I WAS OUTED AS TRANS (AND HE TOLD THE INTERNET MY BIRTHNAME LOL) | NOAHFINNCE
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- HELLO I WAS OUTED AND HE TOLD THE INTERNET MY BIRTHNAME WHICH WASN'T VERY NICE BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE !!!
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BTW! IT WASN’T EITHER OF THE DYLANS THAT I WAS FRIENDS WITH! WE’RE STILL GOOD!
GOOD!
also,
My experience:
So just a few weeks ago, this guy from the @roomieofficial discord server just... he just told everyone my fucking birthname, he knew my birthname as i had told him out of idioticness, it was late, i was tired and i just told him, even then i told him not to tell anyone...
Next day i come back to discord with about 20 messages all from different people asking about my birthname and it fucking sucked..... whats worse? This dude was pansexual-
NoahFinnce I 💖💙🤍💙💖 your vids
@@paulmccharmley184 read the comment again, it's not roomie
This may be unpopular, BUT....he would not have apologized to you, if he didn't feel the same way about your online friendship. He hurt you, he broke yr trust and fractured your friendship into irreparable bits. Heres the thing, he went out of his way to apologise to you. Do you think he would have done so, if he didn't care about how he hurt you. You may not want him in your life and you may hate him for his actions, but give him credit....he SCREWED UP. No one is perfect. Stop hating him, start forgiving him and move on mentally. You dont have to like him or trust him again to accept his apology, just as long as it was sincere. I talk out of experience, I hurt someone a few yrs back, I didn't mean to, I tried until I was blue in the face to apologise, but all I got was silence, I was ghosted completely. I see this person around sometimes and all I get is a nasty look. Its so horrible to live with a regret that you can never really undo or fix. The person I liked, now hates me, I have to live with the consequences of hurting someone I never wanted to hurt. To be wronged by someone as you have hurts, but equally in my experience at least, it hurts more to not be forgiven by the person you hurt. If I could go back in time myself, I would fix my mistake, not for my benefit only, but so I never hurt that person ever in the first instance. The person I hurt will never understand how much I respect them still. I foolishly messed up, this person can only think I disrespect them and its simply not true. Theres a saying to forgive and forget. It's the only way to heal mental wounds. TRUST ME. We all mess up. At least I do as I'm NOT perfect. Find it in your heart to forgive him. Draw a line under it. Then move forward with your life. HAPPILY.
@@prideofmanny2981 Omg thats so sad. That guy cant even call himself a Roomie fan, Roomie is such a kindhearted person and how can anyone call themselves a fan of his but then do something so fucking cruel to not just another human being, but someone from the same fandom as you, like I will never understand ppl
"why would i give somebody access to the person who knows my birth name" omg REAL
Oh hi:)
period
Ah shit the trump ads are back
MILES!
Mood
Getting some mad scientist vibes with that hair (no hate)
He’s channeling his inner Einstein
The white vest too lmao
Looooove the hair 😍😍😍
honestly
Yeah 😂
I read the title and i dont like that
my "friend" kept telling everyone at school I was trans before I was out. the thing is I didn't even tell her, she just thought I was because I "wore boy clothes"
You need to ditch them cuz they seem TOXIC, I'm sorry they outed you too :(
@@kyramonday9141 yeah I did, luckily no one really caught on, but after I came out a few years later, she kept saying I told you so which was really annoying
That's a bad friend, you deserve better🥺
@@rivermcd oof she sounds a bit mean but at least you were partially able to come out on your own!
I'm so scared about that tbh, im sorry you had to go through that
Being outed suuuuuucks. My "bff" told everyone at my school I was bi before I was ready.
That happened to me too
I used to think I was bi so I told one of my friends (she was pan and I thought I could trust her) then a couple days later someone who I wasn’t friends with asked me if I was bi and she said that my friend had told her.
Oml, same. Now I'm way deeper into the closet to family members about being lesbian ✌
@@BBlueGirl 👏
@@midnightdiamond9709 my friend that outed me said they were pan too
That's a bad friend, you deserve better🥺
So off topic, but love the lightning. Gives off a cozy, home-y vibe.
Unrelated but ding ding ding, top of morning
hello I don't care about lighting
Right the lighting looks so cool! The lighting gives me sunset vibes!
Same
+
Same but I feel like Evan Edinger is triggered LOL
I’m not trans, but god this makes me so mad, I don’t understand but I stand with you. Honestly it makes me sick that people still out people. One of my closest friends outed me and my best friend to her Mormon mom and I felt to uncomfortable after, it’s not a great feeling
I completely relate. I’m not trans, but I don’t use gender specific pronouns. I have a cousin who is trans though, and if anyone outed him i would personally find them and they would regret it. For everyone out there who has a trans family member or friend, please, please be sure to have their backs. :)
Moon I remember when some guy I knew from primary school (elementary???) tried to out my best friend as trans and tell people his deadname. I came so close to punching him but I managed to solve the issue in a better way thankfully
@@elliptical6957 had I been there and understood what was happening I wouldn't have helped you if you decided you wanted to punch him but I certainly wouldn't prevent it.
