Mike is so real for that girl who wanted the bf to text her before coming home early. Some people NEED to mentally prepare themselves for company even if it's people who live with them. It can get exhausting to mentally make space RIGHT AWAY. Think if you're back to being a teenager and your hormones are high and someone enters your room without knocking. It just feels like that 😅😅😅
as a server & talking all day to ppl, that space of being alone without interruption really helps too. (it is my place that my bf is welcome to walk in, but I feel bad for asking for a heads up)
As an introvert who needs alone time to recharge my social/emotional batteries I also request that my bf text if he is coming home early. That time is desperately needed for me and if it’s not happening it helps to know ahead of time.
I totally relate to wanting a heads up that your partner is coming home - I try to plan my night around that, just like mike said, to make dinner for us both or not, when to shower & get ready for bed, etc. My partner doesnt have an issue with letting me know he’s headed home, sometimes he forgets but mostly he’s communicative.
In my opinion Mike is correct. I have anxiety and I like to know in advance how my day is going to go. Mike asked Erin if she would text if TJ said he wanted her to and she said yes. The Reddit person was saying a boundary/something that makes her feel comfortable. Matt and Erin gaming up on him was annoying. Way to go Carly for seeing both sides. All in all I agree with Mike.
It drove me crazy how they just refused to see his side!!!! I’m an extremely anxious person and if my husband didn’t let me know when he was heading home then it would really flip my mood. Every once in a while he might forget to text me, but for the most part, he’s happy to respect what makes me comfortable! I also like to get what I personally need done completed before he comes home so we can spend that time together.
This drove me crazy too. No one was the asshole imo. It’s easy to text when you’re leaving but sometimes you will forget! My fiancé and I do this and sometimes we BOTH forget. It’s just nice to know to plan your evening or just simply get excited that they’re coming home early!
Everything that girl said and Mike said about wanting a text I agree with. I feel bad that they made it seem like it was weird ask when she literally stated the reason why. As an introverted and anxious person (who also works on their shit, it’s not like I let this rule my life) i appreciate having a heads up if I don’t know the scheduled time you’ll be back, but Erin’s reaction is exactly why I always feel “bad” or like the “asshole” when I ask. So I completely understand where that girl was coming from
I totally agree! I don’t think the girl is the asshole either because I don’t think she’s mad at her partner for NOT texting her…I think both sides can just compromise…if this is something that makes her happy, why shouldn’t he do it? The guy is ALSO completely valid if he forgets…we’re all humans..as long as she is understanding and doesn’t get mad at him.. I think both Erin and Mike can just agree to disagree too instead of both of them completely trying to convince the other their side is right. I think there’s a reason why people love Carly so much..she actually sees both sides but also not offending either one with her reaction. Matt can come off a little offensive sometimes…
As an introvert myself, I understand the girl who wants her bf to text her when he’s coming home early. It’s not that she doesn’t want him there and it’s not that she’s doing something he shouldn’t know about, it’s that as an introvert, no matter who it is we need time to prepare to interact with another person. It’s a true introvert thing that very many extroverts would not even begin to comprehend.
I 100000% get where the introverted girl is coming from and Erin and Matt’s responses to her made me feel like I was back in middle school getting bullied by extroverts for being quiet 😒
I just wanna say that I LOVE the structured / unstructured vibe of this podcast! Y'all go on rants and talk about stuff outside of the theme but always make it back on track which I love! It's the best of both worlds!
Needing a simple text before the other person gets home doesn’t make the girlfriend an asshole at all. Erin’s POV is always the non-anxious POV bc she just doesn’t seem to ever get anxious about anything lol
She has a really hard time understanding people differ from her and when they do, she becomes very limited or any perspective beyond her own is very limited.
Mike is ABSOLUTELY right about the text. It takes literally 20 seconds to send a text and you know it gives your significant other peace of mind, its simple to just do it. Its about the plan of your day being changed not about her doing anything shady
I hope the girl asking for a text is not the Asshole because I totally see her point of view! It’s always nice to give a heads up because I would do the same if the schedule is deviating from the norm. It just gives time to mentally prepare to socialize and most likely do couple things. I think it’s a courtesy thing
I definitely understand mikes defense on the text situation, as someone who spends time alone almost 24/7, I absolutely need to prepare to share my space with anyone!
omg Mike, people are NOT mad that you don’t like Taylor swift. They’re mad at what you specifically said about her. I know I am shouting into the void but Jesus Christ
the coming home topic i had the exact same take as mike. i hate surprises. any kind of them i don’t like them at all. whenever i go anywhere i always ask who is going to be there before hand just to know because i can mentally prepare myself for what i’m walking into. i don’t think she’s the ass hole at all for wanting a simple text from him before coming home she can shift her perspective of what her next hour is going to look like.
She’s had mellow songs on the radio too not just shake it off, it’s really not revolutionary music I think he’s aware and just sure of his opinion here
Idk I think that there is something for everyone! Her radio hits are never her best songs imo… they’re good but they are not her best. I think Mike might enjoy Folklore.
Mike around the last bit (55min mark) you nail it on the dot! Although ya sketchy that ur person needs a heads up, I drive my gf to and from work all the time and enjoy my ‘me time’ but when I get a text I gotta get her early it’s all good, just change my plans a bit instead of doing my alone stuff. Sometimes I’m working on projects that are louder n she hates listening too, or I watch my shows that she ain’t gonna watch with me. It’s common respect and if you loved and trusted your partner a quick, heading home my love ain’t hard.
