"Did I Have A Traumatic Childhood?" 10 Signs of Childhood Trauma | Psychotherapy Crash Course
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- #trauma #childhoodtrauma #PTSD
**PLEASE NOTE: The traumatic experiences mentioned in this video does not mean OTHER experiences do not matter. They DO!! The experiences mentioned in the video are ADDITIONAL traumatic experiences you may minimize as "non-traumatic."
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Do you ever wonder if you experienced a traumatic childhood?
Do you already know you experienced a traumatic childhood but can't figure out what is to blame 100%
Childhood trauma is an interesting but rarely discussed topic in mainstream society. There are many reasons for this but the most obvious reason is that children are often not thought of as having experienced childhood trauma. They are also not thought of as individuals in our society who are experiencing hardships, challenges, or terrifying experiences.
But it is important we understand childhood trauma so that we can understand why adults in our society and in our lives behave and think the way they do. We have to understand how our childhood has impacted us to understand who we are. Sometimes this is essential and sometimes it is not.
In this video, I discuss the impact of childhood trauma and the 10 signs you may have experienced it yourself.
Discussed in this video:
-Intro 0:00
-How should I look at childhood trauma 2:40
- Lack of parental support 4:32
-Frequent changes in guardians 6:45
-Adult expectations that change too frequently 8:23
-Being forced to be separated from your parent 9:09
-Homelessness and poverty 13:20
-Severe bullying and assault 15:20
-Unexpected grief & loss 15:58
-Violence in the home/domestic violence 16:58
-Severe abuse/neglect/maltreatment 17:55
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---Contact me------
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally certified mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com.
*Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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Thanks Tamara! Love you videos!!!! You have helped me sooooo much.
💖😊 You're welcome! Thank you for watching!
I was conditioned to believe , i was ungrateful. Because there was food and shelter, I normalized being belittement and beating with a weight belt often no clothing due to my A.D.D. This was done by my mother's boyfriend , and in black culture the emasculation of boys is praised, and she loved for it . The abuse conflated with the A.D.D obliterated my selfworth. Learn to love yourself , so you can start healing. I love your topics!
Thank you for sharing this. Very important points. And I agree with taking that pain and then learning to love yourself. It's an important process.
It takes a lot of strength to learn to love yourself after being raised in this way. It is like turning a train around while it is in motion. And yet, it can be done, as your comment demonstrates. ☮️❤️
Hope you're alright now mate. Keep swimming.
This video makes me realize that I was very depressed as a child and it has gone into my adulthood.
My parents left me to my own devices, there were no rules, but if they wanted to vent their anger on us they would explode over the smallest things. Total mindscrew.
I'm sorry to hear this. Your parents obviously needed help long before they had you.
I felt that. It’s so strange. You’d assume with no rules a kid is either really lucky or spoiled, but something just.. wasn’t right. No rules plus out of control emotions is kind of hell for a home environment.
Had the same experience, glad I'm not imagining things. It felt like it was their passive way of telling me they wish I wasn't born, and that I wasn't welcomed in their life. And I spent my best years doing just that: erasing myself from everyone's sight so I wouldn't be a burden.
I also experienced this, and violence between my two older brothers, verbal and emotional abuse. The neglect and then explosive rages my siblings or parents would have is the cause of my hyper vigilance. 😑 A special kind of hell…
Thankyou sis for your great advice hi sis I was violate and abuse in childhood leave scars from it on my body and was rape
***intergenerational abuse (verbal and physical), neglect (emotional and physical), even if the family is all present 7 days a week, even if the family eats dinner together every single night.... I can remember the adrenaline pumping thru my body and head at dinner time, just waiting for criticism or blaming or scolding to start over any little thing, the coldness, the meanness... ***
my story too. i still shudder at some of the cold meanness and I am now 65. \i don't want to trigger anyone here, but when my brother buried the ashes he stamped on the earth saying "You won't get out out of there in a huuy will you bitch?
Ugh...I can so relate, and I actually thought I grew up in a loving home.
@Naema that is awful but that's how he felt about her. It's sad to believe a child could have hatred for their parent.😔
@planet earth adventures I am sorry to hear this. Children do not deserve to feel this way. You highlight the biological process of the stress response in response to trauma. You may find my video helpful on the topic of the stress response. You can find it through search and the hashtag #withme.
