In my opinion, the best way to write poetry, don’t think at first, just start writing, an emotion or feeling will uncover itself and then you can hone in on that feeling or emotion. Never say the emotion you’re thinking about, you can say something like “the birds sing their sorrowful tune”, but never ever state what feeling you have while writing the poem, it constricts it and most of the time it will cause people to not think for themselves and develop their own emotions about the poem. I always write on paper with a trusted fountain pen because that feels the best, but that’s a personal preference. You can write however you like, but I always prefer to have a physical copy in my hand before I put it into an online document. Another thing, it’s a personal preference; however, I prefer not to rhyme and keep it without any given classical format, keep it without rhymes and free form, in my opinion, rhyming every end of every line is rather childish, but to each his own.
Great summary of a solid approach towards the idea of "show, don't tell"! The others are definitely personal preference, so it's good to try everything until you find what feels right for you. I mostly write digitally, but have been experimenting with pen and paper recently as well. Rhymes are definitely something I had the same view on before, but I've been warming up to them as I've experimented over the past few years. There's some fantastic free verse and some fantastic rhyming poetry, both old and new.
If u think rhyming is childish than you are wrong read some poems by great english poets who had used rhyming schemes in their poems that make their poems ever better than a non rhyming poem or a blank verse!!!!! You should know that rhyming poems makes you flow with the things mentioned in the poems and make you understand the content in the poem better than a blank verse or a non rhyming poem !!!!!!
I believe he didn't really mean it, he just don't like rhyming. I do use rhymes, and I'm not offended; rich rhymes (not poor rhymes) give rhythm to the poem, make it fun to read. The absence of rhyme makes the poem more serious, because there are times when you just don't feel like listening to music at all.
My process and suggestions: 1. Write, write, write and write. Eventually will be instinctive and you will feel the need to write. 2. Don't overthink, just write 3. Don't bother with rules and rhymes, just improve de text later 4. Don't judge your quality. Sure you will write bad or boring stuff, but the gems will appear. Poetry it's mining, metal smithing, wood carving, sculpturing, painting. 5. Don't expect to be inspired. Deep inspiration it's rare, but great things can come from the ordinary. Specially inspiration itself.
@@aBlackVixen nope, I wouldn't care to, and to be published in my country is a pain. I just write to myself and a select group of friends. I'm not any good lol
As the sun sets And as flowers bloom As the winds blow Set a time for doom Things may be bright Yet again who knows The brightest angels Have bitter flaws As fire spreads And as volcanoes erupt As the ravens scream This love may not corrupt Not a single wicked scheme Has ever been seen In the hearts of most wicked Love has been I don't even know about this poem i wrote
There's a lot there! Nice use of rhyme, powerful imagery (volcanoes erupt, ravens scream, etc.), good progression. Good areas to focus on would be poetic meter and editing down some of the unrelated excess to really hone in on one specific part that feels most important and powerful to you. Keep at it! :)
All I could say of it is that it's really nice! And you're very imaginative at some places here. But..... Just it's somewhat unclear what you're focusing on ( it's what seems to me 🙄). But nice use of tension and rhyming.
A little acrostic poem (raindrop): Resting on a leaf And going on its final water-slide ride Into the abyss of air. Never saved, never interjected; Doomed, oblivious to doom. Rescued by a thought: Over there will stretch a twig Pulling me up again.
Okay so I used to to write poems with absolutely no experience, so this is currently the first to be written in years: "The hail starts to pitter-patter, And when it hits the ground, It Splitter-Splatters. I run up the Stairs and feel the cold air. I squeal and sing with all my Might, not even an inch of Fright. The thunder roars another way, I hope it lasts another day. Its all Greek to me,when one Dislikes when the black clouds Peek. I sit there hours at a time, Knowing I'll be just fine.." Thoughts? 👀
I myself am not that experienced with poems yet and still am at my beginning phase. So i cannot give you any usefull critique except that I like it. Just continue writing more
Raindrops on a window seal A library at night I yearn for what once was And fear what might I stumble and stutter Trance-like down the hall Led by the candle's light And the voices? They squall. With a feeling inside me, I can't help but wonder Who else might be with me Feeling this thunder? It comes like a wave It roars and it wanes It's no ordinary feeling It's a most desperate pain. It yearns and it hungers For even a piece of that day A day that is perfect In every way. I know that this day can't happen again, But I yearn for it anew Like a chick for it's hen. If ever there was a joy, So terrible, so far It's the joy of hiraeth, As you remember what's gone
To add to your first point, poems that have many images and ideas can synthesise it all together to have one cohesive main idea. For example, roads, cars, spaceships and stars to illustrate the idea of aimlessness: travel without a destination. Although there are many images, they're not in isolation.
Yes, definitely! That would be one of the approaches for keeping more images in, though I think that makes things a bit more complicated simply by virtue of the elements being worked with. Less is easier to start, but eventually more and more can be integrated and meaningfully connected without going overboard.
❝Dejected❞ Isolated. Maybe I was born to be alone. To be in a corner in which I call home. Dark as it may seem, it feels so comforting. The remedy of my illness is unknown, I'm still searching. I feel no sadness, no emotions inside. My heart seems to be void with feelings aside. Isolated. I stay. I sit on my bed while my mind is astray. My notions are on a sick twist, you don't need to know. The things I have in mind is more vigorous than horror shows. Its eating me up, it can never be full. Not until it gnaws my being as a whole. Demons? They ain't real. Just a bunch of delusions. Though I believe the real demon is inside me, causing illusions. Isolated. Yes, that's what I feel. That's what I am, that's how I had lived. Soon I won't be, ain't gonna be lonely. For in the grave, thousands of bones are beside me. Happy, yes you will be soon. If I rest for eternity, I'd escape all the gloom. Crestfallen being, that's how I was known. Might as well also accept if I die in forlorn.
You may not see my lips move Yet I almost scream my heart out Yelling & longing to be heard Yet yielding no audience at all Not that my voice wasn't Loud enough; Just that it was all an act in my mind. Yours truly, Me!
I'm 16 and I write poetry started at age 9 till now I'm still going Imma publish a book one day My advice is just take a pen and paper no need to think nature will do the rest
A million A million reactions A million thoughts A million aches A million questions A million emotions A million sensations A million pains A minute in my head has a million thoughts
This comment didn’t get a million reactions 😟 So I’ll get the ball rolling 🙂🙃🙂 I love the enumeration which at first I thought was a bit tedious but the end explains why it was necessary and it’s beautiful 🤩 However, in my opinion, perhaps you should reconsider the “A million thoughts” as you have repeated the same thing in the last verse 🤷♂️ then again I’m not exactly a poet, at least not yet 😂
Incredibly watchable video... Easy on the eyes, easy on the ears, but HARD ON KNOWLEDGE. I like it. One thing however is that good poetry can exist without tension. In those cases the iceberg ratios are flipped, but the words need to be so on point that they can support the poem on their own, either through humour or sexiness. I would've liked to see the Volta talked about, or "the turn" as some call it... The point in a poem that indicates a dramatic shift in theme E.G happy to sad or perhaps a stark revelation. This adds dimension to the poem, and goes hand in hand with tension. Great work
Thanks for the kind words and positive feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the video :) You're right on both fronts, in terms of the flipped iceberg and the Volta. No time to give most of these topics the time they truly deserve, unfortunately. But I'll make a note of those ideas to return to in future videos. Cheers!
@@NikitaShorikov God bless, and Jesus loves everyone! God sent his Son to die on the cross for us all to save us all from our sins! We have all sinned. :( 😞 😓 He saved us! Hallelujah! Praise his name, for he is the greatest! Check out John 3:16 in the Holy Bible! ❤️🙏✝️💖👑 I love you, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! I love you God!
Been writting poems since I was a kid and learned these things from reading published poets. Well I've been published but nothing major. This is great information.
I only started writing poetry seriously last august when I started my first college poetry course and immediately switched my major (from just fiction to poetry so not a huge jump) when I found how much I loved it. I would sometimes write poems to vent, but the class I took allowed me to see how I could make those into something actually worth a read (by someone other than myself). Bc enrollment is down, they’ve cut the class I would be taking in the fall (so I have to do it in the spring) so I’ve been trying to find ways to continue to grow my skill. I think this was really helpful! It reminded me of some tactics I know but still need to practice and gave me new ones! Thanks so much!
I am a poet and i am 16 years old . I think the best ways to write a poem are 1. Freely Writing without thinking whatever comes in your mind about someone or something Then adding line breaks in them !! 2.You can also use this one reading more and more poetry by different poets and taking a particular theme and crafting it into a poem. THAT'S EASY!!!!! isn't it?
It's kinda cringe but I tried to use the tips in editing the poem to make it more concise and emotive he holds a thorn to his fingertip cheeks glow crimson with an aching grin a pain so great, a boy so fragile he is so thin, a boy with paper bones and a grave he dug himself. standing, rose in hand at the edge on the brink he is alone, empty yet he grins. a wide, joyous grin on a cold, fragile boy blood drips from his fingertip a rose, wilting, thorns and all.
My God. The amount of effort and thought put into this video for a concise explaination is ASTOUNDING. Thank you so much! How does this have so few liikes?
Hi there! I am a Filipino Poet by Heart and starting my career in making Spoken Word Poetries. This video is very helpful to me and I learned a lot from this even in a short period of time. Imitation, Adaptation to Transformation but we should still be the Original. Thank you so much for this video. :)
I didn’t follow any rules i just started writing and this is what came out Emerging From the shadow Darkness has space to shine There's nothing to fix here All is Aligned and Divine The heart full yet tender Could this be what they call bliss? Clarity From words unspoken The new path open The written wish Has now been watered It's manifest Creators child Has passed this test The heart says yes To light at dawn The heart says yes The soul reborn
I've been writing love and sad poems since like the 8th grade. I'm 23 years now and I still have the tendency to go off topic and make it suuuuper long. I should've taken a creative writing class 😔
Completely normal! Don't beat yourself up over it. If you have a lot to say and it just needs to come out, it's totally possible that the building up approach isn't for you. I was in your boat before too and learned how to cut the extraneous bits in editing over time and how to work intuitively to minimize completely random stuff. Just keep writing and revising! The journey is the destination :)
If your writing wanders off too long and off topic, you can probably get two or three separate pieces out of the original free flowing piece. I would just go with it and follow it where ever it leads. And then see what you can pick out to work with. Keep the original draft. You might be able to pick something else out of it as well.