I agree with Mike about the girl wanting people to let them know when their home. I am introverted and have anxiety so I like to know what is happening and what goes on. I don’t like surprises
I completely agree with Mike on the text coming home early! (I don’t know that woman’s situation) but I am a stay at home mom and my husband works all day. I like when he shoots me a text or call when he’s on his way home so I can change my day around according to his arrival. Even pre kid, I loved my solitude and I appreciated when he let me know he was on his way home. I would hate for him to come home and nothing is done if that makes sense.. And funny thing is HE feels the same way… he likes to know I’m on my way home so he can do a quick clean up.
Also this podcast is such good vibes my iPad wouldn’t load and every frame as everyone laughing how adorbs is that. Matt looks so comfortable on this podcast, more than others imo. I listen to the pod at my cleaning job, before bed, on my walks and in the car. Just LOVE it. Love u guys!
The AITA about the text is so interesting. As someone who is on the spectrum and diagnosed ocd. My day revolves around a tiny schedule in my brain and I’ve mapped that out either the night before or that morning. To have something change during that schedule like someone showing up when you weren’t expecting, having noise when you thought it’d be quiet, even the outfit you planned in your head not looking how you thought it would can completely throw an entire mood or day off. To the “normal” person it’s no big deal and you instantly self adjust but for the quirky pals on the spectrum or with social issues a little heads up doesn’t seem like a lot to ask. If you have dated someone on the spectrum before it’s a very normal request and pretty easy adjustment but if you’re not use to that it seems unreasonable and weird I guess.
I saw something recently suggesting we should use registries for people graduating, specifically with Masters and PHDs but I think it could be for all grads. I love that idea - also new houses, big moves etc. I think it would be a great idea to use registries beyond weddings and babies.
No I just have to say that I completely agree w Mike!! its not about not wanting your partner home it is totally about how your expectations for the night are altered! Nothing wrong w a heads up text!! Me and my bf have the find my friends notif on for when we arrive at home so we have some warning.
I’m an introvert who’s chronically ill so I have sm fatigue, while my partner is an extrovert with unmedicated ADHD. Sometimes I also need a heads up when he’s coming home if it’s at a different hour than usual
I agree with Matt about the birthday registry, it’s better to get something they would actually like rather than something that’s a waste of money because it never gets used
10000% agree with Mike. The point he brought up about adjusting her expectations of the night is such a good way to put it. She is not an ahole. She is expressing something simple she wants that will make her happy. It just isn't that hard to do!
matt do not underestimate the suits fandom. If suits has 1 million fans, then I'm one of them. If suits has one fan, then I'm THAT ONE. If suits has no fans, that means I'm dead.
a food item that's transparent is spring roll wrappers! also, i can relate that i need my alone time and would like to be told ahead of time a rough estimate of when i should be expecting my partner to come home. but i appreciate Matt and Erin's side and i like hearing opposing arguments, plus i find it entertaining when it SEEMS like they're giving Mike a hard time, but it's their friendship and they're being funny.
The ferry conversation and Mike's lack of understanding of ferries being able to carry cars killed me! As someone who lives on Vancouver Island and frequents BC Ferries, who accommodate several HUNDRED cars, I thought it was hilarious. Come to Vancouver and hop on the boat to Vancouver Island! Us Islanders actually kind of hate our ferry service because of the extortionate pricing and lack of other options, but it's practically a mini cruise with several car decks, a few passenger decks, a restaurant, cafe, arcade room, kids play area, and gift shop! Not to mention the beautiful scenery!
52:15 omg do I ever relate to the person asking for a heads-up text from their partner when they leave work because of the wacky schedule!! I've been in this exact same situation before & my unsolicited response to the ~all too-common~ excuse of "I didn't think of it" that seems to come up in discussions where someone is repeatedly failing to respect a boundary that has been communicated is this: what you're really saying there, and what the person who cared enough to communicate a boundary hears is "I don't care enough about how this thing -that I perceive to be so meaningless despite it obviously being very important to you- impacts you and therefore, I don't care about you". Bottom line, in any type of remotely healthy relationship, whether it be platonic or not, you NEED to care about the things that the other person involved in the relationship cares about; and if you don't, then you simply aren't good for each other. Now, to anyone that made it this far into my dissertation and is thinking "damn, it's just a text, it's not that deep"; I implore you to read my last sentence again.
Absolutely agree with the heads up text. Especially with ADHD, I need time to decompress alone. WITH THAT, I also thrive on planning my alone time so that I am mentally prepared. It’s a stimulation decompression thing! The spiral my brain would have if someone walks in when I’m not expecting would be insane. It’s not a overprotective, malicious, or suspicious thing. It’s purely a want from ADHD. :)
It would be fucking annoying having to announce when you are coming home. If you like living alone so much dont move in with your partner or dont get married lol.
as an introvert myself, i’m still with erin and matt on not needing to send a text to let your partner know you’re coming home early. why do you need to mentally prepare yourself to see your own PARTNER. they should be able to see you at any point of the day and love what they see. i get needing some alone time bc i feel that way all the time but you shouldn’t feel anxious when you think about your partner. He literally LIVES there. if i had to try to remember to text my partner everytime i wanted to come home to my OWN HOUSE i would honestly feel like a prisoner. that sounds absolutely exhausting.
