I'm a infj and my husband is a estp 12 years of forgiveness and understanding both ends.. but he is the peanut butter to my jelly. Sometimes I can make things difficult to but I don't think of it as lacking feelings because he can't express as fast as I can but I look at it as not taking things to personal and not getting easily offended. We never stay mad at each other and respect on another's differences and allow one another to be their best self. We both keep the boundaries and give each other space.
I'm and INFJ male with an ESTP ex (male). I always felt gas-lit when I would confront him about certain things. As INFJs we get hunches when things just aren't feeling right, like when your significant other is acting different. Yeah, I probably pushed too far with the assumptions but it turns out in the end I was correct. I saw all the signs but I was convinced by him that none of that was ever happening. Just be truthful about what you want out of a relationship. There is someone out there that wants exactly what you do. Don't break someone's ability to trust, spare them the trauma. Honesty and Communication really is key as corny as it sounds.
I agree it wasn't a good fit but when you say you felt gaslit and "I was convinced by him that none of that was ever happening", is it possible he saw things differently than you and was maybe overconfident but wasn't a compulsive liar?
I haven't even watched the video yet and I am soooo glad you tackled this, coz looking back, I can say with all certainty that 80% of my abusers have been ENTPs and ESTPS, both male and female. These have been from family members, frenemies, or coworkers/bosses or that toxic neighbours. These types just seems to find me, unless I lock myself in the house and just hide. Exhausting!
And all the males I have run away from and escaped being married to, have also belonged to this ENTP/ESTP tribe. I cant even call them boyfriends coz whatever was happening was just bizarre and I dont think it qualified as a relationship. Its ore like they saw me as a challenge or I don't know what they they wanted to conquer or get, and after awhile I just run away. One of them I had to cut the toxic bond brutally - nothing illegal or immoral. Dont worry. I just had to make sure he wouldn't come back, or if he thought of coming back e would think 1000 times before even trying it. I am sure he he is spreading the word around as to what a malicious person I am and I have probably lost some work/career opportunities because of it, but I left with my mental health intact, or just a little shattered. I am safe and that's all that matters. I didnt end up marrying a Narc, and if that costs me my career, then so be it.
I am sorry but good for you and do not worry. I am from the street so illegal is not beyond my life. As for why they are in your life and what is happening I will explain soon. I figured it out or at least have a very good idea. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you. Watching all your videos. At least your stuff is not cookie cutter 'INFJ this; or ;INFJ that;. It sucks being an INFJ female and I am SOOOO glad you are tackling this in particular and validating those of us who are wondering WHAT THE HECK IS THIS REALITY I AM LIVING IN??? It's like a parallel universe that other females dont experience. Just me????? Lol!
I've only had one relationship and it was with an estp. Living and breathing disaster lol. He wasn't a narcissist though. He had a really difficult life and I tried my best to help him. In the end I had to cut it off because I wasn't in love with him and he kept begging to keep the relationship. Pretty traumatic experience but I wish well for him. I never understood why someone would want to keep a relationship with a person they know doesn't feel for them. If the roles were reversed I would have let him go the second I knew he didn't want me. That was the biggest difference I saw between us and believe me there were many many differences.
INFJ here. I took my narcissistic ex boyfriend to the court on 2011 when I had not idea what "narcissistic" means, I was 26 he was 32. I learned about narcissistic personality disorder on 2018 an I found out that I'm an INFJ 10 days ago.
I specifically searched for a video that explains why INFJs and ESTPs should never start a relationship except if they’re willing to separate in two years.
I do not mean to be offensive to you or others who may agree with this video, but I must object to bias against ESTP type. I am aligned with INFJ and, yes, due to lack of boundries and other things have recived mistreatment. But Type should not be misused in this way. We can not understand character from type. There are abusive people of all types and noone is all good or all bad, including INFJs. Many people are desperate for validation, and will point the finger and call people narcissists and sociopaths, but the best thing to do is to try to always point the finger at yourself first and fix your own bad behaviour. Then develop boundaries and just be good to people within reason. Let your grudges go. You never know what anyone else has had to live through or deal with. There are many wonderful ESTPs in the world and the same with INFJs and every other type. Everyone does bad things, let's focus on trying to personally be the ones who are not so abusive. Many people who think that they are victims and cry a lot can be very nasty people but totally blind to their own behavior. This relatively recent trend of the narcicism pop psychology is full of these people. Type is a tool to help understand possible cognative preferences and information processing. It is not an identity. God bless you everyone.
