How to Simplify Christmas (with family who don't want to!)
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Most of us want to SIMPLIFY Christmas, but we hesitate because we know everyone in our family won't agree. Today, let's talk about WHY its so important to push past our fear and HOW we can have these (sometimes) tough conversations about Holiday gifts & get togethers.
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Maybe the person that gave you the candle was thinking the same thing, it's the thought that counts. In my opinion, it was a perfect gift for a minimalist, it's disposable, you burn it and throw away the jar. There is no need to keep the gift to crowd your house, just burn and toss.
The Minimal Mom thank you for changing my life!!! Your family is such an inspiration!!! ❤️
....I've bought jar candles from a friend who makes them to give as gifts because *I* was so delighted with her fragrances (natural smelling, not those cheap, fake, mass-produced, sickly sweet chemical-smelling ones).
Now I'm afraid they didn't like them. 😭
When I was broke (and I do mean BROKE) my friends and I came up with the "Walmart Secret Santa" game. Basically each person get's a person to buy for (so you only have to get one gift) and then pick a number out of a hat. The number corresponds to an isle at Walmart. You go down that isle and pick something for your person and that is their gift. Whether it be a bottle of ranch dressing, jug of milk, or can of green beans, it can be as cheap or expensive as you can afford AND it's fun. The last time I played I got my person a bag of king-size marshmallows which he really enjoyed cuz he and his step son were getting ready to go on a camping trip. It really made his and his son's day!
Even after I was no longer BROKE I still enjoy this game, and you never quite know what you're gonna get~
years ago, in a "chinese gift exchange" at work, our employer purchased all of the "gifts" be they quite expensive and nice to just silly and fun. I ended up with a SAMS club size bottle of Tylenol and Advil, and I thought it was a great gift, we were a household of 6 at that time and those pills lasted us for years LOL. A useful gift and one we reopened many times over LOL
I love this!
Naatta This is great! I’m going to incorporate this into our next Christmas gift exchange. So fun!
Great idea!!!!
Our stopped doing a gift exchange several years ago. Instead we play games at our get together and laugh and have great memories each year.
Love this!!!!! ♥️
We do the same. I love board game since all the family can play together.
We do the same thing. Often we end up playing new games that the kids got. Monopoly and yahtzee can get cutthroat in our house lol
@@TheMinimalMom ❤❤❤
Yes We've done white elephant gift giving, someone reads a story (2 words are picked out before hand, 1 word the gift goes to the right, the other word goes to the left) when the story is done, that's the gift you get. SO much fun.
We never gave gifts outside of for our children when they were young. Now that everyone is adults and have been for many years we look so forward to the time together. Our children hence look forward to the time together as the most important part of a holiday. Because we haven't done gifts for many years, they were all thrown off last year when I gave our oldest a gift box to open while we all watched. It was a card that said, "Save the date! January 9, 2019 and then on the inside said Kidney transplant day! He was stunned! You see he only was diagnosed five months before and so he could not believe it would happen so soon! I was healthy and a perfect match to give him one of my kidneys. Best Gift our whole family received! Fast forward ten months, all healthy and blessed!
Gloria Walsh this made me cry. So sweet.
What a wonderful gift!
Praise the Lord! 🙌🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this story! ❤️
💚
I've cut back on my gift giving years ago when my husband was unemployed, it was really difficult and a couple of family members had much to say about it. For friends we cut out gift exchanges and just take over a tray of cookies or candy we made. Our kids have always just received 3 gifts (like the gifts of the 3 kings) from Santa , my husband said if it was good enough for Jesus then it's good enough for them.The nice part of this was that the kids really took time to think about what they wanted instead of just asking for everything they saw. This has been a source of trouble over the years(mostly when they were little and believed in the magic of Santa) as one of my siblings children receive 10 or more from Santa and my husband's siblings child received 1 . The problem is how to explain that to kids? The child is often left feeling like they were bad or not good enough, which isn't the case. My boys are teenagers 17 and 15 now, and last year my oldest and his friends were talking about what they were hoping to get for Christmas. My son said to a friend , "hey you should stop bragging about all the stuff your parents are getting you, not all are friends parents can afford to get that much " , he then pointed out that one kid might not be getting anything because his dad has lost his job the week before. Sadly the friend wasn't sympathetic ( they had grown apart since... hmm? ) . I was very proud of my son for his mature attitude on gifts. I wish there was an easy answer for how to handle this, but I don't have one. There will always be a parent who feels they need to buy a ton of gifts.
I love the idea of only 3 gifts. Additional gifts could be dropped off at homeless shelters.
I just had this difficult conversation with my extended family members in October! I started by telling them I had agreed with my BF last year to stop Christmas and birthday gifts and instead agreed to meet once a month for lunch...it’s been fantastic and brought so much joy to us. Every single family member was thrilled and totally agreed.. we won’t all be able to meet monthly but have committed to at least 3-4 x a year carving out a day to spend together or have a long phone call ...we all have what we need and are so tired of the consumerism aspect of celebrating Christmas. It’s the first Christmas in years that I feel relief over no gift buying!
Great solution and so enjoyable to boot!
This is awesome!!! Way to go!!!!
That's amazing. I'm so tired of consumerism as well. I remember one of my daughters early xmas she was into barbie. My husband and I spent way too much money on all of the barbie things. Within the month they were all over the floor, half broken and i dont know how much went up the central vac. I even put a hole into my foot steeping on a barbie house table. From then on we curbed the stuff. We bought experiences and stocking stuffers. I always turn the channel when all the toy ads come on. Even when we get the catalogs with stickers to mark what you want. For my grandchild i went quality over quantity. My fav buy was a wooden balance tricycle that has the parts to make it a bicycle and goes from 12mths to 5yrs instead of being out grown over night.