A simple way i try to remember the difference between envy and jealously is intent. Intent behind the emotion I feel determines the word being use. Mal- intent is usually jealousy while admiration is usually envy. I hope this helps!
ok but I relate to the introverted girl. I’m not doing anything weird and it’s not that I don’t enjoy my bf’s presence. It’s just like mike said, i would like to plan my night accordingly. If I’m having a self care night i would like to know when my bf is getting home so that we could do something else which is OKAY I don’t mind doing something else I just want to know what my night will look like. But then again I’m not that bothered by my bf being home early without telling me. I def think the girl might be hiding something lol I feel like she cares too much/ is making a big deal out of this BUT it would help if the bf tried a bit more to let her know
I completely agree with her about the text thing. I have roommates who I’m very close and comfortable with and whenever I’m just vibing on the couch and watching tv having my me time, whenever they come home earlier than expected it just throws me off and I feel like I have to flip a switch and the energy is different now. It’s okay and I don’t get upset obviously but it’s definitely a thing. I think it stems just from being a person who really enjoys and values being alone, or also just having an idea of what your day or night is going to be in your head and now it’s different.
I literally cannot handle their takes on the warning text. It's not that big of a deal and it takes half a second as Mike said, I NEED my alone time and my privacy so if that time is getting cut short I'd like to know. it's not that she hates her partner and doesn't want him to come home. that's such a weird take.
I call my fiancée when I’m on my way home from work because I never get off at a consistent time. I asked him after hearing the debate and he said he actually preferred it when I remembered because then he approximately knows when I’ll be home and can get dinner ready. It’s not a fight if I forget though. He knows I get off at 6:30ish, depending on when I get my work done and said if it’s later than usual, he’ll check my location. I think that having each other’s location on might be the best compromise because it takes no effort from the boyfriend and the girlfriend knows when he will be on his way home. Another thing I want to point out is that is it does seem weird that it is almost an “inconvenience” when her boyfriend comes home early. When my fiancée does, it’s the best thing and we get to have more time together at night. Also, they don’t seem to be mindful of each other either because my fiancée gets off at the same time everyday so I expect him home around the same time. If it gets to be 30 minutes after when he’s usually home, I’ll check his location then call him to see if everything is okay or just send a quick text, just because it’s out of the norm. I only do that, though, if I see he’s still at work, but if he’s at a gas station or grocery store, I don’t even question it. There just seems to be a lack of communication because if you are living together, you should be allowed to still have your alone time. I like to decompress after the day by sitting underneath a blanket on my phone just to not have to talk to anyone, and then join my fiancée once I feel okay or I’ll go take a bath while watching a movie. He does the same, like playing video games with his friends or watching RUclips videos, but either way, there should be no shame in taking some alone time when you and your partner are both home.
Mike, please look up the ferries in Seattle / puget sound. They hold at least 100 cars that used to take them all the time. Sometimes I would sit in my car and other times I would go up to the deck. I like when my husband text me or calls on his way home because I startle easily so if he comes in the house without me knowing he's coming home it usually jump scares me lol.
i completely agree with mike and wanting to get a text from a partner before they got home as an introvert who loves their space. i am kinda like this with my best friend/roommate, but mostly use our tracking apps or i just ask her what time is she coming home to adjust and prepare myself. although, i also wont be mad if the person forgets to send a text sometimes, but making an effort to text will surely help. either way, randomly checking find my friends to feel at ease surely won't hurt. love u guys and the pod!! much love from the philippines. 😚❤
I opened RUclips for the sole purpose of commenting on the texting situation couple. I have the perfect solution. She should turn the setting on in her phone where she gets a notification whenever he leaves his current location (aka work). It makes him aware that she will be notified, so nothing sneaky going on, and it’s completely harmless. If she only wants to know when he’s on his way home for the sole purpose of alone time which I heavily understand and relate to, they should do this. He never has to worry about remembering to text her and she never has to bother him and ask. I feel like this full proof lol it’s 2023. Love y’all
For gift giving - sometimes my mom & I make a shared Pinterest board because she’s really picky & I like specific products. I fully think registries & gifts are awesome! But I’m the thoughtful giver & don’t always receive that outside my family
I've been an office admin & am now in a similar position. Watering people's personal plants is crazy! Esp in a multi-floor business. My office is almost a greenhouse w all the plants but the people who brought them in care for them... If ANYTHING I could see watering Lobby/ Entry plants. The CEO. Not effin Tanya 😂
We have a spider plant that has babies a lot too! They asexually reproduce so they'll just start growing a new plant basically & you put that in water until it gets roots... pretty cool actually!