MythLover Dragon Thank you 😂 If I’m honest he’s done a lot of rather bad things so I don’t think anyone else would’ve tried to stop me either 😅
you don't need to be trans to know this is wrong
i love the lighting it feels like bedtime stories with noah
BADtime stories (though lighting gives it special atmo)
im laughing so hard rn, this is what i was thinking during the whole vid.
“Five year old shirtless on a beach” my childhood in a nut shell
mood. i always cried if i had to wear a shirt anywhere as a kid because my brother was allowed to be shirtless and thats just what little boys could do.
@@gayfield420 bro same. I'd run around without a shirt until my mom forced it on me
@@no-uw1gs god.... i think we are transed gendered....
@@gayfield420 yes
I was never shirtless as a child and I regret not doing that because it sounds great and now I can’t do it until I get top-surgery :(
Can someone actually explain to me why you would out someone, like what.
Yes excacly like WHAT WAS THE REASON
It Is What It Is I’m honestly trying to understand like does it bring them joy or something
I’m pretty sure the reason is clout.
But I don’t understand why someone would want to get clout through outing someone like, i’d rather have no social media than having thousands of followers because I put someone else in such a horrible light, *especially* when it’s a friend
Spite? Bigotry? I honestly have no idea
Right?? It’s so dangerous to out someone!!
I just have the odd friends who tell people that I'm trans, like "so he used to be "blank", but now he goes by Marc" and then expect a metaphorical cookie from me. Which results in drunk people approaching me and wanting to talk about that topic, which I try to politely shut down, but once they are sober, they'll say that's the one topic I can talk about. The logic in that
And.....are you okay with that? I mean personally I wouldn’t be okay with my friends just outright saying my birthname and telling someone I’m trans.
@@tylerberrington4928 I'm not okay with that, I told them but they knew me pre transition so I think it's a habit. But recently it got better. The best scenario is when I'm around people who know me. Unfortunately I just started hormones last week, so it's still kind of necessary to at least say that I'm trans, just the dead-naming is extremely unnecessary.
They do make an effort though, those are the people I don't want to cut out of my life. Also, they never actually dead-name me when I'm around, just sometimes when introducing me. They mean well
Congrats on starting hormones ☺️
@@PaigeRob222 thank you!!
じろう Jirou
my dad did the same thing after i came out- he acted so nice and accepting until a week later i was at his house and he kept mocking me, insulting my intelligence, and implied i was seeking attention (im VERY introverted lol), and when i cut contact after fighting with him about it, he kept harassing me via text all the while claiming he was accepting & i was just a snowflake ❄️
really sucks when that happens with anyone but especially when it’s family, sorry your mom is like that 🙃
It’s feels really good to see another trans person talk about this. I’ve always thought I’ve been overreacting but it really fucking hurts to be outed and to have someone else tell people you birth name without your permission. I go by a different name now than I’ve had since I was a kid, and for some reason all of my family thinks it’s okay to tell everyone my deadname and show pictures of me pre- coming out . I can’t explain the feeling but it’s absolutely mortifying to say the least. If you’re not trans, please listen to me when I ask you to never ask a person for their deadname or, if you already know it, divulge to others.
When I was 14 I was put into Foster care in the middle of Coventry. I grew up in a village and that was the first time no one knew everything about me so I got brave, binded my chest and what not and started trying to befriend some of the local teenagers. For 2 months they thought I was cis, I'd hang out with the boys and do typical stuff teens boys did in the 90's (yes I'm old so sue me 🤣). All went well and the one lad that knew I was cis (because he was related to my Foster carer) didn't mention I was biologically female to the others. Well.... I got quite close to one of the girls, a little to close for the lad who turned out to be a raging homophobe. One night he outed me to a group of 25-30 City Council estate raised teenage boys. Coventry residents aren't exactly the most accepting type. Shitting my self doesn't even begin to cover it. I was moved to a different Foster care home the next day as things got quite out of hand.... So yeah there's my story. I was known as Evan at the time but I changed my name by deed poll some years ago to Hunter. Shit happens dude, just keep looking forward and you'll be sweet as a nut 👍
I feel you, I didn't grow up in 90's Coventry, but I've been called all sorts of things walking down the street purely because they thought I was gay. It's horrible that someone would out you like that and I'm so sorry it had to happen to you. Unfortunately, I don't think Coventry plans on changing any time soon. Plus hey, name twins :D
@@hunteroneill665 cheers dude :) some people just don't get it and it did initially completely screw with my head and at that time it didn't matter where I went I was bullied for something. Just unlucky I guess. Hunter is an awesome name though 👍😁
Fellow person from coventry here👋 I am so sorry someone outed you like that and honestly this is the main reason that I don't want to tell people. I wish people would all just be accepting of everyone, and I hope this changes for future teenagers
Jesus, that sounds tough. I’m in my late teens in 2020 where the world is generally more accepting and I still can’t be out. Proud of you for getting through it, inspiring to me as a young guy!
HOLY SHIT!!! I'm your age & even though I don't live in a really conservative place, & my friends & I supported "gay rights" (as it was called), NO teenagers I knew came out as gay, let alone trans! I cannot IMAGINE how awful & difficult that would've been- it's still not easy for LGBT+ people today, but bloody hell it's improved! My friend's teenage son is trans & I'm so happy he felt able to come out that young. (His family & friends are wonderful too.)
