Sure, but if your path is not enjoyable, if what you find is an endless loop where nothing works, no results are achieved no matter what you do, then it’s understandable that we look at others and say why them and not me,
Both are harmful and unfortunately they are amplified by social media use. Apparently comparison is the #1 reason fro unhappiness however you can also use comparison as a hack for extra motivation to accomplish goals. Well done Sir! I always look forward to your videos. *I wish you Stoic Peace & Many Blessings*
Robert Greene often talks about using envy as a source of motivation. You need to turn envy outwards and propel yourself forward and not inwards in such that it poisons your soul. Envious people are pathetic btw, sometimes I make them envious on purpose just to see them squirm. That's when you know you've won. If people are not envious of you or hate you, then my friend - you're not doing too well ;-) Step your game up!
Philosophy adds a DEEP layer of meaning to my life. I have been away from this type of deep thinking for a while and your channel is rekindling my sense of curiosity. thank you
*Jealousy* - thinking of having a privilege to someones attention, "owning" a person. *Envy* stems from similar feelings but refers to others things, positions, situations. Although being a manifestation of the ego, a type of benign envy can fuel a persons will to achieve same things.
I have benign enemy like crazy. I see someone who has what I want and I get inspired and attracted to them and then mimic them until I have achieved similar to them, I am not repelled in the least as I celebrate those who I perceive have something I want.
I have realized that jealousy is the fear of losing what you have(a partner, a title, a job,etc) and envy is the fear of not having something that the other person has, something that you want.
Really love all your videos, but this one is truly deep. Your final thought about focusing on own paths & being grateful for what we have therefore giving us no reason to be envious, is profoundly brilliant & honest. Really inspiring wisdom. Have a great stoic day & wishing you continued success with this wonderful channel!
I disagree- I find it a trite and not very useful bit of advice, that doesn't really do much to understand the depth of envy and it's function in our psychology.
I've watched many of your videos but I hardly make any comment. However this one touched me somehow. My little brother is mentally disabled and I am not. He was also the only boy in my family. He used to get everything. EVERYTHING he wanted, even when he didn't ask for it. I somehow grew up in his shadow. I felt that I was being used because I was the one translating his language to other people (and also translating for my parents because they couldn't speak French since they had immigrated to France in the 70's). In return I had nothing. I also felt that my mother despised me for being good at school and bringing good marks while she had never been to school and couldn't read. I also felt that she deeply desired that my brother and I switched brains. I felt some sort of guilt, for being 'the clever one'' with a deep sense of responsibility towards my family. As though I had to use this brain of mine, since it was the reason why I had nothing in the first place. I found it hard to come to terms with the universe being unfair. It is but it not. We think that we lack something or we deserve something but the universe doesn't owe us anything (I heard someone say that and it stuck.) As long as we understand that, envy slowly shifts away and we accept what we have and what we are. On the other hand, we might indeed lack something but we are not bound to chains all day long: there are always other things that we have and that others lack.
I don't know if you are going to read my comment. but man since I discovered your channel three days ago and I am hocked to it. for many reasons 1- good introduction 2- examples from different religions including Islam which is ignored in mostly everything related to humanity in many educating videos on RUclips. 3- you give a personal point of view and to things. I would recommend a channel called " the school of life ". I love their subjects as well. And I believe you would love it. Ah, one more thing, talking about envy. I wish to meet a person with whom I can discuss such subjects. Most guys my age are into Tictok or whatever they call it :) I have envy toward you if you are someone knowing all of this so you are a well-rounded human. Thank you and I am following and liking all of your videos because I honestly really enjoy them.
Thank You for this lesson. I'm relieved to know I'm reacting the positive way. Envy alone is not good or bad, it simply just is as any other feeling. However, it's how we react that defines us. Cheers
We should not conform to injustice. Sometimes people are accused of envy when they point out unfair situations. So we must be really careful to say that something is envy, sometimes it's just the desire for justice and fairness.
I believe it depens on your current reality. But generally speaking, envy is a natural human feeling. We learn through model, imitation, example, and envy can be part of the learning process. With healthy envy you can better yourself. As the video says, watch out what you're envy for.
This channel is quickly becoming one of my favourites to watch. I respect the effort of each video your knowledge and outlook on such topics. Keep it up please!
Great content, keep the good work, you noticed Islam in this video, it was a true sign of your knowlege, not many people in the west know about this religio and it's teachings much needed for nowadays, The Prophet Muhammad was a thinker and philosopher and a leader in every aspect of life, the most Influential Persons in History deserves more attention from you. Thanks
Just what I needed right now. I was envious about a classmate who has something I desired for long. I felt I needed to get away from it, and searched on your channel if you have any old viddeo about this, thank you for this
You said it just as I was thinking it. If someone has something you want it should be motivation. Not motive for you to be immoral towards them or hurt or harm them to get it.