I would like the text, but for a different reason than the person that submitted the AITA even though I am an introvert who does like their alone time but my partner getting home early isn't really a hassle for me. I would ask my partner to text me when they leave work early so that I have a timeframe of where they are from a totally different anxiety; the worry that something might happen to them between work and home. If they left work early and don't arrive home then there is hours of them potentially being in trouble that I was unaware of and that's scary to me. If they get off work at 9 and usually get home at 9:30, then at 10:15 if I haven't heard anything I'm probably going to text to make sure everything is ok (not like panic mode yet, just a text like to see if they stopped at the store or something). I'm a bit of a worry wort like that, I'm more comfortable if I have a general idea that the people I care about are safely where I think they are. However, if they get off work at 6 and something happens between work and home, that's four entire hours of who knows what before I even think something might have gone wrong. I've had some stuff like that happen throughout my family and it's one of the scariest things to me. Now that's not to say I'm trying to demand they always come straight home from work, if they get off work early and text me like 'going to go shopping' or going to hang out with a friend or whatever, I have no problem with that of course. I'm not trying to dictate anyone's time, I just am more comfortable if I know where they are so I know not to worry about them. I always feel better when a friend or family is travelling and I know they've safely made it to whatever city or wherever even if I just see a pic on social media. I'm not asking every person I know keeps me informed of their travels either, I just feel better when I *do* know they've arrived safely somewhere.
ive always been taught that a ferry IS a boat that commutes people with cars. i’ve been on one in Galveston to go to a beach but that is crazy mike was so confused about hearing cars go on the ferry bc i’ve never heard of it being without cars
Hi y’all, love the podcast and everyone’s opinions! I wanted to jump in and give my perspective on telling a significant other when you’re coming home. My fiancé and I (34 yo) have been together 10 years and 4 of those years we’ve lived together. Even when we didn’t live together we let each other know when we were on our way home. In my eyes it’s more of a safety thing and just an update. We’re going to be on the road and commuting in California is a bit crazy and you just never know what can happen. It’s also an opportunity to do a quick check in to see if we need to stop at the store or if he’s had a rough day I’ll have a nice cocktail waiting for him or vice versa. ❤ Natalie
Omg I’m dying 😂 it’s Christina Pazsitzky not Christina pazkinsky lol, I wanna send this to your moms house podcast, because they love when people mess up their names. 10:16
AITA: I literally give my family a list of gifts I want for my birthday and Christmas 😅 they know I am particular and they will ask me for the list if I dont send it out 30 days before hand. Also I am born a week before Christmas so it’s easier for them to just get me one specific gift I actually want instead of running around trying to find two random items they think I would enjoy
This confirms my suspicion that extroverts do not understand introverts! For me there is a huge difference when I’m alone vs there is someone in the house w me. I like to mentally prepare myself as well! It’s a different vibe entirely. I’m with mike on this!
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Can you guys do a Gossip episode? Where you talk about gossip said about you and your friends and then say if it's true or false hahaha
Yesss
omg that’s such a good one!!!!
YES! i need to know why Carly and Erin don't talk to the vlog squad + why they didn't go to Erins weeding!!
Mike is so real for that girl who wanted the bf to text her before coming home early. Some people NEED to mentally prepare themselves for company even if it's people who live with them. It can get exhausting to mentally make space RIGHT AWAY. Think if you're back to being a teenager and your hormones are high and someone enters your room without knocking. It just feels like that 😅😅😅
as a server & talking all day to ppl, that space of being alone without interruption really helps too. (it is my place that my bf is welcome to walk in, but I feel bad for asking for a heads up)
Totally agree!
@@anahwieland exactly! The best way to TRULY decompress
Seriously and Erin was so irritating trying to justify it
As an introvert who needs alone time to recharge my social/emotional batteries I also request that my bf text if he is coming home early. That time is desperately needed for me and if it’s not happening it helps to know ahead of time.
I totally relate to wanting a heads up that your partner is coming home - I try to plan my night around that, just like mike said, to make dinner for us both or not, when to shower & get ready for bed, etc. My partner doesnt have an issue with letting me know he’s headed home, sometimes he forgets but mostly he’s communicative.
I’m so happy to see most of the comments about the “heads up text” are very understanding of OPs situation/mindset. I totally get it.
I like when my boyfriend tells me when he comes home early because I’ll workout at home and I don’t like to be watched or scared mid workout
yesss omg being interrupted while in the zone is not fun
In my opinion Mike is correct. I have anxiety and I like to know in advance how my day is going to go. Mike asked Erin if she would text if TJ said he wanted her to and she said yes. The Reddit person was saying a boundary/something that makes her feel comfortable. Matt and Erin gaming up on him was annoying. Way to go Carly for seeing both sides. All in all I agree with Mike.
It drove me crazy how they just refused to see his side!!!! I’m an extremely anxious person and if my husband didn’t let me know when he was heading home then it would really flip my mood. Every once in a while he might forget to text me, but for the most part, he’s happy to respect what makes me comfortable! I also like to get what I personally need done completed before he comes home so we can spend that time together.
Girl, same!
This drove me crazy too. No one was the asshole imo. It’s easy to text when you’re leaving but sometimes you will forget! My fiancé and I do this and sometimes we BOTH forget. It’s just nice to know to plan your evening or just simply get excited that they’re coming home early!
Everything that girl said and Mike said about wanting a text I agree with. I feel bad that they made it seem like it was weird ask when she literally stated the reason why. As an introverted and anxious person (who also works on their shit, it’s not like I let this rule my life) i appreciate having a heads up if I don’t know the scheduled time you’ll be back, but Erin’s reaction is exactly why I always feel “bad” or like the “asshole” when I ask. So I completely understand where that girl was coming from
I totally feel you on this
I totally agree! I don’t think the girl is the asshole either because I don’t think she’s mad at her partner for NOT texting her…I think both sides can just compromise…if this is something that makes her happy, why shouldn’t he do it? The guy is ALSO completely valid if he forgets…we’re all humans..as long as she is understanding and doesn’t get mad at him..