Critique my poem- Ran away the boy, Don't know from where Binding ways of shackles Still carries the weights. Fickle was the boy, Hoarded to himself alone though dim were his eyes Life forced him to survive. Gone the days, The boy left behind Never let he go You can see through the eyes, Shackles from the past Kept both his hands tied. - Gremsa basu
I can be quite cringe sometimes ( I’m terrible with words)so I took up drawing , that way I don’t have to talk to express sometimes it can be liked through how good it looks. But goddammit poetry looks are sounds so damn cool I have a lot of appreciation for you poets
Nature-unexplained experience! It is heart to world , But baby to my heart. Miracle to my eyes, Joy to my feelings, Cleansing to my body, Vibration to my soul, Soothing to my mind, Wings to my self, And totally a connection of long...
Ive been starting out with poetry lately but Ive always had a way with words ever since and I just needed uncommon ideas and tips to help me write better and this is exactly the what I need!!!
poetry is really my passion and the last part of this video really resonated with me - i often feel as though my poetry isn't good enough and can't compare to that which i read, but i love the idea of having freedom to copy the poetry that i admire in order to improve my own
Well, I've seen all & non' Seen flowers bloom And the hook reeled back, gone I've seen the empty room Lit only by her bottled sun And if you had asked me once more I'd say there's only I & the horizon beyond She was a muse of the stars Wholly of Mars She was an unending night sky Her love, a series of light, on & on With everything, she had me along Thought she was mine but she was her's I had nothing but only the horizon beyond So I sail my mortal realm By sea, by helm, From time to time again & again I see her across the sky For a moment she's there, & she's gone I wish to have her i wish to so much as try But for now I've me & the horizon beyond If you cant tell im really influenced by Bob dylan. Tell me what you guys thinks :)
I like it and I even made a translation of it lol (I know, terrible translation sorry, I just like to translate stuff lol) He visto todo y nada He visto flores florecer Y el anzuelo retrocedió, y se fué, He visto la habitación vacía Iluminada solo por su sol en una botella Y si me hubieras preguntado una vez Yo diría que solo estoy yo y el horizonte más allá Ella era la musa de las estrellas Sagrada en Marte Ella era un interminable cielo de noche Su amor, una ráfaga de luz infinita Con todo, ella me tenía Pensé que era mía pero era de ella No tenía nada, solo al horizonte más allá Así que navego mi reino mortal Por el mar, por el timón De vez en cuando, una y otra vez La veo a través del cielo Por un momento ella está allí, y se ha ido Deseo tenerla, deseo tanto como puedo Pero ahora me tengo a mí y al horizonte más allá
Loved the information in the video in terms of how to jumpstart the creative process. I’m doing a school project on writing poetry and I had a few questions: 1. Is there a certain rhyme scheme that is better to use for free verse poems compared to other styles? 2. How can beginners learn to draw inspiration from observations and implement them into their poems? 3. Is there a style of poetry that is easiest for beginners to start with in terms of complexity and thought process?
This is damn helpful. The first tip caught me in the net because we tend to catch a person or an image and forget that the Essence of a poetry is "impact"
Here’s a good example of a creative poem from simply observing a dove or doves supposedly the birds of peace but the hunters could care less because to them they were just a dinner meal. These are probably the thoughts that ended up in the following poem by my favorite poet, who also painted as evidenced by his original paintings he did in his limited edition poetry books. Here’s the poem: PEACE I thought the dove was the bird of peace but here they were shooting them out of the brush and climbing up the sides of mountains and banging them down; and everywhere the doves went there were the hunters blasting and beaming and blasting, and one man who didn't in the slightest resemble a dove was shot in the shoulder; and there were many complaints that the doves were smaller and scarcer than last year, but the way they fell through the air when you stung the life out of them was the same; and I was there too but I couldn't shoot anything with a paintbrush; and a couple of them came over to my canvas and stood and stood and stood until I finally said, for God's sake go look at Picasso and Rembrandt, go look at Klee and Gauguin, listen to a symphony by Mahler, and if you get anything out of that come back and stare at my canvas! what the hell's wrong with him? the one guy said. he's nuts. they're all nuts, the other guy said. anyhow, I got my 10 doves. me too, his buddy said, let's go home: we can have them in the pan by 2:30. -Charles Bukowski
You are a paper airplane Covered in notes not meant for me Im making you a habit You cut through the air so smoothly Leaving dotted lines in your path I wanna know those secrets Writen on your wings This old kindergarden classroom is so plain The thought of this small is so mundane Watching you fly through the air enchants me You fly back and forth Each trip above our heads is another secret Covered in notes that were never meant for me What do y'all think?
The opening two lines are really strong, they grabbed my attention right away in a comment section chock full of poetry. However, line 3 is a bit out of nowhere and splits the imagery. I think you could ditch it and have a stronger poem. 'Cutting through the air smoothly' is okay imagery, but you could add tension by picking a contrasting verb/adjective pair. To use the old example, 'smiled sadly' is stronger than 'smiled happily' because it's unexpected-- and 'cutting smoothly' is a bit expected. I think you have the skill to do more with this. I'm not a big fan of 'wanna' as opposed to 'want to'. I think 'want to' would sound more polished, but if you prefer to leave it, you could lean into a more conversational tone with the rest of the poem. 'The thought of this small is so mundane' doesn't really make sense, although I think I see what you were going for, and I really like how you're playing with language to evoke a mood. In this instance, I think rewording for clarity would do it some good. I also think you could work on the last six lines. I love 'enchants me', and since the line before it is repeating an established image, I think that you could change that line to give 'enchants me' more punch. Although I like what I think you're aiming for with the repetition (I read it as bookending a single moment of reflection), I also think it would work better in a longer poem, with more space between repetitions. With only fifteen lines, every word needs to be indisposable. It's a cracking poem overall, and you have a real gift for imagery. The contrast of the profound, reflective tone with the mundane image of the paper airplane is beautiful and really works. It's clearly the work of a mature and gifted poet, and a bit of editing is going to turn it into something really special.
A person who cares, with a strong heart with compassion that will never leave a person behind threw the struggles and pain threw the storms and rain that person will be by your side I'm new to poetry
Started writing poetry in November and I haven’t really had any “lessons” on it so to speak could I please get an honest critique on this? It’s my most recent one The sun will shine again... As my goals lie broken behind me, it seems to me that my life has become a sea of failures that stretches as far as the eye can see and the tide of regret remains high and washes over me mercilessly. I’m not very sure of anything and what lies ahead of me lies in a thick fog of obscurity. However, though nothing no longer makes sense I’m sure that life will fall back in order and the sun will shine again. Through this year and the last a shadow had been cast upon me and as time came to pass, there it still remained apart of me and I am glad to say it’s grip on me has started to lessen, but through this time of depression there in the midst of it was a lesson. initially I thought it was all in vain but now I see that I was greatly flawed in terms who I am and my philosophy and it’s sad to say that I was naive but the suffering has offered me growth and that is the greatest gift I could receive. My wounds will heal and it will make me better than what I used to be and once this has been reached, then the sun will shine again. As terrible as times may be, though goals and friendships lie broken through my fault and my own incompetency, though I cannot see what my life has in store for me I can confidently say that I will try to be the best that I can possibly be and as time heals everything I can only hope that it can heal the things that have been broken by me, but if it cannot then I will not try to change the things that are meant to stay permanently because I have learned that some things just aren’t up to me. Regardless of what will come to be and regardless of what the future holds for me, I’m certain that in the end the sun will shine again.
Come by again, they always say It falls from the heavens and I cycle home Making mantra's out of the rain. Come by again, don't come too close We are them and they are those and we're Spinning, love, we're falling through the days - But it's dark outside already, and it no longer rains. Come by again, so I can kiss you farewell It's always on those days, you know When it all goes to hell. ---- I'm not very happy with the poem but I did get inspired to work on the imagery and themes a little. There's the falling away of rain, the coming-going-repetition ending with saying farewell, and how the first stanza features heaven and the last one features hell.
here's something i wrote for my creative writing class- The sailor's tale: the temper of creatures such as her is unpredictable, of this i was warned. however, seeing her there among the waves, at peace with the sea foam, she looks like art. her voice is comparable, to the song of a dove, as she hums a soothing melody for the weary sailor. her white dress is long, and had been weathered by the mighty ocean. but it somehow remained pristine, and flowing like a sail with the wind. her eyes reflect the sun’s bright glare, ocean blue spheres staring straight at our ship. and her hair, golden blonde. its silhouette is waist length and wavy. i feel in my soul, that if i were to touch it, it would be as soft as the cotton clouds dotted throughout the baby blue sky. the legends were true after all, you fair temptress, Aphrodite.
Which is better because I can't choose. These are 2 haikus I made and I can't tell which is better. 1. Two fiery sharp blades Side by side blinding the eyes First blinding then grand. 2. A flash of winter In the midst of falls nature Like the seasons change
I personally like the first one better; to use any word twice in such a short poem can be either bold or cringe, but you pulled it off perfectly here with a nice setup & twist 👍 the second haiku seems a tad generic imho
Wonderful tips and advice and so well delivered too, it opens up a lot of avenues not signposted, especially living off the crumbs of the masters. Now for the wedding cake !
alone in thoughts buried in mind hidden life that time left behind crickets chirp the wind breezes by birds sing their tune snakes slither from behind just some from the top of my head.
I’m so glad for this site. So much poetry out there but so hard to know if you’re any good. I really appreciate your advice about mixing metaphors and also cliches
Education I am a child And I am a man From beyond the sun I walk again I am here as life In body to grow Yet I am spirit In continual flow I have finally awakened Within this time Reflections everywhere Educate my mind I am here to strengthen In the tide of life Growing through trials Of karmic time Feeling your pain To understand mine Dennis Burrow 2018
You are a mystery Do not know what The feeling of your heart is I'm confused by my feelings Does not know what to do In the world that's messy Please give what you felt I was scared of knowing, of what you are feeling Forgive me, I am a coward- To be free, and under the meat of my heart.