Naturally I become envious of some of my friends who have (or have had) romantic relationships while I myself have never been in one before. But over time I realize that having a romantic partner is physically, emotionally, and financially draining the longer it goes especially since I have experienced that somewhat vicariously through those friend’s experiences that I know. Therefore, the longer I ponder my envy whenever it arises, the easier it becomes for me to logically let go of that envy because being alone in a way is much more liberating. 😁
I suffer with envy because my career path currently does not afford me the lifestyle I dream of. And my dreams are ridiculous far out of reach it seems. I don’t know what to do.
3:42 Yes it does mention why. Cain was a good person ONLY when he offered sacrifice. "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" (Gen. 4:7). He was like those people that go back to their old selves right after they finish fasting.
Envy is a programming as is all that we choose negatively to counter the positive energy we are born with. The choice is made harder the more we follow the programming and not the provided .
Thank you for this Sunday go to meeting at the Church of Stoicism. I have to study my dictionary. I was using jealousy and envy synonymously. Now, I must cultivate a new understanding and usage. This is difficult when I have been programed without the fine nuance. Can I teach an old dog new tricks?
Thanks for this videos. One day, I'll be able to donate through Patreon, love your videos, they've made me a better person and helped me find some light to some struggles I've had.
Also, stay away from people who are envious of you, they will always seek to destroy you, especially covertly! I am at least somewhat aware of this pattern i had of keeping envious friends in my life. Now i am more careful and AWARE of this in people.
good afternoon, I dont know if you are going to read this, but I am so grateful that I have found your video.I was going through hell thanks to envy, I cannot get a jop, I I came to know that someone in my circle of my same age already have a job with an amazing salary.Of course it would be nice to have that, but I do not desire a job because I really want it, but because I used to thoght that that is what I am expected to do in society and if I dont have a job then I am worthless,but it is not my case anymore, I couldnt get any job, but I have my own business right now, it is not too much but at less I am doing what I love, thank you so much, it is an excellent video , this video unchained my life
I see envy as a trigger to other negative emotions. Shame and anger are linked to envy. Is the answer to work backwards. For example - why the shame? Dealing with deep rooted issues within yourself will deplete the power of being envious of others has over you.
I've always had to work really hard and take care of myself and my children without the help of anyone, including both ex-husbands (2). I've always envied women that are kept, taken care of. I don't know how to make that go away. It's been a hard life.
This is the is the glass half full or half empty argument, people who see the world as a glass half full tend to be content with what they have while the person who sees the world as a glass half empty only sees what they do not have and envy those the think have more
Imagine having a lifelong friend. Imagine that person being always better connected, much better looking and wealthier. Imagine that person also regularly womanising and indulging with other mens women. Imagine your wife clearly finding this person attractive and saying so. While I am slowly eliminating this person from my life, the anger and envy from this has been unconquerable for me. I’ve bettered myself my entire life but some people have life on a silver platter and then exploit it for their own ends. The admission of my wife crushed my soul, permanently. No matter how hard I work, or what I do, I’m always second best and his voodoo appeal always wins.
Your friend sounds like a narcissist, and narcissists are experts in drawing people to them to give them the supply to feed their ego. I have had 2 narcissists in my life. It seems like they always win bc they have no shame and do not respect boundaries. Look up the You Tube channel “Surviving Narcissism”, Dr. C is fantastic and can help you get a foothold against this. But I know what you mean, the people closest to you shouldn’t get pulled in by them, but they do… Do something rewarding for yourself. I hike… P.s. Also You Tuber “Dr. Ramani” is fantastic!
Look up hypergamy. Our life is by design. The men with power, looks and money design life to maintain those things and have all the advantages. Learn the game and play it better.
I find it so difficult not to be envious of friends who have had more luck than me. I have a hard time convincing myself that (for example) having more money wouldn't improve my life significantly. I truly resent my friend for his luck and success, his arrogance (he is really nice guy but also very arrogant too) drives me insane. I resent myself for my bad luck, for my choices. But then I remind myself that my resentment doesn't make sense. My friend did nothing that I would not have done, he was just in the right place at the right time. So then I resent myself. But that too is illogical as my choices where they best they could have been with the resources I had at the time. So I naturally resent life itself, I resent fate as the stoics would say for saddling me with my brain that made different choices to my friend and for not offering me the same choices he had. Now he is a director of a company and I am paid barely above minimum wage. But if you can believe it no matter how much i resent life the b*stard doesn't seem to care at all. Furthermore my resentment just drives friends away, it's not their fault they got lucky (I am unlucky enough to have two friends who became successful due to sheer luck of circumstance). And in spite of our differences we are good friends so I value our friendship. It pushes my wife away from me and it blinds me to the opportunities that may drift across my path. It makes me resentful of everything. I still feel the resentment as keenly as a slap, it cuts deep and hurts a lot. But I quell those feelings because they benefit nobody, it doesn't mean that I don't see more money, more free time, respectable jobs as better things and better than my own life. I just have to work hard to swallow that crap because if I spend my life watching somebody elses life I will never have time to improve my own.