Here in Sweden, the name Noa without the H is still a “boy-name”.
Same here in Finland too
Ja det stämmer ju faktiskt!
Yup for the most part
Noah with H is a boy name in Germany too
Noa with "H" and without, both are male in germany.
That’s literally SO awful. I can see why you have some trust issues now.
I am in this whatsap group of teen trans kids that live in my town, we occasionally have meet ups which is like so epic! But one time we had a meet up and my mom was still getting used to my name (she literally hadn't gotten it right once) and ended up dead naming me in front of my new trans friends, I could just feel the collective empathy
@@sagethemage6576 ikr
@@sagethemage6576 lmao good idea 😂
Sage the mage ILL BE YOUR TRANS FRIEND
@@sagethemage6576 yes, oh my!
@@sagethemage6576 also great username
Cis people also don't understand that releasing a trans person dead name/outting them is a safety issue. A friend of mine was outted by his partner at the time and his mom wound up finding out and beating the hell out of him. Legal action was taken on his mom but still
Kayden Widmer oh we understand it’s dangerous. I’m pretty sure that’s why some cis people out trans people. Because they want to put them in harms way
@ I mean yeah...
Agreed,I was called a bully for not wanting to be called by my dead name. I've also had people who got offended when I wouldn't tell them what my dead name is
0:18 pretty much every year is the same year in my brain I have a horrible memory and can’t tell time
the adhd mood
Samee
2017? 2013? idfk man
Meee 😂 i think I was 15/16 like last year (I’m 20)
Same
I had a coworker who loudly announced my transness at the office in the middle of the day , everyone was super cool about it though but I would have appreciated having been able to do it on my own terms,, said coworker didn't get the reaction she wanted and I got recognition and respect so idk man they aren't my favorite person
the lighting makes it feel really chill n gives me triggerwarningrat vibes
When I was in sixth grade, a girl I liked(A) to told me that she was bi. I was really excited because now I knew that there was someone just like me, so I told my best friend(B). I didn’t think that B would tell anybody. But she told all of A’s friends. A was super upset and I was so ashamed that I never even owned up to outing her or apologized. Thankfully, now A is thriving and out and proud. But this is literally the worst thing I’ve ever done and I hate myself for it. If anyone ever outed me I don’t know what I’d do.
Don't *hate* yourself- you were, like, 11 or 12, & you didn't mean hurt your friend- you thought you could trust your other friend. It wasn't good, & you can't un-do it, but you've realised it wasn't good, & now feel sorry for doing it, so you care about people. You won't do that again, & you'll probably be a good support to other LGBT+ people. I'm NOT saying it's ok to out people; just that you were a kid & you've learned from it :)
That’s absolutely horrible, why would someone do that, even if it was a joke
I get jokes and taking the piss but there is a line. Outing someone is NEVER ok in my opinion
Abigail Wilkinson Yeah
Plot twist - maybe the other person was secretly in love with Noah and got super offended because Noah rated the singing a "-4" and humiliated him in front of everyone who would always ship them... It crushed their heart so much so that person was like "well you know what, I don't like you either" and hurt Noah in the biggest way they could think of. really shitty and scumbaggy, but hey, ppl crushing in the young age of hormonal teenage years do really HORRIBLE shit when they feel rejected (even if it wasn't really rejection, they just took it that way). Especially because the part of them telling other people "oh i was just using them" that's SOOOOO something you'd say about someone you feel rejected you in public.... Doesn't validate it, or forgive it by any means, but yo what if
Ig wad a joke is a lame excuse .. they just gossiped
@@ruumuur damn u over here writing fanfic lmao
That's terrible, like how does someones head go "yes, this is what i should do"?! Also low-key vibing to the lighting 👌
Love the comment, the name and pfp make it x100 better 😂
Mr Edinger be looking at the lighting in this video and crying
I’m cis so I’ll never truly understand how triggering it can be to have your birth name released, hearing your birth name etc. can be but I’m sorry that happened clearly that guys a jerk.😕
I can’t be the only person whose not trans but still understands the pain, and breach of privacy right?
But it’s not just the breach of privacy. It’s the dread, when your heart drops and you’d rather combust than live another second. Like fuck, what now
Escapetheboxes: yea I have had moments like that but your right
I actually like the lighting...
Same i-
Me too, It looks more "natural"
Same lol
I’m bi but my grandparents are Christian so I didn’t tell them and I was fine with that but my own cousin outted me
SPOILER ALERT: People who claim to be Christian but act in ways that are judgemental, unkind, and hurtful? THEY AREN'T ACTUAL CHRISTIANS.
Wow what a terrible cousin
Digimon fan I don’t class him as family no more
Truthat it’s upsetting I know
dr103 I didn’t mean it to come across that way I’m apology’s just my personal experience xx
That's such an unnecesary awful thing to do
I cannot relate to this at all but the pain in your eyes when you're talking to this makes me feel genuinely sorry for anyone who is deadnamed.