What is your exact point? Great comment and thank you for taking the time, but... Why did you not say something like this: " Fuck People??? Live your life with honor. Live your life with respect for yourself and for what you do and say. Expect nothing less than the same from others. When you do not receive it: walk the fuck away. Always do your best! " TYWC - Marty
When you've been in the very kind of relationship that is decribed ... then you would know and understand exactly why it makes perfect sense! Before being in one that took years to get out of and barely escaped it safely but not without injury to myself physically and mentally as well as my kids ... I may have thought simularly to a degree! You would not still see things as they should be but as they are if you've been through it! My last relationship opened my eyes to my expectations and always being my nice infj self to now understanding the infj door slam and how to avoid needing it in the future! It would be nice if the world could work that way tho!
ESTP here and I was the one being taken advantage of in my most recent relationships. Dated a narcissistic ISFP and INFP. Both wreaked havoc on my life. They both left the relationship better off than they were when it started. Not me though. I’m still recovering from the damage that the second one did.
This is my husband and I. We've had major challenges. Wish this video had been longer. Maybe make another video about this dynamic? It helps to understand where our problems stem from based on our personality. He has a lot of anger and is prone to addiction. I'm learning unconditional love and forgiveness, but it hasn't been easy.
Man, I'm an ESTP Male. My ex was infj. It turns out that I feel devastated by her after the relationship end. I have no idea if it went other way around and she felt that too. Btw I strongly feel that INFJ ( or maybe another feeling oriented type as well) thinking that ESTPs lacks feeling. That's not true. We just cannot deal with it. Btw I agree with other qualities you mentioned.
NEWnewie - You say you have feelings but you cannot "deal" with them/it. All malignant narcissists have feelings! They are a big bad ball of feelings!! - you admit that you cannot deal with it.... what are you 5 years old?? You CAN deal with it (feelings) you just don't choose to. That's why she left you. That's my 2 cents for free.
@@junegerber4028 good thing your hear to tell someone who they are and what happened in their relationship when you do t even know them based on one thing he said 🙄 super toxic
@@junegerber4028 lol are YOU 5 years old? You’re calling someone else, who you don’t know, a narcissist.. and lecturing them. You’re the one acting like a 5 year old. WTF.
True. The only narcissists in my life have been ESTPs even a parent and since we get attracted to people like our parents, I always got pulled towards them. They always made me anxious. I’m glad I got some sense and finally settled with an INFP who is understanding and caring. Makes me feel relaxed.
I'm ESTJ and it seems like a lot of unhealthy INFJs are the ones going around diagnosing people with narcissism, particularly those who think differently from them. I would never assume someone only cares about themselves, or adversely that they're without fault. Just because someone doesn't seem caring or doesn't understand you or thinks very differently does NOT mean they're a narcissist.
hi .. i am a INFJ male .. and my wife is an ESTP .. its more like the ESTP vampire latches on me than the other way around .. next year 23rd feb its our 2o th annerversary .. it is tough .. but only an INFJ know that we somehow has this super-power .. you have to mature as an INFJ .. whereby you atill an INFJ .. but when you address what you are lacking .. you have the ability 1) to amplify S(e) through being conscious in the present .. and 2) try to be on hunches for example to earn money .. this will keep N(i) in check 3) use T(i) to keep F(e) in check .. this is how you live with your vampire wife
You know I am not sure we are on the same page but it does not matter for I like the way you talked about functions and how to use them in a way that works for you and your wife. I will think about what you said for my life. Well done and said. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
I like to think outloud myself and often feel punished for thinking the way I do by the estp. Was gaslit for years. WhenI express how I feel I am always the one at fault for even expressing my concerns and how I feel. Ugh. It sucks
I experienced this too, Though I think ESTPs are generally unboundable. I tried to create boundaries and it just ended up a door slam. For the ESTP they just burn bridges. These aren't really healthy boundaries, but I couldn't have this behavior in my life. I had just gotten free of an abuse situation so I wasn't going to let myself be shutdown just to put up with another.