I think both Erin and Mike can just agree to disagree too instead of both of them completely trying to convince the other their side is right.
I think there’s a reason why people love Carly so much..she actually sees both sides but also not offending either one with her reaction.
Matt can come off a little offensive sometimes…
Me and my fiancé always text each other when we are coming home!! For me it’s more of a safely thing if something happens to one another
i love erin and matt so much but they really seem to have trouble being introspective and putting themselves in others positions haha
It can be so frustrating
As an introvert myself, I understand the girl who wants her bf to text her when he’s coming home early. It’s not that she doesn’t want him there and it’s not that she’s doing something he shouldn’t know about, it’s that as an introvert, no matter who it is we need time to prepare to interact with another person. It’s a true introvert thing that very many extroverts would not even begin to comprehend.
I 1000% agree with wanting a heads up text. Everything Mike said is right. It’s not too much to ask.
Yup, fully agree on this topic.
SAME! She’s not hiding anything and isn’t mad she just wants to be in her own vibe 😂 respect her introverted personality
Exactly
I love my alone time
I feel like it’s more of an introvert thing because I also completely agree
Erin: “Matt it’s okay to have an opinion!!”
Also Erin: *slanders Matt for having any opinions* 😂💀
I 100000% get where the introverted girl is coming from and Erin and Matt’s responses to her made me feel like I was back in middle school getting bullied by extroverts for being quiet 😒
I just wanna say that I LOVE the structured / unstructured vibe of this podcast! Y'all go on rants and talk about stuff outside of the theme but always make it back on track which I love! It's the best of both worlds!
Needing a simple text before the other person gets home doesn’t make the girlfriend an asshole at all. Erin’s POV is always the non-anxious POV bc she just doesn’t seem to ever get anxious about anything lol
She gets anxious about her health but pretty non anxious about everything else
She has a really hard time understanding people differ from her and when they do, she becomes very limited or any perspective beyond her own is very limited.
You should do an episode on parenting! How were you raised? How would you raise your kids? Would love to hear❤
Yessss
Mike was spot on with the girl wanting a heads up from her boyfriend. Matt and Erin definitely read the situation all wrong
Mike is ABSOLUTELY right about the text. It takes literally 20 seconds to send a text and you know it gives your significant other peace of mind, its simple to just do it. Its about the plan of your day being changed not about her doing anything shady
the let’s eat grandma made me laugh out LOUD at work
Its crazy being here since the first ep knowing I've watched 54+ hours of one podcast show
Same and I rewatch episodes 😅
I hope the girl asking for a text is not the Asshole because I totally see her point of view! It’s always nice to give a heads up because I would do the same if the schedule is deviating from the norm. It just gives time to mentally prepare to socialize and most likely do couple things. I think it’s a courtesy thing
"Let's eat grandma. Let's eat, grandma." LMAO Mike coming in hot with the examples 😂
Mike reading the ad directly off the script and not looking at the camera once 💀
I definitely understand mikes defense on the text situation, as someone who spends time alone almost 24/7, I absolutely need to prepare to share my space with anyone!
Matt’s face when Erin said she only has time for suits was iconic 😂
omg Mike, people are NOT mad that you don’t like Taylor swift. They’re mad at what you specifically said about her. I know I am shouting into the void but Jesus Christ
I don't think I've ever watched a RUclips video and been like " oh my God x is wearing a shirt again"
Rich people problems
the coming home topic i had the exact same take as mike. i hate surprises. any kind of them i don’t like them at all. whenever i go anywhere i always ask who is going to be there before hand just to know because i can mentally prepare myself for what i’m walking into. i don’t think she’s the ass hole at all for wanting a simple text from him before coming home she can shift her perspective of what her next hour is going to look like.
Can Carly and Erin please do a video on their main channel where they make Mike listen to Taylor Swift songs that are not just the ' radio hits'
She’s had mellow songs on the radio too not just shake it off, it’s really not revolutionary music I think he’s aware and just sure of his opinion here
Idk I think that there is something for everyone! Her radio hits are never her best songs imo… they’re good but they are not her best. I think Mike might enjoy Folklore.
Oh thank god, I’m DYING of bored at work rn
literally same just screamed out of excitement 😂
I think Mike explained the girls situation perfect. I'm EXACTLY like that and I don't think a quick text is too much to ask.
Matt doing that pose for the iPad kid was absolutely hilarious
I rewatched it like 10 times hahaha. He always has such a cough and it worked well this time with the coughing iPad kid 😂
MATT’S IPAD KID COUGH HAHAHAHA
Can you guys do an episode on famous true crime cases ?? Just throwing it out there, love yew guysssssss ❤️❤️
yes omg!!
I second this !!
Mike around the last bit (55min mark) you nail it on the dot! Although ya sketchy that ur person needs a heads up, I drive my gf to and from work all the time and enjoy my ‘me time’ but when I get a text I gotta get her early it’s all good, just change my plans a bit instead of doing my alone stuff. Sometimes I’m working on projects that are louder n she hates listening too, or I watch my shows that she ain’t gonna watch with me. It’s common respect and if you loved and trusted your partner a quick, heading home my love ain’t hard.