What a lovely idea!!!
Great idea.
We decided to draw names in my husband's family this year and get each other socks. So everyone are getting socks for each other and no one is expecting anything else.
I realize that this video and comments are a few years old but I really wanted to share this. When I was newly a single Mom of three, I had to rely on the food bank programs. It was especially hard around Christmas. But our local food bank has a sponsoring program where a business or family can choose to sponsor another family, they choose if it’s a single child family, multiple, etc and then try to get them some things from their list. Going in together with others can really help with the cost. I was chosen that year and we received a car load of items like new sheets, paper towels, baking items, a few toys for the kids, dish towels, etc as that’s what I had on my list. I was so grateful I sat right in the middle of my kitchen floor and cried surrounded by these everyday items people take for granted. I’m thankful to be in a better situation now, but this is something you could do instead of a gift exchange among each other.
That's wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Last Christmas, my family all agreed to forgo gifts for each other, and then donate the money we would have spent on gifts to a local charity of our choice ( we are all scattered geographically ). It was a huge success. My husband and I were able to give a very nice sum to our local food bank. It felt better than any gift we had previously given or received. Wishing you all joy and happiness this season
I have 3 good friends that I go to dinner with each month and last year I suggested that we give each other the gift of “no stress” and not exchange Christmas gifts. I really didn’t know how it would go, but all immediately agreed! Our friendship and time together is worth much more than any material gift.
That's so awesome!! ♥️👍
In my family we give experiences as presents such a: ticket for a musical, a day trip or a special dinner. That way we show we’re thoughtful, we strengthen relationships and we stick to minimalism
This is excellent, my mom purchases an annual family zoo pass for each of my four adult child children and their families, she has done this for a good number of years and each of the four families really enjoy being able to go to the zoo anytime they want and not having to shell out the admission price each time. It is a wonderful gift and enjoyed by all.
The adults in my family exchange cards with info about a charity we've donated to in their name, instead of exchanging physical gifts.
I start dreading Christmas and holidays around the end of September/ beginning of october.....isn't that so sad. It didnt used to be that way. But since having kids and the running around and feeling like it's a financial obligation instead of a joyous time with family is tough. And the pressure to come up with lists is exhausting. If I give you and list and you give me a list why dont we just buy what we want for ourselves and get together and plan show and tell lol. Also I truly hate that Thanksgiving doesn't have the same meaning for others as it does for me, people just skip over it and it's my favorite:)
My family stopped gift exchanging years ago. It's now all about the family, laughter, eating and of course, the birth of Jesus = Stress free Christmas. 😊
Great content! The best Christmas gift I ever received from my Mom was a few years ago. She bought my sister and I beautiful huge lasagna pans and she put together her lasagna in each of them. Moms reasoning was that she remembered having children/teens at home and that the days between Christmas and New Years being hectic so she thought taking home a good meal would be the best gift she could give ❤️. I’ve carried that on with my own gift giving. Friends whom don’t cook and we’re ill during the holiday - Greek chicken soup/ loaf of fresh/bread,/cookies, daughter-in-law (new!) who works full time and who is just learning to cook - instant pot with recipes they’ve enjoyed at our home, Son (23) - he is in the Navy and their boots are expensive so we bought him a good new pair, teenage son(16) - no clue yet, lol, Daughter (22) - enjoys movies and spending time with friends she buys all things she wants so movie/restaurant gift cards. My house is FULL enough and it brings me joy to give my children things they need or that will help them save.
What a cool idea with the lasagna pans!!
Wonderful idea. I will try this too.
I love this! Thank you for sharing!
Aaaaawwww. I love that your Mom made Lasagna for you & your sister! 💖
(in the pans she gifted to you). With a busy family,
it was probably such a
comfort to you & yours.
@@DD-xf1ydI would thing as an older age we already have lasagna "pan" I have a pretty etched out design lasagna dish with this wire design thing that you place dish in
This will be my first Christmas with my 1st grandson. My parents always went crazy with gifts and I couldn't stand it. I told my son I am just opening a college fund for my grandson and getting him something small (like books). I do not want to keep the tradition of getting a bunch of stuff no one needs. My son agrees.
I've tried for years, but the in laws just dont listen. They are obsessive over gifts. I ask for consumables (candles, bathbombs) so that way I can actually use them and they wont live in my home forever.
I think that gifting consumables is a great idea. I am scared that the gifts I give my extended family may end up cluttering their homes. I don't want to burden them with my gifts. Rather it should be a humble way of expressing my gratitude for them being a part of my life
Ugh this is my family too.... I drives me crazy.
We opted out of Christmas 3 years ago. My daughter and I were very sick for about a month leading up to that Christmas. We had often said over the years how unhappy we were with Christmas. The commercialism, reckless money spent, and hypocrisy. Spending time with family and friends, who never contacted you throughout the year, but expected you to be with them at Christmas.
Our Christmas had always been smaller and more low key than most people experience.
We decided that we wouldn't give any gifts or travel anywhere on Christmas Day. We choose to stay home, have what we want to eat, read, watch a movie, and spend time together.
And we donate the amount of money that we would've spent on Christmas, to a local charity. Win/win all round.
This has not gone down well with certain members of my family. They claim that I'm 'selfish' and that the teenage grandchildren 'are missing out, and don't understand why they don't get presents'.
I believe in staying true to me, and my beliefs.
Happy Christmas everyone, however you choose to celebrate, or not!