My dad is an ESTP. I can tell you having met quite a few that if you warn them about a consequence of their actions they tend to get irritated. If you do X then Y might happen ( is responded to with so what, or shut up)! They tend toward drug use which, I suppose, could make them look like a person in need of saving which could lure in a INFJ woman.
It is also the Extroverted Attitude that is creating some of the problem with regards to lacking Subject thoughts with emotion and they tend to think of me first and what the4y can take from the subject or outside world. This is only made worse by the extroverted sensing and the critical planning and thinking of the Perceiving type and then this is all back up with the Ti. Just not a good match. TYWC - Marty
New subscriber here, I just discovered you. Only just today I was thinking about a relationship I was in in terms of MBTI types. It never occurred to me before to do so. I am an INFJ who was taken advantage of by a narcissist. I only ever thought about the relationship in terms of co-dependancy. Your analysis is very accurate for me. I strongly suspect he was an ESTP. Edited - after watching a few of your videos, I began to question if I really was an INFJ. I also took the 16 personalities test again. I got INFP. I did some more digging on INFPs and now I'm pretty sure this is my true type.
I responded to another viewer with this: He was: ESFP or ESTP The first two letters with the last being: P Wounded as a child creates these Extroverted types into the Malignant Narcissist. TYWC - Marty
please structure your videos more because we cannot follow your train of thoughts when you are thinking out loud, it's really hard to remember and understand your points. Thank you ! You have good ideas but just need overall better structure
I am INFJ I tend to meet a lot of ENFP females in this way, sometimes ESFP. Something about the ESTP or ENTP would be interesting I assume, because being smart is something I admire. I don't mean ENFP or ESFP isn't smart, being in touch with your feelings is also something I admire. And by meet I don't mean dating, just know faces, names and somehow have an intuitive leap on it or just introduce MBTI to a few. think abuse is mostly nurture. Whatever type you are. But yes the abusive behaviour would show up respective of the MBTI type. At least that's what I think.
Well let me help with this much... An E for the first letter means extroverted and you are introverted. So you think about others first and they think about themselves first. With that said, does that sound like a good start to you? TYWC - Mary
Just a different view and hoping something within the video helps or adds information to a viewer that will help. I have done many on this topic regardless of type. Playlist has it; check there if you want. :) TYWC - Marty
Yeah... infj, this dynamic is fitting I feel like my first long term committed relationship at ~18 years old. Partially my fault for staying so long. I dont even think I was really attracted sexually or romantically so much... but attracted to that type of emotional mistreatment and stress, for sure.
"Watch this" I expected to be thoroughly unimpressed and you did not disappoint. I saw an introvert that said in a comment they wanted another pandemic to happen so they would be able to stay in their room, which is one of the most narcissistic things I've heard. It should go without saying but any type can be narcissistic.
Sarah. I’m not having the best day. I’m sitting here on the couch reading comments, mostly yours, approving all of them and after a little while… What is your problem? TYWC - Marty
From a possibly narcissistic partner I had and I don’t know what type he was the struggle was like this - luck of feeling, spontaneity which disrespected all what was important to me and extroverted anger...oh boy he had real issues with anger...and luck of intuition now when I’m thinking about it plus culturally need to be ‘above’ with luck of intuition is hard...yeah I’d say it’s right 😅
He was: ESFP or ESTP The first two letters with the last being: P Wounded as a child creates these Extroverted types into the Malignant Narcissist. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn very interesting...yeah he had dofficult background...sensitive kid whos dad was macho towards mum disrespectful and such...power was the rule in the family and he as a sensitive kid was certainly wunded by that quite a bit.