@@naemasufi7588 I can totally relate... My parents understood a tiny fraction of this phenomenon, oddly. I remember when my mother's father died, my mother took a sweater of his and placed it on the floor in the bathroom and urinated on it for spite.
If she can remember doing that and if she is honest with herself, she will easily see how she resented her father but while he was alive she never confronted him about anything; therefore she should easily be able to extrapolate from that, the reason why I cut her off completely in 1995. These people tend to be very low IQ I found however, and cannot really see the big picture. Your brother is stomping on the ashes and saying that just proves what I have always thought: THIS WAS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. And that is the extent of the damage that these kinds of parents did without maybe even being aware of it.
I do wanna raise the issue I have that relates to this hyperfocus on abusive parents. My trauma didn‘t come from my parents but it still messed up my life to a significant degree. But it is really isolating and invalidating to only ever hear people‘s trauma being validated if the abuse or whatever the cause was came from parents. The world isn‘t black and white. There is not just happy childhoods or parental abuse. Trauma can come from other relatives, peers in your school environment, teachers, strangers like family friends or even friends you have. So please just once actually try to not imply that the only survivors that matter are those with one specific kind of trauma. It‘s really toxic tbh. I shouldn‘t envy people with parental abuse because the trauma I suffered doesn‘t fit into the „valid victim narrative“ you „experts“ hyperfocus on. This is just making it worse for so many survivors.
I had a very traumatic childhood. I’m so glad I’m not a child anymore, working to heal from all I experienced.
You can set yourself free now that you are older and free from that. I recently did a video on helping yourself do better and I stated it's important to treat your adult self better than your child self. You can do that now.
@@TherapistTamaraHill I will check it out. Thanks 😊
Absolutely. You're welcome!
You and me both. Good for you👏👏
Sadly my family is like this I came from two extremely traumatized parents who were both abused by their parent.
Yes. I'm sorry.😔 That's intergenerational trauma for sure.
Same...when I was very young I can remember my mother telling me "I never got shown, so I don't know how to give it." I was young, like 10 thinking how can I help my mom and how can I take her pain away, when all I did was ask for a hug. No pity for me. I'm 47, but finally on the road to recovery that started with an intergenerational family curse, narcissitic abuse by both parents, my mother was an adult child of an alcoholic. Physical abuse by my older sister who was left at home to babysit us. I was the scapegoat. Sexual abuse and every form of loss from a sibling, both parents, a child. But I realize, especially listening to Tamara talking about the children she's been privileged to have cross her path, and vice versa. Just terrible what so many children in America go through. Sounds like a third world country. My heart aches right now for so many hurting, when I'm not much better myself. Sorrowful.
My goodness, same here. Going backwards in my family history, psychopaths and abusers. Where did it start? One carries such a burden! But the buck stops here, with us!
Yea it gies on and on...
Unfortunately people don’t need a test of qualification to become a parent!
Omg...this was my life growing up dysfunctional. Sums up why complex PTSD is still affecting me today. Tamara you are an angel healer sent from God. Thank you
I'm sorry to hear that. Childhood PTSD can last a lifetime but healing is possible.
And thank you for these sweet words!! 😇🙏Glad I could help.
My mom died when I was six. My dad had hard time to deal with it. I lived in a joint family, so my aunt took care of me and brother's clothes and other needs cause dad used to be usually busy. I remember being left alone most of time and eventually I preferred staying alone. Later around 9 years old,my dad remarried and it wasn't the best experience with my stepmom. She and grandma had many fights and all the anger and frustration was removed on me verbally and physically. Being accused for something u didn't do, constant fights in the family, stress from school (she put me in another school), strained relations between family members and so on.I somehow For all these years, I have been struggling with self worth and rhought for the longest of time that I am victimizing myself (which I still think I am) but even now my body trembles and headaches occur everytime I talk about this.
I really felt validated.
Thank you so much for ur efforts
Thank you. I recently had to come to awareness of all of this. Im darn near old, but it helps to hear it articulated in a way where i'm not just being, "sensitive."
Good, but damn near old sounds rude. What's wrong with that?
I remember severe bullying and assault in primary school, up and including year 7. Everyday (I remember that stuff than good home stuff.) Unexpected grief is not just someone dying (sister in car accident, passenger). Also is unexpected accidents and illnesses, yourself and family members. That have long healing or no healing/disabilities that worsen over time. Then - Also unexpected multiple pregnancy of single sister, started at 19. Praise the Lord, I'm healthy! The missing bits can stay missing, That life is all under the blood. I am a new creature in Christ. A new life with the Lord, my husband and Jack Russell. Halleluja!!❤😊 Onwards and Upwards.. 🤠
Parts of this hit home hard,thank you for making this one.It’s sad to see so many of us in here💔
I am 46 and I don't remember anything of my childhood. I do recall some of my teenage life but nothing from before that.
