is different than hurting your kid all the time for any little thing and then saying it's for their own good. My mom started going to therapy more often and I was always in therapy as a child, so we managed to talk about it and come to an agreement on what was fair was punishment and what wasn't ok. I feel pretty fortunate to have (usually) reasonable parents who just want the best for me, I know many people don't have that, and then hitting can really mess someone up for life.
"Spanked" every day, by hand or with a yardstick. Spent my childhood walking on eggshells, never knew what would set her off. I hated it, but had to deal with it. I turned out as fine as I could, considering. This was just the way it was when I was a kid back in the good old days. My Mother would have been locked up int the present time.
I cannot express how excited I am for the enneagram biscuit
These podcasts have become such a source of comfort for me that I now listen to them to go to sleep. There’s something about Rhett and link that soothes me right to sleep.
So I'm an older sibling and disabled and my closest sister in age is 5 years younger and she did have to learn how to accommodate my disability and help me physically when I needed it but I was always very much the one in charge and the big sister wanting to look after her. I think probably the hardest thing for her was the lack of attention focused on her when I was very poorly, when one child is crying in pain you aren't really focused on what the other one is doing and so as a kid she very much always wanted to be the centre of attention and clashed with my mum a lot more than I did and still does (she's 15). I also have a stepsister and two much younger brothers and a absolutely adore my baby brothers. They are 5 and 20 months and the 5 year old wants to spend every second of every day with me and makes me feel so loved and I'm by nature a very maternal person and they give me an outlet for that urge other than my dog. They also give me a sense of confidence for having my own kids because I've been helping raise them since they were born and they don't seem traumatised by me being in pain and even with my physical limitations I'm able to look after them by myself and adapt and figure out ways to say transfer from my bed to my wheelchair while looking after a baby ect.
I have a theory that if the oldest child doesn’t fit the role of the perfectionist, then the second born will take it over. At least, that’s what happened in my family because the oldest kid rebeled.
Yes for sure. That's what happened in my family. My sister who is 5 years older rebelled and my mom always would say "at least I have one good kid" and when I was going through a rough time in my life my mom would always say "you were supposed to be the good one". 😑
That's what happened in mine! I didn't rebel but I'm the oldest and the free spirit. My sister could run a small nation solo.
“Oh you’re bitter” was SENDING ME
33:08 “you had assertive parents and you had an older brother and I had-I had myself.”
Whoa wtf I’m crying now. That hit so hard, oh my gosh Link I felt that.
So I am kind of an anomaly (though I know I am not the only one out there) out of the kids that came from my dad plus my mom I am an only child, out of all my siblings I am a middle child, out of my dad's children I am the youngest child, and out of my mom's children I am the oldest child. I am the omni-child. It is always fun blowing people's minds when I tell them this.
I'm the youngest of 12, counting 5 step-siblings, 5 half-siblings and a single full sibling 🙈 I was definitely the forgotten child.
same, i have 10 siblings
i am the middle of *all* of my stepmoms children, the middle of my dads 3 daughters (he has an older and younger daughter, i am the middle of those 3),
i am the youngest of my moms 3 daughters
my stepmoms oldest 3 kids are already out of the house, and she still has 3 younger kids, and i’m the oldest, which makes me the 4th of her younger group of kids
if that makes sense 😭😭😭
Just listened to the Thursday episode of how you guys dealt with COVID as a company, and I’m here to say that I had never heard of you guys until the pandemic began, and in a way without all that down time I don’t know that I would have ever found y’all, so just here to say that your efforts were not vain and proud of you guys as a company and the whole crew who made it all work out! Happy to forever be a mythical beast!!
gmm and ear biscuits gives me serotonin. their voices are so calming to me and i love watching them while i’m doing homework
I’m a twin. My parents were only going for 3 kids but then twins popped out & so I used to joke that my “younger” twin by 2 mins, 9 secs, is the “unwanted child” lol. It’s true but we love her just the same 😂
My younger brothers are twins. Of course, my parents didn't plan to have twins, so it's funny to me that only one of them was planned.
I’m also a twin!
@@BrittneyStAubin fellow twins unite!! 👯♀️👯♀️
I'm a twin too!! I'm 2 minutes older than my brother but I still say I'm his older sister!
@@jordan101096 yess same here! I always call her my younger sister 😂
I'm a twin but I'm 2 minutes older! Idk if any of these apply to me and my brother. It's nice to always have someone going through the same life stages as you at the same time. College was the only time we didn't go to the same school or were in the same class (I went to an all women's college). There are so many studies on identical twins but I think it'd be interesting to have more research on fraternal twins as well.