@@marty_glenn I find interesting though that there are people who are wunded the way which makes others missarable and than there are people who are wunded as well (I believe many INFJs experienced either childhood trauma or later in life trauma) and managed to get through that - even if with some almost ´narcisstic´ not always considerate to others periods...although (in INFJ or possibly INF) the intensity of feelings is somewhat present and are more intense (as I observe) than other peoples...or maybe there is more connection to it than most people have or realise...just thinking out loud :D
The 'E' is where the abuse comes from so let me break this down further: The ESTP is Extroverted ( lacking subjective if he was abused ) and is Extorverted Sensing so everything is based on what he can see or touch or feel and there is no Intuition or past or future thoughts of kindness and the introverted feeling is not enough to overcome the Extroverted abused inner child. Does that make sense to you? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes he was extroverted, and always present moment abuser. It makes sense. He had a traumatic birth and then was abused. So I fell for caregiving. Then they turn on you. Sadly. Thanks!
You need an NFP partner. I’m not sure whether you’re INFj or ENFJ. But as an INFj you could use an enfp, and if you’re enfj like me you do perfect with INFPs.
Help me understand Marty; why did you not simply do this video over. It CAN'T be your best work. It is thoroughly unconvincing. No, you did not do a good job, bud.
Yes. You are right. Reason: I spent the time. I hope one person watches and gets anything positive or the video gets comments that help me or another viewer. Thanks and now I have to do it over again and make it count. TYWC - Marty
Malignant Narcissism = A person who thinks only of themselves and when they do wrong to others, they will not admit it or say sorry. They feel and think they are above everyone else and will never see their mistakes as mistakes but as actions they needed to take to defend themselves, what they want and their ego / self esteem. I call them: Wrecking Balls. TYWC - Marty
I'm a infj and my husband is a estp 12 years of forgiveness and understanding both ends.. but he is the peanut butter to my jelly. Sometimes I can make things difficult to but I don't think of it as lacking feelings because he can't express as fast as I can but I look at it as not taking things to personal and not getting easily offended. We never stay mad at each other and respect on another's differences and allow one another to be their best self. We both keep the boundaries and give each other space.
"You keep keep boundaries and give space" - Perfect. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn if a woman estp-t which character with man that could be balance? Thank you...
INFJ's run away from many relationships no matter the type. No exception. It is also an INFJ patern. Remember that. 🥰
I'm and INFJ male with an ESTP ex (male). I always felt gas-lit when I would confront him about certain things. As INFJs we get hunches when things just aren't feeling right, like when your significant other is acting different. Yeah, I probably pushed too far with the assumptions but it turns out in the end I was correct. I saw all the signs but I was convinced by him that none of that was ever happening.
Just be truthful about what you want out of a relationship. There is someone out there that wants exactly what you do. Don't break someone's ability to trust, spare them the trauma. Honesty and Communication really is key as corny as it sounds.
I agree it wasn't a good fit but when you say you felt gaslit and "I was convinced by him that none of that was ever happening", is it possible he saw things differently than you and was maybe overconfident but wasn't a compulsive liar?
I haven't even watched the video yet and I am soooo glad you tackled this, coz looking back, I can say with all certainty that 80% of my abusers have been ENTPs and ESTPS, both male and female. These have been from family members, frenemies, or coworkers/bosses or that toxic neighbours. These types just seems to find me, unless I lock myself in the house and just hide. Exhausting!
And all the males I have run away from and escaped being married to, have also belonged to this ENTP/ESTP tribe. I cant even call them boyfriends coz whatever was happening was just bizarre and I dont think it qualified as a relationship. Its ore like they saw me as a challenge or I don't know what they they wanted to conquer or get, and after awhile I just run away. One of them I had to cut the toxic bond brutally - nothing illegal or immoral. Dont worry. I just had to make sure he wouldn't come back, or if he thought of coming back e would think 1000 times before even trying it. I am sure he he is spreading the word around as to what a malicious person I am and I have probably lost some work/career opportunities because of it, but I left with my mental health intact, or just a little shattered. I am safe and that's all that matters. I didnt end up marrying a Narc, and if that costs me my career, then so be it.
