Everybody Gets What They Need | How to respond when kids say "no fair"
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- This week, Layne and Jess reframe fairness into a more powerful concept: equity, ensuring everyone gets what they need. We offer practical scripts to explain this concept to your child, and discuss how to navigate those inevitable one-toy toddler meltdowns.
This episode dives into:
Why "no fair" complaints emerge around age 3 and how it relates to brain development
Understanding the difference between fairness and equity
Emphasizing that parents' needs matter too in family dynamics
Guiding children through disappointment and unfulfilled wants
Building resilience and empathy in kids by focusing on meeting diverse needs
Communicating effectively with your co-parent about family needs
Prioritizing needs based on your values and current circumstances
Share your thoughts or ask a question -
verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month):
www.verygoodmo...
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne:
www.enquiryco....
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Check out our new store at:
www.verygoodmot...
@verygoodmothersclub
See you on instagram!
@jess_hover
__________________
Baby Products you might like:
Swaddles:
muslin swaddle: bit.ly/2GPOIOu
Baby Clothes:
Mebie Baby (Double zipper/zips from the bottom): bit.ly/315DwE3
Pacifiers:
Pacifier: bit.ly/3gNuQur
Clip: bit.ly/2SRkPzJ
Diapers, Wipes & Shampoo:
Hello Bello Diapers ($15 OFF): hellobello.com....
Car seat:
Uppa Baby Mesa: amzn.to/2RnwyWP
Winter seat cover: amzn.to/2TUl1Q7
Nursing Spot:
Rocking Chair: amzn.to/2P0PKcb
Boppy Pillow: amzn.to/3aBJAY8
Nursing Bra: bit.ly/2H75AQA
Place for the baby to hang out:
Swing: amzn.to/30LYs1I
Bouncer: amzn.to/36mnJAH
Snuggle Me Organics Lounger: bit.ly/340ZIkV
Baby Bed:
Snoo: amzn.to/2tK8Ri8
More affordable bassinet: amzn.to/36idhKl
Baby Newborn Kit:
amzn.to/2sXNwSc
Bottles:
Dr. Browns: amzn.to/36fNVNm
Como Tomo: amzn.to/2GfeNT8
Breast Pump:
Haakaa: amzn.to/2uwlxZW
Portable Electric Pump: amzn.to/36qHQNX
Cheaper Electric Pump: amzn.to/2usof2V
Baby Monitor:
Owlet (Wifi camera): amzn.to/37nNl1h
Eufy: amzn.to/2Y1mr
Nanit: amzn.to/2vkI9xb
Baby Bath: amzn.to/2urtbFe
Griper Water: amzn.to/2NVtX3Z
Stroller: amzn.to/2RkSxgY
Carriers:
Ergo 360 baby carrier: amzn.to/2OJMwc
Ring Sling: amzn.to/2MILDhT
Swado swaddle: amzn.to/2rUYd6Q
Halo sleep sack: amzn.to/2rR4fWe
Zipadeezip: amzn.to/365jhqp
Portable Sound Machine: bit.ly/3rl3teW
Baby Toys: KiwiCo: kiwico.com/jes...
You two never fail to shift my perspective in a healthier direction. You help me let go of unnecessary feelings of guilt and feel empowered to take care of myself. I can't overstate how much you've improved my experience of motherhood. Thank you SO much for everything❤
Agreed!!!❤
You guys are amazing. I am or was the homesteading parent you describe. After a cancer diagnosis being the perfect always-positive cancer patient and health guru became just one more thing to uphold besides saving the world and trying to be the best in every other arena of life.
I was a massive perfectionist and people pleaser with almost no frustration tolerance trying to control every aspect of life around me to protect me from facing anything hard so that I'd never have to own up to not being perfect and actually being pretty controlling, scared, angry, confused and judgemental. I believed to be good you need to be selfless so I had zero boundaries and couldn't ask for what I need. I believed it was selfish to want anything but of course this is just being human. I believed the world should be fair. Why were there so many people with less than me? I'd obsess over the suffering in the world and my inability to change it. But a lot of that were my inner wounds that I didn't even realise were there.
In your earlier podcast when Lane said "I was worried I was the bad thing" I cried because it hit home so hard. I realise now I was the golden child in a very narcissistic and broken family and I'm processing this through therapy. But I would vascillate between over inflated self esteem and incredibly low self esteem based on external feedback. I've been a serial Facebook poster and very opinionated when it comes to parenting.
But although i thought i was doing things so differently it turns out I was parenting the same way I was parented. With a lot of shame and confusing standards. I thought if I just put the right inputs in and stay super consistent out will pop this perfect little human that always does the right thing and never whines and is always kind. When he was good I loved him and when he made choices I didn't like I hated him. And I'm sure he felt that. That is not real love but idealisation and shame was the only kind of love I knew.
Through therapy, your wonderfully honest vlogs, some great TedTalks and some empathy and grace from myself I'm learning to really love myself in all my messy human-ness, to love others in theirs and to love the full of zest little human that is my son.
We are learning patience and perseverance and being OK with making mistakes together and it feels so good to have the weight lifted. I feel a connection to him that I didn't have before. I used to blame him because I felt he brought out the worst in me, but now I'm so thankful that he made me face the parts of me I couldn't love and realise it's OK. I'm so much less triggered and even though I'm still going to mess up sometimes without the shame attached it's easier to calm down, own up and repair.
Thank you for your honesty. I always pick up really helpful perspectives from you guys ❤
Wow, this is so tender and beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing your story. I relate so deeply to so much of what's here. So happy the podcast has been helpful to you. And so happy we're connected. - Layne
@@Enquiry_co Thanks Layne :) Keep shining your light and congratulations on your new job!
Thank you ladies! 😊
YES. This was so damn helpful. thank you both!
It’s like you knew thats my 3 year olds new favorite sentence. 😂
Are just realized something… are you guys sponsored? And if not, what?!??? 🤯