Spanking is absolutely abusive. It doesn’t teach children how to regulate their emotions. It only teaches them to fear expressing their emotions. If you were to hit another adult, it would be considered abuse. It should be the same for children. I’m not saying every parent that spanked in the past is an abusive parent or a bad parent, but I think it’s incorrect to say that spanking isn’t always abuse
Most certainly. It just teaches children to express there anger with violence.
I was the oldest and I hated rules. I was the sibling that constantly pushed my limits and how much I could get away with.
No Pokémon or Harry Potter! Man, these two have come so far! 👏
I'm younger than my sister of 7 years, and I definitely consider myself younger and almost like an only child. She got spankings and I never had any, My parents had no problem warning me about spanking or punishing me, but they never had to because I watched my sister and learned what not to do. I was also considered the outgoing one of the 2. I don't see myself being that social butterfly my mom always called me, but also in comparison to my sister I totally was. I think a lot of these ideas we have about sibling roles also come from putting these ideas on to our children. I don't know how much of this would hold true for families, but I worked with children and have a child development certification and these are things that I notice.
I was a lonely only child..Always the new kid with family moving every year for whatever reasons they felt at the time...I played with MY G.I Joe's!! Sharing this just made my heart so full..Thank you guys for being so candid! I got emotional! My upbringing is eerily similar
To find a new Ear Biscuit so soon after its uploading is like finding an actual biscuit just moments ago discarded. It’s delicious. There was no reason for it to be discarded. Goodbye.
What's interesting is that I was never spanked "often" but when I was I always felt something to the notion of "yeah I was being a little brat tbh" only because I think my parents would sit down and talk to me about why they felt it was necessary and usually it was just my dad but his reasoning was almost always "you weren't listening and I asked politely to get your attention but that wasn't working so I had very little options to get your attention to something about your behavior."
I have 3 older brothers, I'm the youngest and only girl. Being female I got some different treatment, both to my benefit and detriment. My brothers thought I was more spoiled, but I just didn't have to share or get many hand-me-downs because I was girly. But then as I got older, rules were a lot more strict for me, my dad was overprotective, I wasn't allowed to to a lot of things that my brothers were allowed to do. The 2 oldest brothers also were raised differently than us 2 younger kids, and that still shows in our adult lives. Our parents' divorce happened at a time that changed how we were brought up compared to the other 2, their childhoods were more stable, so we got a bit left behind amongst everything going on.
There are countless factors that play into how we are raised and how it shapes us. Some tropes are somewhat true, but there is just so much at play.
Thanks again for sharing and talking about this subject. I always love insight on people who are only children. Our son is an only child and we did everything we could to create memories all through his childhood, his education was always important, he’s now 22 and in less than a month will graduate with his masters in mathematics and will shortly begin school again for his PhD. He’s a great kid, well young adult now, he doesn’t drink or do drugs and has never wanted to, he easily made it through all of his schooling till this point, it’s only recently he’s had to put time in studying, oddly enough he Tudors as well as works as a teacher’s assistant at the college, so theirs a small group of people he can study with. We couldn’t be more proud of him. I often wonder if some of his success and drive is because he’s always gotten all our attention and we’ve always been there for everything and always encouraged anything he did but it was easy because he was a great kid that didn’t give us problems, his teachers were always impressed at how smart he is and how good he is with other people. We were worried for him when he began high school that he’d be picked on because he’s smarter, he never had any issues with anyone and always did his own thing and still does. In his senior year he was prom king, he never played a sport, he was the photographer for the year book, but in my day the only people voted prom king and queen were the popular jocks and cheerleaders. He managed to break the norm. He was one of seven to give a speech at the graduation. We couldn’t be more proud. My wife and I still find it difficult to live without him in our home. Watching your children grow and move on in life to a different phase is both incredible because we are so proud but also hurting inside because it’s losing a part of life that you will never have again. It’s a thing in life I never saw coming and it’s getting easier to deal with the adjustments of living together without him there all the time is a difficult thing to deal with. Thanks again for talking about your perspectives and others. Take care, stay safe and healthy.
As an only child, I never once wished I had a sibling. I’ll admit it made me a bit spoiled and stubborn, but also self sufficient. My parents gave me the world and we have a special bond as a small family. I wouldn’t dissuade people from having one kid because there are many great things about it for both the parents and kid.