I agree with Mike about the girl wanting people to let them know when their home. I am introverted and have anxiety so I like to know what is happening and what goes on. I don’t like surprises
I completely agree with Mike on the text coming home early! (I don’t know that woman’s situation) but I am a stay at home mom and my husband works all day. I like when he shoots me a text or call when he’s on his way home so I can change my day around according to his arrival. Even pre kid, I loved my solitude and I appreciated when he let me know he was on his way home. I would hate for him to come home and nothing is done if that makes sense.. And funny thing is HE feels the same way… he likes to know I’m on my way home so he can do a quick clean up.
Also this podcast is such good vibes my iPad wouldn’t load and every frame as everyone laughing how adorbs is that. Matt looks so comfortable on this podcast, more than others imo. I listen to the pod at my cleaning job, before bed, on my walks and in the car. Just LOVE it. Love u guys!
The AITA about the text is so interesting. As someone who is on the spectrum and diagnosed ocd. My day revolves around a tiny schedule in my brain and I’ve mapped that out either the night before or that morning. To have something change during that schedule like someone showing up when you weren’t expecting, having noise when you thought it’d be quiet, even the outfit you planned in your head not looking how you thought it would can completely throw an entire mood or day off. To the “normal” person it’s no big deal and you instantly self adjust but for the quirky pals on the spectrum or with social issues a little heads up doesn’t seem like a lot to ask. If you have dated someone on the spectrum before it’s a very normal request and pretty easy adjustment but if you’re not use to that it seems unreasonable and weird I guess.
Matt judging Erin for wanting to rewatch suits yet I’ve rewatched suits like 4 times hahahaha
Same I love rewatching since I can skip all the scenes I hate too (always skip Trevor 🙄)
mike being a kombucha drinker is always a slay
Matt's face at 7:32 when Erin says he doesn't like a lot of things 😂 and Mike just dying in the background LMAO 💀
Matt, I agree with the birthday registry. Nothing worse than being a good gift giver and receiving shitty gifts or gifts not needed all of the time.
I saw something recently suggesting we should use registries for people graduating, specifically with Masters and PHDs but I think it could be for all grads. I love that idea - also new houses, big moves etc. I think it would be a great idea to use registries beyond weddings and babies.
No I just have to say that I completely agree w Mike!! its not about not wanting your partner home it is totally about how your expectations for the night are altered! Nothing wrong w a heads up text!! Me and my bf have the find my friends notif on for when we arrive at home so we have some warning.
I’m an introvert who’s chronically ill so I have sm fatigue, while my partner is an extrovert with unmedicated ADHD. Sometimes I also need a heads up when he’s coming home if it’s at a different hour than usual
I agree with Matt about the birthday registry, it’s better to get something they would actually like rather than something that’s a waste of money because it never gets used
I’m only a few minutes in but this is a fun one! Y’all seemed to be really giggly and vibing off each other this day!
You should do listener submissions for “Am I the A-hole”.
10000% agree with Mike. The point he brought up about adjusting her expectations of the night is such a good way to put it. She is not an ahole. She is expressing something simple she wants that will make her happy. It just isn't that hard to do!
matt do not underestimate the suits fandom. If suits has 1 million fans, then I'm one of them. If suits has one fan, then I'm THAT ONE.
If suits has no fans, that means I'm dead.
a food item that's transparent is spring roll wrappers!
also, i can relate that i need my alone time and would like to be told ahead of time a rough estimate of when i should be expecting my partner to come home. but i appreciate Matt and Erin's side and i like hearing opposing arguments, plus i find it entertaining when it SEEMS like they're giving Mike a hard time, but it's their friendship and they're being funny.
Carly’s smile is infectiously striking beauty😻
Not Matt thinking the lady’s name “Tonya” is weird when his girlfriend is literally named “PATRICIA” 😬🤣
The ferry conversation and Mike's lack of understanding of ferries being able to carry cars killed me! As someone who lives on Vancouver Island and frequents BC Ferries, who accommodate several HUNDRED cars, I thought it was hilarious. Come to Vancouver and hop on the boat to Vancouver Island! Us Islanders actually kind of hate our ferry service because of the extortionate pricing and lack of other options, but it's practically a mini cruise with several car decks, a few passenger decks, a restaurant, cafe, arcade room, kids play area, and gift shop! Not to mention the beautiful scenery!
My absolute favorite kind of episode! 🙌
Glass noodles are a see-through food!! Lol 26:45
oh! and rice paper wrappers!
I loved Suits! But Matt shitting on it was so funny. Erin laughing was making me laugh too 😆
52:15 omg do I ever relate to the person asking for a heads-up text from their partner when they leave work because of the wacky schedule!! I've been in this exact same situation before & my unsolicited response to the ~all too-common~ excuse of "I didn't think of it" that seems to come up in discussions where someone is repeatedly failing to respect a boundary that has been communicated is this: what you're really saying there, and what the person who cared enough to communicate a boundary hears is "I don't care enough about how this thing -that I perceive to be so meaningless despite it obviously being very important to you- impacts you and therefore, I don't care about you". Bottom line, in any type of remotely healthy relationship, whether it be platonic or not, you NEED to care about the things that the other person involved in the relationship cares about; and if you don't, then you simply aren't good for each other. Now, to anyone that made it this far into my dissertation and is thinking "damn, it's just a text, it's not that deep"; I implore you to read my last sentence again.
