Why Sexually Disciplined Men Are Attractive To Women
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- Опубликовано: 20 июн 2024
- Talking points: discipline, mindset, attraction, relationships
The title says it all, team. A lot of men simply aren't that disciplined when it comes to their sexual energy, even though being disciplined has some pretty immense benefits. Here's a look at why that is.
(00:00:00) - Intro
(00:01:34) - A potential major cause of insecurity in a partner
(00:02:56) - Why women are attracted to sexual discipline
(00:05:00) - It creates security and safety
(00:06:31) - Do this for YOU because a) it’s hard, and b) most men aren’t disciplined-at all
(00:08:36) - Your sexual body can be THE training ground for discipline
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Развлечения
All aspects of your life, sexual, intellectual, emotional, etc is about your energy manifesting itself. Taming this energy in all of these aspects compounds and synergistically adds to each other aspect - it’s like a silent superpower.
"You want to create sexual discipline because it's fucking hard" -- THIS - summarizes this video very well. Do hard things so life will eventually become easier.
Every man needs to watch this video. Life's already hard as is even with discipline, but having discipline gives you the edge to deal with life's curveballs. Even with sexual discipline nothings promised, now imagine without sexual discipline, your life is out of control. Your discipline, health, finances, career, relationships will suffer. I think as men if we can get this under control the rest will fall into place.
Struggling with this. Working towards building my identity around being a sexually disciplined man. Trying to stay busy and reframing the urges.
As a woman, thank you!
Great Video!
Contentment with your partner and your sex life is huge. If you are in a committed relationship and are not happy, you need to tell them what specifically is not working.
Whether it be the amount of sex, the type of sex, the chemistry, the conversations around it, the way she dresses, her lack of makeup, hygiene,etc you need to voice it. The reality is sexuality is both a part of who you are and a part of your romantic relationships. It is not fair to burden your partner with your needs or have them rebuff you for having yours. Like everything else, it is something to be acknowledged, worked on, and done together. If there is refusal to work on sexual issues and to see your sexuality as a very real part of who you are, perhaps you are not a sustainable relationship.
Do not suffer in silence or go to porn to fill a hole, that is actually frustration within your relationship.
I'm blessed to be with a loving woman who understands how hard this has been for me and were meeting each other in the middle.
And ultimately, you can not be the best man you can be if you have always resented or unresolved your sex drive instead of growing discipline and communicating your challenges to your partner.
"It is not fair to burden your partner with your needs"
I don't agree with this because the entire point of a committed relationship is to mutually and joyfully meet each other's needs than can only be met in that other person. That's what makes committed relationships so special. If you're in a committed relationship and you have needs that aren't being met (love, trust, loyalty, sexual, emotional, intimacy, connection, communication, openness, honesty, domestic support, etc) then the other person needs to pull their weight. Because when you committed to each other and made vows, you are saying "i will meet your needs and you will meet mine in sickness and in health to the best of our abilities, and we will prioritize that for each other".
That's why dating is so easy and fun because you're effortlessly meeting each other's needs. And if a need is hard for you to meet for your spouse, you need to talk it out and figure out how to make it as effortless for the two of you as possible so it doesn't feel like a burden to them.
Without this, there's no point to the relationship. There's no point to commitment if you have to suppress your valid needs. No relationship like that will last. You'll get bitter and resentful and feel like you're walking on eggshells.
If you can't get your needs satisfied that can only be met in that person, then you're nothing more than roommates or friends. And it won't last. This is why marriages fail - because of unmet needs and failure to avoid hurting each other. But failure to meet the other person's needs IS hurting them. Because they're devoted to you, but you won't give to them in the way that matters.
But you gotta establish between needs and wants. A want is something you can live without. A need is something that tells you "if I don't get this with this person, then I'd rather be single".
Idk about you dude, but I'd rather be single if my girl ain't gonna meet my sexual needs. Doesn't give me an excuse to be a degenerate monster and expect her to ride me 24/7. But there's definitely a certain threshold where if I don't get satisfied through her, then nothing but frustration happens. And no amount of "discipline" will take that away. What's the point of being in a relationship if you constantly have to "discipline" yourself and shut your needs off just because the other person won't meet them when they're fully capable of doing so? Isn't that what they promised to do?
Sounds very one sided to me.
Great job! This is very true. I think some guys don’t even realize how important this information is. Men, if you think it’s just blah blah, I advise you to listen to it one more time, really carefully.