My extended family is very angry at us. We don’t care so, Wyatt our 9 year old said let’s stop spending and go to a hotel instead of gifts. We we check in Christmas Eve get ready for Church then after church we will snack and swim❤️ Christmas Day we spend feeding the homeless then head back to the hotel for a swim and movie. Our Santa is St. Nicholas who comes in from the Ukraine with some fruit, 2 treats and this year a Mac Donald’s gift card left in our socks❤️. I already have the money put away so Christmas is free. Thank you Jesus ♥️
Yup, hot topic! I opted out of that gift exchange stuff years ago. My family is big and the tradition is- meet at our Dad's house (this includes his 5 children plus grand-kids and great-grand-kids....most are out of town, but within a days drive. It goes just like this every year, folks swoop in, warm up the foods they've brought to share for the big meal, (the kitchen is a nightmare of too many people, I can't help because I get overwhelmed with so many), then it's scarf down the food, descend upon the gifts (except my family, we slip outside or to another room 😁), then folks start packing up to head home...typically about a quarter of the mess made is left for me, my 2 daughters and my sister who lives 30 mins away...ugh!! I actually have come to dread these gatherings. For many years I've suggested "instead of doing gifts, let's set and talk and reminisce"...yeah, hasn't happened yet. I'd rather someone sit for a good heart to heart for 30 minutes than spend $30...heck, even $3000 on a gift for me...I already have everything I need! Boy, you really got me going with this video, didn't you?! 😄
This video came at a great time. I literally just messaged my 2 Sister-in- laws last night and said that my husband and I are opting out of the gift exchange and that they can just do it among themselves. My younger Sister-in-law messaged and said "I agree. We aren't doing it either". Lol.....so that was that. No exchange.
Wahoo!!! Way to go!! ♥️
We just stopped gift exchange on my husband's side a couple years ago. It's so much more relaxed without it.
@@TheMinimalMom Thanks! The other Sister in law is calling us Grinch and isn't at all happy about it, but that is on her. Why would anyone want to force someone into giving a gift. I mean, then it really isn't a gift. It then becomes an obligation.
I did that with my siblings this year too! I think everyone was relieved there was no obligation to participate! :) I got the idea from one of Dawn's videos many months ago. Thank you Dawn!!
Last year I cut down on expensive gifts. Four kids all competing for 'favourite' spot. Each one got photo of mum and them selfies and titled 'you are my favourite' I counted to four and they opened them..no one knew what the other had got..so few seconds silence and then a good laugh when they realised the joke. One year I gave them each a blank note book and told them to fill it up for my present the following year. I made jars with encouraging and wise scriptures, to be opened weekly. Younger kids got jars with notes telling them I love them or giving them commitment of time, like play board game, or cycle together, or they get their favourite treat, or trip to movie..things like that. Then each got a hand decorated jar of coins..a fund for the little things they like to do. Like chocolate fund, arcade fund, parking fund, sandwich fund. They loved those gifts. Cheap by fun and thoughtful, more about making memories at Christmas. Oh yeah. Each got a canvas and had to collage, we did that together on 26. Age ranges to 10 to 25...Christmas is about family time not gifts. Thank you for video
Skipping Christmas - the Christmas Fast was a couple of the names for the year that changed our lives at the Holidays. It’s a longer post but worth the read if you don’t mind me sharing. It has it all, unexpected real sleigh bells ringing at our door, crying grown relatives, and what seemed like a declaration that we were moving to the South Pole not just taking a break from one year of the rat race of the holidays.
When my children were little enough to understand Christmas and gifts (now 16-21) but not old enough to help, I became very overwhelmed and was sick each Christmas season with some major illness and also found myself yelling at them a lot due to stress.
The next Christmas I declared a Christmas fast-one year where our family (because I was the driving force) would step out of all Christmas activities and obligations. As a replacement I found a small cabin rental in NE Iowa just 15 min from where we lived and my hubby (who still had to work on and off) and me and the kids could spend Christmas. I knew I needed to change up the routine a little for this big change but not overdone it. We cooked a meal together, went to Christmas Eve service because for me Jesus was the whole reason and gave 1 gift each to our children.The kids made us drawings and crafts on their own. It was amazing but it was a journey.
The only holiday type thing we did was that the kids and I made little ornaments for a 2 ft table top tree to take with us to the cabin and we got the kids each one gift. We were new to our faith in Christ and decided to do the shoes on the doorstep of the cabin for Santa. I had gotten nuts/fruit/a little candy and a couple pocket sized gifts for this. We ended up calling it our Little House in the Prairie Christmas and it was amazing. I knew I made the right decision when I heard sleigh bells outside the cabin- the single man who managed cabins had harnessed up his horses to a sleigh and brought it up to offer a ride to our kids. I had never had such a happy Christmas and you guessed it- it was the first Christmas since college that I didn’t get sick and I wasn’t yelling at anyone.
When Christmas was all over, we only missed three things about Christmas out of it all. our family really missed decorating a full sized tree, I loved the evergreen and lights around my front door and I personally LOVED sending Christmas cards. So the next year we chose to go to each Grandparents for a Christmas time celebration and I did those three things. Again I didn’t get sick!!
It wasn’t easy- we had parents crying, claiming we were ruining our kids, even being cruel, how many years were we going to do this (even though we said it was only one) let’s just say there were a lot of adults having tantrums and our kids were well behaved.😂 Our family had a peace that Christmas that surpasses all understanding. I encourage you to dig in and find what you need to say no to and consider a one year fast of those things or all of it.