1 - fine tip. Think in terms of your having one idea and dividing it rather than multiple ideas. 2 - extra tip: the two elements you're keeping in tension are great repeating lines when writing a villanelle. Odysseus' Afterwords. Darling Circe, leading me to sin. As I rest my head upon your thighs Whisper me what beast I would've been. Ichor pulses cool beneath your skin. By this deathless blood you mesmerize. Darling Circe, leading me to sin. Turning sailors into Otherkin. Some to ursinate, some leonize. Whisper me what beast I would've been. Kiss you up and down your eight foot ten. Let's again before this morning dries. Darling Circe, leading me to sin. Would my sweat bead up a dorsal fin? Does my tongue inspire butterflies? Whisper me what beast I would've been. Now again to taste the light within, Stir your repertoire of little cries. Darling Circe, leading me to sin. Whisper me what beast I would've been. Here's a rule 6: Even once you're published (see above) don't get too big in the britches to pick up tips from a RUclips video.
Me personally I write for 10 mins straight to an instrumental when I have writers block. I go back after a few hours and read highlight certain lines if it seems conceptual
Lie in their eyes (A) Truth in my head (B) Deep as they see (C) Shallow in the air (D) Sadness is nice (A) But not when you're dead (B) It'll be pain in the knee (C) Disappeared, but where? (D) Sometimes I wrote mine like that :>
Creative! I don't think I've encountered such a pattern before, but it's definitely possible to create some interesting effects by basically rhyming across stanzas like this. However, you'd probably have to be very careful with meter to make sure that the rhythm is engaging enough for the reader to get to the second stanza for the rhyming payoff.
Mix it up like this... *Sadness is nice Lie in their eyes Truth in my head but not when I'm dead It'll be pain in the knee Deep as they see Disappeared, but where? Shallow in the air*
I wrote a poem for someone Expresses thoughts that I want Content all the feelings I had Cover with love that I cared alot.... To be continue😍 Thanks, I've learned a lot about poetry making
Tips for writing a single poem about your life story? Trauma, experiences etc. For years, I've wanted to publicly share some of my life experiences in order to heal. But so much of it is so personal, and so deep, unrelatable, extreme etc. That I've never been able to openly talk about it. Until it occured to me to sum it up in a written poem! It'll be much easier to open up about in subtle/vague lines in a poem.
I love to write poems! I especially like to add some musical environment to accompany what I write. Sometimes the musical environment IS the poem. My personal "tip" if one were to call it that is, WHY am I doing this? i.e. what is on my heart now and how can I develop it into a poem or whatever and share it with myself and/or others? I'm not concerned with making it "good" or "popular" ,I just want to do it and see what happens, reflect on it and manipulate it till I can say it's done! I lie a LOT ,and pretend something is important to me and create a real fake connection with what I am doing; being intensely sincere, no matter how phony the sincerity is critical to me. I want to enjoy /review what I have created after some time and not be able to distinguish between what is real and what is fabricated. My goal is to truly enjoy the inspiration and creation process and try to portray some "love of the craft" into it all ,even if it isn't really all that "likeable" in a conventional sense..... I think all that "freedom" is designed to help make me better and better at one thing exclusively: being available for what comes next.
My English is weak I need help with this Its a poem I wrote it for a song FLAWERSLAND Let me tel you a story Come on Listen with keen ears A land that's full of glory Or maybe that's just what appears You can't escape from this land the land of flowers Even if you claim that you have some super powers Every little kid in this mystery land Has given a single little flower with small petals to guard keep it in a good shape and I know that its really hard But there's nothing you can't do with this tiny little hands Days passing by Even weeks passing by If you're flower just died there isn't new ones to buy We are getting old fast and one day we gonna die Hey Tell me how is your flower just stop telling me lies Some people paint their flower if its turning to gray Some of them making new ones with paper and clay Some of them hiding They're flower because they are ashamed They're all looking good but hiding a story behind From your perspective you see your flower the worst But if you just knew what they're hiding You'll be happy the most We are getting old fast and one day we gonna die Hey Tell me how is your flower just stop telling me lies Some people paint their flower if its turning to gray Some of them making new ones with paper and clay Some of them hiding They're flower because they are ashamed They're all looking good but hiding a story behind
Because I love you-(unknown) I can see your joyless face Where did the smile go The smile you had even in the hardest of time How did it manage to go You have changed so much It feels like you have lost a part of yourself I wish you could tell me what is hurting you so much Because I can't lose you like this. Because I love you, you know.
that red sauce on the tongue when it drops from above takes out all of the fun a blade of grass is as green as you see it to be and in your dreams can be anything the misty leaves in the trees that I don't see after noon
COVID 19 Poem / 2020 Poem. From St. Patrick’s day, till Christmas Eve, We barely had to time to grieve. To all the lives lost, we remember when the world was in frost, When we could stay close together, and when we could be in school, When we felt like little bugs on a cool summer day. Our fear is fraying, and soon we will have a great promise for those decaying. The praise we give to those who lost they’re own lives, Front line workers, to non essential workers, We remember you as our heroes, We remember you as those who thrive. I promise everyone, we can make it through this alive.
Ok question to tip #1. I totally get to focus on one topic, but one image? Am I getting this wrong? Example: I am currently writing a poem about how parenting is that fragile balance between letting our children go, allowing ourselves to grieve because the intimacy goes away while at the same time rejoicing in their growth. Alright. I wanted to bring that across by giving a lot of small images that show how I used to know everything about my daughter (which animal she prefers on the front of her diaper or which type of veggies she'd sort out of her stew to put on my plate) until I didn't. And that it's hard to accept to know less and less but also rewarding. I thought that several small images (each one line) would create this dense picture of intimacy. I always have three images followed by "I used to know everything about you, until I didn't.". Is that cluttered, do you think ?
I found one of my old poems back when I was a beginner and knew nothing about tension and all these tips, and was surprised to see that I still used tension in the story: (TW, SH) "A new toy is here to play with This toy is different from the rest It's made of metal, not stuffing It's not soft but slices thin Pain is brought, not pleasure Though those two are quite the same This toy is used for broken skin and that fatal ecstasy is felt again Warmth is found in its cold edges One is wiped of all one's stresses."
Dreadful days Hopeless nights Dull eyes who once shined so bright Holding my last breath Unfinished Goodbyes It Ends here tonight I'm new to poetry( ╹▽╹ )
About last tip - there is thin line between stealing and getting inspiration from someone, but as Sarah Kane said in Psychosis 4:48: "Theft is the holy act. On a twisted path to expression." And much of art would not exist if not a bit of "stealing" I'm totally against plagiarism, but taking a thought and putting it in your words so nothing repeats? Sure. It will help you immensely.
So yeah I made a poem and it's kinda long but I was wondering if anyone has any tips. Sometimes I kind of struggle with relating what I write to real events in my life cause I am 16 and (luckily) nothing much ever happened to me yet. Also, I'd love to put this to music, but it seems kinda impossible. The One Temptation over destination, Barely brings but desolation. So I’ll climb, I’ll find, I’ll leave myself behind. I know it’s of no use, But I can’t control the temptation. Now I am on a journey, Without a destination. You only learn you’re lost, When you find. You only discover you’re down, When you climb. So why might I miss you? And how do I know, If I never met you, That I need you so? For the one I’ve never met, Is the one I’ll never kiss. And the one I’ll never get, Is the only one I’ll ever miss. I’ve grown to be alone, It’s all I have ever known. So I will die or fly, Please don’t make me try. A committed quest for company, How my heartache has grown. I am on a journey, And I’m travelling alone. You can only tell you’re immortal, When you die. You can only know you’re bound, When you fly. But there’s this dark in my life, By the name of you. That I can’t survive, Or ever get through. For the one I’ve never met, Is the one I’ll never kiss. And the one I’ll never get, Is the only one I’ll ever miss. I’m stuck on some route, And my time’s running out. Cause when it’s winter all will fall, Not even I shall stand tall. Will anyone ever interfere, Or marry me on my route? Whilst time ticks tirelessly, My fire is dying out. Cause the fall of summer, Starts such a summer for fall. Yet after all, the winter of fall, Leads the winter to take it all. I am looking for a partner, But I can only gain a guest. And as of my departure, I’ve missed the one I’ve never met. For the one I’ve never met, Is the one I’ll never kiss. And the one I’ll never get, Is the only one I’ll ever miss. Am I looking for a partner, Or am I my own guest? Have I been, as of my departure, The only one I’ve never met? For the one I’ve never met, Is the only one I’ll ever wish. And the one I’ll never get, Is the only one I’ll ever miss. Was I looking for a partner, Or was I my own guest? Was I, as of my departure, The only one I never met? For the one I never met, Is the only one I ever wished. And the one I never got, Is the only one I ever missed. I was the one I never met. I was the one I always wished. I was the one I never got. I was the one I always missed.
You, the envoy of Sol, As distant from Saturn's Titan. One which I cannot lay gaze, Possession of blinding beauty, Surpasses more than Medusa's curse. You're my Sol for a lot of reasons, One that burns just like myriad others of your kind; Scattered across the vast cosmos, You're not one of a kind. Yet you're my Sol; the only one. The star which I've adorned, One which I've grown fond. Yet, unlike your kind, You're the one I cannot lay my gaze upon. Not the kind that I could stare upon. You're this one of a kind stellar, That I'm unable to bring myself to admire even from afar.