I would totally agree with you I'm also an only child and have always been more of an independent and extraverted person so for me it worked out nicely
@@brookekirkpatrick836 it definitely made me more introverted personally. Growing up with so much alone time makes me require a lot of it as an adult but I don’t think that’s a bad thing 🤷🏼♀️
I'm an only child too, and so are my parents so my family is very small. I think growing up an only child is fine. You make friends and it seems just as good as growing up any other way. Friends have asked what it's like when thinking about having their own kids, and I always tell them not to worry about that part. The sad truth is it's growing OLD an only child that's painful. Being the sole caretaker of aging parents is something I've come to dread one day as I've watched my parents both go through it. And then eventually you lose them and you are alone in the world unless you have a spouse/children of your own. Sorry to take it so dark.
I like the idea of watching/listening to podcasts but never thought I had the attention span for that. Thank you Rhett and Link for proving me wrong, I have genuinely really enjoyed this video all the way through...I'm an oldest child, btw.
I have older sister ( 5yrs older) & as far as I’m concerned, she might as well have been in another family. She never gave me advice, or really even talked much to me. It was only 5 yr difference but it was significant because when I was in 1st grade, she was in jr high & by time I was in jr high, she was senior in HS & ready to graduate. We had nothing in common
@Pinnacle Weirdo we kinda had same experiences. They were so far ahead of us in school, like we didn’t exist, lol. My sister went to community college & also had job so she’d be home, but she was either at school, working, or with her friends. I mean 5 yrs isn’t much once people get older but it’s a world of difference when in school. I was graduating HS & she was married. To this day, I’ve not spoken to my sister in over 40years! Total opposite personalities. She was a Debbie downer & I like humor, laughing, having fun. She tried her hardest to get my parents to not want me around but I still lived at home😂. Where did she think they were gonna throw me? She only made herself look like a psycho & they actually distanced themselves from her! Dysfunctional family! I’m just my own person & I don’t need her humiliating me in front of family or public places 🙄
Man Link had kids when he was 23??? I am 23 and I am barely getting by.
I was 23 when I had my first kid to, and then 25 turning 26 for the second
@@dakotadad8835 You must be independently wealthy
@@abhinavsrivastava9909 I wish, wouldn’t hurt but far from it. My wealth isn’t measured in fiat currency it’s measured in the happiness and joy I get from raising 2 amazing kids who will end up being 2 amazing adults who will give me grandchildren, nothing will ever compare or replace that feeling and no amount of money even comes close to the feeling you get when your first child is born, an indescribable emotion and you know at that very moment, your life is changed forever and your needs become secondary behind your child, nothing else matters except making sure they’re safe and healthy, I hope one day you get to experience that happiness cause it’s worth every second of every day. I could of been more financially prepared when my children came along but I’ve always been a hard worker (first job at 15) but I buckled down and dedicate(ed) my life from that point forward to them and one day you will to 😁
I'm about to be 26, and same. I probably won't have children though.
When you become a parent, you go to jail if you cant be a successful parent. So you kind of dont have a choice. You no longer live for yourself
My sister is 8 years older than me, and I learned a lot from her experience about what not to do, whether it was at home, in school, or living on my own and working. A lot of decisions I made in life were direct results of the things my sister did that had negative results.
When my kids try and help me parent the other sibling, I tell them "I don't need a hype man, I got this thank you."
😂😂😂😂 I'm using this!
As an only child, I can agree with the over all anxiety and anxiety with social situations. Though I don't remember feeling lonely as child. I did things alone frequently and even as an adult I don't feel uncomfortable or sad when I do things by myself. Being an only child was/is mostly positive for me.
As an only child, everything that was mentioned really resonates with me. Growing up it felt fine but thinking back now it would have been to have someone to confine in, hang out with, and learn things from because it is hard to go to your parents sometimes. I'll also never be an aunt which is kind of a bummer as well. Idk if I will ever get married and have kids but I imagine having more than one so they don't go through the loneliness or at least marry someone with siblings so I at least get some connection to that family dynamic
I'm an older sibling and very introverted and really feel what Link was saying about missing out on that extra knowledge that comes with an older sibling. Not having a bit of guidance in that sense maybe contributed to a lot of my lack of confidence and anxiety.
I wonder how it feels to have MANY people soothing themselves to sleep with these great podcasts. 🤔♥️
I am a middle child and can I just say, parents: Please check in with your middle children. What you may perceive as quiet and independent might not be that. It might be a feeling of being left out waiting for permission to join in. Even just a "Hey how's it going?" I never got asked that. I rarely got invited to things, I still don't. Just check in with them more when they're younger before they close off too much.
I really relate to the tweet at 1:00:50. I'm also an only child and it took me until college to begin developing socially, with the added factor that I'm gay and struggled with that for quite a while. Today, at 35, I feel that my personality has been shaped by all the isolation and I tend to be quite the loner.