I was born with a heart condition and had open heart surgery as small child. Spent most of my childhood days in hospital.
My father was at times abusive and a alcoholic and my mother divorced him later but I also had to live with a mother who liked men too much and did not really care for me in the way I desired.
I believe these event in my life is the reason I don't really remember anything. I feel so unattached with my life.
I'm sorry Michelle. That's very hard. You may need to work through this, if you haven't already, through psychotherapy with the right therapist and self-learning through books, videos, etc. The more knowledge you have on what happened to you the better you are able to heal. Take care
Dr. Tamara your content is so important and I thank you.
You are so welcome! And thank you!
Thank you Dr. Tamara this really moved and helped me..
I can relate on so many levels, definitely helping me on my healing journey.
have a good day.
You're welcome.💖 Absolutely! That's great.
Love this topic!! Thank you for posting love. 🧡🧡🥰
I went through all of these.
You're welcome!!💖😊
Your videos are amazing!!! Thank you. I was switched from person to person. Very traumatic.
Thank you!!
Yes, that is traumatic indeed.
Hello there, thank you for your video. I am an adult person who has grown up with a mother who was in a German concentratio camp as a childe. She lost a big part of her family and at the concentration camp she was separated from the rest of the family. She survived and late at life she finished university, worked and had family (kids, me and two other girls). She was not an easy person, we had everthing, but we had to be perfect at school, she treated us as boys and used to be very critical and negative. She did lots of things in life she did not actually like nor enjoyed and was kind of without emotions but very caring. he would punish us with silent treatment and sometimes could be angry and moody. Can not explain better.
Also, I grew up witnessing domestic violence my father hitting my mom nearly killing her
Daniela,
That's traumatic for sure. I might have a video on this channel about domestic violence. Once your brain develops a snap-shot of this the brain is traumatized.
I could share this with my mother and she still would not care. Didnt hear one thing that doesnt describe my childhood. All of it was a factor. I know Im traumatized. Ive been in therapy for a year now and finally starting to get better.
I'm sorry to hear this. These kind of parents are so hard to live with, even harder to grow up with.
🙏🙏🌷🌷
your a good person. i appreciate your videos
Thank you for sharing this videos Tamara💙❤️💙❤️
Of course!! 😊 you're welcome!
God sent your videos to me when I needed help the most, you're helping me heal. I am a black 25 years old young woman, listening to you is like listening to the story of my childhood/early stages of life...literally. You're helping me acknowledge and process all my traumas, so that I can change, heal ad break the trauma cycle so traumas won't be present in my future lineage. Thanks from the bottom of my heart 🤍.
Your videos have helped so much in just one day already my goodness, thank you thank you .
Thank you! I'm so glad! Glad these videos are helpful to you.
I have depression and anxiety
I'm sorry. Research does suggest that if you have one you are likely to have the other. They are often "siblings." One almost can't be treated without treating the other which is why some antidepressant medications target both.
Having the basics for life
Helps prevent having to go for counseling
I am a twin who was underweight and was hospitalized several times as a child. My Mother, who struggled growing up with childhood trauma, and was married to a man who experienced bouts of depression, as well as a violent temper had no patience for me and conditioned me to believe that there was “something wrong” with me because I cried a lot.
Consequently, my Mother favored my twin sister and constantly compared me to her.
Several years later, when baby sister was born, my Father favored her.
Fast forward, as a result of the toxic nature of my family relationships as well as the nasty aftermath of two divorces, I left the state in 1986.
Regrettably, when I moved back in 2004 following the death of my third husband and needed financial advice well as support from my two “favored” sisters because my 14 year old was totally out of control, I began to get “sucked” back into the virtually inescapable “quicksand” (as a writer I love that term!) of my incredibly toxic family dynamics.
Great video!!!!
Thank you! Glad this was helpful!
Great vid! I like the music at the end 🎉😊
Thank you! 😁 And it is catchy.