This is how bad I am at poe making It's hard to let go You made my past But you left my present Hate you for leaving? I can't dare I try my best to let go But then, Im lying to myself. I want my best friend back But I know you've moved on I wish I did to, I can't move on. You were the reason I enjoyed my life. For thy I hate memories As they remind me Of things I can't bring back. You were my life, You were my soul, You were my other half. Please come back.
ceiling reminding me of the inside of a coffin feeling confined thinking this is the end going asleep is what I dread, trying not to lose my head by hanging on by a thread from the negative situations that i fled the anxiety keeping me suspicious of movement from humans like a mutant I'm hiding with my soul being translucent.trying to configure my true feelings is confusing and I'm not tryna be a nuisance nor am I being prudent. Thoughts on this? I am new to writing and at the moment I got a rap vibe type of poetry going on so far
I’d say, let the words breathe! There’s too much packed too closely. Break ups those paragraphs and even those sentences in lines. Also, breaking it up will help to see what’s unnecessary. There’s some really good stuff in there, but I feel like you’re trying to explain too much (as said in the video, less is often better)
I love it! But yes, I agree with the others that it needs to be broken into shorter lines. I can see when I read it where I would add line breaks if it were me.
OK I just started poetry and for those who want to be poetic. Or just write poetry. I would recommend starting with free verse poetry, because it's really simple and in a nice fashion. Then if you get tired of free verse, then you should try haiku because you could fit a whole summary in 3 sentences, although you might need to study synonyms and syllables. Now when your writing, take an object or an image and describe it or describe what makes it best and try your best to be enthusiastic.
Trekking up the hill, The sun waivers in and out I hesitate, pause still It's assured rays cradle about, Before shamefully drawing away Covered by the clouds' polluted ideas So willingly, I anticipate each day To live without this fickle flare It tenderly gifts, a soothing warmth It regrettably revokes, from my legs to hair Teetering back and forth Rarely afforded the clarify of a cloudless day
This makes poetry so much easier and better i am only new to poetry but this helps so much as the sealine swims we all stand in desipar there is nothing better the a sealine in despair
This might be late but I’m working on a poem and I need your thoughts before I Stones and Words What’s the best lie you have ever been told? You’ll never die You’ll never be hurt You’ll never be free Mine is a quote...funny isn’t it a quote a lot of kids are told ruins me everyday, ruins a lot of kids everyday. What is it? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me I believed it when I was seven and no one had the heart to tell me I was different. That my blue and red wires were twisted and tangled. That my metallic skin was dented and rusty. That my emotions were like majestic unicorns, something that doesn’t exist. That tale about rocks being more painful than words is a lie. A lie told to kids that complain about life not being fair. A lie told to teens who are bullied by dictionary’s that only know harm. A lie told to adults who have thrown themselves in a pit of catfished marriages and fake I love you.
dress nice, look pretty prettier than i myself think of me who for? do i try who's validation do i need i think, and it's not easy to think for thinking makes you realize the reality you feared to admit so i make myself think to realize what i already knew i try so that they accept me and i'm not reminded of the times i'm constantly rejected by no one else, but me
Legacy A man strives for aspirations A man look up to inspirations A man wants to leave his mark A man wants to leave his legacy behind But a man is so busy; chopping woods and fetching water Though we're mortals and we'll die So a fame so attractive Yet we have not ponder upon, yet we've not to the core of it. Yet we've not contemplate it,yet we've not. The day of the doom, the day of the curtains We've been fighting this fact, we've been ignoring this truth We are but a heart pumping,breath gasping,meat coated skeleton We're so out of place, we're so unmindful We're so aging everyday We inborn to death sentence Yet covet eternity, still to die changeless The conflict's nev'r ending In the aghast of fadeaway, in the fear of vanishing A man desires his dent, and philosophy To pass on to, to looked up to, to talked about. A man wants his legacy, to continued. -Somkhang Pansa 9th May (What do you think about this?)
Circulation slowed by piano stool edge, Feet tingling as ears are soothed by rhythmic chanting of a pleasant voice. Excellent lesson. Subscribed, despite the lateness of my action.
i listen to all of them, i don't say much but i listen i always do at this point, inconveniently so i'm frazzled because they don't seem to realize or maybe they simply do not care enough to think so and realize how i know so much about them, but they barely even know what i like and what i do not i wish to tell them, i want to i want them to know i like flowers i like music, especially that one band i like painting, and stargazing i like the moon, be it full or a crescent i'd like them to know i like the nights but i can't stand them when i have to sleep because those dreamy landscapes and skyscapes turn into a nightmare the moon grows a face that i fear the beautiful bright stars in the night sky are long arms and legs to the face aligning themselves, reaching down to grab my throat that i make little use of i'd tell them all, i too have a story to share with you all but i tried once, twice and thrice each time getting cut off i guess no one was curious enough to know the name of the band that i liked so now i have accepted it darling, this time i was not scared of the moon and the stars for i found ink and paper more useful than my voice
Her skin was peeled off revealing her flesh, Tears trickled along her blood "I am...me?!" She screamed Can you tell me what you interpret the very short poem was about? I'm interested in how different people see it from different perspectives
Title: Hope Hope is what we need Hope is what we seek Hope is what we eat until we know something is gone Like wall crashing down when I saw you somewhere up there A place that was nowhere anyone would like Nor a place that anyone would hope for A ghost running in my brain like a pinning stone Trying to pull me down to my tomb stone Hope was something i would never hope for until someone comes knocking at my door Please don’t give me anymore hope For which I have lost, unless someone comes knocking at my door Hope was what I seeked, until I lost someone so dear to me I cpuld never adore. So please don’t give me hope but throw it into the stupid door can u plz help me is it good? i saw this video only now sorry
Can someone critique this poem I made but keep in mind it’s the first poem I’ve made As I wash my hands from the black blood from my lovers heart I just broke, I try to end this chapter and move on. But when I walk on the entrance of shame with a shovel I just buried his body with, I see him standing there with a halo shining brighter than the sun above his head. So beautiful and pristine, perfectly straight white teeth like his sexuality, I had so many questions but nothing came out. He rises before the world in the sunrise sweet silence. I could hear his voice speaking to me in that silence. I was an addict of his dark raspy voice. So every night I felt lonely I numbed my pain with his voice. I mean what is even so special about him? There’s plenty other people to love, and plenty of drugs to try so who cares? I realized I needed him for my sanity I realized I loved him for his insanity
Can someone critique this or give me tips? Our fingers interlocked And we shared a smile We became close And walked for miles We traveled together Hands clasped tight But you didn't mean forever And it changed overnight I fell in the mud And someone pulled you across You spared only a glance And decided I was a fair loss I sat for a while And watched with a smile You were happy So I was, too I waited for you to return Soon the mud dried and my skin started to burn I thought about what we'd been through Only if I'd known I didn't need you
Can someone critique my little poem: Title: It Glows My eyes can not see. Walls of coal left to right With no hope in me, What is that in my sight? The golden glistening that my eyes bear, Of flickering flame. To this Sun naught can compare, Thus in my shock I am not to blame The happiness that now within me flows, Comes from when the ember Glows.
In my opinion, the best way to write poetry, don’t think at first, just start writing, an emotion or feeling will uncover itself and then you can hone in on that feeling or emotion. Never say the emotion you’re thinking about, you can say something like “the birds sing their sorrowful tune”, but never ever state what feeling you have while writing the poem, it constricts it and most of the time it will cause people to not think for themselves and develop their own emotions about the poem. I always write on paper with a trusted fountain pen because that feels the best, but that’s a personal preference. You can write however you like, but I always prefer to have a physical copy in my hand before I put it into an online document. Another thing, it’s a personal preference; however, I prefer not to rhyme and keep it without any given classical format, keep it without rhymes and free form, in my opinion, rhyming every end of every line is rather childish, but to each his own.
Great summary of a solid approach towards the idea of "show, don't tell"! The others are definitely personal preference, so it's good to try everything until you find what feels right for you. I mostly write digitally, but have been experimenting with pen and paper recently as well. Rhymes are definitely something I had the same view on before, but I've been warming up to them as I've experimented over the past few years. There's some fantastic free verse and some fantastic rhyming poetry, both old and new.
Rhyming is fun! :-) for me ofc, to each their own!
This method is similat to the surrealist process of painting, where the subject becomes what comes to mind.
If u think rhyming is childish than you are wrong read some poems by great english poets who had used rhyming schemes in their poems that make their poems ever better than a non rhyming poem or a blank verse!!!!! You should know that rhyming poems makes you flow with the things mentioned in the poems and make you understand the content in the poem better than a blank verse or a non rhyming poem !!!!!!
I believe he didn't really mean it, he just don't like rhyming. I do use rhymes, and I'm not offended; rich rhymes (not poor rhymes) give rhythm to the poem, make it fun to read. The absence of rhyme makes the poem more serious, because there are times when you just don't feel like listening to music at all.
My process and suggestions:
1. Write, write, write and write. Eventually will be instinctive and you will feel the need to write.
2. Don't overthink, just write
3. Don't bother with rules and rhymes, just improve de text later
4. Don't judge your quality. Sure you will write bad or boring stuff, but the gems will appear. Poetry it's mining, metal smithing, wood carving, sculpturing, painting.
5. Don't expect to be inspired. Deep inspiration it's rare, but great things can come from the ordinary. Specially inspiration itself.
@@aBlackVixen nope, I wouldn't care to, and to be published in my country is a pain. I just write to myself and a select group of friends. I'm not any good lol
this helps alot 😭 tytyty!
As the sun sets
And as flowers bloom
As the winds blow
Set a time for doom
Things may be bright
Yet again who knows
The brightest angels
Have bitter flaws
As fire spreads
And as volcanoes erupt
As the ravens scream
This love may not corrupt
Not a single wicked scheme
Has ever been seen
In the hearts of most wicked
Love has been
I don't even know about this poem i wrote
There's a lot there! Nice use of rhyme, powerful imagery (volcanoes erupt, ravens scream, etc.), good progression. Good areas to focus on would be poetic meter and editing down some of the unrelated excess to really hone in on one specific part that feels most important and powerful to you. Keep at it! :)
All I could say of it is that it's really nice! And you're very imaginative at some places here. But..... Just it's somewhat unclear what you're focusing on ( it's what seems to me 🙄). But nice use of tension and rhyming.
Copy write
Nice poem
God bless you and Jesus loves you! ❤️🙏✝️💖👑
A little acrostic poem (raindrop):
Resting on a leaf
And going on its final water-slide ride
Into the abyss of air.