I am sorry but good for you and do not worry. I am from the street so illegal is not beyond my life. As for why they are in your life and what is happening I will explain soon. I figured it out or at least have a very good idea. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you. Watching all your videos. At least your stuff is not cookie cutter 'INFJ this; or ;INFJ that;. It sucks being an INFJ female and I am SOOOO glad you are tackling this in particular and validating those of us who are wondering WHAT THE HECK IS THIS REALITY I AM LIVING IN??? It's like a parallel universe that other females dont experience. Just me????? Lol!
You are welcome. It is not easy. I hope I can just open another window for a view others have not offered. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn You are. Thank you.
I've only had one relationship and it was with an estp. Living and breathing disaster lol. He wasn't a narcissist though. He had a really difficult life and I tried my best to help him. In the end I had to cut it off because I wasn't in love with him and he kept begging to keep the relationship. Pretty traumatic experience but I wish well for him. I never understood why someone would want to keep a relationship with a person they know doesn't feel for them. If the roles were reversed I would have let him go the second I knew he didn't want me. That was the biggest difference I saw between us and believe me there were many many differences.
I had the same experience. The breakup was hard. I didn't love him and had to keep it up for him.
INFJ here. I took my narcissistic ex boyfriend to the court on 2011 when I had not idea what "narcissistic" means, I was 26 he was 32. I learned about narcissistic personality disorder on 2018 an I found out that I'm an INFJ 10 days ago.
I specifically searched for a video that explains why INFJs and ESTPs should never start a relationship except if they’re willing to separate in two years.
And if the ESTP wants to be secretly diagnosed with narcissism.
I do not mean to be offensive to you or others who may agree with this video, but I must object to bias against ESTP type. I am aligned with INFJ and, yes, due to lack of boundries and other things have recived mistreatment. But Type should not be misused in this way. We can not understand character from type. There are abusive people of all types and noone is all good or all bad, including INFJs. Many people are desperate for validation, and will point the finger and call people narcissists and sociopaths, but the best thing to do is to try to always point the finger at yourself first and fix your own bad behaviour. Then develop boundaries and just be good to people within reason. Let your grudges go. You never know what anyone else has had to live through or deal with. There are many wonderful ESTPs in the world and the same with INFJs and every other type. Everyone does bad things, let's focus on trying to personally be the ones who are not so abusive. Many people who think that they are victims and cry a lot can be very nasty people but totally blind to their own behavior. This relatively recent trend of the narcicism pop psychology is full of these people. Type is a tool to help understand possible cognative preferences and information processing. It is not an identity. God bless you everyone.
What is your exact point?
Great comment and thank you for taking the time, but...
Why did you not say something like this: " Fuck People??? Live your life with honor. Live your life with respect for yourself and for what you do and say. Expect nothing less than the same from others. When you do not receive it: walk the fuck away. Always do your best! "
TYWC - Marty
When you've been in the very kind of relationship that is decribed ... then you would know and understand exactly why it makes perfect sense!
Before being in one that took years to get out of and barely escaped it safely but not without injury to myself physically and mentally as well as my kids ... I may have thought simularly to a degree!
You would not still see things as they should be but as they are if you've been through it!
My last relationship opened my eyes to my expectations and always being my nice infj self to now understanding the infj door slam and how to avoid needing it in the future!
It would be nice if the world could work that way tho!
ESTP here and I was the one being taken advantage of in my most recent relationships. Dated a narcissistic ISFP and INFP. Both wreaked havoc on my life. They both left the relationship better off than they were when it started. Not me though. I’m still recovering from the damage that the second one did.
@@marty_glenn "Great comment... but..." Why didn't you just say you hated their comment lol
Totally, my brother-in-law is a healthy ESTP. I'm ESTJ and we're pretty hated in the mbti community too, and I don't fit all the stereotypes.