Discipline is freedom, retention is very fulfilling!
Thank you for this information
I don't necessarily disagree with your point, but I think the fundamental assumption you are basing the first part on (the fact that women understand the male experience at all) is highly flawed.
Anecdotally I found that women don't have any sort of understanding of the male experience. The amount of times I personally have had to explain extremely basic things about men in our experience to the women I'm speaking to is frustratingly high.
Meanwhile on my end, I feel like I've had to become almost an expert in women, and the female experience, just to have a *chance* with any of them.
Men tell women all the time what they need from the women, but women don't ever listen. And it's extremely simple. For a man, all he wants is a good, loving woman who likes to have sex with him and doesn't act like a pain in the ass. But women don't ever listen or embody this. Because truthfully they don't care how men feel or what they want, or what they experience. They have no interest in actually being there for the guy like that or empathizing with him about any of it. They just want the man to fulfill them and their needs. So the man is treated like a disposable accessory to her life rather than a companion.
Good one
Facts . Retain your essence and develop self control. It's very important
Good video, will look forward to the next one
i suppose it boils down to the fact that you are strong in your values. women respect morals. love the talking point though, great video.
Very true
Keep bringing it!!!
Really wanting to focus on self control on the sexual cravings and urges. As a single man who's 30 its been the hardest challenge to practice sexual discipline. And it really comes down to dealing with the loneliness and other psychological things that ive had to discuss with a therapist. This is a video ill probably be watching every day to help Kee myself accountable.
This is good stuff man
Dont practice sexual discipline to attract a woman
Do it because it will get your head and heart out of the darkest places and move into focus and control.
Please up load part 2. Thank you
Great talk, did you make the follow-up video on how to be more sexually disciplined? Thanks!
I had to subscribe after this one #ManTalks is in my head. Super relevant and helpful. Thank you for putting in the work to produce this content!
Great video. Thanks for sharing
I think it really shocks women at how i could care less about sex and i love conversation.
Most relationship issues(women have issues too, but men are called to be leaders, and you lead by example) stem from women not feeling safe. Whether that’s mentally (because your too busy talking to or looking at other women instead of her), emotionally (because you feel like a pos for lacking self discipline you can’t be there for her), sexually (because the lack of self discipline = intimacy disorder), or physically (because you behave inappropriately when your not getting your fix, or you go out of your way to do something because it might involve other women, like selecting the longer checkout line). Women are extremely intuitive and pick up on your not so subtle clues that you lack self discipline, and they know that a man without self control is a dangerous man.
I agree with the whole not feeling safe part. But even still, you can be a completely good disciplined man and the woman still will judge you because of her own framework that has nothing to do with you. People like to project this idea that women are these perfect sensory detectors who are 100% right about their judgements they make against everyone. This is far from the truth. Look at all the ways women misjudge even each other. Just because they're sensitive doesn't mean they're right.
You can demonstrate many capabilities and discipline in all areas of your life, but if you don't demonstrate it in a way she likes based on her preferences/complexes, she will judge you and deem you unfit or untrustworthy. And she will fail to communicate with you about it to get a clearer picture. Yet none of this has anything to do with you.
Women view everything from their feelings - not facts. They feel a certain way about the facts and then the feelings become their reality lense from which they then decide what facts they want to acknowledge or ignore. Then their likes and dislikes become proof of that reality. This makes them oblivious to the concept of cause and effect. That's why when a woman emasculates a man, and the man dishes her shitty behavior back, she's surprised and feels abused. Her feelings gave her the justification to act toxic, and then gave her the justification that she's the victim. Even though she created the negative situation.
So the bottom line is to be the man that YOU deem worthy of trust and value, and embody that. Because the rest you can't control. You can't control how women perceive you, what they think, feel, judge you by, or how they behave. And molding to their ever changing subjective and arbitrary standards of "what makes them feel safe" is a fools errand. Take their judgements with a grain of salt. And be the person you think is best to be.
If they appreciate it, great. If they don't, it doesn't mean you're wrong or bad. It means it's their opinion.