Never saved, never interjected;
Doomed, oblivious to doom.
Rescued by a thought:
Over there will stretch a twig
Pulling me up again.
Really nice
love the simplicity of it, well chosen words
Amazing 😁🔥
Okay so I used to to write poems with absolutely no experience, so this is currently the first to be written in years:
"The hail starts to pitter-patter,
And when it hits the ground, It
Splitter-Splatters. I run up the
Stairs and feel the cold air.
I squeal and sing with all my
Might, not even an inch of
Fright.
The thunder roars another way,
I hope it lasts another day.
Its all Greek to me,when one
Dislikes when the black clouds
Peek.
I sit there hours at a time,
Knowing I'll be just fine.."
Thoughts? 👀
I myself am not that experienced with poems yet and still am at my beginning phase. So i cannot give you any usefull critique except that I like it. Just continue writing more
Raindrops on a window seal
A library at night
I yearn for what once was
And fear what might
I stumble and stutter
Trance-like down the hall
Led by the candle's light
And the voices?
They squall.
With a feeling inside me,
I can't help but wonder
Who else might be with me
Feeling this thunder?
It comes like a wave
It roars and it wanes
It's no ordinary feeling
It's a most desperate pain.
It yearns and it hungers
For even a piece of that day
A day that is perfect
In every way.
I know that this day can't happen again,
But I yearn for it anew
Like a chick for it's hen.
If ever there was a joy,
So terrible, so far
It's the joy of hiraeth,
As you remember what's gone
To add to your first point, poems that have many images and ideas can synthesise it all together to have one cohesive main idea. For example, roads, cars, spaceships and stars to illustrate the idea of aimlessness: travel without a destination. Although there are many images, they're not in isolation.
Yes, definitely! That would be one of the approaches for keeping more images in, though I think that makes things a bit more complicated simply by virtue of the elements being worked with. Less is easier to start, but eventually more and more can be integrated and meaningfully connected without going overboard.
❝Dejected❞
Isolated.
Maybe I was born to be alone.
To be in a corner in which I call home.
Dark as it may seem, it feels so comforting.
The remedy of my illness is unknown, I'm still searching.
I feel no sadness, no emotions inside.
My heart seems to be void with feelings aside.
Isolated.
I stay.
I sit on my bed while my mind is astray.
My notions are on a sick twist, you don't need to know.
The things I have in mind is more vigorous than horror shows.
Its eating me up, it can never be full.
Not until it gnaws my being as a whole.
Demons? They ain't real.
Just a bunch of delusions.
Though I believe the real demon is inside me, causing illusions.
Isolated.
Yes, that's what I feel.
That's what I am, that's how I had lived.
Soon I won't be, ain't gonna be lonely.
For in the grave, thousands of bones are beside me.
Happy, yes you will be soon.
If I rest for eternity, I'd escape all the gloom.
Crestfallen being, that's how I was known.
Might as well also accept if I die in forlorn.
This is good 👍🏻
This was so good!!!!!!
this is sooo goooood😮
As soon as you said illuminati I know you're watching I subscribed
Same I subscribe the moment he said that
Same
right when i heard him say that i subbed
Dear Illuminati overlords, I am pleased to know I have appeased you for today. Your support is much appreciated.
@@NikitaShorikov hi
You may not see my lips move
Yet I almost scream my heart out
Yelling & longing to be heard
Yet yielding no audience at all
Not that my voice wasn't Loud enough;
Just that it was all an act in my mind.
Yours truly, Me!
I'm 16 and I write poetry started at age 9 till now I'm still going Imma publish a book one day
My advice is just take a pen and paper no need to think nature will do the rest
Did you do anything ?
I wouldn't mind having him as my English teacher.
Same
69 likes
@@cries3136 ughh u criedd and it becamee 73😂😂
@@pumpkinieepwp6644 yes 😢
y e p s a m e
A million
A million reactions
A million thoughts
A million aches
A million questions
A million emotions
A million sensations
A million pains
A minute in my head has a million thoughts
This comment didn’t get a million reactions 😟 So I’ll get the ball rolling 🙂🙃🙂
I love the enumeration which at first I thought was a bit tedious but the end explains why it was necessary and it’s beautiful 🤩 However, in my opinion, perhaps you should reconsider the “A million thoughts” as you have repeated the same thing in the last verse 🤷♂️ then again I’m not exactly a poet, at least not yet 😂
Beautiful and I so relate. But yes, I agree with @Doomergedon. Take out a million thoughts
Incredibly watchable video... Easy on the eyes, easy on the ears, but HARD ON KNOWLEDGE. I like it. One thing however is that good poetry can exist without tension. In those cases the iceberg ratios are flipped, but the words need to be so on point that they can support the poem on their own, either through humour or sexiness.
I would've liked to see the Volta talked about, or "the turn" as some call it... The point in a poem that indicates a dramatic shift in theme E.G happy to sad or perhaps a stark revelation. This adds dimension to the poem, and goes hand in hand with tension.
Great work
Thanks for the kind words and positive feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the video :) You're right on both fronts, in terms of the flipped iceberg and the Volta. No time to give most of these topics the time they truly deserve, unfortunately. But I'll make a note of those ideas to return to in future videos. Cheers!
@@NikitaShorikov Looking forward to it!
God bless you and Jesus loves you! ❤️🙏✝️💖👑
@@NikitaShorikov God bless you and Jesus loves you! ❤️🙏✝️💖👑
@@NikitaShorikov God bless, and Jesus loves everyone! God sent his Son to die on the cross for us all to save us all from our sins! We have all sinned. :( 😞 😓 He saved us! Hallelujah! Praise his name, for he is the greatest! Check out John 3:16 in the Holy Bible! ❤️🙏✝️💖👑 I love you, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! I love you God!
Been writting poems since I was a kid and learned these things from reading published poets. Well I've been published but nothing major. This is great information.
Thank you for the kind words! Glad you're enjoying the content.
what poems have you had published id love to read some of them?
I only started writing poetry seriously last august when I started my first college poetry course and immediately switched my major (from just fiction to poetry so not a huge jump) when I found how much I loved it. I would sometimes write poems to vent, but the class I took allowed me to see how I could make those into something actually worth a read (by someone other than myself). Bc enrollment is down, they’ve cut the class I would be taking in the fall (so I have to do it in the spring) so I’ve been trying to find ways to continue to grow my skill. I think this was really helpful! It reminded me of some tactics I know but still need to practice and gave me new ones! Thanks so much!
Where has this channel been in my life
You flatter me :) Very grateful for the kind words and support. More finally coming in the next few weeks so stay tuned!
I am a poet and i am 16 years old . I think the best ways to write a poem are
1. Freely Writing without thinking whatever comes in your mind about someone or something Then adding line breaks in them !!
2.You can also use this one reading more and more poetry by different poets and taking a particular theme and crafting it into a poem. THAT'S EASY!!!!! isn't it?
It's kinda cringe but I tried to use the tips in editing the poem to make it more concise and emotive
he holds a thorn to his fingertip
cheeks glow crimson with an aching grin
a pain so great, a boy so fragile
he is so thin, a boy with paper bones
and a grave he dug himself.
standing, rose in hand
at the edge
on the brink
he is alone, empty
yet he grins.
a wide, joyous grin
on a cold, fragile boy
blood drips from his fingertip
a rose, wilting, thorns and all.
This is lovely, mysterious, yet evocative.❤
nikitas still replying after 3 years 👑
Thank you! I was struggling finishing a poem, decided to remove all the verses except one and now it’s perfect
My God. The amount of effort and thought put into this video for a concise explaination is ASTOUNDING. Thank you so much! How does this have so few liikes?
Like spike?!
I'm very happy you found it helpful! Thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate them :)
I almost never comment on videos but I want to say that you did a great job and I can't wait to see new stuff!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know you enjoyed it. More on the way soon!
Hi there! I am a Filipino Poet by Heart and starting my career in making Spoken Word Poetries. This video is very helpful to me and I learned a lot from this even in a short period of time. Imitation, Adaptation to Transformation but we should still be the Original. Thank you so much for this video. :)
I didn’t follow any rules i just started writing and this is what came out
Emerging
From the shadow
Darkness has space to shine
There's nothing to fix here
All is Aligned and Divine
The heart full yet tender
Could this be what they call bliss?
Clarity
From words unspoken
The new path open
The written wish
Has now been watered
It's manifest
Creators child
Has passed this test
The heart says yes
To light at dawn
The heart says yes
The soul reborn
I've been writing love and sad poems since like the 8th grade. I'm 23 years now and I still have the tendency to go off topic and make it suuuuper long. I should've taken a creative writing class 😔
@@notsure8433 That's awesome!
I was actually the opposite. I hated it in school, then I turned 21 and haven't looked back since!
Completely normal! Don't beat yourself up over it. If you have a lot to say and it just needs to come out, it's totally possible that the building up approach isn't for you. I was in your boat before too and learned how to cut the extraneous bits in editing over time and how to work intuitively to minimize completely random stuff. Just keep writing and revising! The journey is the destination :)
If your writing wanders off too long and off topic, you can probably get two or three separate pieces out of the original free flowing piece. I would just go with it and follow it where ever it leads. And then see what you can pick out to work with. Keep the original draft. You might be able to pick something else out of it as well.
Critique my poem-
Ran away the boy,
Don't know from where
Binding ways of shackles
Still carries the weights.
Fickle was the boy,
Hoarded to himself alone
though dim were his eyes
Life forced him to survive.
Gone the days,
The boy left behind
Never let he go
You can see through the eyes,
Shackles from the past
Kept both his hands tied.
- Gremsa basu
I can be quite cringe sometimes ( I’m terrible with words)so I took up drawing , that way I don’t have to talk to express sometimes it can be liked through how good it looks. But goddammit poetry looks are sounds so damn cool
I have a lot of appreciation for you poets
Nature-unexplained experience!
It is heart to world ,
But baby to my heart.
Miracle to my eyes,
Joy to my feelings,
Cleansing to my body,
Vibration to my soul,
Soothing to my mind,
Wings to my self,
And totally a connection of long...