Stop paying attention to others and basing your worth around it. Maybe, learn what other people did and do to get "lucky". There are choices and changes you can make to improve your life. It takes some education, self reflection, observation, risk, and believing in yourself. Life doesn't just hand you stuff. Sure, some people had some advantages you didn't have, but that's life. It is unfair. Start learning how you can create advantages for yourself. You can make the choice to do this or you can decide to stay miserable. If you decide to not do shit, then you should tell yourself to accept your life and stop complaining.
I came here to look for a cure of my envy I ended up having even more rage and envy than before. Total Unfairness in this world and the judgement of the universe And this is totally killing me. I admit it. I want to put an end of this but don't know how
I have a video suggestion for you. "When you hurt someone's feeling in the past(3years ago) & realized it now & can't do anything about it (because of no contact) other than blaming yourself." What's the stoics have to say about this?
I believe a stoic would advise you to apologise to the person if you can. If you can't, you should leave the past behind and look to do good in the future. I think the stoics would encourage you not to chain yourself to the past like that. We cannot change what happened in the past. No point in worrying about it.
I heard Jordan Peterson say that you should only compare yourself to yourself from yesterday. I never focus on anyone else since only I have to face to the consequences of my choices.
It's embarrassing when my jealous face pops up. I don't have the grit to say, "sorry I just got jealous" on the spot to neutralize everything, I try to hide
When I was in 8th grade I was really envious about a kid who newly joined our school and kept getting good marks than me. I unknowingly accepted him as my rival and later that year I got A grades in all subjects. I was really happy I don't know why I was envious about him but soon after starting 9th grade we actually became very good friends and till this date I'm in 12th grade I don't understand why I was so envious to him for getting good marks. As of now I lack motivation and I feel as if I'm saturated to my surroundings I don't feel any thing about marks I just feel numb towards everything. I lack motivation and as of now I'm really bad on my grades and unable to recover. 😔
Maybe your rivalry with that person was a "good competition" for you. Your desire to get what that person posses pushed you to work and get high grades which is nice. However, after getting what you wanted you felt demotivated because there is no longer a "competition."
Your lack of motivation is because you don’t have future goals that you are passionate about. Why is getting good grades important to you? What will achieve by having them? You saw that boy and the effect good grades had on him and desired that outcome for yourself. You can achieve something similar now that your desires have matured by thinking about what you want to achieve with your good grades and check out role models who have already made it there for inspiration.
I enjoy many of these videos from mr Peterson except when he brings the bible and other books of religion many people are not interested in reading fiction so maybe he should stick to the facts of life
I'm disappointed with this, because i'm not convinced that the unfairness of life doesn't impact the ability to be happy. Can you make a video on how to deal with anger as a response to unfairness of life?
When I think about the unfairness of life which I have witnessed, and which has affected me, I often think of those caught up in the Holocaust. By accident of birth, age in which they lived, millions of people were arbitrarily executed, suffering a loss of freedom and life. We live in world where people who are more violent, of middling intelligence, unencumbered with ethical reasoning often do well 'materially'. Good luck to them! I am happy with what I have, and with who I am.
Envy can be used for good reasons, such as to better yourself..like learning a new skill. I very rarely envy anyone, I would like to pilot a fighter jet or go up into Space. Last time I was very envious was watching kitesurfers, I wanted to learn so bad. Got 8 years experience now:)
Good question about why God would accept Abel's offering and not Cain's. Being all powerful and all knowing, God should have known that doing this would ignite rage in Cain, and lead to a bad outcome. It seems that a loving god would accept both sacrifices, no matter how great or poor they were, and not show such favoritism.
If you focus on bettering yourself than being envious of external things people have, you become highly secured without burdon of preserving external things. You don't attract other envious people yourself and free of all bondage. Anyway you are not going to carry material wealth after death. Live happily now than in misery for things you don't have but others have. If these come to you , you will be happy if not you are happy anyway.
I would be very interested in learning more about the stoic approach to handle envy and jealousy coming from other people. Not how we deal with our own envy, but how to deal with it coming from other people. Have the Stoics any helpful tips about how to handle better the shadow coming from other people?
God loves us all equally, he desires all of us to be happy. Us being born with different gifts and even different situations are all to do with what our destiny requires us to learn along the way. Even a child born into poverty (God forbid) can allow for that person to be able to relate to those in difficult situations in the future even when they themselves are out of it. Always remember “What Satan intended for evil, God intended for good” Genesis 50:20.