I know is way more people with big things happening to them but for me is the physical and verbal abused by mother growing up, in my contry PR is like normal and like no adult intervened for me or my brothers and know is affecting how I am as a mother and is seems I'm repeating the same cycle not to that level but I seem to lose patience raised my voice and use intimations and I see me in my child' eyes. I wish I can get the help but due financials all mental treatment need to put aside. Sorry I have nobody from my family or close friends that I cant say this without getting away or just dont understand. Thanks for doing this video.
Your videos are so nice, it's weird coming to terms with trauma despite never been hit and always having food.
Would you consider making a video on the consequences of children of mentally ill parents who never explained to their illness to their kids? My father is extremely ADHD and my mom comes from a culture that minimizes mental illness. The result was a childhood spent thinking that whenever he was late, or did something wrong, I was told it's because he did not care about us. I was alienated from my father hearing how awful he is... Now I have been diagnosed ADHD and I too am behaving exactly like the person I was raised to hate. "You're just like your father" is such a hurtful insult to throw at your child. Learning his actions were not malicious, just a disability, has left me so confused, now I don't have a stable relationship with either of them...
Girl I mean you just hit the nail on the head 🗣️
🙊
Great insight
Thank you for watching!!
Hi Tamara. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and your compassion. My spouse has the kind of codependency that resembles narcissism. He is very emotionally immature and unavailable. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive to me many times. This didn’t become clear to me until I was about 6 weeks postpartum with baby # 2 and he called me ugly and then laughed and said I was so sensitive when I told him how it hurt me. I ended up with three children with him. I want a divorce. I can’t fully heal and thrive around him and I want my life back. My kids have witnessed this abusive behaviour on occasion and they, especially my daughters, feel they cannot trust him enough to to be honest or confide in him with problems. He is extremely dismissive. However, I don’t want to traumatize them thigh divorce. I also don’t want them to be alone with him when they need emotional support bc I know they won’t get it and he will probably try to turn them against me if I leave. I’ve seen him be vindictive and dishonest before with others. He has already committed parental alienation with them. He told them I was a liar. I am actively healing from a lifetime of emotional and verbal abuse from emotionally unavailable parents. No surprise there, right? What modalities of therapy would you suggest for me and should I go ahead with divorce? What ages would be the best for them if I leave?
Def divorce if this is true imo. Idk I'm 18
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏yess mine was horrific these poor children sometimes don't get away😪
Hello glad I found your channel I watched by day beat my mom and my siblings and I from age 5-17 then my aunt and grandma got custody of my sister and I fast forward I have the hardest time going to bed at night because when I was small my dad would wake us up our sleep beating on us and my mom
Was worse than i thought. 😮💨Neglect doesnt go away
Please make a video of a child having to sleep with the narcissistic, people why, and how, and what to do about it.?
I love your topics. Sorry to be late....
Thank you!
Yes.
Our elderly in nursing homes have been are currently experiencing trauma. They have been forced to their own devices by being firced to live in solitary confinement. Isolating them from activities, family, friends. They aren't even allowed to walk the hallways or eat in a cafeteria. They are forced to eat & stay in their rooms from morning to night. When all they want need, is a smile and a hug. But they can't even get that, due to the only people that come into their room is head to toe PPE.
If they have hearing issues its made worse by the mask ad the sounds are muffled and they can't read the lips.
Its a form of genocide. Very traumatic to stand by, powerless and watch your loved one deteriorate through a window.
They tell you, its for their protection. But they aren't really protecting the elderly, they are spiritually and emotionally torturing them. This has been going on for at least 7 months.
No one is allowed in, not pastors, nuns, barders, beauiicians, family. Nothing that helped that person feel, self worth, self valued, or acknowledged. Could you do this? When your only crime is age. Not even allowed to go outside. Freash air, sunshine, see or hear song birds. Even murders are allowed in the yard
10 min/day, I tell you, its genocidal
Thank you k j for sharing this account of your experience. I'm sure subscribers will be able to relate to this experience. It's tough indeed. Heartbreaking to say the least.
I've just come across your channel - I wish you were in New Zealand! I'm a grown child of a mum with badly managed bipolar disorder....it was a difficult childhood. I would love to chat with you and try to get through my trauma...
Hi Emily
Thank you.🙂
feel free to email me at contact at anchoredinknowledge.com.
Take care
Can you relate to these experiences?
Absolutely! I would send you to the psych ward.
I honestly believe that it's vital to fully understand how it has affected me.