Ive been starting out with poetry lately but Ive always had a way with words ever since and I just needed uncommon ideas and tips to help me write better and this is exactly the what I need!!!
poetry is really my passion and the last part of this video really resonated with me - i often feel as though my poetry isn't good enough and can't compare to that which i read, but i love the idea of having freedom to copy the poetry that i admire in order to improve my own
Well, I've seen all & non'
Seen flowers bloom
And the hook reeled back, gone
I've seen the empty room
Lit only by her bottled sun
And if you had asked me once more
I'd say there's only I & the horizon beyond
She was a muse of the stars
Wholly of Mars
She was an unending night sky
Her love, a series of light, on & on
With everything, she had me along
Thought she was mine but she was her's
I had nothing but only the horizon beyond
So I sail my mortal realm
By sea, by helm,
From time to time again & again
I see her across the sky
For a moment she's there, & she's gone
I wish to have her i wish to so much as try
But for now I've me & the horizon beyond
If you cant tell im really influenced by Bob dylan. Tell me what you guys thinks :)
I like it and I even made a translation of it lol (I know, terrible translation sorry, I just like to translate stuff lol)
He visto todo y nada
He visto flores florecer
Y el anzuelo retrocedió, y se fué,
He visto la habitación vacía
Iluminada solo por su sol en una botella
Y si me hubieras preguntado una vez
Yo diría que solo estoy yo y el horizonte más allá
Ella era la musa de las estrellas
Sagrada en Marte
Ella era un interminable cielo de noche
Su amor, una ráfaga de luz infinita
Con todo, ella me tenía
Pensé que era mía pero era de ella
No tenía nada, solo al horizonte más allá
Así que navego mi reino mortal
Por el mar, por el timón
De vez en cuando, una y otra vez
La veo a través del cielo
Por un momento ella está allí, y se ha ido
Deseo tenerla, deseo tanto como puedo
Pero ahora me tengo a mí y al horizonte más allá
Loved the information in the video in terms of how to jumpstart the creative process.
I’m doing a school project on writing poetry and I had a few questions:
1. Is there a certain rhyme scheme that is better to use for free verse poems compared to other styles?
2. How can beginners learn to draw inspiration from observations and implement them into their poems?
3. Is there a style of poetry that is easiest for beginners to start with in terms of complexity and thought process?
This is damn helpful. The first tip caught me in the net because we tend to catch a person or an image and forget that the Essence of a poetry is "impact"
I have been writing poetry for some time. I am finally putting them out there. Wish me luck! This video is very informative. I definitely took notes.
Here’s a good example of a creative poem from simply observing a dove or doves supposedly the birds of peace but the hunters could care less because to them they were just a dinner meal. These are probably the thoughts that ended up in the following poem by my favorite poet, who also painted as evidenced by his original paintings he did in his limited edition poetry books. Here’s the poem:
PEACE
I thought the dove was the bird of peace
but here they were shooting them out
of the brush
and climbing up the sides of mountains
and banging them down;
and everywhere the doves went
there were the hunters
blasting and beaming and blasting,
and one man who didn't
in the slightest
resemble a dove
was shot in the shoulder;
and there were many complaints
that the doves
were smaller and scarcer
than last year,
but the way they fell
through the air
when you stung the life
out of them
was the same;
and I was there too
but I couldn't shoot anything
with a paintbrush;
and a couple of them
came over to my canvas
and stood and stood and stood
until I finally said,
for God's sake
go look at Picasso and Rembrandt,
go look at Klee and Gauguin,
listen to a symphony by Mahler,
and if you get anything
out of that
come back
and stare at my canvas!
what the hell's wrong with
him? the one guy
said.
he's nuts. they're all nuts,
the other guy said. anyhow,
I got my 10 doves.
me too, his buddy said, let's
go home: we can have them
in the pan
by 2:30.
-Charles Bukowski
You are a paper airplane
Covered in notes not meant for me
Im making you a habit
You cut through the air so smoothly
Leaving dotted lines in your path
I wanna know those secrets
Writen on your wings
This old kindergarden classroom is so plain
The thought of this small is so mundane
Watching you fly through the air enchants me
You fly back and forth
Each trip above our heads is another secret
Covered in notes that were never meant for me
What do y'all think?
Awesome😍👍👍
Gr8 Imagery
Keep writing
Awesome!
Love the idea of of "secrets/ Written on your wings"! Thank you for sharing :)
The opening two lines are really strong, they grabbed my attention right away in a comment section chock full of poetry. However, line 3 is a bit out of nowhere and splits the imagery. I think you could ditch it and have a stronger poem.
'Cutting through the air smoothly' is okay imagery, but you could add tension by picking a contrasting verb/adjective pair. To use the old example, 'smiled sadly' is stronger than 'smiled happily' because it's unexpected-- and 'cutting smoothly' is a bit expected. I think you have the skill to do more with this.
I'm not a big fan of 'wanna' as opposed to 'want to'. I think 'want to' would sound more polished, but if you prefer to leave it, you could lean into a more conversational tone with the rest of the poem.
'The thought of this small is so mundane' doesn't really make sense, although I think I see what you were going for, and I really like how you're playing with language to evoke a mood. In this instance, I think rewording for clarity would do it some good.
I also think you could work on the last six lines. I love 'enchants me', and since the line before it is repeating an established image, I think that you could change that line to give 'enchants me' more punch.
Although I like what I think you're aiming for with the repetition (I read it as bookending a single moment of reflection), I also think it would work better in a longer poem, with more space between repetitions. With only fifteen lines, every word needs to be indisposable.
It's a cracking poem overall, and you have a real gift for imagery. The contrast of the profound, reflective tone with the mundane image of the paper airplane is beautiful and really works. It's clearly the work of a mature and gifted poet, and a bit of editing is going to turn it into something really special.
A person who cares, with a strong heart
with compassion that
will never leave a person behind
threw the struggles and pain
threw the storms and rain
that person will be by your side
I'm new to poetry
Started writing poetry in November and I haven’t really had any “lessons” on it so to speak could I please get an honest critique on this? It’s my most recent one
The sun will shine again...
As my goals lie broken behind me, it seems to me that my life has become a sea of failures that stretches as far as the eye can see and the tide of regret remains high and washes over me mercilessly. I’m not very sure of anything and what lies ahead of me lies in a thick fog of obscurity. However, though nothing no longer makes sense I’m sure that life will fall back in order and the sun will shine again.
Through this year and the last a shadow had been cast upon me and as time came to pass, there it still remained apart of me and I am glad to say it’s grip on me has started to lessen, but through this time of depression there in the midst of it was a lesson. initially I thought it was all in vain but now I see that I was greatly flawed in terms who I am and my philosophy and it’s sad to say that I was naive but the suffering has offered me growth and that is the greatest gift I could receive. My wounds will heal and it will make me better than what I used to be and once this has been reached, then the sun will shine again.
As terrible as times may be, though goals and friendships lie broken through my fault and my own incompetency, though I cannot see what my life has in store for me I can confidently say that I will try to be the best that I can possibly be and as time heals everything I can only hope that it can heal the things that have been broken by me, but if it cannot then I will not try to change the things that are meant to stay permanently because I have learned that some things just aren’t up to me. Regardless of what will come to be and regardless of what the future holds for me, I’m certain that in the end the sun will shine again.
I didn't expect to read the comments on this video and cry
I'm not an experienced poet but I think it's really good
I love it,you write like I do.
Come by again, they always say
It falls from the heavens and I cycle home
Making mantra's out of the rain.
Come by again, don't come too close
We are them and they are those and we're
Spinning, love, we're falling through the days -
But it's dark outside already, and it no longer rains.
Come by again, so I can kiss you farewell
It's always on those days, you know
When it all goes to hell.
----
I'm not very happy with the poem but I did get inspired to work on the imagery and themes a little. There's the falling away of rain, the coming-going-repetition ending with saying farewell, and how the first stanza features heaven and the last one features hell.
here's something i wrote for my creative writing class-
The sailor's tale:
the temper of creatures
such as her
is unpredictable,
of this
i was warned.
however,
seeing her there
among the waves,
at peace with the sea foam,
she looks like art.
her voice is comparable,
to the song of a dove,
as she hums a soothing melody
for the weary
sailor.
her white dress is long,
and had been weathered
by the mighty ocean.
but it somehow
remained pristine,
and flowing like a sail
with the wind.
her eyes reflect
the sun’s bright glare,
ocean blue spheres
staring straight
at our ship.
and her hair,
golden blonde.
its silhouette
is waist length and wavy.
i feel in my soul,
that if i were to touch it,
it would be as soft
as the cotton clouds
dotted throughout
the baby blue
sky.
the legends were true after all,
you fair temptress,
Aphrodite.
u good if I steel this for ma reading class?
This is so beautiful :')
Wooooooow!! Beautiful piece
What grade did you get? :)
this is beautiful!
Which is better because I can't choose.
These are 2 haikus I made and I can't tell which is better.
1. Two fiery sharp blades
Side by side blinding the eyes
First blinding then grand.
2. A flash of winter
In the midst of falls nature
Like the seasons change
I personally like the first one better; to use any word twice in such a short poem can be either bold or cringe, but you pulled it off perfectly here with a nice setup & twist 👍 the second haiku seems a tad generic imho
Wonderful tips and advice and so well delivered too, it opens up a lot of avenues not signposted, especially living off the crumbs of the masters. Now for the wedding cake !
alone in thoughts
buried in mind
hidden life that time left behind
crickets chirp
the wind breezes by
birds sing their tune
snakes slither from behind
just some from the top of my head.
Thoughts of lonelines
This line blured in my mind
Buried deep, left behind
Oh, the emptiness in, the nights sky.
Idk lol
Some flip of the top
I think there's something there! Thank you for sharing :) Keep going!