This is my husband and I. We've had major challenges. Wish this video had been longer. Maybe make another video about this dynamic? It helps to understand where our problems stem from based on our personality. He has a lot of anger and is prone to addiction. I'm learning unconditional love and forgiveness, but it hasn't been easy.
I will do many more videos on these subjects but I need to get my life organized to do it in a way that will work for all. Stay tuned... TYWC - Marty
Get out, Get out, GET OUT!!!!
Man, I'm an ESTP Male. My ex was infj. It turns out that I feel devastated by her after the relationship end. I have no idea if it went other way around and she felt that too. Btw I strongly feel that INFJ ( or maybe another feeling oriented type as well) thinking that ESTPs lacks feeling. That's not true. We just cannot deal with it.
Btw I agree with other qualities you mentioned.
Do not have it or Cannot feel it. Can you explain the difference to me? TYWC - Marty
NEWnewie - You say you have feelings but you cannot "deal" with them/it. All malignant narcissists have feelings! They are a big bad ball of feelings!! - you admit that you cannot deal with it.... what are you 5 years old?? You CAN deal with it (feelings) you just don't choose to. That's why she left you. That's my 2 cents for free.
@@junegerber4028 good thing your hear to tell someone who they are and what happened in their relationship when you do t even know them based on one thing he said 🙄 super toxic
@@junegerber4028 someone's a little angry.... INFJ I imagine? 🤔
@@junegerber4028 lol are YOU 5 years old? You’re calling someone else, who you don’t know, a narcissist.. and lecturing them. You’re the one acting like a 5 year old. WTF.
True. The only narcissists in my life have been ESTPs even a parent and since we get attracted to people like our parents, I always got pulled towards them. They always made me anxious. I’m glad I got some sense and finally settled with an INFP who is understanding and caring. Makes me feel relaxed.
I'm ESTJ and it seems like a lot of unhealthy INFJs are the ones going around diagnosing people with narcissism, particularly those who think differently from them. I would never assume someone only cares about themselves, or adversely that they're without fault. Just because someone doesn't seem caring or doesn't understand you or thinks very differently does NOT mean they're a narcissist.
INFJs and ENFPs have a great opposites attract in skills, but they have the same hierarchy of values which makes them perfect in romance.
hi .. i am a INFJ male .. and my wife is an ESTP .. its more like the ESTP vampire latches on me than the other way around .. next year 23rd feb its our 2o th annerversary .. it is tough .. but only an INFJ know that we somehow has this super-power .. you have to mature as an INFJ .. whereby you atill an INFJ .. but when you address what you are lacking .. you have the ability 1) to amplify S(e) through being conscious in the present .. and 2) try to be on hunches for example to earn money .. this will keep N(i) in check 3) use T(i) to keep F(e) in check .. this is how you live with your vampire wife
You know I am not sure we are on the same page but it does not matter for I like the way you talked about functions and how to use them in a way that works for you and your wife. I will think about what you said for my life. Well done and said. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
I was severely manipulated and treated quite awfully by an ESTP in my past. I am an INFJ female..
So you agree with me? I am just guessing and winging it. lol TYWC - Marty
This is great Marty! You are soooooo insightful!!
Always doing my best; thank you for the positive words. TYWC - Marty
You can do this exact case study on me and my current boyfriend. I'm almost broken I better leave soon.
I appreciate your lecture very much, I’m a INFJ and was married for 30 years to a ESTP and you are spot on. Thank you
How does it feel?
I second that! I was in a 15 yr marriage with an estp borderline narcissist. Glad I escaped. Excellent lecture!
I like to think outloud myself and often feel punished for thinking the way I do by the estp. Was gaslit for years. WhenI express how I feel I am always the one at fault for even expressing my concerns and how I feel. Ugh. It sucks
Boundaries. Find them and learn to set them. TYWC - Marty
I experienced this too, Though I think ESTPs are generally unboundable. I tried to create boundaries and it just ended up a door slam. For the ESTP they just burn bridges. These aren't really healthy boundaries, but I couldn't have this behavior in my life. I had just gotten free of an abuse situation so I wasn't going to let myself be shutdown just to put up with another.