I am really forgetful and I know few trans people who are my close friends who I knew before they transitioned and on my low spoon days I still call them by their dead names and apologize instantly as I realize I fucked up when I see their face. It's not easy to always remember but I cannot even fathom the pain some people go through when this happens.
People at school outed me as Bi to everyone before I was even close to ready and that sucked, but it's probably nowhere near as close to the pain a deadname gives you. Xx
i was outed last year and the girl who outed me is always asking me “what happened to our friendship? i miss u” and i’m like bro u outed me tf do u mean
I am not trans but whenever I see deadname jokes and threatening to out people I will stand up to for them, I know that dead names bring back traumatic and uncomfortable times, I never ask a trans, non-binary, genderfluid etc about their deadname, if they want to tell me they can but I would NEVER tell anyone what it is or remind them.
Chill Toad do you want to screw of or?
This is why I'm waiting to come out, I'd rather tell everyone at once than trust someone and they out me to my friends/family. It's something I want to do on my own terms (clearly I have trust issues lol)
Hope it goes well 🤍
*on my own terms
Sorry for correcting you, its a douche thing to do but I said one of those misheard sayings to friends and got taken the piss out of so I try to let people know if they're doing the same thing
Good look for when you decide to come out though, that decision should never be taken away from someone
@@myopidodi3058 Thanks mate, I was in a hurry and didn't pay attention lol Thanks as well for the support, it really is appreciated 😊
@@MystFox1314 thank you! 😊🖤
@@myopidodi3058 You are very respectful and I appreciate it. :) Ps: I hope everything goes well for you Styles!
Yeah I'm a gay guy and I was also outed by a gay guy after he flirted with me for days and then I asked him out and he was like lol I'm straight and then he outed me to everyone in my year. It was awful, he makes me sick every time I am around him, I don't want anything to do with this person anymore whatsoever. I'm mad at my classmates as well because they kept outing me for weeks before lockdown to other people, it was dreadful, and we never spoke about it and I regret very much not standing up for myself
i remember when this happened bc he requested loads of people in the spam community including my spam account so i feel bad that i know your deadname etc :(
it may have actually been a different account? either way anyone who does that has few morals :( you should never ever post photos or the birthname of any trans person that's just not on at all
@@rozreallyreads wish we knew who this was ☹️ I know why we don’t but I just wanna 🤜👨🦲
@@ryleetrueblood665 same 👊👊👊👊
I think I remember this happening actually... but my memory is so bad I don’t remember who it was at all so... couldn’t tell people if I wanted to lmao
But honestly that’s such a messed up thing to do and I completely understand why you didn’t want to read his “apology”
honestly!! same omg i can't remember who he is at all but i remember when this went down.
As a cis straight male I can’t imagine how soul destroying your experience must have been. All trust must have gone straight out of the window. The closest I can equate to is when someone outed me for my alcoholism. Fortunately over my 25 years of sobriety I’ve been very open about it and the boss I was outed to was well aware of the fact so that bounced back at her. It actually bounced back two fold because we worked in a field where client confidentiality was paramount.
i’m trans and, often, thinking about my past feels like someone just pierced me with a dagger. it’s such a personal and intimate part of me and i don’t understand why others don’t respect that it’s up to me about if, when, and how much of my past i decide to share.
At work...an old "friend" missgendered me and deadnamed me in front of new klients... after 4 years out and 3 years on T.. and this "friend" didnt let it go..no she managed to tell things like:"when she was a woman..back then she was blabla..." 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Of course the guy who outed you is now a tiktokker🤷♂️
That's why I don't go on tik tok.🤮🤮🤮
Lil jdhc LGBT (also known as gay) TikTok is a thing and they're great
I'm on gay tiktok, It's not bad
@@MystFox1314 but noah said the guy is gay so his posts would probably be on the lgbt tiktok side...🙄
He’s probably on straight tiktok 🤨
Just because someone is gay doesn't make them a trans ally, especially not if they pull this shit. As a cis white gay guy myself, I am trying to be a better ally to nb and trans folks.
Thanks for sharing this, I hope you're feeling better now! This whole pandemic thing breeds depression, so I get the whole thinking about this out of nowhere thing. I hope talking about it helps dealing with the lingering trauma of this experience. ♡
What’s the need to know someone’s birth name like geeezzz
I agree like he has a name you can use ... it’s not like anybody needs to now for any reason
Lucy Martin exactly we know him as noah always have and always will what will a birth name change it’s just people being nosy
It’s not like they arnt telling you there name his name is Noah not whatever his dead name is
Like...it’s called a “dead” name for a reason. It’s not their name anymore. It’s like asking someone who changed their name for really personal reasons what their name was. It’s personal...you don’t need to know
I don't know, I think is just curiosity.
Is not wrong to want to know peoples birthnames. But to ask or insist is.
I won't ask them. If we are close friends and they want to share, great. But if they don't, I'll just live with it.
I've heard you talk about your birth name before a few times and I just wanna say that after hearing this story I'm so proud of you for owning it and being so confident about it now.
You're so brave for opening up about your story not just here but in all your videos and I think it's really respectful that you're not "outing" this dude as a dickhead because it just emphasises the compassion you have for others and even though he hurt you really bad you don't want him to go through the same kinda hate that you went through.