And just to clarify- this is what we skipped: Christmas Eve dinner, church and gift opening with my family up the street opening gifts still at least midnight. 4-5 gifts per person. It was a lot. Christmas morning with my husbands parents in the same town, two other Christmas gatherings with family close to our small town, Erics work party, Christmas Cards, gifts for anyone else, a big tree, decorations in or on the house, holiday store shopping & open houses, wreath and evergreen fundraisers, friend gift exchange, moms party, womens church group party, cookie exchange party, no buying calendars or giving to charities or other fundraisers- we just gave extra to our church instead and no Black Friday shopping. Ever since I have kept Christmas much simpler doing only what our family truly loves and saying no to a lot of things. I haven’t gotten sick like I did with sinus infections and bronchitis ever since that first Christmas Fast. It was a prayerful year of focusing on Christ and I am so glad we stood our ground. But even if you cave to pressure try again, its ok, it’s hard but it’s worth it.
We have Sundays Dinners at our house and my husband and I brought up Christmas and gifts. When I suggested that we opt out of adult gifts completely there was a cheer that erupted! I feel so much freedom like a a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. It definitely has lessened the stress in our home knowing we don’t have to budget and pinch pennies to make Christmas happen. It will just be great food and conversation and our hearts are so full thinking of it!
My entire family loves jar candles and consider it a thoughtful gift! We all have such different perspectives!
Between my husbands sibling and my sibling we are doing a time exchange. Where we go to their houses and we work together to get something done in a day that would otherwise have taken ages to complete. I’m so excited for this Christmas because of this!
..Then they come to ours. We all get to spend more time together and make a project far more fun!
It's 2023 and this video is more relevant than ever. Inflation has driven me to rethink Christmas gift giving and downsize Xmas. I dread the Holidays, it's so stressful with all the spending. I'm ok with Lil kids getting gifts but our kids are grown young adults now and there are no Lil children in our Xmas get together anymore. Something's gotta give this year and it's not the pocket book.
I’ve settled on gift cards and food. Or gift cards for food. I also asked that my mom and dad take just me to a dinner some time. Quality time with them would mean so much more than a sweater or some stupid thing I don’t want or need. But having groceries, date night, house Reno thing- PAID fo even in part... that actually makes me super happy.
We have absolutely opted out of gift exchanges. Some years to save money. When our kids were little, we had to have the difficult conversations about giving our children so many gifts. We tried to express that experiences with children built memories for both kids and adults more than just toys.
A few years ago, when I was feeling overwhelmed by gift buying, I approached my siblings and siblings in law and asked if they would be interested in opting out of gift giving for each other. Every one of they agreed, and there was an outpouring of expressions of gratitude and relief. I was nervous about starting the conversation but now I'm glad I did, and I enjoy holidays a lot more than I used to.
So today I texted and called family members to say from now on I am just going to buy for Birthdays only and not Xmas as our family has got so big now. They were all totally fine about it and I feel so much happier and with less pressure. ❤
We do a $25ish Yankee Swap now and for the last 5 years with the adults. It was suggested by our daughter-in-law. We are so happy that we do this now. It really does let us focus on the reason for the season. We do gift our grands a $100 gift card for books and/or their college funds. Some of the other grandparents and friends still give toys. Without fail every year, both our sons and their wives whisper in our ear a thank you for listening to their wishes for no additional stuff. They are minimalists and want to raise their kids to be creative and to not expect everything to be given to them without work. We are so glad that we do this now as we really struggled to buy for our adult kids and friends. And, for us in the downsizing mode, it is such a blessing.
I just laughed out loud when I heard you talk about the jar candle. Having a candle lit feels like a luxury to me. I also love them because once they're done, I recycle the jar and no clutter remains. My four young adult children are on limited budgets, so it's something easy for them to get me. I enjoy getting them as gifts! Merry Christmas Dawn!!
Our biggest argument was to not buy our kids toys for Christmas. It took several years and my family got on board with it. The kids seriously would get excited about the toys for 5 minutes and then they would sit in the closet. Now, the kids receive fun games, clothes, or books.
For Christmas this year, I asked my family and friends if we could just buy for the children and then donate to a charity of our choice instead of buying for the adults. I was anxious suggesting this, but it went down really well. I’ve decided to donate to the local food bank so other people can enjoy some treats. People who need things more. We all don’t actually need anything. That way if money is tight for anyone they don’t have the stress of having to purchase presents and can make a donation of any size they can. It’s such a relief being truthful.😊
Three kids here. We don't have any family in the state and so we rarely have anyone visiting on Christmas. Family sends gifts to the kids, which is really nice of them. Certain gifts are always appreciated like food gifts or books. Even craft kits that we make then are used up and gone/able to throw out after. Otherwise kids play with everything then just leave it all over and don't care about it anymore and I end up donating a few months later. Expectations around Christmas time are very high. We think it's going to be joyful and restful and a bunch of togetherness but really it can just be stressful, a time where there's so much going on, so many things to accomplish (family photo, cards, thank yous) and it just becomes a time to dread. A couple years ago I was hurt when we got our kids a bunch of expensive gifts and they didn't seem all that excited. They got overwhelmed and threw fits and there was a huge mess and it was just not a good experience. Last year we got them a Lego set and they spent days at the dining room table playing nicely while my husband and I lounged in our clean house, reading and talking together. Stocking stuffers were all edible so were gone fairly quickly with minimal cleanup. It was one of the best Christmases with my kids by far. And THEY still talk about it too. We drove around and looked at lights later and it was nothing super grand but just the happiness is what I loved about it the most. We plan on doing the same plan this year! Luckily we don't have any obligatory gift exchanges or anything like that in my family. That does sound like a recipe for stress!