I have been envious of people born in another country that isn't my country. I have been envious of people's circumstances and thus are far ahead of me in terms of intelligence since their education system isn't failing, unlike mine. My old elementary schools shut down due to how bad it was. I checked how the school inspectors rated and they rated it 1 star and said the school had plenty of problems. It was expensive and horrible, the teachers were strict but bad. But ever since I moved to another country I was very behind in terms of classes. Although I'm not actually behind, but the people around me are ahead. Im honestly tired Im envious of the people who were born lucky. And thats what im trying to accept.
Hey first of all great videos you make (ran out of new ones seeing these older ones) I think you would find it interesting to look into the gnostic interpretation of Cain and Abel in which Cain is favoured for his refusal to serve God which from a gnostic point of view entrapped the eternal spirit in matter causing existence and by extension suffering. I really dumbed that down but I really suggest anyone reading this to look up the gnostic point of view on Cain and Abel. Peace
I am here to find out how to get rid of envious people aka "friends" in my life. I am a grateful person, and I love helping my friends, but after so many disappointments, I am more defensive, and it is hard for me to trust people's intentions.
I have this question also. Theres a void in my soul that, up to this point, the only thing that appears to fill it is validation from someone I'm attracted to (platonically or romantically). Intellectually, I know that chasing validation wont lead to happiness or meaning, but the warmth in my chest when I finally receive it seems to melt my anxieties and worries away, at least for a little while. On the other hand, grandiosity and its symptoms (perfectionism, insecurity, low self esteem) can be cured by, as the Like Stories of Old video on the subject reports, "a relationship with a real person". So, I really dont know what really I should be striving for. At the moment, I'm living off thrill-seeking by doing things I'm afraid of or cause me anxiety. A relationship - a deep, connected relationship - scares the shit out of me for some reason. Yet, it's also the thing that seems to hint a fulfilled way of being. I hope this makes sense, Donquixote. Your comment kinda just sparked this train of thought for me. Just want you to know that you're not alone in your loneliness. Cheers
If the worse outcome of envy is the destruction of our envy''s object, an even worse and stupider outcome is the destruction of self with corroding emotions stemming from the envy.
Check out Einzelgänger's book 'Stoicism for Inner Peace' here: einzelganger.co/innerpeace
InstaBlaster...
With all respect the story you got is wrong i love you man comment back if you are interested in the real version of the story tho it's about envy
The best way to treat envy is self awareness.
I think the use of social media reduce self confidence.
@Rishi hmm i don't think so, give them what they want is the solution not reducing social media use.
If we just focus on our path and feel grateful for what we have there is no room for envy or jealousy.
Like, practically don't follow anyone on Instagram.
Sure, but if your path is not enjoyable, if what you find is an endless loop where nothing works, no results are achieved no matter what you do, then it’s understandable that we look at others and say why them and not me,
Easier said than done
@@tadz3921 Exactly. And then is the question, how to handle jealousy and envy, to not end in a negative spiral. I'm still searching a way...🙏
1. Focus on our own path
2. Be gratefu of what we have
Best medicines.
Both are harmful and unfortunately they are amplified by social media use. Apparently comparison is the #1 reason fro unhappiness however you can also use comparison as a hack for extra motivation to accomplish goals. Well done Sir! I always look forward to your videos. *I wish you Stoic Peace & Many Blessings*
@You've gone incognito You're right, however I still do prefer amplified.
envy is not harmful. Suppressing envy leads to slaver morality
Robert Greene often talks about using envy as a source of motivation. You need to turn envy outwards and propel yourself forward and not inwards in such that it poisons your soul. Envious people are pathetic btw, sometimes I make them envious on purpose just to see them squirm. That's when you know you've won. If people are not envious of you or hate you, then my friend - you're not doing too well ;-)
Step your game up!
@Joe Rogaine jfnfvbhdxjgdhjhef cyjgfghhgbhc hf Fjfjghukkjjjyuuuuytfbf
Both? One is envy and what is the other?
Philosophy adds a DEEP layer of meaning to my life. I have been away from this type of deep thinking for a while and your channel is rekindling my sense of curiosity. thank you
*Jealousy* - thinking of having a privilege to someones attention, "owning" a person.
*Envy* stems from similar feelings but refers to others things, positions, situations.
Although being a manifestation of the ego, a type of benign envy can fuel a persons will to achieve same things.
I have benign enemy like crazy. I see someone who has what I want and I get inspired and attracted to them and then mimic them until I have achieved similar to them, I am not repelled in the least as I celebrate those who I perceive have something I want.
I have realized that jealousy is the fear of losing what you have(a partner, a title, a job,etc) and envy is the fear of not having something that the other person has, something that you want.
@@aayushivasnik Exactly! Every negative feeling can be traced back to fear and every positive - to hope.
@@meatfactory that's a nice way to put it
@J Hunter The issue lies within, my friend
Your topics are unique, like a healing beacon in the darkness of the modern sick world.