I think tough experiences mature us faster and help us grow in a good way even though it's super difficult to get through them at the time.
I really admire you, you're wise beyond your years and that's not something you can say for many "influencers" these days!!
Cis people are so *interested* in knowing someone's deadname. Every time I have to tell someone that my friend N. is trans (he's out, I've got his permission to tell people) they ask "oh, so he was a girl before? What was his name then?"
Like why would you care about that. What would you need that name for. I don't get it
Martjna I’m cis but I don’t care about people’s dead names, but a lot are for some reason.
It's natural curiosity and it has nothing to do with being "trans" if anyone has obviously changed their name it is absolutely normal human behave to ask or wonder what that name use to be.. Anyone who claims they aren't curious and they don't wonder are just flat out liars trying so hard to look trans accepting that they don't even posses normal human curiosity. And had you not already known your friends prior name you as well would wonder the very same thing. And stop pretending you are not using your "trans" friend (who im sure isn't even trans but just a normal 14 year old girl trying desperately to fit in by making claims of being trans) as a token.. You love having a "trans" friend so that you can squeeze your way into "trans allie" you kids are so lost its hopeless lol. Being a victim or part of a """"victimized"""" group 😌 is not cute. Your generation needs to let this victim complex go.
@@cortneycline3619 1) we're both in our twenties
2) I'm not using my trans friend in any way, we were classmates and best friends for years before he came out so I simply remained friends with him after he transitioned
3) I don't need trans friends to be an ally, I just need a brain and respect for other people
4) I don't give a shit about trans people's old names. They're not on this earth to satisfy my "human curiosity". Using deadnames is disrespectful and sure as hell I'm not going to ask for them
Cortney Cline I have seen you pop up in the comments and I am wondering why you watch Noah’s video’s? To me it doesn’t seem like you agree with Trans people and their experiences all that much. Just to be clear: I don’t mean to attack you in any way.
@@cortneycline3619 and yet no one ever asks celebrities their 'real' name even though most change their name. if you don't want to know the 'real' name of a well-known actor or musician, yet you want to know the deadname of a trans person. that isn't curiosity, that's transphobia.
i cant imagine how horrible being outed would be, stay strong and f*** lighting
Damnnnnn I’m sorry to you and everyone else who’s been outed :/ it sounds awful :(
The year after I came out at school, I was going by Flynn but it was taking forever to get my name legally changed and the school refused to change it in the system otherwise. My birth name was being displayed everywhere; on attendance sheets, on canvas (the school software), and displaying in large letters on the school computer whenever I logged in (I was in a technology class at the time and we used computers often in other classes, so it happened multiple times a day). Whenever I had to collaborate on google docs or online discussion posts, my birth name was displayed for all too see and on multiple occasions a substitute ended up calling out my birth name and I just froze. It’s super degrading and debilitating to hear or even read your birth name anywhere, especially when you’ve just come out. I don’t cis people understand how much power it has.
I'm cis so yes, i don't (and probably never will) fully understand what is like but i try my best. Reading your comment made me think about this person i had some classes with at uni and the fist day of one of them they introduced themselves with a nick name people often use for males ( "dude" or "boy" would be the closer translation, the word is a slang from the contry so i don't really know), since the teacher had ask to introduce ourselves with what we'll like people to call us (ex: your first or second name, your last name or a nick name). That teacher was really cool so it went great in that side, but it was like "the confimation" that they didn't identified themselves as female which was their "cis gender" (is that what you call it? I'm not sure so corret me if im wrong) but since I never associated with them (bc im shy lol) i never really had confirmation if they were nb or trans (not my bussines tbh but that's why I'm using they/theirs) but i knew that they didn't liked their birth name at least so every time when we shared classes and the teachers (not all classes and not all teachers but i feel that even one is enough in situations like this) said they birth name I felt really uncomfortable and bad for them, but also annoyed at the teachers because it wasn't necessary to used that name, they could just used their last name so why don't do it ???
Anyway, i guess i'd never know why the teachers didn't try harder to be inclusive, to be NICE. But I just wanted to share because your comment made me think about it and about my mom telling me to refer to this classmate with a nickname as they asked (i felt awkward using the one they told the teacher bc thought it was to causal since we weren't friends, again im shy lol) and also her learning about nb identity and neutral pronouns (we don't have many options on spanish for that so i told her about how in english you can use they/their to be neutral) and i wanted to mention it to give a little hope that some of us cis are trying to understand and not be assholes (bc their is no needdd).
So yeah, sorry you had a hard time and i hope is better now. Thank you for educating me through your comment. Have a good day, Flynn!
My mom outed me. It was terrible, so I’m sorry that happened to you.
i’m so sorry that happened to you! i hope things are/will get better about situations like that 🥺
same here she just posted it to her facebook a few hours after I came out saying she "supported me" and stuff which was supposed to be a good thing I guess I just felt weird when my grandparents awkwardly were like "that's... greaaaaat... " and when people were congratulating me and stuff. I'm glad I'm in a mostly accepting community but I don't like people assuming I'm crazy for coming out so early when I didn't mean to.