Both my and my husband's family stopped the gift exchanges way back when we were young, newly married, and all poor! But I moved to a state where my aunt, uncle and cousins lived. They graciously accepted us as part of their family and treated our kids just like their own! Over the years, they decided to go from everyone exchanging gifts, to just doing a Yankee Swap. It was fun for us for a few years, but then I became more minimal, so my husband and I (our kids grew up) decided to opt out! It is still fun to go to their family party, and I really enjoy seeing what each brought/received. But I don't have the stress of trying to figure out the perfect gift to buy, or the stress of bringing home something I don't really want. I still get to visit, eat the Christmas goodies, and enjoy time with the family! It might have been easier for me to opt out, since I wasn't born into that part of the family, but no one seems to mind that I'm not part of the swap!
Last year my parents and siblings stayed overnight at a hotel with a pool for our Christmas gathering the weekend before Christmas. My parents paid for our hotel for our gift. We brought finger foods for lunch and ate at a restaurant for supper. We did kids gift exchange ($15) and adult exchange($25) so everyone got one gift to open. Low stress since no one had to clean their house and prep food. The kids loved swimming with their cousins. It went so well we are doing it again this year.
We've given to Samaritan's Purse, giving necessities to people in third world countries and written it in cards to family for Christmas. This year, we're putting Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes together in honor of family & close friends 💞
We did this last our with our parents and adult siblings. We told them since we were paying to fly home to see everyone for Christmas it wasn’t in our budget to exchange gifts. They all agreed and it took so much stress out of the holidays!
Years ago all the adults changed to a gift exchange in both families. After a few years we let go of it. We also make the holiday meal in healthier versions-big hit and stopped making so much that they had to take food home. Turned out not everyone wanted the take home, have the discussion and let people choose what brings them joy.
We decided years ago to do different charity gifts each year to honor family. Some fun things we have enjoyed: helping a women's shelter, providing children's clothing or infants, buying books for low income students in a local elementary school thru Scholastic program, items for the food pantry, angel tree, anonymously surprising single Moms we know that are struggling financially to have a fun family experience over the winter break that might include movie tickets or outing and dinner gift cards, blankets for the homeless, hats & mittens for local schools, coats for kids, Christian camp scholarships, gift to a missionary or sponsoring a student in another country. We are always finding new opportunities to show the love of Christ. I make a card and put it in their stocking...they so appreciate it and look forward to seeing what was done. Hope the ideas inspire others! Love to hear others ideas too!
My daughter is embracing minimalism. I think of it as a gift to her to NOT buy her stuff she doesn’t want or need. If I respect and love her then I should honor her wish not to put things in her house that she doesn’t want or need. At holidays she sends me a list of what she does need or want. I have been getting rid of things myself but more in the style of Swedish Death Cleaning rather than minimalism. I went down a rabbit hole tonight watching your videos and it lead me to get up and gather up a whole pile of water color supplies to pass on because I prefer acrylic and oil paints. That lead me to the bookcase where in 2 minutes I pulled 20 books of the shelf to take to Good Will tomorrow. I really enjoy your videos. Thank you for your inspiration.
Our family stopped gifts a few years ago. At various times people were going through financial problems. I think everyone was relieved. I usually give my mom flowers because she loves them and she is 97 years old. She has everything she wants and needs. Flowers make her light up.
As a gift person, even the most practical gift can be greatly appreciated. Grocery cards, gas cards, etc. are super great gifts depending on where you are in life.
We have adopted family's that lost their homes to fires here in Ca. We spent our time and dollars resupplying Them as we KNEW they Needed the things we got them! It was THEE greatest feeling to wake up on Christmas morning and know that a hellish year for a family was made bright again. If everyone did this, Everyone in all our towns would have wonderful Christmas's!
My sister and I just told each other what we would buy for the other, but didn’t actually send the gifts. Then we could each decide if we wanted to purchase for ourselves the thing the other person though of. We both came up with thoughtful ideas, and neither of us wanted the thing the other person had chosen. We both liked that way
My siblings and I are all adults now. We wanted to do something, but not go broke either. This year we have decided to do a gift card exchange, but not just any gift cards - they will be for a restaurant or movie theater. This will make for a great date night for each couple. We don't need material gifts, we're all adults and can buy things when we want. This seemed like the best option, and will be a nice treat for after the holidays.
I gave my brother who is a minimalist and his wife who is not, tickets to the Christmas lights at the Zoo. They both loved it.
Our family stopped doing a gift exchange and now do a white elephant dice game where anyone who wants to participate brings an item to put in. These can be regifts, homemade items, inexpensive items of any kind. It's fun to see what people come up with and which items get "stolen" most during the game. After a couple years of seeing adults have fun with this the kids now want to do the same instead of the traditional gift exchange that we had kept in place for them.
Getting older and downsizing, my family now exchanges consumable gifts. Going to eat together, spending time with one another becomes a gift. Now for the holidays I send my mom, a new nightgown and a book of stamps. We used to get books and gift cards, now we use the library and just exchange our favorite titles and some homemade 🍪 cookies. I ask friends for book reviews and great eating suggestions from a new restaurant to a favorite recipe. Less is truly the BEST GIFT.
A great gift (for Dawn) would be to come help clean the garden in the spring!!!!!
I would love to receive homemade cookies as a gift!
Loving the outfit and background decor ☺️
Thank you so much!!!!♥️
I do like the white elephant ones where you bring something from home and wrap it up. People can "steal" it twice. If you don't like it you can just let it go. You can bring humourous ones. I actually have got some great jems and laughs and even passed along things to someone else that wanted it more.
Our family is adopting a family instead of doing an exchange. Each part of the family will buy for a person in the family. Then we are thinking of having a wrapping party to show off the gifts (possibly even virtuslly. Because well 2020) instead of unwrapping gifts together.