I’m married to an estp. Can you make it work??? And is there a healthy info/estp relationship?
how is he writing on glass???!!!
He writes on it, then reverses the image/video, …so that we can read it.
My dad is an ESTP. I can tell you having met quite a few that if you warn them about a consequence of their actions they tend to get irritated. If you do X then Y might happen ( is responded to with so what, or shut up)! They tend toward drug use which, I suppose, could make them look like a person in need of saving which could lure in a INFJ woman.
It is also the Extroverted Attitude that is creating some of the problem with regards to lacking Subject thoughts with emotion and they tend to think of me first and what the4y can take from the subject or outside world. This is only made worse by the extroverted sensing and the critical planning and thinking of the Perceiving type and then this is all back up with the Ti. Just not a good match. TYWC - Marty
Why just Woman?
New subscriber here, I just discovered you. Only just today I was thinking about a relationship I was in in terms of MBTI types. It never occurred to me before to do so. I am an INFJ who was taken advantage of by a narcissist. I only ever thought about the relationship in terms of co-dependancy. Your analysis is very accurate for me. I strongly suspect he was an ESTP.
Edited - after watching a few of your videos, I began to question if I really was an INFJ. I also took the 16 personalities test again. I got INFP. I did some more digging on INFPs and now I'm pretty sure this is my true type.
I responded to another viewer with this:
He was: ESFP or ESTP
The first two letters with the last being: P
Wounded as a child creates these Extroverted types into the Malignant Narcissist. TYWC - Marty
please structure your videos more because we cannot follow your train of thoughts when you are thinking out loud, it's really hard to remember and understand your points. Thank you ! You have good ideas but just need overall better structure
Just left a narcissistic ESTP. Man, I'm only a minute in. I am INFJ. Many bad things took place.
Boundaries are set and then attacked. Defend them. ;) TYWC - Marty
INFJ and ESTP are best pair from all possible to ESTP. I based on real life experience.
Great. Always positive comments for those reading. TYWC - Marty
glad I found your channel. I need this!
Thank you for your positive words. TYWC - Marty
I am INFJ I tend to meet a lot of ENFP females in this way, sometimes ESFP. Something about the ESTP or ENTP would be interesting I assume, because being smart is something I admire. I don't mean ENFP or ESFP isn't smart, being in touch with your feelings is also something I admire. And by meet I don't mean dating, just know faces, names and somehow have an intuitive leap on it or just introduce MBTI to a few. think abuse is mostly nurture. Whatever type you are. But yes the abusive behaviour would show up respective of the MBTI type. At least that's what I think.
Well let me help with this much...
An E for the first letter means extroverted and you are introverted. So you think about others first and they think about themselves first. With that said, does that sound like a good start to you? TYWC - Mary
I think most NF types could be vulnerable to narcissists .. how come this focuses in on infj?
Just a different view and hoping something within the video helps or adds information to a viewer that will help. I have done many on this topic regardless of type. Playlist has it; check there if you want. :) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn awesome, thanks!
Yeah... infj, this dynamic is fitting I feel like my first long term committed relationship at ~18 years old. Partially my fault for staying so long. I dont even think I was really attracted sexually or romantically so much... but attracted to that type of emotional mistreatment and stress, for sure.
Look to the inner child for that answer: "but attracted to that type of emotional mistreatment and stress, for sure." TYWC - Marty
"Watch this" I expected to be thoroughly unimpressed and you did not disappoint.
I saw an introvert that said in a comment they wanted another pandemic to happen so they would be able to stay in their room, which is one of the most narcissistic things I've heard.
It should go without saying but any type can be narcissistic.
Sarah. I’m not having the best day. I’m sitting here on the couch reading comments, mostly yours, approving all of them and after a little while…
What is your problem? TYWC - Marty
I think an unhealthy ESTP would definitely lead to this. Not sure what type my ex is but he is toxic and unhealthy and it wasn't just with me.