I was gonna come out to my dad's friends but every single person I tried to come out to said that dad already came out to them for me and I was like what- . Like I literally didn't get to come out to alot of people, he took that experience away from me when I wasn't even ready to come out to them.
In my opinion, what was done is unforgivable. Five years later & the pain of that experience can be heard in your voice. You are wise not to name the offender - he does not deserve another moment of your life. Continue to be true to yourself. Namaste.
I like the lighting. Looks more natural tbh
It’s always interesting hearing stories from your spam account days because I was only like 13 back then and followed you and so I just sit here trying really hard to remember your old posts that have to do with the story
Noah without the lighting is kinda a vibe.
That one dislike is him
Lol😅
Those thirty-five dislikes are him
Maisie Rose yeah he created separate accounts to dislike the video, I’m certain
I actually love the lighting in this video, it gives it so much ambience n it makes it like refreshing and more intimate like we’re really hangin’ out and just chillin’ in ur room
Noah: oop lighting is bad folks
me: *is absolutely in love with how this video looks*
right? i this this lighting looks so pretty its so warm and cozy i love it
It makes me feel like I'm sat in the room with him and he's talking to us in person
That's utterly despicable! I'm cis, so I can't understand the pain, but this made me SO FUCKING ANGRY! I don't believe in violence, but if I did... Sharing any secrets online is vile, but outing a teenager as trans when they're not out irl is breathtakingly cruel- you could literally put their life in danger, or pretty much ruin their life.
And not naming this asshole is admirable- you're not descending to his level. You're saying outing people online is wrong, so you're not outing him as an asshole. Good for you, Noah :)
When I changed my name at 16, I wanted to keep it a little secret from my family members at first. I just told my parents and brother. When I was 18, I was out to mostly everyone but I had never told my relatives that I was trans. They just knew via facebook that I changed my name. I talked to my parents about wanting to come out to my relatives and my dad literally said to me “There’s no need, we told everyone when you were 16 so they know already” and when I asked why they did that, he said “it would have been worse if they heard it from someone else like a neighbour or something” so yeah, I never got to come out to my relatives
oof, i feel you, someone outed me to my transphobic parents...
I'm so sorry, I doubt it helps but I hope Ur ok now
im so sorry
:((
that sucks and im so sorry, I hope things have gotten better 💗
When I was a freshman in high school, I truly thought I was a lesbian but at the time I was dating a boy. The way I decided to come out to him and end out relationship, knowing that he normally would be understanding and was accepting of the LGBT community, was through a picture that stated I was a lesbian, and I wrote to him that I could no longer be in a relationship with him because of it. He decided to take that picture and send it to everyone on hit phone, including personal friends of mine who at the time were not accepting, outing me to everyone I knew. Luckily it wasn't to any of my homophobic family members.
I now identify as a Straight Trans Male.
When he said his deadname was triggering and stuff, I felt that, if my friends that knew me before I came out ever outed me like that, I don't know what it'd do. When I'm at home and my family deadnames me or misgenderes me, I cringe every time and they don't understand what it feels like, I've been out to my mom and my siblings for over a year and they kind of pretend it's not a big deal but they "Support me" 🤦♂️ I came out to my friends like 3 and a half years ago and they immediately started calling me Ash and using male pronouns
Friends are the universe's way of apologising for family
"He has a following..."
So James Charles
Edit: this is a joke.
Actually no, I don’t think so.. this was way too early for James. I think I know who it is but, Noah doesn’t want any drama. Let’s respect that
@@anapajarito20 I was joking
They are both gay....
And transphobic.....
🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤯
@@thunderusnight james isn't transphobic..?
@@black-nails I didn't really follow the controversy but my friend told ne that basically he was making transphobic comments so I just made a comment off of what I knew.
omg i remember this happening! I was also part of the insta spam ‘community’ in 2015 and i was so angry w this particular person. I cant imagine having something that awful happening, let alone whilst having an online following. you seem a lot more confident though, and i’m so glad ur doing well!
why is everyone talking we havent even watched the full thing ubesuibfpwiag
I can’t imagine someone outing me before I’m ready, sorry this happened to you :(
Noah, that wasn't a friend of yours. They were playing you
and this is exsactly why I hold my cards VERY close to my chest, you really can't trust that many people.
Especially about very personal stuff like gender and religion
the amount of times i was told deadnames of people i don't know by their "friends" as a reaction to me coming out as trans. "my friend is also trans, her name was **** but now she's a guy" or something along those lines
That's ridiculous. How do they not know better FFS?
@@AlxMar5 yeah, one time someone told me "she just had her top surgery" and i'm like internally screaming and not feeling safe around her, also i didn't even come out to her, she just clocked me and told me this without me asking. fun times
ahhh being outed my favorite high school experience. people started calling me bi before I even started using the label it was wonderful ha ha
Can sorta relate. A "friend" told my parents I was trans, behind my back and without permission. I still absolutely hate her for it. Her reasoning was "Your mum was worried and thought you were being bullied." Idc what her intention was. I don't feel I can trust another soul because of what she did.
Hey Noah can u make a video reacting to ur coming out vid!?