If envy could kill, I would've been dead a long time ago. Trying to get past these feelings, and it's harder than everything I've ever done
Are you envious - or is someone harassing you?
Really love all your videos, but this one is truly deep. Your final thought about focusing on own paths & being grateful for what we have therefore giving us no reason to be envious, is profoundly brilliant & honest. Really inspiring wisdom. Have a great stoic day & wishing you continued success with this wonderful channel!
Absolutely! Yes!
I disagree- I find it a trite and not very useful bit of advice, that doesn't really do much to understand the depth of envy and it's function in our psychology.
Keep up the good work, you are helping to change the world by your work.
I've watched many of your videos but I hardly make any comment. However this one touched me somehow. My little brother is mentally disabled and I am not. He was also the only boy in my family. He used to get everything. EVERYTHING he wanted, even when he didn't ask for it. I somehow grew up in his shadow. I felt that I was being used because I was the one translating his language to other people (and also translating for my parents because they couldn't speak French since they had immigrated to France in the 70's). In return I had nothing. I also felt that my mother despised me for being good at school and bringing good marks while she had never been to school and couldn't read. I also felt that she deeply desired that my brother and I switched brains. I felt some sort of guilt, for being 'the clever one'' with a deep sense of responsibility towards my family. As though I had to use this brain of mine, since it was the reason why I had nothing in the first place. I found it hard to come to terms with the universe being unfair. It is but it not. We think that we lack something or we deserve something but the universe doesn't owe us anything (I heard someone say that and it stuck.) As long as we understand that, envy slowly shifts away and we accept what we have and what we are. On the other hand, we might indeed lack something but we are not bound to chains all day long: there are always other things that we have and that others lack.
My envy is tearing me apart and I think it’s connected to social media, main Stream media and the new music on the radio.
German O_well then you have your answer. Get off social media and listen to better music.
I don't know if you are going to read my comment. but man since I discovered your channel three days ago and I am hocked to it. for many reasons 1- good introduction 2- examples from different religions including Islam which is ignored in mostly everything related to humanity in many educating videos on RUclips. 3- you give a personal point of view and to things.
I would recommend a channel called " the school of life ". I love their subjects as well. And I believe you would love it.
Ah, one more thing, talking about envy. I wish to meet a person with whom I can discuss such subjects. Most guys my age are into Tictok or whatever they call it :) I have envy toward you if you are someone knowing all of this so you are a well-rounded human.
Thank you and I am following and liking all of your videos because I honestly really enjoy them.
Thank You for this lesson. I'm relieved to know I'm reacting the positive way. Envy alone is not good or bad, it simply just is as any other feeling. However, it's how we react that defines us. Cheers
We should not conform to injustice. Sometimes people are accused of envy when they point out unfair situations. So we must be really careful to say that something is envy, sometimes it's just the desire for justice and fairness.
I actually needed to hear this today. Thank you.
It's always the SIMPLICITY of your material that stands out. Content wise. It's fascinating. ❤️
I believe it depens on your current reality. But generally speaking, envy is a natural human feeling. We learn through model, imitation, example, and envy can be part of the learning process. With healthy envy you can better yourself. As the video says, watch out what you're envy for.
Envy can be an incentive and driving force to attain that which you are envious of through hard work, determination, sacrifice ad patience.
thank you so much again for this kind of video.. it inspired me to be more focus on my path than to focus to others achievements.
You are now my new favorite channel! Please keep this up! Got me reading so many books
This channel is quickly becoming one of my favourites to watch.
I respect the effort of each video your knowledge and outlook on such topics.
Keep it up please!
Great content, keep the good work, you noticed Islam in this video, it was a true sign of your knowlege, not many people in the west know about this religio and it's teachings much needed for nowadays, The Prophet Muhammad was a thinker and philosopher and a leader in every aspect of life, the most Influential Persons in History deserves more attention from you. Thanks
Dude finding your channel was one of the best moments in my virtual life
hey, i just passed by and i felt an urge to say your videos save lives, Sir. Respect.
Thanks
Just what I needed right now. I was envious about a classmate who has something I desired for long. I felt I needed to get away from it, and searched on your channel if you have any old viddeo about this, thank you for this
You said it just as I was thinking it. If someone has something you want it should be motivation. Not motive for you to be immoral towards them or hurt or harm them to get it.
Naturally I become envious of some of my friends who have (or have had) romantic relationships while I myself have never been in one before. But over time I realize that having a romantic partner is physically, emotionally, and financially draining the longer it goes especially since I have experienced that somewhat vicariously through those friend’s experiences that I know. Therefore, the longer I ponder my envy whenever it arises, the easier it becomes for me to logically let go of that envy because being alone in a way is much more liberating. 😁
No money on honey.
Are you sure you are not just rationalizing away something you still really desire?