I think I have accepted the actions of each traumatic event, but I want to understand what reactions where cause by what part
Yes. But not exactly in the same scenario like what you've described here. Another scenario, but still with similar outcome.
Many guardians and the feeling/ knowing of being unwanted in every household.
I was born to raise my siblings. My parents didn't raise us when they were together and didn't raise us when they divorced. Being a child that raises children is difficult. Also, there is no reward because your parents don't give you credit for anything. Plus, the siblings don't care as well.
Oh my. What a realistic and honest perspective. I see a lot of this in my work. I'm sorry you have been the victim of this.
If there is any side effects of trauma, PTSD is definitely one of those, does anyone experience deja vu?
Thanks. Subscribed. ET1(SS/SW/MTS) US Navy, Ret.
Welcome to the channel! And thank you for subscribing. Feel free to join me live on Fridays after 5:00pm. I have one coming up this Friday 6:00pm est.
Hi Tamara, could enexpectedloss of yourself be the same. As that is what I went through a a 14 year old kid. I went through depression and loss of self a change that happened very quickly. It effected everything for me since then. Have you come acrosss a case similar to mine?
Sosa Q, good points. I would say it depends on the extent to which this impacted you and the intensity. For most people this is a normal process of trying to understand and find themselves. However, this process can lead to prostitution, substance abuse, negative and abusive relationships, poor decisions, etc. In these cases, yes, I would say these are traumatic.
I identified with almost all of those....damn.
Idk if it counts as childhood trauma. But i did something bad as a child i was in grade 8. And that ws something that is considered taboo in my religion. And my parents were devastated. And seeing them that way and how they said some things to me which they ddnt mean ofcourse but bcz they were so mad and hurt. The words stayed with me. I always felt guilty and that i was the bad child and that has resulted in me being an adult now 24 i have depression anxiety suicidal behavior. Idk if it counts as trauma bcz i was wrong as a kid but the guilt never went away even if my parents forgave me. I cannot discuss it openly with a psychiatrist or anybody. I just dont know what to do about it
I know I’m still a child, (because I’m 14) but I think it was a mixture of my mother and older brothers that made me this. It was obvious that my parents never knew how to handle my older brothers. They often got beat even though they were in the right. (Ex. Older brother beating his bully then he got beat for standing up for himself) Older brother 2 was neglected by his 2nd family and because of this it slammed him with depression. I distinctly remember one moment when I was playing video games when I was 4, and older brother 1 said to me I was lazy, a coward, and weak. Older brother 2 locked himself away from me, and from everyone else and I could understand it, but does it make it right? There was also my mother and me. She has high functioning autism and because of it she is disconnected. (Could be also the fact that she had a rough childhood and no real parents) All of this scared me. Because my brothers were constantly mean to me, my mother was disconnected, and my older brothers saying these stories of how they were beat. I was always scared I was going to get hit. I don’t know. This is probably just the ramblings of a random 14 year old who’ll just drown in a family that didn’t know how to handle kids.
You are very astute and aware for a 14 year old. Is there someone like a counselor at school you can talk to about this? You are ahead of a lot of us and this is a great time for your to learn tools to support yourself and growth during this important time in your life.
🔥
My mother walked out one day while I was at school, about one week after allowing my uncles to molest and water board me. I felt her abandonment of me was my fault.
I’m so very sorry you experienced this!!!
Wow
I have a question. When you use the term childhood, what is the age perimeter? Do you mean 0 to adolescence? Do you mean 0-12? Please let me know, it’s important 🙏
Childhood is any child under age 18 in this video. Hope that helps!
Move on with your life. You are smart and intelligent and absolutely gorgeous. Remember what Kelly Clarkson sings, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Appreciate that you survived and focus on helping others who aren't as strong as you move forward and leave the past in the past. Ruminating and focusing on it will not allow you to move forward and your past will control your future. You survived for a reason. Ask God what the reason and purpose is and wait. He will show you. God alone, not the Universe. Pray to the One who made the Universe. His name is Yahweh.
why can't I fully remember my trauma even after hearing about it multiple times?
That's a great question. It might be your brain blocking things so that you can move forward in your daily life. It could simply be a protective mechanism at work.
@@TherapistTamaraHill I believe it is a protective mechanism because now that I've reworked how my Nutty parents controlled me, I'm staring to feel the sadness of childhood, and much repressed anger as well. I seem to alternate bad days where I relive childhood days with productive good days when I live in the NOW. Part of ey must be grieving...?