Also this is the first time I've ever been early😂
The only family member I told was my mum and she told everyone else, it’s so annoying because now none of my family talk about it and pretend it’s not a thing because I never told them personally, but I don’t see the point because they already know and clearly none of them care enough to actually ask me
I told a friend at school I was bi and told them I’d tell everyone soon and told them not to tell anyone. When I came out my friends told me that the night I told her she told them all. I was so angry but I couldn’t confront her because I was in front of teachers and I had only told my friends yet. She also had made transphobic comments when I came out as ftm and triggered a lot of disforia. Then later she came out as trans ftm and said I copied her and told everyone I wasn’t trans even though I had been trans for a year before she “came out”. I’m not one to decide someone’s gender but I think she’s doing it for attention and to hurt me. Due to many reasons I’d rather not spend typing out. Eg. Not wanting to change with me and other ftm, saying transphobic things even after coming out and saying she has no disforia and generally not caring or trying to socially transition. I know these aren’t all valid reasons to think someone’s lying but all together it’s quite odd. (By the way I’d never say this to them or say anything at school because that would be cruel but I do have my opinion based on how they treated me) thanks
Kinda sounds like Trisha paytas
Paige Roberts omg yes just the person I know tries to act all edgy and cool
Randall Paquet yeah haha
Why do people be mean sometimes why can’t everyone just let everyone be
i don’t understand why people even want to know ur birth name it’s not even relevant it makes ZERO sense
Frrr why do people cear soo much like tff😂😂
he’s actually said it before in a video but still yeah it’s weird. very obsessive thing.
My reasoning is I have multiple trans friends of different variety and I kinda wanna find what names are similar enough to be an easier transition but not too close. I'm mostly doing it out of helpfulness but I do have a tiny part of my brain where I'm curious about it but I respect trans people enough to not ask but if it's mentioned I do get slightly curious.
Are curious but its just disrespectful
I remember this happening when I followed you on IG waaaaay back in the day. It's like a power game for a deeply insecure person who wants someone else to feel like shit
Lighting?
Who cares we go to your channel for you!
Thanks for talking about this Noah. This video brought me some mental clarity and a lot of comfort after recently going through a similar situation. :)
When I was 14 I was outed as a lesbian to the entire school by a "friend" who I trusted enough to tell. 8 years later I dont trust anyone enough to tell them anything personal and I'm still terrified of being outed as trans at some point in the future bc I want to be stealth
One of my friends outed me on facebook for an argument where she was being transphobic, she also knew that I didn't want to come out and couldn't because of my home situation
i didn’t realize how long i’ve been following you until you said this was five years ago. i only vaguely remember this happening, but i do remember noot and the spam community. time is weird. (before anyone asks, no i don’t remember who it was and even if i did i wouldn’t tell anyone)
I've never really been "outed", at least not with my family, but once I was with an ex friend + some other friends at the skating rink. A girl came up to where we were sitting, saying she could "smell the gay." We talked for a bit, introduced ourselves, and my ex friend mentioned that I'm "ftm." (I dont like using that term to describe myself because it implies that I identified as f which I never have) She immediately went off on me saying I was a g, I looked like a g, and other stuff (sorry for censoring feminine words, when they're used in context of myself I get extremely uncomfortable so I censor them). I started shaking really bad. One of my other friends mentioned that she had to use the bathroom. I decided to go with her, to get away from there, although I just waited outside till she came out. When she did she noticed I wasnt doing alright and sat beside me. She held my hand to try to help me stop shaking, it didnt help but I appreciated the gesture. That went on for about an hour. Once we had left the skating rink I was able to calm down a bit.
But anyways, yea that's my "outing" experience
On another note, this ex friend often told people we just met that I'm "ftm" or "trans" which I really didnt like. I want people to see me as a cis guy. I dont want them to think otherwise, cause that really can change peoples perspective on you. So, it really bothered me when this friend would just easily mention this part of me that I saw as really personal. At the time we were fairly close friends though so I let it slide. Since then they have made some poor choices and became quite toxic, so me + some other friends decided it was best to leave them. I wasnt happy about it, but we all collectively decided it was right for us and right for them.
Stories like yours make me so sad and angry and they make me want to be a friend to trans people because I'd never out anyone like that. It's cruel and unnecessary and opens the door for harassment which you experienced a clear example of.
My mom was livid when I came out as trans and outed me to my whole family and to my dad, who I was exited to tell myself. But then she told him and he felt that I favored her over him. Even though it's the other way around. (They're divorced so everything is a competition between them)
I don’t understand how someone could just , out a friend . Like that’s personal. If someone outed me I would feel naked , exposed even. I cannot think of how much it would hurt to put the trust and faith into a friend to the point where they know my sexuality and know that I trust them with it . I’m glad you two don’t talk anymore and I’m glad that you have managed to bury the shit he brought out into the open.
This one person that goes to my school knows I'm trans, and I really shouldn't have told them. I didn't know that they're one of those salty people who will out you if you make them upset, so I messed up... I told them about it because they're bigender and we were friends, so I thought they'd understand that outing people is wrong, but now I realize that they might do that specifically because they know it'll hurt me. Living in a small town in the South makes everything worse, and coming out could be potentially dangerous...