@@smokingcrab2290 Well said and articulated! There are countless douchebags & f**kboys out there whom "good women" fall head over heels for. Even though logically women know these types of guys might make terrible long-term monogamous partners, these same women still chase them head-over-heels. So this notion that women are extremely intuitive and pick up on subtle cues only applies for situations based within a certain context (sad examples when they don't always work are - narcissists, con-artists, rapists, serial killers). If there is one thing women are really good at sensing is whether guys have "good game" or not, which is analogous to how good of a dancer you are. You can be a celibate Catholic Buddhist Zen Monk with ultimate self-control, but this does not equate to you having great game with women. Some of the best pick-up artists I've met lack self-discipline, but their game is on point. Do these guys need to fix their discipline? Absolutely, because having game is not a "magic pill". Many "nice & kind women" out there are attracted to men without self control (aka dangerous men) because they are either too naive or lack the emotional maturity to understand cause-and-effect.
Very well said.
This is probably one of the best videos I’ve watched… and I’ve watched a lot of RUclips lol
The best thing i love about sexual discipline is the FREEDOM!!
This explains why I ended my last relationship so clearly. I actually told him I didn’t feel safe with him.
Anxious insecure much 😂
@@dasfx2895 lmao self respecting and safe. And scared of prn addicted men
This is all too raw for me right now. I have juts lost someone mainly due to this (and other things). Thank you Connor for your relevant content.
I feel like you've been watching me the last 6 months.
You get a lot of energy once you can control it
This is true if u do it right. The more i told her no and stuck to my no and didn't cave in- the more crazy it drove her. She made all the efforts. She wanted to tame me to conquer me i guess especially when she saw me reject other women too who were just as if not more attractive than her.
In what context did she see you reject other woman. When you say reject you mean she asked you to have sex and you said no?
@@Stefan-vc2ef yes. I kept the same standards with all of them but she earned my attention.
banger
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I don't know. So much of what he's saying seems to make sense for most mature, older, high-functioning adults in marriages or serious LTR's. Women feel more secure, and men demonstrate more self control, which is the ultimate freedom and flex.
It's just that, in my truest and deepest experiences with women, dating, and life in my younger years - high School, college, and slightly after, (aka the most foundational and pivotal years of a man's development) - having a sexually disciplined personality was not an asset.
From everything I saw in my youth - it was the guys with an edge who got the girl...the guys who are sexually AGGRESSIVE got the girl....the guys with dozens of hot girls as followers on FB or IG get the girl. And the man who takes things slower and with self-control don't.
In college, I actually remember two things two separate female friends advised me on when it came to women: One girl said that when you look at a woman, you have to have a look in your eye that says "I could totally tap that, and anybody else I wanted". Another girl said that girls will sleep with the assholes/bad boys before the nice guys, because they know the nice guys will wait, but they don't want to lose their chance with the more aggressive guys.
Also, as I got into my late 20's and early 30's, and started developing more confidence, having one-night stands and being more sexually flirtatious with women, etc, I noticed that what MADE women more attracted to me was when they FOUND out I was fucking and flirting with lots of other women! Basically, the more sexually UNdisciplined I showed myself to be, the more success I had with women.
Granted, I think this video is great advice for people ALREADY IN relationships. Once you give your trust to somebody and are trying to built something with her, you need to show a woman you can control yourself. It's just that in order to get the woman in the first place (Or before you've had sex with them), it seems you need to have a bit of a player/mysterious/IG player in order to perk their interest.....
.........and this dichotomy has always bothered me. That you need to be one way before you're with a woman, but then another way after you're with her. Because changing yourself to be either one way or another as soon as you decide to become exclusive with somebody is not true honesty or true vulnerability.
This advice doesn’t just to apply to older couples; it's for both young and older couples seeking genuine connection that lasts. Self-discipline means having control and maturity. I saw this in my husband when he first started courting me when he was 18 years old and I was 20 years old, and I was deeply drawn to it. It's a silent yet captivating quality and I still admire today 15 years later . ♥️ We also know only each other intimately. Virginity is an irreplaceable gift that held great meaning for me.
With all due respect, the girls and women you’ve come across have shown a lack of genuine honor and respect for their mind, body, and soul. This is evident in the growing number of older women turning to social media to express their frustration about the absence of good men. Many of them spent their youth seeking validation from men who didn’t appreciate them, demonstrating a lack of self-discipline. Relationships with “bad boys” often leads to pain, confusion and loneliness 💔. On the other hand, those girls and women who were raised to understand their worth from a young age seek men who exhibit strength in protection, leadership, and self-control. We were never attracted to men who viewed women as mere objects (players and bad boys). We avoided them like the plague. Encountering men with such awful attitudes can be truly frightening.
do you think working out can help allot with this as well?