I suffer with envy because my career path currently does not afford me the lifestyle I dream of. And my dreams are ridiculous far out of reach it seems.
I don’t know what to do.
You aren't alone
Change your expectations or career. Also, stop comparing yourself to others. Life isn't a race or contest.
3:42 Yes it does mention why. Cain was a good person ONLY when he offered sacrifice. "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" (Gen. 4:7). He was like those people that go back to their old selves right after they finish fasting.
EINZELGÄNGER, the man who delivers!
I'm happy that I can find joy and peace in the success of others. Why not feel happy to see them happy? It's a win-win
Envy is a programming as is all that we choose negatively to counter the positive energy we are born with. The choice is made harder the more we follow the programming and not the provided .
Thank you for this video😊
Thank you for this life-saving video! I will be more aware of envy in 2022!
Thank you for this Sunday go to meeting at the Church of Stoicism. I have to study my dictionary. I was using jealousy and envy synonymously. Now, I must cultivate a new understanding and usage. This is difficult when I have been programed without the fine nuance. Can I teach an old dog new tricks?
If the dog is willing, then it'll be able to learn anything it wants
@@Whodjathink that was what I was about to say, there is no such thing as too late for life only consists of infinite presents(now).
Another great and insightful video ... Thank you
Hey, you did listen to my request! Thank you man!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Thanks for this videos. One day, I'll be able to donate through Patreon, love your videos, they've made me a better person and helped me find some light to some struggles I've had.
Man I have to watch this every time i feel envious just to remind myself.
Same same.
Also, stay away from people who are envious of you, they will always seek to destroy you, especially covertly! I am at least somewhat aware of this pattern i had of keeping envious friends in my life. Now i am more careful and AWARE of this in people.
good afternoon, I dont know if you are going to read this, but I am so grateful that I have found your video.I was going through hell thanks to envy, I cannot get a jop, I I came to know that someone in my circle of my same age already have a job with an amazing salary.Of course it would be nice to have that, but I do not desire a job because I really want it, but because I used to thoght that that is what I am expected to do in society and if I dont have a job then I am worthless,but it is not my case anymore, I couldnt get any job, but I have my own business right now, it is not too much but at less I am doing what I love, thank you so much, it is an excellent video , this video unchained my life
Thank you. May God bless you.
I see envy as a trigger to other negative emotions. Shame and anger are linked to envy. Is the answer to work backwards. For example - why the shame? Dealing with deep rooted issues within yourself will deplete the power of being envious of others has over you.
I've always had to work really hard and take care of myself and my children without the help of anyone, including both ex-husbands (2). I've always envied women that are kept, taken care of. I don't know how to make that go away. It's been a hard life.
Don't be sad it's hard for every one
Not just you😊
This is the is the glass half full or half empty argument, people who see the world as a glass half full tend to be content with what they have while the person who sees the world as a glass half empty only sees what they do not have and envy those the think have more
Thanks for the awesome videos. 🌸
Imagine having a lifelong friend.
Imagine that person being always better connected, much better looking and wealthier.
Imagine that person also regularly womanising and indulging with other mens women.
Imagine your wife clearly finding this person attractive and saying so.
While I am slowly eliminating this person from my life, the anger and envy from this has been unconquerable for me. I’ve bettered myself my entire life but some people have life on a silver platter and then exploit it for their own ends. The admission of my wife crushed my soul, permanently.
No matter how hard I work, or what I do, I’m always second best and his voodoo appeal always wins.
Your friend sounds like a narcissist, and narcissists are experts in drawing people to them to give them the supply to feed their ego. I have had 2 narcissists in my life. It seems like they always win bc they have no shame and do not respect boundaries. Look up the You Tube channel “Surviving Narcissism”, Dr. C is fantastic and can help you get a foothold against this. But I know what you mean, the people closest to you shouldn’t get pulled in by them, but they do…
Do something rewarding for yourself. I hike…
P.s. Also You Tuber “Dr. Ramani” is fantastic!
Look up hypergamy. Our life is by design. The men with power, looks and money design life to maintain those things and have all the advantages. Learn the game and play it better.
@@regaininglife9084 you can’t change facial genetics.
I find it so difficult not to be envious of friends who have had more luck than me. I have a hard time convincing myself that (for example) having more money wouldn't improve my life significantly.
I truly resent my friend for his luck and success, his arrogance (he is really nice guy but also very arrogant too) drives me insane. I resent myself for my bad luck, for my choices. But then I remind myself that my resentment doesn't make sense. My friend did nothing that I would not have done, he was just in the right place at the right time. So then I resent myself. But that too is illogical as my choices where they best they could have been with the resources I had at the time.
So I naturally resent life itself, I resent fate as the stoics would say for saddling me with my brain that made different choices to my friend and for not offering me the same choices he had. Now he is a director of a company and I am paid barely above minimum wage.