Long story short, they will probably use that information as blackmail if I do anything that upsets them. I have to be friends with them or else they'll get angry and out me. Fun time, right?
Only my sister and my best friend knows, so it'll be a huge shock for everybody else, especially my ex boyfriends, who deffinetly won't react well... I'm scared to go back to school this fall.
Im so sorry you are afraid of this whole situation! I hope nothing ends up happening;( also what is bigender?
i’ve been outed (as a trans guy) before, as well. one of the most hurtful was when i was hanging out with a classmate of mine who was a girl. i was only hanging out with her as a friend; i genuinely had no interest in her romantically. we had gone out for ice cream when this guy she liked (i didn’t know him) either texted or called her and asked what she was doing. she said she was out for ice cream with me, using my chosen name which is clearly a guy’s name, but then followed it up with “but don’t worry. he’s trans.” it was disgusting the way she had to qualify that and, frankly, it’s none of that guy’s damn business. it was super hurtful and demeaning.
I made an Instagram acct under my real name and Instagram decided to send a notification out to all of my contacts... absolutely horrifying. Thankfully not that many people saw before I deleted it, but still, being "outed" before you're ready is so stress inducing. Can't believe another person would have done that to you :(
Being outed is horrible. Especially in schools. I was outed as bisexual wayyyyy before i was ready and i girl whod heard asked if I could get changed in the disabled bathroom. And when i said no she said "But I dont want you being creepy lesbiany near me". I was asked if i couldnt sit next to girls in classrooms. Being outed sucks ass in schools.
I have a... not exactly similar situation, but it was similarly mortifying. My work was doing a raffle give away. Instead of having every single person put their name into a hat or something (it's a grocery store, so it's a LOT of people) they did it digitally. However, the program they took the names from had everyone's legal name... and my name hadn't been changed legally yet.
So, as "luck" would have it, my (dead) name was picked and shouted out for the entire store to hear. Everyone got really quiet and I heard a couple people whispering like,"Who's that?" and, "Wait, that last name, that sounds kinda familiar..."
So I sat there stone-faced, fingers digging into the armrest of the chair I was sitting in, just willing them to set the prize to the side and continue on with the raffle.
Then, I see someone in management's eyes light up and say, "Oh! I know who this is!" and brings it over to me. I'm still panicking and frankly unable to move; when he hands it to me I can't even make eye contact, so he just sets it on my lap.
Everyone is buzzing now, and I feel like I'm having a heart attack, so I get up to walk to the restroom. Away from everyone else, I stopped in the hallway between the two bathrooms and just broke down. I felt like I didn't deserve to go in either, and it was all the more humiliating.
Getting outed, and on such a large scale, is so, so scary.
Good on you for being able to get through that and cutting out such a horrible person!
Um so unrelated but I need to know where this person lives, where they work and how much a baseball bat with nails costs
so do i
i just wanna talk to him completely calmly
@@thatdudealex3269 we can all talk to him... very calmly
Owhh yeah I remember your acc getting taken down back then. It was called SugarDaddyDonald you managed to get up from that loss quickly tho like damn.
I was super tomboy as a kid, mostly around the time I was in year 5-6 and then in year 8 it hit me. I wasn't supposed to be like a boy. I was supposed to wear makeup and dress 'girly' and do 'girly' things. I was only supposed to like boys and only hang out with girls. I came out as trans (ftm) in year 11 and realised what I finally was. I went through so many changes, I was constantly and I constantly trying to find who I was, by dressing in different styles. And none of them ever felt right. I had re-occuring thoughts about being a boy when I was little (my household was very girly or manly) so I conformed. I always wanted to be the boy character when I was a child and even made seperate accounts for online games as a boy. The day I came out, I finally knew I was free from my identity. I feel so much happier now. Genuinely never felt better. I selfharmed for around 3 years straight and was depressed since I didn't know my own identity (probably around year 7) I cried alot. And never thought I would ever get better. The idea was impossible. And here I am, nearly 2 years clean and never felt better. I promise whatever stage in life you are right now. It will always get better. But only if you're willing to change that ✨ Namaste
Why do people have the need to expose things that obviously r gonna bother the other jesus...
I’m sorry this happened to you, Noah. I work with teens and can say for certain that they can be cruel. It’s a shame that you now find it difficult to trust people but those who matter would understand your feelings and privacy. maybe he did think of you as more than a friend and feelings got hurt. Much love.
People think that because I transitioned publicly on this platform, that means they can just out me to anyone and everyone in private. Like most of the world has not seen my videos or tweets. I still want to be able to go to a new bar with my friends and be stealth to strangers.
Wow man that’s tough, sorry you had to go through that 😔 but look at you now 💪🏻😏
I use to be friends with the girl in high school and she was friends with a lot of trans people and whenever she got mad or in an argument she’d dead name them and including me luckily I stop being friends with her because of how shit she was towards people
Don't ever feel like you have to explain yourself, or ramble haha! This is terrible you're an amazing person Noah and show so many young trans the way! x
been following since like uhh 2014 maybe n my memory is so bad all i remember is noot, triggerwarningrat and the two accapella vids u had on ur channel
also the lighting is actually v nice it has this kinda cozy(?) vibe to it