We just had a conversation last week about this. My siblings and I decided to just have our time together be our gifts. We also had a conversation with my parents about being practical. They’re going to pay a bill or provide a trip for us instead of receiving a physical gift. It’s going to relieve so much stress that often times come with this time of the year.
Wow!! This is so awesome!!!👍♥️
What a great idea to have them cover something that may actually make you stressed out at some other time of the year!
Yes! This would be such a great gift for us, too!
My mom, sisters and I stopped buying gifts for each other a few years ago. Instead we decided to “adopt” a family from a local charity and we go out and shop for them. The together time is great. And the feeling of doing something nice for someone else is amazing.
Scaled back big time and the people I was most worried about seemed to be a bit relieved. It's all about communication!
Over time we have bowed out of several gift exchanges, but not all. We’re doing a 3800 mile loop to see our families this season and trying to go with the flow of expectations because when you know it may be someone’s last Christmas (sadly) my minimalist preferences aren’t my top priority. We’re giving an even lighter amount of gifts to our kids to make this trip possible and will focus on consumable or asked-for gifts for our parents. It helps so much that my mom asks the kids for an Amazon wishlist and that my MIL sends money for us to buy gifts from them for the kids. Since we don’t buy much throughout the year the amount at Christmas is manageable.
Even though I’m a minimalist I do love to give and receive well-chosen gifts. When I receive a great gift I feel seen and known by my loved ones. My poor husband’s love language is not gifts and it seems I’ve become more particular since becoming a minimalist while remaining frugal, if I’m only going to own one of an item I want it to be just right and hope he doesn’t spend too much, a nearly impossible standard. I’m working on receiving with joy and gratitude even if the gift misses the mark.
I am trying to minimalise my life. I have been asking for the last 5 years for my family not to buy me and my husband any gifts, we are happy to buy for their children, we don't have any children. My brother thinks the more you spend the more you love someone and he says I am being miserable even though he has 3 children for whom I buy a gift of £50 each and I want nothing in return. The whole meaning of Christmas is lost in the materialism of the season rather than the religious festival that it is.
This year I sent a family text to ask everyone if we just focused on the kids for gifts this year (there are only 4). I explained we were trying to pay off debt and it would really help. Everyone was supportive of the idea. I was really shocked. Definitely thought there would be some push back. Pays to be open and honest ❤
Last year I told my mother in law kindly that I thought it was kind of silly that we exchange gift cards. I suggested we just keep the money to spend on something else we might like. She cried and didn’t understand at first but later it made total sense to her. She felt like she wasn’t doing anything for us but once we understood my heart she got it.
Instead of gifts to each other, our married children and us donate money (whatever amount they can afford) anonymously to a family in need. We rotate who chooses the recipient. None of us knows how much each other donates. Even the grandkids are putting in money! So much better to gove than receive!
We do still participate, but for adults it’s one simple gift of a name we drew at thanksgiving or we forego the normal gift exchange and do the hilarious “White Elephant” gift exchange instead. It’s a hoot! We focus more on the kids. For our own kids we do one gift that’s theirs and one bigger one they all share. For extended family kids it’s usually something practical like jammies or a hoodie.
All that said, there is a way to still participate in the fun and not have it get out of hand. Small simple gifts is where it’s at!
It helps that one of my daughters in law follows you too!
For the grandchildren we do a few small gifts and then the main gift is an outing to somewhere as a whole family. That worked really well last year.
I’m also going to try to make sure that all gifts are consumables rather than “stuff” so at least after a few months they will all be used up and not another item added to the stuff collection. I make soaps and jams and homemade laundry detergent so those are all consumables and I can buy chocolates and high quality hot chocolate powder and marshmallows.
Another thing I did one year was to buy second hand novels which once you have read them go back to a charity shop (thrift store).
We have about 25 people to buy for in our family. It's also really hard to travel to multiple houses with little ones, so this year we are simplifing Christmas. We have invited both sides of our family (mine and my husband's) to meet at a central location were we are hosting and having a meal catered for everyone. This will keep us from having to travel so much, and it will simplify gifts. The meal and location is our gift to all 25 people. This way we only have to "buy" gifts for each other and our girls.
We are opting out of the exchanges this year by visiting the US and our oldest son who recently moved to Missouri. We live in Australia so just being together will be the best present 💝
Yeah - I am from St. Louis, MO. I hope you have a blessed time with your son and that the weather cooperates for you - this week we have had snow and ice, and of course, COLD!
Kathy R Thanks! We will actually be passing through St Louis on New Years Day.
I believe that fewer gifts make us appreciate the few that we do have. Last Christmas was so overwhelming at my inlaws, there were gifts everywhere and we couldn't take time to appreciate each one. The things I love about Christmas aren't really things (except stockings, lol those are fun)-- time with family we don't get to see often, the festive church services, decorating and making cookies, enjoying the traditional foods.
Some traditions are hard to break away from. We (usually) all have very full lives and houses so a carload of gifts is very hard to fit in to that.
We've tried. I've tried. It's so hard to convince people not to buy toys for our kids. What irks me is that I'm the one who ends up managing the toys/clutter in our house. So, an 86 piece train set becomes a headache for me - even if I have my kids clean it up, I still have to ask them to and they are overwhelmed by the thought of it, don't complete the task, or whine about it. If I take things away, then I'm the bad guy. All because someone else thought it was a good idea to give them tons of stuff. It's super frustrating. My best move was coming home after a family Christmas with my kids and before they even played with everything, putting some things in the basement to see if they even remembered everything they got. They didn't. Then I donated those gifts, some still in packaging. Now they are a bit older, I can ask them if there is something that is their favorite and if maybe we can think about donating the other items to kids who don't have toys because we have so many. This actually works surprisingly well.