But if you can believe it no matter how much i resent life the b*stard doesn't seem to care at all. Furthermore my resentment just drives friends away, it's not their fault they got lucky (I am unlucky enough to have two friends who became successful due to sheer luck of circumstance). And in spite of our differences we are good friends so I value our friendship. It pushes my wife away from me and it blinds me to the opportunities that may drift across my path. It makes me resentful of everything.
I still feel the resentment as keenly as a slap, it cuts deep and hurts a lot. But I quell those feelings because they benefit nobody, it doesn't mean that I don't see more money, more free time, respectable jobs as better things and better than my own life. I just have to work hard to swallow that crap because if I spend my life watching somebody elses life I will never have time to improve my own.
Thank you for this.
Stop paying attention to others and basing your worth around it. Maybe, learn what other people did and do to get "lucky". There are choices and changes you can make to improve your life. It takes some education, self reflection, observation, risk, and believing in yourself. Life doesn't just hand you stuff. Sure, some people had some advantages you didn't have, but that's life. It is unfair. Start learning how you can create advantages for yourself. You can make the choice to do this or you can decide to stay miserable. If you decide to not do shit, then you should tell yourself to accept your life and stop complaining.
Man, I love this YT channel.
I came here to look for a cure of my envy
I ended up having even more rage and envy than before. Total Unfairness in this world and the judgement of the universe
And this is totally killing me. I admit it. I want to put an end of this but don't know how
Daniel_is it because being envious of another triggers underlying shame in yourself? Ask yourself, why the shame?
I have a video suggestion for you. "When you hurt someone's feeling in the past(3years ago) & realized it now & can't do anything about it (because of no contact) other than blaming yourself."
What's the stoics have to say about this?
I believe a stoic would advise you to apologise to the person if you can. If you can't, you should leave the past behind and look to do good in the future. I think the stoics would encourage you not to chain yourself to the past like that. We cannot change what happened in the past. No point in worrying about it.
I heard Jordan Peterson say that you should only compare yourself to yourself from yesterday. I never focus on anyone else since only I have to face to the consequences of my choices.
i'm envious of your knowledge :)
Thank you so much for making one for envy
It's embarrassing when my jealous face pops up. I don't have the grit to say, "sorry I just got jealous" on the spot to neutralize everything, I try to hide
When I was in 8th grade I was really envious about a kid who newly joined our school and kept getting good marks than me.
I unknowingly accepted him as my rival and later that year I got A grades in all subjects.
I was really happy I don't know why I was envious about him but soon after starting 9th grade we actually became very good friends and till this date I'm in 12th grade I don't understand why I was so envious to him for getting good marks.
As of now I lack motivation and I feel as if I'm saturated to my surroundings I don't feel any thing about marks I just feel numb towards everything.
I lack motivation and as of now I'm really bad on my grades and unable to recover.
😔
Maybe your rivalry with that person was a "good competition" for you. Your desire to get what that person posses pushed you to work and get high grades which is nice. However, after getting what you wanted you felt demotivated because there is no longer a "competition."
Your lack of motivation is because you don’t have future goals that you are passionate about. Why is getting good grades important to you? What will achieve by having them? You saw that boy and the effect good grades had on him and desired that outcome for yourself. You can achieve something similar now that your desires have matured by thinking about what you want to achieve with your good grades and check out role models who have already made it there for inspiration.
I enjoy many of these videos from mr Peterson except when he brings the bible and other books of religion many people are not interested in reading fiction so maybe he should stick to the facts of life
It’s a natural and silly thought process nothing out of ordinary. Even babies get envious.
I'm disappointed with this, because i'm not convinced that the unfairness of life doesn't impact the ability to be happy.
Can you make a video on how to deal with anger as a response to unfairness of life?
When I think about the unfairness of life which I have witnessed, and which has affected me, I often think of those caught up in the Holocaust.
By accident of birth, age in which they lived, millions of people were arbitrarily executed, suffering a loss of freedom and life.
We live in world where people who are more violent, of middling intelligence, unencumbered with ethical reasoning often do well 'materially'.
Good luck to them! I am happy with what I have, and with who I am.
unfairness that stimulates anger comes from a sense of entitlement that one deserves better or doesn't deserve their particular situation.
@@christinah.8504 is that feeling not justified though?
mak what is it that made you believe that life is or even should be fair? There is zero evidence in the natural world for that belief.
@@theladystoic i do not believe life is fair. Why i believe it should be fair? Because i value fairness.
Yes to be grateful of what we have.
God and then baba's upbringing made me so pure. I envy no one. I don't have time for this in my entire day
Another great video. Very insightful as always n.n
Envy isnt ever going away.