My dad just dies 2 wks ago and we buried him yesterday . I thought I had processed most of the truam I had as a kid..but I feel now as if the truam just happened yesterday and the emotions are all over the place.. did not expect this
well, technically I was placed in foster care because genocide lol, but the horrific abuse was the same nonetheless. if i wasn't indigenous, I wouldn't have been taken away. and having to come to terms with that is the worst part.
Thanks for video. Can so relate. But, please, don’t add that background music. Disturbing. Thank you once again. 🙏
LOL - It's always something. Can't please them all. Some want music and some do not. But glad this video was helpful!
Is there such a thing as a functional family? Genuinely asking
Extremely rare! Let's see how Therapist TamaraHill answers this. 😍
My mum literally shouted at me for leaving the bathroom door closed.......
I'm sorry. It sounds like your mom needs emotion management and some self-control.
4:10 ... the cause of traumatic childhood is psychopathic parents? And people without childhood trauma have "normal" parents? Um I actually need help understanding my trauma to cope with it in reality sooooo...I'll show myself out
That's not what I heard her say. She put air quotes around normal, so I think she means that psychopathic parents will very obviously fuck you up, but you can be fucked up by non-psychopathic, seemingly "normal" parents, too. I thought mine were "normal". Boy, was I wrong.
I was raised by both present parents I was planned from the beginning went to hood schools had everything I needed got everything I wanted traveled for all it’s worth good childhood yet I have no memory of it from birth through probably about 15 years of age. I’m sure the memories I do have are from pictures I’ve seen constantly growing up.
It's amazing how the mind works. It's likely blocking this for some reason.
I respect Tamara a lot, and I don't want to intrude, yet I'd like to share how my parents got off track with their 4 kids. My dad was a PK (preacher's kid) My mom had Christian leanings, though not from her family. I'm wondering if she had Anosorgnosa? Anyway, they met at a Christian private college. We kids were raised by Christians. Many old time Christians were Authoritarians! God is head of mankind (?) Dad's are head of households, then Mom's (if lucky) Therefore, ALL decisions were parental made. Children had NO VOICES. I was emotionally neglected. I had two narcissistic siblings (both golden children. I was the youngest who became scapegoated later in life.)
My abuse was not as horrific as most others, but it was insidious, because of the Generational Abuse that gets continuously passed from Generation to Generation. I understand that Christianity is a verboten topic. I wish you could cover the Christian angle of abuse sometime because personally it has essentially psychologically murdered my entire family, except me - because Christianity never made sense to me or my siblings. I choose to dig deeper and turned to psychology in very early 20's. No one else was curious to try therapy.
Thank you for sharing this angle of things. Not all Christian households are truly Christian, despite following the doctrine or faith. I have so many clients who feel this way and have experienced religious abuse or an abusive home with religious teachings. I did a video on this last year that may be helpful too: ruclips.net/video/dL_3l28KEcc/видео.html.
Kind of makes me feel invalidated tbh
I'm glad you mentioned this because it gives me an opportunity to HIGHLIGHT that this does not mean OTHER experiences do not matter. They DO!! It's just that these are areas we tend to ignore and my focus on this channel is always to "pull out" the hidden things.
I don't see how??? It just validates these experiences matter too.
Sorry, but back then it was just called childhood. I would all parents parents in have shrinks. All we did not have shrinks. We just had to move up and dust off and move on. Why go back now analyzing something that can never be resolved Because previous generations did not have help. We cannot blame them for what they did not know. I can talk to my 80-year-old parent and tell him you are an abuser and I hate you for it. Even though I experienced everything under the sun, except sexual abuse, because they did not know any better. There was no help for my generation. We tried a best and now this hell for the new generations. And you creating such a big gap with this. Blaming us that we are abusers. When we did not have any help, we just get the blame. I don't think that's ok
In my 29, I find out that I have a trauma in my childhood. 🥲. I think at first it normal about my life. But, it turn out, its not right when I find out the truth. I feel I waste my life till adulthood because I'm clueless about my life, questiong over, "what wrong in me" . I don't know its happen because neglected upbringing, absent mother, fatherless ( my parent divorced in my four grade elementary school), abandonment issue, and I have bad social skills since I'm in kindergarten that make me struggle to develop relationship because my low self esteem, my low self worth. I don't know, its named traumatic childhood. Okay, its make sense now. Thank you..