I have always said if you have one, you should have multiples. I think being an only child puts a lot of pressure on one kid. Thanks for confirming my thoughts as an only child Link.
I myself am a baby - but I had a unique childhood parenting my parents. My older brother and I basically raised ourselves in many ways - so creates a different level of personalities.
Rhett should have his brother on the show sometime.
I am an oldest child with two younger siblings, I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian mother, and my brothers were raised by a wild hippy pagan, despite the fact that we had the same mother. My mom also left a Calvinist branch of Christianity when I was young, so it’s crazy how much different my childhood was to that of my brothers.
I am an only child, but my personality is much more similar to Rhett than Link for what it’s worth. My former best friend is a LOT like Link, but has a (significantly) younger sibling.
I fit a couple of categories in that I am statistically a middle child but my half brother is 8 years older than I am so my memories of him don’t start till I was 5 or 6 years old so he was in high school and not around that much. My younger sister is exactly 2 years younger than me and we were very close. I didn’t get into the whole “what child are you and how did it effect you” until I was a mom with 2 boys. In some instances I think it explains a lot about me now.
This is what I miss, link and Rhett just chilling talking about something, I watch these more than actual gmm episodes because it’s more like how it used to be, back before every episode had to be a game or a taste test
I have to say, as the older child and the "Rule Follower", I relate to the part about still feeling awkward "Breaking Rules" now. I'm 27 years old and I still feel bad doing anything that feels like it might be breaking a rule or not following directions exactly as given.
Kevin's teeny baby bug!
🤗🥰 💕👶🏻
Thanks so much for doing Ear Biscuits guys!🙌 Getting to know you better on a deeper level is always great, and I appreciate that you're honest about mistakes, things you still don't know, ways you're trying to grow and learn. Too many people in the public eye prefer to act like they've got it all figured out and hide normal human frailties, which is not a healthy thing for anyone to be or admire.
And, I love the idea of quadruple Lily's! The world could use a million more like her💯👍☺
I have 5 kids. I have a couple, mostly one (the 4th), whom I regularly have to turn to and say, “I’ll be the parent now, thanks.” 😒
I'm the youngest of my dads but raised by mum and I'm her only. I feel like I fit both stereotypes.
I am the 2nd of 4 children, so my sister and I were both middle children, and there's isn't much talk about this, but in my case, having two middle children, we did fit the stereotype of being ignored or not cared about as much as the other two, but because there were two of us, we have an inseparable bond and were always really close and would complain and make fun of the rest of the family together.
Any other double middle children can confirm or deny this specific idea?
I’m 58 this year and the oldest of 5. I was another adult at 8, my best friends were my grandmother and 3 great aunts I was old headed at a young age. I’m old enough to have had the belt at school I was punished at home when needed, I don’t feel it did me any harm. I have 3 adult kids and 8 grandkids my son has 6 kids , 5 boys 1 girl and my daughter has 2 sons. My two brothers caused lots of problems with drink and drugs and my youngest brother died 2 years ago through drugs at 48. They both felt hard done by and we don’t know why they were brought up the same as us. It’s really good you get to chose your friends sometimes as they become family.
Middle children here and no stereotypes in my family. Age differences are 4 years between my older brother and I and 5 years between my younger sister and I. Our parents treated each of us the same.
50:41 I and my older brother had this exact thing too. It would be the same. I loved math always and he would tell me when I go to 5th, later 9th, later 11th grade, I will hate it. Then I got to those grades, never hated it.
Link: i wish i had an older brother so i can get to know stuff like music
Also link: i had a step sister who liked music
And that's why i hated music as a child
🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, I had a smiliar situation to Link, grew up a single child, felt super lonely, rarely did things for fun because most of my outings were with my mom and great aunt, or being alone at one of my dad's work rehearsals and stuff. Then I got a half sister when I was 8, but I'd only spend time with her two, maybe three, days a week, so we didn't grow up together. Two years after she was born we got a brother, so they've had that sibling experience and I see their dynamic, but in most situations I'm an only child. I'm 20 now, they're 12 and 10, so we're starting to have a better relationship, less fighting and more understanding each other, having more things in common, etc. But yeah, he's definitely a younger brother, but on the quiet side, is finally learning to stand his ground, and she's super bossy, very energetic and commanding, but I'm still the almighty older sister when I'm with them (rarely nowadays since we live in different countries :/), so it's an interesting dynamic for sure.