What if you have no avenue to properly use your sexual energy? Rejection from women is routine in my life despite my best efforts to be chivalrous, loving, and compassionate.
If women aren’t attracted to you then it doesn’t matter how chivalrous, loving, and compassionate of a man you are.
That's on them not you. Theyre judging you unfairly as a man they don't see value in. But you see the value in yourself. So lead with that.
Do you really believe women think like this? Because 30 is the new 20. I am sure you are mainly speaking about healthy women. I don't believe the average woman cares (unless she is already with you) but I do believe have discipline is important as a man/father/friend to set the example for others.
This is such a struggle. I’ve come so far, but Ive got so far to go. I used to be deep into porn. And now I use it maybe twice a week and only pictures. Im working towards one day cutting it out all together
Well you litarly discribed why bodycount matters.
Is there any hope for older men, who've been undisciplined ALL their lives?
I'm a single woman of a certain age, who's pretty much giving up on having another relationship, because these old guys are the only ones available.
Is it too late for them to decide to be a man of substance?
It seems to me, that their whole identity is in their sexuality... the problem is compounded by the fact that their "little best buddy" no longer functions as well as it used to. They are having identity crisis, because of it.
Ugh.
i don't think so. im male but i don't like men who are still like that around those ages. it's something that needs be sorted out by 40 at the latest. i think those men have been single that long for a reason.
Lust is like any emotion and needs to be controlled and channeled appropriately:
ruclips.net/video/Fibw9OhYjKE/видео.htmlsi=SgCHJZBH4u2045ch
Because for some reason that's just how it is even though women preach personality
The whole idea of sexual discipline being attractive to women is a myth. Women don't want a guy who is thirsty and only focused on sex because they are usually shallow or dangerous. If you are spending too much time online with sexual content that is most likely an indication you have no control of your life. That is not a problem with sex, that is a problem with structure. Once you start getting your life in order, with or with out porn, you will be more attractive to women. Being able to have an authentic conversation with a woman without constantly making sexual references is very attractive to women. If you start a relationship with a woman and she doesn't like you having conversations with other women or wants ALL your attention that is a yellow flag (or red) that she is insecure. This is a woman who will want to control you and your life. If it is a monogamous relationship she now controls everything and many of you guys reading this know its true. Also if you, as a guy, are attracted to more than one woman why are you settling for monogamy in the first place? This is the core reason sexual discipline is hard because we as humans are naturally sexual creatures. And in my opinion most of us are not monogamous by nature. So yes be sexually disciplined so as not to be thirsty when talking to women but don't think you will be happy living outside your nature. And your nature is to be in control of your life. So any problems with porn or sex are symptoms of a larger issue but they are not THE issue.
No they’re not
Sexual discipline in a man is highly attractive to a woman. It projects an aura of strength and mastery. Women know that men have powerful sexual urges and if a man is capable of harnessing his sexual urges, it conveys the message that he can also control powerful emotions such as anger. That makes women feel safe. Because men are physically stronger than their female partners, knowing they are safe with their partner is essential for women. A man who has mastered his sexual urges and is sexually disciplined also earns him the respect from women that men desire. Men should not underestimate the appeal of a sexually disciplined man. Just thinking about this topic is making me feel kinda hot, ngl. 😅
Bullshit. Women just want to use sex as a means of controlling the man. She doesn't feel safe because of him. She feels safe by controlling him. Because the truth is she doesn't want to meet his needs. She doesn't want to be his helper in this way. She wants to be in control so she can get her needs met while the man suppresses his.
Not walking around with your tongue hanging out
You're a nice guy with nice guy advice. THATS THE PROBLEM. You're giving simp advice. Don't ever let your woman trust you and feel 'secure'. She'll get bored and leave you. Always have other options, just like they do. F the 'safety'. Nothing is safe since smartphones and tinder.
Looks like first world problem. Average guy, like me, have no need for discipline of buying Ferrari impulsively, because I have no money for it. Average guy should got sexual optionality in first place. So, pickup artist's advice is way more useful than talking about discipline. But I admit - impulse control for consume IG models and porn is a very good thing. Watching porn etc make one less capable got sexual opportunities with real woman.
@@IlIamo, one, who lack options is not disciplined. But, for him thinking about sexual discipline is too early. Crawling, stepping, running, training in track-and-field. In proper order
everyone needs financial discipline, doesn't matter what income bracket your in.