I’m so glad for this site. So much poetry out there but so hard to know if you’re any good. I really appreciate your advice about mixing metaphors and also cliches
Education
I am a child
And I am a man
From beyond the sun
I walk again
I am here as life
In body to grow
Yet I am spirit
In continual flow
I have finally awakened
Within this time
Reflections everywhere
Educate my mind
I am here to strengthen
In the tide of life
Growing through trials
Of karmic time
Feeling your pain
To understand mine
Dennis Burrow
2018
You are a mystery
Do not know what
The feeling of your heart is
I'm confused by my feelings
Does not know what to do
In the world that's messy
Please give what you felt
I was scared of knowing,
of what you are feeling
Forgive me, I am a coward-
To be free,
and under the meat of my heart.
1 - fine tip. Think in terms of your having one idea and dividing it rather than multiple ideas.
2 - extra tip: the two elements you're keeping in tension are great repeating lines when writing a villanelle.
Odysseus' Afterwords.
Darling Circe, leading me to sin.
As I rest my head upon your thighs
Whisper me what beast I would've been.
Ichor pulses cool beneath your skin.
By this deathless blood you mesmerize.
Darling Circe, leading me to sin.
Turning sailors into Otherkin.
Some to ursinate, some leonize.
Whisper me what beast I would've been.
Kiss you up and down your eight foot ten.
Let's again before this morning dries.
Darling Circe, leading me to sin.
Would my sweat bead up a dorsal fin?
Does my tongue inspire butterflies?
Whisper me what beast I would've been.
Now again to taste the light within,
Stir your repertoire of little cries.
Darling Circe, leading me to sin.
Whisper me what beast I would've been.
Here's a rule 6: Even once you're published (see above) don't get too big in the britches to pick up tips from a RUclips video.
Literally best writing advice I ever got
Me personally I write for 10 mins straight to an instrumental when I have writers block. I go back after a few hours and read highlight certain lines if it seems conceptual
You're so hilarious! I hope to promote your channel in future so that more people can appreciate you for your wonderful delivery style!
Thank you very much for the kind words and support! I'm glad you enjoyed the video :)
Lie in their eyes (A)
Truth in my head (B)
Deep as they see (C)
Shallow in the air (D)
Sadness is nice (A)
But not when you're dead (B)
It'll be pain in the knee (C)
Disappeared, but where? (D)
Sometimes I wrote mine like that :>
Creative! I don't think I've encountered such a pattern before, but it's definitely possible to create some interesting effects by basically rhyming across stanzas like this. However, you'd probably have to be very careful with meter to make sure that the rhythm is engaging enough for the reader to get to the second stanza for the rhyming payoff.
Mix it up like this...
*Sadness is nice
Lie in their eyes
Truth in my head
but not when I'm dead
It'll be pain in the knee
Deep as they see
Disappeared, but where?
Shallow in the air*
I wrote a poem for someone
Expresses thoughts that I want
Content all the feelings I had
Cover with love that I cared alot....
To be continue😍
Thanks, I've learned a lot about poetry making
That’s really good, have you finished it? Lol
Tips for writing a single poem about your life story? Trauma, experiences etc. For years, I've wanted to publicly share some of my life experiences in order to heal. But so much of it is so personal, and so deep, unrelatable, extreme etc. That I've never been able to openly talk about it.
Until it occured to me to sum it up in a written poem! It'll be much easier to open up about in subtle/vague lines in a poem.
I love to write poems! I especially like to add some musical environment to accompany what I write. Sometimes the musical environment IS the poem. My personal "tip" if one were to call it that is, WHY am I doing this? i.e. what is on my heart now and how can I develop it into a poem or whatever and share it with myself and/or others? I'm not concerned with making it "good" or "popular" ,I just want to do it and see what happens, reflect on it and manipulate it till I can say it's done! I lie a LOT ,and pretend something is important to me and create a real fake connection with what I am doing; being intensely sincere, no matter how phony the sincerity is critical to me. I want to enjoy /review what I have created after some time and not be able to distinguish between what is real and what is fabricated. My goal is to truly enjoy the inspiration and creation process and try to portray some "love of the craft" into it all ,even if it isn't really all that "likeable" in a conventional sense..... I think all that "freedom" is designed to help make me better and better at one thing exclusively: being available for what comes next.
Really great tips in here. I will continue to revisit this
My English is weak I need help with this
Its a poem I wrote it for a song
FLAWERSLAND
Let me tel you a story Come on Listen with keen ears
A land that's full of glory Or maybe that's just what appears
You can't escape from this land the land of flowers
Even if you claim that you have some super powers
Every little kid in this mystery land
Has given a single little flower with small petals to guard
keep it in a good shape and I know that its really hard
But there's nothing you can't do with this tiny little hands
Days passing by Even weeks passing by
If you're flower just died there isn't new ones to buy
We are getting old fast and one day we gonna die
Hey Tell me how is your flower just stop telling me lies
Some people paint their flower if its turning to gray
Some of them making new ones with paper and clay
Some of them hiding They're flower because they are ashamed
They're all looking good but hiding a story behind
From your perspective you see your flower the worst
But if you just knew what they're hiding
You'll be happy the most
We are getting old fast and one day we gonna die
Hey Tell me how is your flower just stop telling me lies
Some people paint their flower if its turning to gray
Some of them making new ones with paper and clay
Some of them hiding They're flower because they are ashamed
They're all looking good but hiding a story behind
Because I love you-(unknown)
I can see your joyless face
Where did the smile go
The smile you had even in the hardest of time
How did it manage to go
You have changed so much
It feels like you have lost a part of yourself
I wish you could tell me what is hurting you so much
Because I can't lose you like this.
Because I love you, you know.
that red sauce
on the tongue
when it drops
from above
takes out all
of the fun
a blade of grass
is as green
as you see
it to be
and in your dreams
can be anything
the misty leaves
in the trees
that I don't see
after noon
COVID 19 Poem / 2020 Poem.
From St. Patrick’s day, till Christmas Eve,
We barely had to time to grieve.
To all the lives lost, we remember when the world was in frost,
When we could stay close together, and when we could be in school,
When we felt like little bugs on a cool summer day.
Our fear is fraying, and soon we will have a great promise for those decaying.
The praise we give to those who lost they’re own lives,
Front line workers, to non essential workers,
We remember you as our heroes,
We remember you as those who thrive.
I promise everyone, we can make it through this alive.
Ok question to tip #1. I totally get to focus on one topic, but one image? Am I getting this wrong? Example: I am currently writing a poem about how parenting is that fragile balance between letting our children go, allowing ourselves to grieve because the intimacy goes away while at the same time rejoicing in their growth. Alright. I wanted to bring that across by giving a lot of small images that show how I used to know everything about my daughter (which animal she prefers on the front of her diaper or which type of veggies she'd sort out of her stew to put on my plate) until I didn't. And that it's hard to accept to know less and less but also rewarding. I thought that several small images (each one line) would create this dense picture of intimacy. I always have three images followed by "I used to know everything about you, until I didn't.". Is that cluttered, do you think ?
I found one of my old poems back when I was a beginner and knew nothing about tension and all these tips, and was surprised to see that I still used tension in the story: (TW, SH)
"A new toy is here to play with
This toy is different from the rest
It's made of metal, not stuffing
It's not soft but slices thin
Pain is brought, not pleasure
Though those two are quite the same
This toy is used for broken skin
and that fatal ecstasy is felt again
Warmth is found in its cold edges
One is wiped of all one's stresses."
That's so good :0
That's really nice i like to write poems about sh too :D
I would just like to publicly thank T. S. Elliot for making me feel like A Good Poet™ with that last quote
Don't worry, you're killing it! Keep writing my friend :)
Dreadful days
Hopeless nights
Dull eyes who once shined so bright
Holding my last breath
Unfinished Goodbyes
It Ends here tonight
I'm new to poetry( ╹▽╹ )
Thats great!
I really like it !!! Nice one ;)
Some of the best poems are short. :)
About last tip - there is thin line between stealing and getting inspiration from someone, but as Sarah Kane said in Psychosis 4:48: "Theft is the holy act. On a twisted path to expression."
And much of art would not exist if not a bit of "stealing" I'm totally against plagiarism, but taking a thought and putting it in your words so nothing repeats? Sure. It will help you immensely.
This is the only good advice on poetry I’ve ever heard
Hi Nikita, I just found your account and this video was so lovely, insightful and smart. Thank you so much! Have a wonderful week.
So yeah I made a poem and it's kinda long but I was wondering if anyone has any tips. Sometimes I kind of struggle with relating what I write to real events in my life cause I am 16 and (luckily) nothing much ever happened to me yet. Also, I'd love to put this to music, but it seems kinda impossible.
The One
Temptation over destination,
Barely brings but desolation.
So I’ll climb, I’ll find,
I’ll leave myself behind.
I know it’s of no use,
But I can’t control the temptation.
Now I am on a journey,
Without a destination.
You only learn you’re lost,
When you find.
You only discover you’re down,
When you climb.
So why might I miss you?
And how do I know,
If I never met you,
That I need you so?
For the one I’ve never met,
Is the one I’ll never kiss.
And the one I’ll never get,
Is the only one I’ll ever miss.
I’ve grown to be alone,
It’s all I have ever known.
So I will die or fly,
Please don’t make me try.
A committed quest for company,
How my heartache has grown.
I am on a journey,
And I’m travelling alone.
You can only tell you’re immortal,
When you die.
You can only know you’re bound,
When you fly.
But there’s this dark in my life,
By the name of you.
That I can’t survive,
Or ever get through.
For the one I’ve never met,
Is the one I’ll never kiss.
And the one I’ll never get,
Is the only one I’ll ever miss.
I’m stuck on some route,
And my time’s running out.
Cause when it’s winter all will fall,
Not even I shall stand tall.
Will anyone ever interfere,
Or marry me on my route?
Whilst time ticks tirelessly,
My fire is dying out.
Cause the fall of summer,
Starts such a summer for fall.
Yet after all, the winter of fall,
Leads the winter to take it all.
I am looking for a partner,
But I can only gain a guest.
And as of my departure,
I’ve missed the one I’ve never met.
For the one I’ve never met,
Is the one I’ll never kiss.
And the one I’ll never get,
Is the only one I’ll ever miss.
Am I looking for a partner,
Or am I my own guest?
Have I been, as of my departure,
The only one I’ve never met?