I have 3 children. My middle child doesn't fit the middle child stereotype in my opinion but if u ask her.......she identifies as middle child lol
Edit to say.....my parenting changed as well though, my first 2 got spanked and it turned into time outs and my 3rd never has been spanked (that I remember, let's be honest) and the first 2 ruled my TV with cartoons, my 3rd played with toys.....again I changed my parenting into a more mature parenting as I matured
I find it so hilarious that people considered Harry Potter to be anti-Christian because of "witchcraft" when Harry is one of the most Christ-like figures you can find in children's literature
Kids of different ages need to be treated differently, obviously. What is appropriate for one age group is not appropriate for another. Every person also has a different personality type which determines how they should be taught, disciplined and interacted with.
My 2 cents to the convo: I was the smallest of the 3 children, I watched the Captain planet episode where he urged parents to have only 2 kids and felt kinda sad over it. After my brother moved out when I was around 6 it was like I was the only child. I hated how my parents spoiled me. I couldn't say "wow that toy/ drawing product looks cool" bc they would try to buy it, and I would have to convince them 'its okay, I don't want it'. I don't like how they didn't teach me about important things I had to later in life (general life advice etc.) but it iz what it iz
All that physically disciplining a child teaches them is that it's okay for someone to hurt you as long as its out of love. I don't think I need to explain how this can be a profound issue.
Loved this episode. But as someone from the rural and religious south & who was also spanked, I want to reinforce that spanking IS abuse, and it's NEVER ok to hit your child. It doesn't matter if it's on the butt. Communicate with your child the way you want them to communicate with you. also the statement "I was spanked and turned out fine.." is old and worn out. Because even if YOU don't realize it, you're probably not fine.
I trust that Link is a good person/parent and that he just needs more perspective and information on this.
As an only child of a divorced couple (and adopted by them), I have no 'dad humour' or 'mom humour' (my mom never makes jokes , but she laughs at them). But I have my humour! Which is a mix of everything funny that I enjoy, GMM being at the top.
I'm a twin with an older brother (so just us 3) but it makes it harder to put me and my twin in the middle/younger role because we are only minutes apart.
I'm a twin too! 2 minutes older!
@@jordan101096 I'm the older (and bossier) twin too! 8 minutes older. Lol.
I think my mom did an amazing job at not treating us differently because of our birth order, but more because we were different people. While we still had typical sibling rivalry, but no resentment.
Interestingly my older brother was rarely spanked. I was spanked much more readily. I’ve had the wooden spoon, the tea towel or the hand. I had a lot more restrictions as a girl than my brother did as a boy, with curfews and what we were allowed to get away with. I’ll say I turned out a lot more well behaved than my brother 😂
I'm the middle child of three and the only boy and I am definitely not like my sisters at all. I try to be inconspicuous and observe rather than get in on the action. Because of this I am frequently ignored in conversations. For example I could be telling a whole story and someone will inevitably say "What were you just talking about?" Or not acknowledge that I said anything at all. It's frustrating so I try not to really talk in a group. What's strange is that my mom is also a middle child but she's outgoing. However she also can't ever get a word in so we share that trait. Birth order is a fascinating thing and there are advantages and disadvantages to being oldest, middle, youngest, or only child.
Don't hit your kids. Ever.
I have now ran out of podcasts to listen to. I think I listening to all of them in about 3-4 months
As a born-again Christian who has enjoyed Rhett & Link's genuine and honest content for almost a decade, especially throughout their spiritual deconstructions, I would just like to say that the verse about training a child in the way it should go, is one of the most misunderstood verses in the Bible. It does not mean, "raise a child to be a perfect Christian, and they will stay a perfect Christian their entire life". A more correct translation would be, "if you raise a child according to their natural disposition, it will affirm their personality and not lead to identity issues." Which, ironically, agrees with the more "modern" or "post-Christian" philosophies Rhett and Link are holding to.
I was honestly kinda shocked when the spanking topic was brought up in the episode and while reading the comment section I realized how common it seems in the states campared to where I live... it’s been illegal in Sweden since 1979 so you never really hear of it over hear
As a Swede, my old classmate got spanked by her parents. I was really shocked when she casually mentioned it. Her parents didn't grow up here so that definitely plays a part in it. But regardless, i do believe it HAPPENS (way less than in the US) but no one would admit to doing it.
@@LitcheTheArsm you’re absolutely right, it would be wrong of me to assume it never happens, it just feels like the general idea here is that’s it’s wrong 🤔
There have been several studies that show that spanking particularly consistent, rough, angered sessions can cause severe issues, both short and long term. (Note: I am not at all mad at you, it is just something that I would advise against).