We try to put practical items on our lists. I've stopped replacing or buying the stuff that can wait for a bit and put that on my Christmas list. So this year we have stuff like new pillows for our bed and a pyrex measuring pitcher on our list. I do an exchange if possible if there is stuff I know we will not use and I encourage the people I give gifts to exchange if they don't like their presents. The thing that has maybe made the largest impact is that we no longer give our kids homemade advent calendars. Here in Norway a lot of people make advent calendars with a small gift each day for 24 days. But that either means using a lot of money or buying a lot of cheap items that easily break. And since I'm not very rich, that meant our house was cluttered with these small plastic toys all December. The kids were a bit bummed about it but did like the shop-bought chocolate advent calendars I bought instead. And we are able to use the time, energy and money I used making these for cozy family Christmas activities instead.
We try to arrange a day trip with my husband's sister and her kids in place of giving material gifts... it's sooo much more precious, particularly this year! x
With 25 brothers and sisters and in-laws I did the gift exchange for a couple of years before I opted out. Now we make a donation to a charity in the families name. Many years of buying animals from Heifer International, the food bank, this year we bought a leaf on the public library giving tree.
I made it a rule last yr that only 18 and under in my family were getting a gift from me. Trying to figure out what to get the adults in my life that lacked of nothing was becoming very overwhelming and I was starting to dread my favorite time of the year. I love getting the little one's toys and even teenagers make up and clothes or what ever they ask for. For the adults in my life I just want their company, good food and enjoy watching the kids open their gifts. Only one adult was hesitant but I think she is becoming more ok with it after all there's is birthdays, mother's day and father's day.
Perfect timing on this topic. I've been dreading how to tell my in-laws that we dont want to do gifts this year. I have tried in the past with them and they dont agree at all . They just do what they want to do which makes us look like total jerks. I'm going to try to explain again this year. Thanks for the encouragement!
You can do it!!! ♥️
My mother in law isn't a happy person and she always gives me these gifts that literally are insulting. Not even that they are lame....they are just mean. Like a dress that was leopard print and literally 4 sizes too big--ok seriously. Anyways....we are totally in the midst of redoing our whole house and we were talking about what to do for everyone...its time we just opt out of doing gifts with them. She doesn't like what I give her either in spite of the fact I actually choose very thought out gifts. Still have to think through what we will do but yeah....glad I'm not the only one--not that I would wish the discouragement on anyone!
KESIA DIAS, we finally got everyone to agree to no adult gifts and when the college kids graduate, no gift anymore. Others still bought them gifts, but we didn’t and we decided to not care about what anyone thought of us. This year, both of them are graduated. No gifts from us and we will see if everyone follows along like they said they would, or not. We love not having to spend so much money! Especially on kids with very well-to-do parents.
Same exact boat here too. Not only that they want to do a minimum of $35 per gift.
InSpiteOfBecauseOf, that’s pricey if there are multiple people to buy for!
Not for Christmas but every birthday, my best friend always always buys me a large chocolate bar, a can of pepsi and a bottle of my favourite shower wash and it's always one of my favourite gifts because it's a comfort and useful gift 💙
It should be an enjoyable and stress free time of year. We have so much stuff that we don't need any more and I look at our rooms that are overflowing. We need to focus on time spent with one another and keep it to a minimum. Family is more important than possessions. Love your video Dawn! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Yes! Amen!!
@@TheMinimalMom I second your Amen! ♥️
This is the one area of minimalism I need help in. EVERY year we have the conversation with family about less gifts even suggesting lists and ideas for each child and we have a mid size SUV and I kid you not we have to make TWO car tips home with things piled on top of our kids to get all their gifts home. It literally fills our dining room to the point where we can’t use it. It’s frustrating but the only way we have been able to deal is to take all the toys to the basement as quickly as possible (so the kids don’t tear into things) and if they ask for something we will pull it out for them and in spring if whatever they haven’t asked for (90%) of it goes to donations or sell if it’s something valuable
lol i love getting candles for christmas!
My son's in-laws would draw a name out of a basket and just get something for them. Now they do the 'Dirty Santa' swap, which is where you buy a random generic gift (with a price limit). You still have a number; when your number comes up you choose one of the unwrapped gifts. If you don't like what you just unwrapped you can 'steal' one of the other person's gifts. I have never felt any comfort or enjoyment with this and sometimes opt out. My son and his family and I have a separate Christmas morning where we exchange gifts. Everyone gets one, including the kids. I more enjoy just the gathering, sharing stories, making cookies for each family the week or so before, and making something to eat to share. Then Christmas service in church. That, for me, is the core of Christmas.
Years ago my siblings and I stopped doing gifts. I'm the oldest so I asked and everyone agreed that we didn't really need more stuff. Now, my kids pick names with their cousins so that they each get one gift. My kids (who are the oldest) are really enjoying the shopping process for buying for their younger cousins.
I’m the party pooper who always opts out of secret Santa .
The whole family goes out to eat, and if some of the family has to take a hotel, motel to visit this gathering, we that want to swim, go to their motel as their guest. We have a great time.
My mother and I are very practical, my christmas and birthday presents (June birthday) are car services 😊
That's a great idea!!! ♥️
My husband and I have been married only 2 years and together for 4. We've been married before so we have a "blended family." He has two daughters, 27 and 25 and I have a 24 year old son. I am so happy just to have them over for Christmas Eve for good food and just being together. My son couldn't care less about gifts but when I've brought up in the past about maybe doing a Secret Santa, so we only have to buy one gift for a family member, or just bypassing on the gifts, the girls get very upset about not getting gifts. Yet, when you get them gifts ("Oh I don't care what you get me, I like anything.") they never get used or they are simply forgotten. I wouldn't mind buying the gifts if they would tell me what they could actually USE or WANT but they don't. I just wish Christmas could go back to what it actually stands for instead of all of this greed and commercialism. Thank you for the great post .