Absolutely agree with the heads up text. Especially with ADHD, I need time to decompress alone. WITH THAT, I also thrive on planning my alone time so that I am mentally prepared. It’s a stimulation decompression thing! The spiral my brain would have if someone walks in when I’m not expecting would be insane. It’s not a overprotective, malicious, or suspicious thing. It’s purely a want from ADHD. :)
It would be fucking annoying having to announce when you are coming home. If you like living alone so much dont move in with your partner or dont get married lol.
Carly suggesting the Alcatraz swim!! YESSS I live in San Francisco and when you said that it crackedddd me up 😂
You should do an episode on fashion trends/in and out currently, classics, etc
as an introvert myself, i’m still with erin and matt on not needing to send a text to let your partner know you’re coming home early. why do you need to mentally prepare yourself to see your own PARTNER. they should be able to see you at any point of the day and love what they see. i get needing some alone time bc i feel that way all the time but you shouldn’t feel anxious when you think about your partner. He literally LIVES there. if i had to try to remember to text my partner everytime i wanted to come home to my OWN HOUSE i would honestly feel like a prisoner. that sounds absolutely exhausting.
A simple way i try to remember the difference between envy and jealously is intent. Intent behind the emotion I feel determines the word being use. Mal- intent is usually jealousy while admiration is usually envy. I hope this helps!
ok but I relate to the introverted girl. I’m not doing anything weird and it’s not that I don’t enjoy my bf’s presence. It’s just like mike said, i would like to plan my night accordingly. If I’m having a self care night i would like to know when my bf is getting home so that we could do something else which is OKAY I don’t mind doing something else I just want to know what my night will look like. But then again I’m not that bothered by my bf being home early without telling me. I def think the girl might be hiding something lol I feel like she cares too much/ is making a big deal out of this BUT it would help if the bf tried a bit more to let her know
Neither is the asshole just idk they both need to compromise a bit more
I completely agree with her about the text thing. I have roommates who I’m very close and comfortable with and whenever I’m just vibing on the couch and watching tv having my me time, whenever they come home earlier than expected it just throws me off and I feel like I have to flip a switch and the energy is different now. It’s okay and I don’t get upset obviously but it’s definitely a thing. I think it stems just from being a person who really enjoys and values being alone, or also just having an idea of what your day or night is going to be in your head and now it’s different.
I literally cannot handle their takes on the warning text. It's not that big of a deal and it takes half a second as Mike said, I NEED my alone time and my privacy so if that time is getting cut short I'd like to know. it's not that she hates her partner and doesn't want him to come home. that's such a weird take.
If he's leaving work HOURS EARLY then obviously his day wasn't that busy
I call my fiancée when I’m on my way home from work because I never get off at a consistent time. I asked him after hearing the debate and he said he actually preferred it when I remembered because then he approximately knows when I’ll be home and can get dinner ready.
It’s not a fight if I forget though. He knows I get off at 6:30ish, depending on when I get my work done and said if it’s later than usual, he’ll check my location. I think that having each other’s location on might be the best compromise because it takes no effort from the boyfriend and the girlfriend knows when he will be on his way home.
Another thing I want to point out is that is it does seem weird that it is almost an “inconvenience” when her boyfriend comes home early. When my fiancée does, it’s the best thing and we get to have more time together at night. Also, they don’t seem to be mindful of each other either because my fiancée gets off at the same time everyday so I expect him home around the same time. If it gets to be 30 minutes after when he’s usually home, I’ll check his location then call him to see if everything is okay or just send a quick text, just because it’s out of the norm. I only do that, though, if I see he’s still at work, but if he’s at a gas station or grocery store, I don’t even question it.
There just seems to be a lack of communication because if you are living together, you should be allowed to still have your alone time. I like to decompress after the day by sitting underneath a blanket on my phone just to not have to talk to anyone, and then join my fiancée once I feel okay or I’ll go take a bath while watching a movie. He does the same, like playing video games with his friends or watching RUclips videos, but either way, there should be no shame in taking some alone time when you and your partner are both home.
Two words, Matt: THE WIRE. If you’re looking for challenge and change, virtually nothing on TV can beat it.
Swallowing the jello eater egg whole!!I had no idea other people experienced this, my sister and i would go crazy every Easter on the jello eggs 🤣🤣
Oh you should spend an episode taking old MySpace surveys and answering the questions they used to ask
not even 10 minutes into the episode and mike is already taking jabs at taylor swift 😤
these were recorded weeks ago so it was probably all right in that couple weeks of them having fun jabbing each other about it
Mike, please look up the ferries in Seattle / puget sound. They hold at least 100 cars that used to take them all the time. Sometimes I would sit in my car and other times I would go up to the deck.
I like when my husband text me or calls on his way home because I startle easily so if he comes in the house without me knowing he's coming home it usually jump scares me lol.