Envy can be used for good reasons, such as to better yourself..like learning a new skill. I very rarely envy anyone, I would like to pilot a fighter jet or go up into Space. Last time I was very envious was watching kitesurfers, I wanted to learn so bad. Got 8 years experience now:)
Envy can't, there must be a word to what you are referring to but it's definitely not envy
Your videos helps me alot :)
Good question about why God would accept Abel's offering and not Cain's. Being all powerful and all knowing, God should have known that doing this would ignite rage in Cain, and lead to a bad outcome. It seems that a loving god would accept both sacrifices, no matter how great or poor they were, and not show such favoritism.
I love this channel.
If you focus on bettering yourself than being envious of external things people have, you become highly secured without burdon of preserving external things. You don't attract other envious people yourself and free of all bondage. Anyway you are not going to carry material wealth after death. Live happily now than in misery for things you don't have but others have. If these come to you , you will be happy if not you are happy anyway.
I love your video's. Thank you so much
Thank you George! Appreciated!
Turn that envy into motivation.
Nice video like always
Just asked for this one... Thanks...
Similarity and difference between stoicism and Buddhism?
We need modern phyllosoper like you. You should write a book
I would be very interested in learning more about the stoic approach to handle envy and jealousy coming from other people. Not how we deal with our own envy, but how to deal with it coming from other people. Have the Stoics any helpful tips about how to handle better the shadow coming from other people?
God loves us all equally, he desires all of us to be happy. Us being born with different gifts and even different situations are all to do with what our destiny requires us to learn along the way.
Even a child born into poverty (God forbid) can allow for that person to be able to relate to those in difficult situations in the future even when they themselves are out of it.
Always remember “What Satan intended for evil, God intended for good” Genesis 50:20.
I have been envious of people born in another country that isn't my country. I have been envious of people's circumstances and thus are far ahead of me in terms of intelligence since their education system isn't failing, unlike mine. My old elementary schools shut down due to how bad it was. I checked how the school inspectors rated and they rated it 1 star and said the school had plenty of problems. It was expensive and horrible, the teachers were strict but bad. But ever since I moved to another country I was very behind in terms of classes. Although I'm not actually behind, but the people around me are ahead. Im honestly tired Im envious of the people who were born lucky. And thats what im trying to accept.
There can be so many scars on your soul. Just because you are beautiful it doesn't mean your life is perfect
Well done with 63k subs
Good. Well put.
Hey first of all great videos you make (ran out of new ones seeing these older ones)
I think you would find it interesting to look into the gnostic interpretation of Cain and Abel in which Cain is favoured for his refusal to serve God which from a gnostic point of view entrapped the eternal spirit in matter causing existence and by extension suffering. I really dumbed that down but I really suggest anyone reading this to look up the gnostic point of view on Cain and Abel.
Peace
NIN Pretty Hate Machine - Something I can never have
brought me here (eventually over time, in spirit)
this is beautiful
Envy is wanting what someone else has and jealousy is wishing they didn't have it.
I am here to find out how to get rid of envious people aka "friends" in my life. I am a grateful person, and I love helping my friends, but after so many disappointments, I am more defensive, and it is hard for me to trust people's intentions.
Good lord. You just described Shelly Cooper and Robin Cole’s feelings of me.
Another great video 💜
Is it wrong to have a relationship if you are lonely?
I have this question also. Theres a void in my soul that, up to this point, the only thing that appears to fill it is validation from someone I'm attracted to (platonically or romantically). Intellectually, I know that chasing validation wont lead to happiness or meaning, but the warmth in my chest when I finally receive it seems to melt my anxieties and worries away, at least for a little while.
On the other hand, grandiosity and its symptoms (perfectionism, insecurity, low self esteem) can be cured by, as the Like Stories of Old video on the subject reports, "a relationship with a real person".
So, I really dont know what really I should be striving for. At the moment, I'm living off thrill-seeking by doing things I'm afraid of or cause me anxiety. A relationship - a deep, connected relationship - scares the shit out of me for some reason. Yet, it's also the thing that seems to hint a fulfilled way of being.
I hope this makes sense, Donquixote. Your comment kinda just sparked this train of thought for me. Just want you to know that you're not alone in your loneliness.
Cheers
@@ironpudding5679 Thanks for being here for me❤
You're never lonely... Your will find your Donquixote family pretty soon.
This was good. Thank you
Excellent.
I envy a lot of people to the point I become hateful and it drives me insane
You're not entitled to anything. If you want nice things in life it takes work. Either do the work or get used to being broke and directionless.
Wait till you get old and ill and are surrounded by the young,fit and healthy😶
Thanks very much more than this so good idea but you 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
That fast! Thank you my brother :D
If the worse outcome of envy is the destruction of our envy''s object, an even worse and stupider outcome is the destruction of self with corroding emotions stemming from the envy.
This video is so inspiring
I used to be jealous. Now I am angry.
Angry at who or what?
@@kenshobuq7105 e.
Hahahaha
Hahahaha
I used to be angry, now I'm hungry.
Thank you