I love getting a new jar candle!!! I try and buy a new one for each season and I love getting one for a gift.
I love gift giving but don’t buy like I used to and we never go in debt. Christmas to me is about love ❤️, peace ☮️ and minimum stress along with Christ.
This topic can include big and tiring family meals that wear out those of us who do the cooking. We changed thanksgiving meal to only desserts with coffee/tea/lemonade for my mom's side of the family. It has been wonderful! Our family stopped gift exchanges on one side of the family for everyone except children under the age of 18. It took several years of my sister and I telling my mom we wanted to stop. It brought some joy and also stress mixed in for my mom to shop, so she finally let it end. But she wanted to continue even the adult stockings. We did that a few more years, then my sister and I began the same conversation again about that. Now we only do them for children too. My husband's side of the family still does it and I wish it would end but the now adult children want to get presents for us, so we feel obligated to give them gifts in return. Hoping that will end eventually, but then grandchildren enter the picture, we will buy some for them I am thinking.
We love you too, Dawn! Thank you for giving so freely of yourself for us! 💕
I brought up the no gifts this xmas with my friend of 30 years. We live an hr from each other and usually Xmas is just dropping the gift off and go. I asked her if instead if we could take time and go out to lunch and hang out. She was so excited. Thx you Dawn for the idea.
So glad to hear this!!!!! ♥️👍💕
Love this! I was feeling pretty average about telling my family that my husband and I won’t be buying gifts other than a couple things for our toddler and for our young niece. They were all very respectful and we’re going to be baking treats for each other instead which will hopefully become a family tradition, rather than the anxiety that usually builds up from trying to make sure you’re buying the right things for people who already have everything they need and spending money that could be saved!
It’s the first Christmas in years that I’ve been in the spirit for, and it has so much to do with removing the shopping element and focusing on planning family time together!
This is so awesome!!!! ♥️👍
I love the idea of suggesting a FUN activity together in lieu of gifts. like " hey, instead of buying and wrapping gifts for everybody this year, why don't we get the kids together for an awesome gingerbread house building day!?" Or, "Let's skip the gifts this year and head out for a christmas movie and get drinks after". Basically, shopping, buying, wrapping also take TIME. Why not spend that time together instead?
Hi again, yes same. I've always been "the gift giver" in my family but It was actually a family member that approached ME with the famous line "um this year we WON'T be able to give gifts cause $ is tight" so i agreed and as the yrs went by we never went back to exchanging gifts. It actually worked out for me too cause it was very hard on me $ wise. I too put lots of thought into a gift and I was usually disappointed with my gift.
So glad to hear this from a gift person! This is encouraging ♥️👍
There is so man of us in my family, all adults. We stared 5 years ago to do a thing like a secret santa our budget is £50. We put our names in a hat with 3 things that we would really like. Our items can be up to the limit either in just 1 item or in all 3 items, if we want something that is £80, we have to add the extra £30 to the budget. This way we are all not broke come January, get what we would like and really appreciate what we have been given. By the way Dawn I love your videos. :)
This is a yearly struggle for us, my husband and I joke that it’s our yearly tradition to stress about gift giving and getting. I did the math for my family and told them if each of them buys 3 gifts for each of our kids (like they had been) that’s 48 new things in our house that I have to find a place for, and that’s not even counting what we get the kids! It’s so frustrating! And I’ve found they need a reminder of this every year or they go right back to what they used to do!
Such an important topic! Consumerism is killing our planet and still we are holding on traditions that don't even make us happy. Shared this at "Clutter-free Christmas 2019" Facebook event.
This is our first year trying something new! 2 of the 3 daughters follow you so we thought we would propose the idea and it has gone so well! Instead of gifts, we are all going to an indoor water park! The kids will be so surprised and it will be a weekend full of fun, memories, and new experiences. If it doesn't work and everyone likes toy exchanges better then we can always go back but for this year, we are excited to slow down on the toys and use our energy towards spending quality time with each other. Thank you for all your ideas!
My immediate family doesn't do a lot of gifts. My mom won't get stuff for us that she knows us well and will usually just get grandkids one or two toys or items they need. She always runs stuff by me so I appreciate that. My favorite gifts received as a family is a membership to a museum or a zoo. Occasionally I might do a group gift for my nieces and nephews or something small like a coloring book. I like to make Christmas cookies and give a d ornament with it. ornaments are another one of my favourite gifts to give and receive because they are small and beautiful. They can be thoughtful or funny. and I have ornaments on my tree from my childhood and they're all very special to me. I remember people that give them to me. So it's a nice sentimental gift. My mom always gives out ornaments and I give them to my kids. they all have their own box and get a couple each Christmas they will have them to put on their tree when they move out.
If I don’t have something really thoughtful to gift I just take the person out for dinner and is just one on one time to spend with the person and I find that more valuable
In our family, the nieces and nephews draw names. The adults choose a different place each year to make a monetary donation to - it's a great feeling to make a donatation in the name of our family!
We do a Kriss Kringle,
Very simple, very effective, very economic. The money allowed to spend is agreed and we all stick to it. This way everyone gets a gift, of the same value.
The gifts have been leaning on towards experiences, so clutter free as well.
Win, win.
At work we “adopted “ a local family through the school district. We bought gifts for mom, also gift cards so she could shop for her own children. It was a wonderful replacement for a gift exchange and another pair of gloves!