My chances of me winning the lottery are greater than Matt NOT saying Patricia's name, multiple times EVERY episode!!!🤣😜
i completely agree with mike and wanting to get a text from a partner before they got home as an introvert who loves their space. i am kinda like this with my best friend/roommate, but mostly use our tracking apps or i just ask her what time is she coming home to adjust and prepare myself. although, i also wont be mad if the person forgets to send a text sometimes, but making an effort to text will surely help. either way, randomly checking find my friends to feel at ease surely won't hurt. love u guys and the pod!! much love from the philippines. 😚❤
I opened RUclips for the sole purpose of commenting on the texting situation couple. I have the perfect solution.
She should turn the setting on in her phone where she gets a notification whenever he leaves his current location (aka work). It makes him aware that she will be notified, so nothing sneaky going on, and it’s completely harmless. If she only wants to know when he’s on his way home for the sole purpose of alone time which I heavily understand and relate to, they should do this. He never has to worry about remembering to text her and she never has to bother him and ask. I feel like this full proof lol it’s 2023. Love y’all
i really liked the no topic episode! but all of them are 10/10
For gift giving - sometimes my mom & I make a shared Pinterest board because she’s really picky & I like specific products. I fully think registries & gifts are awesome! But I’m the thoughtful giver & don’t always receive that outside my family
Another books part 2 would be cool!
16:38 embarrassed that the "duty" joke got me, brb gonna go reevaluate my life.
you guys should do an episode on tv shows!!! you've done movies, books, music...I would love to see a tv shows episode!!
I've rewatched suits soo many times yet have never been able to finish the series. 😅
I've been an office admin & am now in a similar position. Watering people's personal plants is crazy! Esp in a multi-floor business. My office is almost a greenhouse w all the plants but the people who brought them in care for them... If ANYTHING I could see watering Lobby/ Entry plants. The CEO. Not effin Tanya 😂
We have a spider plant that has babies a lot too! They asexually reproduce so they'll just start growing a new plant basically & you put that in water until it gets roots... pretty cool actually!
At least we know Erin and Matt don't understand what a boundary is.
I would like the text, but for a different reason than the person that submitted the AITA even though I am an introvert who does like their alone time but my partner getting home early isn't really a hassle for me. I would ask my partner to text me when they leave work early so that I have a timeframe of where they are from a totally different anxiety; the worry that something might happen to them between work and home.
If they left work early and don't arrive home then there is hours of them potentially being in trouble that I was unaware of and that's scary to me. If they get off work at 9 and usually get home at 9:30, then at 10:15 if I haven't heard anything I'm probably going to text to make sure everything is ok (not like panic mode yet, just a text like to see if they stopped at the store or something). I'm a bit of a worry wort like that, I'm more comfortable if I have a general idea that the people I care about are safely where I think they are.
However, if they get off work at 6 and something happens between work and home, that's four entire hours of who knows what before I even think something might have gone wrong. I've had some stuff like that happen throughout my family and it's one of the scariest things to me.
Now that's not to say I'm trying to demand they always come straight home from work, if they get off work early and text me like 'going to go shopping' or going to hang out with a friend or whatever, I have no problem with that of course. I'm not trying to dictate anyone's time, I just am more comfortable if I know where they are so I know not to worry about them. I always feel better when a friend or family is travelling and I know they've safely made it to whatever city or wherever even if I just see a pic on social media. I'm not asking every person I know keeps me informed of their travels either, I just feel better when I *do* know they've arrived safely somewhere.
"U should of paused, squinted and said are you ok" 1,000,000
ive always been taught that a ferry IS a boat that commutes people with cars. i’ve been on one in Galveston to go to a beach but that is crazy mike was so confused about hearing cars go on the ferry bc i’ve never heard of it being without cars
Erin and matt looks like a married couple, they match pretty well together 😂
"envy is melissa gorgas store" actually had me dying and they just glossed over it.
Everything Matt said about Suits is SO TRUE lmfaooo
love this podcast keep it up!!
Hi y’all, love the podcast and everyone’s opinions! I wanted to jump in and give my perspective on telling a significant other when you’re coming home. My fiancé and I (34 yo) have been together 10 years and 4 of those years we’ve lived together. Even when we didn’t live together we let each other know when we were on our way home. In my eyes it’s more of a safety thing and just an update. We’re going to be on the road and commuting in California is a bit crazy and you just never know what can happen. It’s also an opportunity to do a quick check in to see if we need to stop at the store or if he’s had a rough day I’ll have a nice cocktail waiting for him or vice versa.
❤ Natalie
mike was right about tswift x McDonald’s and I’ll stand behind that !!!!!!
Omg I’m dying 😂 it’s Christina Pazsitzky not Christina pazkinsky lol, I wanna send this to your moms house podcast, because they love when people mess up their names. 10:16
AITA: I literally give my family a list of gifts I want for my birthday and Christmas 😅 they know I am particular and they will ask me for the list if I dont send it out 30 days before hand. Also I am born a week before Christmas so it’s easier for them to just get me one specific gift I actually want instead of running around trying to find two random items they think I would enjoy
This confirms my suspicion that extroverts do not understand introverts! For me there is a huge difference when I’m alone vs there is someone in the house w me. I like to mentally prepare myself as well! It’s a different vibe entirely. I’m with mike on this!
Highkey live for Mikes Taylor slander😂😂
For the opening hat convo: snipers in the army needed to turn their caps, which also helped start the trend