For the one I’ve never met,
Is the only one I’ll ever wish.
And the one I’ll never get,
Is the only one I’ll ever miss.
Was I looking for a partner,
Or was I my own guest?
Was I, as of my departure,
The only one I never met?
For the one I never met,
Is the only one I ever wished.
And the one I never got,
Is the only one I ever missed.
I was the one I never met.
I was the one I always wished.
I was the one I never got.
I was the one I always missed.
As someone that raps, vids like this really broaden your horizon ngl
You, the envoy of Sol,
As distant from Saturn's Titan.
One which I cannot lay gaze,
Possession of blinding beauty,
Surpasses more than Medusa's curse.
You're my Sol for a lot of reasons,
One that burns just like myriad others of your kind;
Scattered across the vast cosmos,
You're not one of a kind.
Yet you're my Sol; the only one.
The star which I've adorned,
One which I've grown fond.
Yet, unlike your kind,
You're the one I cannot lay my gaze upon.
Not the kind that I could stare upon.
You're this one of a kind stellar,
That I'm unable to bring myself to admire even from afar.
This is how bad I am at poe making
It's hard to let go
You made my past
But you left my present
Hate you for leaving?
I can't dare
I try my best to let go
But then, Im lying to myself.
I want my best friend back
But I know you've moved on
I wish I did to,
I can't move on.
You were the reason
I enjoyed my life.
For thy I hate memories
As they remind me
Of things I can't bring back.
You were my life,
You were my soul,
You were my other half.
Please come back.
What makes me love this video is the easy to understand examples
These tips are the best, I now have a broad mind as to how to become a better poet!
It's amazing how I already had this tips at hand naturally
All I can say is never disregard a single idea, they all have potential, sometimes the most random of ideas can materialise into something special.
ceiling reminding me of the inside of a coffin feeling confined thinking this is the end going asleep is what I dread, trying not to lose my head by hanging on by a thread from the negative situations that i fled
the anxiety keeping me suspicious of movement from humans like a mutant I'm hiding with my soul being translucent.trying to configure my true feelings is confusing and I'm not tryna be a nuisance nor am I being prudent.
Thoughts on this? I am new to writing and at the moment I got a rap vibe type of poetry going on so far
It's good. But the sentence is just....too long. Like each sentence.
I’d say, let the words breathe! There’s too much packed too closely. Break ups those paragraphs and even those sentences in lines.
Also, breaking it up will help to see what’s unnecessary. There’s some really good stuff in there, but I feel like you’re trying to explain too much (as said in the video, less is often better)
I love it! But yes, I agree with the others that it needs to be broken into shorter lines. I can see when I read it where I would add line breaks if it were me.
OK I just started poetry and for those who want to be poetic. Or just write poetry. I would recommend starting with free verse poetry, because it's really simple and in a nice fashion. Then if you get tired of free verse, then you should try haiku because you could fit a whole summary in 3 sentences, although you might need to study synonyms and syllables. Now when your writing, take an object or an image and describe it or describe what makes it best and try your best to be enthusiastic.
Trekking up the hill,
The sun waivers in and out
I hesitate, pause still
It's assured rays cradle about,
Before shamefully drawing away
Covered by the clouds' polluted ideas
So willingly, I anticipate each day
To live without this fickle flare
It tenderly gifts, a soothing warmth
It regrettably revokes, from my legs to hair
Teetering back and forth
Rarely afforded the clarify of a cloudless day
🤯 Oooh ! That has been a mesmerising😵💫 journey of Un-learning the obsolete and rediscovery of poetry. Thanks 💯Man 👍🏾
ok ngl that intro caught me off-guard. you have my full attention now.
I took notes through this video. I'm lazy, I never take notes. 10/10 new subscriber.
This makes poetry so much easier and better i am only new to poetry but this helps so much as the sealine swims we all stand in desipar there is nothing better the a sealine in despair
This might be late but I’m working on a poem and I need your thoughts before I Stones and Words
What’s the best lie you have ever been told?
You’ll never die
You’ll never be hurt
You’ll never be free
Mine is a quote...funny isn’t it a quote a lot of kids are told ruins me everyday, ruins a lot of kids everyday.
What is it?
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me
I believed it when I was seven and no one had the heart to tell me I was different. That my blue and red wires were twisted and tangled. That my metallic skin was dented and rusty. That my emotions were like majestic unicorns, something that doesn’t exist.
That tale about rocks being more painful than words is a lie. A lie told to kids that complain about life not being fair. A lie told to teens who are bullied by dictionary’s that only know harm. A lie told to adults who have thrown themselves in a pit of catfished marriages and fake I love you.
There's a lot of powerful moments here! Thank you for sharing :)
this is the first video that i saw in your channel.... I LOVE IT! You are amazing!
Thank you very much for the kind words! I appreciate it a lot :)
dress nice, look pretty
prettier than i myself think of me
who for? do i try
who's validation do i need
i think, and it's not easy to think
for thinking makes you realize the reality you feared to admit
so i make myself think
to realize what i already knew
i try so that they accept me
and i'm not reminded of the times
i'm constantly rejected
by no one else, but me
Legacy
A man strives for aspirations
A man look up to inspirations
A man wants to leave his mark
A man wants to leave his legacy behind
But a man is so busy; chopping woods and fetching water
Though we're mortals and we'll die
So a fame so attractive
Yet we have not ponder upon, yet we've not to the core of it.
Yet we've not contemplate it,yet we've not.
The day of the doom, the day of the curtains
We've been fighting this fact, we've been ignoring this truth
We are but a heart pumping,breath gasping,meat coated skeleton
We're so out of place, we're so unmindful We're so aging everyday
We inborn to death sentence
Yet covet eternity, still to die changeless
The conflict's nev'r ending
In the aghast of fadeaway, in the fear of vanishing
A man desires his dent, and philosophy
To pass on to, to looked up to, to talked about.
A man wants his legacy, to continued.
-Somkhang Pansa
9th May
(What do you think about this?)
Pretty good :0
Thank you, i'm just watching to better my craft!!
The fifth tip was my first step and now I'm able to make original poems
Circulation slowed by piano stool edge, Feet tingling as ears are soothed by rhythmic chanting of a pleasant voice. Excellent lesson. Subscribed, despite the lateness of my action.
i listen
to all of them,
i don't say much
but i listen
i always do
at this point, inconveniently so
i'm frazzled
because they don't seem to realize
or maybe they simply do not care enough
to think so
and realize how i know so much about them,
but they barely even know
what i like and what i do not
i wish to tell them, i want to
i want them to know i like flowers
i like music, especially that one band
i like painting, and stargazing
i like the moon, be it full or a crescent
i'd like them to know i like the nights
but i can't stand them when i have to sleep
because those dreamy landscapes and skyscapes
turn into a nightmare
the moon grows a face that i fear
the beautiful bright stars in the night sky
are long arms and legs to the face
aligning themselves, reaching down
to grab my throat that i make little use of
i'd tell them all, i too
have a story to share with you all
but i tried once, twice and thrice
each time getting cut off
i guess no one was curious enough
to know the name of the band that i liked
so now i have accepted it darling,
this time i was not scared of the moon and the stars
for i found ink and paper more useful than my voice
Thank you for helping me in my summer vacation home work
Thank you for inspiring my poem titled Tension!
Her skin was peeled off revealing her flesh,
Tears trickled along her blood
"I am...me?!" She screamed
Can you tell me what you interpret the very short poem was about?
I'm interested in how different people see it from different perspectives
Very useful skills I'm learning as a writer, the tension part makes sense.
Title: Hope
Hope is what we need
Hope is what we seek
Hope is what we eat until we know something is gone
Like wall crashing down when I saw you somewhere up there
A place that was nowhere anyone would like
Nor a place that anyone would hope for
A ghost running in my brain like a pinning stone
Trying to pull me down to my tomb stone
Hope was something i would never hope for until someone comes knocking at my door
Please don’t give me anymore hope
For which I have lost, unless someone comes knocking at my door
Hope was what I seeked, until I lost someone so dear to me I cpuld never adore.
So please don’t give me hope but throw it into the stupid door
can u plz help me is it good? i saw this video only now sorry
hello?
Excellent post, thanks.
Can someone critique this poem I made but keep in mind it’s the first poem I’ve made
As I wash my hands from the black blood from my lovers heart I just broke, I try to end this chapter and move on.
But when I walk on the entrance of shame with a shovel I just buried his body with, I see him standing there with a halo shining brighter than the sun above his head. So beautiful and pristine, perfectly straight white teeth like his sexuality, I had so many questions but nothing came out.
He rises before the world in the sunrise sweet silence. I could hear his voice speaking to me in that silence. I was an addict of his dark raspy voice.
So every night I felt lonely I numbed my pain with his voice. I mean what is even so special about him? There’s plenty other people to love, and plenty of drugs to try so who cares?
I realized I needed him for my sanity
I realized I loved him for his insanity
Can someone critique this or give me tips?
Our fingers interlocked
And we shared a smile
We became close
And walked for miles
We traveled together
Hands clasped tight
But you didn't mean forever
And it changed overnight
I fell in the mud
And someone pulled you across
You spared only a glance
And decided I was a fair loss
I sat for a while
And watched with a smile
You were happy
So I was, too
I waited for you to return
Soon the mud dried and my skin started to burn
I thought about what we'd been through
Only if I'd known I didn't need you
Nice poem! Maybe change the last line to "if only?"
@@joy4427 Thank you! That's a great idea, I'll definitely do that!
I found your video by chance (just made a random Google search) and I must say I'm glad to have stumbled upon it! ❤️ Will keep these tips in mind.
great job guiding us towards better poems! Glad I found your resource
Thank you very much! I'm glad that you found it helpful!
Can someone critique my little poem:
Title: It Glows
My eyes can not see.
Walls of coal left to right
With no hope in me,
What is that in my sight?
The golden glistening that my eyes bear,
Of flickering flame.
To this Sun naught can compare,
Thus in my shock I am not to blame
The happiness that now within me flows,
Comes from when the ember Glows.
The editing is styled so old, it's so good and nostalgic.