Healthy or Unhealthy. ? I have not totally comes to terms with that yet and exactly what it means. TYWC - Marty
Infj here....this is spot on.
Always doing my best. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
From a possibly narcissistic partner I had and I don’t know what type he was the struggle was like this - luck of feeling, spontaneity which disrespected all what was important to me and extroverted anger...oh boy he had real issues with anger...and luck of intuition now when I’m thinking about it plus culturally need to be ‘above’ with luck of intuition is hard...yeah I’d say it’s right 😅
He was: ESFP or ESTP
The first two letters with the last being: P
Wounded as a child creates these Extroverted types into the Malignant Narcissist. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn very interesting...yeah he had dofficult background...sensitive kid whos dad was macho towards mum disrespectful and such...power was the rule in the family and he as a sensitive kid was certainly wunded by that quite a bit.
Makes sense. Child trauma is real and causes life long harm - Marty
@@marty_glenn I find interesting though that there are people who are wunded the way which makes others missarable and than there are people who are wunded as well (I believe many INFJs experienced either childhood trauma or later in life trauma) and managed to get through that - even if with some almost ´narcisstic´ not always considerate to others periods...although (in INFJ or possibly INF) the intensity of feelings is somewhat present and are more intense (as I observe) than other peoples...or maybe there is more connection to it than most people have or realise...just thinking out loud :D
I just got chills all over my body because you are that correct. This is me and my soon to be ex-husband.
I am always going my best and trying to help. I hope I am doing that. TYWC - Marty
Yes! I am an older female that lived with that marriage. He was a methodical abuser. I'm infj and he was like that , yes.
The 'E' is where the abuse comes from so let me break this down further:
The ESTP is Extroverted ( lacking subjective if he was abused ) and is Extorverted Sensing so everything is based on what he can see or touch or feel and there is no Intuition or past or future thoughts of kindness and the introverted feeling is not enough to overcome the Extroverted abused inner child. Does that make sense to you? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes he was extroverted, and always present moment abuser. It makes sense. He had a traumatic birth and then was abused. So I fell for caregiving. Then they turn on you. Sadly. Thanks!
I will explain why and what is happening so you know and can look out for it in the future. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn do you work now? What are you doing? How are you today?
Yes. now. Working. Doing well, thank you. TYWC - Marty
Loved it!Spot on on the personality type.And once your in ,well that is another story hey?
The trick is to see the person early. Act early. Thanks for watching. TYWC - Marty
You need an NFP partner. I’m not sure whether you’re INFj or ENFJ. But as an INFj you could use an enfp, and if you’re enfj like me you do perfect with INFPs.
Help me understand Marty; why did you not simply do this video over. It CAN'T be your best work. It is thoroughly unconvincing. No, you did not do a good job, bud.
Yes. You are right. Reason: I spent the time. I hope one person watches and gets anything positive or the video gets comments that help me or another viewer. Thanks and now I have to do it over again and make it count. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn More power to you! I bet the next will be great!
Hm I still don’t know what malignant means even if I translate it 🙈
Basically means 'bad'
Malignant Narcissism = A person who thinks only of themselves and when they do wrong to others, they will not admit it or say sorry. They feel and think they are above everyone else and will never see their mistakes as mistakes but as actions they needed to take to defend themselves, what they want and their ego / self esteem. I call them: Wrecking Balls. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn thanks :D
You are welcome. - Marty
Evil
Bruv what’s wrong w female INFJs every video u mention one ur like “blech” 😮
I think you are not understanding my point. It is not negative 'on' them as I am I disliking them. It is not that. TYWC - Marty
"the female is the INFJ... not good"... welp
Yep. Not good. TYWC - Marty
Nailed it.
Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
Are you infj ?
Yes. I lead with that type. Please watch other videos of mine and if not sure please maybe look at play lists. TYWC - Marty
Accurate
Thank you. Always trying... TYWC - Marty
Save the young 🥲
You’re doing a huge good, I’ll do this in Arabic.